Communication: Gender-fair Language

Gender-fair language (GFL) aims at reducing gender stereotyping and discrimination. Two principle

strategies have been employed to make languages gender-fair and to treat women and men symmetrically:

neutralization and feminization. Neutralization is achieved, for example, by replacing male-masculine

forms (policeman) with gender-unmarked forms (police officer), whereas feminization relies on the use of

feminine forms to make female referents visible (i.e., the applicant… he or she instead of the

applicant…he).

Examples of conscious communication

Under the Civil Service Commission Memorandum Circular No. 12, Series of 2005 entitled “Use of

Non-sexist Language in all Official Documents, Communications and Issuances,” here are some

suggestions on how we can use inclusive language in the workplace:

Eliminate the generic use of HE, HIS, HIM, SHE, or HER, unless the antecedent is obviously male or

female.

●​ By using plural nouns, Rewording, if necessary

Traditional: The lawyer uses his brief to guide him.

Suggested: The lawyers use their briefs to guide them.

●​ Substituting articles (a, an, the) for his; using who instead of he

Traditional: The architect uses his blueprint to guide him.

Suggested: The architect uses the blueprint as a guide.

●​ Using One, We or You

Traditional: The writer should know his readers well.

Suggested: The writer should know the readers well.

Using the passive voice

Traditional: The manager must submit his proposal today.

Suggested: The proposal must be submitted by the manager today.

●​ Eliminate the generic use of Man, instead use People, Person(s), Human(s), Human

Being(s), Humankind, Humanity, The Human Race

Traditional: ordinary man, mankind, the brotherhood of man

Suggested: ordinary people, humanity, the human family

●​ Eliminate sexism in symbolic representations of gender in words, sentences, and text by:

Taking the context of the word, analyzing its meaning, and eliminating sexism in the concept

Traditional: the founding father

Suggested: the founders, the founding leaders

●​ Finding precise words to delineate the thing itself from supposedly sex-linked

characteristics:

Traditional: Titanic was a great ship, but she rests at the bottom of the sea.

Suggested: Titanic was a great ship, but it now rests at the bottom of the sea.

●​ Eliminate Sexual Stereotyping of Roles

Using the same term for both genders when it comes to profession or employment

Traditional: Salesman, Stewardess

Suggested: Sales agent, Flight attendant

Eliminate sexism when addressing persons formally by:

●​ Using Ms. instead of Mrs.

Traditional: Mrs. Dela Cruz

Suggested: Ms. dela Cruz

●​ Using a married woman’s first name instead of her husband’s

Traditional: Mrs. Juan dela Cruz

Suggested: Ms. Maria Santos-dela Cruz

●​ Using the corresponding titles for females

Traditional: Dra. Concepcion Reyes

Suggested: Dr. Concepcion Reyes

●​ Using the title of the job or group in letters to unknown persons

Traditional: Dear Sir

Suggested: Dear Editor, Dear Credit Manager, Dear Colleagues

Promoting gender-fair language at the workplace and adapting it not only in our cubicle but taking it in

our respective homes, not only promotes inclusivity, but a greater understanding and awareness of our

community. It’s the first step towards sparking the change we wish to see in the world.

Why is gender fair language important?

Gender-fair language is important because it helps to reduce gender bias and promote inclusivity in

communication. It challenges the use of generic masculine terms that implicitly assume a male default. By

using gender-neutral pronouns and inclusive language strategies, such as paired forms or actively created
gender-neutral words, the male bias can be eliminated. Gender-fair language also contributes to social

equality and progressive attitudes. It allows linguistic practices to signal a commitment to inclusivity and

challenges traditional gender norms. Additionally, gender-fair language helps to create a culture of

inclusivity by reducing linguistic bias and reinforcing gender equality. It is important to be critical of

sexist language use and make conscious changes in addressing each other to increase fair gender

representation and limit marginalization.

Friendship

As we move through life, we find that there are many things out of our control. We cannot choose our

parents, our genetics, or control the things that happen in the world around us. One thing that we can

control is who our friends are, and this decision can either make our lives so much richer and beautiful, or

more stressful and disappointing and how we choose friends who enrich our lives and make them m

Friendships have a huge impact on your mental health and happiness. Good friends relieve stress, provide

comfort, and joy, and prevent loneliness and isolation. Developing close friendships can also have a

powerful impact on your physical health. Lack of social connection may pose as much of a risk as

smoking, drinking too much, or leading a sedentary lifestyle.

Why friends are so important?

Having solid friendships is important for two main reasons. First, they make life more enjoyable. We get

to share the beautiful aspects of life with people who we love, which can enrich our everyday experiences.

Second, our friends help us through the difficult times. Having friends to support us through hard times

can make unimaginably difficult situations seem more tolerable.

The benefits of friendships

While developing and maintaining friendships takes time and effort, healthy friendships can:
●​ Improve your mood. Spending time with happy and positive friends can elevate your mood and

boost your outlook.

Help you to reach your goals. Whether you are trying to get fit, give up smoking, or otherwise

improve your life, encouragement from a friend can really boost your willpower and increase

your chances of success.

●​ Reduce your stress and depression. Having an active social life can bolster your immune

system and help reduce isolation, a major contributing factor to depression.

●​ Support you through tough times. Even if it's just having someone to share your problems with,

friends can help you cope with serious illness, the loss of a job or loved one, the breakup of a

relationship, or any other challenges in life.

●​ Support you as you age. As you age, retirement, illness, and the death of loved ones can often

leave you isolated. Knowing there are people you can turn to for company and support can

provide purpose as you age and serve as a buffer against depression, disability, hardship and loss.

●​ Boost your self-worth. Friendship is a two-way street, and the “give” side of the give-and-take

contributes to your own sense of self-worth. Being there for your friends makes you feel needed

and adds purpose to your life.

●​ Friends Push You To Be Your Best: Friends can also provide a positive influence. If you make

friends with people who are generous with their time, help others, or are ambitious or

family-oriented, you are more likely to develop those values yourself.

Great friends have the power to mold you into the best version of yourself. They see you and love

you for who you truly are. They encourage you and push you to do better and be the person you

want to be your "ideal self."

Why is it sometimes hard to make friends or maintain friendships?

Many adults find it hard to develop new friendships or keep up existing friendships. Friendships may take

a back seat to other priorities, such as work or caring for children or aging parents. You and your friends

may have grown apart due to changes in your lives or interests. Or maybe you've moved to a new

community and haven't yet found a way to meet people. Developing and maintaining good friendships

takes effort. The enjoyment and comfort friendship can provide, however, makes the investment

worthwhile.

What's a healthy number of friends?

Quality counts more than quantity. While it may be good to cultivate a diverse network of friends and

acquaintances, you may feel a greater sense of belonging and well-being by nurturing close, meaningful

relationships that will support you through thick and thin.

How does social media affect friendships?

Joining a chat group or online community might help you make or maintain connections and relieve

loneliness. However, research suggests that use of social networking sites doesn't necessarily translate to a

larger offline network or closer offline relationships with network members. In addition, remember to

exercise caution when sharing personal information or arranging an activity with someone you've only

met online.

Why online friends aren't enough

Technology has shifted the definition of friendship in recent years. With the click of a button, we can add

a friend or make a new connection. But having hundreds of online friends is not the same as having a

close friend you can spend time within person.

Online friends can't hug you when a crisis hits, visit you when you're sick, or celebrate a happy occasion

with you. Our most important and powerful connections happen when we're face-to-face. So make it a

priority to stay in touch in the real world, not just online.

What to look for in a friend

A friend is someone you trust and with whom you share a deep level of understanding and

communication. A good friend will:

●​ Show a genuine interest in what's going on in your life, what you have to say, and how you think

and feel.

●​ Accept you for who you are.

●​ Listen to you attentively without judging you, telling you how to think or feel, or trying to change

the subject.

●​ Feel comfortable sharing things about themselves with you.

As friendship works both ways, a friend is also someone you feel comfortable supporting and accepting,

and someone with whom you share a bond of trust and loyalty.

Tips for being more friendly and social (even if you're shy)

If you are introverted or shy, it can feel uncomfortable to put yourself out there socially. But you don't

have to be naturally outgoing or the life of the party to make new friends.

●​ Focus on others, not yourself. The key to connecting to other people is by showing interest in

them. When you're truly interested in someone else's thoughts, feelings, experiences, and

opinions, it shows and they'll like you for it. You'll make far more friends by showing your

interest rather than trying to get people interested in you. If you're not genuinely curious about the

other person, then stop trying to connect.

 ●​ Pay attention. Switch off your smartphone, avoid other distractions, and make an effort to truly

listen to the other person. By paying close attention to what they say, do, and how they interact,

you'll quickly get to know them. Small efforts go a long way, such as remembering someone's

preferences, the stories they've told you, and what's going on in their life.

How can nurture friendships

Developing and maintaining healthy friendships involves give-and-take. Sometimes you're the one giving

support, and other times you're on the receiving end. Letting friends know you care about them and

appreciate them can help strengthen your bond. It's as important for you to be a good friend as it is to

surround yourself with good friends.

To nurture your friendships:

●​ Be kind. This most-basic behavior remains the core of successful relationships. Think of

friendship as an emotional bank account. Every act of kindness and every expression of gratitude

are deposits into this account, while criticism and negativity draw down the account.

●​ Be a good listener. Ask what's going on in your friends' lives. Let the other person know you are

paying close attention through eye contact, body language and occasional brief comments such

as, "That sounds fun." When friends share details of hard times or difficult experiences, be

empathetic, but don't give advice unless your friends ask for it.

●​ Open up. Build intimacy with your friends by opening up about yourself. Being willing to

disclose personal experiences and concerns shows that your friend holds a special place in your

life, and it may deepen your connection.

●​ Show that you can be trusted. Being responsible, reliable and dependable is key to forming

strong friendships. Keep your engagements and arrive on time. Follow through on commitments

you've made to your friends. When your friends share confidential information, keep it private.
 ●​ Make yourself available. Building a close friendship takes time together. Make an effort to see

new friends regularly, and to check in with them in between meet ups. You may feel awkward the

first few times you talk on the phone or get together, but this feeling is likely to pass as you

●​ Give your friend space. Don't be too clingy or needy. Everyone needs space to be alone or spend

time with other people as well. Get more comfortable with each other.

●​ Don't set too many rules and expectations. Instead, allow your friendship to evolve naturally.

You're both unique individuals so your friendship probably won't develop exactly as you expect.

●​ Be forgiving. No one is perfect and every friend will make mistakes. No friendship develops

smoothly so when there's a bump in the road, try to find a way to overcome the problem and

move on. It will often deepen the bond between you.

Relationship

A relationship is any connection between two people, which can be either positive or negative.

You can have a relationship with a wide range of people, including family and friends. The phrase "being

in a relationship," while often linked with romantic relationships, can refer to various associations one

person has with another.

To "be in a relationship" doesn't always mean there is physical intimacy, emotional attachment, and/or

commitment involved. People engage in many different types of relationships that have unique

characteristics.

Love is one of the most profound emotions known to human beings. There are many kinds of love, but

many people seek its expression in a romantic relationship with a compatible partner (or partners). For

these individuals, romantic relationships comprise one of the most meaningful aspects of life, and are a

source of deep fulfillment.

How to Find Love

Finding a partner with whom to share a life is a wonderful but frequently difficult process. Whether it's

conducted online or in-person, the search will likely push an individual into unfamiliar settings to

encounter potential partners. To be successful, it is often necessary to go outside of one's comfort zone.

Determining whether a particular person is suitable as a potential mate, and whether a connection reflects

temporary infatuation or true love, can challenging, but research suggests that there are revealing clues in

behavior.

One possibly counterintuitive indicator of a potential match is one's sense of self. Someone who would

make a good partner may push an individual to discover new activities or beliefs that expand their own

self-concept. Another early signifier may be stress: Repeatedly interacting with someone whose

impression matters deeply to us can fuel anxiety. Other positive indicators include being highly motivated

to see the person and investing a significant amount of time, emotion, and energy into the budding

relationship.

Basic Types of Relationships

Relationships typically fall into one of several different categories (although these can sometimes

overlap):
 ●​ Family relationships

●​ Friendships

●​ Acquaintances

●​ Romantic relationships

●​ Sexual relationships

●​ Work relationships

●​ Situational relationships (sometimes called "situationships")

These different forms of relationships can vary greatly in terms of closeness, and there are also different

subtypes of relationships within each of these basic types. Some of the different kinds of relationships that

you might experience at some point in your life include the following:

●​ Platonic Relationships- A platonic relationship is a type of friendship that involves a close,

intimate bond without sex or romance. These relationships tend to be characterized by:

o​ Closeness

o​ Fondness

o​ Understanding

o​ Respect

o​ Care

o​ Support

o​ Honesty

o​ Acceptance

Platonic relationships can occur in a wide range of settings and can involve same-sex or opposite-sex

friendships. You might form a platonic relationship with a classmate or co-worker, or you might make a

connection with a person in another setting such as a club, athletic activity, or volunteer organization you

are involved in.

●​ Romantic Relationships- Romantic relationships are those characterized by feelings of love and

attraction for another person. While romantic love can vary, it often involves feelings of

infatuation, intimacy, and commitment. Romantic relationships tend to change over time. At the

start of a relationship, people typically experience stronger feelings of passion. During this initial

infatuation period, the brain releases specific neurotransmitters (dopamine, oxytocin, and

serotonin) that cause people to feel euphoric and "in love." Over time, these feelings start to

lessen in their intensity. As the relationship matures, people develop deeper levels of emotional

intimacy and understanding.

●​ Casual Relationships- Casual relationships often involve dating relationships that may include

sex without expectations of monogamy or commitment. However, experts suggest that the term is

vague and can mean different things to different people. According to the authors of one study

published in the Canadian Journal of Human Sexuality, casual relationships can encompass

situations such as:

o​ One-night stands

o​ Booty calls

o​ "Sex" buddies

o​ Friends with benefits

Casual relationships are often common among young adults. As long as casual relationships are

marked by communication and consent, they can have several sex-positive benefits. They can

satisfy the need for sex, intimacy, connection, and companionship without the emotional demand

and energy commitment of a more serious relationship.

●​ Open Relationships- An open relationship is a type of consensually non-monogamous

relationship in which one or more partners have sex or relationships with other people. Both

people agree to have sex with other people in an open relationship but may have certain

conditions or limitations. Open relationships can take place in any type of romantic relationship,
 whether casual, dating, or married. The likelihood of engaging in an open relationship also

depends on gender and sexual orientation. Men reported having higher numbers of open

relationships compared to women; people who identify as gay, lesbian, and bisexual relative to

those who identify as heterosexual were more likely to report previous engagement in open

relationships. Such relationships can have benefits, including increased sexual freedom and

pitfalls such as jealousy and emotional pain. Open relationships are more successful when

couples establish personal, emotional, and sexual boundaries and clearly communicate their

feelings and needs with one another.

●​ Toxic Relationships- A toxic relationship is any type of interpersonal relationship where your

emotional, physical, or psychological well-being is undermined or threatened in some way. Such

relationships often leave you feeling ashamed, humiliated, misunderstood, or unsupported.

Any type of relationship can be toxic including friendships, family relationships, romantic

relationships, or workplace relationships.

Toxic relationships are characterized by:

o​ A lack of support

o​ Blaming

o​ Competitiveness

o​ Controlling behaviors

o​ Disrespect

o​ Dishonesty

o​ Gaslighting

o​ Hostility

o​ Jealousy

o​ Passive-aggressive behaviors

o​ Poor communication

o​ Stress
 Toxic relationships can be stressful, harmful, and even abusive. If you are in a toxic relationship

with someone in your life, work on creating strong boundaries to protect yourself. Talk to a

mental health professional or consider terminating the relationship if it is causing you harm.

How to Build a Healthy Relationship

All romantic relationships go through ups and downs and they all take work, commitment, and a

willingness to adapt and change with your partner. But whether your relationship is just starting out or

you’ve been together for years, there are steps you can take to build a healthy relationship. Even if you’ve

experienced a lot of failed relationships in the past or have struggled before to rekindle the fires of

romance in your current relationship, you can find ways to stay connected, find fulfillment, and enjoy

lasting happiness.

Regardless of how you define your relationship, there are important steps you can take to ensure that your

connection is healthy. Strategies that can help include:

●​ Showing appreciation and gratitude

●​ Communicating openly and honestly

o​ Tell your partner what you need, don't make them guess

o​ Take note of your partner's nonverbal cues

o​

●​ Being affectionate and showing that you care

●​ Mutual respect

●​ Actively listening

●​ Showing interest in each other

o​ Keep physical intimacy alive

●​ Being supportive and encouraging

 ●​ Feeling empathy for each other

●​ Spending time together

o​ Commit to spending some quality time together on a regular basis.

o​ Find something that you enjoy doing together

o​ Try something new together

o​ Focus on having fun together

●​ Having healthy boundaries

●​ Being trustworthy

Communication is often the single most important thing in a relationship. Good relationships are also

marked by honesty, trust, and reciprocity. This doesn't mean that the relationship is purely transactional, it

indicates that you naturally engage in a give and take that provides mutually beneficial support.

●​ How Relationships Fail - Every relationship represents a leap of faith for at least one partner,

and even in the happiest couples, the very traits that once attracted them to each other can

eventually become annoyances that drive them apart. Acquiring the skills to make a connection

last is hard work, and threats may spring up without notice. In short-term, casual relationships,

neither partner may see a truly viable long-term future together, but often only one takes action, in

some cases ghosting the other, walking out of their lives with no communication, not even a text.