Title: The French-English Friendship
🎭 Title: Bonjour! or… What Did You Just Say?!
Characters (Puppets)
1. English Eddie – A loud, proud, slightly confused English-speaking puppet (wears a tie or
bowler hat).
2. French François – A fancy French puppet with a beret, scarf, and a pretend mustache.
3. Miss Grammar – The teacher who’s trying (and failing) to keep them both calm.
4. Student Sam – A funny student puppet who reacts from the audience side.
Scene 1: The Classroom Mix-Up
(Miss Grammar rings a bell)
Miss Grammar: Bonjour, class!
English Eddie: (jumps up) Bon… jaw? What’s wrong with your jaw, Miss? Need a dentist?
(Audience giggles)
French François: Oh là là! She said Bonjour! It means Good morning!
English Eddie: Oh, I see! (waves dramatically) BON-JAW, Miss! BON-JAW!
French François: (groans) Non, non! It’s Bon-joooor!
English Eddie: (grins) Bon-jooor, zooooor, dinosaur!
Student Sam: (laughs) Sounds like a Pokémon!
Miss Grammar: (sighs) Oh dear… we’re off to a great start.
Scene 2: Greetings Gone Wild
Miss Grammar: Let’s learn some French greetings. François, you go first.
French François: Enchanté! That means “Nice to meet you.”
English Eddie: (bows deeply) In-chocolate! Nice to eat you!
French François: (gasps) You eat people in English?!
English Eddie: Only if they steal my chips!
(Audience bursts out laughing)
Miss Grammar: Eddie! It’s meet you, not eat you!
English Eddie: Oops, sorry! My stomach speaks better than my tongue.
Scene 3: The Word Fight
French François: (puffs chest) French words are so beautiful! Listen: Je t’aime!
English Eddie: (confused) Jet aim? Is that something pilots say when they fly planes? “Jet, aim, and
zoom!”
French François: (giggles) Non, non! It means something nice—like “You’re my good friend!”
English Eddie: (grinning) Ohhh! You could’ve just said that! English is easy—no “jet engines”
needed!
Student Sam: (laughing) Yeah! In English we say “You’re cool,” not “Je t’aime jet aim boom
boom!
French François: (pretends to be offended) Mais non! French sounds fancy! Try saying baguette!
English Eddie: (overdoes it) Bag-get! Bag-gut! Bag-gone!
Student Sam: (laughing hard) That sounds like a tongue twister, not a sandwich!
Miss Grammar: (laughing too) All right, all right! Let’s calm our “baguettes.” Both languages are
fun—no need to start a food fight!
French François: Très bien! (claps) That means “Very good!”
English Eddie: (smiles) “Very good” indeed! But I still prefer “very good pizza!”
(Everyone laughs as the bell rings and they pretend to pack their books.)
Scene 4: The Ultimate Test
Miss Grammar: Okay, now both of you must use both languages in one sentence.
French François: Easy! “Bonjour, my friend!”
English Eddie: “Hello, my croissant!”
French François: (dramatic gasp) Croissant?! I’m not a pastry!
English Eddie: (shrugs) You look like one with that curly mustache!
(Audience laughs loudly)
French François: (offended) Mon dieu! That’s “Oh my God!” in French!
English Eddie: “Oh my God” we already have that in English! You copied us!
Miss Grammar: (facepalms) Children, languages share words! They’re friends!
Scene 5: The Funny Farewell
Miss Grammar: Let’s all say goodbye — in both languages!
French François: Au revoir!
English Eddie: Over war?! What war?!
French François: (laughing) Non! Au revoir! It means “Goodbye!”
English Eddie: (waves) Okay then, “Over war, everyone!”
Student Sam: (pretends to salute) Goodbye, Captain Confusion!
Miss Grammar: (laughing) Let’s just say… Bye-bye and Au revoir!
English Eddie & French François: (together, loudly) Bye-bye, croissants!
(Everyone cracks up as they wave wildly to the audience.)
🎵 Optional Funny Closing Song (to “If You’re Happy and You Know It”)
🎶
If you’re French and you know it, say “Bonjour!”
If you’re English and you know it, say “Hello!”
If you mix them up together,
You’ll sound twice as cool and clever,
If you’re learning both, then shout “Let’s go!” 🎶