Module II Emotion

Human beings are full of feelings, or emotions, and although emotions may be internal
processes, there are outward physical signs of what people are feeling.

Emotion can be defined as the “feeling” aspect of consciousness, characterized by three

elements: a certain physical arousal, a certain behavior that reveals the feeling to the outside
world, and an inner awareness of the feeling.

The Physiology of Emotion: Our body is physically aroused during emotion. The heart rate
increases, breathing becomes more rapid, the pupils dilate, and the mouth may become dry.
Although facial expressions do differ among various emotional responses, emotions are
difficult to distinguish from one another on the basis of physiological reactions alone.

The Behavior of Emotion- Emotional Expression: There are facial expressions, body
movements, and actions that indicate to others how a person feels. Frowns, smiles, and sad
expressions combine with hand gestures, the turning of one’s body, and spoken words to
produce an understanding of emotion. People fight, run, kiss, and yell, along with countless
other actions stemming from the emotions they feel.
Facial expressions can vary across different cultures, although some aspects of facial
expression seem to be universal. Even children who are blind from birth can produce the
appropriate facial expressions for any given situation without ever having witnessed those
expressions on others, which strongly supports the idea that emotional expressions have their
basis in biology rather than in learning.

Emotional expressions, or outward signs of what a person is feeling, are another ingredient of
emotion. For example, when you are intensely afraid, your hands tremble, your face contorts,
your posture becomes tense and defensive, and your voice changes. In general, these
expressions serve to tell others what emotions we are experiencing.

In their research, Ekman and Friesen found that people of many different cultures (including
Japanese, European, American, and the Fore tribe of New Guinea) can consistently recognize
at least seven facial expressions: anger, fear, disgust, happiness, surprise, sadness, and
contempt. Although the emotions and the related facial expressions appear to be universal,
exactly when, where, and how an emotion is expressed may be determined by the culture.
Display rules that can vary from culture to culture are learned ways of controlling displays of
emotion in social settings. settings. For example, Japanese people have strict social rules
about showing emotion in public situations- they simply do not show emotion, remaining
cool, calm, and collected, at least on the outside. But if in a more private situation, as a parent
scolding a child within the home, the adult’s facial expression would easily be recognized as
“angry” by people of any culture.

The emotion is universal and the way it is expressed on the face is universal, but whether it is
expressed or displayed depends on the learned cultural rules for displaying emotion.

Display rules are different between cultures that are individualistic (placing the importance of
the individual above the social group) and those that are collectivistic (placing the importance
of the social group above that of the individual). Whereas the culture of the United States is
individualistic, for example, the culture of Japan is collectivistic. At least part of the
difference between the two types of display rules may be due to these cultural differences.

Subjective Experience- Labeling Emotion: The third element of emotion is interpreting the
subjective feeling by giving it a label: anger, fear, disgust, happiness, sadness, shame,
interest, and so on. Another way of labeling this element is to call it the “cognitive element,”
because the labeling process is a matter of retrieving memories of previous similar
experiences, perceiving the context of the emotion, and coming up with a solution- a label.
Emotional feelings (a person’s private emotional experience) are a final major element of
emotion.
Theories of Emotion
James-Lange Theory of Emotion
In this theory, a stimulus of some sort (for example, the large snarling dog) produces a
physiological reaction. This reaction, which is the arousal of the “fight-or-flight” sympathetic
nervous system (wanting to run), produces bodily sensations such as increased heartrate, dry
mouth, and rapid breathing. James and Lange believed that the physical arousal led to the
labeling of the emotion (fear). Simply put, “I am afraid because I am aroused,” “I am
embarrassed because my face is red,” “I am nervous because my stomach is fluttering,” and
“I am in love because my heart rate increases when I look at her (or him).”
Cannon-Bard Theory of Emotion
Physiologists Walter Cannon (1927) and Philip Bard (1934) theorized that the emotion and
the physiological arousal occur more or less at the same time. Cannon, an expert in
sympathetic arousal mechanisms, did not feel that the physical changes caused by various
emotions were distinct enough to allow them to be perceived as different emotions. Bard
expanded on this idea by stating that the sensory information that comes into the brain is sent
simultaneously (by the thalamus) to both the cortex and the organs of the sympathetic
nervous system. The fear and the bodily reactions are, therefore, experienced at the same
time- not one after the other. “I’m afraid and running and aroused!”

This theory, known as the Cannon-Bard theory of emotion, also had its critics. Lashley
(1938) stated that the thalamus would have to be pretty sophisticated to make sense of all the
possible human emotions and relay them to the proper areas of the cortex and body. It would
seem that other areas of the brain must be involved in processing emotional reactions. The
studies of people with spinal cord injuries, which appear to suggest that emotions can be
experienced without feedback from the sympathetic organs to the cortex and were cited as a
criticism of the James-Lange theory, seem at first to support the Cannon-Bard version of
emotions: People do not need feedback from those organs to experience emotion. However,
there is an alternate pathway that does provide feedback from these organs to the cortex; this
is the vagus nerve, one of the cranial nerves (LeDoux, 1994). The existence of this feedback
pathway makes the case for Cannon-Bard a little less convincing.
Schachter-Singer and Cognitive Arousal Theory of Emotion
In their cognitive arousal theory (two-factor theory), Schachter and Singer (1962) proposed
that two things have to happen before emotion occurs: the physical arousal and a labeling of
the arousal based on cues from the surrounding environment. These two things happen at the
same time, resulting in the labeling of the emotion.

For example, if a person comes across a snarling dog while taking a walk, the physical
arousal (heart racing, eyes opening wide) is accompanied by the thought (cognition) that this
must be fear. Then and only then will the person experience the fear emotion. In other words,
“I am aroused in the presence of a scary dog; therefore, I must be afraid.”

Notes:
Emotion: (is “feeling” aspect of consciousness, characterized by physiological arousal,
specific expressive behavior, and inner awareness of feelings);
●​ physiological arousal is created by the sympathetic nervous system and is associated
with brain activity in specific areas (e.g., the amygdala) and right or left hemisphere
activity,
●​ emotional expressions can vary across cultures but some expressions seem to be
universal; display rules also vary across cultures and according to gender,
●​ subjective labeling of emotion is largely a learned response, influenced by both
language and culture.

James-Lange theory suggests that specific stimuli result in physical arousal and leads to
labeling of the emotion.
Cannon-Bard theory suggests that emotion and physiological arousal occur simultaneously.
Cognitive arousal theory (Schacter-Singer) suggests that physiological arousal and the
actual interpretation of that arousal based on cues from the environment must occur before
the emotion itself is experienced.

External Expression of Emotions:

Emotions are a private affair. No one, no matter how intimate with us they are, can truly share
our subjective inner experiences. Yet we are able to recognize the presence of various
emotions in others, and we are able to communicate our own feelings to them as well. How
does such communication occur? A large part of the answer involves nonverbal cues-
outward signs of others’ internal emotional states shown in their facial expressions, body
posture, and other behaviors.

Non-verbal Cues: The Basic Channels

Decades of research on nonverbal cues suggest that this kind of communication occurs
through several different channels or paths simultaneously. The most revealing of these
involve facial expressions and body movements and posture.
Unmasking the Face: Facial Expressions as Clues to Others’ Emotions Modern research
suggests that it is possible to learn much about others’ current moods and feelings from their
facial expressions. In fact, it appears that six different basic emotions are represented clearly,
and from an early age, on the human face: anger, fear, sadness, disgust, happiness, and
surprise (Ekman, 1992). In addition, some findings suggest that another emotion- contempt-
may also be quite basic (e.g., Rosenberg & Ekman, 1995). However, agreement on what
specific facial expression represents this emotion is less consistent than that for the other six
emotions just mentioned. Until fairly recently, it was widely assumed that basic facial
expressions such as those for happiness, anger, or disgust are universal- that they are
recognized as indicating specific emotions by persons all over the world (e.g., Ekman &
Friesen, 1975). Some research findings, however, have called this assumption into question
(e.g., Russell, 1994). The findings of several studies indicate that although facial expressions
may indeed reveal much about others’ emotions, interpretations of such expressions are also
affected by the context in which the expressions occur, and by various situational cues. For
instance, if participants in a study are shown a photo of a face showing what would normally
be judged as fear but are also read a story suggesting that the person is actually showing
anger, many describe the face as showing this emotion- not fear (Carroll & Russell, 1996).
Findings such as these suggest that facial expressions may not be as universal in terms of
providing clear signals about underlying emotions as was previously assumed. These findings
are somewhat controversial, however, so at present it would be unwise to reach firm
conclusions about this issue.

Gestures, Posture, and Movements

First, remember some incident that made you angry- the angrier the better. Think about it for
a minute. Now try to remember another incident- one that made you feel happy- the happier
the better. Did you change your posture or move your hands, arms, or legs as your thoughts
shifted from the first incident to the second? The chances are good that you did, for our
current mood or emotion is often reflected in the posture, position, and movement of our
body. Together, such nonverbal behaviors are sometimes termed body language or, more
scientifically, kinesics; and they can provide several kinds of information about others’
emotions.
Body Language: Nonverbal cues involving body posture of movement of body parts.

First, frequent body movements, especially ones in which a particular part of the body does
something to another part, such as touching, scratching, or rubbing, suggest emotional
arousal. The greater the frequency of such behavior, the higher a person’s level of arousal or
nervousness seems to be (Harrigan et al., 1991). Larger patterns of movements involving the
whole body can also be informative. Such phrases as “she adopted a threatening posture” and
“he greeted her with open arms” suggest that different body orientations or postures can be
suggestive of contrasting emotional reactions (Aronoff, Woike, & Hyman, 1992).
Finally, more specific information about others’ feelings is often provided by gestures- body
movements carrying specific meanings in a given culture.

Gestures: Movements of various body parts that convey specific meanings in a given culture.
Affect: Relatively mild feelings and moods.

Emotion- Cognition Relationship

In many instances, our thoughts seem to exert strong effects on our emotions. And this
relationship works in the other direction as well: Being in a happy mood often causes us to
think happy thoughts, while feeling sad tends to bring negative memories and images to
mind. In short, there are important links between emotion and cognition- between the way we
feel and the way we think.

How Affect Influences Cognition

The findings of many studies indicate that our current moods can strongly influence several
aspects of cognition. One such effect involves the impact of our current moods, or affective
states, on our perception of ambiguous stimuli. In general, we perceive and evaluate these
stimuli more favorably when we are in a good mood than when we are in a negative one. For
example, when asked to interview applicants whose qualifications for a job are ambiguous-
neither very strong nor very weak- research participants assign higher ratings to applicants
when they (the interviewers) are in a positive mood than when they are in a negative mood
(e.g., Baron, 1987). Another way in which affect influences cognition is through its impact on
the style of information processing we adopt. A positive affect encourages us to adopt a
flexible, fluid style of thinking, while a negative affect leads us to engage in more systematic
and careful processing (e.g., Stroessner & Mackie, 1992). Why? Perhaps because we interpret
negative affect as a kind of danger signal, indicating that the current situation requires our full
attention. A happy mood can increase creativity- perhaps because being in a happy mood
activates a wider range of ideas or associations than being in a negative mood, and creativity
consists, in part, of combining such associations into new patterns (e.g., Estrada, Isen, &
Young, 1995).

A fourth way in which affect can influence cognition involves its impact on our plans and
intentions in a wide range of social situations. For instance, recent findings reported by
Forgas (1998b) suggest that negotiators who are in a good mood adopt more cooperative
strategies and expect better outcomes than ones who are in a bad mood.

How Cognition Influences Affect

Most research on the relationship between affect and cognition has focused on how feelings
influence thought. However, when internal reactions are ambiguous, we look outward- at our
own behavior or at other aspects of the external world- for clues about the nature of our
feelings. In such cases the emotions or feelings we experience are strongly determined by the
interpretation or cognitive labels we select.
A second way in which cognition can affect emotions is through the activation of schemas
containing a strong affective component. For example, if we label an individual as belonging
to some group, our schema for this social category may suggest what traits he or she probably
possesses. In addition, it may also tell us how we feel about such persons. Thus, activation of
a strong racial, ethnic, or religious schema or stereotype may exert powerful effects upon our
current feelings or moods.
Third, our thoughts can often influence our reactions to emotion-provoking events. For
example, anger and resulting aggressive motivation can often be reduced by apologies and
other information that helps explain why others have treated us in a provocative manner
(Ohbuchi, Kameda, & Agarie, 1989). Further, anger can sometimes be reduced- or even
prevented- by techniques such as thinking about events other than those that generate anger
(Zillmann, 1993). In such instances, the effects of cognition on feelings can have important
social consequences.
In sum, as our everyday experience suggests, there are indeed many links between affect and
cognition. The way we feel- our current mood- influences the way we think, and our
thoughts, in turn, often shape our moods and emotions.

Culture and Emotion

Emotional expression is guided by the cultural beliefs, values, and rules regarding appropriate
expression. Research, too, has evidenced that expressed emotions vary across cultures and
situations. Cultural norms vary regarding expression of emotions, for example in China
women are encouraged to express grief and conceal happiness, in the United States the
reverse is true. The Latin American culture expects hugging and kissing friends while
greeting or leaving or crying at weddings is considered normal in some cultures and not in
others. Studies have revealed that most basic emotions are inborn and do not have to be
learned and that emotions, especially facial expressions, have strong biological ties. For
example, children who are visually impaired from birth and have never observed the smile or
seen another person’s face, still smile or frown in the same way that children with normal
vision do. But by comparing different cultures we see that learning plays an important role in
emotions. This happens in two ways. First, cultural learning influences the expression of
emotions more than what is experienced, for example, some cultures encourage free
emotional expression, whereas other cultures teach people, through modeling and
reinforcement, to reveal little of their emotions in public. Second, learning has a great deal to
do with the stimuli that produce emotional reactions. It has been shown that individuals with
excessive fears (phobia) of elevators, automobiles, and the like learnt these fears through
modeling, classical conditioning, or avoidance conditioning. The display rules are learnt as a
part of socialization process. For example, in Asian cultures emphasis is on collective effort,
social connections and interdependence, and display of emotions such as sympathy, respect,
and shame are more common than the display of feelings or negative emotions that might
disrupt peace among group members. In contrast, Western cultures encourage individuality
and people display emotions openly which are usually intense and prolonged.

A felt emotion may be communicated through other non-verbal channels as well, for
example, gaze behavior, gestures, paralanguage, and proximal behaviors. The emotional
meaning conveyed via gestures (body language) varies from culture to culture. For example,
in China, a handclap is an expression of worry or disappointment, and anger is expressed
with laughter. Silence has also been found to convey different meanings across different
cultures. For example, in India, deep emotions are sometimes communicated via silence. This
may convey embarrassment during communication in Western countries. Cultural differences
have also been noted in the gaze behavior. It has been observed that the Latin Americans and
the Southern Europeans direct their gaze to the eyes of the interactant. Asians, in particular,
Indians and Pakistanis, prefer a peripheral gaze (looking away from the conversational
partner) during an interaction. The physical space (proximity) also divulges different kinds of
emotional meaning during emotional exchanges. The Americans, for example, do not prefer
an interaction too close; the Oriental Indians consider a close space comfortable for an
interaction. In fact, the touching behavior in physical proximity is considered reflective of
emotional warmth. For example, it was observed that the Arabs experience alienation during
an interaction with the North Americans who prefer to be interacted from a distance.

Basic emotions also vary in the extent of elaboration and categorical labels. For example
Tahitian language includes 46 labels for the English word anger.

Rasa and Bhava theory of Emotion

The theory of Rasa and Bhav was propounded by sage Bharat in his treatise entitled Natya
Shastra. The Sanskrit term, rasa, which means at once sap or essence of a thing and its taste.
Rasa means to taste, to savor, or to sample but when the term is used to refer to the grand
meta-emotion of esthetic experience, it is usually translated as esthetic pleasure, enjoyment,
or rapture. It is a pleasure which lasts only as long as the dramatic illusion that makes “rasa”
a reality. Because it is possible for the members of the audience who witness a drama (the
“rasik”) to experience enjoyment or pleasure (“rasa”) even from the apprehension of negative
emotional states (disgust, fear, anger, sorrow), which in other circumstances one might want
to avoid or repress, it is reasoned by Sage Abhinavagupta and others that “rasa” must be an
autonomous meta-emotion, a sui generis form of consciousness.

Emotional Intelligence
Emotional intelligence (EI) is a set of emotional and social skills that influence the way we
perceive and express ourselves, develop and maintain social relationships, cope with
challenges, and use emotional information in an effective and meaningful way. One of the
most popular definitions is “Emotional intelligence is the capacity for recognising our own
feelings and those of others, for motivating ourselves, and for managing emotions well in
ourselves and in our relationships” (Goleman, 1998).

What Emotional Intelligence ‘is’ and is ‘not’

To have an accurate understanding of the concept of emotional intelligence, it is important to
draw clear distinctions between what it covers and refers to and which aspects of it are untrue
or inaccurate.
What emotional intelligence ‘is’:
●​ Being aware of oneself
●​ Being able to manage emotions
●​ Being socially aware
●​ Ability to manage interpersonal relationships by using emotions
●​ A field of scientific study
What emotional intelligence is ‘not’:
●​ Ignoring or suppressing emotions
●​ Allowing emotions to dominate thinking and decision making
●​ A permanent trait
●​ An indicator of cognitive and academic intelligence
●​ A person’s aptitude or interest
●​ Avoidance of conflict
●​ Best predictor of success in life

Thus, emotional intelligence refers to the non-cognitive abilities of a person that includes the
ability to be aware of the emotions of oneself and others and also to be able to manage these
emotions. In common words, it can be said to denote ‘street smartness’ or the ‘common
sense’ (Stein & Book, 2006). It is the practical knowledge that one needs to have to be
effective in any field even if the knowledge acquired from the academic arena is average.

COMPONENTS OF EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE

Broadly, emotional intelligence can be viewed as having four interrelated components:

Perceiving emotions: This is the basic ability to register and recognise emotions in ourselves
and other people. People who are high in emotional intelligence are able to identify when
they are experiencing a particular emotion and are able to use their vocabulary to label the
feeling. For example, experiencing the sensation of “butterflies in the stomach” and knowing
that they are feeling nervousness or anxiety. They are also sensitive to other people’s
emotions and are able to see when someone is feeling angry, sad, happy or a range of other
feelings by reading their facial expressions and body language. This is a fundamental skill
because without recognising the experience of an emotion, it is very difficult to understand it
or change it in any way.
Understanding emotions: This component refers to using the specific information that
various emotions provide and knowing how that might affect their behavior. As discussed
earlier, each emotion conveys distinct data to individuals about their environment and
energizes one for action in a particular direction. Emotionally intelligent people are able to
‘read’ this information and use it to guide their behaviour. For example, understanding that
one’s anger at their friend may be a result of feeling unfairly treated by them. Understanding
emotions in others is similar- observing that a sibling is hanging their head low and has
reduced their interactions with others might indicate they are upset or sad about something.

The following descriptive statements about persons ‘X’ and ‘Y’ may help to illustrate the
above two components of perceiving and recognising emotions:
Example 1: “During challenging and difficult social situations, X is very conscious of the
pitch of his voice and hand gestures. He recognises when the intensity of his anger is rising
and makes the effort to behave in an assertive way rather than give in to aggression”.

Example 2: “Y is usually unaware of being triggered by an unorganised desk or a delayed

project. He almost instantly responds with undue aggression without realising what language
or tone of voice he is using with someone. He sounds very offensive at times”.

In the first example, being aware about one’s pitch and the bodily gestures draws one’s
attention to the intensity of the emotion one is experiencing. This awareness then leads to
appropriate action in the individual. The second example points out the consequences when
we are not aware about how our emotions are linked to various factors. This awareness of the
generation of emotions will give us control over how we respond to different situations.

Managing emotions: When one recognises their emotions quickly and understands their
meaning, it becomes relatively easier for them to think about the next steps regarding how to
change them. This applies to the self as well as others. Recognising that one is feeling low
and wanting to change that emotion may encourage one to make plans to go out for a movie
or meet a friend they enjoy talking to or just talk to the person over phone. A desire to reduce
one’s anger may also lead to the use of deep breathing and relaxation strategies to calm
oneself down. Similar tools may be used to help change emotions in others as well. For
example, saying sorry or apologising to an angry friend may reduce anger or sadness.
Listening to a sibling who is feeling sad may improve their mood.

The following descriptive statements about persons ‘X’ and ‘Y’ may help to clarify how this
skill is observable:
Example 1: “X is a great example of patience and restraint when meetings become heated up
and emotionally- charged. While others are shouting and calling others names around her,
she responds by listening carefully and responding with well - thought out points rather than
reacting impulsively”.

Example 2: “Y calls incessantly when I don’t answer the first time he calls. He reacts out of
panic and assumes the worst. Unanswered calls are often accompanied by accusatory
messages and rants that he later regrets.”

Here in the above examples we can see that we can better manage the emotions either in
ourselves or in others when we become aware of the emotions and the situation giving rise to
such emotions.
Using emotions: The ability to use one’s emotions is more than just dealing with or
managing emotions. It involves the skill of leveraging emotions to enhance our thinking,
decision-making and relationships.
For example, concealing one’s nervousness about public speaking by using body language
and hand gestures to show excitement instead so that the audience is more engaged.
Channelizing anger at perceived injustice towards fighting for one’s legitimate rights is
another example of using emotions and has been used extensively to bring about social
changes and reforms for centuries.
The capacity to use emotions is illustrated by the following descriptions:
Example 1: “X has a very good capacity to initiate and maintain relationships. She shows a
lot of empathy and connects very quickly with people. Even when she does not like someone,
she finds a way to be cordial and professional with them so that tasks succeed”.
Example 2: “Y is mistrusting and this shows when we interact with her. She does not like
including new friends in the group and is very possessive about us. It can sometimes be
suffocating to be around her”.

As can be seen from the examples above, people do not share identical abilities in each of the
above domains. One may be good at controlling their own anger but not have the skills to
calm another angry person. Similarly, one may recognise one's own sadness but not possess
well-developed strategies to change or manage sadness. Developing these skills is a matter of
practice and sometimes requires structured coaching and experience.

Emotional Regulation
Emotional regulation is a dynamic and multifaceted process by which we experience and
express our emotions (Thompson et al., 2008). It can be conscious, such as actively deciding
to calm yourself down after a stressful meeting, or unconscious, such as automatically feeling
relief after a deep breath (McRae & Gross, 2020).

Essentially, emotional regulation helps to maintain balance, ensuring that emotions do not
overwhelm or disrupt our day-to-day functioning (McRae & Gross, 2020). Effective
emotional regulation enables us to respond appropriately to life’s challenges without
becoming overwhelmed or acting impulsively. It promotes resilience and mental health, while
difficulties with regulation can lead to various challenges that can have a profound effect on
our sense of wellbeing, our relationships, and our ability to function in society (Iwakabe et
al., 2023).

Healthy emotional regulation is built on a foundation of three key factors (Naragon-Gainey et

al., 2017):

●​ Being able to disengage from the intensity of the emotion

●​ Being able to interrupt the cycle of rumination
●​ Being able to reengage with the situation adaptively
The following are some examples of healthy emotional regulation:

1.​ Reframing negative thoughts​

When faced with a challenging situation, rather than catastrophizing, reframe the
event to focus on the learning opportunity or silver lining (Hu et al., 2014).
2.​ Acceptance and mindfulness​
In moments of intense stress, practice acceptance and mindfulness to calm the
nervous system and regain emotional equilibrium (Naragon-Gainey et al., 2017).
3.​ Take a break​
Recognize when an emotion such as anger is escalating. Temporarily remove yourself
from the situation to cool down before responding.
4.​ Express emotions constructively​
Use calm, assertive communication to express feelings appropriately instead of
bottling them up or lashing out.
5.​ Problem-solving​
Instead of ruminating on negative feelings, identify actionable steps to address the
root cause of the emotion.

Self regulation can be developed and some of the techniques for self regulation are discussed
as follows:

1) Cultivating self awareness and self monitoring: Cultivating self awareness can also help in
developing self regulation as the individuals become more and more aware about their
strengths and weaknesses. Along with self awareness, self monitoring also helps in
developing self regulation, as has been discussed earlier.

2) Cognitive reappraisal: This mainly involves modification of thinking patterns. Thus the
thinking is modified in such a way that the person experiences positive emotions. For
example, if a student obtains less marks in an examination, rather than thinking that she is not
good enough, she can think in terms of putting in more efforts next time. Thus cognitive
reappraisal mainly focuses on reframing our negative thoughts and have a positive outlook
towards the situation.
3) Mindfulness: Mindfulness can be described as an ability to be self aware as well as being
present about where one is, what he/ she is doing and not being overly reactive or get
engulfed by what is happening around oneself (Mindful Staff, 2014). The breathing exercises
in mindfulness help in managing emotions and negative feelings and thus helps in self
regulation.

4) Positive attitude: Developing a positive attitude towards situations, events, people and
objects can also help us in developing better self regulation.

5) Stress management: Effective management of stress can also help in self regulation. When
an individual is able to manage stress, she will feel in better control of herself, thoughts and
feelings. Thus various stress management techniques including relaxation techniques,
exercises, cognitive behaviour techniques etc. can be effectively used to manage stress.

6) Time management: Besides stress management, time management techniques may also
help in self regulation, Techniques like setting priorities, having a planner, having clear goals
and so on can help manage time effectively.

Anger Management

Anger is “an emotional state that varies in intensity from mild irritation to intense fury and
rage”. Like other emotions, it is accompanied by physiological and biological changes; when
you get angry, your heart rate and blood pressure go up, as do the levels of your energy
hormones, adrenaline, and noradrenaline.

Anger can be caused by both external and internal events. You could be angry at a specific
person (such as a coworker or supervisor) or event (a traffic jam, a canceled flight), or your
anger could be caused by worrying or brooding about your personal problems. Memories of
traumatic or enraging events can also trigger angry feelings.

The instinctive, natural way to express anger is to respond aggressively. Anger is a natural,
adaptive response to threats; it inspires powerful, often aggressive, feelings and behaviors,
which allow us to fight and to defend ourselves when we are attacked. A certain amount of
anger, therefore, is necessary to our survival.
On the other hand, we can’t physically lash out at every person or object that irritates or
annoys us; laws, social norms, and common sense place limits on how far our anger can take
us.
People use a variety of both conscious and unconscious processes to deal with their angry
feelings. The three main approaches are expressing, suppressing, and calming. Expressing
your angry feelings in an assertive, not aggressive, manner is the healthiest way to express
anger.
To do this, you have to learn how to make clear what your needs are, and how to get them
met, without hurting others. Being assertive doesn’t mean being pushy or demanding; it
means being respectful of yourself and others.
Anger can be suppressed, and then converted or redirected. This happens when you hold in
your anger, stop thinking about it, and focus on something positive. The aim is to inhibit or
suppress your anger and convert it into more constructive behavior. The danger in this type of
response is that if it isn’t allowed outward expression, your anger can turn inward—on
yourself. Anger turned inward may cause hypertension, high blood pressure, or depression.

Strategies to keep anger at bay

Relaxation
Simple relaxation tools, such as deep breathing and relaxing imagery, can help calm down
angry feelings. There are books and courses that can teach you relaxation techniques, and
once you learn the techniques, you can call upon them in any situation. If you are involved in
a relationship where both partners are hot-tempered, it might be a good idea for both of you
to learn these techniques.
Other techniques:

●​ Breathe deeply, from your diaphragm; breathing from your chest won’t relax you.
Picture your breath coming up from your “gut.”
●​ Slowly repeat a calm word or phrase such as “relax,” “take it easy.” Repeat it to
yourself while breathing deeply.
●​ Use imagery; visualize a relaxing experience, from either your memory or your
imagination.
 ●​ Nonstrenuous, slow yoga-like exercises can relax your muscles and make you feel
much calmer.

Practice these techniques daily. Learn to use them automatically when you’re in a tense
situation.

Cognitive restructuring
Simply put, this means changing the way you think. Angry people tend to curse, swear, or
speak in highly colorful terms that reflect their inner thoughts. When you’re angry, your
thinking can get very exaggerated and overly dramatic. Try replacing these thoughts with
more rational ones.
For instance, instead of telling yourself, “oh, it’s awful, it’s terrible, everything’s ruined,” tell
yourself, “it’s frustrating, and it’s understandable that I’m upset about it, but it’s not the end
of the world and getting angry is not going to fix it anyhow.”
Be careful of words like “never” or “always” when talking about yourself or someone else.
“This !&*%@ machine never works,” or “you’re always forgetting things” are not just
inaccurate, they also serve to make you feel that your anger is justified and that there’s no
way to solve the problem. They also alienate and humiliate people who might otherwise be
willing to work with you on a solution.
Remind yourself that getting angry is not going to fix anything, that it won’t make you feel
better (and may actually make you feel worse).
Logic defeats anger, because anger, even when it’s justified, can quickly become irrational.
So use cold hard logic on yourself. Remind yourself that the world is “not out to get you,”
you’re just experiencing some of the rough spots of daily life. Do this each time you feel
anger getting the best of you, and it’ll help you get a more balanced perspective. Angry
people tend to demand things: fairness, appreciation, agreement, willingness to do things
their way. Everyone wants these things, and we are all hurt and disappointed when we don’t
get them, but angry people demand them, and when their demands aren’t met, their
disappointment becomes anger.
As part of their cognitive restructuring, angry people need to become aware of their
demanding nature and translate their expectations into desires. In other words, saying, “I
would like” something is healthier than saying, “I demand” or “I must have” something.
When you’re unable to get what you want, you will experience the normal
reactions—frustration, disappointment, hurt—but not anger. Some angry people use this
anger as a way to avoid feeling hurt, but that doesn’t mean the hurt goes away.

Problem solving
Sometimes, our anger and frustration are caused by very real and inescapable problems in our
lives. Not all anger is misplaced, and often it’s a healthy, natural response to these difficulties.
There is also a cultural belief that every problem has a solution, and it adds to our frustration
to find out that this isn’t always the case. The best attitude to bring to such a situation, then, is
not to focus on finding the solution, but rather on how you handle and face the problem.
Make a plan, and check your progress along the way. Resolve to give it your best, but also
not to punish yourself if an answer doesn’t come right away. If you can approach it with your
best intentions and efforts and make a serious attempt to face it head-on, you will be less
likely to lose patience and fall into all-or-nothing thinking, even if the problem does not get
solved right away.

Better communication
Angry people tend to jump to—and act on—conclusions, and some of those conclusions can
be very inaccurate. The first thing to do if you’re in a heated discussion is slow down and
think through your responses. Don’t say the first thing that comes into your head, but slow
down and think carefully about what you want to say. At the same time, listen carefully to
what the other person is saying and take your time before answering.
Listen, too, to what is underlying the anger. For instance, you like a certain amount of
freedom and personal space, and your “significant other” wants more connection and
closeness. If he or she starts complaining about your activities, don’t retaliate by painting
your partner as a jailer, a warden, or an albatross around your neck.
It’s natural to get defensive when you’re criticized, but don’t fight back. Instead, listen to
what’s underlying the words: the message that this person might feel neglected and unloved.
It may take a lot of patient questioning on your part, and it may require some breathing space,
but don’t let your anger—or a partner’s—let a discussion spin out of control. Keeping your
cool can keep the situation from becoming a disastrous one.
Using humor
“Silly humor” can help defuse rage in a number of ways. For one thing, it can help you get a
more balanced perspective. When you get angry and call someone a name or refer to them in
some imaginative phrase, stop and picture what that word would literally look like. If you’re
at work and you think of a coworker as a “dirtbag” or a “single-cell life form,” for example,
picture a large bag full of dirt (or an amoeba) sitting at your colleague’s desk, talking on the
phone, going to meetings. Do this whenever a name comes into your head about another
person. If you can, draw a picture of what the actual thing might look like. This will take a lot
of the edge off your fury; and humor can always be relied on to help unknot a tense situation.
The underlying message of highly angry people, Dr. Deffenbacher says, is “things oughta go
my way!” Angry people tend to feel that they are morally right, that any blocking or changing
of their plans is an unbearable indignity and that they should not have to suffer this way.
Maybe other people do, but not them!
When you feel that urge, he suggests, picture yourself as a god or goddess, a supreme ruler,
who owns the streets and stores and office space, striding alone and having your way in all
situations while others defer to you. The more detail you can get into your imaginary scenes,
the more chances you have to realize that maybe you are being unreasonable; you’ll also
realize how unimportant the things you’re angry about really are. There are two cautions in
using humor. First, don’t try to just “laugh off” your problems; rather, use humor to help
yourself face them more constructively. Second, don’t give in to harsh, sarcastic humor; that’s
just another form of unhealthy anger expression.
What these techniques have in common is a refusal to take yourself too seriously. Anger is a
serious emotion, but it’s often accompanied by ideas that, if examined, can make you laugh.

Changing your environment

Sometimes it’s our immediate surroundings that give us cause for irritation and fury.
Problems and responsibilities can weigh on you and make you feel angry at the “trap” you
seem to have fallen into and all the people and things that form that trap.
Give yourself a break. Make sure you have some “personal time” scheduled for times of the
day that you know are particularly stressful. One example is the working mother who has a
standing rule that when she comes home from work, for the first 15 minutes “nobody talks to
Mom unless the house is on fire.” After this brief quiet time, she feels better prepared to
handle demands from her kids without blowing up at them.