MODELS

Table of Contents
PART I: REALITY.................................................................................................................................... 4
CHAPTER 1.......................................................................................................................................... 4
Non-Neediness...................................................................................................................................4
The Seduction Process....................................................................................................................... 4
Narcissism and Overcompensation....................................................................................................5
CHAPTER 2.......................................................................................................................................... 5
Power in Vulnerability.......................................................................................................................5
The Pain Period..................................................................................................................................5
CHAPTER 3.......................................................................................................................................... 5
The Gift of Truth................................................................................................................................5
The Truth is Always Shining Through...............................................................................................6
Setting Boundaries.............................................................................................................................6
Finding Your Truth.............................................................................................................................7
Friction and Projection.......................................................................................................................7
PART II: STRATEGY................................................................................................................................7
CHAPTER 4.......................................................................................................................................... 7
Polarization........................................................................................................................................ 7
The Three Categories of Women....................................................................................................... 8
Strategies for Each Category............................................................................................................. 8
Polarizing to Attract........................................................................................................................... 9
CHAPTER 5.......................................................................................................................................... 9
Rejection and Success........................................................................................................................9
It’s Usually Not About You................................................................................................................9
Redefining Success.......................................................................................................................... 10
CHAPTER 6........................................................................................................................................ 10
The Three Fundamentals..................................................................................................................10
Natural Advantages/Disadvantages................................................................................................. 10
Two Types of Men............................................................................................................................11
PART III: HONEST LIVING...................................................................................................................11
CHAPTER 7........................................................................................................................................ 11
 Demographics.................................................................................................................................. 11
Lifestyle Choices..............................................................................................................................11
Beliefs and Self-Selection................................................................................................................11
Age, Money, and Looks................................................................................................................... 11
Social Proof......................................................................................................................................12
Being Something Versus Saying Something....................................................................................12
CHAPTER 8........................................................................................................................................ 12
Lifestyle and Presentation................................................................................................................12
Fashion and Fitness..........................................................................................................................13
Body Language................................................................................................................................ 13
Vocal Tonality.................................................................................................................................. 13
Developing Character...................................................................................................................... 13
Bringing It All Together...................................................................................................................14
PART IV: HONEST ACTION................................................................................................................. 14
CHAPTER 9........................................................................................................................................ 14
What Are Your Stories?....................................................................................................................14
Defense Mechanisms.......................................................................................................................14
You Are Not a Victim.......................................................................................................................15
Sexual Motivation............................................................................................................................15
CHAPTER 10...................................................................................................................................... 16
How to Overcome Anxiety.............................................................................................................. 16
The Guide to Overcoming Your Anxiety......................................................................................... 16
Courage and Boldness......................................................................................................................16
PART V: HONEST COMMUNICATION............................................................................................... 17
CHAPTER 11...................................................................................................................................... 17
Your Intentions.................................................................................................................................17
Creepiness........................................................................................................................................17
Sexual Tension.................................................................................................................................17
Developing an Emotional Connection.............................................................................................17
Building and Breaking Habits..........................................................................................................18
CHAPTER 12...................................................................................................................................... 18
How to Improve Your Flirting......................................................................................................... 18
First Impressions..............................................................................................................................18
Conversation Skills..........................................................................................................................19
Humor.............................................................................................................................................. 20
CHAPTER 13...................................................................................................................................... 21
 The Dating Process......................................................................................................................... 21
Phone Numbers................................................................................................................................21
The Perfect Date.............................................................................................................................. 21
CHAPTER 14...................................................................................................................................... 22
Physicality and Sex..........................................................................................................................22
Signals Women Give........................................................................................................................22
When To Go For the Kiss................................................................................................................ 23
CONCLUSION........................................................................................................................................23
What If It Was a Gift?..........................................................................................................................23
PART I: REALITY
CHAPTER 1
Non-Neediness
 A man’s attractiveness is inversely proportional to how needy he is. The less needy he is, the
more attractive he will be to women on average.
 Neediness is when a man places a higher priority on other’s perceptions of him than his own
perception of himself.
 Neediness is a feeling, intuited by women. It is instinctual.
 Narcissistic men, who only care about themselves, will end up in relationships sometimes, but
only with narcissistic and shallow women.
 Developing non-neediness requires one to move their yardstick for success from external goals
(more dates, more sex) to internal goals (better relationships, more emotional fulfillment,
overall happiness).
The Seduction Process
 Status is based on behavior and not simply assets.
 Seduction is the process by which a man induces a woman to become as invested in him as he is
in her.
 There are two ways for seduction to occur, either a man creates the perception that he is far less
invested in a woman than he actually is (neediness disguised as non-neediness), or a man is
actually less invested in a woman (genuine non-neediness).
 The first method is “performance”. The second method is a passive process that permeates
every aspect of his behavior in the long term.
 Learning techniques and pick-up lines without doing genuine, identity-level work in order to
permanently decrease your neediness ends up only being a band-aid solution.
 Take a moment to consider… that before meeting a woman, instead of worrying whether or not
she will like you, you could wonder if you will like her. That instead of feeling the need to
impress her, you could wonder if she impresses you. That instead of sitting there silently
wondering what to say next to make her like you, you could sit there silently wondering what
she will say to make you like her. That instead of waiting around for her to call, you could find
something else to do while she waits for your call. That instead of worrying if you’re tall
enough or good-looking enough or skinny enough, you could decide whether they’re too
superficial to recognize your great qualities. That instead of trying to come up with the perfect
 date, you could decide that a woman who really likes you for you doesn’t need a perfect date.
That instead of looking for a conversation she’ll enjoy, you could talk about something you
enjoy and see if she takes interest. That instead of looking for her approval, you could decide
whether or not to give yours. That instead of getting upset about why she doesn’t want to be
with you, you could decide that it means you probably wouldn’t want to be with her.
 Change yourself to become what you want to be, not what you think women want you to be.
Narcissism and Overcompensation
 Narcissism in a relationship is built on the idea of always being dominant and in control. It is a
nebulous mixture of selfishness, assertiveness, and domination that is achieved not by investing
more in oneself, but by minimizing the importance of others.
 Narcissism is focusing on your own wants and desires to the point of imposing them onto
others.
CHAPTER 2
Power in Vulnerability
 Vulnerability can mean putting yourself in a position where you could be rejected.
 Connecting to women by being vulnerable, as opposed to performance or narcissism, will result
in some of the best interactions and relationships of your life.
 Show your rough edges. Stop trying to be perfect. Expose yourself and share yourself without
inhibition. Take the rejections and lumps and move on because you’re a bigger and stronger
man.
The Pain Period
 When starting a new habit, there is always a “pain period”, the period of greatest resistance and
discomfort. You can’t skip it; the only way out is through it.
 A non-needy man is comfortable showing his flaws because he’s more comfortable with how he
feels about himself than how others feel about him.
 Everything you say must be as authentic as possible. You say it because you mean it and you
mean it because you say it. The more nervous it makes you the better, because it means you’re
being authentic and making yourself vulnerable.
CHAPTER 3
The Gift of Truth
 Regardless of what you say to a woman, the intention and implications of why you were saying
it are far more powerful than the words themselves.
The Truth is Always Shining Through
 Women are quite intuitive when it comes to emotions, motivations, and social cues.
 Vulnerability requires honesty, and honesty only works if it’s given unconditionally, with no
strings attached. Everything you say and do must be done without ulterior motive. You are
simply expressing your thoughts and feelings as they come to you, without inhibition, without
shame.
 A man with an attractive and interesting lifestyle, a man with high standards for himself and the
relationships in his life, will take the time to get to know an attractive woman before soliciting
her with gifts. He will wait until he feels strongly enough to give her a compliment. And if he
talks to her and discovers that there is little that is interesting about her beyond her looks, then
he will lose interest.
 The truth is only the truth when it is given as a gift – when nothing is expected in return. When
you tell a girl she is beautiful, you should say it without expecting anything in return. Whether
she rejects, or falls in love with you, is not important in that moment. What’s important is
expressing your feelings to her in that moment.
 When a compliment comes from a man seeking nothing in return, it’s a gift of truth, a piece of
his vulnerability and infinitely more powerful as a result.
 Beautiful women are complimented often and 99% of these complements are out of neediness.
When a compliment is an honest gift, she recognizes and appreciates a man who genuinely
appreciates her.
 Your intentions are speaking 10 times louder than your actual words. What are your intentions
saying?
Setting Boundaries
 When you’re willing to cut a woman off and tell her when you feel that she’s out of line, when
you’re willing to a tell a woman what you will and will not tolerate in your life, this sub-
communicates the most powerful elements of attraction to her.
 If a beautiful woman says something that a needy man finds offensive, he’ll ignore it, change
the subject, or withhold his true feelings. A non-needy man will tell her what she just said was
offensive. He will simply draw a line in the sand and she will choose to step across it or not.
 If you make it clear from the beginning that you are unwilling to put up with games, then not
only will women you attract stop playing games, but you’ll stop attracting women who do.
  Your ability and willingness to establish boundaries is inversely proportional to how needy you
are.
 In order to form strong boundaries, you need to be particularly aware of your own desires and
emotions.
Finding Your Truth
 It’s important to look at the reasons you’re over-invested around women and have an honest
discussion with yourself about it to try and resolve it.
 Seeking the truth within yourself is a long-term process.
Friction and Projection
 There are two main reasons that prevent attracted women from being with you, and they are
both quite common: friction and projection.
 Friction is when a woman finds you to be an attractive man, but there are value differences or
external circumstances that prevent her from acting on that attraction or being interested in you.
Friction can be religious, cultural, or simply due to poor logistics. There is typically at least a
little bit of friction in any interaction. You’re never going to like 100% of any woman, and no
woman is going to like 100% of you.
 Whether friction prevents a sexual relationship from occurring will depend on the strength of
your boundaries and what your expectations are.
 Projection is when women are untrusting of you and lash out in response. Take the rejection and
move on.
 Due to friction or projection, you are going to be incompatible with most women in the world,
and to hold hopes of being highly compatible with most women is an illusion of grandeur and a
figment of your own narcissistic tendency.
 Our job is not to attract every woman, but to screen for women with a high potential of being
attracted to who we really are.
PART II: STRATEGY
CHAPTER 4
Polarization
 Rejection exists for a reason – it’s a means to keep people apart who are not good for
each other.
The Three Categories of Women
 All the women you’re attracted to can be divided into three categories: Receptive, neutral, and
unreceptive.
 Women who are unreceptive are unavailable or uninterested in having a sexual/romantic
relationship with you. Spotting this is as simple as not reciprocating your signs of interest or
showing signs of disinterest. Men waste a lot of time convincing themselves that unreceptive
women may actually like them. If you really aren’t sure, just ask her out.
 Women who are neutral do not stay in this category. They eventually do polarize to receptive or
unreceptive. If you never advance, they will polarize towards unreceptive (friend zone).
 With neutral women, the jury is still out. The goal is to polarize them with your words and
behaviors. This means flirting or teasing. It may mean asking her on a date. It may be as simple
as smiling from across the room. The goal is to take an action that forces her to decide how she
feels about you.
 Women who are receptive are women who are sexually/romantically attracted to you. You can
recognize this with the following two ways:
1) They initiate with you.
2) They reciprocate your actions enthusiastically.
 There is a subtle difference between a woman who reciprocates your advances and a woman
who is neutral towards your advances. A woman who is neutral will not respond at all. A woman
who is reciprocating will respond positively. Most interested women will reciprocate on small
signals to show that they’re interested in you.
Strategies for Each Category
 The goal with unreceptive women is to identify them and move on as quickly as possible.
They’re time sinks.
 Strongly believe in the idea of “fuck yes” or “fuck no”.
 You must express sexual interest, or you will end up in the friend zone.
 The goal with neutral is get them to stop being neutral as soon as possible. You need to express
your vulnerability and identity freely. If you demonstrate that you’re not only non-needy, but
also frictionless for her, then she will become receptive.
 Many men think they need to behave in a way that makes every single woman like them – as if
women were all the same. This is counterproductive because by altering your behavior to fit
 whatever she wants, it means you are not being vulnerable and, therefore, you are being needy
and unattractive.
 Receptive women are the best because they are the most rewarding interactions with the
smallest amount of effort. The goal is simple – to escalate.
 Women who are receptive to begin with will often stay receptive almost indefinitely.
 The percentage of women who are receptive will increase proportionally to the quality of your
lifestyle, your social status, and your looks. The percentage of people you move from neutral to
receptive will depend on how good your “game” is, or how well you’re able to communicate
and express yourself with women. And your ability to sort through each type of woman and
meet as many as possible will be determined by how fearless and bold you are when it comes to
meeting women.
 Polarizing women into rejecting the real us, the vulnerable and unabashed us – does us a favor
by sorting out which women are going to make us happy.
 You cannot be an attractive and life-changing presence to some women without being a joke or
an embarrassment to others.
Polarizing to Attract
 The simple act of polarization demonstrates non-neediness and will inspire neutral women to
become receptive than other strategies or tactics.
 Surprisingly, a lot of women respond positively to polarization.
CHAPTER 5
Rejection and Success
 Your ability to deal with failure will determine how much you get to deal with success.
 Being rejected by a woman is polarization, and polarizing women is more important than being
pleasant to them.
It’s Usually Not About You
 There is a lot to be said about “the right person at the wrong time.”
 Approach women to see if they fit your values, and not the other way around.
 Instead of thinking “I wonder if she’ll like me?”, think “I wonder what she’s like?”. Instead of
thinking “I hope she doesn’t reject me”, think “I hope I’ll find out if she’s right for me.”
 You either want a “Fuck yes!”, or a no. It’s better to have a no than a “Meh, ok”.
Redefining Success
 Define success in a qualitative way: maximizing happiness with whichever woman/women you
prefer to be with.
 Find relationships that will maximize your happiness.
 There are three ways in which we are honest.
1) Living based on our values (lifestyle)
2) Becoming comfortable with our intentions (boldness)
3) Expressing our sexuality freely (communication)
 Lifestyle, Courage, and Communication are the three fundamentals.
CHAPTER 6
The Three Fundamentals
 The three fundamentals all make a man less needy. Improving each one will improve results,
sometimes drastically. They can be worked on independently, but improving one often benefits
the other two indirectly.
 The three fundamentals once again are
1) Creating an attractive and enriching lifestyle.
2) Overcoming your fears and anxiety around socializing, intimacy, and sexuality.
3) Mastering the expression of your emotions and communicating fluidly.
 The three fundamentals can be referred to as Honest Living, Honest Action, and Honest
Communication.
 Honest Living correlates directly with the quality of women that you will attract.
 Honest Action is overcoming your fear and anxiety around women. If you see a beautiful
woman and want to meet her, to not take action to meet her is a form of being dishonest with
yourself. Honest Action correlates directly to the quantity of women you meet and attract.
 Honest Communication is learning to express yourself freely and effectively. It is
communicating your emotions and intentions freely. This will determine the efficiency with
which you are able to attract women who are compatible to you.
Natural Advantages/Disadvantages
 People tend to have natural strengths/weaknesses in the three fundamentals.
 Identifying the fundamental(s) you need to work on most will the quickest approach to
improving your love life.
Two Types of Men
 Almost all of men who struggle with relationships fall into one of two categories: socially
anxious, or socially disconnected.
 Socially anxious men are too aware of what other people are thinking/feeling and therefore,
have a lot of social anxiety.
 Socially disconnected men are oblivious to what others think/feel.
PART III: HONEST LIVING
CHAPTER 7
Demographics
 Like attracts like. You attract what you are.
 When demographics don’t match up, it causes friction.
 Demographics explain why sometimes you meet women you just “click” with, and why, and
more often than not, you meet those women in situations where you’re having fun and doing
what you love.
Lifestyle Choices
 Focus your time and energy on meeting women in situations where they are likely to share your
values, interests, and needs.
 Sit down and decide what you value in a woman. What do you value most? Prioritizing will
help you decide where to look.
 If there is a large demographic mismatch between you and a woman, friction will be incredibly
high, and no matter how attractive you are, she will not be able to connect with you.
Beliefs and Self-Selection
 Our beliefs are reflected in our behavior, and behavior determines which (and how many)
women are attracted to us.
 The only thing that all the women you date have in common is you.
 Being a non-needy man requires a high level of honesty with yourself.
 People tend to conform to what we expect of them.
Age, Money, and Looks
 Age, money, and looks matter – in some cases a lot, and in some cases not a lot, but they do
matter. Typically, they don’t matter as much as most men think.
 Studies have shown that women judge a man’s status far less on actual physical dimensions, and
more on style, grooming, and how men present themselves.
  Money/success matters more depending on your age. The older you are, the more successful
you’ll be expected to be.
 You should be as good looking and financially successful as possible for you.
 The more money/looks/success you have, the less attractive behavior you need. The less
money/looks/success you have, the more attractive behavior you need.
 Status is all relative. The key is to:
1) Recognize your personal interests and strengths.
2) Build upon those personal interests and strengths to quickly attract women in your
preferred demographic.
Social Proof
 When we see many other people valuing something, we will unconsciously value it ourselves.
 If you are that man who walks into a room and everybody stops what they are doing to talk to
you, then the women in the room are more likely to perceive you as high status and be attracted
to you.
 Social proof only works within a demographic itself, so you want to cultivate your connections
and put yourself into as big of a leadership position as possible.
 Don’t just pursue your interests, become a leader in your interests. Don’t just choose a
demographic of women to meet, dominate the demographic.
Being Something Versus Saying Something
 You can say the most attractive sentence in the world, but if it isn’t backed up by who you are,
then it’s not going to have any meaning.
 If you are something amazing, then anything you say will be attractive because it will be
coming from a genuinely attractive man.
CHAPTER 8
Lifestyle and Presentation
 Not everybody is born good-looking. But any man, with some time and effort, can become
attractive. And in the end, what women want is a man who is attractive.
 Your outward appearance reflects your self-investment (or lack thereof). And your level of self-
investment will make you less needy towards others, therefore making your behavior more
attractive. If you don’t put a lot of time and effort into how you look and how you present
yourself to the world, women look at that and make unconscious assumptions about your status
as a man.
  The first and obvious step involves grooming and general maintenance.
Fashion and Fitness
 Being in decent shape and dressing well will make every phase of the process easier and
smoother, from meeting women, to attracting them, to getting physical with them, to dating
them, to staying in a relationship with them.
 There are a few rules to dressing well:
1) Wear clothes that fit.
2) Wear clothes that match.
3) Dress to your personality.
 Exercise is non-negotiable. It makes you look good, boosts your energy, raises testosterone,
relieves symptoms of depression and anxiety, and generally makes you feel better about
yourself.
 Improve your diet, cut out sodas, fast food, desserts, and candy.
 Nutrition goes beyond making you look sexy. It makes you feel better, gives you higher energy,
makes your sex better, increases your moods, and can even save you a lot of money.
Body Language
 Remember: shoulders back, chin up, eyes straight, feet straight, shoulders swagger, arms swing.
Always look straight ahead. Don’t ever look down at the ground unless you think you’re about
to trip. Look people in the eye as they walk by — particularly attractive girls.
 Always make other people break eye contact with you before you break it with them.
Vocal Tonality
 It’s not just having a sexy voice that’s important; it’s having an expressive and a loud voice.
 If people are constantly asking you to repeat yourself, and it’s not loud in the room, you may
speak too quickly.
 Not only do better body language and vocal projection engage other people more effectively,
but good body language has also been shown to affect your moods positively.
Developing Character
 An attractive man with depth and character is a man who has opinions and openly expresses
those opinions.
 When it comes to deciding what one likes and doesn’t like, most men have very lukewarm
reactions one way or the other.
 Here are some concepts to keep in mind as you go through your life experiencing art and media:
 1) Assume everything has a form of value; it’s your job to find it.
2) When expanding your horizons; start with what’s generally considered the best.
 Being a well-rounded individual with opinions will expand your demographics by quite a bit.
 “You read literature because you can never meet enough people.”
Bringing It All Together
 Poor lifestyle choices reflect a lack of investment in yourself, which in turn causes you
to be less confident around others for validation.
 Get your life taken care of. Get healthy. Find a happy group of friends. Find a few
hobbies that you love. Develop opinions. Start caring about what you spend your time
doing. This increases your self-investment and will make you less needy around others.
This, in turn, will give you the courage to take the correct action and the wherewithal to
communicate effectively. This is honest living.
PART IV: HONEST ACTION
CHAPTER 9
What Are Your Stories?
 We all have our own weak spots, and those weaknesses each have their own form of
resistance to the change we want.
 What stories do you tell yourself? Because until you’re aware of your stories, you’re not
going to be able to change your behavior.
 The only important "skill" in dating is learning how to stop buying into your own
bullshit, to stop believing your own stories. You’ll have to flex your mental and
emotional muscles, and build up your body of self-awareness, but here’s the good news:
those are the muscles chicks actually dig.
Defense Mechanisms
 Many of us have fear and shame bundled up in our sexuality. These anxieties are
manifestations of neediness and an unwillingness to be vulnerable.
 The sad fact about anxiety is that once you have it, it’s there and figuring out why it’s
there doesn’t help you much. You can either avoid it the rest of your life, or do
something about it.
 When we are confronted with our fears or anxieties, we have a pattern or strategy that
we usually use to deal with them. Here are some of the common patterns:
  Blame Game: When confronted with something he fears, a man blames
something/someone else for his fear. This often comes with anger and frustration.
The anger can pile up and lead to some bitter and irrational beliefs about women.
 Apathy/Avoidance: A man convinces himself that he doesn’t care, and that it
doesn’t matter if the girls he likes don’t find him attractive.
 Intellectualizing: Instead of doing something, you look up an answer that you can
study. There comes a certain point where learning more about a subject is no
longer beneficial and on the contrary, is just going to get you more mixed up and
confused, since you have no experience to actually apply your knowledge to.
 These patterns aim to avoid the fear and they usually do it by convincing themselves of
something that’s not necessarily true.
You Are Not a Victim
 “If it’s a question of me being screwed up or masses of people being screwed up in the
same way, then it’s far more likely that it’s just me being screwed up.”
 Men make negative assumptions and stereotypes about millions of women for no other
reason than to shirk responsibility for their own shortcomings. This is a victim mentality.
 I believe strongly in taking responsibility for everything that happens to you in your life.
Our minds are always looking for ways to avoid pain and failure and rejection, and so
they constantly churn out rationalizations to keep us impeccable; it’s them who fucked
up, not us. We're fine. We did everything right. It's that fucked up world's fault we're not
happy. Blame is yet another form of neediness. As long as it’s their fault you don’t have
to make yourself vulnerable.
 Challenge yourself to find the good and beautiful thing inside of everyone. It’s there. It’s
your job to find it. Not their job to show you.
Sexual Motivation
 Porn harms your motivation to pursue women in real life. End all pornography
immediately. Starting today. Delete everything from your computer.
 Limit masturbation to once a week. Schedule it. When you masturbate, you’re only
allowed to fantasize about women you’ve met and have not had sex with.
 When you masturbate, use lotion or lube. Do it slower than usual. Drag it out longer than
10 minutes if you can.
CHAPTER 10
How to Overcome Anxiety
 Extremely few people in this world enjoy being an asshole or hurting someone else’s
feelings.
 Why do women spend so much time and effort on their appearance? Why do they go to
singles’ bars and join dating sites and give blind dates a try? They don’t do it so that they
can revel in rejecting a bunch of guys. They’re just as lonely and frustrated as we are.
They want to meet a man. But not just any man, a great man. A man who is confident,
charming, fun, and interesting. A man who is non-needy, who is vulnerable, and who
will honestly express himself to her.
 She wants you to be that man. She’s secretly rooting for you. She doesn’t want to reject
you.
 The next time you make your move, when she sees you coming — and trust me, she
usually sees you coming — know that she’s already rooting for you.
The Guide to Overcoming Your Anxiety
 Fear is normal. Everyone has it in some form, and it's not going away anytime soon. The
trick isn't to eliminate it; it's simply to train yourself to behave despite it.
 The proper way to handle your fear and your anxiety is to accept it, recognize that it’s
normal and a part of who you are, and to not even try to hide it from the woman you’re
meeting.
 If you can have a conversation with a friend or family member, then you already possess
the only “skill-set” required in attracting a woman. There’s nothing to learn, only things
to do. And the fear doesn’t go away, you learn to hone it to help you.
 A lot of people assume non-neediness means being fearless. But non-neediness simply
means to feel the fear and not let it define you. Non-neediness is feeling the fear and
deciding that something else is more important.
 The way to attack anxieties is through incremental, consistent exposure. Not single,
extreme exposure.
Courage and Boldness
 Feeling fear and acting despite it builds courage.
 The more courage you build, the more you’ll be capable of bold actions. Bold actions
require a lot of vulnerability and build non-neediness.
  You must know that you’re interrupting social norms. You must acknowledge that what
you are doing is unusual. If you don’t, you’ll be seen as someone who is out of touch
and oblivious, which is not attractive.
 Greater boldness leads to greater polarization. Always err on the side of assertiveness.
PART V: HONEST COMMUNICATION
CHAPTER 11
Your Intentions
 What is your intention? Are you trying to impress her (needy) and therefore bragging?
Or are you sharing yourself (vulnerability) and therefore polarizing her?
 Women are more in-tune to intentions than men.
 A man who is extremely needy will have intentions dominated by seeking validation and
approval and will therefore be unattractive regardless of just about anything he says. A
man who is non-needy will have intentions dominated by vulnerability and will
therefore be attractive regardless of what he says.
 Remember, women don’t see your features, they see how you present yourself. They
don’t hear your words, they hear your intentions.
Creepiness
 There’s no such thing as a man who is adored by women who isn’t also creepy some of
the time.
 Creepiness is behaving in a way that makes a woman feel insecure sexually.
 The more comfortable you are with women finding you creepy, and the more uninhibited
and vulnerable your actions and words are around women, and the more aware and
respectful you are of their interests and desires, the less likely they will be to find you
creepy.
Sexual Tension
 Flirting is expressing your sexuality to a woman in a way that makes her feel secure
expressing her sexuality back towards you.
 Two methods of flirting: teasing and boldness.
 If a man begins to flirt with a woman by teasing her, then suddenly he adds a new
dimension by creating uncertainty: Does he like me or not? Why is he flirting with me?
But if a man goes the bold and vulnerable route, and is willing to risk rejection, he is
rewarded by creating massive amounts of sexual tension, because in a single stroke you
 have transported the context away from, “What do we talk about next?” to “What will he
say or do with me next?” This is extremely powerful.
Developing an Emotional Connection
 Your ability to connect with a woman emotionally is proportional to how self-aware you
are of your own emotional processes and motivations.
 The blueprint of seduction: a strong, high status, attractive exterior (lifestyle and looks),
fearless, and able to open up and share your vulnerable side with her.
 When you connect with women emotionally, they really open up to you in ways that you
can’t imagine, your interactions and relationships with them become these rich and
unique experiences that can never be replicated, the sex is far better, and all mind games,
flakes and ambivalence goes out the window.
 Feeling slutty is about sleeping with a man who doesn't care about her or who hasn’t
connected with her. If she doesn't trust you or isn't 100% convinced that you really like
her and care about her, then she's not going to do it. And if she does, then she’ll regret it
and feel dirty.
 Basic pattern for making stronger emotional connections.
1) Becoming aware of your own emotions, motivations, and life story.
2) Taking the lead by sharing those emotions, motivations, and life story first.
3) Sharing first creates trust and encourages her to open up and share herself in return.
4) Ideally, the more this goes on, the more personal the stories become and the deeper the
emotions are by which you connect.
 The most important rule of emotional connection is to relate to feelings, not facts.
Seduction is about feelings, not facts.
Building and Breaking Habits
 Your communication skills are a series of overlapping habits.
 Habits are hard to break. They take time. And you have to do them repeatedly to
break/build them.
CHAPTER 12
How to Improve Your Flirting
 Communication is always up for interpretation.
  Misunderstandings and miscommunications are unavoidable. No matter how clear and
how charming you are there are always going to be women who misinterpret what you
say to them as well as your intentions.
 The better our communication skills, the more clearly we can express ourselves and
show sexual interest. The more clearly we express ourselves and show sexual interest,
the more likely we’ll be able to connect with women in a sexual and emotional way.
First Impressions
 First impressions are crucial.
 The biggest misconception about first impressions is being overly concerned with what
to say to a woman when you meet her.
 The exact words you say are far less important than your intentions and level of anxiety.
 Do not startle or scare her when you approach her.
 When in doubt on how to approach a woman, simply walk up and introduce yourself and
explain to her that you wanted to meet her.
 The fancier and more creative guys try to get with their opening lines, the more likely
they are to a) say something weird and b) come off as needy.
 Don’t linger. If you linger and hover around her, it’s almost guaranteed to make the
approach feel awkward and forced. Imagine a straight line between you and her, and
when you’re ready to go, follow that straight line until you’re standing right in front of
her.
 Smile. Always smile. A comfortable smile. Lean back. Stand up tall. Speak loudly yet
clearly. Make strong eye contact. Introduce yourself and stick out your hand. Give a firm
handshake. This is called being a confident human being.
 Some reasons you might getting quick rejections on initial approaches:
1) You’re presenting yourself poorly — i.e., you dress poorly, bad looks, bad style, bad
body language.
2) Your intentions are off.
3) You’re not following one of the guidelines above. You’re startling her. You’re trying too
hard to be clever or interesting. Or you’re doing something technically wrong (not
looking her in the eye, not smiling, etc.)
Conversation Skills
 Use effective language. Say what you mean with the fewest words possible while still
maintaining your meaning and intent.
 Remove “um,” “uh,” “ah,” “like,” “you know,” and other fillers from your everyday
speaking.
 Create conversation threads through statements rather than questions.
 It’s better to be random and interesting than predictable and boring. Don’t be afraid to
just blurt something out.
 This works because unlike questions, statements require no investment from the other
person. You can say whatever you want and there’s no implicit expectation for her to
generate conversation as well.
 Use conversation threading to have endless conversation topics.
 Conversations end when one person says something and the other person has no jump-
off points. Teach yourself to recognize jump-off points.
 Combine this skill with the ability to cold read and create conversational threads out of
thin air by making statements, and you will literally develop the skill to begin and
control any conversation with anybody for any length of time.
 Work on storytelling by focusing on set-up, conflict, and resolution.
 There are only two real subjects of conversation: her and you. Everything you speak
about should be, in some way, revealing your identity to her or her identity to you.
 This uncovering of identity is what creates the sense of a “connection.” The greater the
connection you create, the more she’ll want to spend time with you and vice-versa.
Making a connection requires three steps:
1) being open about yourself.
2) getting her to be open about herself.
3) relating to each other’s experiences.
 Be willing to share any part of yourself to anyone at any time and on any level. You have
nothing to lose by sharing yourself. At the worst, she’ll reject you and, well, she’s going
to reject you if all you do is talk about sports and your job anyway, so what’s the
problem?
 What you’ll find is when you share something deeper and personal about yourself, it will
be genuine, and she’ll immediately respond to that by being genuine herself.
Humor
 A man who can laugh easily at the world and who isn’t afraid to laugh at himself
conveys a sense of non-neediness. He also makes women feel good around him and,
therefore, more secure.
 Humor is not a cure-all for your problems with attracting and seducing women. Some
naturally funny men overly rely on their ability to make a girl laugh and actually overdo
it. Instead of being attractive and strong men, they become entertainers constantly
seeking attention and validation. The worst part about this habit is that it all happens
while making the woman laugh and making her enjoy your company. So a lot of men get
confused and actually think that they’re seducing her.
 Humor is only useful if used in conjunction with leading her in a dominant manner and
pushing things physically with her.
CHAPTER 13
The Dating Process
 The dating process usually follows the order of: trading of contact details, talking
through text or phone conversations, going on dates, sex, and figuring out what kind of
relationship (if any) will result.
Phone Numbers
 The way to prevent flakes is to meet and attract women who are so interested in you that
they would never consider flaking.
 Men spend way too much time obsessing over unimportant details like how many times
to text each day, how soon to call her, when to ask her out, etc.
 Setting rigid rules such as “wait three days to ask her out” or “never text her twice in a
row,” greatly limits you and will hinder the unique connection you spent your time
developing with the woman.
 Only ask a woman for her phone number if she seems genuinely attracted and interested
in you. Only ask for her number if you can see yourself wanting to hang out with her
again or having time to hang out with her again.
 Just ask her for her number. If you’re attracted to her, you shouldn’t be afraid to hide it.
If she’s attracted to you, she’ll be more than excited to give it to you.
 Flakes happen to everybody. Get used to it. There are simply too many things going on
in most attractive women’s lives to figure out why each one flakes.
The Perfect Date
 Save dates for the nighttime. It builds a greater sense of expectation. There’s more
flexibility to spend more time together. It’s more of a commitment. And neither of you
are in a rush to be anywhere in an hour. It also leaves the option open for you or her
sleeping over.
 Avoid movie dates and dinner dates. Good date locations are locations that are active,
participatory, and allow for touching and flirting. Alcohol can be helpful as well if that’s
your style.
 The underlying concept to have on a date is that you should try to constantly be leading.
Every decision should be yours and she should be expected to follow it.
 Your conversations should be getting deeper and more personal. There should be less
teasing and playful banter and more conversations about your lives and what’s important
to you. Learn about her past, her passions, her dreams, what her favorite things are.
CHAPTER 14
Physicality and Sex
 Women are turned on by being wanted, by being desired.
 Sexuality, in the end, is all about movement and our bodies entwining themselves.
Everything else is kind of just a means to reach that point.
 Getting physical with women, and getting physical quickly and comfortably, is
ultimately the difference between having a lot of female friends, and having a lot of
girlfriends and dates.
 Being physical with women is by far the most integral piece of seduction and dating
women. If you have it, you will constantly have options. If you don’t, you will spend a
lot of time alone.
 As you having a conversation with her, assuming she is Receptive, just lightly touch her
on the arm, near the elbow.
 The best way to touch is to integrate physicality into your conversation.
Signals Women Give
 In courtship, it’s always the man’s responsibility to take action and make the moves, and
the woman’s responsibility to give him signals.
 Pre-approach, some common signals are:
  Non-accidental eye contact. If she is looking at you 10% more than the average
stranger.
 Smiling at you.
 She approaches you. Even if it is just to ask for the time/directions.
 Proximity. A woman places herself subtly near you on purpose.
 Conversational Signals:
 Excessive smiling/laughing/eye contact.
 Flipping or playing with her hair.
 Her eyes dilate.
 She stands closer to you than normal.
 Prioritizes you. She subtly shows that she prioritizes interacting with you over
interacting with others.
 Escalation Signals:
 She isolates herself with you, or ditches her friends for you.
 She touches you.
When To Go For the Kiss
 In general it is safe to assume that any time you think you can kiss her you probably can.
It’s much better to try and kiss her and get rejected than to go the whole night without
making a move and never knowing what would have been.
 Many women don’t like to kiss in public, so it is better to be alone.
CONCLUSION
What If It Was a Gift?
 Whatever happens to you, no matter how bad, no matter how bleak you feel, ask
yourself, “What if it was a gift?” and then try to rationalize a way it could be so.