Script
Characters: Mom, Katie (Cat girl), Twin (Martha), Allergy kid (Xanthous), Doctor, Nurse, Therapist, Guy who realizes doctor is not there (Levi), Vaccine kid (MVJ), Bestie (Charlie)
Scene 1: Katie turns into a cat
Characters: Mom, Katie (Cat girl), Twin (Martha), Allergy kid (Xanthous), Doctor, Nurse, Therapist, Levi, Vaccine kid (MVJ), Bestie (Charlie – girl)
Scene 1: Katie turns into a cat
(Martha trips over clutter.)
Martha: Ouch! Katie, if I trip over your junk again, I’m telling Mom—with PowerPoint slides.
Katie: Sorry! My room’s full of medicines.
Martha: …Why?
Katie: Because I’m turning into a cat! Look—fur, whiskers, I hissed at the toaster!
Martha: (deadpan) Or maybe you’re just weird. Go to Dr. Methuselah. Take Charlie.
Katie: Kay, bye! [meows and exits]
Scene 2: The waiting room
Charlie: Ugh, I hate this clinic. Even the chairs look sick.
Nurse: (cheerful) Welcome! I’m Nurse Francine. What’s the illness?
Katie: I’m turning into a cat.
Nurse: Fascinating. Join the other disasters—uh, [Link]
(Katie and Charlie sit. Mom, MVJ, and Xanthous are waiting.)
MVJ: Mommy, I don’t want vaccine.
Mom: It’s fun! Like Disneyland… with more needles.
Nurse: And fewer rides.
Xanthous: I faked being allergic to everything to skip math.
Nurse: Smart. But now you’re allergic to honesty.
Mom: Two hours of waiting! Is there even a doctor?!
Nurse: Yes, ma’am. Be patient. Unlike the patients.
(Therapist enters energetically.)
Therapist: Hi everyone! Names and illnesses, please.
Katie: I’m Katie. Turning into a cat. [meows]
Charlie: I’m Charlie, her best friend. I’m here to stop her from scratching the furniture… and me.
Mom: My son ate candy, so I’m punishing him with vaccines.
Therapist: (writing) …Parenting level: Extreme.
Levi: Wait… has anyone actually seen the doctor?
(DR. METHUSELAH bursts in dramatically.)
Scene 3: Doctor Arrives
Doctor: Fear not, patients! Dr. Methuselah is here!
Nurse: See? Told you he was real.
Doctor (to Katie): Cat Syndrome. Prescription: yarn and a scratching post.
Doctor (to MVJ): Vaccine fear? Don’t worry—my needles are so tiny, sometimes I lose them in soup.
Doctor (to Xanthous): Allergy to everything? Eat cake. Works every time.
Doctor (to Mom): Diagnosis: needs a vacation.
Doctor (to Charlie): Best Friend Fatigue. Cure: unlimited snacks and bubble tea.
Charlie: Finally, a prescription I actually like.
Doctor (to Levi): Overthinking-itis. Cure: dance break. [does awkward chicken dance]
Levi: Thank you, but you can keep those awkward dance moves to yourself.
(Everyone bursts out laughing.)
Finale: Cured by Laughter
Therapist: Incredible! Their symptoms are gone!
Katie: My whiskers disappeared!
MVJ: I’m not scared anymore!
Xanthous: I suddenly… like broccoli?
Mom: I feel… less angry.
Nurse: Amazing. Laughter is cheaper than medicine anyway.
Doctor: Exactly! My bill is payable in pizza.
Martha: Cured ha! See I told you to go to this wacky and a bit creepy doctor. I am the best!
(Everyone laughs again as lights fade. Curtain closes.)