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Writing 1

The document discusses the debate on whether teenagers should pursue higher education or enter the workforce immediately after high school. It presents arguments for both sides, highlighting the benefits of immediate employment such as financial independence and gaining experience, while also emphasizing the advantages of university education, including better job prospects and higher salaries. Ultimately, the author believes that continuing studies is more beneficial for long-term career success.

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Hà Anh Ngô
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0% found this document useful (0 votes)
5 views7 pages

Writing 1

The document discusses the debate on whether teenagers should pursue higher education or enter the workforce immediately after high school. It presents arguments for both sides, highlighting the benefits of immediate employment such as financial independence and gaining experience, while also emphasizing the advantages of university education, including better job prospects and higher salaries. Ultimately, the author believes that continuing studies is more beneficial for long-term career success.

Uploaded by

Hà Anh Ngô
Copyright
© © All Rights Reserved
We take content rights seriously. If you suspect this is your content, claim it here.
Available Formats
Download as DOCX, PDF, TXT or read online on Scribd

Topic

Some people believe that studying at university or college is the best route to a successful career,
while others believe that it is better to get a job straight after school. Discuss both views and give
your opinion.

Your Response
When they finish school, teenagers face the dilemma of whether to get a job or continue their education.
While there are some benefits to getting a job straight after school, I would argue that it is better to go to
college or university.

The option to start work straight after school is attractive for several reasons. As many young people want
to earn money as soon as possible, they work at an early age. In this way, they can become independent,
they can be able to afford their own house and start a family. In regard to the impoverished family, people
starting work straight after school can lessen the family’s financial burden, cut down on the tuition fee or
allowance for eating, learning, etc. In terms of their career, people who start working early, rather than
continue their studies, may progress more quickly. They will have the chance to gain experience and
learn skills related to their chosen profession. This leads to promotion and success in their career.

On the other hand, I believe that it is more beneficial for students to continue their studies. Firstly,
academic qualifications are required in many professions. For instance, you can’t be a doctor, lawyer or
teacher without the relevant degree. As a consequence, universities graduates have access to more and
better job opportunities and tend to earn higher salaries than who have fewer qualifications. Secondly, the
job market nowadays is becoming increasingly competitive due to overpopulation and technological
advancement. In some leading companies, there are hundreds of applicants for a position and their
recruitment process is undoubtedly rigid, involving screening resumes to shortlist qualified candidates. As
a result, the cadidates who have an impressive CV will inviarably be priotised, having an edge over who
only have a high school diploma.

For the reasons mentioned above, it seems to me that students are more likely to be successful in their
careers if they continue their studies beyond school level.

Correct Grammar Errors


When they finish school, teenagers face the dilemma of whether to get a job or continue their education.
While there are some benefits to getting a job straight after school, I would argue that it is better to go to
college or university.

The option to start work straight after school is attractive for several reasons. As many young people want
to earn money as soon as possible, they may work at an early age. In this way, they can become
independent, and they can be able to afford their own house and start a family. In regard to families from
impoverished backgrounds, people starting work straight after school can lessen the family’s financial
burden, cut down on the tuition fee or allowance for eating, learning, etc. In terms of their career, people
who start working early, rather than continue their studies, may progress more quickly. They will have the
chance to gain experience and learn skills related to their chosen profession. This leads to promotion and
success in their career.

On the other hand, I believe that it is more beneficial for students to continue their studies. Firstly,
academic qualifications are required in many professions. For instance, you can’t be a doctor, lawyer or
teacher without the relevant degree. As a consequence, universities' graduates have access to more and
better job opportunities and tend to earn higher salaries than those who have fewer qualifications.
Secondly, the job market nowadays is becoming increasingly competitive due to overpopulation and
technological advancement. In some leading companies, there are hundreds of applicants for a position
and their recruitment process is undoubtedly rigid, involving screening resumes to shortlist qualified
candidates. As a result, the candidates who have an impressive CV will inviarably be priotised, having an
edge over those who only have a high school diploma.

For the reasons mentioned above, it seems to me that students are more likely to be successful in their
careers if they continue their studies beyond school level.

Improve Word Choice


When they finish school, teenagers face the conundrum of whether to secure a job or continue their
education. While there are some benefits to getting a job straight after school, I would argue that it is
better to go to college or university.

The option to start work straight after school is appealing for several reasons. As many young people
want to earn money as soon as possible, they work at an early stage. In this way, they can become
independent, they can be able to afford their own house and start a family. In regard to the impoverished
family, people starting work straight after school can alleviate the family’s financial burden, cut down on
the tuition fee or allowance for eating, learning, etc. In terms of their career, people who start working
early, rather than continue their studies, may progress more rapidly. They will have the chance to gain
experience and learn skills related to their chosen profession. This leads to promotion and success in
their career.

On the other hand, I believe that it is more advantageous for students to continue their studies. Firstly,
academic qualifications are essential in many professions. For instance, you can’t be a doctor, lawyer or
teacher without the relevant degree. As a consequence, universities graduates have access to more and
better job opportunities and tend to earn higher salaries than who have fewer qualifications. Secondly, the
job market nowadays is becoming increasingly competitive due to overpopulation and technological
advancements. In some leading companies, there are hundreds of applicants for a position and their
recruitment process is undoubtedly rigid, involving screening resumes to shortlist qualified candidates. As
a result, the cadidates who have an impressive CV will inviarably be priotised, having an edge over who
only have a high school diploma.

For the reasons mentioned above, it seems to me that students are more likely to be successful in their
careers if they continue their studies beyond school level.

Improve Structure & Argument


TASK TYPE
Discuss both views and give your opinion.

KEY TIPS
● Present Both Sides Fairly: Acknowledge the merits of both arguments before stating your own
position. This strengthens your credibility.
● Specific Examples: Support your arguments with specific examples. Vague statements weaken
your essay.
● Clear Stance: Make sure your opinion is clear throughout the essay, not just in the introduction
and conclusion.

RECOMMENDED ESSAY OUTLINE/STRUCTURE


● Introduction:
○ Briefly introduce the topic: the debate about whether to go to university or start working
after school.
○ State your opinion clearly: you believe university is generally better.
○ Example Topic Sentence: "The decision to pursue higher education or enter the
workforce immediately after secondary school is a pivotal one for young adults, with valid
arguments supporting both paths. While immediate employment offers certain
advantages, I firmly believe that the long-term benefits of university education
significantly outweigh these."
● Body Paragraph 1: Arguments for Starting Work Immediately
○ Topic sentence outlining the main reason: financial independence, relieving family
burden, gaining early experience.
○ Elaborate on each reason with examples.
○ Example Topic Sentence: "One compelling reason for starting work immediately after
school is the opportunity to achieve early financial independence."
● Body Paragraph 2: Arguments for University Education
○ Topic sentence outlining the main reasons: career prospects, higher earning potential,
skills development.
○ Elaborate on each reason with examples.
○ Example Topic Sentence: "Conversely, pursuing a university education provides
individuals with enhanced career prospects and greater earning potential in the long run."
● Conclusion:
○ Restate your opinion in different words.
○ Summarise the main reasons for your opinion.
○ Example Closing Sentence: "Ultimately, while immediate employment may offer short-
term gains, the extensive benefits of university education, including enhanced career
opportunities and personal development, make it the more advantageous path for long-
term success."

Relevant Vocabulary
New Word Word Type Definition

Vocational Adjective Relating to a job or occupation.

Apprenticeship Noun A training programme for a


skilled job.

Tertiary Adjective Relating to higher education.

Lucrative Adjective Producing a great deal of profit.

Prospects Noun Chances or possibilities.

Debt Noun Money owed to someone else.

Curriculum Noun The subjects comprising a


course of study.

Expertise Noun Expert skill or knowledge in a


field.

Innovation Noun A new method, idea, or


product.

Job Security Noun The probability of keeping a


job.

Diversify Sentence Structures


Grammar Structure Original Sentence Rephrased Sentence

Complex Sentence As many young people want to Because many young people
(Adverbial Clause of earn money as soon as aspire to immediate financial
Reason): As/Since/Because + possible, they work at an early earnings, they choose to enter
clause, main clause age. the workforce at a young age.

Inversion with "Not Only": They will have the chance to Not only will they gain valuable
Not only + auxiliary verb + gain experience and learn skills experience, but they will also
subject + main verb, but also + related to their chosen acquire skills directly relevant
subject + verb profession. to their chosen profession.

Relative Clause (Defining): Universities graduates have University graduates, who


Noun + who/which/that + verb access to more and better job possess higher qualifications,
opportunities and tend to earn typically gain access to a
higher salaries than who have greater number of superior job
fewer qualifications. opportunities and tend to earn
higher salaries.

Participial Phrase (Present The job market nowadays is The job market is becoming
Participle): Verb-ing, + clause becoming increasingly increasingly competitive due to
competitive due to overpopulation and
overpopulation and technological advancements,
technological advancement, leading to recruitment
involving screening resumes to processes that involve
shortlist qualified candidates. stringent resume screening to
shortlist qualified candidates.

Conditional Sentence (Mixed People starting work straight If young people started working
Type): If + past perfect, would after school can lessen the immediately after school, they
+ have + past participle / If + family’s financial burden, cut could lessen their family's
past simple, would + verb down on the tuition fee or financial burden and reduce
allowance for eating, learning, the need for financial support
etc. for educational expenses.

Improve Cohesion
Original Text Improved Text Explanation

As many young people want to As many young people want to "Consequently" establishes a
earn money as soon as earn money as soon as stronger cause-and-effect
possible, they work at an early possible, they work at an early relationship between earning
age. In this way, they can age. Consequently, they can money and becoming
become independent... become independent... independent, making the
connection more explicit than
"In this way."

In regard to the impoverished For impoverished families, "Furthermore" provides a


family, people starting work people starting work straight smoother transition and
straight after school can lessen after school can lessen the indicates that you are adding
the family’s financial burden... family’s financial burden... another point to support the
In terms of their career... Furthermore, in terms of their overall argument about the
career... benefits of starting work early,
improving the paragraph's flow.

...universities graduates have ...universities graduates have "Those who" is grammatically


access to more and better job access to more and better job correct and provides a clearer
opportunities and tend to earn opportunities and tend to earn comparison between university
higher salaries than who have higher salaries than those graduates and individuals with
fewer qualifications. who have fewer qualifications. fewer qualifications, improving
the sentence's clarity.

As a result, the cadidates who As a result, the candidates who Similar to the previous point,
have an impressive CV will have an impressive CV will "those who" offers a more
inviarably be priotised, having invariably be prioritised, giving accurate and grammatically
an edge over who only have a them an edge over those who sound comparison between
high school diploma. only have a high school candidates with impressive
diploma. CVs and those with only a high
school diploma.

For the reasons mentioned For the reasons mentioned Replacing "if" with "because"
above, it seems to me that above, it seems to me that strengthens the link between
students are more likely to be students are more likely to be continuing studies and career
successful in their careers if successful in their careers success, implying a direct
they continue their studies... because they continue their causal relationship rather than
studies... just a conditional one.

Model Essays.
Revised Essay.
Vocabulary Level: Band 5.5–6.5 (Intermediate).
When teenagers finish school, they face the choice of whether to get a job or continue their education.
While there are some advantages to getting a job straight after school, I believe that going to college or
university is the better option.

Starting work immediately after school can be appealing for several reasons. Many young people want to
earn money quickly, so they start working at a young age. This way, they can become independent and
potentially afford their own house and start a family. For families with financial problems, young people
working straight after school can reduce the family’s financial burden by decreasing the need for tuition
fees or money for food and study materials. Regarding their career, people who begin working early might
advance faster than those who continue studying. They have the opportunity to gain experience and learn
skills related to their chosen field. This can lead to promotion and career success.

On the other hand, I think it is more beneficial for students to continue their education. Firstly, many
professions require academic qualifications. For example, you cannot become a doctor, lawyer, or
teacher without the necessary degree. Because of this, university graduates generally have access to
more and better job opportunities and tend to earn higher salaries than those with fewer qualifications.
Secondly, the job market is becoming increasingly competitive due to overpopulation and advances in
technology. Some leading companies receive hundreds of applications for each position, and their hiring
processes are very strict, often involving screening CVs to shortlist suitable candidates. Consequently,
candidates with impressive CVs are usually prioritised, giving them an advantage over those who only
have a high school diploma.

For the reasons mentioned above, it seems to me that students are more likely to succeed in their careers
if they continue their studies beyond school.

Band 8.0 - 9.0 Sample Essay.


Vocabulary Level: Band 8.0 - 9.0.
Upon graduating from secondary school, adolescents are often confronted with a pivotal decision: to enter
the workforce immediately or to pursue higher education. While the allure of immediate employment
presents certain advantages, I contend that the long-term benefits of attending university or college far
outweigh these initial gains.

The immediate gratification of earning a salary is undoubtedly a compelling factor for many school
leavers. Entering the workforce directly after graduation allows young adults to achieve financial
independence, potentially alleviating the economic strain on their families. Furthermore, it affords them
the opportunity to acquire practical, on-the-job training, fostering skills that may not be readily attainable
through formal academic channels. Proponents of this approach argue that early exposure to the
professional sphere cultivates a strong work ethic and allows individuals to climb the corporate ladder
more rapidly.

However, the increasingly complex and competitive nature of the modern job market necessitates a more
nuanced perspective. A university education provides individuals with a robust theoretical foundation,
critical thinking skills, and specialized knowledge that are highly valued by employers across diverse
industries. Moreover, a degree often serves as a prerequisite for entry into numerous professional fields,
opening doors to a wider range of career opportunities and potentially higher earning potential. The
structured learning environment of a university fosters intellectual growth, encourages innovation, and
cultivates essential transferable skills such as communication, collaboration, and problem-solving.

In conclusion, while the immediate financial rewards of entering the workforce directly after secondary
school may seem appealing, the long-term benefits of pursuing higher education, including enhanced
career prospects, increased earning potential, and the development of crucial intellectual and professional
skills, ultimately make it the more advantageous path for most individuals seeking a fulfilling and
successful career.

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