Transcript

Hello students!
in today’s lecture we are going to learn about concept of emotional intelligence. In previous
module you must have studied about basic definition and concept of emotion. Now we are
going to be little bit ahead than just definition of emotion.
Before starting with theoretical concept ,
First, try to give answer for this question.
What are your views about emotions?
Few students might have this thought that,
emotions make you less effective.
We should not be very emotional.
Some of them feels emotions have to be supressed.
Like, we should not cry front of others ,
emotions make you weak, or emotions can become obstacle in your decision-making ability,
so don’t be emotional while taking decision. So, different views could be there…..
actually, you can review your opinions on this and try to check after this lecture, whatever
you are thinking about emotions is it really scientific concept of emotion?
To start with, I would like to tell you few examples related to Emotional intelligence,
that can be helpful for you to understand concept of EI .
EI is a abbreviation of Emotional intelligence.
First example is - XYZ person is working in multinational company. He has achieved lots of
awards and achievements related to his work, so that he got promotion and now he is a boss
of a particular unit. But If you ask his colleagues or other workers in that unit about his
behaviour or his relationship with others, they always complaint that he is not very good
with others. He just can’t control his anger, never considers others perspective, always try to
dominate others, never ready to understand others’ problems, very demanding, and always
have criticizing habits to his co-workers. Because of that no one is very happy for his
promotion as a boss and they decided to do written complaint to higher authority of the
company.
Now second example – 13 year old boy playing badminton in a very well manner. He is very
skilful at physical skills related to game and that’s why he and his parents decided to go
ahead with this Badminton game for his career, So he started special coaching for that, he’s
doing very well in his game. But , after state levels matches his coach complaint to his
parents about his faulty behaviour. Whenever he play wrong shot at the time of match he lose
his concentration on game and suddenly he start doing many mistakes , losing his control on
game, sometimes he argue with match umpire. In last match he just banged his racket on
court.
So, students! What do you observe in both the examples?
Yes! You are correct. Both of them facing issues related to their emotions.
In first example, person is highly qualified, intelligent, ambitious but he is not good leader
because he is lacking in interpersonal skills.
In second example that boy is actually very good at physical skills but he can’t manage his
emotions at the time of performance and because of that he loses his concentration and focus.
In both the examples they are good at something but because of few aspects of emotions
related skills they are lacking in their progress and goals.
Now we will go ahead with definition of emotional intelligence.
This definition given by Salovey & Mayer in 1993.
“A form of social intelligence that involves the ability to monitor one’s own and others
feelings and emotions. To discriminate among them and to use this information to guides
one’s thinking and actions’’.
In 1999 they added few key words in definition that are as follows-
“Emotional intelligence is ability to perceive emotions; to access and generate emotions so as
to assist thought; to understand emotions and emotional knowledge; and to reflectively
regulate emotions so as to prompt emotional and intellectual growth”.
One more, definition given by Goleman in 1998. ‘Abilities such as being able to motivate
oneself and persist in the face of frustration; to control impulse and delay gratification; to
regulate ones moods and keep distress from swamping the ability to think, to empathize and
to hope.’
So, what do you understand by these definitions?
We will discuss the concept of emotional intelligence with the key words included in above
definitions-
Such as, ability to perceive emotions- as all of you aware, perceiving means understanding.
So, can you understand your emotions? Your emotions, as well as emotions of others?
Many a times people can’t label their emotions means they are not identifying their emotions.
E.g., When you are saying ‘I am angry’, that time are you really angry or feeling frustrated?
Sometimes we experience sheds of emotions. can you identify how they are different than
each other? Intensity of emotions will change accordingly.
E.g., anger, rage or annoyance which has different sheds of anger.
Then next key words are Perceiving emotions of others, it is also important part of
emotional intelligence.
Can you identify and understand emotions of others? When you are communicating with
your friends, parents, teachers etc. can you recognise what are they feeling in that situation?
E.g., If your mother is saying to you, “I am fed up with all the household responsibilities, I
need change!’’
which emotion are you identifying?
irritation, frustration, helplessness or indirectly asking help from you?
If you able to identify emotions of others, it means you can empathize with them and this can
help you to develop good relationship with others.
One more key statement that we can focus is, generate emotions so as to assist thought.
Actually, indirectly it is focusing about your ability to express emotions and identify link with
thoughts.
E.g., If you are experiencing anger, that time, can you identify and recognize thought behind
your anger?
There is connection between thoughts, emotions and we act accordingly.
E.g. If you are alone in house at night and your dog started barking . You immediately start
experiencing fear or curiosity or any specific emotion. Why? Because you might think there
could be someone near your window. This thought triggers your fear.
Similarly, can you express your emotions properly? If yes, then you have one of the skill of
emotional intelligence.
E.g. Most of the time, people say this to others, ‘I meant something different but you took it
in a wrong manner’. Actually,.. why that person perceive something else that you are not
intended to express ? or Did you expressed something different?
Just, think on this question and try to get answer of it.
Other important key words are regulating emotions, impulse control, delaying
gratification.
At the beginning we discussed two examples in which both of them unable to control their
anger or impulses because of that they are not reaching their goals. If you are managing your
negative emotions and controlling your impulses it means you are emotionally intelligent
person.
We will take one hypothetical situation-
E.g., If you are taking part in a very prestigious dancing competition and for that you want to
buy expensive drapery. You asked your parents about it but parents said No!! we don’t have
that much budget for your drapery. They are suggesting you, ‘for this first round, you
manage something by yourself, for next level we will arrange something for your drapery’.
What will be your response?
Some of the students will start arguing with parents, some of them may start showing
tantrums to parents, some of them thought to cancel the enrolment from competition. In such
type of responses, we can say that there is a scope for development of emotional intelligence.
But those who are actually good at EI they might empathize their parents and started looking
for other options for drapery and will wait for next level. It means they are regulating their
emotions and delaying gratifications.
That’s how emotional intelligence definition can be explained .
Now, Let’s go ahead with important aspects of EQ.
Dear students!
you must have heard about IQ…that is intelligence quotient.
In intelligence module you must have gone through with the concept of Intelligence and IQ
so, I am not going in detail about that.
I just wanted to focus that, all of us are very well aware about IQ but rarely about EQ.
Many a times parents insist psychologist that, they wanted to check their child’s IQ for
selecting career or for academic performance but no one insists for EQ testing.
EQ is emotional quotient. We can measure the emotional intelligence of the person with few
psychological tests and we get EQ of the person.
Let’s discuss, What is the difference between IQ and EQ ?
First is IQ deals with cognitive activities or processes of person but EQ deals with emotional
activity of the person.
Second is IQ is genetic. It will develop till certain age after that it will not develop. But EQ
can be developed, it could be learning process throughout the life. At any stage of life, you
can develop your EQ.
IQ can predict school performance; suitable career options and EQ is important in emotional
and physical wellbeing. Person’s success is depend on EQ.
According to Goleman (1995) 80% success of life is depend on emotional intelligence.
Low level of EQ may lead to poor adjustments, lacking in interpersonal relationship skills
and low self-awareness.
So, we can say that emotional intelligence plays important role in person’s life, indirectly it
has impact to persons family life and social life.
Now you must have understood the importance of emotional intelligence in our life.
For developing EQ, some important skills are necessary. Now we will discuss about that.
First is Emotional awareness or literacy about emotions.
Emotional literacy is the ability to recognize, understand and appropriately express our
emotions.
We can say that it is a foundation of perceiving and communicating emotions.
I would like to give you one activity related to this.
To gain knowledge about your emotional literacy or accuracy in understanding emotions, you
have to just watch video in which two people are communicating ..so any movie scene or any
scene for five minutes but the interesting task is you have to mute that video and try to
perceive emotions from the facial expressions of the speaker and listener. Note down
emotions that you observed.
Now next step is, you have to unmute that video and watch that scene again.
Tell me student’s, is there any difference in perceiving emotions for muted and unmuted
video?
Do this activity and try to find the answer.
If the difference in both the videos are high then there is a scope for developing emotional
literacy. Don’t feel sad because that is just one aspect of emotional literacy.
In emotional literacy, labelling emotions with specific vocabulary also play important role
because , for expressing specific emotion we use different feeling words e.g. ‘I am unhappy’,
‘it’s very irritating!’, ‘ I am curious’ etc.
If I ask you, how many feeling words you can use for expressing anxiety?
Let’s try it for a few seconds. Answer could be two or three words.
But if you go in detail, and try to find online dictionary for emotions you will realize there are
many synonyms of word for specific emotions.
Dear students, I will give one more simple activity for labelling emotions
That, you can do in few minutes.
You have to just go to your what’s app and check different emoji’s and symbols for
expressing emotions. Now try to name those emoji’s with specific emotions.
I am sure with this activity you can identify emotions and label emotions.
But students don’t forget that, when we are communicating with each other along with facial
expressions verbal communication also play important role. Our emotions are very much
loaded with different factors, only emoji’s can’t be sufficient enough.
Along with vocabulary you can gain emotion knowledge and constructive expression of
emotions.
If you are emotionally literate, you can get many benefits such as,
your communication with others will improve,
You can understand various group dynamics,
Your decision making and managing conflict will also improve.
On the basis of this explanation, you must have understood the emotional literacy as
important aspect of emotional intelligence.
Let’s move to next important aspect of emotional intelligence, that is relationship skills.
 Willam Glasser explained one of the assumption in his reality therapy is, ‘ All long -lasting
psychological problems are relationship problems’. If you observed most of the time the root
cause of many problems could be relationship issues.
e.g. issues between parent - child, between husband – wife, between boss and workers so any
type of formal, informal and intimate relationships. It may work as a stressors for us.
If your EQ is high, definitely you can manage emotions in others.
e.g., If your parents are pointing out your mistakes and you are not negatively reacting on that
because you are trying to understand their perspective. It will not damage your relationship
with your parents. As well as after observing your behaviour pattern of ‘not reacting and
listen carefully’, they will also change their reactions towards you.
So, what do you understand by this example, our reactions and responses can change
relationship with others.
For that you need to develop your relationship skills. Such as,
Empathy - means, Understanding others perspective,
Putting yourself in other persons’ situation and show concern for his/her feelings,
Student’s don’t get confuse with empathy and sympathy!
Empathy is different than sympathy.
e.g. ‘ very sad ! don’t worry everything will be alright. This is a sympathetic response.
But ‘oh! It’s very sad, I can understand how you are feeling now! I am there with you’. This
is empathetic response.
When you will empathize others, you will not have conflict with them because you are
understanding that person is correct on his/her place.
You can understand others feelings and emotions. This quality of yours help you to have good
relationships with others. It may create close bond with them.
Obviously! Such a type of good bond makes your support system very strong and you solve
many problems in your life,
It can work as coping strategy for many stressors.
Alright students! Are you with me till this?
Ok. Now we are moving towards last aspect of emotional intelligence.
Actually, we discussed little bit about this aspect, at the time of explanations of key words
included in definitions. That aspect is thinking process .
What are you thinking about self, about others , about environment is really important
because this thought process triggers your emotions and actions.
If your thoughts and beliefs are rational, means based on reality and facts you will find
accuracy in your thoughts.
Otherwise, you will not understand logic and cause-and-effect relationship in different
situations.
Your perception will be faulty perception, and it will create problem in your life.
If your self-talk is negative , you will feel inferior and again vicious cycle of many problems
may emerge.
We will discuss one hypothetical example for this,
Person B, given a job interview, but he failed in that, and he started thinking negatively
about his performance like,
I am not good at anything,
I will not have successful career, so he can’t digest this failure and he decided that, he will not
appear for any other job interview in future.
So, students! Do you think the beliefs of this person B can be helpful for him in future?
Yes, you are right ! this will definitely not helpful for him,
because analysing situation in illogical manner can create obstacles in present life and future.
So ..what do you think the proper way to analysing situation rationally?
E.g. He needs to think.., ‘what mistakes I did at the time of interview?’
‘What are the skills that I am lacking in?’
‘I would prefer to do better in next interview’ .
So, having quality to think rationally and dispute with irrational thoughts, also one of the
important skills in emotional intelligence.
Students you must have heard about REBT given by Albert Ellis,
he also mentioned that activating events or adversities are not responsible for your failure but
what you are thinking on that situation plays important role in your life.
If you think rationally, you can analyse situation rationally and you can get positive
consequences on your behaviour.
But, if you hold irrational beliefs after an activating event, it will become obstacle in your
life.
Ok students! in this session we looked in detail information about emotional intelligence.
We discussed definition and various aspects of emotional intelligence with different
hypothetical cases and examples.
We also discussed and try to initiate various activities that can helped you to understand
different skills in emotional intelligence.
Please go through with the various attachments which are provided so that you get better
understanding about the concept of emotional intelligence.
Thank you so much for active listening!