Caperucita Roja / James Finn Garner

Once upon a time there was a young person named Little Red Riding Hood who lived with her mother.
on the edge of a forest. One day, her mother asked her to take a basket with fresh fruit and
mineral water to his grandmother's house, but not because he considered it a task of his own.
women, attention, but because it represented a generous act that contributed to strengthening
the feeling of community. Moreover, her grandmother was not ill; rather, she was enjoying
complete physical and mental health and was perfectly able to take care of herself as
an adult and mature person that she was.

Thus, Little Red Riding Hood took her basket and set off on the path through the forest. Many
people believed that the forest was a sinister and dangerous place, so they never
they ventured into it. Little Red Riding Hood, on the other hand, had enough confidence in her
incipient sexuality in order to avoid feeling intimidated by such obviously
Freudian.

On her way to her grandmother's house, Little Red Riding Hood was approached by a wolf who
she asked what was in the basket.

An unhealthy snack for my grandmother who is undoubtedly perfectly capable of

to take care of herself as the adult and mature person she is - she replied.

I don't know if you know, dear -said the wolf-, that it is dangerous for a little girl to wander alone.
these forests.

Little Red Riding Hood replied:

I find that observation sexist and extremely insulting, but I will disregard it.
due to your traditional condition of social outcast and the existential perspective -in your
case valid both personally and globally - that the anguish that such a condition produces in you has led you
to develop. And now, if you'll excuse me, I must continue on my way.

Little Red Riding Hood headed down the path again. But the wolf, freed by his condition of
social segregation of that slave dependence on linear thinking so typical of
West, he knew a quicker route to get to grandmother's house. After breaking in
suddenly, he devoured the old woman, thereby adopting a line of behavior.
completely valid for any carnivore. Next, immune to the rigid
traditional notions of masculinity and femininity, put on the grandmother's nightgown and
snuggled in the bed.

Little Red Riding Hood entered the cabin and said:

Grandma, I brought you some low-calorie and low-sodium snacks in appreciation for your...
role of wise and generous matriarch.

-Come closer, creature, so I can see you -the wolf said softly from the bed.

-Oh! -replied Little Red Riding Hood-. I had forgotten that visually you are as limited as a mole.
But, grandma, what big eyes you have!

They have seen a lot and forgiven a lot, dear.

-Y, grandma, what a big nose you have!... relatively speaking, of course, and in your own way.
undoubtedly attractive.

She has smelled a lot and has forgiven a lot, dear.

-Y... grandma, what big teeth you have!

The wolf replied:

-I am happy to be who I am and what I am -and, jumping out of bed, she grabbed Little Red Riding Hood
with its claws, ready to devour her.

Little Red Riding Hood screamed; not as a result of the wolf's apparent tendency towards cross-dressing,
but for the deliberate invasion he had made of his personal space.

Their screams reached the ears of a worker in the lumber industry (or technician in
plant-based fuels, as he preferred to consider himself) who passed by there. Upon entering
in the cabin, he noticed the commotion and tried to intervene. But he had barely raised his axe
when both the wolf and Little Red Riding Hood stopped simultaneously.

-Can it be known exactly what you think you are doing? -inquired Little Red Riding Hood.

The lumber worker blinked and tried to respond, but the words would not come to him.
lips.

-Does he think he can burst in here like any Neanderthal and delegate his
capacity for reflection in the weapon she carries with her! -continued Little Red Riding Hood-. Sexist!
Racist! How dare you assume that women and wolves are not capable of
resolve their own differences without the help of a man?
Upon hearing Little Red Riding Hood's passionate speech, the grandmother jumped out of the wolf's belly, snatched the
hewing the lumberjack and cut off his head. Once the odyssey was over, Little Red Riding Hood, the grandmother
and the wolf believed they experienced some affinity in their goals, they decided to establish a
an alternative form of community based on cooperation and mutual respect and together
they lived happily in the forests forever.

A Tale of an Old Woman - Sergio Fernández

Once upon a time there was a beautiful little girl who was called Little Red Riding Hood because her mother gave her
she had made a hood of that same color. One day her mother sent her with a little basket with
groceries to grandmother's house, since she was sick. Little Red Riding Hood began to walk through the
forest and along the way she met the fierce wolf. He asked her where she was going and the girl told him
he explained. The wolf, as hungry as he was, managed to say that he also wanted
visit grandma, to find out where she lived and to send the little one by the easiest path
long and throw him by the shortest. When he got to the house, he pretended to be Little Red Riding Hood so that the
grandmother will let her through, and as soon as she entered, she devoured the poor woman. Then she put on her clothes and
he got into bed. After a while, Little Red Riding Hood arrived, and the wolf, distorting his voice, made her come in.
After having an absurd conversation, he ate the girl...

Liar! That's more false than Michael Jackson's marriage! This is what really
happened

I was coming back from my sexual encounter with my yoga teacher when I passed by the house.
from my daughter. I decided to pay her a visit; but before I could knock on the door, I heard voices coming out.
through an open window:

- Your crazy old grandmother isn't kicking the bucket! That dirty old woman has iron health...
The unmistakable voice of my daughter said.

- Damn! Well, I want to collect the inheritance already! - My granddaughter replied.

- I have a plan. Do you know what we are going to do? We are going to poison grandma.

- What are you going to do? Cook for her?

- No, idiot. We're going to put rat poison in these little honey cakes.

And with horror I saw how my own daughter, my only daughter, was pouring poison into a delicacy that
I should probably eat later. Indeed, after that my daughter said to Little Red Riding Hood.
that he took the pastries to my house. He put them in a basket and gave them to me.

- Yo no quiero ir sola por el bosque.- dijo la niña.

- Why? - My daughter asked.

Because I am too sexy and if the wolf sees me, it will do bad things to me.

It's okay. I will accompany you.

And before the two traitors left the house, I ran at full speed (for something
I had been the athletics champion in 1849) on my way home. Along the way, in the
In the forest, I ran into my friend the Big Bad Wolf and I said:

If you see a woman walking around here with a girl, throw a stone at both of them.

The wolf nodded and I continued on my way. As soon as I got home, I got into bed. After a while
They knocked at the door and I told the visitor to come in. I don't know why, but only my granddaughter came.
She came to kiss me, the very hypocrite, and sat down next to me. As always when she came to see me, I ...
asked stupid questions: - How are you?; Did you see Sex and the City the other day?, etc. At
to end the conversation, the moment I feared the most has arrived. My granddaughter said to me:

- Grandma, I brought you these cookies with honey. Take one. - She picked one and offered it to me.
So I exploded and told him:

- Your mother is going to eat them while riding a bike!

And I jumped out of bed and grabbed her by the neck. Amidst so many screams and banging, someone hit her.
A kick to my door, it opened, and I saw that the one who came in was carrying a shotgun: he was a hunter.

What's going on here?!

- I don't want weapons in this house! - I shouted.

And I lunged at him and snatched away the shotgun. At that moment, the wolf arrived at my house and said:

- I've already got the mother offside, but the girl has...!- He fell silent abruptly upon seeing
to my granddaughter.

My granddaughter looked at me and I put on a dignified face. I was already fed up with that situation.
I shot into the air and said:

- Come on, everyone out of this house except for the wolf!

And the two elements lacked space to run away.

This is the true story.

You might be interested to know that with my savings (money that neither my daughter nor my granddaughter will ever see),
I bought a mansion in Miami next to Julio Iglesias's, and now I am
drinking a mojito next to my big pool with my husband, the wolf.

By the way, I don't know what my husband did to my daughter (because every time I ask him about it
He pretends to be clueless), but I know that since then my daughter has become afraid of going to the zoo.

La Caperucita Roja, un gran peligro -Carla Domínguez Sanabre

Once upon a time, there was a she-wolf who took care of her wolf cubs.
It was time to sleep, but the little ones were excited and refused to go to bed without having
heard before a story like those that grandma wolf used to tell many times. But this
time, the story would be special, for it was real, it was an experience lived by an ancestor, a
great-uncle of the grandmother.

The wolf cubs, very happy to know that what they were about to hear was something so exciting, went
obedient and settled in their little beds.

-Come on, grandma! We're already in bed! -The little ones exclaimed impatiently.

"Calm down, my little ones," the grandmother reassured them with her endearing voice, "it will be ready soon."
I will tell. Let's see - she says while sitting in her armchair - this story happened a long time ago.
time and tell how dangerous the little red riding hoods are, a kind of human being to whom
they frighten a large part of the animals in the forest, as they harass the deer and the owls (to
the animal they chase the most is the wolf), they kidnap wolf cubs and squirrels... And when some animal
has disappeared (kidnapped by one of them), he is never heard from again. He
rumors say that they take them to their homes and eat them accompanied with blueberry sauce or
soaked in milk; sometimes, they keep them in honey jars, to eat them later.
a time.

-But, grandma, weren't we dangerous for the little red riding hoods?-asked one of the
small.

It's true, according to a story we heard the other day in the square, we feed ourselves.
about little red riding hoods (sometimes, also about their grandmothers) when we are adults.- assured another
wolverine.

Oh, my little ones, what you have heard is a story that has become famous.
around the world. But that's a story made up by a group of little red riding hoods from
the village next door, to hide their true identity from the rest of the people and also to
to give us a reputation of being cruel, bloodthirsty, and dangerous.
The true story is the one I'm telling you, which is the same one you heard in the square.
but the other way around. That is to say, a Little Red Riding Hood pretended to be lost and my great-uncle, a wolf
very noble, wanted to help her find her way back home where, in reality,
Little Red Riding Hood's grandmother was waiting, preparing a pot of vegetable broth to eat.
When they tried to force the great-uncle to get into the pot, there was a great revolution and all
the house was left wrecked inside due to the struggle with the two women. Taking advantage
the conditions in which the house had been left when the great-uncle managed to escape and arrived
the hunter, Little Red Riding Hood, and her grandmother pretended to be the victims. So the hunter chased
to the wolf and hurt him. Poor thing...

But do not be frightened, little ones, for he survived. Although you must be careful and cautious.
so that something similar never happens to you.

The most important thing to scare away the little red riding hoods is:

Wearing something red.

Carry a bouquet of lavender.

Don't bring cake for snack (they love it!).

-And the main thing, since they recognize us by the ears, wear a cap or a little hat. We must !!
Stay away from the little red riding hoods!!