Descriptive Writing
Note:
★ A descriptive paragraph only describes; it DOES NOT tell a story
★ Avoid the use of first person pronouns: I, me, my
★ Avoid the use of second person pronouns: you
★ Avoid listing and repeating the same sentence beginning.
★ Make the reader feel as if he/she was there at that moment.
Avoid listing and repeating the same sentence beginning.
★ Don’t just list the description of your subject. Use different sentence beginnings.
★ Example: The dragon is big with rough, dry scaly skin. The stench of the
dragon’s foul breath filled the air. The sound of the dragon’s hissing echoes in
the cave. (Notice how all these sentences begin with the. Very boring!) ✗
★ Rewrite: Rough, dry, scaly skin wrapped around the dragon’s body. Hissing
noises echoed and bounced off the cave walls while the foul stench of the
dragon’s breath filled the air. ✔
Example
Look at this image, and
focus on describing
through 5 senses.
Sensory Imagery
Senses
Sound Quiet
Wind blowing
Branch rustling
Touch Hard, frozen ground
Crisp, cold air
Warm heater/lamp in the cottage
Smell Possibly tea aroma from the cottage
Crisp smell of snow
Taste N/A
Sight Dark night
Glowing cottage
Twinkling stars
Write to describe
Using the ideas that have been gathered, we will be writing a description of
the image. (added sensory details in orange)
Example:
Snowy evenings in the enchanted forest are beautiful. The woods were still
and black. The ground was frozen and white, and the crisp smell of fresh
snow was in the air. The blowing of the wind and the occasional rustling of
leaves were the only sounds on this quiet night. Bright, twinkling stars filled
the ink-black sky. In the distance, a small cottage glowed warmly.
Suddenly, the clouds above opened and snow began to fall.
Figurative Language
Similes: comparison using like or as
Example: The cat crept like the night, dark and quiet.
Metaphors: comparison which does not use like or as
Example: The cat was the night as it crept up the stairs.
Personification: giving non-human objects, human-like characteristics
Example: The trees waved its arms back and forth in the distance.
Onomatopoeia: sound words
Example: buzz, crash, bang, boom
Adding figurative language
Let’s adjust our writing further:
(Figurative language is added in green)
Snowy evenings in the enchanted forest are beautiful. The woods were still
and black. The ground was hard frozen ice, and the crisp smell of fresh
snow was in the air. The night placed its icy, cold fingers around the forest,
whilst the blowing of the wind and the occasional rustling of leaves were
the only sounds on this quiet night. Stars, bright and twinkling like
diamonds filled the ink-black sky. In the distance, a small cottage glowed
warmly, a beacon of welcome on this cold night. Suddenly, the clouds
above opened and an army of dainty snowflakes began to fall.
Removing repetitive sentence beginnings
In red, are the repetitive sentence beginnings:
Snowy evenings in the enchanted forest are beautiful. The woods were still
and black. The ground was hard frozen ice, and the crisp smell of fresh
snow was in the air. The night placed its icy, cold fingers around the forest,
whilst the blowing of the wind and the occasional rustling of leaves were
the only sounds on this quiet night. Stars, bright and twinkling like
diamonds filled the ink-black sky. In the distance, a small cottage glowed
warmly, a beacon of welcome on this cold night. Suddenly, the clouds
above opened and an army of dainty snowflakes began to fall.
Removing repetitive sentence beginnings
We can rewrite into: (tip: adding adverbs at the beginning of your
sentences can help!)
Cold, frosty, snowy evenings in the enchanted forest are beautiful.
Silence and darkness filled the wood. Frozen solid, ground was
hard, and the crisp smell of fresh snow was in the air. Softly, night
placed its icy, cold fingers around the forest, whilst the blowing of the
wind and the occasional rustling of leaves were the only sounds on
this quiet night. Stars, bright and twinkling like diamonds filled the
ink-black sky. In the distance, a small cottage glowed warmly, a
beacon of welcome on this cold night. Suddenly, the clouds above
opened and an army of dainty snowflakes began to fall.
Recap:
In order to improve on our descriptive writing, we can:
1. Add sensory images
2. Add figurative language, and
3. Remove repetitive sentence beginnings
Your turn
Choose one image and write your descriptive paragraph. Remember to focus on
adding sensory images, figurative language and writing with interesting sentence
beginnings.