The Art of Starting Over (Again and Again)

When Career Is Your Identity—And Then It’s Not

ARPITA MEHTA
FEB 06, 2025

I’ve been working non-stop since 2010—before I even started college. My first taste of
the media industry was interning at Vogue India, and from there, I did what so many of
us did in the early 2010s: hustled through unpaid internships between Boston and
New York City. From the OG days of interning at Gilt Groupe to running around 5th
Avenue, interviewing, and changing into heels at Starbucks, I said yes to every
opportunity, letting my gut guide me to whatever came next.

I had a job offer out of college at Sprinklr, but it turned out to be more of a technical
marketing role (coding was involved, and my math-challenged self was struggling)
rather than creative—so I had to bow out. That was my first experience trusting my
instincts. After that, it took me nearly eight months to land my first real job. In the
meantime, I wrote for online magazines, applying anywhere and everywhere from my
childhood bedroom. I sent out applications to new startups back then like Warby
Parker, ClassPass, and every media agency imaginable. My emails reached almost
every recruiter or HR coordinator in the greater New York area.

Like any good millennial who came of age in the Girl Boss era—my peplum tops and I
had one goal: build my career, climb the ladder, and one day become Chief Marketing
Officer of some fortune-500 company.

And I did the damn thing.

:
 I spent this past decade working at the intersection of digital media and marketing—
leading beauty and fashion advertiser strategies at theSkimm & PopSugar, and most
recently at Byrdie & InStyle. I worked at TikTok in the peak of the pandemic trying out
a global business marketing role, helping shape their beauty and retail platform
strategies.

I was in all the right rooms. Presenting to C-suite executives at iconic brands like
LVMH and L’Oréal. Pitching creative strategies at Sephora HQ in San Francisco—a
:
 dream moment, standing in a conference room with their signature black-and-white
walls. I built a network I’m deeply proud of. I made work friends who became lifelong
support systems. I networked. I pushed myself out of my comfort zone. I learned how
to negotiate and advocate for myself. I asked for more money. I got promoted. I
mentored, consulted, and side-hustled.

Somewhere in this era, The Little Brown Diary was born. I’d come home from my
commute, eat dinner, and then moderate the group until midnight—only to do it all
over again the next day. The seeds for my future podcast were planted when I started
a for-fun, Instagram account called Millennial Skin.

But then, the pandemic rewired everything I thought I knew about work, fulfillment,
and ambition. I was good at my job, but every day felt like I was locked inside a life that
no longer fit. The signs were everywhere, growing louder and clearer, but I kept
ignoring them because—well, bills. Stability. Rent. All of that good stuff.

So, in 2022, I gave myself a year to “figure it out.” I launched my podcast, The Modern
Millennial, and started exploring new paths. My husband, who was finishing his
medical training, and I moved back in with my parents. But I was still coming up for air
after a year-long health battle that knocked me sideways, and I didn’t have the
strength (and the faith) to take a full chance on myself. I took time off and spent a few
weeks in Mumbai, my second home with family. I worked with a career coach. Did the
self-reflection. Reflected and wrote. And all roads led back to one realization: I needed
to be part of something larger than me at that moment. I craved collaboration and
structure after only working with the sound of my voice for the year that had passed.

So, I went back to corporate life. Took a fancy new job at Snapchat in January 2023—
only to be laid off days into the role due to restructuring. That kickstarted a wild series
of events: four jobs in the past year. Freelance and full-time. Endless interviews. So
:
 many W-2s that even my accountant called me with a with a “U good, girl?”

The past 12 months have felt like an out-of-body experience—going through the
motions but losing pieces of myself along the way. I experienced career highs I never
could have imagined and lows that knocked the wind out of me—layoffs, toxic work
environments, and the looming dread of asking myself: Do I even want to do this
anymore?

And then the signs weren’t just emotional anymore—they showed up physically.
Increased stress. Deep unhappiness. Depressive episodes. Hiding from the world.
Taking social media breaks. Losing my creative spark. Feeling anything but myself.

The thing is, career becomes your identity long before you even realize it.
And us millennials got the shortest end of that stick. As a 30-something who’s been
married for a few years, it felt like the only shift people expected from me was from
wife to mom. But a career pivot at 32? That wasn’t part of the plan.
:
 At first, I mourned the version of myself who had it all mapped out—the fearless 20-
something who stood outside her first job interview (pictured above) and excitedly
asked a friend to take a picture. The girl who built a career in an industry she had no
connections in—where no one in her family or inner circle had a clue how to navigate
it. The girl who made $18 an hour at a top PR agency, only to book travel and fetch
salads for an extremely rude boss. The one who lived at home to save money, checked
all the boxes, made all the “right” choices (okay, maybe not all—zero regrets about
that Celine Nano bag I bought with my first few paychecks).

And yet, here I was.

I wouldn’t change a single step of my career trajectory. Every experience has shaped
me into the person I am today, and I’m incredibly proud of what I’ve built and endured.

But as I inch closer to 33, today I’m standing at the starting line again. And to be
honest? I’m terrified. I feel the fear in every way possible. It feels like I’m both
restarting and resurfacing at the same time.

What I do know is this: I was never meant to do just one thing. And if any of this
resonates with you, maybe you weren’t either.

You’re allowed to change your mind. There isn’t one linear path. Some of us weren’t
meant to live a life that looks perfect on LinkedIn. Or maybe anything that has to do
with LinkedIn, really. Or maybe life is about seasons and pauses. I’ve learned the grass
isn’t greener on the other side, it’s greener where you water it. This episode of my
podcast with Hema Persad has been a guiding light, not realizing I needed this
inspiration more than anyone who listened to it.

I’ve been exhausted from dodging the one question we resort to at every new social
interaction—one that became seemingly impossible to answer: “So, what do you do?”
:
 It always felt easier to shrink into the identity of a company name than to admit what I
really wanted to say for the past few years— I have no idea. I’m having fun figuring it
out.

We will figure it out. All in time.

Until then, if you’re following along, I’ll be throwing things at the wall and seeing what
sticks. It’s 2025, the world doesn’t look like it did in 2014, and we have the right to
rewrite our stories.

Thanks for reading The Modern Millennial!

Subscribe for free to receive new posts and
support my work.

19 Likes ∙ 2 Restacks

Previous

Discussion about this post

Comments Restacks

Write a comment...
:
 Sabena 2d
Liked by Arpita Mehta

I can relate to literally every part of this! So many twists & turns that were unexpected in my caree
Your story is so powerful - and also this all makes me that much more excited to chat soon :)
LIKE (1) REPLY
19 6 2

1 reply by Arpita Mehta

Anna Paskow 2d
Liked by Arpita Mehta

Arpita - I've always adored your writing! You did such a beautiful job with this piece capturing and
often non-talked about part of careers. I myself am going through something similar....its time to
rebuild again and the anxiety is real. Thank you for sharing!
LIKE (1) REPLY

1 reply by Arpita Mehta

4 more comments...

© 2025 TMM Media ∙ Privacy ∙ Terms ∙ Collection notice

Substack is the home for great culture
: