🎭 A MATTER OF TIME
CAST (aka Chaos Coordinators):
Narrators – Threya, Lavanya, Ahaan
Sartaj – Procrastination’s Event Horizon
Aaradhya – Human Deadline Detector
Kanishk – Professional Snoozer
Vipansh – The Teacher on the Verge
Atharva – Dramatic Disaster Correspondent
Bhavika – Hope and Prayers Incarnate
Khushi – Quotable Motivator
Jahnavi & Akshita – Caffeine-Fueled Quizmasters
Extras/Students/Medical Crew – The Anxious Mob
🎬 [Bell screams like it saw a ghost. Students stampede in.]
Narrator (Threya): Good morning! Or as teachers dramatically announce, “The
Reckoning!”
Narrator (Lavanya): The biology project. Due today. The one that separates the
try-hards from the strategically unconscious.
[Aaradhya enters, carrying a fortress of meticulously organized folders.]
Narrator (Ahaan): Here’s Aaradhya. Her notes have footnotes. Her folders have
feelings.
Aaradhya: Sartaj! Project status?
[Sartaj ambles in, looking like he wrestled a duvet and the duvet won. He holds a single,
deeply troubled piece of paper.]
Sartaj: Technically? Still gestating. Spiritually? It’s in another dimension.
Narrator (Lavanya): This man once asked ChatGPT, “How to ace without trying?” The AI
short-circuited.
[Kanishk wanders in, clutching a half-eaten sandwich and looking vaguely lost.]
Kanishk: Wait… is this where we dissect frogs or our futures?
Vipansh (staring into the middle distance): It’s where your grades go to die a slow,
agonizing death. Unless you prefer a Taylor Swift concert of disappointment?
[Uneasy laughter. Sartaj leans back, radiating the serene confidence of someone who
has absolutely no idea what’s happening.]
Narrator (Threya): Sartaj operates on the principle: “Why do today what you can
catastrophically fail to do tomorrow?”
Aaradhya: Did you even glance at the syllabus?
Sartaj: Opened the PDF. My cat seemed interested. Does that count as engagement?
📺 [Spotlight on Sartaj. Dramatic, slightly off-key music.]
Narrator (Ahaan): Let’s journey back through the annals of epic dawdling.
Narrator (Lavanya): Sartaj received this assignment two weeks ago. His utilization of
that time? Legendary. He:
Rewatched all the “Shrek” movies, arguing that ogre anatomy is surprisingly relevant.
Became fluent in meme language, his search history a testament to peak internet
procrastination.
Watched a TED Talk on time management… at 3x speed… while simultaneously
scrolling through TikTok.
Sartaj: It said “actionable steps.” Liking a motivational quote is a step!
[Everyone stares at him. Kanishk tries to eat his sandwich upside down.]
Narrator (Threya): Sartaj isn't just procrastinating; he's creating a temporal black hole.
Deadlines go in, productivity never comes out. Not even a little sock of effort.
[Kanishk squints at a calendar like it’s an alien hieroglyphic.]
Kanishk: So… February has 30 days this year?
Aaradhya (massaging her temples): It’s April! And no, you’re thinking of the number of
brain cells Sartaj dedicated to this project.
🚨 [Red lights flash. A comically loud siren wails. Atharva slides in dramatically on an
office chair.]
Atharva (voice booming): BREAKING! We have a code red! A student has succumbed
to the sheer weight of undone work! Details at eleven… or whenever I get around to it.
Dr. Armanya (rushing in with a comically oversized stethoscope): Stand back! We’re
losing him! No signs of… initiative!
Junior Doctor Chirag: His motivation levels are sub-atomic. Last coherent thought:
“Maybe if I just… manifest a finished project?”
Khushi (clutching her chest): He had dreams! Of… eventually starting!
Kavya (sobbing): He thought “due date” was a polite suggestion!
Vipansh: The diagnosis is acute temporal displacement disorder. Common in students
allergic to deadlines.
Sartaj (feebly): Tell… my internet history… it was… for research… mostly…
🎤 [Suddenly, upbeat game show music blasts. Jahnavi and Akshita bound in with
microphones.]
Jahnavi: Welcome to “Beat the Clock… If You Can!” The game show where the stakes
are high and the chances of Sartaj winning are… statistically zero!
Akshita: Our first contestant, Sartaj! What is your strategy for completing tasks under
pressure?
Sartaj (shrugging): Hope. And aggressively blinking at the paper.
Jahnavi: Intriguing! Question one: What is the optimal time to begin a project due
tomorrow?
Kanishk (buzzes in): Tomorrow!
Aaradhya: Yesterday!
Sartaj: Tonight. Around 3 a.m. Fueled by regret and instant noodles.
Akshita: All… tragically accurate! Final question: Complete the phrase: “Time waits
for…”
Sartaj (with misplaced confidence): …me to finally feel like it.
[Loud buzzer. Everyone groans.]
Narrator (Lavanya): Wrong! The correct answer is “no one,” especially not someone
whose brain operates on geological time.
🧘♀️ [Calm, slightly cheesy meditation music plays. Bhavika steps forward.]
Bhavika (serenely): Oh, Chronos, benevolent deity of ticking clocks… forgive our
trespasses against your relentless march. We promise… to maybe set an earlier
alarm… someday.
Class (muttering): Amen…ish.
Khushi (holding up a sparkly sign): “The best time to plant a tree was 20 years ago. The
second best time is… not five minutes before the deadline.”
Sartaj: That hits hard. Like the realization that Shrek 5 isn’t actually in production.
Narrator (Ahaan): But amidst the chaos, a flicker of something… resembling effort?
[Sartaj dramatically pulls out a notebook filled with… something. Possibly actual
biology.]
Sartaj: Behold! A miracle fueled by caffeine, existential dread, and the faint memory of a
YouTube summary!
Vipansh (blinking rapidly): Is that… actual work?
Aaradhya: Did you replace Sartaj with a highly motivated alien?
Sartaj: I had a near-deadline experience. My brain briefly achieved sentience.
🏁 [The bell rings, triggering another student stampede.]
Narrator (Threya): And so, another deadline conquered… or at least survived.
Remember, time is a relentless river.
Kanishk (running in the opposite direction): Wait! This was History?!
[Pandemonium ensues.]
Narrator (Ahaan): Until next time, future titans. May your time management be better
than Sartaj’s meme collection.
All Together: THE END! (Please send help… and coffee.)
[CURTAIN]