LISTENING SKILLS

Listening:-Listening is a process of receiving, interpreting and reacting to the

messages received from the communication sender. Listening is a process
involving awareness, reception, and perception.
MISCONCEPTIONS / MYTHS ABOUT LISTENING:
[Link] is the Same thing as Hearing: In hearing, the sound waves strike
the eardrum, causing vibrations. These are transmitted to the brain. Listening
occurs only when the brain swings into action by reconstructing these electronic
impulses by giving meaning to the sounds. True listening is a dynamic process.
Hearing is with ears, but listening is with mind.
[Link] Listeners Receive the same Message: If this were so, why some people
will sleep or not enjoy the Speech/Presentation/Lecture. All listeners do not
receive the same message in a uniform manner, It demands not only full
attention but also proactive interest in what the speaker is talking about.
[Link] readers are good listeners
[Link] improves with age
[Link] skills are difficult to learn
The researches found that shortly after a 10-minute oral presentation the
average listener will have retained only 50% of what was said after 48 hrs they
are likely to remember only 10%. (WHY LISTENING IS IMPORTANT?)
 TWO-EARS IS A BLESSING:

• You only hear with your ears (which are always open), but listen with
your mind.

Most successful leaders and managers LISTEN. Many qualities can take
you to the pinnacle of your profession, but what can “keep” you there is
effective listening. “The better you listen, the luckier you get”, says
KEVIN J. MURPHY, a U.S. Management consultant. We are blessed
with two ears and one mouth (or shall we say one tongue) - a constant
reminder that we should listen twice as much as we talk. The most
common complaint is “He (or she) doesn’t listen to me”. Whether it is
officer to subordinate or subordinate to officer, all have the same
complaint. We seldom listen half of what is said and we may not be fully
attentive to the other half.
 DISTORTIONS IN LISTENING:
The exercise that you have participated in a game where one person
whispers two or three sentences to the next person standing in a line. In
the end the message barely resembles the original thought. It produces
much fun and enjoyment among participants besides being an effective
learning lesson. Not listening properly can result in a disaster.

A survey carried out amongst top executives of United States attending a

seminar on listening had three typical answers: “Frankly, I had never
thought of listening as an important subject by itself”, “Now I realise that
many of the troubles in my company have resulted from someone not
hearing something or getting it in a distorted way”, “We seem to have
inadvertently overlooked listening as a facet of communication. It is the
most important link but obviously the weakest one”.
 LISTENING IS LEAST TAUGHT:

Perhaps the biggest oversight has been the least attention

paid to listening in our classroom instructions. Our primary
attention has been on reading and writing. Very little
emphasis is paid on speaking and almost no attention to
skills of listening. This is strange because there is so much
lecturing in colleges and schools. The only training listening
has been in the form of admonitions or commands: “Listen”
or “Listen carefully”.
 THE TWO-WAY COMMUNICATION

Even in countries like United Kingdom and United States of America, teaching
listening skills has assumed significance only in the last four or five decades.
In India such a realization has yet to take a shape although many multinational
and progressive companies have recently started training programmes in
listening skills. As LEE IACOCCA, Chairman and CEO, Chrysler Corporation
in his autobiography says, “Listening is one skill that can make the difference
between a normal company and a good company”. Globalisation, market
competition, and the advent of faster electronic and computer techniques have
made it imperative that we widely spread the message of effective
communication, especially listening skills, in schools, colleges, universities
and all professional sectors including government offices. The art of listening
can be learnt and taught for all age groups, what is needed is practice and will.
 TYPES OF LISTENING
[Link]: Completely not listening to others.
[Link]: Yeah! Right, uh-huh are the some of the expressions of those who
practice pretending.
[Link] LISTENING: Many listeners mistake silence for listening. They steadfastly fix
their eyes on the speaker and try to project themselves as good listeners. In fact they
miss many points.
[Link] LISTENING: A poor listener is a marginal listener. Day dreamers, poor
listening habitués, wandering attention and avoiding understanding of complex points
by finding escape routes are the characteristics of marginal listeners.
[Link] LISTENING: This traps a listener into the temptation of passing hasty
judgments or unfounded evaluations about the speaker.
[Link] LISTENING: Hearing only certain part of the speech / conversation etc,
and think that is important to them.
[Link] LISTENING: Paying attention and focusing energy on the words that
are being said. It is a process to observe and understand what is said and to assimilate
the viewpoint of the speaker. This type is more useful in solving complex problems.
[Link] OR ACTIVE LISTENING: This is the highest from of listening. This
listening with intent to understand. The understanding of speakers frame of mind, their
paradigm and understand how they feel. This type of listeners practices a lot of mental
paraphrasing.
 BENEFITS OF BEING A GOOD LISTENER
1. When you listen to the other person with full attention, it shows that you
are giving respect to the person. By giving the person respect, you gain
his respect and love.
2. The other guy in turn will listen carefully to what you have got to say.
3. Listening skills will help you in knowing more about the person which can
be helpful in your professional life as well as personal life.
4. By knowing more about the other person, you increase your chances of
making friends with him/her. You endear yourself in their eyes.
5. You can improve relationships with people by being a good and
sympathetic listener to their concerns and problems.
• 6. Listening skills help in improving conversation skills, and you can avoid
many confusions, misunderstandings and conflicts,
If only you develop the willingness to lend more attentive ears to the
speaker. In a nut shell listening: 1. Helps in creating happy work
environment, 2. Reduces tensions and hostilities, 3. Saves time, 4.
Improves management - employee relations, 5. Early problem solving, 6.
Increases output productivity
 TIPS TO BECOME A GOOD LISTENER
1. Be willing to become a good listener: Develop the willingness. If you are
not willing to do something you will not make the effort. In order to develop
willingness, understand the benefits of becoming a good listener.
2. Respect the other person: Unless you respect the other person, you will be
unwilling to lend an attentive ear to him/her. In addition to respect, also try
to develop genuine interest and liking for people. This will add warmth to
your interactions with them.
3. Focus completely on the speaker: Focus on the speaker and what is being
said rather than thinking or composing your own reply, otherwise you will
miss many of the things the speaker is saying.
4. Face the speaker, nod your head and provide visual cues that you are
paying attention to him/her.
5. Don’t interrupt: Let the speaker finish his statement before you reply. If
you want to interrupt the speaker or raise a point, be patient till you get a
chance.
6. Give oral encouragements like "I see", "I understand", "I agree" etc.
which will send signals to the speaker that you are really listening to him
or her.
7. Occasionally summarize and repeat back in your own words what you understand
of what they’re saying so that they know you’re hearing them and also to prevent
any misunderstandings and confusion.
8. If you wish to remember a certain piece of information which the speaker is saying,
repeat it back immediately and aloud. Then, as soon as it’s convenient, write down
that information which you want to remember.
9. While at a meeting or conference, take notes. This will help you in remembering
key information. The notes can also be helpful for discussions at that meeting.
10. Even if the speaker becomes silent for some time or is thinking of something, don’t
try to rush and fill up the silence. Give the speaker a chance to compose the
thought.
11. Ask questions: Asking questions is a very effective way of showing that you are
paying attention. Give him/her chance to respond to one question before throwing
another one at him/her.
12. Try to be relaxed: Whether you are standing or sitting, try to be relaxed and
comfortable so that you can pay better attention to the speaker. If you feel
discomfort, then it is likely to distract your attention.
13. Give proper feedback: People sometimes would be interested in your opinion
about a topic. Provide an honest feedback.
14. Develop interest in the other person: By becoming curious about the other
person, you will find that most of the above mentioned listening tips come
automatically to you.
 WHEN SHOULD YOU STOP LISTENING?
You also need to know when to stop listening. Having good listening skills
does not mean that you allow others to waste too much of your time, or
encourage them to indulge in useless gossip, running down other
people or complaining of life's problems etc. You have to know when to
stop encouraging the person if he/she crosses reasonable limits.

Conclusion:- Most successful leaders and managers listen. Many qualities

can take you to the pinnacle of your profession. But what can “keep” you
there is effective Listening. “The better you listen, the luckier you get”
says Kevin S.M, a U.S management Consultant. According to him,
listening is the accurate perception of what is being communicated and
an open mind is therefore the key to communication. We are blessed
with two ears and one mouth - a constant reminder that we should listen
twice as much as we talk.