Marriages and Families: Changes, Choices and Constraints
Eighth Edition
Nijole V. Benokraitis
© 2015, 2012, 2011 by Pearson Education, Inc. All rights reserved.
Chapter 12
RAISING CHILDREN:
PROMISES AND PITFALLS
Marriages and Families: Changes,
Choices and Constraints, 8e © 2015, 2012, 2011 by Pearson Education, Inc. All rights reserved.
Contemporary Parenting Roles
• A parent is born
• Some rewards and difficulties of parenting
• Motherhood: Ideal versus realistic roles
• Fatherhood: Ideal versus realistic roles
Marriages and Families: Changes,
Choices and Constraints, 8e © 2015, 2012, 2011 by Pearson Education, Inc. All rights reserved.
A Parent Is Born
• People internalize their parental roles
– Becoming a mother or father becomes part of
a person’s self-identity
• Parenting does not come naturally
– It is neither instinctive nor innate
Marriages and Families: Changes,
Choices and Constraints, 8e © 2015, 2012, 2011 by Pearson Education, Inc. All rights reserved.
Some Rewards and Difficulties of
Parenting
• Rewards
– Enhanced sense of well-being
– Happiness
• Difficulties
– Role overload
– Role conflict
– Role strain
Marriages and Families: Changes,
Choices and Constraints, 8e © 2015, 2012, 2011 by Pearson Education, Inc. All rights reserved.
Motherhood: Ideal versus Realistic
Roles
• Mothers face enormous pressures
– Broken sleep and splitting time between work
and child care
• Transition to motherhood is linked to a
decline in marital satisfaction
– Dissatisfaction and stress increase when
partners aren’t doing their share of child care
Marriages and Families: Changes,
Choices and Constraints, 8e © 2015, 2012, 2011 by Pearson Education, Inc. All rights reserved.
Fatherhood: Ideal versus Realistic
Roles
• Involvement in child care helps adjust to
new roles
• Quality of relationship with partner affects
parenting
Marriages and Families: Changes,
Choices and Constraints, 8e © 2015, 2012, 2011 by Pearson Education, Inc. All rights reserved.
Child Development Theories
• Mead’s theory of the social self
• Piaget’s cognitive development theory
• Erikson’s psychosocial theory of
development
Marriages and Families: Changes,
Choices and Constraints, 8e © 2015, 2012, 2011 by Pearson Education, Inc. All rights reserved.
Mead’s Theory of the Social Self
• Propagates self as the basis of humanity
that develops not out of biological urges
but from social interaction
• Generalized other: People who don’t
have close ties to a child but who influence
the child’s internalization of society’s
norms and values
Marriages and Families: Changes,
Choices and Constraints, 8e © 2015, 2012, 2011 by Pearson Education, Inc. All rights reserved.
Piaget’s Cognitive Development Theory
Piaget’s stages of development for children
Acquisition of abilities such as differentiating oneself
from the external world
Learning to use language and symbols
Understanding the perspective of another person
Learning to think and reason in abstract terms about
past, present, and future
Marriages and Families: Changes,
Choices and Constraints, 8e © 2015, 2012, 2011 by Pearson Education, Inc. All rights reserved.
Erikson’s Psychosocial Theory of
Development
• Constitutes eight stages outlining a
specific challenge, or crisis
– Presents both tasks and risks
– Outcome of each crisis determines whether
the individual will move on successfully to the
next stage
Marriages and Families: Changes,
Choices and Constraints, 8e © 2015, 2012, 2011 by Pearson Education, Inc. All rights reserved.
Parenting Styles and Discipline
• Parenting styles
• Discipline
Marriages and Families: Changes,
Choices and Constraints, 8e © 2015, 2012, 2011 by Pearson Education, Inc. All rights reserved.
Parenting Styles
• General approaches to interacting with
and disciplining children
– Authoritarian
– Permissive
– Authoritative
– Uninvolved
• Healthy child development is most likely in
authoritative families
Marriages and Families: Changes,
Choices and Constraints, 8e © 2015, 2012, 2011 by Pearson Education, Inc. All rights reserved.
Table 12.2 - Four Common Parenting
Styles
Marriages and Families: Changes,
Choices and Constraints, 8e © 2015, 2012, 2011 by Pearson Education, Inc. All rights reserved.
Discipline
• Commonly used forms of discipline
– Verbal punishment
– Corporal punishment
• Inner resources required by children to
become responsible adults
– Positive feelings
– Understanding of right and wrong
– Alternatives for solving problems
Marriages and Families: Changes,
Choices and Constraints, 8e © 2015, 2012, 2011 by Pearson Education, Inc. All rights reserved.
Parenting Variations by Race, Ethnicity,
and Social Class
• Parenting across racial-ethnic families
• Parenting and social class
Marriages and Families: Changes,
Choices and Constraints, 8e © 2015, 2012, 2011 by Pearson Education, Inc. All rights reserved.
Parenting Across Racial-Ethnic
Families
• Spending time with children includes:
– Reading to them
– Going for outings
• Latino and black parents spend the least time with
their children
• Quality of the parents’ relationship is
associated with positive behavioral
outcomes in children
– Applicable to all racial-ethnic families
Marriages and Families: Changes,
Choices and Constraints, 8e © 2015, 2012, 2011 by Pearson Education, Inc. All rights reserved.
Table 12.3 - How Often Do Parents
Read to Their Kids?
Source: Based on data in “Half of Young Children . . .,” 2011, Table D9.
Marriages and Families: Changes,
Choices and Constraints, 8e © 2015, 2012, 2011 by Pearson Education, Inc. All rights reserved.
Parenting and Social Class
Low-SES families Middle-SES High-SES
families families
Children have little Children have better Children internalize
physical space at self-expression and personal goals that
home vocabulary include earning a
college degree
Schools are Children get proper Children are
overcrowded, health care provided with better
underfunded, and education and out-of-
offer few school learning
extracurricular opportunities
activities
Marriages and Families: Changes,
Choices and Constraints, 8e © 2015, 2012, 2011 by Pearson Education, Inc. All rights reserved.
Parenting in Lesbian and Gay Families
• How same-sex and opposite-sex parenting
is similar
• How same-sex and opposite-sex parenting
differ
Marriages and Families: Changes,
Choices and Constraints, 8e © 2015, 2012, 2011 by Pearson Education, Inc. All rights reserved.
How Same-Sex and Opposite-Sex
Parenting Is Similar
• Parents must make a living and juggle
work and domestic responsibilities
• Both children and parents must develop
problem-solving skills
• Partner making a larger portion of the
household income has more power in
making financial decisions
Marriages and Families: Changes,
Choices and Constraints, 8e © 2015, 2012, 2011 by Pearson Education, Inc. All rights reserved.
How Same-Sex and Opposite-Sex
Parenting Differ
• Children of gay and lesbian parents
experience prejudice and discrimination
• Gay and lesbian parents face legal
exclusion in the states that prohibit same-
sex marriages
Marriages and Families: Changes,
Choices and Constraints, 8e © 2015, 2012, 2011 by Pearson Education, Inc. All rights reserved.
Question 7
• _______ parents are less likely to read to
their young children.
A. Latino
B. African American
C. Asian American
D. White
Marriages and Families: Changes,
Choices and Constraints, 8e © 2015, 2012, 2011 by Pearson Education, Inc. All rights reserved.
Parenting Over the Life Course
• Parenting infants and babies
• Parenting children
• Parenting teenagers
• Parenting in the crowded empty nest
• Parenting in later life
Marriages and Families: Changes,
Choices and Constraints, 8e © 2015, 2012, 2011 by Pearson Education, Inc. All rights reserved.
Parenting Infants and Babies
• False expectations or unrealistic goals
create unnecessary anxiety and guilt in
parents
• Bed sharing
– Advantage - Promotes parent-infant bonding
– Disadvantage - Risk of sudden infant death
syndrome (SIDS)
Marriages and Families: Changes,
Choices and Constraints, 8e © 2015, 2012, 2011 by Pearson Education, Inc. All rights reserved.
Parenting Children
• Quality of relationships with adults and
other caregivers affects a child’s
development
– Daily interaction
– Parents’ and children’s inputs
– Medicalization: Defining a nonmedical
condition or behavior as an illness, disorder,
or disease that requires medical treatment
– Overscheduling
Marriages and Families: Changes,
Choices and Constraints, 8e © 2015, 2012, 2011 by Pearson Education, Inc. All rights reserved.
Parenting Teenagers
• Parent child relationships change when
children become teenagers
• Adolescents try to:
– Establish their own identity
– Test their autonomy as they mature
– Break away from parental supervision
Marriages and Families: Changes,
Choices and Constraints, 8e © 2015, 2012, 2011 by Pearson Education, Inc. All rights reserved.
Parenting in the Crowded Empty Nest
• Boomerang children and boomerang
generation - Young adults moving back in
with their parents
• Reasons
– Macro - Not having to pay bills, Good lifestyle,
and doting parents who support financially
– Micro - Recession, economic instability, and
declining employment
Marriages and Families: Changes,
Choices and Constraints, 8e © 2015, 2012, 2011 by Pearson Education, Inc. All rights reserved.
Figure 12.1 - Who Lives at Home?
Source: Based on U.S. Census Bureau, Current Population Survey . . ., 2012, Table A2.
Marriages and Families: Changes,
Choices and Constraints, 8e © 2015, 2012, 2011 by Pearson Education, Inc. All rights reserved.
Figure 12.2 - Boomerang Children and
Family Dynamics
Marriages and Families: Changes,
Choices and Constraints, 8e © 2015, 2012, 2011 by Pearson Education, Inc. All rights reserved.
Parenting in Later Life
• Number of multigenerational households
has increased
• Child–parent relationships improve if when
there is division of work and expense
sharing
• Adults who receive parental financial and
emotional support are happier
Marriages and Families: Changes,
Choices and Constraints, 8e © 2015, 2012, 2011 by Pearson Education, Inc. All rights reserved.
Child Care Arrangements
• Absentee fathers
• Latchkey kids
• Who’s minding the kids?
Marriages and Families: Changes,
Choices and Constraints, 8e © 2015, 2012, 2011 by Pearson Education, Inc. All rights reserved.
Absentee Fathers
• Reasons
– Having babies during the teen years and not
being able to provide financially
– Deserting unwed mothers, incarceration, and
physical or mental disabilities
– Drug abuse, divorce and not paying child
support
• Increase their children’s likelihood of
economic and social deprivation
Marriages and Families: Changes,
Choices and Constraints, 8e © 2015, 2012, 2011 by Pearson Education, Inc. All rights reserved.
Latchkey Kids
• Children who return home after school and
are alone until a parent or another adult
arrives
• DEWK (dual-employed with kids): Family
in which both parents are employed full
time outside the home
• Children enjoy being home alone
– Possibility of misusing the independence
Marriages and Families: Changes,
Choices and Constraints, 8e © 2015, 2012, 2011 by Pearson Education, Inc. All rights reserved.
Who’s Minding the Kids?
• Well-run child care center has positive
effects on children’s social and cognitive
development
• When low-income families aren’t eligible
for child care programs they:
– Experience long waiting lists
– Are subject to high co-payments that they
can’t afford
Marriages and Families: Changes,
Choices and Constraints, 8e © 2015, 2012, 2011 by Pearson Education, Inc. All rights reserved.
Figure 12.3 - Who’s Watching the Kids?
Source: Based on Laughlin, 2013, Table 3.
Marriages and Families: Changes,
Choices and Constraints, 8e © 2015, 2012, 2011 by Pearson Education, Inc. All rights reserved.
Current Social Issues and Children’s
Well-Being
• The impact of electronic media
• Children at risk
• Foster care
Marriages and Families: Changes,
Choices and Constraints, 8e © 2015, 2012, 2011 by Pearson Education, Inc. All rights reserved.
The Impact of Electronic Media
• Computer technology has revolutionized
parenting
– It is unclear if it is for good or bad
• Parents are wary of the impact of
electronic media on children
– Cyber-bullying: Willful and repeated harm
using computers, cell phones, or other
electronic devices
Marriages and Families: Changes,
Choices and Constraints, 8e © 2015, 2012, 2011 by Pearson Education, Inc. All rights reserved.
Children at Risk
• Children and adolescents are obese
• Number of incarcerated parents with
children under age has 18 increased
• Children live in highly polluted environs
• U.S has the highest child poverty rates
and the worst record in protecting children
against gun violence
Marriages and Families: Changes,
Choices and Constraints, 8e © 2015, 2012, 2011 by Pearson Education, Inc. All rights reserved.
Foster Care
• Foster home: Out-of-home placement in
which adults raise children who aren’t their
own
– Benefit
• Children experience physical and emotional safety
– Is short-term care until children can be
adopted or returned to their biological parents
Marriages and Families: Changes,
Choices and Constraints, 8e © 2015, 2012, 2011 by Pearson Education, Inc. All rights reserved.