Module 1
hapter 1: Value yourself: Realize, Understand, Label, Express & Regulate your emotions
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(RULER Principle)
efinition: Emotional intelligence is the ability to perceive emotion, integrate emotion to
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facilitate thought, understand emotions, and to regulate emotions to promote personal growth.
The concept of emotional intelligencewasfirstintroducedbyresearchersJohnD.Mayerand
Peter Salovey.
motional Intelligence is broken into the “four branch model” (as it is often called). These
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include:
1 . Perceiving Emotion – is the ability to identify and express emotions and emotional needs
accurately to others. It is the ability to decode emotional signals in facial expressions,toneof
voice and artistic expression. This is considered an experiential component of Emotional
Intelligence, as it is about a person’s basic ability to process or “experience” emotional
information.
2 . Facilitating Thought – is the ability to use emotiontofacilitatethinking,problemsolving,
reasoning and focus. This is about blending emotion and thinking while being aware of how
emotionmightbeaffectingyourthoughts.Thisisalsoconsideredanexperientialcomponentof
Emotional Intelligence.
3 . Understanding Emotion – is defining complex emotional blends and understanding
emotionaltransitions.Thisistheabilitytounderstandhowemotionsmightcombine,changeand
manifest over time. This is considered a strategic component of Emotional Intelligence.
4 .ManagingEmotions–istheabilitytomanageemotionsappropriatelyandsuccessfully.Itis
the ability to beopentoemotionalinformationwhenimportant,andclosedtoitwhenitisnot,
then effectively include emotion into thought. This is considered a strategic component of
Emotional Intelligence.
he RULER Principle,developedbytheYaleCenterforEmotionalIntelligence,providesa
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structuredframeworktoenhanceemotionalintelligenceandoverallwell-being.Thisprincipleis
anacronymrepresentingRecognizing,Understanding,Labeling,Expressing,andRegulating
emotions. A detailedexplorationofeachcomponentelucidatestheirindividualcontributionsto
personal growth and self-appreciation:
1. Recognize:
● Definition: The ability to identify emotions as they arise.
● Application: Cultivate an awareness of your physical and mental state, noting
fluctuations in mood or energy levels. Practices such as mindfulness and
self-reflection can enhance your ability to recognize emotions.
2. Understand:
● Definition: The capacity to comprehend the causes and implications of emotions.
● A pplication: Engage in introspection to discern the origins and triggers of
emotions. Understanding the context and causes aids in effectively managing
them.
3. Label:
● Definition: The skill of accurately identifying and naming emotions.
● Application: Develop a rich emotional vocabulary. Utilize precise terms (e.g.,
"anxious," "frustrated," "elated") instead of general descriptors like "bad" or
"upset." Accurate labeling is crucial for addressing emotions properly.
4 . Express:
● Definition: The ability to communicate emotions appropriately.
● Application: Convey the feelings constructively using "I" statements to express
howyoufeelwithoutassigningblame(e.g.,"Ifeeldisappointedwhen...").Ensure
that you choose appropriate times and settings for expressing strong emotions.
5. Regulate:
● Definition: The skill of managing emotions effectively.
● Application: Implement strategies to handle emotions healthily, such as deep
breathing,takingbreaks,engaginginphysicalactivities,orconfidinginatrusted
individual. Theobjectiveistorespondthoughtfullyratherthanreactimpulsively
to emotional stimuli.
hapter2:QuietyourMind:PracticeMindfulness(livinginpresent),Concentration(attention
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& focus) & Relaxation (breathing exercises)
hat is mindfulness?
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Mindfulnessmeansremainingattentiveandfocusedonthepresentmoment.Mindfulnessisboth
askill(techniquesyoucanlearnanddevelop)andawayoflife(likeanintegralcharactertrait)
thatallowsyoutoexperienceyourself,others,andsituationsatfacevalueratherthananxiously
worrying about the future. Mindfulness is focusing purposefully on the present moment with
openawareness,allowingyourselftoletgoofevaluationssoyoucanloveyourself,others,and
your life.
he goal of mindfulness is to wake up to the inner workings of our mental, emotional, and
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physical processes. Mindfulness exercises can include deep breathing, visualization, and
journaling.
indfulness Vs. Meditation
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Mindfulness and meditation are similar but are not identical practices. Both share the
fundamental quality of calming and focusing the mind. However, meditation is the formal
exercise of sitting quietly, turning your attention inward, and focusing on something specific.
That something depends on the type of mediation.
Mindfulness can be a type of meditation but also exists independently as an informal and
intentional experience. Mindfulness is using your senses to pull your wanderingmindintothe
present so youcanfullyexperienceit.Mindfulnessdoesnothappeninaspecificblockoftime
but is an integral part of life.
enefits of Mindfulness
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Mindfulness changes how you approach problems to respond thoughtfully ratherthanreacting
with negative thoughts and emotions. Racing thoughts, negative beliefs, regrets, or worries
dissipate when your mindisfullofthepresentmomentanditssensoryexperiences.Beloware
the benefits of mindfulness:
ecreasedanxiety:Redirectingyourselftothepresentwhenstuckinworriesaboutthepastor
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future teaches yourbrainwhattopayattentionto.Anxietiesshrinkinimportancewhenyoudo
not focus on them.
Reduced depression: Depression often involves automatic, distorting, and all-consuming
negative thoughts. Depression symptoms begin to ease when you replace rumination with
non-judgemental observations about the present moment.
Self-acceptance: Practicing mindfulness involves observingyourselfneutrallyineachmoment
as it unfolds. Your self-confidence boosts as you drop harsh labels and negative judgments.
Emotional and behavioral regulation: Mindfulness grounds you in the present moment and
helps you see things neutrally, encouraging you to pause and choose responses thoughtfully
rather than reacting strongly or irrationally.
Increasedattentionspan:Youboostyourabilitytofocusandsustainattentionasyoutrainyour
mind to concentrate on sensations or experiences in the present moment.
Better sleep: Mindfulness increases the length and quality of sleep, something that in and of
itself improves mental and physical health.
Reduction in pain: Chronic pain can demand your full attention, further reducing your pain.
Mindfulness helps turn your attention elsewhere to help you experience positive sensations.
Improved immune system function: Practicing mindfulness exercises can boost the immune
system to keep you healthy.
indfulness Used in Therapy:
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Mindfulness practices, and exercises do not always require professional guidance. However,
several formal mental health therapies incorporate mindfulness because of its many benefits,
such as Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction (MBSR), Mindfulness-Based Cognitive Therapy
(MBCT), Acceptance And Commitment Therapy(ACT),DialecticalBehaviorTherapy(DBT),
and Mindfulness-Based Pain Management.
indfulness-Based Stress Reduction (MBSR)
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MBSR is a formal, research-supported program practiced in group settings, such as hospitals,
schools, and clinics. This therapy typically lasts eight weeks andusesmindfulnessmeditation,
yoga, and education to reduce stress, anxiety, depression, and/or pain.
indfulness-Based Cognitive Therapy (MBCT)
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MBCTcombinescognitive-behavioraltherapy(CBT)andmindfulnesspractices.Participantsin
MBC learn CBT techniques to challenge and change negative thoughts and mindfulness
exercises,suchasmeditationandbreathcontrol,toshiftattentionandcalmemotions.Research
has shown that MBCT is helpful for depression, anxiety disorders, and addictions.
Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT)
indfulness is one of the major components of acceptance and commitment therapy.InACT,
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peopleworkwithatherapisttolearnandapplytheprinciplesofacceptance,defusion(separating
themselves fromtheirthoughtsandemotions),mindfulness,andself-observationtodefinetheir
values and create action plans to live accordingly. Mindfulness assists clients in learning and
applying the other aspects of this therapeutic approach.
ialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT)
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DBTisatherapeuticapproachthathelpspeoplegainskillstodealwithemotionalproblemsand
unhelpful behaviors that interferewiththeirlives.Mindfulnessexerciseshelppeopleshifttheir
focus to break out of negative thoughts and feelings that keep them stuck.
indfulness-Based Pain Management
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Whilenotaformaltreatmentprogramortherapy,mindfulness-basedpainmanagementhasbeen
showntohelppeoplewithchronicpainimprovethequalityoftheirlives.Mindfulnessdoesnot
directlytreatunderlyingcausesofpainbutcanreducesubjectiveexperiencesofpain.Onestudy
showed practicing mindfulness reduces activity in the parts of the brain that manage pain
messaging.
Concentration" refers to the mental and cognitive ability to focus one's attention on a
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particulartask,activity,orstimuluswhileignoringorminimizingdistractions.Concentrationisa
fundamentalaspectofcognitivefunctioningandiscriticalforvariousdailyactivities,including
studying, working, problem-solving, and even leisure activities. The ability to concentrate
effectively can have a significant impact on an individual's productivity, performance, and
overall well-being.
ur ability to concentrate depends on
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• commitment
• enthusiasm for the task
• skill at doing the task
• our emotional, physical and psychological state
• our environment
elaxation techniques are therapeutic exercises designed to assist individuals by decreasing
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tension and anxiety. Relaxation therapy has been a part of psychotherapy for ages; however,
thesetechniquescanbeexpandedtoincludediverseenvironmentsascomplementarytherapiesto
treat stress, anxiety, depression, and pain.
ypes of relaxation techniques:
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Relaxation techniques generally involve focus and awareness. Relaxation techniques include:
utogenic relaxation. Autogenic means something that comes from within you. In this
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relaxation activity, you use both visual imagery and body awareness to lower stress.
ourepeatwordsorsuggestionsinyourmindthatmayhelpyourelaxandlessenmuscletension.
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Forexample,youmayimagineapeacefulsetting.Thenyoucanfocusonrelaxingyourbreathing
o rslowingyourheartrate.Oryoumayfeeldifferentphysicalsenses,suchasrelaxingeacharm
or leg one by one.
rogressive muscle relaxation. In progressive muscle relaxation,youfocusonslowlytensing
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andthenrelaxingeachmusclegroup.Thiscanhelpyoufocusonthedifferencebetweenmuscle
tension and relaxation. You can become more aware of physical sensations.
I n one type of progressive muscle relaxation, you start to tense and relax the musclesinyour
toes. You gradually work yourwayuptoyourneckandhead.Thisisbestdoneinaquietarea
without interruptions. You alsocanstartwithyourheadandneckandworkdowntoyourtoes.
Tense your muscles for about five seconds and then relax for 30 seconds, and repeat.
isualization. In visualization, you may form mental pictures to take a visual journey to a
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peaceful, calming place or situation.
orelaxusingvisualization,trytouseasmanysensesasyoucan,suchassmell,sight,soundand
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touch. If you imagine relaxing at the ocean, think about the salt water's smell, the sound of
crashingwavesandthefeelofthewarmsunonyourbody.Youmaywanttocloseyoureyesand
sit in a quiet spot. Loosen anytightclothingandfocusonyourbreathing.Aimtofocusonthe
present and think positive thoughts.
hapter 3:Know your personality: Body-mapping ofemotions, Multiple Intelligence, Personality
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types & understanding persona (situation-specific Thought-Feeling-Expression-Action)
1 .Body-MappingofEmotions:Body-mappingofemotionsreferstothewaydifferentemotions
are experienced and felt in various parts of the body. Research has shown that people often
associate specific bodily sensations with particular emotions. For example:
● H appiness: Often experienced as a warm, light sensation in the chest and head,
sometimes accompanied by a tingling sensation in the extremities.
● Sadness: Can be felt as a heavy, sinking feeling in the chest and limbs, often
accompanied by tension in the shoulders and neck.
● Anger:Typicallymanifestsasahot,risingsensationintheupperbody,especiallyaround
the face and shoulders, with clenched fists and tightened muscles.
● Fear: Often felt as a cold, gripping sensation in the chest and stomach, with tense
muscles and a heightened awareness of one's surroundings.
● Surprise: Characterized by a sudden, jolting sensation throughout the body, often
accompanied by wide eyes and an open mouth.
heoryofMultipleIntelligencesuggeststhattraditionalpsychometricviewsofintelligenceare
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too limited. Gardner first outlinedhistheoryinhis1983bookFramesofMind:TheTheoryof
Multiple Intelligences, where he suggested that all people have different kinds of "intelligences."
ardnerproposedthatthereareeightintelligences,andhassuggestedthepossibleadditionofa
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ninth known as "existentialist intelligence.
1 .LinguisticIntelligence:Thisformofintelligencerelatestoanindividual’sabilitytothinkin
words and use language to express complex meanings. This could include both written and
spoken language, as well as composed and spontaneous speech. Writers, poets, and public
speakers often have high linguistic intelligence.
2 . Logical-Mathematical Intelligence: This involves logical reasoning and problem-solving,
especially in scientific and mathematical contexts. Thismeasure,pluslinguisticintelligence,is
equivalent to the skills measured by the traditional IQ test. Engineers, mathematicians,
programmers, and scientists usually excel in this area.
3 .MusicalIntelligence:Peoplewithmusicalintelligencehaveastrongappreciationforrhythm,
composition, and sound. This ability could extend to those with an appreciation of sound and
acoustics such as rappers, sound artists, and impersonators. Musicians, composers, and sound
engineers are examples of individuals with high musical intelligence.
4 .Bodily-KinestheticIntelligence:Thisreferstotheabilitytouseone’sbodytosolveproblems
orcreateproducts.Itissometimesaccompaniedbyaformofmusicalintelligenceandcanresult
in humans capable of physical feats that the rest of usfindastonishing.Athletes,dancers,and
craftspeople often display high levels of bodily-kinesthetic intelligence.
5 .SpatialIntelligence:Thisintelligencepertainstotheabilitytovisualizetheworldaccurately
and transform or modifyperceptions.Thespatialrotationtestssometimesfoundinintelligence
testsmeasureacomponentofthisability.Architects,artists,andpilotsfrequentlyexhibitstrong
spatial intelligence.
6 . Interpersonal Intelligence: This involves understanding other people’s motivations,
emotions, and intentions. This is sometimes known as ‘emotional intelligence’ or simply
empathy. Teachers, therapists, and salespeople usually excel in interpersonal intelligence.
7 . Intrapersonal Intelligence: Intrapersonal intelligence is about understanding oneself,
knowing one’s emotions, motivations, and thoughts. Writers of memoirs or thought leaders in
business must develop this skill to construct a compelling narrative around their lives and
careers. Philosophers, psychologists, and spiritual leaders often have high intrapersonal
intelligence.
8 . Naturalistic Intelligence: This relates to the ability to understand,appreciate,andthrivein
the natural world. Many tribal people possess this type of intelligence more keenly than their
more ‘civilized’ city-dwelling neighbors. Ecologists, farmers, and gardeners commonly
demonstrate strong naturalistic intelligence.
9 . Existential Intelligence: Sensitivity and capacity to tackle deep questions about human
existence, such as the meaning of life, why do we die, and how did we get here. Scientists,
philosophers, theologians are examples of individuals with Existential Intelligence.
ersonality: Know your persona
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ThewordpersonalityisderivedfromtheGreekwordpersonawhichmeansmaskusedbyactors
in theaters.
Personality is the dynamic organization within the individual of those psychophysicalsystems
that determine his unique adjustments to the environment.- Allport.
Allport’s definition is the most widely accepted and most comprehensive definition of
personality.
Big Five Personality Traits: The 5-Factor Model of Personality
I n the late 1970s and early 1980s, Costa and McCrae, likemostotherfactorresearchers,were
buildingelaboratetaxonomiesofpersonalitytraits,buttheywerenotusingtheseclassifications
to generate testable hypotheses. Instead, they were simply using factor analytic techniques to
examine the stability and structure ofpersonality.Duringthistime,CostaandMcCraefocused
initiallyonthetwomaindimensionsofneuroticismandextraversion.Almostimmediatelyafter
theydiscoveredNandE,CostaandMcCraefoundathirdfactor,whichtheycalledopennessto
experience. Most of Costa and McCrae’s early work remained focused on these three
dimensions.
As late as 1983, McCrae and Costa were arguing for a three-factor model of personality. Not
until1985didtheybegintoreportworkonthefivefactorsofpersonality.Thisworkculminated
in their new five-factor personality inventory: the NEO-PI (Costa & McCrae, 1985). The
NEO-PI was a revision of an earlier unpublished personality inventorythatmeasuredonlythe
first three dimensions: N, E, and O. In the 1985 inventory, the last two dimensions —
agreeableness and conscientiousness — were still the least well-developed scales, having no
subscales associated with them. Costa and McCrae (1992) did not fully develop the A and C
scales until the Revised NEO-PI appeared in 1992.
penness to experience refers to one’s willingness to try new things as well as engage in
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imaginative and intellectual activities. It includes the ability to “think outside of the box.”
Conscientiousness describes a person’s ability to regulate impulse control to engage in
goal-directed behaviors
Extraversion reflects the tendencyandintensitytowhichsomeoneseeksinteractionwiththeir
environment,particularlysocially.Itencompassesthecomfortandassertivenesslevelsofpeople
in social situations.
Agreeableness refers to how people tend to treat relationships with others. Agreeableness
focuses on people’s orientation and interactions with others.
Neuroticism refers to a tendency tooverreactemotionallyandtohavedifficultyreturningtoa
normal state after emotional activity.
hapter 4: Motivate Yourself: Extrinsic Motivation (reward & punishment) and Intrinsic
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Motivation (sense of purpose & mastery)
otivation: Motivation is the driving force behind our actions, influencing our behavior,
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choices,andgoals.Itdetermineswhywedowhatwedoandplaysacrucialroleinoursuccess
and well-being. It can broadly be classified into two main categories: extrinsic and intrinsic
otivation. Understanding both types of motivation and how they work can help individuals
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effectively motivate themselves.
xtrinsic Motivation: Extrinsic motivation involves external factors or incentives that drive
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behavior. This type of motivation is based ontheexpectationofreceivingrewardsoravoiding
punishments.
ewards:Extrinsicrewardscanincludetangibleitemslikemoney,gifts,orrecognitionsuchas
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praise or awards. They provide immediate reinforcement for desired behaviors and serve as
incentivestocontinuethosebehaviorsinthefuture.Forexample,employeesmaybemotivated
to work harder if they know they will receive a bonus for meeting certain targets.
unishments:Conversely,extrinsicmotivationcanalsoinvolveavoidingnegativeconsequences
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or punishments. This could beanythingfromcriticism,demotion,orlossofprivileges.Fearof
punishmentcanactasapowerfulmotivatortodeterindividualsfromengaginginbehaviorsthat
mayresultinadverseoutcomes.Forinstance,studentsmaybemotivatedtostudyhardertoavoid
failing a class and facing the consequences from their parents or teachers.
I ntrinsic Motivation: Intrinsic motivation arises from within the individual and is driven by
internalfactorssuchaspersonalvalues,interests,andsatisfactionderivedfromtheactivityitself.
Whenindividualsareintrinsicallymotivated,theyengageinbehaviorsortasksbecausetheyfind
them inherently enjoyable, interesting, or personally meaningful, rather than for any external
reward or consequence.
enseofPurpose:Intrinsicmotivationoftenarisesfromasenseofpurposeormeaningattached
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tothetaskorgoal.Individualsaremotivatedbecausetheybelieveinthevalueofwhattheyare
doing, and they find fulfillment in pursuing it. For example, someone passionate about
environmental conservation may feel intrinsically motivated to volunteer for clean-up efforts
because they care deeply about protecting the planet.
astery: Another aspect of intrinsic motivationisthedesireformasteryorself-improvement.
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People are motivated to develop their skills and abilities, overcome challenges, and achieve
personal growth. The satisfaction derived from mastering a new skill or accomplishing a
challengingtaskisoftenitsownreward.Forexample,amusicianmaybemotivatedtopractice
diligentlytoimprovetheirperformancebecausetheyfindjoyandfulfillmentinmasteringtheir
instrument.
our General Approaches to Motivation:
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Motivation is a vastandcomplicatedsubjectencompassingmanytheories.Sometheorieswere
developedthroughworkwithanimalsinlaboratories.Othersarebasedonresearchwithhumans
in situations using games and puzzles.
Four Views of Motivation
Behavioral Humanistic Cognitive Socio-cultural
ource of
S Extrinsic Intrinsic Intrinsic Intrinsic
Motivation
Important einforcers,
R eed for
N eliefs, attributes
B ngaged
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Influences reward, self-esteem, for success and participation,
incentives self-fulfillment and failure maintaining identity
and punishers self-determination expectations in communities
Key Theorist Skinner Maslow Weiner Graham Lave Wenger
hapter5:Goalsetting:Setrealisticgoals,makeitSMART(Specific,Measurable,Attainable,
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Relevant & Time-bound), prepare an Action Plan
goal is an achievable outcome that is generally broad and longer term. The SMART goals
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concept is commonly attributed to Peter Drucker, author of Management by Objectives. The
first-knownuseofthetermwasintheNovember1981issueofManagementReviewbyGeorge
T. Doran.
S Specific hat will you achieve? What
W tart by asking exactly what you need to
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will you do? accomplish. This will make your goal
specific.
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hat data will you use to decide Q
uantifyyourgoals.Measurablegoalsare
whether you've met the goal? easier to track, so build in milestones.
A Achievable re you sure you can do this?
A our goal should be achievable. Is this
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Do you have the right skills and something you can do with theresources
resources? at your disposal?
R Relevant oes the goal align with those
D hink about whyyou’resettingthisgoal.
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of your team or organization? How will it improve your life or career?
How will the result matter? This is what makes it relevant.
T Time-bound W
hat is the deadline for now exactly when you’ll have reached
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accomplishing the goal? yourgoal.Haveafirmschedule,andstick
to it.
xample: Let’s say you’re a marketing executive, and you
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think you'd like to become head of marketing. This is a
specific goal. You might measure your goal of gaining the
skills to become head of marketing by deciding it will take
five years. Ask yourself whether gaining these skills is
achievable, based on your existing experience and
q ualifications. Are you at the right point in yourcareer?Isitrelevanttowhatyouwant?Give
yourself a realistic time frame for accomplishing the smaller goals that are necessary to
achieving your final objective.
hat is an action plan?
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Anactionplanisadocumentthatlaysoutthetasksyouneedtocompleteinordertoaccomplish
yourgoal.Italsobreaksuptheprocessintoactionableassignmentsbasedonatimeline.Agood
action plan will outline all the necessary steps to achieve your goal and help you reach your
target efficiently by assigning a timeframe—astartandenddate—toeverystepintheprocess.
Depending on your needs and preferences, you canusethisdocumenttosetsingleormultiple
goals.