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The document discusses two perspectives on improving public health: one advocating for increased sports facilities and the other arguing that this approach has limited impact due to more pressing issues like poverty and disease. While sports facilities can promote healthier lifestyles and community cohesion, they are not a standalone solution for public health improvements. A balanced approach that addresses both physical activity and fundamental social issues is necessary for sustainable health benefits.

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sadia gillani
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0% found this document useful (0 votes)
4 views7 pages

Question

The document discusses two perspectives on improving public health: one advocating for increased sports facilities and the other arguing that this approach has limited impact due to more pressing issues like poverty and disease. While sports facilities can promote healthier lifestyles and community cohesion, they are not a standalone solution for public health improvements. A balanced approach that addresses both physical activity and fundamental social issues is necessary for sustainable health benefits.

Uploaded by

sadia gillani
Copyright
© All Rights Reserved
We take content rights seriously. If you suspect this is your content, claim it here.
Available Formats
Download as DOCX, PDF, TXT or read online on Scribd

Question:

Some people believe that the best way to improve public health is
by increasing the number of sports facilities.
Others, however, think that this would have little effect on public
health.
Discuss both views and give your own opinion
Numerous people believe that the general health of the public can
be enhanced by providing sports amenities to people. Contrary to
that, others contest that it will have little impact on the general
public's health. In my opinion, although the provision of gaming
facilities will have a positive impact, there are more grave
concerns that need urgent attention, and need to be addressed.
In this essay, I will discuss both viewpoints and articulate my
opinion.
On the one hand, proponents of sports facilities believe that a
healthy environment will lead to a healthy mind and a fit body. If
there are more open spaces to play sports, such as football or
table tennis, it will encourage people to adopt healthy habits. As a
result of this, the dopamine levels in their bodies will increase,
decreasing serious problems, namely depression-related
disorders. Not only will it have a positive health impact, but also
propel people to spend time outdoors in nature. This, in turn, will
benefit society as a whole. I believe it will play a significant role in
promoting the overall well-being of the citizens.

On the other hand, the opponents tend to differ and doubt the
efficacy of this approach. They claim that its positive impact will
not be far-reaching and minimal because it fails to address graver
concerns, such as hunger, disease, and illiteracy. A good example
of this is the country, Pakistan, where the most attention-
deserving issues are poverty, malnutrition, and the lack of
education. Investing in these areas will affect society positively,
addressing the issues. If strategic funding is invested in these
areas, it could alleviate inequality and help the more needy.
I believe that, undoubtedly, sports does have a positive impact on
the lives and minds of people because of its numerous benefits. It
can help reduce certain cardiovascular diseases, whose ratio is
substantially increasing, owing to the unhealthy lifestyles of many
people. Nonetheless, it cannot solely be relied on for the
betterment of the nation. Striking a balance between the two
approaches could definitely yield fruitful results. An all-
encompassing and all-inclusive approach will be better.
In conclusion, there are two schools of thought on strengthening a
country’s prosperous state. Games and sports contribute
positively, but they are not the only method to improve the well-
being of people. More serious and underlying concerns should be
given due attention, benefiting the country as a whole.

Band 8 Model Essay

Some people argue that expanding the number of sports facilities is the most
effective way to improve public health, while others believe that this approach
would have a limited impact. This essay will examine both perspectives before
presenting my own view.

On the one hand, supporters of increased investment in sports facilities contend


that greater access to recreational spaces encourages people to adopt healthier
lifestyles. When individuals have opportunities to participate in physical activities
such as football or table tennis, they are more likely to exercise regularly, which
contributes to both physical fitness and mental well-being. Moreover, engaging in
outdoor activities can help reduce stress levels and promote social interaction,
thereby strengthening community cohesion. From this perspective, sports facilities
play an important role in enhancing overall public health.

On the other hand, critics argue that simply increasing the number of sports
facilities does not address the root causes of poor health. In many developing
countries, more pressing issues such as poverty, malnutrition, and limited access to
education have a far greater impact on public health outcomes. For example, in
countries like Pakistan, a large proportion of the population struggles with
inadequate nutrition and healthcare, problems that cannot be resolved through
sports infrastructure alone. Without tackling these fundamental challenges, the
benefits of additional sports facilities are likely to remain limited.

In my opinion, while sports facilities undoubtedly contribute to a healthier society,


they should not be viewed as a standalone solution. Physical activity can help
reduce the risk of lifestyle-related diseases, but long-term improvements in public
health require a more comprehensive strategy. Governments should therefore adopt
a balanced approach by promoting physical activity alongside investing in
healthcare, education, and poverty reduction.

In conclusion, although sports facilities can positively influence public health, their
impact is restricted if broader social and economic issues are ignored. A holistic
policy framework is essential to achieve sustainable improvements in the well-
being of the population.

Why This Is Band 8


✔ Fully developed and balanced argument
✔ Precise, natural academic vocabulary
✔ Clear cohesion without repetition
✔ Sophisticated yet controlled grammar
✔ No overgeneralisation or risky claims

🔗 How OTHER Linkers Are Embedded


Naturally (Band 7–8)
🧠 First: the core idea
Most linkers are actually adverbs.
Adverbs are flexible — they can sit before the verb, after the subject, or at the end.

Embedding = placing the linker where adverbs normally live.

1️⃣ However (contrast)


Sentence-start (clear contrast)

However, this approach is ineffective.

Embedded (formal, Band 8)

This approach, however, is ineffective.

🧠 WHY:

 however comments on the whole sentence


 commas mark it as a side note

2️⃣ Therefore / Thus / Hence (result)


Embedded (BEST for IELTS)
Governments should therefore invest in healthcare.

This policy will thus reduce inequality.

🧠 WHY:

 result linkers work best near the verb


 keeps logic smooth, not dramatic

3️⃣ Also (addition)


Embedded (almost always preferred)

This policy also improves public health.

🧠 WHY:

 also is weak at sentence start


 naturally modifies the verb

❌ Also, this policy improves public health. (sounds spoken)

4️⃣ Moreover / Furthermore (strong addition)


Sentence-start (most natural)

Moreover, it reduces long-term costs.

Embedded (advanced but rare)

It, moreover, reduces long-term costs.

🧠 WHY:

 these add new ideas, so starting the sentence helps clarity


 embedding is formal but should be used sparingly

5️⃣ Nonetheless / Nevertheless (concession)


Sentence-start (safe)

Nevertheless, the policy has limitations.

Embedded (formal)

The policy, nevertheless, has limitations.

🧠 WHY:

 works like however, showing contrast with concession

6️⃣ Instead (replacement / contrast)


Embedded (very natural)

Governments should invest in education instead.

This policy encourages prevention instead of treatment.

🧠 WHY:

 instead usually comes at the end or after the verb

7️⃣ Consequently / As a result (effect)


Sentence-start

Consequently, unemployment rates declined.

Embedded

Unemployment rates consequently declined.

🧠 WHY:

 consequently behaves like therefore


 embedded = academic
🧠 GOLDEN PATTERNS (memorise these)
✔ Result linkers → near the verb

 therefore
 thus
 hence
 consequently

👉 Subject + linker + verb

✔ Contrast linkers → commas

 however
 nevertheless
 nonetheless

👉 Subject, linker, rest of sentence

✔ Weak add-ons → embedded

 also
 too

👉 Subject + also + verb

🎯 Final exam tip


If you’re unsure:

 don’t stack linkers


 embed one instead of starting every sentence with one

Common questions

Powered by AI

The availability of sports facilities can improve mental health by encouraging physical activity, which increases dopamine levels and decreases the likelihood of depression-related disorders . Engaging in such activities also reduces stress and enhances community ties, thereby contributing to mental well-being .

Proponents argue that increasing sports facilities encourages healthier lifestyles by providing access to spaces for physical activities, leading to improved physical and mental health. It also promotes social interaction and community cohesion . Critics, however, point out that sports facilities do not address fundamental health issues like poverty, malnutrition, and lack of education, which have a more significant impact on public health, especially in developing countries .

Proponents suggest that increasing recreational spaces promotes healthier lifestyles, reduces depression, encourages outdoor social activities, and strengthens community bonds. These societal benefits contribute to enhancing overall quality of life and societal well-being .

Critics argue that in developing countries, focusing solely on sports facilities neglects pressing issues such as poverty, malnutrition, and inadequate education, which have a more significant impact on health outcomes. Addressing these issues is crucial for meaningful improvements in public health .

A balanced approach is beneficial as it combines the health benefits of physical activity with solutions to socio-economic issues like poverty and education, thus addressing both direct and root causes of health problems. Such an approach ensures that improvements are sustainable and far-reaching, enhancing overall population well-being .

The essay highlights that sports facilities do not address socio-economic inequalities, as they fail to tackle underlying causes like poverty and lack of education. Without addressing these fundamental disparities, the capacity of sports facilities to reduce inequality is significantly limited .

Sports facilities may fall short in addressing broader public health challenges because they do not tackle core issues like poverty, malnutrition, and insufficient access to education. These factors have a more pronounced effect on health outcomes and require comprehensive strategies beyond recreational infrastructure to be resolved .

To embed connectives effectively in formal writing, the essay suggests their placement near the verb for result linkers to ensure coherent reasoning. Contrast linkers should be embedded with commas for clarity, and weak add-ons like 'also' should be integrated into the sentence structure to enhance academic tone .

The essay recommends using connectives embedded within sentences for smooth cohesion, such as 'thus', 'therefore', 'also', and 'moreover', positioned near the verb to maintain logical flow. It advises against starting sentences with weak linkers and suggests using commas for contrastive linkers like 'however' .

The essay suggests handling this relationship by recognizing the benefits of sports infrastructure for health improvements but not viewing them as a standalone solution. It advocates for integrating sports with investments in healthcare, education, and poverty reduction, creating a holistic framework for sustainable public health advancements .

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