The Inner Game of Dating:

The Secret Belief Systems that Master PUAs,

Naturals, and Ladies Men Use to Build
Confidence, Attract Women, and Get Dates

Josh Maverick of [Link]

Copyright
This book and the information contained herein are copyright Josh Maverick and Airtight Game and
may not be copied from, reproduced, or sold without prior written permission.

Disclaimer
The information contained in this book is provided for general information purposes only and does

not constitute legal or other professional advice on any subject matter. The author of this book does
not accept any responsibility for any loss which may arise from reliance on information contained
within this book.
About the Author
Josh Maverick is a dating and lifestyle coach based out of Atlanta, Georgia and Tucson, Arizona. He

believes that you can Become Your Best SelfTM through making a conscious commitment to growth

and by undertaking personal and social freedom exercises designed to expand you as a man. He also

believes that by communicating that best self through Integrity GameTM – the combination of the 4 key
values of honesty, integrity, congruence, and presence, along with training in communication and
relating – you can rise to the occasion in every area of your life. Josh has been in the game for over a

half decade and is the Founder and Executive Dating Coach at Airtight Game.
About Airtight Game
Airtight Game is a coaching company that helps men develop the communication skills to enjoy
healthy & successful relationships. We teach men how to communicate their real personalities

without lying, manipulating, or misleading, in order to build genuine attraction with the women they
meet. We primarily do this through our online training program. In this way, we hope to serve the
world by bringing the opposite sexes together in greater harmony.
Table of Contents
Forward
A Promise and A Reward
What is Inner Game?
Free Video Series to Help You Succeed
Part I: Motivations and Mindsets
Becoming Good with Women is a Skill You Can Learn Just Like Any Other Skill
Whether You Think You Can or You Can't, You're Right
There Is No Such Thing As Failure, Only Feedback
What Are Your Goals?
Goal Setting in 3 Steps
The Value of Being Open-Minded
Put Aside Your Criticisms and Limiting Beliefs for Now
Focus on the Process, Not the Outcome
Why You Need to Learn Cold Approach
Part II: Past Experiences and Outlook
How Past Experiences Can Shape You
Misogyny and Anger Towards Women
Letting Go of Judgment of the Past
How to Get Over an Ex
Giving Yourself Permission to Take on a New Identity
Part III: All about Ego
The Egoic Mind
How Ego Manifests in Pickup
What to Do If You See Negative Aspects of Ego Creeping Up
Part IV: Self Talk
What is Self Talk?
 Utilizing Space to Reframe Self Talk
A Nifty Pattern to Reframe Self Talk
The Power of Positive PRESENT Self Talk
Part V: Female Psychology
Change Her Mood, Not Her Mind
Women Live in the Emotion of the Moment, and Backwards Rationalize the Experience
She Will Test You
Part VI: Things to Remember
YOU Can Get Whatever You Want
A Rich Man Doesn't Have to Tell You He's Rich
You Are Not Here to Fix Anyone Else’s Problems
Part VI: All About State
State Explained
How to Get Into State
How to Change Your State with Your Physiology
Being Resilient Through Changes In State
Part VII: The Secret Traits of an Alpha Male
Lead and Take Responsibility
Go First
Assume Attraction
Be Non-Reactive
Be Honest – To A Point
Be Sure of Yourself
Adopt a Philosophy of Abundance
Do Things “Just Because” You Can
The Advent of Integrity GameTM
Part VIII: The 7 Beliefs to Get Success TONIGHT
The Genesis
Belief #1
 Belief #2
Belief #3
Belief #4
Belief #5
Belief #6
Belief #7
The 7 Beliefs to Get Success TONIGHT
Afterword
A Final Note
Having Trouble Locking In Some of the Changes in this Book?
Acknowledgments
Books by Josh Maverick
 Forward

“Nearly all men can stand adversity, but if you want to test a man's character, give him power.”

- Abraham Lincoln
 A Promise and A Reward

Becoming good with women is a skill you can learn just like any other skill.

Read that line again. It's powerful. In fact, it changed my life.

Listen, I've been there. Home alone on a Friday night. No one's picking up their phone.
There's not a girl in sight.

I was so sick of it that I went out on a mission: to approach hundreds of random, beautiful
women, and figure out how to attract and date women once and for all. After literally thousands of
hours in bars, nightclubs, bookstores, coffee shops, and even the supermarket, I've figured it out. And
I'd like to share it with you.

In order to get started on attracting and dating women, you’re going to need to get yourself
sorted out first. You can’t have mastery over your environment until you have mastery over yourself,
isn’t that correct? And you came to this book because there is some part of your inner psychology that
you want to get a better handle of, right? A part of you that makes you feel depressed, makes you feel

angry, or makes you feel worthless… if you’re anything like the thousands of guys I’ve helped over
the years.

It is my job to help you obliterate the parts of you that are holding yourself back, once and for
all. After that, attracting women and dating beautiful women becomes elementary.

This book is a toolbox of wisdom passed down through the pain and suffering of many others.
Hopefully you will be able to avoid the pitfalls that good men before you have endured in their quest
to become their best selves. I hope you get the absolute most out of it and that it changes your life. I
can tell you that it forever changed mine.
Your friend,

Josh Maverick
 What is Inner Game?

Inner game refers to your inner psychology, belief systems, and thoughts, and your level of

mastery over these machinations.

We each walk this Earth with different views about ourselves, women, and others. In order to
communicate the best part of ourselves to women, and to be happy with ourselves in general, we need
to have the best possible belief systems installed and running in our brains.

This is not usually easy. The path to solid inner game is a journey that can last for some time
as you grow and evolve as a man. However, setting a proper foundation is essential for forward
growth. Furthermore, you will see huge gains in your love life, work life, and life in general
IMMEDIATELY upon learning some ways of looking at things that are likely different from the ways
you’ve been conditioned to think.

When you learn to love yourself and achieve high levels of peace and self-esteem, your truest
self will shine through you like a beacon, casting an unwavering ray of attraction that is impossible
for others to resist. That is the goal from your endeavor to master your inner game. I wish you the

best of luck as you embark on your own personal journey to get your inner game mastered now.
 Free Video Series to Help You Succeed

In addition to the Inner Game work in this book, a lot of guys ask for help on the Outer Game

stuff, like what to say and do to generate attraction in women. I’ve created a free online video series
that many guys reading this book have found useful as they embark upon this program. It’s totally free
and you’ll have instant access to all the videos immediately. Click here to check it out.
Part I: Motivations and Mindsets

“You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take.”

- Wayne Gretsky
 Becoming Good with Women is a Skill You Can Learn
Just Like Any Other Skill

Becoming good with women is a skill that you can learn just like any other skill. If you learned
how to tie your shoes or learned how to ride a bike, you can become good with women.

This idea really changed my life when I learned it. It changed my life because I had learned to
do many other things well, but I never figured out how to have success with women. I thought it was

something that you either did have or didn’t have, and I didn’t have it, and that was that. But when I
discovered that becoming good with women was a skill that could be learned, much like how I
learned to play an instrument in grade school or ride a bike, that was a truly incredible discovery,
because it meant I could finally master an area I had yearned to master. From that moment forward, a
whole new world opened up to me.

That world is available to you now.

Becoming good with women is a skill you can learn like any other skill. It’s a skill you’ll have
to build, of course. Like riding a bike, you can only learn it while out there in the real world. You

might fall off a few times, you might get some scratches, but if you stick with it, you’ll learn. And
you’ll master it.

It's also similar to riding a bike in another way, because if you haven’t ridden a bike in a while,
you probably know that when you get back on after being off for some time, you’re going to be
wobbly. Since you’re a bit rusty, it’s going to take some time to get used to the feeling of being on the
bike again. But after a little bit, you’ll pick it right back up again, just where you left off, and you’ll
be off to the races in no time. Meeting women is like that too. If you’ve been out of the dating game
for a while, for example if you’ve just gotten out of a long term relationship or marriage, know that
while you might feel rusty at first, but you’ll soon regain any former skills you had, and from that
point forward you’ll be ready to build upon them.

Becoming good with women is a skill you can learn just like any other skill.
Whether You Think You Can or You Can't, You're Right

The phrase, “Whether you think you can, or you can’t, you’re right,” is a common one in self-

development and is usually attributed to Henry Ford. I’m here to tell you it applies just as much to
your love life as it does to any other area of self-development.

If you think you can do something, you're right, and if you think you can't do something, you're
also right. The reason behind this is that the mind is a very powerful thing. What you put your

intention to, you can achieve. And if you bet against yourself, you’ll surely lose.

For example, if you approach a woman and you’re going up to her thinking, “Oh man, she’s
totally going to reject me,” then she probably will. You’ll probably say or do something that will
blow you out, since subconsciously you don’t believe you can have the success with her that you
desire. It's going to be a self-fulfilling prophesy.

If, on the other hand, you think that the interaction you’re about to have with a new woman is
going to be awesome and that you guys are going to have a great time, you're probably going to be
able to demonstrate your best self and add authentic value to the interaction, and it will likely go

well.

Your mind is a powerful tool, so use it for your success, not against it.
 There Is No Such Thing As Failure, Only Feedback

The idea that there is no such thing as failure, only feedback, is another popular idea in the self-

development community, and it also applies equally well to meeting women as it does to other
endeavors. In fact I believe it applies even more so to meeting women, because if you go out and
approach a lot of women, you’re essentially iterating a process amongst a large sample of people,
conditions which are ideal for getting large amounts of accurate feedback.

There is no such thing as failure, only feedback. If you got the outcome you wanted, then you
succeeded. And if you got an outcome you didn’t want, then you have valuable feedback to learn
from. You're either going to learn, or you’re going to succeed. You never fail. The only time you fail
is when you don't try.

When you hold this belief your interactions take on a whole different light. When you view
your non-successes as purely social feedback you can celebrate them as something that is moving you
forward in your path to become better with women.

Every non-success is an opportunity to learn. And every success is something to both be

enjoyed and to add to your cache of positive reference experiences, creating a virtuous circle that
reinforces future success.

There is no such thing as failure, only feedback. You either learn or you succeed.
 What Are Your Goals?

As you ease into the notion of getting your inner game handled, once and for all, you need to ask

yourself, “What are my goals?” “What do I want to get out of this program?” It's absolutely essential
to have a clear set of goals. If you don't know what you want, then there's no chance you're going to
get it. These things just don’t happen by chance.

There is a part in the movie Alice in Wonderland where Alice is lost in the forest and she asks

the Cheshire cat, "Please help me, I’m lost. Which way do I go?" The Cheshire Cat replies, “Well, it
depends on where you want to end up." This is an astute piece of advice. If you don't know where
you want to end up, then there's no way you can chart a course to get to where you want to go.

Inner game is a deep topic and I don’t expect you to have all the answers right away, but check
in with yourself at this time. Make sure you’re committed to staying the course and that you’re
committed to your own conscious growth in the area of personal psychology as it relates to meeting
women. Take a moment to look inside to discover what you want to get out of this program, so that
when the times get tough, you know what you’re fighting for. This game can get tough at times, so it’s

important that you check in with yourself about the things that call pull you through, and do so now.
 Goal Setting in 3 Steps

All goals in life have three steps.

1) Figure out where you want to go and what it's going to look like when you get there.

First you’ve got to figure out what it is that you want, and exactly what it will look like when
you get there. The visualization aspect of this is key. It's not enough to know, “Oh, I want XYZ
thing.” You need to be able to create, in your mind, a picture or a movie of what it’s going to look

like once you get there.

What’s in the picture? What’s not in the picture? Who’s in the picture? Who’s not in the
picture? What are the qualities of the picture? What qualities aren’t in the picture? Visualize this
now as you discover where you want to go.

2) Figure out where you are now. Take an assessment. Take your inventory.

Second, you’ve got to figure out where you are now. You’ll have to do a cold hard look at
yourself, and be willing to see what’s working, as well as what’s not. You won’t be able to fool

yourself here – not if you want to have any lasting chance of making out to the other side. It’s time to
be really honest with yourself and take some inventory.

What are your strengths? What are your weaknesses? Where are you at in your life right now?
What’s working for you? What isn’t working for you? This is where you separate the oil from the
water and see what’s really under the surface.

3) Devise a plan. Execute it. Get there.

The third step is your action step. You have your point A, and you have your point B. Step
three is about plotting a course between point A and point B, committing to that course, and executing
a strategy to get there.

I literally mean a plan. If you're someone that learns by writing things down, write your plan

down. If you're someone who's more auditory, get a recorder and record yourself saying it. Play it
back every day when you wake up and every night before you go to sleep. If you’re more visual,

create a vision board, or create a collage, or write a note – whatever it is you have to do to make this
plan real and to begin taking action on it now.

Once you know what your goals are, you’ll need to add in the other details like the when and
the how. This will assist you in actually getting these goals accomplished. I’ve found one of the most

effective ways to phrase goals is by writing them as having been already accomplished by a certain

date. For example, “I will easily meditate a half hour a day for 30 days straight by July 1st , 2014.”
Or “I will easily have read 10 books on inner game, personal development, and spiritual growth by

December 31st , 2014.”

By writing goals down in a way that focuses on their completion, rather than your desire to
accomplish them, you change the focus of the goal from if you will achieve the goal to how you will
achieve the goal, since the if is taken as a given. And by stating the date that your goal is
accomplished, you create the vision in your mind of your goals completion and allow yourself to be

accountable to that date.

Discovering what my goals are, creating a plan to accomplish them, and phrasing them in ways
that support their completion have allowed me to accomplish massive goals in my life that I never
thought I would achieve, like writing a best-selling book, getting the car of my dreams, or meeting the
woman of my dreams. I hope it has the same powerful effect on you as it has had on me.
 The Value of Being Open-Minded

There is strong value in being open-minded. Being open-minded allows you to explore options

you wouldn’t have access to in a more closed off state. In this way being open-minded allows you to
enjoy much more rapid progress with the goals you’re working on. For example, if you go into a
social growth exercise with a closed mind, thinking that it’s stupid and worthless, then you're going to
be right and you're going to be destined for failure. But if, on the other hand, you have an open mind

towards the exercises that you’re doing to grow in your social life, you’re going to be much more
likely to find success, as you keenly explore all the options available to you.

If you’re serious about growth in your social or dating life, having an open mind is going to
make things exponentially easier. After all, you're going to be exploring new ways to interact with
people, new ways in which to look at yourself, and new, more effective identities to take on in terms
of how you relate to the world. You’re going to need to give yourself permission to explore that,
which can only happen with an open mind.

It might sound obvious that you’re going to need to give yourself permission to explore this new

area with an open mind, but you’d be surprised at the number of guys that don’t allow themselves to
do that. And they fail because of their closed-mindedness. As you begin to internalize some of the
powerful material in this book, you’ll start seeing instances in which you are or are not giving
yourself permission to act in a certain way. We’ll go into this in more detail later, but keep this in
mind – an open mind is the key to your success in any new endeavor.
 Put Aside Your Criticisms and Limiting Beliefs for Now

I’m going to ask you to put aside your criticisms and limiting beliefs for now. Put aside that

part of your mind that’s conditioned to think in a limiting way, that starts screaming the second you
hear something that conflicts with the reality that you currently believe to be true. That part that
criticizes and judges everything that isn’t packaged in the way it’s used to seeing. This part of your
brain will likely start triggering like mad as you continue reading this book (if it hasn’t started

already). And that’s okay – it’s what the mind does. What I’m asking you to do, consciously, is to
temporarily set that aside so you can give yourself a fair chance to appreciate what you’re going to
learn in this book.

You may initially be critical of some of the things you’re going to learn in this book, and that’s
okay. But I do believe it's in your best interest to set aside those criticisms initially to give yourself a
chance to try on these new belief systems to see how they fit you.

If you don’t like them, that’s fine. You can discard them and go back to the way you were
thinking before. But I think you will like them, and either way, you ought to give them a fair shot.

This means trying them out, without resistance, to see how they truly feel for you. Once you get a
clear idea about how they fit, you can decide the best way for you to bring these beliefs into your life
moving forward.

More likely than not, you’re here because you want more success in your dating life. Perhaps
you want more abundance. Or perhaps you want more stability being tired of the ups and downs you
go through as you navigate this dating game. Whatever the case may be, there are things you want to
have that you don’t currently have. There is something in your life that you want to increase.

On some level, would it be fair to say that things aren’t totally working at the moment? That the
frames you’ve been using thus far haven’t been fully effective, because if they were, you wouldn’t be
here in the first place? I know that’s a sort of bitter pill to swallow, and I had to swallow it too (with

a hell of a chaser), but there is absolution on the other side of this realization. That absolution is the
truth that you can grow, and change, once and for all, if only you’re brave enough to set aside the

mental chatter, the resistance, and the mind’s bullshit long enough to realize the value inherent in these
lessons.

Give yourself permission to adopt these new belief systems and behaviors for some time – at
least a few weeks, perhaps a few months. Try it on for size. You don't really have anything to lose.

If you like the frames, and you get success with them – which I believe you will – then great!
Continue onward! If not, you can always go back to doing whatever works best for you.
 Focus on the Process, Not the Outcome

Many of the men who are reading this book are doing so as they take active strides to go out of

their house to meet women in the real world. If you’re doing that, then you know you’re building a
skillset. You’re building the skillset of meeting women, of systematically building attraction with
them, and learning how best to navigates dates and relationships with the. While you’re building this
skillset, your focus should be on mastering the process, not on achieving any particular outcome.

Let’s look at a concrete example of this. If I'm out with a student and he's new, I’m going to
teach him how to open. Opening refers to beginning conversations with people whom you do not
already know. He wants to get laid, of course, but we’re out in the field and I’m showing him how to
open. If he gets laid, that’s great, but the focus is on building a skillset. I want him to build the
skillset of opening. I don’t care as much, in that moment, about the result of any one interaction.
We’re building a skill there.

It’s kind of like the old saying about giving a man a fish versus teaching him how to fish. If you
give him a fish, he’s fed for a day. One time. That’s it. If you teach him how to fish, he can feed

himself for the rest of his life. I want to teach you how to fish. I want to teach you how to get this
area handled once and for all, and have it handled for the rest of your life.

Let’s go back to our example with the student pushing his comfort zone by going up to women
he hasn’t yet met and beginning conversations with them. When I go out with this student, I’m going to
show him how to open successfully and what that looks like. I’m going to show him the first few
minutes of an interaction with someone whom I do not already know, so he can get an idea of the
model in real life. Let’s assume, as is most often the case, that when I do it, it looks great and
effortless, but when he does it, it looks pretty god damn awful. He’s going in, and nearly
immediately, he’s getting blown out. He’s going in, lasting for a second or two, and getting blown
out. Going in, and getting blown out.

This usually happens on repeat, as he learns what works and what doesn’t and acclimates to the

things that are obvious to veterans of this game, but that newbies don’t yet have reference experiences
for – such as not lunging violently toward a woman as he tries to get her attention during an opener.

For him, the repeat experience of getting blow out time and time again may suck. It may feel pretty
shitty, and it may feel that way for a while in there.

What I’m going to tell the student, in this situation, is that it’s okay, that I’m proud of him for
going in there and giving it his best shot, and not to worry, because we’re learning a process here.

He’s building a skillset – a brand new one, at that – and he’s going to make mistakes. This is totally
fine. I’m going to tell him to focus on the process, not the outcome. I’m going to tell him to focus on
the process of building this new skill set.

This does two things. First, it lets him know that it’s okay. What he’s experiencing is natural
and normal, and he’s not to be discouraged. Second, it lets him see the big picture, moving past the
initial blow of being rejected, and realize what he’s really doing out here in the field. This will take
him out of the state of disappointment and into a state of learning and excitement. A valuable place to
be.

Building the skillset is more important than getting laid that night. I don't care if he gets laid
that particular night. I want him to get laid a lot eventually when he gets this area of his life handled. I
want him to get into a relationship (if that’s his goal), and achieve all those other benchmarks of
success, but at this time, learning the skill set is the priority.

When I’m out, trying something new, I have no idea how it’s going to go. I have to detach
myself from the outcome of whatever it is I’m doing, with the understanding that I’m building a
skillset. Of course I'm going to be happy if it works. Hell yeah I’m going to be happy, because I used
my intuition to chart a new course and executed it well enough for it to work out. But if it doesn’t
work out, that’s fine too, as I'm creating a process. I, too, focus on the process, not the outcome.

Whatever your skill level is in this game, you ought to focus on the process, not on the

outcome. This kind of objective thinking will get you far in this game.
 Why You Need to Learn Cold Approach

Cold approach is the art and science of going up to people whom you do not previously know

and beginning an interaction with them. I personally believe that EVERYONE needs to learn Cold
Approach.

You have to learn the art and the science of going up to a group of strangers, introducing
yourself in some sort of way, and transitioning into a normal conversation from there. You need to be

able to convey the attractive, compelling qualities of yourself and need to be able to take the
interaction forward. Whether this means meeting a girl and making her your girlfriend, or nailing a
job interview, or going up a group of guys, creating mutual value, and building a business together,
you need to be able to interact with other humans in this world to build mutual value. And if you have
to interact in some way, it may as well be in an effective way.

When you move to a new city, you’re going to have to use the Cold Approach skillset. When
you start a new job, you’re going to have to use the Cold Approach skillset. When you meet people at
a cocktail party, you’re going to have to use the Cold Approach skillset. It's just normal, human

social interaction – but done with great care. And you're going to need to know how to do it.

Unfortunately Cold Approach is not something taught in school. Even basic social skills aren’t
taught in school. Children are just thrust into social environments and expected to figure it out. Some
do, but many don’t. That’s the reality of the situation.

One of the underlying reasons why the seduction community has gotten such a bad rap, in my
opinion, is because we teach these base level fundamental skills. The things that people are just
“supposed to know”. The things that “naturally” come out from survival of the fittest when you throw
enough mammals into a group setting. The seduction community has shortcut all of that. We have the
cheat codes. We know what works. And we teach it.

We teach it to the “losers”. We teach it to those at the bottom of the barrel. And they rise to the

top. And they overcome. And they get the women, the influence, and the power. And all of a sudden,
it’s “not fair”. We’ve cheated the system. But have we? I think not. I think we’ve used the gift of

human intelligence, the gift we’ve had all along, to optimize a process that we’ve been doing since
the beginning of time.

Proper socialization techniques were not something we were taught in school, nor was it
something we were taught by our fathers, at least not very well. We must admit that we were NEVER

really taught how to properly socialize with one another. We're thrown into school systems at a young
age and people tease each other and bully each other and make one another feel less than or greater
than someone else and from a very early age we're identifying with the ways in which we're being
treated. And this occurs for better or worse.

You have a guy, and because he hasn’t spoken up much in the context of the environment he’s
found himself in up until that point, he’s labelled the shy guy. And he himself begins to take on that
identity. He’s “shy Sam”. But is he really? Or has he never had the opportunity to express himself
readily? Has he never had the opportunity or encouragement to open up? And is that going to hurt

him someday, in his own life? Probably, because in order to have a level of success in this world,
you’re going to need to have the ability to speak up for yourself and be proactive in social situations.

On the other hand, you might have a guy named Jim who receives positive reference
experiences from a young age. Maybe it’s for sports. In the US, that’s a likely scenario for someone
with marginally superior early athletic ability. People praise Jim, they coddle him for his talents, and
they tell him he’s good and that he matters. Jim will most likely end up doing quite well in life, given
the early reference experiences that he was able to have.

It's unfortunate that we don't teach kids in kindergarten that everyone has an equal potential to
succeed. Not by blowing politically correct smoke up their ass, but by actually showing them
legitimate pathways to do it. And letting them know that they can do it, that there are legitimate

systems to learn socialization skills, no matter what form they take.

Pickup and Cold Approach changed the whole game. It turned everything on it’s head. It gave

everyone the tools.

You're going to have to learn Cold Approach. You’re always “running game” – it’s just either
good game or bad game. And if you’re not abiding by the universal principles of good game, you’re
likely running bad game.

Going into the nitty gritty fundamentals of outer game, like what to do, what to say, and how to
touch a girl, is outside of the scope of this book. The first book in the Airtight Game series, Get the
Girl in 30 Days or Less: 30 Step-by-Step Missions for PUAs, Naturals, and Guys Just Like You to
Attract Women and Get Dates is about that. This book is about going deep into Inner Game. These
are the deep machinations of your mind and how that relates to your success as a man in the world.
Both of these areas, both inner game and outer game, are critically important. As you grow your inner
game, with this book, make sure to take care of your outer game as well. Because no matter if you
think you’re not “running game”, you’re influencing other people all the time, and for that to be as

effective as it can be, you’re going to have to learn Cold Approach.

 Part II: Past Experiences and Outlook

“Who controls the past controls the future. Who controls the present controls the past.”

- George Orwell
 How Past Experiences Can Shape You

The experiences you've had in your past can greatly shape the way you act in the future. If you

allow them to take control of your life, you're going to be a slave to your past experiences. If you’re a
slave to your past experiences, you’re not going to be very happy, and you’re going to regularly
experience negative emotions such as anxiety, guilt, and shame as you think about your past and bring
the judgment of the past into the present. Have you already fallen into this trap?

Falling into this trap can be an easy thing to do. From a young age we begin having
experiences, the majority of which are recorded in our memory. Some of these experiences are
unpleasant, and we can carry these with us into our future for years or even decades. Our past
experiences influences our outlook for the future, so if our past is bleak, and we haven’t come to
terms with it, then our future is likely to look bleak as well. Because we want to avoid this outcome,
integrating our past experiences into a coherent narrative that empowers us in our present state is key.

In the chapters in this section I’m going to go over some of the most common inner game
hang-ups that come from unfortunate experiences in the past and create bleak situations for the future.

By bringing these common hang-ups into conscious awareness we can call them out if we see them,
enabling us to bring them to a positive resolution.
 Misogyny and Anger Towards Women

If you’re reading this book the odds are that you haven’t had as much success with women in

the past as you would have liked. And you’re in good company. That’s why we all came to this
community, and it’s the reason why we’re all here.

But despite having negative experiences with particular women, some guys generalize these
experiences onto all women. Some guys get really misogynistic about their past – and this breeds a

lot of negativity and hostility. Women are expert at picking up on this and can pick up that frequency
before you even open your mouth.

Misogyny manifests in different ways. For some men it’s really explicit, saying things like,
“All women are sluts.” For others it’s more subtle. For them it’s an attitude of disrespect towards
women, the belief that they are incompetent or inferior, or downright psychological bullying.

Some of the men who are dealing with issues of misogyny and anger towards women get
particularly drawn to the seduction community on the promise of power that will enable them to “get
back at those bitches” that turned them down in high school or college. Sometimes they’ll use that

“power” to overtly hurt other people. This is horrible and is absolutely what we don’t want to be
doing.

If you’re dealing with any amount of misogyny or anger towards women, it’s important to be
aware of it. When that little part of you comes up that says, “That girl is a slut”, it’s your job as a man
to identify that and starve it of as much mental energy as you can. When the part of you that hates
women on some level from past experiences crops it’s head up again, it is your job to cut it off. Any
sort of rationalization that justifies why you are right about that belief, any sort of thought that attempts
to move you further in that direction, it is your job to starve it. Let it die. Let it wither away and die.
 If you're a misogynistic man and you're angry towards women, I’ve got news for you – the jig is

up. This sort of energy comes right through to women. You might as well be wearing a billboard on

your head. And it has negative consequences for the individual interactions you’re having, too.

First of all, once a woman realizes that you have anger and misogyny towards women, it’s

going to completely nerf any interaction you’re having and any attraction a woman has toward you. In
addition to that, it’s likely going to hurt the woman you're talking to. She’s going to go from being
interested and intrigued in you to being extremely turned off and hurt by you, and no one is to blame
but you. This behavior takes value from the world. It feeds further into your own existential pain,

making things worse for you and continuing this cycle. And it creates disconnection and chaos that
will follow you everywhere you go. It's dumb. It's stupid. Just let it go.

If you’re dealing with bitterness towards women, don't feed into it. Try to forgive what’s
happened. Accept responsibility for the part you played in it when it happened, and move on. Try to
focus on having different experiences from this point forward.

Misogyny and anger towards women does not lead to relationships where you’re going to
experience genuine connection and mutual relating. It leads to relationships where more than likely
you're going to experience more of the same because women are going to sense that you're bitter.

They're going to use you for whatever advantage they can get from you, and they're going to think,
“Well I can't really relate to this guy, but he's fun to hang out with, maybe we can go have a few drinks
or something,” and you're going to get more negative reference experiences that reinforce your
bitterness toward women. And it's going to hurt her too. She might think deep down that you're a
good guy, but she won’t be fully able to open herself up to you and give you her all because she can't
trust you to love her – because you hate women.

It's very simple to understand why this is important, but it’s difficult to emphasize just how
important it is to completely and totally let go of all the anger and bitterness you have towards
women. If you need to talk to a psychologist about it, talk to a psychologist about it. If you need to

read some books about it, read some books about it. If you need to meditate, then meditate. Do

whatever it is you need to do to get a handle on it.

One way to let go of anger and misogyny towards women is to come from a place of genuine

appreciation of what the woman is doing, what she is bringing to the table, and what she can offer.
See the best in her, instead of seeing the worst in her.

Another way to let go of anger and misogyny towards women is to let go of judgment of her.
It's funny, because as a prerequisite for letting go of judgment of her, you’re required to let go of

judging yourself. A lot of you judging others is really a projection of your own judgment. It has been
said, “Our judgments about others don't define them, they define us.” And that's true. That's what
women are going to see if you're being overly judgmental, if you're being misogynistic, if you're even
the slightest bit bitter about anything in your life. They're not going to say, “Oh that sucks that that
happened to him.” They're going to say, “Oh, he must not like himself in that area of his life,” and
they're not going to want to associate with you.

Get this area of your psyche handled and you’ll see phenomenal growth in your ability to
make connections with women. You love women, don’t you? If you can’t answer a resounding “Yes”

to that question, then you have some work to do.

 Letting Go of Judgment of the Past

Letting go of judgment of the past is essential if you want to have success with women, and

moreover, if you want to have more peace in your everyday life. There are many different ways to let
go of judgment of the past and different things work for different people. Here are some things that
have helped myself and others let go of judgment of the past.

Positive Reference Experiences

Getting positive reference experiences to replace your identity from one of low value to one of
high value is one way to grow out of old habits of thinking and let go of the past. Go out there and get
positive reference experiences, which you’ll find, over time, replace your older, more negative
reference experiences. And as you replace your negative reference experiences with positive ones,
you’ll further validate your new reality, creating a virtuous circle in your life. One point to be aware
of is that you can sometimes bring your old baggage with you into new situations, so make sure to
keep a keen eye on your thought patterns and your subsequent behaviors as you get out there and take
on new experiences.

Journaling

Journaling is a powerful way to process past events. One of the reasons it’s powerful is
because it allows you to reframe how the events of your past relate to the circumstances you find
yourself in in the present.

Recent findings have suggested that more important than the experiences we’ve had being
factors in our present day happiness are the stories, or narratives, that we tell ourselves about the
experiences we’ve had. Journaling can help you reframe the experiences you’ve had in your past as
you express yourself in the present. For more on the idea of narrative having an impact on day to day
life, see the work of psychologist Daniel Kahneman.

Reading Books on Self-Development

Reading books on self-development, like this one, can have a massive impact on your brain

and its ability to let go of judgment. The reason for this is that books on self-development make you
think in new ways, and the process of learning (as well as the material you’re learning) can literally
upgrade your brain. It has been shown in scientific research that, “Neurons that fire together, wire
together.” What this means is that as you use certain parts of your brain, the connections between
them get stronger, in the same way that working out makes a muscle stronger. By reading books on

self-development, you work out your brain. And if you’re choosing the right books, you’re also
providing valuable content that can reshape your reality by introducing new content into your mental
ecosystem. In this way, reading books can help you to let go of judgment of the past and look towards
the future.

Talking to Friends or Family

A good friend or family member can be worth his or her weight in gold. Talking to friends
or family that you trust can help you process emotions, get things of your chest, and give you a
sounding board as you discover new directions that you want to take your life in. Talking to those that

love you is a great way to let go of the past and of your judgment of it.

Talking to a Professional

If you need professional help, talk to a professional like a psychologist, psychiatrist, or other
medical professional. I’ve found professionals to be very helpful in navigating some of the difficult
parts in life. There is no shame in realizing that you could benefit from the help of a healthcare
professional and being proactive about your future. There is only honor in doing the things you need
to do to get the job done.
Meditation

Meditation has been shown time and time again to be effective with nearly every issue –

mental, emotional, and spiritual. Recent studies have shown that meditation actually changes the
structure of the brain, making the cerebral cortex thicker, which might increase resiliency and

decrease chances of succumbing to depression (see research by Columbia University stating this).
For those looking for a crash course on meditation, I recommend looking at the Vipassana 10 Day
meditation camps. They are free to anyone who wants to attend and were my first foray into
meditation as a practice. This course changed my life and I would recommend it to anyone.

Spiritual Solutions to Material Problems

A final thing I want to mention is that for every problem in the material world, there is a
spiritual component to it. There is much wisdom in attacking problems at the root level from which
they occur. This is one truth that I’ve learned firsthand from my time here on this blue and green
rock. Going into specifics is beyond the scope and purpose of this book, but keep your eyes open for
things that come across your radar – they normally enter your awareness for a reason. Pursue all
aspects of your growth with an open mind and an open heart. You might be surprised to see the
directions you find yourself going in.
 How to Get Over an Ex

Getting over an ex is a topic that I get asked about a lot and certainly falls under the category of

past experiences and outlook. I've gone through this personally, as well as helped tons of guys ease
through painful situations like this, so I have a rather large body of knowledge to draw from.

A breakup is like any other loss, so you’ll go through the cycle of denial, anger, bargaining,
depression, and acceptance (Kübler-Ross “grief cycle” model). Depending on when it “hit” you, you

may have been caught off guard. I know that I have been caught totally off guard by a breakup before,
in my earlier stage of dating when I didn’t know much about human psychology, interpersonal
relationships, and the kinds of things to look for when a relationship is on the rocks. It’s also
possible that you may have seen the end coming and had a little time to mentally prepare for it. No
matter what the case is, you’ll likely still have to go through each phase of the grief cycle.

The first thing that you’ll want to do is mourn. Get it out. Do whatever you have to do.
Journal. Cry. Write a letter and burn it. Scream from the top of your lungs. Write a song. Go for a
hike. Do whatever it is you feel drawn to do. Of course, make sure, in all of this, that you don’t hurt

yourself or other people. If you are feeling like you might do that, seek professional help
immediately.

Once you’ve mourned and you’ve gotten it all out, or at least the initial emotional charge,
you’ve surpassed a major hurdle. You’re not totally out of the woods yet, but you’ve made great
progress. Congratulate yourself on that and be kind to yourself.

The next thing you’ll want to do is give yourself time. I’m not sure if time heals all wounds, but
it certainly seems to lessen the brunt of the blow. As time goes on and you get a little temporal
distance between where you are now and that event in the past, you’ll also get some emotional
distance from the event as well. This is good. This distance allows you to heal.

Another thing you may benefit from is space. You’ll likely need space away from the woman

you’ve broken up with. Some guys have found solace in deleting her phone number, blocking her
from Facebook and other social networks, and even deleting pictures taken together. I remember after

one relationship I had ended, I destroyed almost every memento and trinket that we had together – and
it was incredibly therapeutic to do that. In my experience and in many other guys’ experience, having
space is an important factor in healing. If she's constantly in your life you're not likely to be able to
heal and move forward. To this end, if you have any shared activities with her, like civic, social, or

extracurricular groups, I might advise staying away from those for some time, so that you can heal.

With this extra time and space you can really take some time out to appreciate yourself. Go out
and do the things you want to do. Try hobbies you’ve always wanted to do, but put off for whatever
reason, including being in a relationship. Explore what you like. You may not like everything you try,
and that’s okay. Find out what you do like.

Exploring what you like in the aftermath of a breakup is rewarding for multiple reasons. First,
getting back out into the world and taking action, even for recreational purposes, is going to be great
for your emotional health. It’s also going to do great things for your dating life after the break up,

because as you go out and remind yourself that your identity and your lifestyle are both valuable,
you’ll realize that even though the girl you were with was a part of your life in the past, she’s no
longer a part of your life, and your life is still interesting and meaningful. And so you’ll open
yourself up to the possibility of new relationships.

This is going to make you more attractive to women at the very time that you’ll be getting back
on the market. It’s also going to make you less outcome dependent since you have so many other cool
things going on in your life. Furthermore, it’s also going to cut some of the bonds you had of the
lifestyle you had built with that girl, since you’ll be doing new activities instead of the old ones that
are anchors of what you did with her.

There are also certain things that you don’t want to do following a break up. Don't sit at home

moping around. Don’t turn to drugs or alcohol to numb the pain. It doesn’t work and only makes
things worse as you pile onto the pain that you’re already facing. And just remember, if it totally

sucks and it feels awful, it's going to get better. It’s going to get better. I can say that from
experience – even if you may not believe this when you’re in the throes of emotion, it’s going to get
better. You’re going to look back at this and realize that life goes on and ultimately you’re OK. You
really just need to hold out. Don't do anything dumb.

Lastly, once you’ve gone through your mourning phase, you’ve explored your hobbies and
interests, and you’re ready to move past this, there are some cool psychological tools that can really
help lock in the changes you’ve made. Two of my favorite tools for issues like this are hypnosis and
tapping (EFT). These can really help turbo charge you to the next level once you’ve gotten past the
initial shock, denial, and mourning of dealing with the original situation. One of my favorite EFT
practitioners is Brad Yates and you can find an abundance of free tapping videos on his YouTube
channel. And there are a lot of great resources online for hypnosis, including hypnotherapists that do
some really amazing change work. Explore these two tools and see if one of them could be a

powerful option for you.

 Giving Yourself Permission to Take on a New Identity

You’ve got to give yourself permission to take on a new identity as you grow. If you don’t,

you’ll just revert back to your old habits once the excitement of the newfound frames you’ve picked
up from this book wears off.

It’s important that you don’t put stock in other people’s opinions about your ability to socialize
with women at the moment, and instead give yourself permission to take on a new identity. The

permission aspect is super important. You have to give yourself permission to do it. You have to
allow yourself to do it. I'll give you guys an example from my life to illustrate this.

Growing up I was really crappy with girls. I knew I was awful with women, and everyone else
knew I was awful with women.

When I decided to get good with girls, one of the first things I needed to do was give myself
permission to be good with girls. I need to stop self-identifying as being bad with girls. I had to
change that narrative in my mind, reinforced by so many other people, that went, “Oh, this is Josh,
he's bad with girls,” into a different narrative. I had to change that narrative to, “No, this is Josh, he's

good with girls.” I had to consciously change that, and then I had to fight other people trying to put
that frame back onto me, if I was to have any chance at getting good with women.

The first step is giving yourself the permission to take on a new identity and not caring about
what other people think. There's going to be a reaction from people that think they know you, like
friends, coworkers, and family. These people may say things like, “He's acting differently,” or “I
don’t know what’s going on with him, but he’s not himself lately.” Let them think what they think.
Pay no heed to it.

When people start acting differently, whether it’s more confidently or otherwise, in many cases
there is a negative reaction amongst their friends and family, like, “Oh, who does this guy think he is

now? Does he think he's a player?” It happens, and I want you to be prepared for it in case it does.

People are resistant to change. Change makes people uncomfortable. Change makes people
uncomfortable because they like to believe that they have things all figured out, that everything fits

neatly into the categories and boxes they have in their head, and that they can rest assured knowing
what to expect. Change upends all of these notions. And when you change your program, it
sometimes causes discomfort in other people, so they’ll try and hold you back. It’s not that they don’t
want you to succeed, it’s that they don’t want to feel uncomfortable. They don’t want to have their

paradigm of reality invalidated. So they’ll fight to hold you back, they’ll fight to resist recognition of
your progress, in order to keep their internal reality consistent.

Sound crazy? Well, that’s the way it is sometimes. You’re going to have to allow people to
feel as uncomfortable as they need to feel. You have to let them deal with their own feeligns in
however way they need to deal with them. Don’t get involved, don’t placate them, and surely don’t
change your newfound behaviors back to your old ones just to make them more comfortable.

After some time and after seeing your success (and your comfort with your own success), their
narrative will change. It will change to, “Oh wait, he is the player that he’s claiming to be.” And

then you’ll be a player, and that’s that. Humorously, it will actually be the new norm, and most
people will have a hard time imagining you as not being the man that you have evolved to be. Gotta
love human psychology!

But there is likely going to be this period of friction between what other people want you to be
and what you need to be. There is going to be friction between where you want to go and where other
people would prefer you stay. Allow others to feel that friction if they must, but don’t let them hold
you back. And surely don’t identify with the frames that other people will try to push on you. The
worst thing you can do is to just agree with them and go back to being the ineffective loser that you
once were. Just give yourself permission to take on a new identity and stick to it.

Don’t try to fight them on it either. Don’t try to address it directly. Don’t explain yourself to

them. Don’t say that you’re taking a course, or trying something new, and that they should support you
on it. Don’t bother with any of that. Just stay the course. If you engage the bullshit, you’ll just get

dragged down into it. Just do your thing.

Give yourself permission to take on a new identity, and step into that new identity with
confidence and perseverance.
 Part III: All about Ego

“I got a big ego, (hahaha)

I'm such a big ego, (hahaha)

I got a big, (hahaha), ego,

She love my big, (hahaha), ego,

So stroke my big, (hahaha), ego,

I like to joke around a little bit but here we go.”

- Kanye West
 The Egoic Mind

The egoic mind is the part of your brain that tries to create reasons for why your reality is the

way it is. It is constantly going through a rationalization process, trying to either drive decisions or to
create reasons why the decisions that were made were the right decisions.

We need a healthy ego to operate in the world, but sometimes the ego seems to take a mind of
it’s own. The ego becomes harmful when it convinces you that things are the way they are and there's

no malleability in them; when it convinces you that you're entitled or you're not entitled to certain
things; and when it convinces you that you can or cannot take on certain responsibilities. Ego is
responsible for a number of the blind spots that most people have in relation to the behavior they think
they’re taking in the world. While ego can’t be fully eliminated in most waking states of normal
reality, it’s important to know when you’re acting through your ego as opposed to acting through your
thought out intentions.

Throughout your life there is going to be times where you're more identified with your ego and
there are going to be times where you're less identified with your ego. Let’s bring it into terms of

going out and meeting women. When you’re in a flow state, which means that everything is clicking
naturally, your interactions seem effortless, and you’re being highly effective, the ego doesn’t come
into play very much. When you're in the moment, when you're happy, and when you're enjoying
yourself, the ego will usually take a vacation of sorts. You don't really have to think about all the stuff
you own, who you are, the clothes you wear, the friends you have, the way you were raised, etc,
because you're just having fun and you’re being present. Usually, when you're out of state, that's when
you cling to ego.

So it would initially seem that the solution is to just find the things that put you in state and do
them. But that could be harmful, especially if you're relying on alcohol, drugs, comfort foods, or any
other destructive thing to accomplish this end. Even if you could use these things to bring you out of

ego and into a flow state, you’ll just end up chasing them to recover your state when it falls, which

will quickly lead to a cycle of dependence. In addition, trying to be super hyper happy all the time
will lead to burnout as you fry out your emotional circuitry, and you’ll likely give up on this whole

endeavor entirely. It should be clear at this point that none of these options will lead to a healthy
result.

You can't always be happy. But you can always accept the present situation. You can’t always
control what’s going on around you. But you can always try to do the things that you enjoy and avoid

the things you don’t enjoy. And everything might not be going fantastic for you, but you can always try
and have some peace about whatever is going on in your life. Taking these approaches will lessen the
acting through your ego, and encourage you to act more and more through your heartfelt intentions.

Let’s go into further detail about the ego in this section.

 How Ego Manifests in Pickup

Ego manifests in pickup in several common ways. The first is being overly bold. This one

makes sense, given the Revenge of the Nerds-esque common heritage that many aspiring pickup artists
share.

What you're doing when you’re being overly bold is you're putting up a front so that when you
get rejected you'll know that it wasn't really you that got rejected, it was the overly bold approach that

you took on. Being overly bold is not an effective strategy when out meeting women, and it also reeks
of ego.

The first reason that being overly bold is not an effective strategy when out meeting women is
because it's ineffective. The woman you’re talking to can instantly sense that you're not congruent
with what you’re doing, and she'll blow you out because of it. She’ll blow you out because it seems
like you're trying to get something that you don't feel like you're entitled to and it's her job to make
sure that only guys who are worth it end up in bed with her. So she's going to do her job, and you
can’t get mad at her for that. It won’t do you any good if you do anyway. The solution to all of this

mess is to drop the overly bold behavior and just be authentic.

A second way that ego comes into play and screws up approaches is when a guy does what is
called “holding captive audience”. Holding captive audience is when you're just talking and talking
and talking and the people you're interacting with don't have an opportunity to relate and you're not
really relating either, you’re just monologue-ing. This gets confused with plowing a lot in the
community (a technique where you push through resistance by bringing up multiple verbal threads in
an artful way), but it’s different because when you’re holding captivate audience you’re doing it for
your own personal gratification as opposed to any other reason. This gets confused often so let’s
look at the difference between plowing and holding captive audience in detail.
 Plowing is conveying emotion and observation with the understanding that your true self is

going to come through, and while you may not have the implicit permission of the group at this point,

you're going to end up being accepted or getting blown out. Plowing is trying to plow emotional
value – by relating, by sticking in there, by escalating, by doing whatever you can do – to try and

move things forward without being concerned about the initial negative response. You do this
knowing that the initial response can and will change, if you do your job right.

Captive audience is when you're not adding value, but you're trying to take value. You're trying
to get a reaction just for the sake of getting a reaction, so all your words are coming through all

surface level and just fake. If you ever watch reality TV shows, it's like every episode of “Blind
Date”, where the guy is just holding captive audience, for example in the car on the way to the venue
saying things like, "So yeah I have this job and I'm doing this thing, blah blah blah," and in the middle
of it he'll ask the girl, "So how do you think it's going?" (which is the dumbest thing you could ever
ask a girl) and she’ll respond that it’s going awful. Because he’s holding captive audience, he’s got
her there as a hostage, she’s not able to relate, and he’s just spewing forth words for his own personal
gratification. That’s captive audience and it’s really bad. Don’t do it. Not only will the girl not be
attracted to you, but she'll tell all her friends to stay away from you for the rest of the night if you do

that to her.

A third way that the ego negatively affects pickups is being pushy. Being pushy is what you get
when you need a positive response from somebody and you're almost combative about it, treating the
woman as if she's a barrier to penetrating her vagina. When you're pushy, you're not emotionally
relating with the girl and you're not accepting wherever she’s at. You're viewing her as an obstacle to
sex. You're viewing her as withholding sex, which isn't even really valid because she doesn't know
you, so she hasn't made a judgment most of the time about whether she’s interested or not. You're just
assuming, “This girl’s not going to give me sex,” and so you try to pressure her with overly
aggressive behavior, or with sarcasm, or with any other forceful approach, to try and get what you
want. What your ego wants. Which as you might suspect, is not very attractive at all.

A final way that ego negatively affects your approach is being slimy. Being slimy is when

you're viewing the girl as a sexual object in a creepy way, like Golem in The Lord of the Rings, “My
precious...” That’s slimy, and it’s weird and it’s creepy. Slimy is you trying to take something that

you think is yours for whatever reason.

Now slimy can be a grey area. The reason for this is that you’re unlikely to get explicit
permission from a girl every time you want to escalate with her, so how do you know what’s slimy
and what’s not? After all, if you're not being creepy at all it probably means you're not escalating

enough. You’re probably not taking as many chances as you should be, and you’re probably not
testing the limits and your own comfort zone as much as you should be. Because you can’t know
where the line is unless you go pretty damn near it a few times.

Here's how you know if you're just pushing the limits in a given interaction to see how far you
can go, or if you’re being slimy for real. If the girl is pushing you away and she's laughing, or if she's
pulling away from you but she's giggling, you're likely doing a good job. That's token resistance,
she's like, "Oh I feel like such a slut with you, I'm not going to do this haha," and that's fine. In fact
that's good, because it means you’re getting somewhere with her.

But if the girl is like, "Eew, get away," and she's physically withdrawing from you and there's
no laughter and she looks like she's feeling threatened, that's bad. Give her some space, at the very
least. You may have to eject totally because you may have messed that interaction up for good.

Avoid being slimy when you’re out meeting women, which is usually just a creepy way that
you’re trying to gratify yourself and your ego. If you’re focusing on giving authentic value to people
and creating meaningful experiences with women, it’s unlikely that you’ll fall into this trap.

So that's how ego creeps up during practical pickup examples. Some of these behaviors are
impossible to avoid if you’re doing a lot of approaches, especially if you’re new. After all, you’re
trying new things, and you’re not expected to get them right all the time. My advice in this area would

be to keep these precautions in mind and know what the human ego is capable of creating (and

rationalizing). And if you can see yourself doing one or more of these things in the moment with a
woman, see if you can stop and re-approach the situation with a perspective of greater overall

authenticity.
What to Do If You See Negative Aspects of Ego Creeping
Up

What do you do if you see negative aspects of ego creeping up in yourself?

The most important thing you want to do is center yourself. Realize that you are not your mind,
that you are so much more than that, and you don’t have to be swayed by the silly self talk that goes on
in the mind, nor do you need to be swayed by the waves of emotion that may flow across the surface

of your mind.

Overall, it’s not a good idea to get wrapped up in your ego to the point where you can't just do
what you want, where you feel like you have to impress people or where you feel like you have to
prove something to somebody. If you see yourself drifting into that space, go back to having
appreciation for the unique experiences that people provide, try genuinely relating to other people,
and try to embrace a more curious, almost child-like frame about the world.

What do you do if you see negative aspects of ego creep up in others?

The ego is a very primitive creation that is designed for survival purposes, so it's going to fire
at certain points in interactions with others, and that's okay. You want to be aware of the misfires,
when it’s firing for no reason or for a seemingly inaccurate reason, in yourself or others. For
example, if you get into an argument with a woman, you may be able to tell if the main purpose of the
argument is egoic. If it’s not actually about the substance of the argument, but about something trivial,
or if it is about something relating to someone’s self-identification, that seems to hit the personally
and on a deep level, then the true conflict is probably an egoic one and not about the content of the
argument. At this point, you’re not dealing with the idea at hand, you’re dealing with the core of that
person's very being and they feel under attack. Their ego flares up. In the heat of an argument like
this, the ego is not something you want to attack head on. Let the person cool down, and then address
the issue from another angle, an angle which doesn’t threaten the person’s sense of self so much and

doesn’t flare up their egoic response. In this way, you’re more likely to be able to work with the
content, without making things personal and working with the highly reactive nature of the person

who is being momentarily possessed by ego.

If you try to plow right through that egoic response it will just stimulate more ego. You'll never
get through to that person and they won't “hear” what you are saying. This, as you imagine, doesn’t
lend to very effective, or very conscious, communication. This is why it’s so important to either let

the person cool down, or to take a side-door approach which doesn’t attack the person’s sense of ego
head on.

By knowing how to address the egoic response in yourself and the egoic response in others,
you will begin to master the art of communicating throughout different states of consciousness and in
different scenarios. This gets particularly interesting as you venture down some of the more
meandering paths in this game. After all, you don’t know where you’re going to find yourself, and as
you start journeying down this rabbit hole, you might find yourself in situations that become very
interesting indeed. :-)
 Part IV: Self Talk

“My formula for living is quite simple. I get up in the morning and I go to bed at night. In between, I
occupy myself as best I can.”

- Cary Grant
 What is Self Talk?

Self talk refers to the scripts that are constantly running in most people’s heads. Self talk is

what you are saying to you in your head. And these scripts are running in almost every person's heads
unless you’ve put in some serious work into a meditative practice and subsequent enlightenment.

But for the majority of us, as we walk throughout the world, we do have these scripts running
through our heads, saying, “I am like this, the world is like that, blah blah blah,” and they loop back

and forth, incessantly, without end.

These self talk scripts actually create your reality. Like water flowing over plain over and
over again creates a river, your thoughts create the reality that you perceive to be true for you. And
because your self talk scripts create your reality, they affect your perceptions, as you tune into the
ideas that you give great importance to and pay less attention to other elements of your reality. In this
way, the self talk that goes through your head literally shapes your objective experience of the world.

Your reality in any given moment is different depending on what scripts are going through your
head and what you’re tuning into in that moment. For example, when you’re tuning into a script that

says there is abundance in the world for you you act differently than when you tune into a script that
says there is scarcity in the world for you. Your actions are different, your body language is different,
your vibe is different, and your energy is different. It’s a subtle thing, but anyone who’s been around
the block once or twice in this area can pick it up in a heartbeat. Especially women.

Eventually, you’d like to get these scripts to stop. You’d like to pause the incessant melodrama
that goes on about the stage of your mind. This is one of the first defining characteristic of
enlightenment, as I theoretically understand it. For now, we’re going to focus on merely turning the
negative scripts into positive ones, and turning down the volume of the disruptive scripts that are
more stubborn to change. In the next few chapters of this section, we’ll explore how to do just that.
 Utilizing Space to Reframe Self Talk

We’ve seen thus far that there is a tendency for self talk scripts to be going on in our heads a lot

of the time. Some of these are effective for meeting women. For example, a script that is helpful is “I
love myself and I'm great with women.” That's a great script to have running in the background of
your consciousness if you’re out meeting women. Another good script would be one that
characterizes yourself as someone who lives free of judgment. There are a variety of scripts you

might have running through your head that are effective for meeting women, and this becomes a
natural thing for alpha males that are good with women. In fact, this forms that basis for the 7 Beliefs
to Get Success TONIGHT, discussed near the end of this book.

But what if there is a script going on that’s really bad for you? What if there is a script that is
characterized by bitterness and anger toward women? What if you're feeling a little bit of that
misogyny bubbling up, and you’re removing attention from it and starving it, but you still feel like you
need to do more to address it? How do you break out of that?

One method that’s helpful for breaking out of negative self talk scripts involves utilizing

space to reframe self talk. In particular, this approach involves recognizing a self talk script, creating
mental space from it through reframing, and in doing so, de-identifying the script so it stops or
changes its nature entirely.

First you must recognize the self talk script. You have to see that it’s there. You also have to
realize that it’s just a script and it’s not who you truly are. So when I catch a script going through my
head, I’ll recognize it by saying, "I'm doing that weird thing where I'm judging others,” for example.
It's always, “I'm doing that weird thing where X.”

Another example of this might be, “I'm doing that weird thing where I'm judging a woman for
hooking up.” I would do this if I'm getting a little bit of that slut mentality creeping in, where I’m
judging a woman for making her own sexual decisions. You’ve got to catch yourself in the process of

doing this sort of thing if you’re going to stop it.

Creating mental space is key so that you realize it’s just a pattern and you don’t identify with it

as a part of who you are. You need some space because if you say, "Oh I'm judgmental", you can't
work with that. You can't work with that because as soon as you try to crack into that, your ego flairs
up. The ego goes, “Wait a second, you’re attacking me, you’re attacking who I am, you’re attacking
my core beliefs,” and it creates a highly emotional state within you, shutting down the lines of

communication and any hope of rational thought. It closes you off to “protect you”, but in doing so it
doesn’t let you get close enough to do any meaningful work on the issue.

By treating the self talk pattern as something you’re doing (“I'm doing that weird thing where
I'm judging people”), and not as a part of who you are, you create enough space for you to look at it
objectively. And you can easily change something once you’re looking at it objectively and
dispassionately.

It’s a lot easier to change something you’re doing, as opposed to some way you are. This lets
you de-identify with the script so that it stops or that it’s nature is changed entirely. In this way, you

can stop a self talk script and it’s associated behaviors just as easily as you started the script and it’s
behaviors. Utilizing space to reframe self talk is a powerful tactic indeed.
 A Nifty Pattern to Reframe Self Talk

I’d like to share another way of reframing self talk, this time in the form of a nifty pattern. This

pattern is based on several powerful techniques I’ve learned since embarking on the path of self-
development, and also from formally studying psychology.

The first step of this pattern is to write down the statement that asserts the limiting belief that
you would like to change. For example, if you’re not good with women and if that self talk script

commonly runs through your head, you would write down, “I'm a guy who’s not good with women.”

The second step is to ask yourself, “Is this true?” “Is this universally true, all the time, in every
case?” To use our example, you’d ask yourself, “Am I bad with all women? Everywhere? All the
time?"

The third step is to recall evidence that the universal statement is not true. Write down the
evidence that shatters this belief. For example, you might say, “Well, there were a couple of girls that
fell in love with me and I never had a hard time with them,” along with several other examples.
Write each of these down.

You’re now ready for step four. Considering the evidence that your old script is false, adopt a
new script that is indicative of a more effective belief. For example, you might say, “I'm getting
better with women by studying psychology and taking on new behaviors, and I'm having fun with it.”
This script is going to be much more effective to have while you’re out meeting women.

The last step is to act as if the new script is true, even if you don't 100% believe it just yet.
Step into it fully and completely. Act as if it is true, and look for positive reference experiences in
your coming interactions to support it. You’ll soon find yourself having experiences that validate this
new reality for you. This will further entrench your new, effective script, as your old ineffective
script weakens into nonexistence. After some time, you’ll wonder how you ever believed your old

script at all.

This pattern is based on what we do naturally as human beings. We have a script in our head,
and we go around unconsciously looking for reference experiences to support that script because

we’re trying to validate our reality of the world. By replacing the negative script with a positive
script, you’re going to have a totally different experience of reality. By reframing your scripts from
negative ones to empowering ones, you’re going to open the door to making more effective lifestyle
changes.

For me, I write the new script down in present tense. For example, I write, “I am now fantastic
with women and enjoy deeply fulfilling sexual relationships with them.” I write my scripts down in
present tense, as if they’re actually occurring right now. In some cases, I paste them on my wall in
front of my desk at home so I can look at them often.

At one point in my life I was struggling with being accountable. I did this pattern for myself,
and found experiences where I have been accountable and have been a man of my word, which at that
time was about 95% of the time. I wanted to get that number up to 100%, or as close as possible to it,
without judging myself or beating myself up in the process. So I came up with, “I am a man of my

word,” and “I am accountable.” I pasted this on my wall in front of me, and would find myself
reading it frequently both consciously and unconsciously. Now I have no issue with sticking to my
word, and if you’ve met me in real life you know that my word is my bond and I never, ever lie about
anything. If you ask me something I don’t want to answer, I may choose to not answer it, but I’ll never
lie in response. This is a value that is now very important to me, and I have script that supports it.

Some people are more auditory than visual, and these people have found more success in
recording these scripts on a handheld recorder, playing them back before they go to sleep at night and
when they wake up in the morning, than in writing them down. If you’re one of these people, take a
handheld recorder and record your new scripts in all areas of your life – health, wealth, relationships,

and so on. Record the new scripts that you want to be moving towards and listen to them often.

For example, you might say, “I am a man who is extremely dedicated to my career, who wakes
up every morning and loves to go to work, and I add value to my job and find ways to be more

effective all the time.” Record that and play it back often – and you will find that eventually those
things begin to become a part of your identity, and you’ll start to act through those new scripts.

Another impactful thing to do with these new scripts is to tap on them. Tapping, or EFT, is an
energetic technique where you tap on certain parts of the body with your hand while saying beliefs

you want to adopt. I’ve found this to be super effective in making rapid belief system changes. Brad
Yates is one of my favorite EFT practitioners, and you can find a lot of his videos online for free on
his YouTube channel.

This “nifty pattern change to reframe self talk”, along with the pattern changed discussed in
the last chapter, are amongst the most powerful things I’ve done when it comes to dealing with
negative scripts that go on in my head. Sometimes it’s enough to merely cut these thoughts of by
saying, “I’m doing that weird thing where I X,” and I can naturally act through a different filter. But if
the script is a bit more entrenched, if it seems like a way in which I have self-identified, then I pull

out the big guns and start doing things like this “nifty pattern change”, tapping, or hypnosis. These are
amongst the most effective techniques I’ve found for changing deeply rooted belief systems and for
having these changes last over the long term.
 The Power of Positive PRESENT Self Talk

As we conclude this section, I want to discuss the power of positive present self talk, which is

different from many of the affirmations that get thrown around a lot in the self-development
community. The affirmations that are often heard in the self-development community are ubiquitous,
and they’re usually not as effective as we’d like them to be. There are a few reasons for this, but the
biggest one is that the new beliefs that people have taken on aren’t formulated in the present tense.

There is a difference between saying, “I want to get a job where I make a hundred thousand
dollars a year,” and “I now have a job where I make a hundred thousand dollars a year.” The first
statement is easily achievable. In fact, you’ve already achieved it. You want to get a job making
100K a year. Congratulations. You currently want that. Mission accomplished.

By changing it to “I now have a job where I make a hundred thousand dollars a year,” you
frame it as a present state situation. Since this present state is not currently true in today’s objective
reality, your brain begins racing to find ways to make it true, since the brain hates cognitive
dissonance (inharmoniousness between thoughts). By making your self talk present in addition to

positive, you give yourself a huge leg up over those using ordinary “desire-based” affirmations.

One of the most powerful affirmations I heard somebody say was, “I am a man that creates a
loving and kind world through my interactions with people.” Damn, that’s some heavy identification!
He's basically saying, “I create a world where people are experiencing me as loving and kind and the
world is being changed through my actions.” That’s a very powerful intention.

You want to be creating your reality and shaping the world around you. You want to transition
to those "I am" statements. “I create.” “I achieve.” Put these statements in the present tense. This
reinforces that they're happening, and your reality will change to reflect that truth.
 Finally, I’d like to take a moment to talk about the difference between can’t and how. This is

another one of my favorite contrasting examples related to goal setting and achievement. There is a

HUGE difference between saying, “I can’t make a hundred thousand dollars,” and asking “How can I
make a hundred thousand dollars?”

The first statement is a defeatist statement because it gives up before it even gets started.
Because you’ve told yourself that you can’t do it already, your brain gives up on trying to discover the
ways you could accomplish it. If you change this, to instead ask how you could do it, you engage your
brain in thinking of ways in which you can make that reality possible for yourself. It seems like a

subtle difference, but it’s key if you’re trying to adopt new beliefs to get any kind of success in an
area of your life.
 Part V: Female Psychology

“Hell hath no fury like a woman in the throes of ecstasy with her lover.”

- Josh Maverick
 Change Her Mood, Not Her Mind

If you’ve been in the seduction community for any amount of time you’ve likely heard the

maxim, “Change her mood, not her mind.” But what does that mean?

Men are logical creatures. Women tend to be emotional creatures. When men discuss things,
they usually do so for clarification. When women discuss things, they usually do so for exploration.
Men are trying to eliminate competing choices and get a sense of finality on a topic. Women are

trying to explore the feelings in the world that they live in. If you want to be able to effectively
communicate with women, and be able to influence them, you’ve got to change their mood, not their
mind.

Let’s look at a concrete example of this. Let’s say you’re dating a woman and she’s upset at
you for not taking out the trash. You’ve taken out the trash every week this whole year, and now, the
one time you’ve forgotten to take out the trash, she’s blowing up at you because she’s been cooking all
afternoon and the house smells like rotten food instead of the food she’s been preparing for you.

No amount of logic will ease her problem. No recounting of all the times you’ve taken out the

trash in the past will placate her anger. Your track record of always doing it doesn’t matter to her.
The fact that you’re a good guy doesn’t matter to her. You didn’t do it this time, and this time is all
that counts. And she’s mad.

Saying to her, “Honey, I’ve always taken out the trash, it’s not fair that you’re upset this time I
forgot,” is not going to ease her tension. You’ve got to change her mood, not her mind. One way to
do this is to address her emotions. Say, “Honey, I know how much you wanted to make a meal that
made the whole house smell great, and how the trash affected that, and that you’re upset. I’m sorry
about that.”
 Another way is to talk about your feelings for her. Saying “Aww baby, I love you,” while you

wrap your arms around her in a reassuring way will dissolve this tension as well. Or even the

simple, “I understand,” will do. But battling her on the logic of the issue will not get you very far,
and is likely only to make the confrontation worse.

A third way is to change her physiology. Give her a smile, grab her hand, and give her a twirl.
Giggle with her as you change her physiology, change her mood, and change her mind. Women love
aloof goofiness, and if the situation is appropriate to this sort of reaction, then changing her
physiology can be a great option. I would not take this route if she’s upset over something of grave

importance, or about something that has been going on for a long time between the two of you, but for
something light or something one off, changing her physiology can be very effective.

Change her mood, and the rest will follow. She’ll even seem to “forget” about what happened
before, the second you change her emotional state. You’ll see her physiology change. She’ll ease her
shoulders, the tension in her body will dissipate, and her face will light up. It will be like you’re
dealing with a completely different woman.

Notice above that I didn’t say to placate to a woman. You are not to pander to her, or let her
walk over you, or become weak. If that’s what you got from above, then please read again, because

you are sorely mistaken. The point here is that by addressing her concerns are primarily emotional in
nature, rather than logical in nature, you’ll best be able to relate to her and influence her to move into
a more constructive state for all involved. She’ll feel heard and understood, and you’ll have a lovely
woman on your hands (instead of a monstrous one). The choice is up to you.

Change her mood, not her mind.

 Women Live in the Emotion of the Moment, and
Backwards Rationalize the Experience

I want to share a lesson about female psychology that is very pertinent to understanding how
women make decisions on what they do and what they don't do. The lesson here is that women live in
the emotion of the moment, and they backwards rationalize the experience. Women live in the
emotion of the moment, and only after it happens do they rationalize what happened.

Let’s look at an example of this, one that actually tripped me up in the moment that it happened,
some years ago. I was making plans with a woman to go watch a movie with her. We were both
super excited about doing it. We were excitedly talking about it, envisioning, “We're going to go see
this movie, and it’s going to be so good, and we’re going to have such a great time!"

About a half hour before we had to leave to go the theater, I was ready to go, and said, “Okay
let's go.” But the energy had changed, and the excitement wasn’t there anymore. The energy was low
and talk of being tired came up. The sentiment was clearly, “Oh, I don't want to do it anymore.”

This confused the hell out of me. “What?” I said. “It's the same exact thing we agreed to

before!” To a man, a decision has already been made, and it’s all a very logical process. If I decide I
want to do something, I'm going to do it. It has very little to do with my emotional state. If I decide to
do something it’s going to get done.

But for a woman, you can ask her the same question and get two separate answers within a 5
minute period if her emotional state changes within that time. It’s unexpected, surprising, and
illogical at first, especially if you’ve never experienced that phenomena before. But when you know
female psychology, you come to expect it, or even accept it, and you know that it’s just the nature of
beast. You learn to work with it, not against it, changing her mood and not her mind, knowing that
being able to understand and work with her emotional state is key in any situation with a woman.

I soon learned from that experience and grew, knowing what to do in the future. At a later point

in time, I was with my girlfriend at that time, and wanted to go out to get a bite to eat. Her sentiment
was, “No let's just stay home and get something here.” But I wanted to try a new sit down restaurant,

so I futilely replied, “No, I really want to go to this restaurant, I've been craving it.” But then I
thought to myself, “Wait, I know what to do.” So I started joking around with her, teasing her, and
tickling her a little bit. I grabbed her hand and gave her a spin, twirling her around. And then I was
like, “Okay let's go!” and I grabbed her and she said, with feminine enthusiasm, “Okay!” and just

totally went with it. And that, my friend, is how women work.

This is how women behave. This is how women do things. Women live in the emotion of the
moment, and backwards rationalize the experience later. Later, she’ll think back on this, and “find the
reasons” for why she did what she did in that moment. But a person who knows female psychology
knows better. They know that any reason that she comes up with later is likely invented, in order to
justify what it is she has done in a given emotional state. This is the nature of the feminine.

Now that you know that women live in the emotion of the moment, and only afterward do they
rationalize the experience, you can use this to great advantage. If you’re ever talking to a woman and

you need to move things from point A to point B, you can leverage her emotional state in your favor.
It's very easy and very effective. Whenever you want to get compliance from a woman, attempt to get
compliance on an emotional high point, and it’s likely that you’ll get it. Attempt to get compliance on
an emotional low point, or lull, and it’s likely that you won’t get it. This might be strange for a guy to
get, but it’s true, and understanding and utilizing the benefits of female psychology will aid you
greatly when interacting with women.
 She Will Test You

Women will test you. It’s what they do. Your job is to recognize the test and pass it. Do not

react to it. Do not judge it. Do not wish the situation was different than what it is. Just recognize the
test and pass it.

A test will usually occur when she’s attracted to you. This seems counter-intuitive, doesn’t
it? It may not make sense at first, but allow me to explain.

When a woman is attracted to you, it seems her whole world is turned upside down. And if
you’re trained, you can see it. She’ll start looking at your differently, her eyes will get wider, he face
will get flushed with blood, she’ll start playing with her hair, and she’ll give you many other non-
verbal (and sometimes verbal) cues. You can easily catch this – but so can she.

Now she might not consciously say, “Wow, I can feel myself getting really attracted to him
and I notice myself acting differently,” but subconsciously, there seems to be some sort of mechanism
that kicks in, saying, “Wait a minute – I am getting attracted to this man and I want to make sure this is
a good idea… I know what I can do… I can test him by saying something he wouldn’t expect or by

doing something he wouldn’t expect and see how he reacts… If he continues to be cool, then this is
probably the real him and I can relax knowing he is as attractive as I think he is. But if he loses his
cool, I’ll know this is all an act and I got all hot and bothered over nothing, just a façade of smoke and
mirrors.”

And then she’ll say or do something that you totally didn’t expect.

For the sake of completeness, it’s also worth noting that a test might also occur if you’ve
messed up, if she’s unsure about you (which can be “positive” or “negative”), or if she needs
clarification about the kind of guy you are.
 Whatever the reason a woman creates a test, don’t fall for it! Don’t get all emotionally

reactive. Don’t begin arguing with her. And don’t let the vibe drop and become all serious or

butthurt or whatever. If you do that, all of the attraction you have generated will evaporate like a
raindrop on a sunny day.

Keep your cool. Keep a level head. You want to make sure you’re not being reactive to her
little test. You also want to make sure you’re not qualifying yourself to her. You don’t have to
explain yourself to anyone – and that includes her. She may try and get you to do this so she can try
and get a bit of control over you. Again, this is usually subconscious, with the idea being that if she

can wrangle a bit of control from you, then you’re not that much of an alpha male after all.

Handle her tests with grace and confidence. Stay centered and maintain a level head. Don’t let
her test phase you. Avoid being reactive, avoid getting upset, and avoid falling into whatever frame
she’s trying to push on you at the moment. Avoid explaining away your behavior to her. Maintain
your high value, congruent presence and you’ll have no problem navigating the tests that a woman
brings up. Realize that they are natural and normal, and they’re par for the course. And in many
cases, recognize that they’re a good thing. You’re changing her state, which is key for any seductive
process.
Part VI: Things to Remember

“I remember the first time I had sex – I kept the receipt.”

- Groucho Marx
 YOU Can Get Whatever You Want

YOU can get whatever you want. Yes, you. It’s true.

Something I’ve seen with guys I’ve coached is that there are some guys that think that there's not
a woman out there that will respond to what they want. I've met guys who wanted to have an open
relationship and they're like, "Yeah dude, I don't know, I don't think I'm going to meet a girl who's able
to or willing to have an open relationship."

My question to them is always, "Well, how long do you plan on looking?"

The problem is they want it to happen now. They need it to happen now. They’re needy.

The more you're identified with neediness, the more you can pretty much guarantee that it's not
going to happen now.

But understand that somewhere out there, there is going to be a woman that is receptive to what
you want. There is going to be a woman that wants what you want, whatever that might be.

There are numerous examples in the community of guys who are only attracted to a certain type

of a girl and only date that type of girl. My wing John Prime told me once about a friend of his that
only dates girls that are bisexual because he only wants to have threesomes, and his first question
when he walks up to a girl is, “Hey I only date bisexual women, what type of women are you
interested in?” And a lot of the time he's saying this to straight girls, but you know what? By the end
of the week he's going to find a girl who is bisexual and who is looking for an open relationship with
two females and a man, and he does it all the time. He's probably been with three hundred women in
threesomes, which is ridiculous, especially when you see him because he's just a goofy bastard. But
that's just his thing, that's what he's into. That's what he likes and he comes from the frame of, “If you
don't like it, that's cool, but I'm just letting you know if you want to get with me that's how it's going to
go down.”

There is something that is very attractive about that, no matter what the needed quality may be.

There is something that takes a lot of pressure off of a woman in understanding what it is that you
want and what it is that she’s signing up for. Because you’re not looking for validation from her, or

approval from her, or for some way for her to let you know that you're okay. Instead, you're saying,
“This is what I want. This is what I'm moving towards in my life and I think you're interesting and I
want to see if we can experience this together.”

Even if you don't get the answer that you want, she'll appreciate the honesty. And sooner or

later, you will find what you’re looking for. Because for every thing out there, there is a woman that
is into that. Whenever you’re feeling like there is scarcity in the world for whatever it is you’re
trying to find, remember that YOU can get whatever you want, and that in reality there are plenty of
women out there that are enthusiastic about what it is you’re looking for. You just have to look, keep
an open mind, and be patient. YOU can get whatever you want.
 A Rich Man Doesn't Have to Tell You He's Rich

A rich man doesn't have to tell you he's rich. It's something that you feel – it’s something that

you just know. His value just shines through. His sense of wealth, no matter what kind of wealth it
may be, shines through readily when he interacts with people.

Does a needy guy need to come up to you and say, “Hey, just so you know, I’m really needy”?
Does he have to say, “I have a lot of needs that are unfulfilled”? No, he does not need to say this.

Because when you communicate with him, you’re like, “Wow, this guy really needs my attention, he's
trying really hard.” It’s something you pick up on. He doesn’t have to tell you.

In the same way, a rich man doesn’t have to tell you he’s rich. A man who has wealth, no
matter in what category of life, does not have to flaunt that wealth. He doesn’t have to impress, and
doesn’t try to. He is humble and has humility, and yet he still recognizes the wealth that he has
accumulated in a given area and the fact that it is there.

How can we apply this lesson to our own lives? Instead of trying to manipulate a response
from other people to make them feel a certain way, be that person you want to be, and they're going to

feel it. Transform yourself into that person, and they're going to see that shining through. You won’t
have to tell them. They’ll just know. And always be humble and embrace humility, even as you step
into your power.
 You Are Not Here to Fix Anyone Else’s Problems

Unless you’re Jesus Christ or Neo from The Matrix, you are not here to fix anyone else’s

problems.

If someone else has a problem, it is their problem. It is not your problem to solve. It is not
your emotional charge to carry.

Girls tend to flip out when there is something going on in their life. And they’re going to share

it with you. What you want to do is empathize with her. Empathize with her, relate with her, and be
there for her. Be the rock that can keep her grounded. Be a man for her. But don't grab the reigns and
try to solve her problems. You are not her Mr. Fix It Man. It is not your responsibility to do the work
for her.

When a girl tells you her problems, she’s looking for your understanding. She’s looking for
your support. She is not looking for your action.

For men this is usually pretty hard. When problems come up, we want to solve them. That’s

what we do. We’re problem solvers. For women, bringing up problems is different.

For women, bringing up a problem is an emotional experience. It’s an opportunity to connect.

It’s an opportunity for empathy and understanding. The best thing you can say when a girl tells you,
“Oh my god this happened and I feel this way,” is, “I understand”. And really feel that way.
Empathize with her and understand what she’s going through, so she can experience the sensation of
relating with you.

The essence of your response should be, “I understand and I'm here for you.” It should not be,
“I'm going to hop into your life now, fix everything, and then hop back out again.” Trying to fix her
problem for her will only lead to a few things. First, it will lead to her not feeling understood,
because you’ve approached her problem with a list of solutions instead of connecting to her. Second,
it will likely lead to you resenting her, embodied by the notion, “I just fixed your problem, why are

you still upset?” And third, it will lead to an overall break in rapport in the relationship since you
just missed the boat and a clear opportunity to be there for her and connect with her.

Let’s illustrate this with an example. Say you're dating a girl, or maybe you're just friends with
her and you're interested in dating her, and she says, “You know, my car is having a problem and I
need to get it fixed.” There are a few different responses guys will give.

You have the nice guy that will say, “Oh well I'll fix it for you,” or, “I'll take it to the

mechanic.” This guy is going to shell out a couple hundred bucks and is probably going to think that
he’s owed something in return for this act. While the girl may appreciate the car being fixed, she
won’t feel heard and won’t be attracted to this man. And there is likely to be resentment harbored
from both sides. From the woman’s side because she wasn’t being heard and supported, and from the
nice guys side because he’s not going to get the thing he feels he’s “owed” now.

On the other end of the spectrum, you have the jerk that says, “I don't want to hear about your
problem.” He’ll shut her off and put her down, telling her he doesn’t “have time for this shit” and to
“figure out your own problems”. “I have enough crap going on in my life already,” he’ll say, coldly.

You don’t want to be either of these guys. You want to find the middle ground where you’re
empathetic and you’re there for her, but you don’t take on her problem directly. Remember, after all,
that it’s ultimately her problem to solve.

You also want to do what you feel is within your personal boundaries. If you feel like helping
her because it's going to make things easier, or because you know you genuinely want to do that, then
you can help her if you so choose. Do it from the heart, with no expectations involved. You could
also play it more relaxed, saying, “Wow, you know, that's really rough,” and empathize with her and
be there for her. A middle ground between these two options might be, “Well, why don't we look for
a mechanic and if you need transportation in the meantime and I can help you, I can drive you
around.”

The point I want to emphasize here is that you don’t want to be Mr. Fix It with these issues
when they come up. You should not be Mr. Fix it. Most of the time when girls are unloading on you

emotionally they don’t actually want you to fix anything. In fact, they'll often get pissed off at you if
you try because all they really wanted to do was emotionally relate. And now you’re getting all into
Mr. Fix It mode on them. So understand what their situation is like, try to have empathy for what
they’re going through, and assure them, like everything else in life, that, “Everything is going to be

okay.” Don’t take on other people’s problems, but be empathetic.

 Part VI: All About State

“All our final decisions are made in a state of mind that is not going to last.”

- Marcel Proust
 State Explained

Let’s talk about state. What is state?

Your emotional state refers to how you're feeling in the moment, and it can have a subtle or not
so subtle effect on your ability to be attractive and to allow yourself to take on attractive behaviors.

State is another often misunderstood concept in the community, because a lot of guys are
convinced that you have to run high energy game in order to be effective. State is often attributed to

clapping your hands, jumping up and down, dancing in place, etc, and while you can use it in that
way, you’re likely to burn yourself out doing so. That level of energy is difficult to maintain over the
long term, and it’s not even necessary (or necessarily effective).

You don’t need to be super high energy in order to pick up women. Personally, I have a very
laidback, direct style. You don't see me a lot of times jumping around and screaming like a teenage
girl. I'll do it sometimes, if I'm really having that much fun, like if I’m out seeing my favorite band or
celebrating a special event. But if I'm out on a chill night during the weekday, the reality is that I’m
probably not going to be having the time of my life and audibly yelling and jumping up and down

about some nonsense. And you don’t need to do that to pick up women.

For me, state is that little feeling inside that lets me know not only am I OK and happy, but that
other people around me are going to have a better experience for having been around me. When I’m
in state, I feel like I am better able to relate to people and make them have a better night than they
would have otherwise. And that experience, that internal experience, is what's going to allow me to
approach much more authentically and effectively.

Getting to a chill, positive state is very simple. It's actually much easier than getting into the
other state of the fun, loud, crazy, obnoxious party guy. You can get into that state if you want to. If
you clap your hands right when you walk into a venue and start jumping around and changing your

physiology you'll get into that state and it can be fun. Some women are highly attracted to that. For

them, it hits a blueprint of the kind of guy they’re attracted to.

For me, the type of girl I'm attracted to usually doesn’t respond to that as much. My game, and

the essence of who I am, is much more chill. To use an example my wing John Prime taught me, my
state is like a small, hot coal. It's like an extremely hot coal, whereas those guys are like a roaring
fire, like if you were to put someone next to it they would exclaim, “Fuck that's a really hot fire!”
That's what it's like to be around those guys, their emotional energy is coming out every which way

because they're dancing around, laughing, high-fiving, yelling. You can do that stuff and if you like to
do that stuff, then do it in order to get yourself into that state. But if your preferences are more like
mine, where you want to have that nice happy feeling and you want people to know just by looking at
you that, “That guy is a cool motherfucker,” you can step into that state as well. You don't have to
have it one way or the other way. You can harness whichever state is most appealing to you at the
moment.
 How to Get Into State

How do you get into state? The main way to get in state is to focus on either (A) curiosity, (B)

appreciation, or (C) gratitude, and then just going and expressing yourself. Talk to people, move your
body, mingle about the venue. Get the ball rolling.

Whatever way you choose to get into state is going to be much more effective than just standing
there thinking about how you're not in state. I've seen this on weekend workshops many times where

I'll have a student who'll look at me and go, "I'm out of state," and then when I tell him to approach a
group of girls he'll say, “I'm out of state,” as if that's an excuse not to approach. How are you going to
hit state if you just stand there and do nothing?

If you don’t take action you'll be out of state the entire night. And the ridiculous thing about that
is that you’ll actually believe you have a valid reason not to talk to women that night “because you're
out of state”. The longer you go that night without changing that pattern, the harder it gets to break out
of it.

If you're out of state, try and step into either curiosity, appreciation, or gratitude. Try and be

curious about the people that you are going to meet. Or try to appreciate the fact that you’re alive, that
you’re living in a free land, enjoying a night out on the town, miraculously breathing oxygen, enjoying
the gift of life, and surrounded by other people who are enjoying that same gift alongside you. Or try
to step into gratitude for anything, such as having a set of skills you can actually work on to grow in
this area of your life, or just being grateful that there are so many beautiful women around you (even if
you aren’t talking to them yet).

Then go do some approaches and see if you hit state. If you do, that’s great. If you don’t – big
fucking deal. You had a bad night at worst, and you probably met some interesting people, and no
matter what happens, you’re going to learn something about yourself, about other people, or about the
nature of social interactions.

Some of my best nights out have been nights that started off from a pretty unresourceful place –
either because I was tired, or had a bad day, or had some drama in my life – but it’s like going to the

gym, you just do it anyway. I go out because I made a commitment that I'm going to go out three nights
a week and I'm going to have five interactions with people I haven’t yet met, and I’m going to do that
regardless of what happens.

And that’s what you do. Just like if you’ve committed to going to the gym you go there whether

you feel like it or not – because it’s going to get you results. If you do it once, you're not going to get
much of a result. You don’t build a muscle that way. You build a muscle by effortful repetition. The
same thing applies here. If you go to the club and you do five approaches for three weeks and then
just stop because it gets frustrating, guess what? You're not going to get good game. But if you go out
for a year and you’re doing five or ten approaches a night three times a week, you’re going to get
good. That’s just the way building a skill works.

State is so easy to hit if you allow it to be. When you get into the club, the biggest thing you’ll
notice about the difference between how you feel in regards to whether you’re in state or not, is if

you’re looking around and you’re judging people, or feeling judged, or worrying about what is going
on around you. Then you’ll know that you’re not in state. If you’re looking at a guy at the end of the
bar, and saying to yourself, “Okay this guy looks like he might be a douche bag,” then you’re out of
state. I can tell you with 100% certainly that if that’s going on, you’re out of state.

Rather than sitting there and thinking about it and how shitty it is, just go, “Fuck it, I'm
embracing that I'm out of state, but I'm just going to get in state.” Step into either curiosity, or
appreciation, or gratitude, and then go talk to some people. Start moving around and start interacting
with people, and you’ll eventually find that you’re okay and you’ll drop all of these judgments.
Rather than build an ego structure that is going to reinforce being out of state, take action. Because

otherwise, you’re going to be like, “Oh, you know what, this club isn’t that good anyway. That guy? I

don't want to talk to that guy. He’s a douchebag.” And that will be your ego protecting itself, in the
wonderful way that it knows how, and it will keep you out of state. And that will ensure that you have

a shitty night.

In the off chance that some girl magically falls into your lap, you might have success, but it’s
pretty unlikely given the fact that you’re not approaching anyone, giving off a terrible vibe, and
judging everybody from your little ivory tower. Instead of doing these things, it’s much more

productive to focus on getting yourself into state. Step into curiosity, appreciation, or gratitude, move
your body, and talk to some people. And enjoy your night as you bring value to the people that you
meet.
 How to Change Your State with Your Physiology

Let’s talk about ways to change your state with your physiology. This means changing your

state by changing your body positioning. It can be as easy as standing a different way, jumping up and
down, or clapping your hands. This can be good for changing your state in the moment – though
repeated often enough, this will become habit and start to lock in more and more. For example,
positioning your body upright will invoke an air of confidence and assertiveness. Do so over the long

term, and you’ll begin to notice that this becomes your default posture.

Let’s go over some of my favorite ways to change state with physiology. The first is smiling.
Smiling is huge. Recent psychological research has shown major benefits of smiling, from increased
mood, to more harmonious thought patterns, to better physical health (lower blood pressure and
healthier heart function). It doesn’t take much effort to hold a smile and for meeting women in
particular, it completely changes your pre-approach. This is because as you’re going up to a woman
whom you do not know, she doesn’t know your intentions. She doesn’t know if you’re going to ask
her for directions, hit on her, or murder her like a serial killer. If you’re not smiling, she has no social

feedback to know your true intentions. If you are smiling, she can deduce that you’re up to good
things, or that at least your intentions are pure. If you can't manage a smile, just widen your gaze a
little bit and try to have appreciative open eye contact. This will put her at great ease as you begin a
conversation with her. It will also change your state to one of relaxation and appreciation, a state that
is great for making connections with new people.

You can also utilize body language to change your state. When you go out to a bar or club,
you’ll likely notice guys seemingly “standing at attention”, with their arms crossed, feet close
together, and a serious expression on their face. Or you’ll see them holding their drink in front of
their chest, which is a defensive maneuver that protects the heart from a perceived threat and creates
a barrier to connection (for “safety reasons”) between them and the rest of the people in the venue.

These postures are ineffective, convey low social value, and moreover, put you into a negative,

closed off state by their very nature.

What’s the alternative posture that shows high social value, puts you into a positive state, and is

more effective overall? This body language might be described as a more relaxed but still alert
stance, with one leg slightly off angle with the foot pointed outward, and the other leg straight. You
may take the straight leg and move it a step back, putting some of your weight on it as you relax into
it. Your arms would be at your side, holding a drink down at your side, the way you would hold it in

your own house when moving about from room to room. Your shoulders would be nice and relaxed,
you would be holding your head level, and you would be just making friendly eye contact with anyone
whose gaze you came across. This posture is confident, open, and relaxed.

When you move about the venue, don’t scurry around like a little rat. Fast, nervous movements
like these imply that you are not comfortable with the space your body is taking up and that you’re
trying to minimize the space you have to command. This makes you look nervous, unsure of yourself,
and weak, and is not attractive. Your social interactions are going to be awkward and stilted if you
begin conversations with people whom you do not know from the frame that you are taking something

from them, undeserving of their time, or even undeserving of the very space that you’re standing in.

Another mistake that guys make when moving about the venue is moving with more presence,
but still moving very fast. These guys look aggressive, like a predator, or overly tough, like a
professional wrestler shambling into the ring. The states that are borne from these physiological
stances are very ineffective for coming off as approachable and for beginning comfortable social
interactions.

The ideal way to move through a venue is in a manner that takes up the space that you require to
move about it, while moving with presence, comfort, and ease. Just walking around like there's
nothing to be worried about. Being relaxed and taking in your surroundings. Being open,

appreciative, and happy.

As we conclude this section, it’s worth noting that the other way you can get in state with your
physiology is simply by being crazy. On nights where you can manage it, it's a good social

experiment. If you walk into a room and you're like, “Yeah! What's up dude! How are you doing!”
you're going to hit state immediately because you're changing your physiology intensely. You're
projecting your voice outward in a huge way, moving your body, and changing the rate at which you
breathe. It’s intense. This would be more effective in a high energy club than in a chill low key

lounge. If you do it in a lounge, you’re going to get a ton of attention, but not all of it will be good.
So you have to choose your approach based on the venue, it’s energy level, and the relative energy
level of where you’re at personally. But projecting yourself in a big way can be effective in some
environments, and can lead to some very interesting states.

One last note – whatever you do, don’t play with your phone. Everybody knows no one is
calling you, you’ll look like a loser, and most importantly, it will suck state from you like a vampire.
Put the phone away and start talking to some people.
 Being Resilient Through Changes In State

Let’s talk about state and resilience. Because sometimes you don’t hit state right away all the

time, and you might be concerned about what’s going on. I’ve been there before so I want to relate
some stories to you.

I work on the computer a lot creating products, writing articles, and writing books. Let's say
I'm at my home on my computer all day typing stuff up, just me and my computer, not talking to

anybody, and then I jump in my car and drive over to the club. I can’t always expect to just flip into a
talkative, sociable state right away. In situations like this there is often some buffer period.

To overcome the resistance inherent in this buffer period we use “warm up sets”. A warm up
set merely refers to a social interaction that has no particular outcome – you’re not trying to get a girls
number or anything, you’re just being social for the sake of warming up your social muscles with no
other tangible outcome. It takes most guys around three warm up sets of about fifteen minutes total of
just moving their mouth, talking to new people, and making conversation to lock in a new state for that
evening, which in most cases stays “locked in” for the rest of the night.

Allowing yourself to go through these warm up sets may test your ability to be outcome
independent and not judge yourself. For me, as I go into these warmup sets, I’m just allowing myself
to say whatever comes to the top of my mind. I might just be social, asking people how they’re doing
and how their night is going. These three sets are to get my mouth moving, get my blood flowing, and
get me moving about the venue, so that I’ll get into a sociable state. It’s a fairly easy thing to do and
this approach works really well.

As you get decent at striking up conversations with new people, you can expect your
interactions to last somewhere between three to five minutes per set. This is just an average of
course, with many interactions that go longer, and some that go shorter. We say “three to five
minutes”, because once you open successfully you can usually keep the whole group around for three

to five minutes before they wander off and grab drinks or whatever, and after about fifteen minutes of
this you're going to hit state. So the number three isn’t a magic number, it’s just an average. You may

need to do more or less warm up sets to hit a nice state. And there is no hurry. It’s okay to take two
hours if you need to – as long as you’re taking action and talking to people. Give yourself permission
to take as long as you need to, without judging yourself. It may be hard to avoid judging yourself (or
feeling judged) in that moment, but if you start feeling that way, just bring yourself back to curiosity,

appreciation, or gratitude, and continue interacting with people.

The funny thing about state is that your mind connects all the reference experiences you have
with a particular state. Your memories will only be triggered when you're in an emotional state that is
similar to the emotional state you were in when you had the original experience.

So when you're out of state, you’re like, “Fuck, I'm a loser, I don't know why I even come out
here because I'm bad at everything.” You start thinking about everything you ever sucked at. This is
called “the million reasons why you suck”. That's where your mind is at when you're out of state. But
when you're in state, you're like, "What the fuck was I worried about? I am awesome!"

And it is awesome. You can do anything because you believe you can do anything, and
everyone else believes it too. And you give yourself permission to do those things. And then people
see you being awesome and owning being awesome, and they’re like, “That guy's fucking awesome,”
further confirming that state and creating a virtuous circle.

Realize that you are not a different person between when you’re thinking about the million
reasons why you suck and when you’re being fucking awesome. It's just a mental difference where
you allow access to one set of memories and reference experiences over the other.

You’re going to hit that state. So stay resilient and keep going.
 My wing John Prime used to teach the following analogy. Suppose you’re leaving a shitty town

in West Texas to go to Vegas. Suppose you’re driving there. That’s a pretty long drive, right?

Depending on the road conditions, how tired you are, and how many cops are around you could
probably go a hundred and twenty miles per hour or you might have to go sixty miles per hour. But

either way, if you just stay on that road you're going to be in Vegas. So if your shittiest state is west
Texas, and your cool state is Vegas, if you want to get to Vegas then you’ve got to get in the fucking
car and drive. And eventually, if you get in the car and drive, you'll be in Vegas.

I’ll share my own experience with state. I was at a small shitty bar in Atlanta when I got the

best advice I ever got from a natural. It was a Sunday night and I was out with a long time wing. We
were at this bar and it was not full at all – there were maybe three sets in the whole place. So I roll
up and approach a group of three girls, and I'm getting good compliance, and these girls were out for
a birthday, having fun and being fun with me, so it’s all good.

My wing comes in and it continues to be good. But at some point one of us makes a comment
that is a little bit crazy, a strong verbal escalation, because we are experimenting with that sort of
thing and pushing our game. And we lose the set, and that sucks. So I'm was like, “Damn, that sucks.
Whatever.”

I'm walking away from this blown set and there's this natural that's standing up against the wall
and he's looking at me, and grinning, so I grin back at him. And he’s giving me a look like, “I just saw
you get blown out.” It’s a friendly smile, like, “We're on the same page here. I’ve been there
before.” And before I could think of a wise crack to say, he said to me, “You know what? Sometimes
you just gotta’ keep swingin’ the bat.” And that's the best advice I ever got from a natural. Sometimes
you just gotta’ keep swingin’ the bat.

Keep swinging the bat and eventually you’ll get there.

 Part VII: The Secret Traits of an Alpha Male

“A moral being is one who is capable of reflecting on his past actions and their motives – of
approving of some and disapproving of others.”

– Charles Darwin
 Lead and Take Responsibility

A real man is a leader. A real man sets the precedent. A real man sets the pace of the

relationship, and he ultimately not only gets the advantages that come with being a leader, but also
gets the responsibilities that come with being a leader as well.

If a woman is attracted to you she wants to be led by you in a very dominant, natural way. She
wants to be able to submit to the intensity of your masculine energy. The feminine side of her yearns

for this. But she can only submit to masculine energy that she trusts and believes in – so be that man
that she trusts and believes in. Be that man that she knows deep down in her heart won’t hurt her,
that’s going to take her places and those places are ones she wants to go and you’ll keep her safe as
you lead her there. And then it's your job to fucking lead her there. Be dominant and be a leader.

If you mess up along the way, accept responsibility and correct course. The responsibility to
be on the right course, and to correct course if necessary, naturally comes with being a leader. You
must lead and you must take full responsibility for the outcome, either good or bad.

Being a leader and leading interactions has generated more happiness and fulfillment in me than

I can possibly account for. It's also created situations where I was held accountable for coming short,
which sucked because I knew I made the wrong choice and I had messed up. But when I messed up I
took control and I led it back to a place where it was okay for everyone. And that’s what being a man
is about. Being a man is about being able to lead, being able to make mistakes, and being able to
correct course and carry on when you make those mistakes.

Leading and taking responsibility is a trait of the alpha male.

 Go First

An alpha male is comfortable going first. Whether it’s going first down a set of stairs into a

dark basement at night, or going first in creating a vibe of comfort to get a woman to open up, a man
must be able to go first if he is to be true to his masculine nature, lead his woman, and serve the
world.

If you want to have a woman experience a certain emotional state, you have to go there first.

Want her to be playful with you? Go into the state of being playful first. Want her to get all hot and
bothered for you? Go into that sexualized state first. Lower the pitch and volume of your voice,
reduce the cadence of your speech, and talk with a deep, resonant, dirty growl (you’re bedroom
talking voice), and you’ll elicit this state in your woman. Get yourself into that state first and then
lead her to it. If you go first as a man, and you have a good amount of attraction and connection with
her, she’ll follow you.

Going first allows her to further trust your masculine direction as you demonstrate your
comfort in navigating the unknown with strength. Going first allows you to set a precedent where

people are happy to follow your leadership. Going first is courageous and will cement your position
as the alpha male.

Going first is a trait of the alpha male.

 Assume Attraction

Assuming attraction simply means acting as if you already have the implicit permission of the

girl or the group to take on high value behaviors and move things forward. This is incredibly
powerful for a couple of reasons.

One reason why assuming attraction is powerful is that by initially “tricking” your mind into
understanding that you have the implicit acceptance of the group, you end up giving yourself

permission to take on the behaviors that are congruent with a high value identity, and in doing so,
actually create attraction.

A second reason why assuming attraction is powerful is related to the psychological effect it
has on people. When you act is if people are attracted to you and find you to be high value, you
create positive social pressure for those people to react well to you. And because people normally
act in the way that they think you'd expect them to, they’re going to start to find the reasons that
“justify” why you’re high value. So they start doing the work of attraction for you. The ultimate
question a girl will ask herself when this happens is, “Who is this guy?!?”, often in an exasperated

and awestruck kind of way, characteristic of a specific kind of attraction.

Let’s use an example to illustrate this. If you walk up to a group of girls and you've got your
head down and you're looking at the ground and they're dancing and all high energy and you walk up
and say, “Hey,” with really low energy, what do you think is going to happen? Probably nothing,
right? They're not even going to hear you most likely, but if they do give you a reaction it's probably
going to be dismissive, then back to dancing.

Now, if you go in and you say, with enthusiastic high energy, "Hey how is everybody doing!" or
you go "Hey, it looks like you guys are having a party!" and you throw your arm around a couple of
girls, they're going to be like "Yeah, we're having a party! Woohoo! Who's this guy who came to add
more fun to our little party?" and most of the time that’s how they’ll react. Now there are variations,

and you can't tell exactly how someone is going to react, but if you’re genuine in your approach and
you’re congruent, this is likely the response you’ll get. One of the girls might be like, "I have a

boyfriend, don't touch me!" but it's more likely they're going to react positively than negatively if
you're going in expecting them to act positively, and if you're conducting yourself as if you already
have the permission to join the group and move forward from attraction.

Guys who are “naturally” attractive with women know this secret very well. The natural’s

entire game is pretty much just assuming attraction and escalating. This is not to imply that the
natural’s game is the benchmark for good game, because it isn’t, but the fact that they can consistently
get women without knowing anything about dating science should tell you something. And one of the
things it should tell you is that assuming attraction is an incredibly effective thing to do when out
meeting women.

Assuming attraction is a trait of the alpha male.

 Be Non-Reactive

Being non-reactive is a great value to have and it’s a key trait of the alpha male. Being

nonreactive is somewhat related to the idea of outcome independence discussed at the outset of this
book. It’s also very much an indicator of your own perceived self-worth. Because if you believe
genuinely deep down inside that you're a good guy and that you're moving forward in your life with
integrity, you're not going to trip over little things that get messed up on the way, because you know

you're on a path to somewhere meaningful. This is why being non-reactive is so powerful – it’s
another indicator of attractiveness and of value that women and men alike can sense.

If some guy says something to you and you know he's doing it to piss you off, why would you
give him the benefit of your reaction? Why get pissed off about something that doesn't matter when
you could just simply choose to ignore it, or reframe it, or have a joke in return, or otherwise move
on? What he’s saying doesn't really matter. And by not reacting to it, you generate so much value.
The fact that you can’t even be bothered to react to such nonsense speaks volumes about your
character. It also demonstrates to women that you’re unshakable. If a fellow guy can’t work you up

into a commotion, what’s a little ole girl going to do to you? You can obviously handle the world. So
you can handle her.

Be non-reactive to things that annoy you or distract you from your primary purpose. They have
no place in your field of attention. They’ll only dilute your focus. Men will try and get you to react to
get money, power, or status from you. Women will try to get you to react to test if you’re really the
man of strength you project or if it’s all just smoke and mirrors. Don’t let either men nor women fool
you. Stay on your purpose.

Being non-reactive doesn’t mean being numb or dead inside. It means being cool when little
things go wrong. It means not sweatin’ the small stuff. Relax into the knowing that you have it under
control, and other people will feel it to. You can even approach this with a playful attitude, making a

joke out of it. Whether you choose to play it cool, or play it off as a joke, stay non-reactive.

Being non-reactive is a trait of the alpha male.

 Be Honest – To A Point

Honesty is one of the most important values that you can have as you meet women and

moreover, as you walk about the world. It’s so important, I made it one of the 4 key values of

Integrity GameTM (see later chapter). However, you also don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings in the
effort to be “extremely honest”. If being a man is about being honest, it’s also about protecting those
who cannot protect themselves. So we don’t want to be doing anything which is going to hurt other

people.

The reality is that extreme emotional honesty can be hurtful. If you're with a woman and you're
going to say something to her that's going to deeply hurt her under the guise of being emotionally
honest, don't say it. Woman can be sensitive creatures, and you’re just going to hurt her.

Have you ever heard of the honor code? In some military circles and in some secret societies
they have an honor code, which basically says you can't lie, cheat, or steal, with the exception of
protecting someone. They allow for a section on social etiquette, so if someone says, “Does my hair
look good?” you don't say, “No it looks like shit”. If they say, “Does this make me look fat?” You

don't say, “No, your face looks fat.” You don't want to be that honest because you're going to hurt
people.

If your girl asks you, “Does my hair look good?” and you think it really looks like shit you can
say, “You know what? It looks okay, but you know what I really loved? I really loved it a couple of
weeks ago when you had it in curls. I don't know but that was really hot to me.” Tell her what you do
like and what you want her to move towards, instead of telling her what you don’t like and breaking
her down.

You want to balance emotional honesty with empathy for other people's reactions. You should
be cognizant of how you're impacting the way that people feel once you start interacting with them.
You don't want to bring up negative feelings in other people.

Sometimes this can't be avoided. If you have a confrontation and you need to handle it and
have a straight talk with somebody, you may hurt their feelings, but it's serving the greater good. But

if you don't have to do it, then don't. That's basically what it comes down to.

Being honest, while also protecting those who cannot protect themselves, is a trait of the alpha
male.
 Be Sure of Yourself

Being sure of oneself is a key trait of the alpha male. In fact, to the alpha male, in many cases

it’s more important to be sure of oneself than it is to actually be right.

It is actually better to have conviction in something and be wrong about it than it is to be unsure
of yourself and be right. This is kind of interesting. I had a friend growing up who was a very
confident guy. To use our terms, we would say he had a very strong frame. And he was also a leader,

and when he led, people followed.

People naturally felt compelled to follow this guy, for whatever reason, and I remember a
particular instance of being in a car with him and several other people. We were lost and clearly
going the wrong way. I knew it, and said, “We're lost, we’re driving the wrong way.” But I had a
weak frame at that time, and I was unsure of myself, so no one wanted to follow my lead.

My friend insisted that we were, in fact, going the right way. He was adamant about his
position on the issue.

As it turned out, we were in fact going the wrong way, and he was wrong all along. But
because he was completely sure of himself, people went along with him. They continued to go along
with him, even when the signs were becoming clearer and clearer that this was the wrong path,
because the amount of certainty he had in himself.

He would simply restate, “We're good, we're good,” and everyone in the car would start
agreeing with him, saying, “We're good, we're good. Yeah, that’s right, we are going the right way.”
He just had a really strong frame – he was extremely sure of himself, despite not being right – and
because of his certainty people just went right along with it.

Does this narrative sound familiar? We see this with our politicians and so-called “leaders”
today. Full of conviction and hot air, but powerful none the less. And ready to “lead us” right off a
cliff.

Whether it’s cars or countries, when leaders use their strong frames to influence opinions,
people follow. This just goes to show you the power you can wield by being sure of yourself.

To bring our story to a conclusion, we eventually realized the error of our ways and corrected
course, getting to our destination nearly two hours late. I’ll never forget this story and the simple
lessons it taught. Being sure of yourself is so much more important than being a timid little wuss who
knows the right answer but can't communicate it in a strong way.

Being sure of yourself is a key trait of the alpha male.

 Adopt a Philosophy of Abundance

Another characteristic trait of the alpha male is that they have adopted a philosophy of

abundance.

Women are everywhere. At the store, in the supermarket, on the street, at the bar, at parties,
and literally every single other place you’re likely to go to in your regular life. Alpha males know
that there is an abundance of women in life, and an abundance of women in their life, and they project

this.

If your situation is such that you have a scarcity of women in your life it will come through. It
will show up as weakness and neediness and insecurity, clear as day. But once you truly understand
that women are everywhere, the way you walk about the world literally changes.

When you adopt a philosophy of abundance with women, you know that if anything were to
happen to a romantic relationship that you have it wouldn't be game over for you. Yes it would hurt
and you would go through your mourning period and go through everything you needed to, but you
would also know deep down inside that you could go out and meet another woman.

When I had scarcity with women, I didn’t have this belief. I didn’t have the skillset I now
have. I was awful with women, and I used to think, “Man, if my girlfriend leaves me I'm going to be
high and dry and God knows when I'm going to get another girlfriend. It could be months or
YEARS.” This came right through in many situations, and ended up being a self-fulfilling prophecy
because scarcity only begets more scarcity. This law of attraction is law of the universe.

You need to know that if something were to happen to a relationship that you have, at the end of
the day you could go out and meet someone else to provide that value and feminine energy to you, and
you’d be okay. When you understand this it’s really reassuring because you don't act needy and you
don't act insecure. You're less prone to act in these low value ways, and it shows. You know you can

do it again because you’ve done it before.

There are literally women everywhere. You are surrounded by the feminine. Open your eyes
to what is already there. Whether you start noticing the cute girls at the coffee shop more often, or

whether you start remembering the names of the cute cashiers at the supermarket whose names you
always glazed over, tune into the feminine that surrounds you. Realize that there is an abundance of
feminine energy, all around you, at all times, and all you have to do is tap into it.

As you continue to get more success in your interactions with women, you will earn reference

experiences which will highlight the reality that there is an abundance of women all around you. As
you go on more dates, flirt with more women, and have more women in your life, you’ll realize
abundance and live a life of abundance. This will only cause greater and greater abundance to flow
with you.

Guys that are good with women know that there is an abundance of women in the world.
Adopting a philosophy of abundance is a key trait of the alpha male.
 Do Things “Just Because” You Can

Having a positive outlook on life and adopting the belief systems and behaviors discussed in

this book is likely to lead you to be content with yourself, to accept whatever is going on, and to have
gratitude for your life. While this should make you happy most of the time, you don’t actually need a
reason to be happy.

You don't need to have found twenty bucks in a pair of jeans before putting them into the

washing machine to be happy. You should be happy just because. You don't need a reason.

This is so important, and it’s something I want to highlight here – acting a certain way just
because. I'm happy just because. I'm feeling a certain way just because. I'm doing this just because I
feel like doing it, so I'm doing it. I don't need a “good reason” to do it.

A lot of guys, myself included, grew up with elders telling us we needed reasons to do certain
things or to feel a certain way. I know I grew up hearing messages like, “You need a good reason to
act that way.” The truth is that’s complete bullshit.

You don’t need a reason to do or not do anything in this world. If you feel like doing
something, you can do it just because.

I'm going to be dominant with this girl just because I want to. I'm going to be happy just
because I can. I'm going to date this girl just because. I’m going to kiss this girl just because I feel
like it. I don't need a reason. I just want to.

Who gives you permission to do the things you want to do?

You do. You don't look to other people. You don't look to your parents or to society or to
whomever. You do what you want to do because you want to do it.
 And you own it. One hundred percent. And that’s that.

This is the behavior of an alpha male. An alpha male knows what he wants and goes about

getting it. This is masculine intent in action and women go crazy over it. Women are intensely
attracted to a man who knows what he wants and goes after it without apology, without hesitation,

without seeking permission from anybody, and without letting the feeling of friction from outside
forces affect him in his pursuits.

It’s important, at this time, to add a note about acting ethically. You should act ethically,
meaning the things that you do are the right things, add value, and are done through the filters of

empathy, respect, goodwill, and other positive intentions. Doing things just because doesn't give you
leeway to act like a tyrant – it gives you leeway to act like a real man.

A key trait of the alpha male is that he does things just because he wants to do them.
 The Advent of Integrity GameTM

Now that we’ve discussed the traits of an alpha male, let’s discuss what values he steps into

as he communicates with others. I’d like to introduce the idea of Integrity GameTM .

Integrity GameTM refers to the combination of the 4 key values of honesty, integrity,
congruence, and presence. A true alpha male steps into each of these 4 values as he runs his game.

Let’s break down each component of Integrity GameTM in more detail.

Honesty

An alpha male is honest. An alpha male is a man of his word. He tells the truth and tells it
like it is.

Lying is a form of cowardice. When we lie, we essentially say, “I’m not strong enough to
tell you the truth, or I’m afraid of what will happen if I tell you the truth, so here is something else
instead.” This is not characteristic of an alpha male. A true alpha male tells the truth in a given
situation, regardless of the consequence.

Integrity

An alpha male has integrity. What does it mean to have integrity? Having integrity means
that you have a certain level of self-respect about yourself and how you carry out your affairs. It
means you are a man that is dependable, trustable, and that follows through. When you are in integrity
with yourself it is clear as day to women. When you’re not in integrity with yourself, it comes right
through as well. A true alpha male has a high level of integrity about himself and his life.

Congruence

An alpha male is congruent. What does it mean to be congruent? Simply put, being
congruent means that you are what you say you are. You don’t just talk the talk, you walk your talk.

Too many men who get into the seduction community think they need to lie or mislead women

about who they are in order to get women. Worse yet, this is taught by many so-called “instructors” in
the pickup artist community. Not only is this misleading – but it’s unnecessary, and also harmful.

When you lie to a woman about who you are in order to sleep with her (or get anything else
from her), you are essentially saying to her, “I’m not good enough the way I am for you, so I’m going
to deceive you in order to take something I want from you.” There are several problems with this
approach.

First, you’re affirming the notion that you are not good enough for her. This belief is
inherently low value and indicates low self-esteem. It’s also patently untrue. But the more you feed
into it, the more true you make it, and the harder and harder it becomes to truly love yourself and
authentically value what you can offer a woman.

The second reason that this approach is wrong is because you are deceiving her. This puts
you further and further out of integrity with yourself as you continue to be more and more dishonest.
This is a double breach of values of honesty and integrity as well as a breach of the value of
congruence in and of itself.

The third reason this approach is wrong has to do with the frame this action comes from.
This action comes from the frame of taking things from women, as if they are the enemy, instead of
sharing things with women, with the understanding that they are our most powerful allies. Whenever
you feel like you are taking things from women (or that you “need to” take things from women), you
ought to really just take that as a sign that you need to check in with yourself.

For these reasons and many more, an alpha male is congruent.

Presence
 An alpha male is present. An alpha male shows up present, ready to hold the space for the

woman so that there is room for an incredible interaction to blossom.

What does it mean to be present? When you are showing up present, you are devoting your
full attention to the matter at hand. Your mind is completely in the present situation, sharp and

attentive, yet also relaxed. You are ready to handle whatever it is that comes your way, because you
are fully in the moment. You are also able to create a safe, productive place for connection to occur,
allowing you to afford your woman the opportunity to open up and truly commune with you.

What are some signs of not being present? One tell-tale sign is if you are worrying about

some event, past or future, which is not occurring at the moment.

Another tell-tale sign is distracted focus. If your focus is distracted, if you find your eyes
wandering about the environment that you’re in, if you’re listening to all the other sounds in the room
other than those that are coming from the interaction that you’re in, you can rest assured that you’re not
being present.

Lastly, you can look at your physiological signs. If you’re experiencing tightness in your chest,
tension in your shoulders, shortness of breath, or other physiological cues of constriction, you’re
likely not being in the present moment. Unless of course you’re in the present moment of being

chased by a lion in the savannah.

Being present allows you to give yourself the best possible chance of making a meaningful
connection with the woman you’re interacting with. It pays respect to other people’s time and energy,
which they are freely investing in the interaction with you. And it allows you to create a safe, inviting
space for a wonderful co-creation of mutual seduction. An alpha male is present.

Stepping into Integrity Game TM

Stepping into Integrity GameTM is a choice. No one can make you do it. It is possible to try
and meet women without stepping into the values of honesty, integrity, congruence, and presence. But
I wouldn’t recommend it.

Trying to “run game” without embodying these fundamental values is likely to leave you feeling
depleted, drained, and without a sense of having created any connection of value. The damage this

can do over the long run is severe and is not to be understated. I have seen many a pickup artist have
“success” on the outer layers of game, only to be deeply miserable and unhappy underneath the
surface because they never learned to bring these values into their interactions to create any sense of
greater meaning. And human beings are meaning making machines – this world is what you make of

it.

Are you going to make it a wonderful experience, richly vibrant, full of light, laughter, and
love? Or are you going to make it a barren wasteland, wrought with misery, characterized by
manipulation, and tempered by the ill-gotten gains of what you thought you could wrench from other
people? The choice is up to you. Your happiness is ultimately in your own hands.
Part VIII: The 7 Beliefs to Get Success TONIGHT

“As a Man Thinketh, So He Becomes.”

– Attributed to many, based on Proverbs 23:7

 The Genesis

The 7 Beliefs to Get Success TONIGHT have a very interesting genesis. These seven

compatible beliefs, which upon being invoked lead to success very quickly, were discovered by
accident.

I had a particular run a couple of years ago where I was having a high level of success with
women. Nearly every time I was going out, I was having very interesting and fruitful interactions

with the opposite sex. I sat down, taking an inventory of what I was doing differently, if anything, and
what kind of head space I was occupying in all of this. What I discovered was that it wasn’t what I
was doing by itself that was leading to a great result, but rather it was what I was doing as filtered
through seven distinct, highly compatible beliefs that were leading to such a remarkable result. I
backwards-engineered that mindset and codified it, and that’s what I’m sharing with you today.

What I came up with were these 7 beliefs, which I deeply believed at the subtlest level. I
truly believed all of these beliefs, internalizing them deeply, placing a huge amount of value on them.
That’s the only way that they can work to shine through you to influence your interactions in each and

every possible way.

I make each of these 7 beliefs true for me in my mind at the time of my success. But some of
them got spoken aloud as well, becoming the basis for some of the frames I was laying out when out
talking with women. You can verbalize any of these beliefs at any time, which can make them extra
effective when you’re out meeting women. Saying these to a woman is great because not only does it
frame the interaction, but it acts as a filter to filter away any women who are deeply opposed to these
ideas, which saves you time and mental and emotional energy.

There’s one thing I want to mention before I get into each belief in detail, and it’s that beliefs
are neither inherently true nor inherently untrue. It’s not like these were handed down on stone tablets
– they’re as real or as false as you make them. And if it’s real for you, then it’s real for you. And if

it’s not real for you, then it’s not real for your reality. There’s no way to prove that these beliefs are
right or wrong. And it wouldn’t matter anyway. What matters is if they are effective or not. I chose

to use them because they were effective for the results I wanted to achieve.

If at any point they stopped serving me, I would have discarded them. I have no attachment to
these beliefs, and only used them to the extent that they enabled me to get more of what I wanted in the
world.

This is interesting, because beliefs are things we really hold onto. We coddle them. We
nurture them. We treat them like a little baby. We feel like we need to protect them. Our ego feels
like it needs to protect them. We need to validate them. We need to search out examples of why this
belief is true and why we’re right and anyone who doesn’t believe in this is wrong. This tendency of
human nature has led to countless wars, both physical and mental, and all other sorts of manifestations
of pain and suffering. All of this is bullshit.

My invitation to you is to free yourself from your own self-imposed prison, and to allow
yourself to have the greatest possible life that you can have.

That being said, I chose to have these beliefs because they made my life more interesting than if
I had the opposite beliefs, or no beliefs in their place. Take them with a grain of salt. I highly
encourage you to try them out, as they’ve done some amazing things for me. But who knows, your
mileage may vary.

Let’s get started.

 Belief #1

The first belief to get success tonight is, “Everybody likes me.”

It’s such a different world when you grow up believing that people won’t like you. No matter
who those people are. People of a certain class, certain religion, or certain subculture. Or any other
characteristic that divides us.

I had the unfortunate and also fortunate experience of growing up outside of New York City and

beginning high school a week after the September 11th attacks. For those of you who do not know,
half of my background is Indian and I look very Indian. At that time I was a nerdy, bespeckled Indian
boy of not more than 13 or 14 years old.

For my first week of high school I was largely ignored. I was introverted, I was nerdy, and I
was really awkward. I was not that cool, I was not that fun, and I really didn’t have a lot going on.
But I was invisible, and I was okay with that invisibility.

After 9/11, everything changed. Being brown, having an Indian last name, being part of an

Eastern heritage, and looking Middle Eastern made it really hard to exist in a world where all of a
sudden everybody hated brown people. I was harassed, called names, assaulted, bullied, jumped,
and all sorts of other unpleasantries. Some of my fellow brown folks suffered worse fates and were
singled out for assaults purely on the basis of the color of their skin. This disenfranchisement led me
to believe at that time that nobody liked me. I responded by hating everyone back.

And because that’s what I believed, that’s what I saw. I set my filters a certain way, and
became victim to all this oppression I didn’t know existed before. I felt like an outsider in my own
like, like a traitor who didn’t belong, for something that I had no part in.

Additionally problematic for me at that time was that I entered puberty and I began noticing my
natural attraction to fair skinned women. I never thought in a million years that a white woman would
date me, let alone like me. My experiences told me that white women would hate me, and never

consider me a romantic prospect. And because those were the filters that I used to look at reality,
that’s what ended up being true for me at that time.

This caused me a tremendous amount of pain. I turned to various other activities to address that
pain, all destructive, some more destructive than others. It was not until I approached this situation
head on did I eventually find the absolution I was looking for.

Ironically, it was entrance into the seduction community, that allowed me to move past those

scars and those self-imposed filters that I had put into place. I say ironically because this absolution
occurred by approaching the very women that I thought would never love me in the first place.

As my interests moved past mere dating science, I became a part of the self-development
community more generally. Through introspection, extensive socialization exercises, and the
leadership of gurus in fields both material and ascetic, I learned to shed the filters that created so
much pain for me. I learned to love people and expected them to love me back.

As I found out, we get what we tune in to, and I found that connection is much more prevalent
than disconnection ever was. Today, I enjoy a wonderful relationship with a woman of a totally

different cultural heritage, I have a variety of friends and associates from all backgrounds and all
corners of the world, and I love people from all different walks of life.

How does my story apply to you? Maybe you didn’t have unfortunate racist experiences that
temporarily marred your perceived ability to connect with other people. But I’m sure you’ve had
other experiences where you didn’t feel part of a group. Where you didn’t feel welcome. Where you
didn’t feel like you would belong. And that probably caused you to believe that on some level,
people didn’t like you, or maybe even, that you were inherently unlikable.

The trance of disconnection is an illusion. Break the illusion, and come through with me to the
other side of connection. Know that you are a good person and that everybody likes you. Walk

through the world carrying that belief, and see how the world changes for you.

How does this manifest when out meeting women? Let’s say you go up to a woman to begin an
interaction and she immediately says to you, “Fuck off!” You might say to yourself, “That’s strange.

Everybody likes me, so I don’t know why she reacted like that. Maybe she’s having a bad day.” This
lets you brush it off, and perhaps even empathize with her, instead of taking it personally, getting upset
about it, and potentially ruining your state. This is just one example of how believing “everybody
likes me” can completely change the way you engage with your reality. There are so many others, and

I encourage you to adopt this belief yourself in order to discover them.

 Belief #2
The second belief to get success tonight is, “I always get good reactions from people that I

meet.”

Recall what I said earlier about beliefs not having to be true or untrue in order to have
power. I don’t care if this belief is true 100% of the time or not. What I care about is if it works.

I would rather believe that I always get good reactions from people that I meet than believe

the opposite which is that everyone I talk to hates me and wants me to leave. The latter belief doesn’t
serve me.

When I go into a new interaction with a woman I hold in my mind the idea, “I always get
good reactions from people that I meet.” I go in expecting them to wholeheartedly appreciate my
presence. To cherish my presence and really want me to be there. And 99 times out of 100 that’s
what happens.

Go into interactions believing, “I always get good reactions from people that I meet,” and see
how that changes everything for you.
 Belief #3

The third belief to get success tonight is, “I love everybody.” “I love everybody,” is something

that you want to internalize.

I have a friend in the spiritual community that is a super cool dude. He is extremely open
and receptive to the world, and has an energy that is really amazing. In fact, he has a harem of women
who flock to him because of this energy, but that’s beside the point I want to make here. The point I

want to make here is that he loves everybody. And incidentally, everybody loves him.

One of the things he says is, “One of my missions in life is to give everyone unconditional
love.” And that’s such a powerful way to walk through the world, isn’t it? He gives love to
everybody, and he gets it back to him in multiples. Like my spiritual friend, put out the energy
signature of that which you wish to attract. And you will attract that into your life. Love everybody,
and you will get love in return.
 Belief #4

The fourth belief to get success tonight is, “Every woman I meet wants me.” And yes, I mean

that she wants you physically. Passionately. Now.

Now this might sound crazy, but remember, all beliefs are as true as you make them.

And why wouldn’t every woman want me? Think about it.

I genuinely like myself. I think I’m a good person. I think I do the right thing. I think I’m
kind. I think I’m generous. I think I’m a fantastic lover. What all this really amounts to is having
healthy self-esteem.

So I can’t foresee any reason why any woman would not want the opportunity to experience
me. And for me to experience her. It just doesn’t make any sense any other way.

This belief creates a beautiful backdrop which allows you to really take action and make
things happen. That’s why believing that “Every woman I meet wants me” is so powerful.
 Belief #5

The fifth belief to get success tonight is, “Everything is amazing. The present moment is

perfect. Everything is exactly as it should be.”

This belief is a bit more esoteric than the preceding ones, but boy is it powerful. By
accepting the present moment, you allow yourself to put all of your energy towards making things
happen in the situation that has presented itself, as opposed to wasting mental energy lamenting that

things ought to be another way, which they are not.

The present moment is amazing. Being right where you are at this very moment is amazing.
Being alive right now, breathing oxygen, living on this planet, reading the book in front of you right
now, that is truly amazing.

It’s pretty obvious the immediate impact that adopting such a belief is going to have on your
game, but let’s use a concrete example. Let’s say you’re out at a night club. The most unsettling,
random things that can happen to you socially can happen in these venues. You can be talking to a
girl and everything is going great, and then from out of nowhere a nuclear missile comes in as her

friend drags her away for no reason, or vomits everywhere, or a fight breaks out, or a girl’s friend is
kicked out. The most random things can happen in these high energy social environments.

Now these unsettling events are not necessarily what I wanted to happen, but believing that
the present moment is amazing and that this is how it’s supposed to be, I can accept the current
situation and move through it with grace. This situation is unfolding the way it’s meant to happen, and
that’s okay. By not trying to resist it or freak out over it, I can keep my head screwed on straight, keep
a smile on my face, and maintain my positive state.

Also, I’m not arrogant enough to think that I know how things are supposed to happen. Who
knows, maybe that girl’s friend coming in creates a huge explosion of drama which gets all the other

girls to start looking over at me like “Wow, who is that guy?!?” and I get attraction from one of them

and one of them ends up being my dream girl. I’ve had exact things like this happen before. If I
didn’t accept it, and got angry, or started sulking, I might have missed out on the huge gift that the

universe had just conspired to give me. That’s one of many reasons why it’s so important to believe
that “Everything is amazing. The present moment is perfect. Everything is exactly as it should be.”
 Belief #6

The sixth belief to get success tonight is, “Every situation is an opportunity to get laid. The

universe gives me gifts all the time.”

Forgive the crass wording in this one. There’s just no other way to encapsulate the energy
required to make this belief effective without it.

You start getting the gifts I was talking about in the last section when you truly start holding

this belief. Let’s break this belief down into parts.

The first part of this belief states that, “Every situation is an opportunity to get laid.” When
you believe this, you totally change your reality so that you see things that you would not see if you
did not have this belief. What were once obstacles, like unfortunate events while out, become
opportunities. For example, drama in the club that kills a vibe becomes a reason to isolate a girl and
take her to another part of the club for quality time alone, if only you have a belief system that allows
you to make the best use of what’s going on around you instead of becoming a victim to it.

If I’m talking to a woman and her girlfriends come up to pull her away, I’ll put my hand out
to them and say, “No way, she was just talking about her girlfriends. I’m Josh, it’s so nice to meet
you.” I’ll diffuse the situation before it ever becomes a problem. I’ll use it as leverage. I don’t
throw anything that comes toward me away. I find a way to use it to further my set.

The second part of this belief states that, “The universe gives me gifts all the time.” When
you start believing this you start to get those gifts. In the past I’ve shown up to a nightclub holding
this belief and just as I’ve walked through the door, a girl will come running up to me screaming, “I
love your necklace!” or “OMG you look cool, I want to meet you!”

I’d like to share another story with you that relates to getting gifts from the universe. I
had a situation where I was headed to a bar on a random Monday night. I had to drive about 45
minutes to get there, and I’m all in my head and all out of state. But I remember my beliefs, and I

know the impact they have on me, so I start recalling them. As I walk in the door of the bar, not 15
seconds after being there, I see a guy who I had met a few weeks before that. We had just been cool

with one another, exchanging mutual value, no big deal. He comes up to me with a hot girl and says,
“Hey Josh, I think you’d like this girl, I want you to meet her.” He said this to both her and I and it
was just great. The universe gives me gifts all the time. This stuff happens when you allow it to
happen.

Remember, “Every situation is an opportunity to get laid. The universe gives me gifts all the
time.”
 Belief #7

The seventh belief to get success tonight is, “Women are amazing, beautiful creatures that I love

making connections with.”

I love women from the bottom of my heart. I love everything about them.

I love the way they move. I love the way they talk. I love the way they smell. I love the
way their skin feels. I love the way their hair feels. I love the way they feel against my body. I love

the way they talk to me. I love the way they’re emotional. I love the way they’re crazy. I love the
way they’re out of their mind. I love the way that they’re flying all over the sky when you’re the rock
and she’s the kite and she’s flying all around and you’re holding her down. I love everything about
them and I love everything about the masculine-feminine dynamic.

And I love being a man.

I love making connections with women. It’s so much fun. We have the opportunity every day
to meet amazing people and to connect with them in ways we didn’t have the day before. It’s a gift.

It’s a blessing. It’s amazing.

“Women are amazing, beautiful creatures that I love making connections with.”
 The 7 Beliefs to Get Success TONIGHT

The beliefs listed below are the 7 beliefs that I embody when I’m firing on all cylinders. These

are the beliefs that I truly believe in and use to great effect to achieve massive success in this area of
my life. I communicate many of these verbally as well. These beliefs are key in helping me to step
into states of effectiveness and helping me to shape interactions around me.

Here are the 7 Beliefs to Get Success TONIGHT:

Belief #1: Everybody Likes Me

Belief #2: I Always Get Good Reactions From People That I Meet

Belief #3: I Love Everybody

Belief #4: Every Woman I Meet Wants Me

Belief #5: Everything is Amazing. The Present Moment is Perfect. Everything Is Exactly As It

Should Be.

Belief #6: Every Situation is an Opportunity to Get Laid. The Universe Gives Me Gifts All The
Time.

Belief #7: Women Are Amazing, Beautiful Creatures That I Love Making Connections With
 Afterword

“Begin at the beginning,” the King said, very gravely, “and go on till you come to the end: then stop.”

― Lewis Carroll, Alice in Wonderland

 A Final Note

It has truly been my pleasure producing this body of work for you. I spent years in pain and

inner conflict searching for the answers to inner calm and becoming the most naturally attractive man
I could be. That search is one that has evolved with time and has taken me to places I never dreamed
of going. For that I am eternally grateful. Thank you for allowing me to share my experience with
you.

Please, put this material to good use.

Become Your Best SelfTM , run your game as Integrity GameTM , and like a beacon of destiny,
light up the world around you.

My Best,
Josh Maverick
Airtight Game
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 Acknowledgments

I want to take a special moment out to thank John Prime – my wing when I first started learning

and applying dating science in Arizona many years ago. I want to thank John for his guidance, his
wisdom, and his friendship. John also contributed to the body of knowledge that this book is based
on, as we co-taught an Inner Game seminar about 4 years ago which formed part of the framework for
this book. Thank you John for everything you have given to the world.

I want to thank my family, and my wonderful girlfriend, for supporting me throughout everything
I’ve done. I love you guys.

I want to thank the PUA groups throughout the years that have always supported my endeavors.
Specifically, the groups in Tucson, Atlanta, Raleigh, and New York. The continued support of you
fine gentlemen has given me an audience to continue to do the work that I love to do. For that I am
profoundly grateful.

I want to thank my gurus in Business, Marketing, Pickup, Spirituality, and in all aspects of
Game, inner, outer, and everything in between. You know who you are. Thank you.

I want to thank all the women that I have connected with on a deep emotional level throughout
this crazy journey – amongst many other gifts, you have acted as mirrors which have allowed me to
see the parts of myself that were yearning to grow in ways I could have never foretold. For this and
everything else, I thank you and I love you.

Lastly, I want to thank You, the reader – it is only because of your dedication to Become Your

Best SelfTM that I am able to do the work that I do. Thank you for giving me an audience to live out
this part of my life purpose.
 Books by Josh Maverick
Get the Girl in 30 Days or Less: 30 Step-by-Step Missions for PUAs, Naturals, and Guys Just

Like You to Attract Women and Get Dates

The first book in the Airtight Game Series takes you through a sequence of 30 Step by Step missions
designed to take you from start to finish in your quest to get your dating life handled. This book is all
about ACTION – taking action to get results in your life, today. If you want to learn how to approach

women, generate attraction, and get dates in a step by step manner, you’ll want to check out this book
now.

The Inner Game of Dating: The Secret Belief Systems that Master PUAs, Naturals, and Ladies
Men Use to Build Confidence, Attract Women, and Get Dates

The second book in the Airtight Game Series takes you through all the ins and outs of Inner Game,
explaining why you think the way you do and why women think the way they do. Learn why “you’re
on” some nights and off others and how to change that. Learn how to overcome past obstacles and

limiting beliefs to get the success with women that you deserve. And learn the Secret Traits of an
Alpha Male and the 7 Beliefs to Get Success TONIGHT.