BODY LANGUAGE
THE TERM “BODY LANGUAGE” COVERS THE WAY IN WHICH WE ‘TALK’ OR
COMMUNICATE
VISUALLY.
THE MAIN SOURCES OF VISUAL OR NON-VERBAL COMMUNICATION ARE
•FACIAL EXPRESSIONS INCLUDING GAZE (HAPPY / BORED)
•POSTURE ( THE WAY WE STAND)
•GESTURE ( SHRUGGING SHOULDERS)
•POSITION (STATUS / BEHIND DESK)
USE YOUR BODY LANGUAGE TO EMPHASIZE YOUR MESSAGE. THE BIGGEST MISTAKES
ARE
MADE WHEN A BODY LANGUAGE MESSAGE SUGGESTS DISAGREEMENT, WHILE THE
WORDS
USED IMPLY AGREEMENT. IT IS VERY IMPORTANT THAT THE BODY LANGUAGE
MATCHES THE
MESSAGE BEING TRANSMITTED
1. YOU WILL SEEM DEFENSIVE IF YOU
FACE & HANDS
* AVOID EYE CONTACT OR IMMEDIATELY LOOK AWAY WHEN IT OCCURS
* DON'T LOOK AT THE OTHER PERSON
HANDS & ARMS
* CLENCH HANDS.
* CROSS ARMS
* CONSTANTLY RUB AN EYE OR NOSE OR EAR.
(DEFENSIVE) BODY
* LEAN AWAY FROM THE OTHER PERSON
* CROSS YOUR LEGS.
* SWIVEL YOUR FEET TOWARDS THE DOOR
YOU WILL SEEM ANXIOUS IF YOU
FACE & HEAD
* BLINK FREQUENTLY
* LICK YOUR LIPS
* KEEP CLEARING YOUR THROAT
HANDS & ARMS
* OPEN & CLOSE YOUR HANDS FREQUENTLY
* PUT YOUR HAND OVER YOUR MOUTH WHILE
SPEAKING
* TUG AT EAR
BODY
* FIDGET IN YOUR CHAIR.
* JIG YOUR FEET UP & DOWN.
2. YOU WILL SEEM AGGRESSIVE IF YOU
FACE & HEAD
* STARE AT THE OTHER PERSON
* WEAR AN I’VE HEARD IT ALL BEFORE SMILE
* RAISE YOUR EYEBROWS IN EXAGGERATED AMAZEMENT OR DISBELIEF
* LOOK OVER THE TOP OF YOUR SPECTACLES.
(AGGRESSIVE) HANDS & ARMS
* POINT YOUR FINGERS AT THE OTHER PERSON.
* THUMP YOUR FIST ON THE TABLE
* RUB THE BACK OF YOUR NECK.
BODY
* STAND WHILE THE OTHER PERSON IS SEATED.
* STRIDE AROUND
•LEAN BACK IN YOUR CHAIR WITH BOTH HANDS BEHIND
YOUR HEAD & LEGS SPLAYED.
3. YOU WILL SEEM FRIENDLY & CO-OPERATIVE
FACE & HEAD
* LOOK AT THE OTHER PERSONS FACE & SMILE.
* NOD YOUR HEAD AS THE OTHER PERSON IS TALKING
HANDS & ARMS
* HAVE OPEN ARMS
* PUT YOUR HAND TO YOUR FACE OCCASIONALLY
* UNCROSS YOUR ARMS.
BODY
* SIT WITH UNCROSSED LEGS
* LEAN SLIGHTLY FOREWORD
* MOVE CLOSER TO THE OTHER PERSON.
4. YOU WILL SEEM CONFIDENT IF YOU
FACE & HEAD
* LOOK INTO THE OTHER PERSONS EYES.
* DON’T BLINK YOUR EYES.
* THRUST YOUR CHIN FORWARD
HANDS & ARMS
* KEEP YOUR HANDS AWAY FROM FACE.
* STEEPLE YOUR FINGERS TOGETHER
* STAND WITH EASE WITH HANDS BEHIND YOUR BACK.
BODY
* WHEN SEATED YOU LEAN BACK WITH LEGS OUT IN FRONT OF YOU
* STAND STRAIGHT.
* STAY STILL, MAKE NO SUDDEN MOVEMENTS.
5. YOU WILL SEEM THOUGHTFUL IF YOU
FACE & HEAD
* LOOK AT THE OTHER PERSON FOR 3/4TH OF THE
TIME WHEN LISTENING.
* TILT YOUR HEAD TO ONE SIDE SLIGHTLY.
HANDS & ARMS
* STROKE YOUR CHIN OR PINCH THE BRIDGE OF
YOUR NOSE.
* TAKE OFF YOUR SPECTACLES & PUT THE
EARPIECE INTO YOU MOUTH.
BODY
* LEAN FORWARD TO SPEAK & LEAN BACK TO
LISTEN.
* KEEP YOUR LEGS STILL.
PASSIVE BEHAVIOUR
Passive verbal behaviour
* Apologizing
* Seeking permission :”would YOU MIND…”
* Filler words: ‘maybe’, ‘perhaps’
* Few ‘i’ statements
* Dismissing your own need :it’s not really
important’.
* Putting yourself down : ‘i should have
mentioned this earlier’.
Passive non-verbal behaviour
* Dull & quiet tone of voice.
* Hesitant & jerky flow of speech.
* Frequent throat clearing.
* Smiling when being criticized or put down.
* Little eye contact
* Hand wringing & hunched shoulders
* Nervous movements & stepping back
AGGRESSIVE BEHAVIOUR
Aggressive verbal behaviour
* Lots of ‘i’ statements.
* Sarcasm & put downs.
* Accusations
* weighted words like ‘should’ & ‘must’ & ‘ought’
* Threatening questions
* expressing opinions as if they were facts.
Aggressive non-verbal behaviour
* Strident & loud tone of voice.
* Cold & sarcastic tone
* Fast & sometimes clipped speech.
* Chin thrust foreword, jaw firm, scowls & raised
eyebrows
* Clear & dominating eye contact
* Arms crossed, strides about, finger pointing & arm
waving
ASSERTIVE BEHAVIOUR
Assertive verbal behaviour
* Clear & brief statements.
* Expression of what you want.
* Finding out views & feelings of the other person.
* ‘I’ statements were appropriate.
Assertive non-verbal behaviour
* Firm & clear tone of voice but always clear.
Fluent & even speech pattern
* facial expressions related to emotions, & neutral
When emotions not being expressed
* Upright & relaxed.
* Erect & non-threatening head posture.
NONVERBAL BEHAVIOR INTERPRETATION
Brisk, erect walk Confidence
Standing with hands on hips Readiness, aggression
Sitting with legs crossed, foot kicking slightly Boredom
Sitting, legs apart Open, relaxed
Arms crossed on chest Defensiveness
Touching, slightly rubbing nose Rejection, doubt, lying
Rubbing the eye Doubt, disbelief
Hands clasped behind back Anger, frustration, apprehension
Locked ankles Apprehension
Rubbing hands Anticipation
Sitting with hands clasped behind head, legs crossed Confidence, superiority
Open palm Sincerity, openness, innocence
Tapping or drumming fingers Impatience
Patting/fondling hair Lack of self-confidence; insecurity
Tilted head Interest
Stroking chin Trying to make a decision
Looking down, face turned away Disbelief
Biting nails Insecurity, nervousness
According to the 10-40-50 principle,
10 % of the impression or impact comes from what we
actually say,
40% comes form the way how we say it
and
the major part i.e. 50% coming from our body language.
Top Ten Body Language Tips
•
Eye Contact Eye contact is one of the most important aspects of dealing with others,
especially people we've just met. Maintaining good eye contact shows respect and
interest in what they have to say.
• Posture Posture is the next thing to master, get your posture right and you'll
automatically start feeling better, as it makes you feel good almost instantly. Next
time you notice you're feeling a bit down, take a look at how your standing or sitting.
Chances are you'll be slouched over with your shoulders drooping down and inward.
This collapses the chest and inhibits good breathing, which in turn can help make
you feel nervous or uncomfortable.
• Head position Head position is a great one to play around with, with yourself and
others. When you want to feel confident and self assured keep your head level both
horizontally and vertically. You can also use this straight head position when you
want to be authoritative and what you're saying to be taken seriously. Conversely,
when you want to be friendly and in the listening, receptive mode, tilt your head just
a little to one side or other.