Chapter 4

Describing with Space Order

 OBJECTIVES
In this chapter, you will learn to:

• Organize a descriptive paragraph using

space order
• Develop a description with specific details
• Identify adjectives and use them in the
correct order
• Vary the structure of sentences with
prepositional phrases
• Write, revise and edit a descriptive
paragraph
What are descriptive paragraphs?

Descriptive paragraphs are paragraphs that tell what something

looks like. They describe a person, a place or a thing. The
writer gives detailed information to allow the reader to form a
clear image in his or her imagination - the better the
description, the clearer the image.

A good description gives a word picture (a vivid description in

writing).

Good descriptive paragraphs appeal to the senses: sight, smell,

sound, taste and touch.
What a descriptive paragraph looks like

Topic Sentence
Our general impression (positive or negative)

Supporting Sentences
Details (sight, smell,
Location of objects
sound, touch, taste) + adj

Concluding Sentence
Repetition of impression in TS
 The Stairway
When I was two or three years old, I lived in a house that had a strange atmosphere. I do not remember anything about
the house except the stairway. It was dark, squeaking, and quite narrow, and its steps were a little high for me to climb
up. From the bottom of the stairway, it seemed like an endless climb to the top. Beyond the darkness at the top of the
stairway, there was an elegant, middle-aged lady leaning against the wall. I had to pass her every time I went to my
room, for my room was the first room beyond the stairs on the second floor. The lady wore a beautiful dress with a
quiet pattern and a tinge of blue, and her peaceful eyes stared at me every time I went up the stairs. As I carefully
climbed up the last step, her eyes became fixed on me. She didn’t talk, nor did she move. She just stood there and
watched me clamber up the stairs. One day I touched her, but she did not react. Her face did not change expression,
nor did she even blink. She just kept staring at me with her glittering eyes. Later, we moved out of the house, and I
never saw her again. Now I know that the lady was a mannequin. My aunt, who lived in the house, used it for her
dressmaking class. I did not know my mother. Maybe I imagined that the mannequin standing at the top of the stairs
was my mother. The stairway with the strange atmosphere has an important place in my earliest memories.
 The Stairway
When I was two or three years old, I lived in a house that had a strange atmosphere. I do not remember anything about
the house except the stairway. It was dark, squeaking, and quite narrow, and its steps were a little high for me to climb
up. From the bottom of the stairway, it seemed like an endless climb to the top. Beyond the darkness at the top of the
stairway, there was an elegant, middle-aged lady leaning against the wall. I had to pass her every time I went to my
room, for my room was the first room beyond the stairs on the second floor. The lady wore a beautiful dress with a
quiet pattern and a tinge of blue, and her peaceful eyes stared at me every time I went up the stairs. As I carefully
climbed up the last step, her eyes became fixed on me. She didn’t talk, nor did she move. She just stood there and
watched me clamber up the stairs. One day I touched her, but she did not react. Her face did not change expression,
nor did she even blink. She just kept staring at me with her glittering eyes. Later, we moved out of the house, and I
never saw her again. Now I know that the lady was a mannequin. My aunt, who lived in the house, used it for her
dressmaking class. I did not know my mother. Maybe I imagined that the mannequin standing at the top of the stairs
was my mother. The stairway with the strange atmosphere has an important place in my earliest memories.
 The Stairway
When I was two or three years old, I lived in a house that had a strange atmosphere. I do not remember anything about
the house except the stairway. It was dark, squeaking, and quite narrow, and its steps were a little high for me to climb
up. From the bottom of the stairway, it seemed like an endless climb to the top. Beyond the darkness at the top of the
stairway, there was an elegant, middle-aged lady leaning against the wall. I had to pass her every time I went to my
room, for my room was the first room beyond the stairs on the second floor. The lady wore a beautiful dress with a
quiet pattern and a tinge of blue, and her peaceful eyes stared at me every time I went up the stairs. As I carefully
climbed up the last step, her eyes became fixed on me. She didn’t talk, nor did she move. She just stood there and
watched me clamber up the stairs. One day I touched her, but she did not react. Her face did not change expression,
nor did she even blink. She just kept staring at me with her glittering eyes. Later, we moved out of the house, and I
never saw her again. Now I know that the lady was a mannequin. My aunt, who lived in the house, used it for her
dressmaking class. I did not know my mother. Maybe I imagined that the mannequin standing at the top of the stairs
was my mother. The stairway with the strange atmosphere has an important place in my earliest memories.
Using listing to get ideas
Work with a partner. Is the meaning of each adjective positive or negative?

Adjectives that describe a person

athletic careful hardworking neat
boring disorganized lazy messy

Adjectives that describe a place

clean dark small sunny
cluttered messy spacious tidy
 Look at the pictures. What kind of person do you think lives or works in each place? What general
impression does each room create? Use the words from Part A to fill in the first two lines under each
picture.

messy, athletic, lazy

Kind of person who lives here: _______________ hardworking
organized,
Kind of person who lives here: _______________
small, sunny
General impression of room: ________________ dark, small, tidy
General impression of room: ________________
Look at the words above pictures 1 and 2. Locate the nouns in each picture. Then use the words in
the boxes to list as many details as you can.
Nouns
bed comforter curtain laptop speakers
on the left/right (side of the room)
bookshelves corkboard lamp pillows whiteboard

On the right
Prepositions

On the left
room
in front of next to on the left/right to the left/right of under desk
window

To the left/ right of

To the left To the right

of the lamp of the lamp
Look at the words above pictures 1 and 2. locate the nouns in each picture. Then use the words in the
boxes to list as many details as you can.
Nouns Details:
bed comforter curtain laptop speakers bed next to the window
bookshelves corkboard lamp pillows whiteboard comforter, pillows on unmade bed
Prepositions
_______________________
Large window on the right
in front of next to on the left/right to the left/right of under
_______________________
Unmade bed under the window
_______________________
Corkboard above the bed

_______________________
Two bookshelves above the corkboard

_______________________
Open laptop and speakers on desk

_______________________
Chair in front of the desk
_______________________
Soccer ball under the desk

_______________________
Socks under the desk
Nouns
armchairs desk diplomas nameplate pitcher
bookcase desk chair figurine pen set portrait
In front
cabinet desk pad lamp photos rug of the
Prepositions house
against behind In front of next to to the left/right under

At the
front of
the
house
Nouns Details:
armchairs desk diplomas nameplate pitcher
Bookcase against the wall
________________________________
bookcase desk chair figurine pen set portrait
Portrait and diplomas on the wall
________________________________
cabinet desk pad lamp photos rug
Table between armchairs
________________________________
Prepositions
against behind In front of next to to the left/right under Desk in front of the cabinet
________________________________

A pitcher and two glasses on the table

________________________________

Two armchairs in front of the desk

________________________________

Nameplate on the desk

________________________________

Rug on the floor

________________________________

________________________________

________________________________

________________________________
 Organization of Descriptive Paragraphs

There are two keys to writing a good description:

 Using supporting sentences with specific detail to help your reader visualize what
you are describing.
 Using space order to organize your ideas.
Space Order
Examples of correct use of space order
Example of lack of use of space order
 2 4

5 1

3
Space order

Imagine that you are standing in the doorway of your classroom. How would you describe the
room to someone who has never seen it? In what order would you describe the things you see?
Here are some possibilities:

 Clockwise: you might start your description at the doorway and work your way around the
room in a clockwise direction until you reach the doorway again.
 Front to back: you might start your description at the front of the room and go from front
to back, first describing the chalkboard or whiteboard, the teacher’s desk, and the area
around the teacher’s desk. Then you might describe the students’ desks in the center of the
room, and finally the walls and/or windows at the back and sides of the room.

These two ways of orgaizing a description are common types of space order. When
your description moves through a space in a clear direction, it helps the reader
imagine what you are describing. Other possibilities include:

top to bottom far to near right to left outside to inside

bottom to top near to far left to right inside to outside
Looking at the Model

The writing model describes a lecture hall at a

community college. As you read, notice how the
writer carefully moves his focus from one location to
another around the room.

Read the model then answer the questions.

Questions about the model

1. Does the topic sentence

create a positive or negative
impression of the lecture
hall?
2. Which space order does the
writer use to describe the
lecture hall: clockwise, front
to back, back to front, or top
to bottom?
3. The writer describes three
main areas of the lecture
hall. What are they?
Questions about the model

1. Does the topic sentence create a positive or negative impression of

the lecture hall?
It creates a positive impression by using positive descriptive
adjectives: beautiful, spacious, modern and comfortable.

2. Which space order does the writer use to describe the lecture hall:
clockwise, front to back, back to front, or top to bottom?
The space order is front to back.

3. The writer describes three main areas of the lecture hall. What are
they?
The three areas are: the front wall, the front of the lecture hall and
the main part of the lecture hall.
Looking at Vocabulary:
Prepositions of Place
When you write a description of a place, you will often use words and phrases starting with
prepositions to describe where things are.

In the back of the room is a large white cabinet. There’s a clock above the cabinet.

You may already know the meaning of many prepositions, but a challenge that all learners
face is to use them accurately. For example, it’s easy to confuse in, on, and at. It’s also
common for learners to have trouble knowing whether to use in front of or at the front of.
Noticing the details of these phrases will allow you to use them accurately.
Practice 2: Looking at Prepositions of Place
Look at objects 1-10. Circle the first mention of each of these in the writing model on page 111, and underline
the phrase that describes where it is. Then use the underlined words to complete phrases in the second
column.

Object Location
1. Large white screen on the front wall
2. Huge whiteboard behind
___________ the screen
3. clock to the left of
______________the screen
4. Light switches underneath
_____________ the clock
5. armchairs against
_____________ the wall
6. instructor’s desk At the fron of the lecture hall
________________
7. lectern To the right of
_________________ the desk
8. 30 rows of seats In front of
__________________ the teacher’s desk
9. Small folding tabletop On the left of
_________________ each seat
10. 3 feet of space between
_______________ the rows
Organization
Topic Sentences
 Descriptive paragraphs have
topic sentences. The topic
sentence has a topic and a
controlling idea. The topic
names the person, place or
thing to be described. The Examples
controlling idea usually gives
a general impression of the  The club was full of people
topic (beautiful, neat, messy,
having fun.
interesting, unusual, crowded,
busy, noisy).  The old house looked
ready to fall down.

 The cave was a dangerous

place to enter.
Organization
Concluding Sentences
The concluding sentence of a descriptive paragraph can do
one of the following:

It may repeat the idea stated in the topic

sentence using different words.

It may repeat the idea and also give the

writer’s opinion or feeling about the topic.
 Here are examples of concluding sentences that you
might use with the topic sentences above

Topic Sentence Concluding Sentence

The club was full of young To sum up, the music, dancing, and (Idea in
people having fun. flashing lights made the club an exciting different
and fun place to be. words)

The old house looked ready In short, I doubt the old house will (Opinion
to fall down. survive one more winter. )
The cave was a dangerous My friend and I were very happy when (Feeling)
place to enter. we got out of the cave.
1. What is the topic of the
topic sentence? What is
the controlling idea?
2. What word in the topic
sentence is repeated in
the concluding
sentence?
3. In the concluding
sentence, does the
writer repeat the idea
stated in the topic
sentence, or does she
express an opinion or
feeling about it?
4. What kind of space order
does the writer of this
paragraph use?
1. What is the topic of the topic sentence? What is the controlling idea?
The topic: my nephew
The controlling idea: he is extremely tall.

2. What word in the topic sentence is repeated in the concluding

sentence?
Tall

3. In the concluding sentence, does the writer repeat the idea stated in
the topic sentence, or does she express an opinion or feeling about it?
Both: the writer repeats the idea stated in the topic sentence and expresses an
opinion about her nephew

4. What kind of space order does the writer of this paragraph use?
Top to bottom
 Organization
Supporting Sentences with
Specific Details
When you describe something, your goal is to make your reader
“see” what you have described. The way to do this is to use
supporting sentences that contain specific details. Specific means
exact or precise. The opposite of specific is general or vague. The
more specific you can be, the better your reader can visualize or
see what you are describing.

Vague Specific

A lot of money $500,000

A large house A six-bedroom house with four bathrooms
A nice car A red BMW convertible
A pretty face Warm brown eyes and sparkling teeth
Practice 4: Adding specific details
Add as many specific details as you can to these vague descriptions.
1. My uncle is large.
a. He is 6 feet, 3 inches tall and weighs 250 pounds
b. His shirts are XXX large
c. His shoe size is 49.
d.
2. My boss has a beautiful house.
a. The house is in a beautiful neighborhood, overlooking a park
b. It has a garden that is full of different kinds of trees and flowers
c. It has four cozy bedrooms with balconies
d. There are three floors in the house, with 8 rooms and 5 bathrooms.
3. Our public library is nice.
a. The library has an amazing collection of interesting books in different fields of
b. knowledge
There are reading areas for adults and for children
c. There is a computer lab that offers thousands of e-books
d. There are private stalls for students to study quietly