Neuro-Linguistic Programming

NLP is the acronym for Neuro-Linguistic Programming.

NLP is the study of human excellence.
NLP is the ability to be your best more often.
NLP is the powerful and practical approach to personal change.
NLP is the new technology of achievement.
Neuro refers to our neurology. Linguistic refers to our ability to use
language and how specific words and phrases mirror our mental
worlds. Linguistic also refers to our ‘silent language’ of postures,
gestures, and habits that reveal our thinking styles, beliefs, and more.
Programming refers to how our neural language functions. In other
words, learning NLP is like learning the language of your own mind!

NLP Presuppositions

1. The map is not the territory.

2. Experience has a structure.
3. If one person can do something, anyone can learn to do it.
4. The mind and body are parts of the same system.
5. People already have all the resources they need.
6. You cannot NOT communicate.
7. The meaning of your communication is the response you get.
8. Underlying every behavior is a positive intention.
9. People are always making the best choice (s) available to them.
10. If what you are doing isn’t working, do something else. DO
anything else.

The Models for NLP:

Grinder and Bandler modeled three successful therapists, seeking to

discover the difference that made the difference – what it was that set
these people apart from the average. What was different about their
thinking and the way they behaved? How did this produce such
successful results?
The therapists they looked at were Milton Erickson, Virginia Satir and
Fritz Perls.
➢ Milton Erickson (1901-80) was a psychiatrist and became a highly
successful hypnotherapist. The way in which he used language and
hypnosis has become known as ‘Ericksonian hypnosis’. NLP has
modeled Erickson’s language to produce the Milton Model (see pp.
100-13) of language patterns. These can be used to put another person
into a light ‘trance’ – a useful state in which NLP technique can
produce change.

➢ Virginia Satir (1916-88) was a family therapist who developed a

novel approach based on the idea that there are five key personality
areas in people’s behavior (now known as ‘Satir categories’). Many of
her ideas have become common currency since her death.

➢ Fritz Perls (1893-1970) is known as the founder of Gestalt

Therapy, which he co-developed into a general therapeutic tool. He
moved away from the psychoanalytical model in which the past is
analyzed and instead looked at what was happening in the present as
the key to change.

Out of the models that Bandler and Grinder produced came a series of
techniques that form the strategies that can be used to change behavior.

Four Stages of Learning:

1. Unconscious incompetence

When you begin something new, you don’t know what you don’t
know. If you were learning to drive, for example, you would have no
notion of what it would be like if you were able to drive.

2. Conscious incompetence

You are now aware that you don’t know. You try to drive and realize
how much there is to learn.

3. Conscious competence
By this stage you are relatively competent but your skills are conscious,
not yet an unconscious habit. Progress is probably slower, since there is
less to learn and it may be more difficult. Your skills are not yet
automatic – new drivers still have to think about each thing they do.

4. Unconscious competence (mastery)

You have mastery of your skill. Driving has become a habit. You can
drive without thinking about everything you do. The beliefs you have
acquired are also unconscious – you simply believe that you are a
driver. It has become part of your identity.

The Four Rules For Success:

1. Know What You Want: NLP is outcome – oriented. It always starts

with the final goal in mind because its core belief is that you will get
whatever you focus on in life. If you don’t know what you want, you
are essentially acting like a rower without oars – your final destination
will not be a place of your own choosing. Many people are not specific
enough about their goals. They may know what they want in a very
general way, or may just have an awareness of what they don’t want. It
is only if you think through what you want in a specific way that you
will achieve very clear and precisely targeted results.

2. Take Action To Get It: People who get the results they want do so
by taking action. They may not always have a complete plan, but they
can start the journey because they have an end in mind.

3. Be Flexible: If you are on track to your goals, keep doing what you
are doing. However, if you don’t seem to be getting the results you
want, in turn try something different. If that doesn’t work, try
something else. As long as you always keep the result you want in
mind and are infinitely flexible in your behavior, then eventually you
will find the right methods to use to achieve your desired result. Be
tenacious.

The process of modeling will help you to be flexible (see pp. 180-1). A
model of success in any behavior will provide a very clear example of
the ways in which you need to change to get the result you want.
4. Be Aware: To be flexible, you need ‘sensory acuity’ – which
basically means being aware in every situation.

Awareness Exercise:
• What results are you getting from the action you are taking?
• Are they effective?
• Is there something that you need to change?

These questions will help you to steer you in the right direction to
achieve your outcome.

Exercise - Changing Your State:

Here is a technique for changing the pictures in your head and therefore
changing your state:
1. Think of a time in the past when something happened to you that you
weren’t happy about.

2. Notice how you feel when you think about this experience.

3. Now notice how you are holding your body.

4. Clear the internal picture screen.

5. Now, remember a particular time in the past when you felt happy or
super-confident.

6. Notice how you feel as you remember what happened.

7. Now notice how you are holding your body.

It is important to learn how making negative and positive pictures in

your mind affects your body and your state.

Exercise - Changing Physiology and State:

1. Consider how you would like to feel at the moment (maybe
motivated, if you need to get something done, or loving, if you need to
talk to a partner or child).
2. Now SHAKE YOUR BODY OUT to lose whatever state you are
currently in.

3. Shift your body until you can feel the desired emotion. You can sit,
stand upright or move to get into ‘state’.

4. Take a deep breath and breathe the way you would if you were in the
state.

5. Change your facial expression to match your desired state.

RAPPORT SKILLS
Rapport is one of the, if not the most important skill in interpersonal
interactions. The concept of rapport is based on the notion that people
like people who are like themselves and dislike people who are dislike
themselves. When a person likes someone they are much more likely to
work with that person.
Can you remember an experience when you met someone for the very
first time and you felt an immediate connection with that person?
Perhaps you felt like you had known this person all your life. That is
the experience of being in rapport. Being in or out of rapport with your
subject can make or break the success of your work with them.
So, how do we establish rapport with someone? There are a half dozen
key elements in establishing rapport. They are essentially the areas that
will allow you to be more like the other person.

1. Mirroring: The first area is physically mirroring the subject. The

idea is to copy, even if subtly the subject’s posture, gestures,
expressions and other movements. You do not have to be right on top
of the person’s movements and the second he or she crosses their arms
you do the same. You will want to have a bit of a delay and while the
closer you can copy their posture, etc, you can approximate their
posture just as effectively. After you pace the other person’s
movements and posture for a while you can lead them. Try changing
your posture and see if the other person follows. This is one way to
check and see if you have established rapport.

2. Match Breathing: The next area is to match the subject’s breathing.

You can either pace someone’s breathing by matching your breath to
theirs or you can also do things like tap a foot in time with their breath.
As with physical mirroring, after you pace the person’s breathing for a
while you can then begin to lead.

3. Representational System: Third, is to determine the subject’s

primary representational system and present information in the same
representational system. As you pace the person’s representational
system you can lead them into other representational systems. When
you lead a subject into a different representational system you
effectively lead them into an altered state of consciousness.

4. Match Voice: The fourth is to match the subject’s voice. This

includes volume, tone, tempo, and the timbre (texture of their voice).

5. Match Information: Fifth, is to match the size and quality of the

pieces of information the person presents. Persons who deal with large
less detailed pieces of information will become frustrated when
presented with smaller more detailed pieces of information.
Conversely, a person who handles information in small detailed pieces
will quickly become bored with someone who presents large general
pieces of information.

6. Create a Bond: Finally, common experience is the glue that binds

us together. If we can relate to a person’s experiences, beliefs, values
and interests and show we have some commonality with them they are
more likely to feel a bond to us.
For some the ability to build rapport seems to come naturally and
almost magically. The rest of us need to practice.

SUBMODALITIES
Our mental pictures, sounds and feelings all have certain qualities.
These qualities are the submodalities. Submodalities code our
experience of reality, certainty and time. Changing submodalities
allows us to change the meaning of our experience.

Exercise - Mental Rehearsal

The technique known as ‘mental rehearsal’ fixes an outcome as a real
experience in your future. Your brain processes it as if it is already real.
1. Think about an outcome you have clarified.
2. Imagine that you are already achieving that outcome. For example, if
you want to ski down a red run, see yourself already doing it through
your own eyes. Feel and hear the snow beneath your skis.
3. If any negative inner voices pipe up with reasons why this won’t
work, notice the purpose of this self – talk.
4. Can you change this self – talk? Are there any limiting beliefs or
emotions to deal with?
5. Repeat making the pictures. Practice makes perfect.

ANCHORING
Definition:
Anchoring in NLP is a term used for the process by which we apply a
gesture, touch or sound at the peak of a state, either in oneself or
someone else. The said anchored state can then be recalled or re-
activated by reapplying the gesture, touch or sound.
Anchoring happens when the brain links two things together
neurologically. We are always using anchors, all the time. When you
see a movie or a picture from the past that moves you, hear a song that
takes you back, feel a feeling that reminds you of another place and
time, or smell that smell of home cooking, those are all anchors. They
are all linked to past experiences and bring back the emotions,
immediately.
The Four Keys to Anchoring:
1. The Intensity of the Experience
2. The Timing of the Anchor
3. The Uniqueness of the Anchor
4. The Replication of the Stimulus

Everyday Anchors
Auditory
Train whistle; motorcycle motor
Visual
A smile; a fist gesture
Olfactory/gustatory (smell/taste)
Fresh bread; cigarette smoke
Kinesthetic (touch and feel)
A hand on your back; freshly laundered sheets

ANCHORING FOR SELF-CONFIDENCE

Uses: This exercise will enable you to be extra-confident during
interviews, public speaking, presentations, performing on stage,
social situations and meeting new people.
1. Sit down, close your eyes and remember a time when you felt really
confident. Picture in your mind what you see, hear what you heard and
feel what you felt. Now enhance those images. Make the pictures
brighter and bolder, the colors richer, the sounds louder and the
feelings stronger.

2. When you can feel a burst of that confidence quite strongly, carry
out a specific action like squeezing your thumb and your middle finger
together. That will link in your mind the feeling of confidence with the
finger squeeze.

3. Go through that routine ten times in a row to reinforce that link

between your fingers and the feeling of confidence. Eventually it will
mean that you will only have to squeeze your fingers together and you
will begin to easily remember that confidence.

4. Now think about the event you want to be confident for. Imagine the
event going as smoothly and as perfectly as you can while all the time
squeezing your thumb and finger together re-triggering that confident
feeling.

5. You will notice a difference in your confidence this time. Every time
you do this you send a very strong message to your unconscious mind
that you want to be more confidence at that particular time in the
future. I have known some people to wipe out a lifelong fear of public
speaking with this one simple exercise.

Exercise: Resource Anchors

A resource anchor is an anchor you set to change your emotional state
and introduce positive resources into a situation. Set them up in six
steps:
1. Decide On A Positive State: What state would be the most positive
for you in a particular context? Here are a few to consider: happy,
joyful, confident, highly motivated, completely relaxed, loving, elated.
What if you were nervous about a meeting? What would be a good
emotion to be feeling as you walk through the door? Choose a strong
experience and a compelling state.
2. Elicit And Calibrate The State: Think of the state you want to
anchor. Elicit it by recalling a time when you felt that way naturally.
Make sure you are associated into the past experience, as if you are
there now. (A dissociated memory won’t evoke the same emotion.) If
this is difficult, shift your body around.

Instruct yourself: ‘Think of a time when you felt this positive state. Go
back to this time. See what you saw. Feel what you felt. Hear what you
heard.’ Once you are experiencing the feeling as if it is happening to
you now, apply an anchor (stimulus) at its peak. Next time you want to
recall the feeling, just reapply the anchor and you will feel the same
way.
If you are working with another person, model the state you want him
to get into – i.e., adjust your body and get into the state yourself. Then
ask him questions to guide him into the state. If you have good rapport
with the person, you can lead him there
You will need to calibrate him to make sure that he is feeling the
appropriate amount of emotion. (Remember, ‘to calibrate’ means ‘to
observe what changes are happening in another person using your
power of observation’).
3. Select An Anchor: Choose an anchor – it can be a visual, auditory or
kinesthetic. A good kinesthetic anchor would be to touch your knuckle
because it is not a place that people normally touch. Another would be
your heart.

4. Anchor the State: As the feeling approaches its peak of intensity,

anchor it by touching your knuckle with your finger. As soon as the
experience peaks, let go (to avoid anchoring a second state). Hold your
finger down for 5 – 15 seconds, no more.

If you want, you can anchor more than one state at a time. Break state
(see p.46) by thinking about something else for a few seconds. If you
are anchoring someone else, ask him an unrelated question to take his
mind out of the previous state. Anchor the next state in the same place
in the same way.
Break state and then continue stacking several states in this manner.
You can add to this anchor any time you are in a positive state so that it
will become more powerful every time you use it.
5. Test the Anchor: See whether it works by touching the same place
on your knuckle with your finger. If you have anchored the state(s)
correctly you will observe a shift in yourself (or the other person). Is
the feeling as compelling as you want it to be? If not, go back and stack
more states (or the same state again).

6. Future Pace: Think of a situation where in the past you might have
felt negative. (Or take the other person through this process.) Imagine
firing off the anchor. How positive do you feel at this point in the
future?

Exercise: Collapsing Anchors

1. Choose the negative or unresourceful state you are going to collapse.

2. Choose appropriate positive states to stack. You can either stack one
state as a resource anchor several times or choose several different
positive states.

3. Anchor the positive states you have chosen onto one of your/the
person’s knuckles in the same way as for a resource anchor. Repeat this
several times. If you are working with another person, make sure he is
associated into the states. Help him by getting into the states too.

4. Break state. If you are working with another person, ask him to do
something to focus his attention elsewhere for a few minutes. This
takes you out of the positive states.

5. Elicit and calibrate the negative state. Anchor the negative state once
only on a different knuckle.

6. Fire the two anchors together by touching the knuckles at the same
time. Watch as the states come up to peak and integration takes place.

7. If working with another person, calibrate to check that integration

has taken place. You will notice changes in his skin color, breathing
and other physical changes within a few seconds.
8. As soon as integration has occurred, release your finger from the
negative anchor first while continuing to hold down the positive anchor
for a further 5 seconds.

9. Break state. When you are working with someone else, ask him to
do something to focus his attention elsewhere for a few minutes.

10. Test the anchor. Fire the negative anchor by touching your knuckle
or asking the other person to touch his knuckle. If it works, you will
feel/notice a neutral rather than a negative state.

Health & Healing:

Step 1. Set aside at least 30 minutes for a multi-channel healing
session.
Step 2. Create an imagination of yourself (using all of your channels)
being in perfect health and free of any disease.
Step 3. Make this image as literal or fanciful as you choose.
Step 4. Create a trigger.
Step 5. Imagine yourself firing your trigger and living a disease-free
existence.
Step 6. Use multiple trigger to reinforce you health promoting imagery.

Physical Performance:
Step 1. Decide which physical skills you want to learn or improve.
Step 2. Study a model of your chosen skills being successfully
performed.
Step 3. Using your imagination, create a picture of yourself
successfully performing these skills.
Step 4. Now, step into the picture and experience the performance.
Step 5. If it doesn’t feel right, step outside the picture and adjust your
actions.
Step 6. Go back into the picture and try it again.
Step 7. If it feels right, create a trigger.
Step 8. Imagine yourself in the future, firing your trigger and using
your new skill.

Replace Bad Habits With Positive Actions:

Step 1. Select the target behavior you want to change.
Step 2. Set up communication with the “unit” in charge.
Step 3. Establish trust with the “Unit”
Step 4. Get clear communications.
Step 5. Ask the “unit” what its positive purpose is.
Step 6. Engage the “unit” in the change process.
Step 7. Use you creative “units” to find substitute behaviors.
Step 8. Use only those new behaviors that all of yours “u8nits” agree
to.
Step 9. Create a trigger for the new system.
Step 10. Mentally rehearse the new system.

CIRCLE OF EXCELLENCE

What could you accomplish if you had more confidence when you
wanted it? Which positive feelings from your past would you want to
re-experience if you could transfer them from where they happened in
your life to where you really want them? The Circle of Excellence will
do just that.
1. Relive Confidence. Stand up and let yourself go back to a time when
you were very confident, abundantly confident. Relive that moment,
seeing what you saw and hearing what you heard.

2. Circle of Excellence. As you feel the confidence building in you,

imagine a colored circle on the floor around your feet. What color
would you like your circle to be? Would you like it also to have a
sound like a soft hum that indicates how powerful it is? When that
feeling of confidence is at its fullest, step out of that circle, leaving
those confident feelings inside the circle. This is an unusual request,
and you can do it.

3. Selecting Cues. Now think of a specific time in your future when

you want to have the same feeling of confidence. See and hear what
will be there just before you want to feel confident. The cue could be
your boss’s office door, your office phone, or hearing yourself being
introduced before a speech.

4. Linking. As soon as those cues are clear in your mind, step back into
the circle and feel those confident feelings again. Imagine that situation
unfolding around you in the future with these confident feelings fully
available to you.
5. Check Results. Now step out of the circle again, leaving those
confident feelings there in the circle. Outside the circle, take a moment
and think again of the upcoming event. You’ll find you’ll automatically
recall those confident feelings. This means you’ve already
preprogrammed yourself for that upcoming event. You’re feeling better
about it and it hasn’t even happened yet. When it arrives, you’ll find
yourself naturally responding more confidently.