FAMILIES

MODULE 2

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Unit 2

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 Significant Components of
Parenting
I. Nurturance
II. Structure
III. Affiliation
IV. Attachment

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 I. Nurturance requires
A. Access to resources
B. Capacity to use them for the child
C. Own needs being met
D. Absence of compelling consistent concerns
(addiction, severe poverty, depression, spouse abuse,
severe marital disruption)

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 Nurturance Requires (cont.)
E.) Reinforcement for providing for the
child

 Support from important adults

 Clear response from the child-
satiation, comfort,
satisfaction, quieting
 Infant’s social responsiveness
connects the child with
caretakers 5
 Nurturance Requires (cont.)
F.) Empathic capacity to infer infant’s needs

 Appreciation of intentionality
of infant
 Reflectiveness on the parents’
part leading to an
appreciation of reciprocal
selfhood

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 II. Structure Requires
A. Capacity to appreciate developmental abilities
B. Avoidance of polarized adult interactions
C. Acceptance of responsibility for child
D. Willingness to distance from the child enough to
set a limit
E. Capacity to define the child’s world so that
competence develops
F. Utilizing the child’s responsiveness to limits to
reinforce future adherence
G. G. Providing a sense that limits occur through
knowledge of the child and the capacity to
appreciate his/her skills and needs 7
 III. Affiliation Requires
A. The capacity to know the child
B. Creating a coherent picture of the child
C. Willingness to accept and appreciate the child as
he/she is
D. Appreciation of the child’s affective responses
as legitimate
E. Willingness to respond to the child’s affective
expression with knowledge and neither
dismissiveness, anxiety nor disorganization

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 IV. Attachment Requires
A. Capacity for affect expression and modulation
B. Sense that relationships provide knowing, definition,
safety and ultimately self-expression and self-
awareness
C. Recognition that stress can be dealt with socially
and affectively
D. Synchrony exists between connection, calming,
safety and competence

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 Variations in Family Structure
 Single-parent family  Adoptive family
 Divorcing family/post-divorce
family  Gay and
 Blended family lesbian parents
 Grandparent-or kin-headed
family  Unmarried
 Foster care family couple as
parents
 Bicultural
family
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 Common Stresses and Concerns of
Single-Parent Families
 Economic concerns
 Need for social support
 Relationship of children with noncustodial parent
 Balance among home, child rearing, and work
 Relationship with and support from extended family
 Negotiations with school, child care providers, and
community supports
 Dealing with cultural and community attitudes

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 Common Stresses and Concerns of
Single-Parent Families (cont.)
 Balance between nurturance and limit setting for children
throughout development
 Maintaining a positive relationship with children and
between siblings
 Time pressures
 Need for fulfilling personal and social life
 Recognizing strengths and accomplishments
 Accepting and grieving losses
 Collaboration with noncustodial parent
 Added burden of health or mental health concerns of parent
and children

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 Common Stresses and Concerns of
Blended Families
 Introducing the children to a new adult
 Parental decision to remarry
 Determine step-parenting roles and responsibilities
 Facilitating relationship between stepparents and children

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 Common Stresses and Concerns of
Blended Families (cont.)
 Facilitating relationship between stepchildren
 Developing methods of dealing with ex-spouse(s)
 Potential for moving and relocating
 Engaging stepparent in health and mental health treatment
for the children
 Dealing with adaptation to the new family, including
resolving differences and conflicts in the new marriage
 Developing relationships with new extended family
 Preparing for birth of children in the new marriage
 Realizing the potential for dissolution of the new marriage
and the impact of this on the children
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 Common Stresses and Concerns of
Grandparent/Kin-headed Families
 Appreciating the stress associated with relocating the child
 Dealing with grandparent (kin) reactions to natural parent’s
inability to raise the child
 Assisting the child with the emotional reaction to loss or
inconsistency of natural parent and previous poor treatment
or care
 Dealing with social service, education, and health and mental
health systems effectively
 Encouraging time and respite for all family members

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 Common Stresses and Concerns of
Grandparent/kin-headed Families (cont.)

 Allowing room for involvement of natural parent as

appropriate
 Dealing with economic concerns, including finances for
child rearing
 Dealing with custody ambiguities
 Grandparent health or mental health concerns
 Dealing with inconsistencies between natural parent and
grandparent or kin child-rearing practices
 Integrating the children with other household members

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 Common Stresses and Concerns
of Foster Care Families
 Ensuring foster care family availability, certification,
training, and adequacy of living situation
 Establishing collaborative relationship among foster family,
social service agency, mental health professionals, and the
children (as appropriate)

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 Common Stresses and Concerns
of Foster Care Families (cont.)
 Ensuring adequate economic resources for family life
 Dealing with the child’s reaction to parental loss and
relocation
 Providing information to the children about reasons for and
duration of foster care
 Assisting the children with mental health problems,
including responses to previous trauma or loss
 Assisting the children with reestablishing relationship with
natural parents if that occurs or with inconsistencies of
natural parent’s involvement

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 Common Stresses and Concerns
of Foster Care Families (cont.)
 Dealing with the uncertainty of placement duration and
permanency planning
 Assisting the children with any moves among foster families
 Developing positive attachment with and emotional support
for the children through developmental transitions
 Establishing effective limit-setting responses for potentially
traumatized children

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 Common Stresses and Concerns
of Adoptive Families
 Building attachment and emotional support for children in adoptive
family
 Developing methods of assisting children with their emotional responses
to change, parental loss, and possible previous traumatization
 Dealing with cultural or temperamental differences between parents and
children
 Dealing with parental emotional response to reasons for adopting
children
 Developing effective parenting skills with often challenging children
 Appreciating and responding to child’s experience of not “belonging” to
the adoptive family throughout development
 Responding to naturally occurring adoptive parent-child conflicts and
disagreements

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 Common Stresses and Concerns
of Adoptive Families (cont.)
 Developing methods of recognizing the value of adoptive
parents’ decision to raise nonbiologic children
 Identifying and using ratifying and supportive assistance
from mental health, educational, and social systems,
when necessary
 Assisting children with the decision to learn more about
their birth culture or meet their natural parents

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 Common Stresses and Concerns
of Gay and Lesbian Families
 Reaching agreement and commitment to raise children
together
 Recognizing strengths, successes, and capacities of
homosexual parents
 Dealing with the degree to which each parental partner
is open about his or her lifestyle with extended family,
neighbors, and community; the education system;
health and mental health resources; and the other
biologic parent
 Developing a way to explain parental lifestyle to
children
 Assisting children with an explanation of their family for
peers, teachers, coaches, and others 22
Common Stresses and Concerns of
Gay and Lesbian Families (cont.)
 Responding to discriminatory or misunderstanding
comments by family, community members, ex-partners,
school personnel, health or mental health providers, or
children’s peers
 Dealing with the children’s questions and preferences
throughout development
 Dealing with naturally occurring parent-child conflicts,
recognizing how they may be altered by parental
lifestyle
 Assisting children with their own lifestyle and
relationship choices
 Dealing with stresses within the parents’ relationship
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 Common Stresses and Concerns
of Unmarried Couples
 Maintaining commitment to the relationship and to
parenting
 Determining parental roles in providing support to the
children and setting limits
 Recognizing and responding to areas of tenuousness,
ambivalence, and insecurity in the parents’ relationship
 Facilitating children’s relationship with both parents
 Recognizing children’s responses to changes in the
relationship either toward greater permanence or
toward separation

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 Common Stresses and Concerns
of Unmarried Couples (cont.)
 Assisting the children’s response to separation should that
occur and considering possibility of child’s continued
involvement with separated partner if mutually acceptable
 Acknowledging and responding to difficulties associated with
others’ reaction to unmarried status

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 Common Stresses and Concerns
of Bicultural Families
 Establishing family culture
 Appreciating individual parental cultural differences,
traditions, and expectations
 Recognizing children’s need for self-definition and
exploration of both parents’ cultures
 Appreciating and responding to extended family
concerns, questions, and responses
 Establishing a dialogue that recognized the strengths,
possibilities, and uncertainties of this bicultural
synthesis for this family

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 Common Stresses and Concerns
of Bicultural Families (cont.)
 Assisting the children with responses to questions and
potentially insensitive comments from peers and adults
in their lives
 Developing family traditions that respect both cultural
heritages

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THANK YOU!