CLAYHAVEN PRIMARY SCHOOL
PHYSICAL AND SOCIAL WELL-BEING
GRADE 6
How you can help when people are fighting
How to mediate an argument
Step 1: Ask if those involved would like you to help them by mediating. If they agree, find a quiet place
where you won't be disturbed by anyone.
Step 2: Get those involved to agree that they want to solve the problem. They shouldn’t interrupt when
someone else is talking or insult someone or call them names. What they say should remain confidential.
Step 3: Follow the rules for mediating.
Rules for mediating
Rule 1: Give each person a turn to speak. Summarise what they say (repeat what they have told you in your
own words).
Rule 2: Look for different ways in which they could solve the problem. Ask each person what they could
you have done differently and summarise their answers. Then ask each person what they could do right now
to help solve the problem.
Rule 3: Help the people in conflict find a solution. Ask about how each one feels about the suggestions they
have made. You can suggest that they each be willing to give in a bit so they can find a solution that they
can both accept. Repeat the solution and ask the conflicted people if they agree to all of it. Lastly,
congratulate them on working through their problems.
Peace keeping skills
You need mediation when there is already a problem that has to be sorted out. Peacekeeping skills are skills
to help prevent conflict from breaking out.
Different responses to conflict
Aggressive responses can create more conflict. It could make the person who pushed into the line angry,
they might swear at you or hit you.
Passive responses mean that you are pretending to ignore a situation. You will not be able to pretend the
whole time and then you will become so angry you might react in a way you will regret. Furthermore, the
person that you are ignoring is not likely to change their behaviour because they think that their actions are
not worrying you.
Assertive response is the most difficult way to deal with conflict, but it is normally the most successful,
especially when the person is spoken to in a respectful and calm way. It is no good saying, “Please stand at
the back of the line because we are all hungry.” in a rude voice and with a fist in the face of the person with
who you are speaking.
How could you learn to stop conflict before it happens?
Respect other people's things. Many conflicts are caused when one person spoils another person's things or
borrows without permission.
Understand that we are all different and come from different backgrounds.
Be tolerant of other people's ways and backgrounds (it takes all kinds to make up our wonderfully diverse
world).
Show respect for others people's ways and backgrounds (who is to say yours is the only right way?). You
should show respect for others by not judging them harshly.
Listen to other people's points of view in a discussion. Even if you strongly disagree with others, it is
important that you listen to what people have to say.
Be willing to cooperate.
Learn to take responsibility for your own actions in situations that arise and be clever enough to step down.
Don't keep on fighting. We all make mistakes but the ones who can admit that they are wrong or can step
away from a big fight are the winners.
Recognise when there is a problem and find help before it becomes a major conflict. Go to a peer or a
trusted adult such as a parent or a teacher.
Keywords
Mediator - the person who helps people or groups solve an argument or come to an agreement
Conflict - when people disagree about something and start fighting about it
Confidential- Something private and not told to anyone else
Tolerant- being willing to accept that others have different opinions and ways of doing things
Activity
a. What is a mediator?
b. What is conflict? Provide an example.
c. How can you mediate an argument?
d) How can you learn to stop conflict before it happens?