10
Socio-Emotional Development
MODULE of the Preschoolers
-Maria Rita D. Lucas, Ph. D.
“One test of the correctness of educational procedure is the happiness of the
child.”
-Maria Montessori
LEARNING OUTCOMES
At the end of this Module, you should be able to:
• explain Erikson’s “crisis” of early childhood, initiative versus guilt.
• explain the development of the preschoolers’ sense of self and self-esteem.
• discuss how children develop gender identify.
• discuss the different caregiving style and their effect on preschoolers.
• describe how significant relationships with parents, siblings and peers affect the
preschoolers.
INTRODUCTION
Socio-emotional development is crucial in the preschool years. We hear a lot of
parents and teachers and preschool administrators say that attending preschool is
more for “socialization” than for formal academic learning. There is wisdom in this.
During the preschool years, children learn about their ever widening environment
(Remember Module 10 on Bronfenbrenner?) Preschoolers now discover their new
roles outside their home. They become interested to assert themselves as they relate
with other people. A lot of very important social skills they will learn during the
preschool years will help them throughout life as adults. These skills can even
determine the individual’s later social adjustment and consequent quality of
relationship in adult life.
ACTIVITY
Observe preschoolers playing in the playground or in the classroom. Take a
video or shoot pictures.
Note the following:
1. Is there a conversation going on? Describe the conversation that takes place
among and between the children. What are they talking about?
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2. Describe what they are playing/what the play is about?
3. Describe the children’s integration. Indicate if they are on their own, working
together or if there is conflict.
Bring this to class and share in small groups.
ANALYSIS
Answer the following questions:
1. Were the children playing on their own or alone even when they were with others?
2. Were there some children playing together with agreed upon rules and roles?
Describe.
3. If you observed conflicts between or among children, how were they resolved? Did
an adult intervene? Or did they manage to resolve it by themselves?
4. Were the children polite? What polite words (Thank you, sorry, etc) or gestures did
you observe?
ABSTRACTION/GENERALIZATION
The observation you did provided you a glimpse of the world of preschoolers.
You were once in that world of wonder and fascination. Read through this Module and
you will surely understand more why they manifested the social behaviors that you
have observed.
Big Ideas on Preschoolers’ Socio-emotional Development
1. The development of initiative is crucial to the preschooler.
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2. A healthy self-concept is needed for preschoolers to interact with others.
3. Environmental factors influence gender identity in young children.
4. Preschoolers’ social development is shown through the stages of play.
5. The care-giving styles of parents and teachers affect the preschoolers’ socio-
emotional development.
6. Preschoolers’ are interested in building friendships.
Preschoolers’ Initiative
Erikson’s view of initiative aptly portrays the emotional and social changes that
happen during the preschool years. As discussed in Module 7, preschoolers deal with
the psychological conflict of initiative versus guilt. Erikson believed that healthy
preschoolers develop initiative, the tendency of preschoolers to want to take action
and assert themselves. They will yearn to create, invent, pretend, take risks and
engage in lively and imaginative activities with peers. When parents, teachers and
other adults support these attempts and provide a stimulating environment, the
preschooler’s sense of initiative will grow. On the other hand, if the adults show
overprotection, extreme restriction and criticisms, the preschooler will develop guilt.
As preschoolers go through the conflict of initiative vs. guilt, they show so
much energy in doing imaginative play activities. Every place becomes a playground
to explore, every single thing an interesting piece to tinker with. Adults sometimes get
exasperated over this behavior and begin to see the preschooler as “naughty” or
“makulit”. Some parents and teachers them become overly restrictive, resorting to
threats, intimidation and other scary tactics that disrespect the preschooler just to
establish “control”. Consequently, the child may develop excessive guilt. Although a
good amount of guilt helps in making children take responsibility for their behavior,
excessive guilt hampers emotional growth. Preschoolers who were always punished
and criticized end up constructing a view of themselves as being “salbahe” (bad)
“bobo” (dumb) or even “walang kwenta” (worthless). This is really sad because
childhood years should be happy years. One poster says, “You don’t have to hit to
hurt.” The message emphasized that even the things we say and the way we deal with
the preschoolers can already hurt them at this vulnerable stage.
The key thing to remember is to apply “judicious permissiveness.” This
involves setting realistic boundaries that keep preschoolers safe and respectful of self
and others, while allowing them greater opportunity to explore, take risks and to
engage in creative processes. Preschoolers will develop a healthy sense of initiative
in an affirming, encouraging and stimulating environment.
Self-Concept and the Preschooler
By the end of toddlerhood, preschoolers come out with a clear sense that they
are a separate and distinct person. With their ability to make representations, they can
now think and reflect about themselves. Self-concept refers to the way one sees
himself, a general view about one’s abilities, strengths and weaknesses. The
preschooler’s self-concept mainly focuses on observable characteristics and his/her
usual beliefs, emotions and attitudes. One will hear a preschooler say, “Kaya ko na! (I
can do it)” “Ako lang nagsuot ng shoes ko.” (I wore my shoes all by myself.) An
Child and Adolescent Development
important aspect of self-concept is self-esteem, which specifically refers to one’s
judgements about one’s worth. Preschoolers are naturally positive. Usually they will
tend to evaluate their skills high and underestimate the tasks. They are confident to
try again even if they don’t succeed with something. However, they may become
negative because of repeated frustration and disapproval. Preschoolers need a lot of
patience and encouragement from adults.
Environmental Factors and Gender in the Preschoolers’ Socio-emotional
Development
As the preschooler’s ability to create schemas develop, they become capable
of gender typing, the process of forming gender roles, gender-based preferences and
behaviors accepted by the society. They come to form gender stereotypes.
Preschoolers begin to associate certain things like toys, tools, games, clothes, jobs,
colors or even actions or behaviors as being “only for boys” or “only for girls.”
Consequently, they form their own gender identity, the view of oneself as being
masculine or feminine.
Gender typing and gender identity are influenced by environmental factors such
as the family, teachers, peers and the mass media. This is where Bronfenbrenner’s
model comes into play. Different spheres of influence determine the preschooler’s
development of a gender schema. Differences in parental expectations and behavior
towards daughters and sons after gender typing and gender identity. More often, boys
are expected to show more emotional control and be more competitive while girls are
expected to be warm and soft and demure. Parents also expect their children to play
with toys that are “right” for their gender. The expectations of other people in the
preschoolers’ lives also influence their gender schema. This includes their relatives,
teachers, classmates and other playmates.
Mass media and ICT which include television, movies, the internet, computer
games also offer various images of what it means to be a boy or girl. In the US, there
is growing debate about Lesbian-Gay-Bi-sexual-Transgender issues which is
collectively known as LGBT issues. Schools are in a tight situation or have to do a
“balancing act’ on how to deal with these issues with children so that schools are still
able to be on the side of respect for diversity without necessarily confusing children
who are at a stage of forming their one gender schemas.
Preschool teachers should think thoroughly on how to present notions of what
boys and girls can do especially in the discussion about occupations or community
helpers.
Parten’s Stages of Play
Play is the main agenda of the preschool years. Play has a social dimension.
As the preschooler develops, social interaction with playmates increases. Mildred
Parten, in the 1930’s did a study on children’s play behavior which led to Parten’s
stages of play. Since then, numerous studies have followed using these stages as
framework. The stages describe the play development of children and the gradual
increase of social interaction as they go through these stages. It begins with the very
young child’s unoccupied stage, then solitary play, then parallel play, associative and
cooperative play. Play becomes an important venue for the child’s development of
Child and Adolescent Development
social skills like entering or joining a play situation, taking-turns, sharing, helping,
saying sorry, and working together. Play is indeed the child’s major business!
Parten’s Stages of Play
The child appears not to be playing
1. Unoccupied but directs his attention on anything
that interests him.
The child spends time watching others
2. Onlooker play. He may talk to them but does not
enter into play with them.
The child spends time watching others
3. Solitary Play play. He may talk to them but does not
enter into play with them.
The child plays with toys similar to
those near him, but only play beside
4. Parallel Play not with them. No interaction takes
place.
The child plays with others. There is
5. Associative interaction among them, but no task
Play assignment, rules and organization
are agreed upon.
The child plays with others bound by
6. Cooperative some agreed upon rules and roles. The
goal is maybe to make something, play
a game, or act out something.
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Friendships in Preschool
As they continue to grow, preschoolers become interested in having friends.
This should be encouraged in the preschool years as friendships benefit the
preschoolers development by providing stimulation, assistance, companionship,
social comparison and affection (Kostelnik, 2010). Through friendships. Preschoolers
are able to practice different social roles like being a leader, a follower, a someone
who takes risks and someone who helps out and comforts. Friendship are very
important because they provide added sense of belongingness and security. In the
preschool years, parents and teachers must expose children to experiences that
help them learn skills in establishing friendships, maintaining positive relationships
and resolving conflicts. Parents and teachers, when seeing preschoolers in a “fight”,
should not just say “Tama na..ano ba yan..isa pa ha..Tama na, friends n kayo..Say
sorry na..” Responses like those do not foster social skills among preschoolers.
Parents and teachers need to take time and process with children how to resolve
conflicts.
An integral part of the preschool curriculum is to teach children
the important social skills.
Caregiving Styles
Caregiving styles affect the socio-emotional development of the children.
Caregivers here refer to both parents and teachers and even other adults that care
for the child. Baumrind gave a model that describes the different types of caregiving
styles. This was based on a longitudinal study that looked into the adult authority and
the development of children that Baumrind conducted which began in the 1960’s. decades
later she identified varying degrees of demandingness and responsiveness as a determinants
of four style of caregiving. Marion (2007) expound on these determining factors.
Responsiveness refers to caregiver behaviors that pertain toexpression of
affection an communication. It refers to how warm, caring and respectful the adult is
to the child. It involves openness in communication and the willingness to explain
things in ways that the child will understand. Demandingness refers to the level of
control and expectations. This involves discipline and confrontation strategies.
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Authoritative
Permissive
high demandingness/
low demandingness/
high responsiveness
high responsiveness
Authoritarian Negligent
high demandingness/ low demandingness/
low responsiveness low responsiveness
Baumrind’s Caregiving Styles
Baumrind’s Caregiving Styles and Them
Effects on Children
Description
Caregiving Style The caregivers/parents/ Effect on the
teachers with this caregiver preschooler
style has the following
description:
Authoritative • Expect behavior • Makes the
high demandingness, appropriate to the age preschooler feel
high responsiveness of the child safe and secure
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• Maintain reasonable • Teaches the child
and fair limits to take
• Closely monitor the responsibility for
activities of the child his/her actions
• Warm and nurturing • Develops good self-
• Have realistic control
expectations of the • Develops a realistic
child view oneself
• Communicate • Builds the child’s
messages in a kind, capacity for
firm and consistent empathy
manner
• Discipline approach
focuses more on
teaching than
punishing.
Authoritarian • Set subjective or • Lead to aggressive
high demandingness, unreasonable limits behavior of the
low responsiveness • Communicate child
messages • Brings about poor
• Strive to have strong self-control
psychological control • Results in poor self-
over the child esteem
• Do not supervise
children’s activities
very well and get upset
if they make a mistake
• Use corporal
punishment, sarcasm,
withdrawal of love,
threats
• Not able to teach
children a better way
behave
Permissive • Permit the • Has difficulty
Low demandingness, preschoolers to controlling his/her
high responsiveness regulate their own impulses
behavior and make • Tends to be
their own decisions dependent
even when • Tends to be
preschoolers are not demanding of their
yet ready to do so caregivers
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• Do not set rules or very • Tends not to persist
few if any or easily give up on
• Do not demand good a task
behavior or task • Does not easily
accomplishment follow
• May lack confidence in • Maybe rebellious
their ability to influence • Does not handle
the child frustration well
• Maybes disorganized • Has inadequate
and ineffective in emotional control
managing the family • Difficulties in school
and household/class performance
• Shows undemanding, When parents’
indifferent and behavior is to the
rejecting actions extreme or if child
experiences this style
towards the child
early, the child may
• Has little commitment have:
to their roles as • Attachment
parents/caregivers problems
• Maybe depressed or • Delayed cognitive
overburdened by many development
concerns like poverty, • Poor social and
marital problems, or emotional skills
absence of support • Delinquent
from other behavior later in
adolescence
A Quick Look at What Preschoolers Can Do
(From the Philippine Early Learning Standards, ECCD Council, 2010)
Emotional Expression
Expression of Basic Emotions
37-48 months (3-4 years)
• Expresses what he/she likes
• Expresses what he/she dislikes
• Can talk about difficult feelings (e.g., anger, sorry, worry) he/she experiences.
Self-regulation of feelings/emotion
• Willing to try something in order to learn more even if unsure of a successful
outcome.
• Perseveres when faced with challenging or new tasks
• Accepts brief delays in gratification
• Accepts defeat well; is not a sore loser
• May have some fears but is not overly fearful, anxious or nervous
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• May feel sad at times but not to the point where he/she is depressed
Display of Self-Appraisal Emotions (shame, pride, guilt)
• Plays to learn a game
• Plays to gain mastery of game
• Shows pleasure and enjoyment over his/her successful attempts or efforts
• Confidently joins small groups especially if situation is competitive
• Seek assistance from an adult or child to solve a problem
Receptivity to Others’ Emotions
Receptivity to emotions and having empathy
37-48 months
• Feel others’ distress and acts appropriately (e.g., helps, comforts, gives,
suggestions, etc.)
Emerging Sense of Self
• Knowledge of Self and Basic Roles of People in his Environment
Talks about parts of the body and their functions
• Talks about own specific abilities and characteristics (e.g., sings, dances, is
helpful, studious, etc.)
• Describes what primary caregiver can do, what they like and don’t like
• Defends possessions with determination
• Can give reasons or justify why he/she acted the way he/she did
Forming Attachments
• Shows preference for the company of significant adults and children (other
than the primary caregiver) over unfamiliar adults and children
Interactions with Other Children
• Plays with 2 or 3 children using the same play equipment
• Participates in games with other children but plays in his own way
• Chats/converses with other children
• Take turns and shares toys with others
• Actively participates in classroom and group routines
• Plays organized group games fairly
Interaction with Adults
36-48 months
• Verbalizes feelings related to events that arise in classroom, home, and
environment in a positive way
• Speaks respectfully with adults using “po” and “opo” and/or appropriate titles
• Recognizes the importance of adult’s ideas and experiences by listening and
asking questions when they share these
• Clarifies rules and routines before abiding them
• Shares personal perspective when he/she does not agree with or see the
value of a rule or routine
• Can take on another person’s viewpoint
Pakiramdam (Sensitivity)
• Knows when to stop asking questions or when he is being “makulit”
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• Cooperates to minimize conflict or tension
Appreciating Diversity
• Asks questions that indicate he/she notices differences in socio-economic
status.
• Asks questions about new/different words (dialects) and practices in the
community
• Talks about gender differences and roles
• Regards everyone respectfully, using proper titles/labels, does not resort to
name-calling
• Willing to make friends with other children and adults in different situations
and locations (e.g., schools, neighborhood)
The Role of Caregivers in the Socio-emotional
Development of the Preschooler
From the discussion above one can see the very important role that parents
and teachers play in the socio-emotional development of the preschooler. The
following tips are given to caregivers (parents and teachers):
1. Greet each child with his or her names each day. Be sincere and respectful to
each child.
2. Read storybooks that deal about friendships and different feelings.
3. Develop routines in the home or school that encourage working together and
getting along.
4. Help children learn to make rules and play simple games by providing
opportunities for them to play in small groups.
5. Play games that involve social interaction and team work.
6. Observe how a child plays with other children. Teach him to request, bargain,
negotiate, and apologize.
7. Help children understand and cope with strong feelings by giving them words
that they can use to express how they feel. “I can see you are SAD about your
pet, ANGRY at your sister ….”
8. Use dolls, puppets or pictures to demonstrate to children how to express
feelings appropriately.
9. Acknowledge how the child feels. For example. One can say, “Nalulungkot ka
dahil hindi ka nakasama sa party.” When we do this, we are able to model to
the preschooler that it is important to listen and that having feelings, even
negative ones, are okay.
10. Catch children doing good. Affirm the efforts they make to accomplish
something. Be specific in your praise. Do not just say, “Good job” or “Very
good.” Instead, say “When I saw you pack-away your toys, I felt really happy.
Remember to always pack-away.”
11. Read storybooks that deals about friendships.
12. For teachers, develop routines that encourage working together and getting
along.
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RESEARCH CONNECTION
Read a research that is related to one of the big ideas on the socio-
emotional development of preschoolers. Fill out the matrix below.
Problem Research Methodology
Source: (bibliographical entry format)
Findings Conclusions
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Development