Counseling Skills

Module I
 Rogers, (1952) Counselling is “the process by which the
structure of the self is relaxed in the safety of the clients
relationship with the therapist and previous experiences are
perceived and then integrated into an altered self” -Carl Rogers

Psychotherapy: any psychological service provided

by a trained professional that primarily uses forms of
communication and interaction to assess, diagnose,
and treat dysfunctional emotional reactions, ways of
thinking, and behavior patterns.

 Guidance: Advice or information aimed at resolving a problem or

difficulty, especially as given by someone in authority. (Oxford
Dictionary)
 The Meaning of Counseling

Psychotherapy : any psychological service provided by a trained

professional that primarily uses forms of communication and
interaction to assess, diagnose, and treat dysfunctional
emotional reactions, ways of thinking, and behavior patterns.

A relationship in which one of the parties has the

intent of promoting the growth, development,
maturity and improved functioning of the other
 The Nature of Counseling
Ford and Urban in their book entitled Systems of Psychotherapy (1963);
cited four natures of counseling. These are as follows:

 1. Counseling involves two people in interaction, a generic term for the exchange of
meanings between people which includes the direct communication of talking and
listening as well as gestures, glances, nods or shakes of the head, frowns, and other
non-verbal features by which meaning is transmitted from one person to another. The
interaction is highly confidential, and since counselee discuss themselves in an intimate
fashion, it is highly private and unobserved by others.

 2. The mode of interaction is usually limited to the verbal realm; the counselor and
counselee talk with one another. Counselees talk about themselves, their thoughts,
feelings, and actions. They describe events. The counselor listens and responds in
some fashion to what the counselee says to provoke further responses. The two think,
talk, and share their ideas.
 3. The interaction is relatively prolonged since alteration of behavior takes time.
In contrast to a brief conversation with friend in which distortions or
unconscious desires are usually maintained and usually only temporary relief is
gained,
counseling has its goal, the change of behavior. It is assumed that through the
counseling interaction, the counselee will in time revise his distortions and alter
his behavior.

 [Link] purpose of the relationship is change of behavior of the counselee. The

counselor focuses the interaction upon the counselee. Counselees need not to
be concerned about the happiness of the counselor but must devote their
energies to
changing themselves.

Ford and Urban’s four major points highlight the fact that
counseling is a collaborative relationship that permits counselees to freely
express and explore themselves and the issues which are of concern to them.
 Purposes of Counseling
1. To give the client information on matters important to his adjustment and growth;
2. To get information about the student which will be of help to him in solving
his problems;
3. To establish a feeling of mutual understanding between pupil and teacher;
4. To help the pupil work out a plan for solving his difficulties;
5. To help the pupil know himself better, his interests, abilities, aptitudes and
available opportunities;
6. To encourage special talents and develop right attitudes;
7. To inspire successful endeavor toward he attainment or realization of
objectives;
8. To assist the pupil in planning for his educational and vocational choices
– formulating plans for vocations, making surveys of employment opportunities,
administering vocational or aptitude test, gathering cumulative occupational
information, following-up pupils for placement and sponsoring convocations,
programs, and career day seminars.
 Essential Elements of Counseling

Process
Downing (1965) enumerated eight (8) essentials to the counseling process as
follows:
1. Anticipating the interview.
2. Developing a positive working
relationship.
3. Exploring feelings and attitudes
4. Reviewing and determining present
status.
5. Considering existing problems.
6. Exploring alternatives.
7. Making decision.
8. Post counseling contact.
 Ethical Standards in Counseling
1. Counselors concern is always the welfare of the client.

2. The counselor should be competent enough to serve the

client. He/She should have the necessary skills and training.

3. The confidentiality of the cases should always be observed.

Cases on suicide, crimes committed, addiction and anything
that pertains to threat to life may violate confidentiality policy.

4. There should be a record or file for every client and every

significant things said in the counseling sessions or every
important datum like test results should be recorded.
 Types of Counseling
Directive or Clinical Counseling
 this type of counseling allows the counselor to give the counselee
information about himself, his opportunities, his problems.

Non-Directive Counseling
 this is also known as client-centered counseling.

Eclectic Counseling
 this is the merger of both directive and non-directive counseling. The counselor
should be competent and proficient in incorporating this method so that a happy
medium can be affected. (Thorns)
 Counseling psychology
• A general practice and health service provider specialty in professional
psychology.

• Focuses on how people function both personally and in their

relationships at all ages.

• Addresses the emotional, social, work, school and physical health

concerns people may have at different stages in their lives, focusing on
typical life stresses and more severe issues with which people may
struggle as individuals and as a part of families, groups and
organizations.

• Counseling psychologists help people with physical, emotional and

mental health issues improve their sense of well‐being, alleviate
feelings of distress and resolve crises.

• They also provide assessment, diagnosis, and treatment of more

severe psychological symptoms.
• According to Willey and Andrew Counseling involves two individuals;
one seeking help and other a professionally trained person who help
solve problems to orient and direct him towards a goals.

• Counseling services are therefore required for individuals having

developmental problems.

• Generally such cases are only about five to seven percent in a

population and therefore counseling is required only for such a small
number. Counseling involves a lot of time for the client to unfold the
problem, gain an insight in to the complex situation.

• Counseling techniques involve active listening, emphatic under

standing, releasing the pent up feelings confronting the client and so on
counseling there fore is offered to only those individuals who are under
serious problem and need professional help to overcome it.
 Counseling Relationship

The interplay between therapist and the person wherein

the union is of a professional nature, but also marked by
empathy, understanding, and validity, with the therapist
bringing along expert training, skills, and individual
knowledge to apply to any issues the patient might have.

Examples: “ The counseling relationship between the

client and her therapist had grown quite close over the
years and she was saddened to be moving away."
Therapeutic Relationship
The union shaped within therapy between a psychotherapy professional and the
patient receiving therapy.

There has been a great deal of theory and research regarding this interaction: how
it varies and alterations over time and the substantial implications that the dynamic
has for the manner in which remediation is given and its results.

The union has ethical dimensions which are frequently established in practice
guidelines.

THERAPIST-PATIENT RELATIONSHIP: "A healthy therapist-patient relationship is

essential for positive results."
Boundary Issues
In therapy and health care, refers to ethical issues which surround the
relationship between a therapist and a patient.

Ideally, boundaries set limits not only on their areas for discussion but also
on their physical distance.

A boundary sees to it that issues on trust and vulnerability are not violated.

BOUNDARY ISSUES: "In a therapist-patient relationship, boundary issues

arise when either or both parties cross the line from professional to
personal."
Active Listening
A psychotherapeutic approach that occurs when the professional listens to a
patient meticulously and diligently, inquiring as required, in an effort to
completely comprehend the matter related with the message and the level of
the patient's feelings.

The professional usually repeats whatever the patient has stated to guarantee
the patient that they have been comprehended.

Active listening is used commonly in conjunction with client-centered therapy

practices.

ACTIVE LISTENING: "Active listening is one of the most common approaches

to therapy by a professional."
How to Build a Trusting Counselor Patient Relationship

• The fundamental goal of counseling is to help individuals who are

experiencing personal challenges be able to resolve them and
improve their emotional well-being.

• Establishing an open and trustworthy relationship with your

patients creates the foundation for how they’ll most effectively
reach their goals, and it’s also a significant measure of your
therapy’s success.

Building genuine connections from a trusting counselor patient

relationship is possible when these factors exist:
1) When one is empathetic.

People who choose counseling as a career path are usually

empathetic by nature. It’s widely said that empathy is the key
emotion one must possess to make a good counselor. An
abundance of sensitive emotions will be brought forward during the
counseling process, and it’s the counselor’s job to help their clients
feel understood and respected. But an effective relationship also
involves a reasonable balance of emotions.
The focus is on the patient.
Counseling requires a great deal of listening—it’s how therapy works: they talk, you listen. It’s your
job to stay focused and give each patient the full attention they need, and you need, in order to gain
insight to make an accurate assessment, and ultimately develop a suitable therapy plan.

Objectives are set.

After you’ve listened to your client share their story, and taken good notes, the next step is to
establish clear objectives, based on the specific issues and needs of your client. By communicating a
defined set of objectives, with milestones along the way, you’re helping your client feel hopeful their
issues can come to resolution.

Practicing unconditional positive regard in your therapy.

It’s a notion that allows your patients to open up and be forthcoming in their feelings, and honest
about actions that may have called them to seek counseling. If your patient feels you are judging
them in a negative manner based on what they have shared and revealed, the opposite effect will
ensue.

Preparedness.
A good counselor will prepare for each session by reviewing notes from previous sessions and
developing a strategy, based on research and proven counseling practices, for each patient’s goals.
Good counselors also know that continued education and research play a significant role in
developing their knowledge, and that’s what makes good counselors great ones.
The patient and flexible.
In reality, the client sets the pace in how they accept and apply the counseling they are receiving.
This requires patience and flexibility. Goals may be tied to a timeline, but depending on how slowly
(or quickly) a client progresses, you may choose to modify a given therapy and change course.

There’s no coddling.
Your job is to help your client overcome and manage their troubles and anxieties, but coddling your
client only slows down the process. Progress will come at a pace your client is comfortable with,
and sometimes it won’t come without a little push. Each session should end with a takeaway—an
“assignment” for your client to put to work in their life as a step closer toward their goal.

Therapist relationship is professional.

Effective counselors establish a clear boundary between being friendly in nature, and having a
“friendship.” Crossing that boundary can have serious implications on a therapy’s effectiveness, and
in some cases can result in an ethics complaint against your license.

Therapist is unbiased.
Effective counselors don’t use their personal beliefs or preferences to sway their approach to
counseling—and they’re sensitive to each client’s lifestyle, culture or religious choices, as well. A
good counselor will look for ways to integrate a client’s beliefs into an effective care plan, if and
when it makes sense.
You seek help yourself.
You may not have the expertise to handle every issue of every patient that comes your
way. Your patient is spending good money on counseling services and deserves fairness
and honesty from you. If you feel inadequate about addressing a patient’s issue, seek
consultation from a colleague, or refer your patient to a counselor more qualified to
counsel them.
Proper procedures are followed.
Always obtain the patient’s informed consent before administering treatments and
therapies. It’s often a legal requirement imposed on counselors, and is also a crucial part
of helping prevent malpractice claims against a counselor.

Confidentiality is indisputable.
A counselor always maintains confidentiality—of every patient. While using one client’s
scenario—perhaps to illustrate the success of a therapy being recommended—in
another client’s therapy is acceptable, names and specifics of a client should never be
given.
The best testament to the quality of your counseling will be largely determined by
your patient’s progress and healing.
Your counselor patient relationship also plays a significant part. As sessions progress,
patients should become happier, see things in a new light, approach situations more
positively and be able to help themselves, rather than relying solely on your guidance to
get them through issues that arise. They’ll be able to keep their emotions in check, make
better choices, and be hopeful about the future.
 SHADOW SIDE OF COUNSELLING

These are each descriptions of people who are

not going to be able to engage in or sustain
effective therapeutic relationships.

Someone who is compulsively self-reliant is not

willing to engage in a mutual relationship,
lacking the trust this requires, usually as a
result of early developmental difficulties of
their own (Erikson 1977).

As for emotional defences, we all require these,

indeed anyone whose defences are inadequate
However, as counsellors there are many times when
we have to be able to reach across our own
emotional defences in order to make the relational
contact that counselling requires.

An individual unable to do this will struggle in

relationships generally, tending to seek to control
interactive situations
rather than allowing the natural movement to take
its own course
Some who are seeking such control may feel somewhat trapped
within their own internal prison (Storr 1990).

The third type of person, who has severe narcissistic tendencies,

will also
be unable to effectively engage in relationships in the manner
required in
therapeutic work. Narcissism takes its name from the Greek
myth of Narcissus
(Graves 1960) who became hopelessly lost in the reverie
induced as he
gazed at his own reflection. The term ‘narcissistic’ is used in
somewhat
confusing ways in psychotherapeutic literature (Pulver 1970). I
am using
the term to describe the person who exhibits particularly
impenetrable
defences that are constructed to protect a weak sense of
. In addition I would expect the narcissistic person to have a marked
tendency to self-reference: to process experience with themselves, rather
than others, as the principal if not the only reference point (Jacoby 1990).

We could add a fourth grouping of those who have personal mental health
difficulties that they are not able to identify and contain. It is quite possible
for people with recurring or chronic mental health difficulties, such as
depression, anxiety states, eating disorders, addictions or the milder
psychotic
disorders to function as counsellors.

In order to do so they must know when they are being affected by their
condition and what the impact may be upon their work with clients. They
must also be able to contain this impact effectively; not an easy
undertaking. Those with mental health difficulties
not able to meet these criteria are unlikely to be able to sustain
themselves
as effective counsellors.
 Counsellors Emotional World:

Therapists often encounter experiences in therapy that elicit

emotionality, this could be in the form of self-of-the-therapist issues,
compassion fatigue, or professional burnout. Whereas approaches to
supervision for self of-the-therapist issues recognize the need for
accessing the supervisee’s emotionality, approaches have not focused on
how the clinical and professional system could also be part of the cycle.

We propose an adapted emotionally focused supervision approach that

employs steps one through six of the EFT model. To display how this
approach would work, we provide the example of work with longer-term
clients.

Working with longer-term clients can be a challenge for many therapists,

and both the professional and client system come with factors increasing
emotional risk to the
therapist. Engaging the therapist’s emotionality through supervision has
the potential to improve therapeutic outcomes, as well as reduce loss of
good therapists in the field
 Counsellors Emotional World:

1) Awareness- what, Where, why and What I need.

2) Empathy with awareness

3) Supervision

4) Relaxation
 Counselor as therapeutic helper

A therapeutic person is one who has healing powers, for, as

Carl Jung said, it is the personality of the doctor that has the
curative effect. But why, you might ask, do you use the term
therapeutic? I use the term therapeutic because a good
Counsellor not only must bear the uncertainties and fears of
those who follow but also must help them reach beyond
where they thought they could go.
In this sense, an effective Counsellor treads, albeit lightly, in the realm
of psychotherapy. Hence, because a Counsellor is asking people to
risk a greater personal honesty by looking within, it is critical that the
Counsellor exhibit the courage to search within and hold their own life
open to the same kind of scrutiny that is being asked of their
constituents, all the while knowing that, in moments of weakness, we
have all done things of which we may be ashamed.

Professor Gerald Corey has provided an excellent synopsis of a

therapeutic person in terms of being a psychotherapist. It is with
gratitude and humility that I adapt his synopsis to the realm of
Counsellorship, for they are in many ways one and the same. In this
sense, as Corey says of psychotherapists, Counsellors must
continually ask themselves: What do I personally have to offer those
who are struggling to find their way. Am I living my life honestly, freely,
and boldly as I am urging others to do?
There are two central questions tied to a Counsellor’s personhood:
(1) How can a Counsellor be a therapeutic person? and (2) How can a Counsellor
be an instrument of awareness and growth for those who follow? Here I return
to the notion of a Counsellor as a public example whose life, as Mahatma
Gandhi once said of his own life, is their message.

(2) Counsellors can acquire extensive theoretical and practical knowledge and make
that knowledge available to their constituents. But until that knowledge is integrated
into one’s real life as a Counsellor, it is seldom, if ever, inspirational because, in the
end, a person always brings themself as an example before their constituents,
wrapped in their own qualities and the life experiences. This is a critical concept
because a true Counsellor must, above all else, inspire others to follow the noble
path of service to all citizens—present and future.
If, therefore, Counsellors are going to promote inner growth and change in their
constituents, they must be at least equally willing to grow and change within by
exploring their own choices and decisions and by striving to always be aware of,
accept, and act on their own potential for growth. Their willingness to live in
accordance with their own truths and to set an example of those truths by how they
live is the positive model that makes effective Counsellors “therapeutic persons” for
their followers.
1.I must find my own way in that I can only lead effectively, where I have
personally traveled. In so doing, I am in the process of developing a style of
Counsellors that is uniquely mine and consciously reflects both my philosophy
of life and style of living. Although I must, of necessity, be a sifter who borrows
ideas from others, I remain true to myself in how I apply that which I borrow.

2. I respect myself and appreciate both what I am and what I am consciously

becoming. I can give out of my own authenticity, rather than seeking a false
sense of fulfillment from others. I have the humility to ask of, to be needed by,
and to receive from others without isolating myself as a means of control.

3. I am comfortable with my own sense of personal power and am secure

enough to allow other people to also be comfortable with their own sense of
power. Hence, there is no need for me to diminish others or encourage them to
maintain a subordinate stance. I consciously use my power with respect as a
healthy model for those who follow.
4. I not only am in touch with myself and open to change but also am
willing to take calculated risks. Rather than settling for less or that
which is comfortable, I am willing to plunge into the unknown, where I
find within my uncertainties my own untapped potentials.

5. I strive to continuously expand my awareness of others and myself,

realizing that limited freedom comes with limited awareness and vice
versa. To enrich my own life and thus the lives of others, I direct my
energy toward new experiences that will in turn expand my awareness
of cause and effect and hence improve all of my myriad relationships.

6. I am both willing and able to accept ambiguity because personal

growth means leaving the perceived safety of the familiar for the
uncertainty of the unknown. I know that the price of entering an
unknown territory is a degree of ambiguity in life. But instead of
perceiving it as a threat to my existence, I view it as a hidden potential
to which I am inextricably drawn. And as I learn increasingly to trust
myself and my intuition, I become increasingly trustworthy to others.
7. I have a personal identity in that I know what I am, what I am capable of
becoming, what I want from life, and what is essential. I am willing to
reexamine my values continuously and consciously and strive to get in touch
and stay in touch with my inner core and live from the authenticity of my own
center. My standards are internalized, and I have the courage to act in a way
that is consistent with my own belief. I know the only way to communicate
my inner truth is to live that truth.

8. I am consciously aware of my own struggles and pain from which I gain a

frame of reference that allows me to identify with others while maintaining
my own identity. Put differently, I do not get mired in someone else’s
emotional quicksand.

9. I am committed to living life to the fullest and best, and I refuse to settle for
mere existence. As Winston Churchill once said about the road to success, I
go from “failure to failure with enthusiasm”—always recognizing that success
and failure are interpretations of an event, and not the event itself.
10. I am authentic and refuse to hide behind masks of persona, sterile
roles, or facades. I will risk instead being genuine.

11. I am able to give and receive love from the fullness of my soul. I am
thus vulnerable to those I love and have the capacity to care for others.

12. Recognizing that shame can only live in the past and fear can only live
in the future, I choose to live in the present, where there is neither shame
nor fear. I choose the eternal now and invite others to join me.

13. Although I make mistakes like everyone else, I willingly admit them. I do
not lightly dismiss my errors, but choose instead to learn from them rather
than be encumbered with pointless misery.

14. My “work” is a labor of love and a way of living. Although I find deep,
spiritual meaning in the work I do, I am not enslaved by it for my identity.
My work is coupled with other dimensions in life, which collectively provide
me with a sense of purpose and fulfillment.
15. Unbound by my past ways of being, I am constantly changing as I struggle
to become that which I want to be. In so doing, I am constantly revitalizing and
recreating significant relationships.
16. Being open to my own emotional experiences, I can be emotionally
present for others in their joy or pain.

17. Aware that I have no choice but to make choices that shape my life, I am
not a victim of my past decisions because I know that if I err I can always
choose to choose again, and yet again if need be.

18. I openly challenge unreasonable assumptions and self-destructive beliefs

and attitudes, rather than submit to them. Being thus engaged, I do not
needlessly limit myself with negative self-talk.

19. I know that in the end all I have to give of real value is my love, trust,
respect, and the benefit of my experiences. I am also aware that people do
not care about how much I know as a Counsellor, until they know how much I
care about them. Someone once said that soldiers will follow a Counsellor
whom they know is willing to die for them if need be. This is the kind of caring
that really counts.
20. I know that choice is the root of all human relationships and that choice
(both conscious and unconscious) directs the outcome of all such
relationships. I understand that choice is the cause of an effect and am thus
careful to choose wisely for all concerned—present and future.

As Corey himself indicated, this snapshot of a Counsellor might appear

unrealistic. After all, who can be all these things? Again, I point out that
these are characteristics of Counsellorship to strive for as you reach to
become more of your potential self. As a Chinese proverb points out: Even
the journey of a thousand miles must begin with a single step.

I emphasize the word “strive” because, as Jungian analyst Eleanor Bertine

says of human relationships: “Acceptance means taking the other person as
[they are], without reservation,” which includes your own relationship with
yourself. She goes on to say that people often remark they like this but not
that about so-and-so. Such an attitude reflects your own biases concerning
the “assets and liabilities” of the other person, which, according to Bertine,
is not love. Love, is unconditional acceptance of all virtues and faults.
 Non verbal Skills to Manage Anger

1. Facial expression is very important. A relaxed, concerned expression is

usually the best for conflict resolution. When you frown or look angry
yourself, you're just feeding the problem. It's probably not good to smile too
much, because this might make your client think you're not taking them
seriously. Try matching the client's facial expression a little bit, then adding
your own relaxed, concerned look. This form of nonverbal communication
lets them know you're connected and you care.

2. Your orientation--the way you're facing is a lot more important than you
might think. Your choices of orientation are either face to face or side by
side. If you're face to face, try to get on the client's eye-level so you're not
looking down on them--or up to them, if they're taller than you! Side by
side orientation means just sitting or standing by their side, maybe with
your arm around their shoulder if it feels like that would help. Let's look at
the pluses and minuses of these two different orientations:
Face to face is good because:

 You can easily have eye contact. Eye contact is sometimes absolutely
necessary and sometimes not. Use your gut feeling to decide.
 You can read each other's nonverbal communication signals better if you're face to
face. These signals help you know how to respond so your client knows you care
and want to help.
 Face to face is more of an authoritative stance, which may or may not be what
you're wanting to communicate, according to the situation and the needs of the
client. If you're feeling strong and confident as you face them, it lets the adolescent
know you're in charge of the situation. As a general rule, it is essential that you
send the message that you're in charge. clients are still minors, and they're not
ready to be in charge of adults or even completely in charge of themselves. If you
give them too much power, it hurts them and that hurts you too. If you don't give
them enough power, that is harmful in a different way. Good parenting is a
major balancing act, and I think you're up to the challenge! Get counseling or
coaching help with your nonverbal communication and parenting skills here.
Side by side is good because:

 It gives the message, "We're both going in the same direction. We're in this
together. I can see your viewpoint and I understand."
 This is especially good if the client is very upset and becoming aggressive.
Side by side is less confrontive than face to face, and again it gives the
nonverbal communication message that you're connected with them on their
journey to conflict resolution.
 The side by side orientation also gives you the chance to touch the
adolescent in an innocuous, non-threatening way. At the very least, you
can have a slight shoulder-to-shoulder contact, and if you feel it is
appropriate, you can put your arm around the client in a relaxed, easy
manner.

3, Proximity, or how close you are, can make a huge difference in the
comfort level of the client in nonverbal communication. Read their body
language and facial expression to find the right amount of closeness or
distance. You can make subtle adjustments in this by leaning back and
leaning forward, if you're sitting close by.

You really have to be clear within yourself to master nonverbal

communication--for example, sometimes leaning toward the client will show
interest and concern, while other times it will feel too pushy or too needy.
Tricky business for anybody, but if you have a lot of emotional issues of your
own, it's virtually impossible. You might want to listen to this program to learn
more about being personally clear and resolving your own emotional
issues.
4. The power of your touch cannot be overstated here. This is, of course,
a very "touchy" subject, in every meaning of the word. There are safest
forms of touch, and then other forms that are a little more risky that should
be used with a lot of forethought and care. There are so many ways that you
as an adult can unconsciously violate the emotional and/or sexual
boundaries of adolescents--and the best way to avoid that is to focus on
safe and appropriate forms of touch. Let's look at some of these different
kinds of touch:

Safest forms of touch, that can be used pretty comfortably with both
genders, all ages, and in almost any situation:

 Handshakes. The good old reliable handshake is worth its weight in

gold, because no one is likely to misinterpret it in any way. I encourage
you to use the handshake frequently and confidently, when
the relationship seems too new or uncertain for any other kind of
contact. This form of nonverbal communication with an angry client sends
a powerful message of, "I'm here, I see you, and I am available." It is
almost always better than no touch at all!
Gestures are very powerful forms of nonverbal communication, and can
work for you or against you in helping clients with anger control. Rapid,
aggressive movements will certainly aggravate your client's anger, and
certain hand gestures will set them off for sure. Making a fist, for example, is
always perceived as an aggressive form of nonverbal communication.

Leaning toward the client while face to face during a confrontation can also
aggravate the situation. Remember, you want to make things better, not
worse. We would need a video to give a full description of all of the positive
and negative gestures, so for now let's just say your primary goal is to
show respect for the client, while also maintaining your authority as
teacher, parent, counselor, or supervisors.
Core Counselling Skills
Core listening skills are basic counselling skills, or practiced techniques, that help
the counsellor to empathetically listen to the speaker.
Skills include:
 active listening
 being aware of nonverbal communication
 building rapport
The core counselling skills are described below.

1. Attending
Attending in counselling means being in the company of someone else and giving
that person your full attention, to what they are saying or doing, valuing them as
worthy individuals.

2.
Silence
Silence in counselling gives the client control of the content, pace and
objectives.
This includes the counsellor listening to silences as well as words, sitting
with them and recognising that the silences may facilitate the counselling
process.

3. Reflecting and Paraphrasing

Reflecting in counselling is part of the ‘art of listening’. It is making sure
that the client knows their story is being listened to.
This is achieved by the helper/counsellor by both repeating and feeding a
shorter version of their story back to the client. This known as
'paraphrasing'.

4.
Clarifying and the Use of Questions
Questions in counselling are classed as a basic skill. The counsellor uses open
questions to clarify his or her understanding of what the client is feeling.
Leading questions are to be avoided as they can impair the counselling
relationship.

5. Focusing/Concreteness
Focusing in counselling involves making decisions about what issues the client
wants to deal with.
The client may have mentioned a range of issues and problems and focusing allows
the counsellor and client together to clear away some of the less important
surrounding material and concentrate on the central issues of concern.

6. Building Rapport
Building rapport with clients in counselling is important, whatever model of
counselling the counsellor is working with.
Rapport means a sense of having a connection with the person.
7. Immediacy
Using immediacy means that the therapist reveals how they themselves are feeling
in response to the client.
According to Feltham and Dryden (1993: 88), immediacy is ‘the key skill of
focusing attention on the here and now relationship of counsellor and client with
helpful timing, in order to challenge defensiveness and/or heighten awareness’.
How to Use Effective Counselling Skills

a. Be genuine.
If you don't understand, it's OK to check and ask for further information.

b. Try to be brief when reflecting back.

The speaker should do most of the talking.

c. Use your own words to reflect back.

To avoid sounding like a parrot, it's better to use your own words when
summarising or paraphrasing.

d. Avoid using a shocked or disbelieving tone of voice.

This may indicate that the speaker is unacceptable or odd
IDENTIFYING AUTOMATIC THOUGHTS
TECHNIQUES TO ELICIT AUTOMATIC THOUGHTS

Basic question: What was going through your mind just then?
To identify automatic thoughts:

1. Ask this question when you notice a shift in (or intensification of) affec
during a session.
2. Have the patient describe a problematic situation or a time during
which she experienced an affect shift and ask the above question.
3. If needed, have the patient use imagery to describe the specific
situation or time in detail (as if it is happening now) and then ask the
above question.
4. If needed or desired, have the patient role-play a specific interaction
with you and then ask the above question.
Contd….
TECHNIQUES TO ELICIT AUTOMATIC
THOUGHTS
Other questions to elicit automatic thoughts:

1. What do you guess you were thinking about?

2. Do you think you could have been thinking about _______ or
______? (Therapist provides a couple of plausible possibilities.)
3. Were you imagining something that might happen or
remembering something that did?
4. What did this situation mean to you? (Or say about you?)
5. Were you thinking ______? (Therapist provides a thought
opposite to the expected response.)
IDENTIFYING NEGATIVE EMOTIONS

Sad, down, lonely, unhappy

Anxious, worried, fearful, scared, tense
Angry, mad, irritated, annoyed
Ashamed, embarrassed, humiliated
Disappointed
Jealous, envious
Guilty
Hurt
Suspicious
RATING 0% Not sad at all
25% Somewhat sad
50% Medium sad
75% Quite sad
100% Saddest I have been or could imagine being
EVALUATING NEGATIVE
THOUGHTS
 DECIDING WHETHER TO FOCUS ON AN
AUTOMATIC THOUGHT
1. Focus on the automatic thought. (“How much do you/did you
believe this thought?”

2. Find out more about the situation associated with the

automatic thought.

3. How often do you have this kind of thought?” “In what

situations?” “How much does this kind of thought bother you?”

4. Identify other automatic thoughts and images in this same

situation. (“Anything else go through your mind?” “Any images or
pictures?”)
Contd..
DECIDING WHETHER TO FOCUS ON AN
AUTOMATIC THOUGHT

5. Do problem-solving about the situation associated with the

automatic thought. (“What are some things you could do about
this?” “How have you handled this kind of thing before?” “What
do you wish you could do?”).

6. Explore the belief underlying the automatic thought. (“If this

thought is true, what would it mean to you?”).

7. Move on to another topic. (“Okay. I think I understand that.

Can you tell me what else happened this week?”)
 DECIDING WHICH AUTOMATIC THOUGHT TO CHOOSE

1. How much do you believe this thought now (0–100%)?

2. How does this thought make you feel (emotionally)?

3. How strong (0–100%) is [this emotion]?

RECORDING AUTOMATIC THOUGHTS

Date/time Situation

Automatic thought(s)

Emotion(s)

Outcome
Hierarchy of beliefs and automatic thoughts
COGNITIVE CONCPTUALIZING DIAGRAM
TYPES OF DYSFUNCTIONAL BELIEFS
Helpless core beliefs

I am helpless. I am inadequate.
I am powerless. I am ineffective.
I am out of control. I am incompetent.
I am weak. I am a failure.
I am vulnerable. I am disrespected.
I am needy. I am defective ( I do not measure up to others).
I am trapped. I am not good enough(in terms of achievement).

Unlovable core beliefs

I am unlovable. I am unworthy.
I am unlikable. I am different.
I am undesirable. I am defective (i.e., so others will not
love me).
I am unattractive. I am not good enough (to be loved by
others).
I am unwanted. I am bound to be rejected.
I am uncared for. I am bound to be abandoned.
I am bad. I am bound to be alone.