GAZİ UNIVERSITY

COLLEGE OF FOREIGN LANGUAGES

2023-2024 SPRING TERM – WEEK 1
TEXT 2
DO MEN AND WOMEN SPEAK THE SAME LANGUAGE?
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Do men and women understand the same things from the spoken word? Judging by the misinterpretation,
misunderstanding and general mystification that can arise from a single simple sentence, there are grave
reasons for doubt. In fact, I would put it even stronger. Do we even speak the same language?
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First-and contrary to the general impression-men use language more. "Like everyone else, I used to believe
that women were the talkative sex," says Dale Spender, a sociolinguist. "But when I analyzed the results of
over one hundred and forty recorded conversations between men and women, the result was quite the
opposite. Whether we're talking about social gatherings or business meetings, one element never changes: in
any conversation with a man, a woman who talks more than a third of the time is seen as talking too much."
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Nowhere is this more obvious than on radio or 1V talk shows. One host, Robert Robinson, once said, "it's
difficult to find the right kind of woman to participate in my program. Most of them can't stand up to me and
so stay silent. They also find interrupting a bit tricky." On one occasion, a well-known female thinker
became so cross and unhappy at being what she regarded as "shouted down" that she remained silent for the
last fifteen minutes of the program. Even those women who are perfectly capable of holding their own are
notably less talkative than their male counterparts.
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Another female characteristic is the belief that conversation should be a reciprocal exchange rather than an
attempt to dominate the other person. According to sociologist Jennifer Coates, when a woman in a group
raises a topic, the others will encourage, sympathize or elaborate. The next female speaker may enlarge on
some point, add a personal anecdote, or simply make 'Go on' interjections. But one thing she won't do is
flatly contradict the previous speaker and abruptly change the subject. But men in a group with women often
get tired with what they see as the slow build-up of a topic." The tried and tested method of avoiding this
hazard is doing what most women hate: interrupting.
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"The effect constant interruption has on women is that they become silent," says Dr. Coates. It isn't solely
that men regard conversation as a contest; there is also a clash of styles. "We all think we know what a
question is. But with men and women it triggers different reactions. Men think questions are requests for
information, whereas women think they are part of the way in which a co-operative conversation works. If a
woman asks a man a question, she's trying to keep the conversation going, while the man thinks this is a
request for information, so he gives her a lecture." In social situations, this different view of the polite
inquiry can often cause bad feelings. The woman thinks, 'What is he on about? I didn't want a run-down on
company accountancy,' and the man thinks, 'Why is she looking so cross? If she didn't want to know, why
did she ask?'"
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Although women have much greater sensitivity to what the other person is feeling, it is equally true that, in
situations where power is concerned, the male cut-and-thrust style is the norm. "Male language allows them
to have clear goals, stick to decisions, answer directly and assert themselves," says Natasha Josefowitz,
author of Paths to Power. "Women say 'I think I can', where men say, 'I can'. And though the woman may be
right -who knows if she can carry out a particular task until she is doing it? - what employers go for is
confidence." In female conversation, this general tentativeness emerges in the use of 'soft' phrases such as 'I
wonder if I might ...?', and 'Perhaps this isn't the moment to disturb you but ... ' instead of the simpler
expressions 'Please may I...?' or 'Can I come in?'.
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 GAZİ UNIVERSITY
COLLEGE OF FOREIGN LANGUAGES
2023-2024 SPRING TERM – WEEK 1
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Dr. Coates believes female politeness involves other factors as well. "Partly it is a recognition that other
people may not be imposed on. If I go next door, I say, 'I hope you don't mind, but could you possibly lend
me a pint of milk, please?' not 'Can I have some milk?', which allows my neighbor the freedom to say 'Yes,
of course' or 'I'm sorry, I haven't got any.' What it is doing is giving the other person a chance to get out of an
obligation without losing face. Partly, too, it is a question of giving what Dr. Coates calls 'positive face',
which means reassuring others about their own value.
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The reason for such discrepancies is something that frequently makes male English a rather different
language from the female version of English: most men use language to conceal their feelings whereas
women see it as a means of revealing their emotions.

A. What do the following refer to?

1. this (para. 3) : the fact that ___________________________________________________
2. it (para. 5) : ______________________________________________________________
3. it (para. 8) : ______________________________________________________________

B. Mark the best choice.

1. Before Dale Spender carried out her research, she _________________.
a) intended to show what made women aggressive
b) thought she knew what the outcome would be
c) realized men tended to speak more than women
d) wanted to discover the situations where men spoke most

2. Robert Robinson complained that many women appearing on his show _________________.

a) tended to be too assertive

b) didn't like his silent manner
c) were unable to cope with him
d) kept interrupting him

3. According to Dr. Coates, in a mixed group of speakers, _________________.

a) women tend to encourage interruption

b) men tend to build up the topic slowly
c) women discuss boring topics
d) men experience feelings of boredom

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 GAZİ UNIVERSITY
COLLEGE OF FOREIGN LANGUAGES
2023-2024 SPRING TERM – WEEK 1
4. According to the article, _________________.
a) misunderstandings don't occur between men and women unless complex sentences are used
b) women tend to dominate the other person in a conversation
c) men regard conversation as a contest
d) men's use of language aims at revealing the speaker's emotions

C. Answer the following questions.

1. Because women believe that conversation is a reciprocal exchange, which behavior is NOT expected from
them according to Jennifer Coates?
_______________________________________________________________________________________
_______________________________________________________________________________________

2. How do men and women differ in the way they perceive a question?
_______________________________________________________________________________________
_______________________________________________________________________________________

3. Is it the male or the female style that is preferable in business? Why?

_______________________________________________________________________________________
_______________________________________________________________________________________

Taken from Program and Materials Development Unit Archive