MODULE 8:

Emotional Intelligence

Big Question: How can you manage your emotions?

Objectives:
At the end of the module, you will be able to:
1. discuss that understanding the intensity and differentiation of your

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emotions may help in communicating emotional expressions;
2. explore your positive and negative emotions and how you express or hide
them, and
3. demonstrate and create ways to manage various emotions

Reading: EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE

More Than One Kind of Intelligence

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You may have heard people mention "IQ" when talking about intellect and
how smart someone is. (For example, "My brother doesn't need to study as much as
I do because he has a really high IQ.") IQ stands for "intellectual quotient." It can
help predict how well someone may do academically. IQ is just one measure of our
abilities, though.
There are many other kinds of intelligence in addition to intellect. For
example, spatial intelligence is the ability to think in 3D. Musical intelligence is the
ability to recognize rhythm, cadence, and tone. Athletic, artistic, and mechanical
abilities are other types of intelligence.
One important type of intelligence is emotional intelligence.

What Is Emotional Intelligence?

Emotional intelligence is the ability to understand, use, and manage
our emotions.
Emotional intelligence is sometimes called EQ (or EI) for short. Just as a high
IQ can predict top test scores, a high EQ can predict success in social and emotional
situations. EQ helps us build strong relationships, make good decisions, and deal

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with difficult situations.
One way to think about EQ is that it's part of being people-smart.
Understanding and getting along with people helps us be successful in almost any
area of life. In fact, some studies show that EQ is more important than IQ when it
comes to doing well in school or being successful at work.

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Improving Your EQ
Emotional intelligence is a combination of several different skills:

Being Aware of Your Emotions

Most people feel many different emotions throughout the day. Some feelings
(like surprise) last just a few seconds. Others may stay longer, creating a mood like
happiness or sadness. Being able to notice and accurately label these everyday
feelings is the most basic of all the EQ skills. Being aware of emotions — simply
noticing them as we feel them — helps us manage our own emotions. It also helps

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us understand how other people feel. But some people might go through the entire
day without really noticing their emotions. Practice recognizing emotions as you feel
them. Label them in your mind (for example, by saying to yourself "I feel grateful," "I
feel frustrated," etc.). Make it a daily habit to be aware of your emotions.

Understanding How Others Feel and Why

People are naturally designed to try to understand others. Part of EQ is being
able to imagine how other people might feel in certain situations. It is also about
understanding why they feel the way they do. Being able to imagine what emotions
a person is likely to be feeling (even when you don't actually know) is
called empathy. Empathy helps us care about others and build good friendships and
relationships. It guides us on what to say and how to behave around someone who is
feeling strong emotions.

Managing Emotional Reactions

We all get angry. We all have disappointments. Often it's important to
express how you feel. But managing your reaction means knowing when, where,
and how to express yourself. When you understand your emotions and know how to
manage them, you can use self-control to hold a reaction if now is not the right time

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or place to express it. Someone who has good EQ knows it can damage
relationships to react to emotions in a way that's disrespectful, too intense, too
impulsive, or harmful.

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Choosing Your Mood
Part of managing emotions is choosing our moods. Moods are emotional
states that last a bit. We have the power to decide what mood is right for a situation,

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and then to get into that mood. Choosing the right mood can help someone get
motivated, concentrate on a task, or try again instead of giving up. People with good
EQ know that moods aren't just things that happen to us. We can control them by
knowing which mood is best for a particular situation and how to get into that mood.

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EQ: Under Construction
Emotional intelligence is something that develops as we get older. If it didn't,
all adults would act like little kids, expressing their emotions physically through
stomping, crying, hitting, yelling, and losing control!
Some of the skills that make up emotional intelligence develop earlier. They
may seem easier: For example, recognizing emotions seems easy once we know
what to pay attention to. But the EQ skill of managing emotional reactions and
choosing a mood might seem harder to master. That's because the part of the brain
that's responsible for self-management continues to mature beyond our teen years.
But practice helps those brain pathways develop.
We can all work to build even stronger emotional intelligence skills just by
recognizing what we feel, understanding how we got there, understanding how
others feel and why, and putting our emotions into heartfelt words when we need to.

Source: [Link]

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Activity: INTRODUCTION TO EMOTIONS
Emotions are what you feel on the inside when things happen. Emotions are
also known as feelings.
1. Afraid: feeling fear and worry
2. Angry: feeling mad with a person, act, or idea
3. Ashamed: feeling bad after doing wrong
4. Confident: feeling able to do something
5. Confused: feeling unable to think clear
6. Depressed: feeling sad, blue, discouraged, and unhappy
7. Embarrassed: feeling worried about what others may think
8. Energetic: feeling full of energy

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9. Excited: feeling happy and aroused
10. Glad: feeling joy and pleasure
11. Jealous: feeling upset when someone has something that you would like to
have or they get to do something you wanted
12. Lonely: feeling alone and that nobody cares
13. Proud: feeling pleased for doing well

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14. Relaxed: feeling at ease and without worry, calm
15. Stressed: feeling tense, tired, uneasy, and overwhelmed

Source: [Link]

Activity: EXPLORING EMOTIONS

Emotion What was happening when you felt this emotion?
Afraid
Angry
Ashamed
Confident
Confused
Depressed
Embarrassed
Energetic
Excited
Glad
Jealous
Lonely
Proud
Relaxed
Stressed

What are the top three feelings that you do not like to have most?

Activity: I AM…
Emotional self-awareness is the ability to recognize one’s own feelings. In
your journal, complete each statement based on how you feel. Use the blanks to add
your own feeling words.

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Examples:
I am most happy when .
I feel embarrassed when .
I think negative thoughts about myself when .
I am when .
I feel when .
I think about when .
I am when .
I feel when .
I think about when .

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Dealing with Difficult Emotions
Shyness and anger are two emotions that can be difficult to manage in some
situations. Let us learn about them and how we can manage them to be able to be
more effective in dealing with others.

Portfolio Output No. 15: Reflection on “Exploring Emotions” and “I Am”

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Write on:
1. The emotions you have felt recently and the circumstances in which you felt
them;
2. Your emotional self-awareness; and
3. What you learned through these exercises and how you can use these
learnings to improve your emotional development.

Reading: TYPES OF RESPONSES

Passive response: Behaving passively means not expressing your own needs and
feelings, or expressing them so weakly that they will not be addressed.
 If Geneva behaves passively, by standing in line and not saying anything, she
will probably feel angry with the girls and herself. If the ticket office runs out of
tickets before she gets to the head of the line, she will be furious and might
blow up at the girls after it's too late to change the situation.
 A passive response is not usually in your best interest, because it allows
other people to violate your rights. Yet there are times when being passive is
the most appropriate response. It is important to assess whether a situation is
dangerous and choose the response most likely to keep you safe.
Aggressive response: Behaving aggressively is asking for what you want or saying
how you feel in a threatening, sarcastic or humiliating way that may offend the other
person(s).
 If Geneva calls the girls names or threatens them, she may feel strong for a
moment, but there is no guarantee she will get the girls to leave. More
importantly, the girls and their friend may also respond aggressively, through
a verbal or physical attack on Geneva.
 An aggressive response is never in your best interest, because it almost
always leads to increased conflict
Assertive response: Behaving assertively means asking for what you want or
saying how you feel in an honest and respectful way that does not infringe on
another person's rights or put the individual down.
 If Geneva tells the girls they need to go to the end of the line because other
people have been waiting, she will not put the girls down, but merely state the

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 facts of the situation. She can feel proud for standing up for her rights. At the
same time, she will probably be supported in her statement by other people in
the line. While there is a good chance the girls will feel embarrassed and
move, there is also the chance that they will ignore Geneva and her needs
will not be met.
 An assertive response is almost always in your best interest, since it is your
best chance of getting what you want without offending the other person(s).
At times, however, being assertive can be inappropriate. If tempers are high,
if people have been using alcohol or other drugs, if people have weapons or if
you are in an unsafe place, being assertive may not be the safest choice.

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Activity: AM I ASSERTIVE?
Assertiveness is the ability to express your wishes and beliefs in a positive
way. Too little assertiveness can make you a doormat. Too much, and you can be
bossy and aggressive.
1. Think of a time when you were a doormat.
What happened? .

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What did you do? .
How did you feel? .
Now think of a better way to handle that situation in the future. Write a better
response and practice it.

2. Think of a time when you were too bossy.

What happened? .
What did you do? .
How did you feel? .
Now think of a better way to handle that situation in the future. Write a better
response and practice it.

Activity: GET A GRIP ON ANGER

Sometimes people use anger to get their way. Being assertive doesn’t mean
getting your way; it means that you can express your wishes and beliefs in a non-
destructive way. Some examples of how people deal with anger are listed below.
Brainstorm some ways that are used to deal with anger. Include both good and bad
methods. When you have finished with a list, decide on the methods that are healthy
ways to deal with anger.

 Throw things
 Scream
 Count to 10



Source: [Link]

Activity: RESPONSIBLE ACTION SHEET

I am the BOSS of my feelings!
1. When I get angry, it helps me feel better if I
.

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 2. When I feel sad, it helps me feel better if I
.
3. When I feel anxious or nervous, it helps me feel better if I
.
4. When I feel grumpy, it helps me if I
.
5. When I feel lonely, it helps me if I
.
6. When I feel embarrassed, it helps if I
.
7. When I feel sick, it helps me feel better if I

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.
8. When I feel silly, I like to
.
9. When I feel disappointed, it helps me if I
.
10. When I am honest, I feel

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.
11. When I feel , it helps me feel better if I
.

Source: © 2011 by Education World®.

[Link]
[Link]

Portfolio Output No. 16: Responsible Action

What have you learned in this Unit on Aspects of Personal Development?
Write down your plans to take responsible actions on your emotions.

End of Unit 2
Assessment

Unit 2: Aspects of Personal

Development List of Outputs for Portfolio:
Module 5:
9. My Stress Signals (Individual work
10. Project-To-Do (Group work)
Module 6:
11. Make a Mind Map (Individual work)

Module 7:
12. Media Influences (How Ads Affected My Self-Esteem) (Individual work)
13. Research on Anxiety or Depression (Individual work)

Module 8:
14. Response to “Tired at School” (Group work)
15. Reflection on “Exploring Emotions” and “I Am” (Individual work)
16. Responsible Action (Individual work)