1

SCENE 1
INT. CASTLE INTERIOR
There is a bed on stage behind a silky curtain, back lit.

PRINCE CHARMING (OS): Once upon a time in a kingdom far, far

away, the king and queen were blessed with a beautiful baby girl.
And throughout the land, everyone was happy... until the sun went
down and they saw that their daughter was cursed with a frightful
enchantment that took hold each and every night. Desperate, they
sought the help of a fairy godmother who had them lock the young
princess away in a tower, there to await the kiss... of the handsome
Prince Charming.
(enters gallantly on stage)
It was he who would chance the perilous journey through blistering
cold and scorching desert travelling for many days and nights, risking
life and limb to reach the Dragon's keep. For he was the bravest, and
most handsome... in all the land.
(looks at the audience)
And it was destiny that his kiss would break the dreaded curse. He
alone would climb to the highest room of the tallest tower to enter
2

the princess's chambers, cross the room to her sleeping silhouette,

pull back the gossamer curtains to find her… (pulls back the curtain
to reveal WOLF in the bed. Gasps)
WOLF: What? You’re disturbing my sleep…
CHARMING: Princess... Fiona?
WOLF: Do I sound and look like a princess?
CHARMING (relieved): Thank heavens. Where is
she?

WOLF: She's on her honeymoon.

CHARMING: Honeymoon? With whom?
Lights go off
CUADRO “Accidentally in love” - NIVEL INICIAL
3

SCENE 2
At the swamp
SHREK: It´s so good to be home! Just you and me and….

DONKEY (offstage): One is the loneliest number that you ever do...
(enters) Two can be as bad as one...
SHREK: Donkey?
DONKEY: Shrek! Fiona! Aren't you two a sight for sore eyes! Give us a
hug. And look at you, Mrs. Shrek. How 'bout a side of sugar for the
steed?
SHREK: Donkey, what are you doing here?
DONKEY: Taking care of your love nest for you.
SHREK: Oh, you mean like... sorting the mail and watering the plants?
Look at the time. I guess you' d better be going.
DONKEY: Don't you want to tell me about your trip? Or how about a
game of Parcheesi?
FIONA: Actually, Donkey? Shouldn't you be getting home to Dragon?
DONKEY: Oh, yeah, that. I don't know. She's been all moody and stuff
lately. I thought I'd move in with you.
FIONA: You know we're always happy to see you, Donkey.
SHREK: But Fiona and I are married now. We need a little time, you
know, to be together. Just with each other. Alone.
DONKEY: Say no more. You don't have to worry about a thing. I will
4

always be here to make sure nobody bothers you.

SHREK: Donkey!
DONKEY: Yes, roomie?
SHREK: YOU're bothering me.
DONKEY: Oh, OK. All right, cool. I guess... Me and Pinocchio was
going to catch a tournament, anyway, so...Maybe I'll see y'all Sunday
for a barbecue or something.
SHREK: He'll be fine. Now, where were we? (giggles) Oh. I think I
remember. (They are about to kiss) Donkey!
DONKEY: I know, I know! Alone! I'm going! I'm going. What do you
want me to tell these other guys?
ROYAL MESSENGER enters to fanfare. Trumpet sound
MESSENGER (clears throat): "Dearest Princess Fiona. You are hereby
summoned to the Kingdom of Far, Far Away for a royal ball in
celebration of your marriage at which time the King will bestow his
royal blessing... upon you and your...uh... Prince Charming. Love, the
King and Queen of Far, Far [Link] Mom and Dad."
FIONA: Mom and Dad?
SHREK: Prince Charming?
DONKEY: Royal ball? Can I come?
SHREK: We're not going.
FIONA & DONKEY: What?
5

SHREK: I mean, don't you think they might be a bit... shocked to see
you like this?
FIONA: Well, they might be a bit surprised. But they're my parents,
Shrek. They love me. And don't worry. They'll love you, too.
SHREK: Yeah, right. Somehow I don't think I'll be welcome at the
country club.
FIONA: Stop it. They're not like that.
SHREK: How do you explain Sergeant Pompousand the Fancy Pants
Club Band?
FIONA: Oh, come on! You could at least give them a
chance.
SHREK: To do what? Sharpen their pitchforks?
FIONA: No! They just want to give you their
blessing.
SHREK: Oh, great. Now I need their blessing?
FIONA: If you want to be a part of this family, yes!
SHREK: Who says I want to be part of this family?
FIONA: You did! When you married me!
SHREK: Well, there's some fine print for you!
FIONA: (exasperated sigh) So that's it. You won't come?

SHREK: Trust me. It's a bad idea. We are not going! And that's
final!

ALL exit.
CUADRO NIVEL INICIAL - IM A BELIEVER
6

SCENE 3
EXT. SHREK SWAMP Horse walking sound while they are on the
carriage
SHREK, DONKEY and FIONA are on stage, sitting in the
carriage.
DONKEY: Are we there yet?
SHREK: No.
DONKEY: Are we there yet?
FIONA: Not yet.
DONKEY: OK, are we there yet?
SHREK: No.
DONKEY: Are we there yet?
FIONA: No!
DONKEY: Are we there yet?
SHREK: No!
DONKEY: Are we there yet?
SHREK & FIONA: No!
DONKEY: This is taking forever, Shrek.
SHREK: The Kingdom of Far, Far Away, Donkey. That's where we're
[Link], far -- (softly) away!
SHREK : (groans) Are we there yet?
FIONA: Yes!
DONKEY: Oh, finally!
CUADRO FUNKYTOWN - 1 ER GRADO.
AL TERMINAR ENTRA 2DO GRADO para representar a los
ciudadanos de far far away.
7

MESSENGER: Announcing the long-awaited return of the beautiful

Princess Fiona and her new husband.

Trumpet sound – Town people around

SHREK and FIONA enter off-stage left. KING and QUEEN enter off
stage right.
At the other side of the stage
KING: Who on earth are they?
QUEEN: I think that's our little girl.
KING: That's not little! That's a really big problem. Wasn't she
supposed to kiss Prince Charming and break the spell?

QUEEN: Well, he's no Prince Charming, but they do look...

KING: A disaster! There is no way...

Both parties begin moving toward each other
FIONA: Mom... Dad...I'd like you to meet my husband... Shrek.
SHREK: Well, um...It's easy to see where Fiona gets her good looks
from. (chuckles nervously)

2DO GRADO BAILA “Thank YOU”

8

SCENE 4
Se necesitan 4 sillas y una mesa.
FAMILY HAVING DINNER. DONKEY ENTERS SHAKING
OFF A GUARD
DONKEY: (off-stage) What do you mean, "not on the list"? Don't tell
me you don't know who I am. (enters) What's happening,
everybody? Thanks for waiting. I had the hardest time getting into
this place.
KING: No! No! Bad donkey! Bad! Go!
FIONA: No, Dad! It's all right. It's all right. He's with us. He helped
rescue me from the dragon.
DONKEY: That's me: the noble steed.
SHREK: Oh, boy.
QUEEN: So, Fiona, tell us about where you live.
FIONA: Well... Shrek owns his own land. Don't you, honey?

SHREK: OH yes! It's in an enchanted forest abundant in squirrels and

cute little duckies and...
DONKEY: (laughing) What? I know you ain't talking about the
swamp.
KING: An ogre from a swamp. Oh! How original.
QUEEN: I suppose that would be a fine place to raise the
children. SHREK AND KING COUGH INVOLUNTARILY
SHREK: It's a bit early to be thinking about that, isn't
it?
KING: Indeed.
QUEEN: Harold!
9

SHREK: What's that supposed to mean?

FIONA: Dad. It's great, OK?
KING: For his type, yes.
SHREK My type?
KING: I suppose any grandchildren I could expect from you would
be...

SHREK: Ogres, yes!

QUEEN: Not that there's anything wrong with that. Right, Harold?
KING: Oh, no! No! Of course, not! That is, assuming you don't eat
your own young!
FIONA: Dad
SHREK: NO, we usually prefer the ones who've been locked away in
a tower!
FIONA: Shrek, please!
KING: I only did that because I love her.
SHREK: Aye, day care or dragon-guarded castle.
KING: You wouldn't understand. You're not her father!
QUEEN: It´s so nice to have the family together for dinner.
FIONA exits crying.

10

SCENE 5
Se necesita un banco
FIONA CRYING IN HER BEDROOM, she hears the voice of FAIRY
GODMOTHER who enters followed by Kyle. Fairy Godmother sound
FAIRY GODMOTHER: Your fallen tears have called to me so, here
comes my sweet remedy I know what every princess needs for her to
live life happily...
Both gasp.
FAIRY GODMOTHER: Oh, my dear. Oh, look at you. You're all grown
up.
FIONA: Who are you?
FAIRY GODMOTHER: Oh, sweet pea! I'm your fairy godmother.
FIONA: I have a fairy godmother?
FAIRY GODMOTHER: Shush, shush. Now, don't worry. I'm here to
make it all better. With just a wave of my magic wand, your troubles
will soon be gone.
FIONA: Thank you very much, Fairy Godmother,
but... SHREK enters.
SHREK: Fiona? Fiona.
FIONA: Oh, uh... Fairy Godmother... I'd like you to meet my husband,
Shrek.
FAIRY GODMOTHER: Your husband? What? What did you say? When
11

did this happen?

FIONA: Shrek is the one who rescued me.
FAIRY GODMOTHER: But that can't be right.
SHREK: Oh, great, more relatives!
FIONA: She's just trying to help.
SHREK: Good! She can help us pack. Get your coat, dear. We're
leaving.
FIONA: What? I don't want to leave. When did you decide
this?
SHREK: Shortly after arriving.
FIONA: Look, I'm sorry...
FAIRY GODMOTHER: No, that's all right. I need to go, anyway. But
remember, dear. If you should ever need me... happiness...is just a
tear drop away.
SHREK: Thanks, but we've got all the happiness we need. Happy,
happy, happy...
FAIRY GODMOTHER: So I see. Let's go, Kyle.
FIONA: Very nice, Shrek.
SHREK: What? I told you coming here was a bad idea.

FIONA: You could've at least tried to get along with my father.

SHREK: I don't think I was going to get Daddy's blessing, even if I did
want it.
FIONA: Do you think it might be nice if somebody asked me what I
12

wanted?
SHREK: Sure. Do you want me to pack for you?
FIONA: You're unbelievable! You're behaving like a...
SHREK: Go on! Say it!
FIONA: Like an ogre!
SHREK: Here's a news flash for you! Whether your parents like it or
not... I am an ogre! And guess what, Princess? That's not about to
change.
FIONA: I've made changes for you, [Link] about that. (exits)
Door slam
13
SCENE 6
El banco se queda!
INT. KING AND QUEEN’S BED CHAMBER
KING: I knew this would happen.
QUEEN: You should. You started it.
KING: I can hardly believe that, Lillian. He's the ogre. Not me.

QUEEN: I think, Harold, you're taking this a little too personally. This
is Fiona's choice.
KING: But she was supposed to choose the prince we picked for her.
I mean, you expect me to give my blessings to this, thing?
QUEEN: Fiona does. And she'll never forgive you if you don't. I don't
want to lose our daughter again, Harold. Oh, you act as if love is
totally predictable. Don't you remember when we were young? We
used to walk down by the lily pond and...
KING: they were in bloom...
QUEEN: Our first kiss.
KING: It's not the same! I don't think you realize that our daughter
has married a monster!
QUEEN: Oh, stop being such a drama king.
KING: Fine! Pretend there's nothing wrong! La, di, da, di, da! Isn't it
all wonderful! I'd like to know how it could get any worse!
FAIRY GODMOTHER: (out on the balcony) Hello, Harold.
KING gasps.
QUEEN: What happened?
KING: Nothing, dear! Just the old crusade wound playing up a bit! I'll
just stretch it out here for a while.
FAIRY GODMOTHER: We need to talk.
KING: Actually, Fairy Godmother, off to bed. (yawns) Already taken
my pills, and they tend to make me a bit drowsy. So, how about... we
make this a quick visit.
FAIRY GODMOTHER: You remember my son, Prince Charming?
CHARMING enters.
KING: Is that you? My gosh! It's been years. When did you get back?
CHARMING: Oh, about five minutes ago, actually. After I endured
blistering winds, scorching desert... I climbed to the highest room in
the tallest tower...
FAIRY GODMOTHER: Mommy can handle this. He endures blistering
winds and scorching desert! He climbs to the highest bloody room of
the tallest bloody tower... And what does he find? A wolf telling him
that his princess is already married.
KING: It wasn't my fault. He didn't get there in time.
FAIRY GODMOTHER: Harold. We made a deal, and I assume you don't
want me to go back on my part.
KING: (sighs deeply) Indeed not.
15

FAIRY GODMOTHER: So, Fiona and Charming will be together. Believe

me, Harold. It's what's best. Not only for your daughter... but for your
Kingdom.
KING: What am I supposed to do about it?
FAIRY GODMOTHER: Use your imagination.
16

SCENE 7
INT. AT A PUB IN THE WOODS

4TO GRADO CUADRO - LITTLE DROP OF POISON

Entran mesas y sillas varias.

KING enters. A woman (Doris) is cleaning a glass with.
KING: (clears throat) Excuse me. Uh... excuse me. I'm looking for the
Ugly Stepsister.
Doris turns around to reveal herself.
KING: Ah! There you are. Right. You see, I need to have someone
taken care of.
DORIS: Who's the guy?
KING: Well, he's not a guy, per se. Um... He's an ogre.

DORIS: Hey, buddy, let me clue you in. There's only one fellow who
can handle a job like that, and, frankly... he don't like to be disturbed.
KING: Where could I find him?
DORIS points to the dark corner of the room.
KING: Hello?
MYSTERIOUS VOICE: Who dares speak to me?
KING: Sorry! I hope I'm not interrupting, but I'm told you're the one
to talk to about an ogre problem?
VOICE: You are told correct. But for this,I charge a great deal of
money.
KING: Would... this be enough? (holds up a heavy satchel of coins)
17

VOICE: You have engaged my valuable services, Your Majesty. Just tell
me where I can find this ogre.

18

SCENE 8
Salen las cosas del bar, entra banco de habitación.
SHREK is alone reading FIONA’s diary.
FIONA (OFFSTAGE): Dear Diary... Sleeping Beauty is having a slumber
party tomorrow, but Dad says I can't go. He never lets me out after
sunset. Dad says I'm going away for a while. Must be like some
finishing school. Mom says that when I'm old enough, my Prince
Charming will rescue me from my tower and bring me back to my
family, and we'll all live happily ever after. Mrs. Fiona Charming. Mrs.
Fiona Charming. Mrs. FionaCharming. (A knock on door)
KING: Sorry. I hope I'm not interrupting anything.
SHREK: No, no. I was just reading a, uh... a scary book.
KING: I was hoping you'd let me apologize for my despicable
behavior earlier.
SHREK: Okay...
KING: I don't know what came over me. Do you suppose we could
pretend it never happened and start over...
SHREK: Look, Your Majesty, I just...
KING: Please. Call me Dad.
SHREK: Dad. We both acted like ogres. Maybe we just need some
time to get to know each other.
KING: Excellent idea! I was actually hoping you might join me for a
19

morning hunt. A little father-son time? I know it would mean the

world to Fiona. Shall we say, by the old oak?
SHREK: Sure.
Sale el banco
20

SCENE 9
EXT. IN THE FOREST
SHREK: Face it, Donkey! We're lost.
DONKEY: We can't be lost. We followed the King's instructions
exactly. "Head to the darkest part of the woods...", "Past the sinister
trees with scary-looking branches." The bush shaped like Shirley
Bassey!
SHREK: We passed that three times already!
DONKEY: You were the one who said not to stop for directions.
SHREK: Oh, great. My one chance to fix things up with Fiona's dad
and I end up lost in the woods with you!
DONKEY: Don't get huffy! I'm only trying to help.
SHREK: I know! I know. I'm sorry, all right?
DONKEY: Hey, don't worry about it.
SHREK: I just really need to make things work with this guy.
DONKEY: Yeah, sure. Now let's go bond with Daddy.
SHREK hears purring. (cat sound)
SHREK: Well, well, well, Donkey. I know it was kind of a tender
moment back there, but the purring?
DONKEY: What? I ain't purring.
SHREK: Sure. What's next? A hug?
DONKEY: Hey, Shrek. Donkeys don't purr. What do you think I am,
21

some kind of a...

PUSS IN BOOTS enters.
PUSS: Ha-ha! Fear me, if you dare!
SHREK: Look! A little cat.
DONKEY: Look out, Shrek! He got a piece!
SHREK: It's a cat, Donkey. Come here, little kitty, kitty. Come on, little
kitty. Come here.
PUSS scratches SHREK’s out stretched hand. (Ruido ataque gato)
PUSS: Now, ye ogre, pray for mercy from...Puss... in Boots!
SHREK: I'll kill that cat!
PUSS: Ah-ha-ha! (coughs, wheezes, retches, coughs, chuckles)
Hairball.

PUSS: Oh, no! Por favor! Please! I implore you! It was nothing
personal, Señor. I was doing it only for my family. My mother, she is
sick. And my father lives off the garbage! The King offered me much
in gold and I have a litter of brothers...
SHREK: Whoa, whoa, whoa! Fiona's father paid you to do
this?
PUSS: The rich King? Sí.
SHREK: Well, so much for Dad's royal blessing.
22

DONKEY: Don't feel bad. Almost everybody that meets you wants to
kill you.
SHREK: Maybe Fiona would've been better off if I were some sort of
Prince Charming.
PUSS: That's what the King said. Oh, uh...sorry. I thought that
question was directed at me.
DONKEY: Shrek, Fiona knows you'd do anything for her.
SHREK: Well, it's not like I wouldn't change if I could. I just... I just
wish I could make her happy. Hold the phone... "Happiness. Just a
tear drop away." Donkey! Think of the saddest thing that's ever
happened to you!
DONKEY: Aw, man, where do I begin? First there was the time that
old farmer tried to sell me for some magic beans. Then this fool had
a party and he have the guests trying to pin the tail on me. Then they
got drunk and start beating me with a stick, going "Piñata!!" What is
a piñata, anyway?
SHREK: No, Donkey! I need you to cry!
DONKEY: Don't go projecting on me. I know you're feeling bad, but
you got to (Puss steps on his foot) Aaaahhh! You little, hairy, litter
licking sack of...
(OFF) KYLE: Fairy Godmother is away from desk or with a client. But I
can help you with your ‘Happiness problems’.
23

SHREK: We need to see the Fairy Godmother. Let´s go!

 24

SCENE 10

Entra silla
(yawns) FAIRY GODMOTHER enters and Kyle stands up straight very
quickly.

Kyle: (clears throat and straightens his clothes) Ma’am, I wasn’t

expecting you!
FAIRY GODMOTHER: Kyle, I’ve been looking everywhere for you!
Why aren’t you… (notices SHREK) What in Grimm's name are you
doing here?
SHREK: Well, um, it seems that Fiona's not exactly happy.
FAIRY GODMOTHER: Oh-ho-ho! And is there some question as to why
that is? Well, let's explore that, shall we? Cinderella. "Lived happily
ever after." No ogres! Snow White. A handsome prince. Oh, no ogres.
Sleeping Beauty. No ogres! Hansel and Gretel? No! Thumbelina? No.
The Little Mermaid, Pretty Woman... No, no, no! You see, ogres don't
live happily ever after.
SHREK: All right, look, lady!
FAIRY GODMOTHER: Don't you point... those dirty green sausages at
me!
KYLE opens the cupboard to get a potion and SHREK notices them.
SHREK: Ah... that's okay. We’ll go. Very sorry to have wasted your
time, Miss Godmother.
FAIRY GODMOTHER: I need a Monte Cristo Sandwich now. You’ve got
me all worked up. (exits, as well as Kyle does)
Shrek opens the cupboard.
25

DONKEY: Shrek, are you off your nut?

SHREK: Donkey, quiet and keep watch.
DONKEY: Keep watch? Yeah, I'll keep watch. I'll watch that wicked
witch come and whammy a world of hurt up your backside. I'll laugh,
too. I'll be giggling to myself.
SHREK opens the cart and passes potions to PUSS.
PUSS: Toad Stool Softener? Elfa Seltzer? Hex Lax?
SHREK: Help me find "handsome."
PUSS: Hey! How about "Happily Ever After"?
SHREK: Well, what does it do?
PUSS: It says "Beauty Divine."
SHREK: That'll have to do. She’s coming back. Go, Donkey! ALL exit.
FAIRY GODMOTHER: enters, with CHARMING following after. (Potion
bottles are all over the floor)
FAIRY GODMOTHER: What happened here? Kyle! Clean this up.
CHARMING: Mother!
FAIRY GODMOTHER: This isn't a good time, pumpkin. Mama's
working.
CHARMING: Whoa, what happened here?
FAIRY GODMOTHER: The ogre, that's what!
CHARMING: What? Where is he, Mom? I shall rend his head from his
shoulders! I will smite him where he stands! He will rue the very day
26

he stole my kingdom from me!

FAIRY GODMOTHER: Oh, put it away, Junior! You're still going to be
king. We'll just have to come up with something smarter.

KYLE: Pardon. Um... Everything is accounted for, Fairy Godmother,

except for one potion.
FAIRY GODMOTHER: What? (looks in the cart) Oh... I do believe we
can make this work to our advantage.

27

SCENE 11
In the forest
SHREK (reading the potion) “Happily Ever After Potion. Maximum
strength. For you and your true love. If one of you drinks this, you
both will be fine. Happiness, comfort and beauty divine." You both
will be fine? I guess it means it'll affect Fiona, too.
DONKEY: Hey, man, this don't feel right. My donkey senses are
tingling all over. Drop that jug o' voodoo and let's get out of here.
SHREK: It says, "Beauty Divine." How bad can it be? (sniffs the potion
and sneezes)
DONKEY: See, you're allergic to that stuff. You'll have a reaction. And
if you think that I'll be smearing Vapor Rub over your chest, think
again!
SHREK: Well, here's to us, Fiona.
DONKEY: Shrek? You drink that, there's no going back.
SHREK: I know.
DONKEY: No more wallowing in the mud?
SHREK: I know.
DONKEY: No more itchy butt crack?
SHREK: I know!
DONKEY: But you love being an ogre!
SHREK: I know! But I love Fiona more.
28

DONKEY: Shrek, no! Wait!

SHREK drinks the potion. There’s a long pause then he farts.
DONKEY: I think you grabbed the "Farty Ever After" potion.
PUSS: Maybe it's a dud.
SHREK: Or maybe Fiona and I were never meant to
be. Thunder cracks and he passes out.
DONKEY: Shrek!
Black out.

FIONA enters with her luggage.

KING: There you are! We missed you at dinner. What is it, darling?
FIONA: Dad... I've been thinking about what you said. And I'm going
to set things right.
KING: Ah! Excellent! That's my girl.
FIONA: It was a mistake to bring Shrek here. I'm going to go out and
find him. And then we'll go back to the swamp where we belong.
QUEEN: Fiona, please! Let's not be rash, darling. You can't go
anywhere right now.
Thunder cracks again and FIONA collapses.
KING: Fiona!
29

SCENE 12
INT. IN THE BARN - MORNING
JILL: Good morning, sleepyhead. I love your kitty!
HUMAN SHREK: Oh... My head...
JILL: Here, I fetched a pail of water.
HUMAN SHREK: Thanks. Uhh! (sees his reflection in the pale) Aahh!
A cute button nose? Thick, wavy locks? Taut, round buttocks? I'm...
I'm...
JILL: Gorgeous! (moves in closer) I'm Jill. What's your
name?
HUMAN SHREK: Um... Shrek.
JILL: Shrek? Wow. Are you from Europe?
HUMAN SHREK: looks around confused.
JILL: You're tense. I want to rub your shoulders.
HUMAN SHREK: Have you seen my donkey?
HORSE enters and begins studying SHREK, followed by PUSS.

HORSE: Wow! That's some quality potion, Shrek! What's in that

stuff?

PUSS: "Warning: Side effects may include burning, itching, oozing,

weeping. Not intended for heart patients or those with... nervous
disorders."
HUMAN SHREK: What?
PUSS: Señor? "To make the effects of this potion permanent, the
drinker must obtain his true love's kiss by midnight."
30
HUMAN SHREK: Midnight?
HORSE: Why is it always midnight?
JILL: Pick me! I'll be your true love!
HUMAN SHREK: Look, lady, I already have a true
love.
PUSS: Take it from me, Boss. You are going to have one satisfied
Princess.
HORSE: And let's face it. Even though you are a lot easier on the
eyes, inside you're the same old mean, salty…
HUMAN SHREK: (simultaneously) Easy.
HORSE: ...cantankerous, foul, angry ogre you always been.
HUMAN SHREK: And you're still the same annoying donkey.
HORSE: Yeah (Bashful)
HUMAN SHREK: Well...Look out, Princess. Here comes the new
me.
HORSE: First things first. We need to get you out of those clothes.
MAIDENS gasp.

31

SCENE 13
EXT. THE CASTLE GATE
GUARD: Who are you?
HUMAN SHREK: Tell Princess Fiona her husband, Sir Shrek, is here to
see her.
(AT THE OTHER SIDE OF THE STAGE) FIONA wakes up as a human and
looks at herself in the mirror. She screams.
HUMAN SHREK: Fiona!
HUMAN FIONA: Shrek?
SHREK runs into FIONA’s room as FIONA runs down to the castle
gates. FAIRY GODMOTHER enters the room just before HUMAN
SHREK, she is cloaked.
GUARDS TAKE HUMAN SHREK.
HORSE: Wow! That potion worked on you, too?
HUMAN FIONA: What potion?
HORSE: Shrek took some magic potion. And well... Now, he’s sexy!
HUMAN FIONA: (looking at PUSS) Shrek?
PUSS: For you, baby... I could be.
HORSE: Yeah, you wish.
HUMAN FIONA: Donkey, where is Shrek?
HORSE: He went inside looking for you.
HORSE and PUSS exit.
32

CHARMING enters.
Charming: Fiona?
HUMAN FIONA: Shrek?
CHARMING: Aye, Fiona. It is me.
HUMAN FIONA: What happened to your voice?
CHARMING: The potion changed a lot of things, Fiona. But not the
way I feel about you.
KING and QUEEN enter.
QUEEN: Fiona?
KING: Charming?
CHARMING: (showing off outfit) Do you think so? (laughs) Dad. I was
so hoping you'd approve.
QUEEN: Um... Who are you?
CHARMING: Mom, it's me, Shrek. I know you never get a second
chance at a first impression, but, well, what do you think? (Hugs
HUMAN FIONA)
HUMAN SHREK: Fiona! Fiona!
FAIRY GODMOTHER: Fiona, Fiona! Ho-ho-ho! Oh, shoot! I don't think
they can hear us, pigeon. (sighs deeply) Don't you think you've
33

already messed her life up enough?

HUMAN SHREK: I just wanted her to be happy.
FAIRY GODMOTHER: And now she can be. Oh, sweetheart. She's
finally found the prince of her dreams.
HUMAN SHREK: But look at me. Look what I've done for her. FAIRY
GODMOTHER: It's time you stop living in a fairy tale, Shrek. She's a
princess, and you're an ogre. That's something no amount of potion
will ever change.
HUMAN SHREK: But... I love her.
FAIRY GODMOTHER: If you really love her... you'll let her go.
HUMAN SHREK leaves.

SCENE 14
INT. THE UGLY STEPSISTER’S TAVERN
Entra 1 mesa con cuatro sillas
DORIS: Here you go, boys.
PUSS: Just leave the bottle, Doris.
DORIS: Hey. Why the long face?
HUMAN SHREK: It was all just a stupid mistake. I never should have
rescued her from that tower in the first place.
PUSS: I hate Mondays.
HORSE: I can't believe you'd walk away from the best thing that
happened to you.
HUMAN SHREK: What choice do I have? She loves that pretty boy,
Prince Charming.
HORSE: Come on. Is he really that good-looking?
DORIS: Are you kidding? He's gorgeous! He has a face that looks like
it was carved by angels.
PUSS: Oh. He sounds dreamy.
HUMAN SHREK: You know... shockingly, this isn't making me feel any
better. Look, guys. It's for the best. Mom and Dad approve, and Fiona
gets the man she's always dreamed of. Everybody wins.

HORSE: Except for you. I don't get it, Shrek. You love Fiona.

HUMAN SHREK: Aye. And that's why I have to let her go.

KING enters in a cloak, at the back of the tavern.

35

KING: Excuse me, is she here?

GUARD: She's, uh... in the back.
KING: Oh, hello again. Fairy Godmother. Charming.
FAIRY GODMOTHER: You'd better have a good reason for dragging us
down here, Harold.
KING: Well, I'm afraid Fiona isn't really... warming up to Prince
Charming.
CHARMING: FYI, not my fault.
FAIRY GODMOTHER: No, of course it's not, dear.
CHARMING: I mean, how charming can I be when I have to pretend
I'm that dreadful ogre?
KING: No, no, it's nobody's fault. Perhaps it's best if we just call the
whole thing off, okay?
FAIRY GODMOTHER AND CHARMING: What?
KING: You can't force someone to fall in love!
FAIRY GODMOTHER: I beg to differ. I do it all the time! (pulls out a
magical potion from her bag) Have Fiona drink this and she'll fall in
love with the first man she kisses, which will be Charming.

KING: Umm... no.

FAIRY GODMOTHER: What did you say?
KING: I can't. I won't do it.
FAIRY GODMOTHER: Oh, yes, you will. If you remember, I helped you
36

with your happily ever after. And I can take it away just as easily. Is
that what you want? Is it?
KING: No
FAIRY GODMOTHER: Good boy. Now, we have to go. I need to do
Charming's hair before the ball. He's hopeless. He's all high in the
front. He can never get to the back. You need someone to do the
back.
CHARMING: Oh. Thank you, Mother.
(OTHER SIDE OF THE STAGE)
HORSE: Mother?
FAIRY GODMOTHER: The ogre! Stop them! Stop them!

The guards grab HUMAN SHREK, HORSE and PUSS and all
exit.

CUADRO QUINTO GRADO - “barracuda”

37

SCENE 15
INT. THE CASTLE
The KING prepares two cups of tea. He pours the poison into one of
them. He goes to see HUMAN FIONA.
KING: Darling? Ah. I thought I might find you here. How about a nice
hot cup of tea before the ball?
HUMAN FIONA: I'm not going.
KING: The whole Kingdom's turned out to celebrate your marriage.
HUMAN FIONA: There's just one problem. That's not my husband.
KING: Yes, he is a bit different, but people change for the ones they
love. You'd be surprised how much I changed for your mother.
HUMAN FIONA: Change? He's completely lost his mind!

KING: Why not come down to the ball and give him another chance?
You might find you like this new Shrek.
HUMAN FIONA: But it's the old one I fell in love with, Dad. I'd give
anything to have him back. (reached for one of the tea cups)
KING: Darling. That's mine. Decaf. Otherwise I'm up all night. HUMAN
FIONA: (Drinking from the other cup) Thanks.
38

SCENE 16
INT. THE DUNGEON / DUNGEON DOOR
HORSE: I got to get out of here! I got to get out of here! You can't
lock us up like this! Let me go! What about my Miranda rights? You're
supposed to say I have the right to remain silent. Nobody said I have
the right to remain silent!
HUMAN SHREK: You HAVE the right to remain silent. What you lack is
capacity.
PUSS: I must hold on before I, too, go totally mad.
FROM THE OTHER SIDE OF THE DOOR – Pinocchio, 3 little pigs, Gingy,
Wolf and 3 rats.
PINOCCHIO: Shrek? Donkey?
PUSS: Too late.
HUMAN SHREK: Gingy! Pinocchio! Pigs! Get us out of
here! (Musica Mision Imposible)
PIG 1: Don´t worry! We will
PINOCCHIO: Move away from the door.
HUMAN SHREK: What?!?!?!?!
GINGY: Yes! We have a bomb.
PIG 2: Away! Move away!
HUMAN SHREK: Let´s move!!!! (talking to Puss and
Horse) GINGY: Here we go. Hang on.
39

EXPLOTION
HUMAN SHREK: Okay boys! We've got to stop that
kiss!

HORSE: I thought you was going to let her go.

HUMAN SHREK: I was, but I can't let them do this to Fiona.
HORSE: Boom! That's what I like to hear. Look who's coming around!
PIG 3: It's impossible! You'll never get in. The castle's guarded.
There's a moat and everything! (nose shrinks back down)
PIG 1: Folks, it looks like we're up chocolate creek without a popsicle
stick.
HUMAN SHREK: Don’t worry guys, I have a plan. To the
castle!
 4

SCENE 17

CUADRO 6TO GRADO DESFILE -

INT. THE ROYAL BALL
TV PRESENTER 1: We have the prettiest faces and the more athletic
bodies in this ball of the Far Far Away Kingdom. The carriages line up
as celebrities descend.
TV PRESENTER 2: Their outfits are superb: Look Snow White. Wow.
(Cinderella, Snow White, Sleeping Beauty etc) Here comes Sleeping
Beauty. Oh, she's already asleep.
TV PRESENTER 1: Next up, the two most famous sisters from the far
cold north, Elsa and Ana.
TV PRESENTER 2: Just in, to protect the Far Far Away land, the team
known as Marvel are here to save the day. (Spiderman, y otros)
TV PRESENTER 1: Who´s there? Who is she?? Oh! She´s the one, the
incomparable, The Fairy Godmother.
(Fairy enters greeting everybody)
TV PRESENTER 1: Now, we are presenting Princess Fiona and her
new husband, Prince Shrek.
AUDIENCE applauses, cheering. CHARMING begins waving and
encouraging the audience.
HUMAN FIONA: Shrek, what are you doing?
CHARMING: I'm just playing the part, Fiona.
HUMAN FIONA: Is that glitter on your lips?
CHARMING: Mm. Cherry flavored. Want to taste?
HUMAN FIONA: Ugh! What is with you?
CHARMING: But, Muffin Cake...
HUMAN FIONA gets fed up and turns to leave, CHARMING looks at
41

FAIRY GODMOTHER for help.

FAIRY GODMOTHER: (Sotto Voce) Play something! Now! (turns to the
AUDIENCE) Ladies and gentlemen. I'd like to dedicate this song to...
Princess Fiona and Prince Shrek.

CUADRO“I NEED A HERO” TERCER GRADO

CHARMING: Fiona, my Princess. Will you honor me with a dance?

AUDIENCE: Dance! Dance!

HUMAN FIONA: Since when do you dance?
CHARMING: Fiona, my dearest, if there's one thing I know, it's that
love is full of surprises.
(DOWNSTAGE)
HUMAN SHREK: All right, fellas! Let's crash this
party!
GUARD: Halt right there!
PIG 2: Make me!
GUARD grabs PIG 2 by the collar.
PIG 3: Hey you!!!!!
HORSE and PUSS grab the GUARD.
HORSE: Go! Go! Your lady needs you! Go!
HUMAN SHREK exits.
PUSS: Today, I repay my debt.
GUARD yells and is chased off stage by PUSS. HORSE, PINOCCHIO, 3
LITTLE PIGS and GINGY FOLLOW.
HUMAN SHREK: Stop! Hey, you! Back away from my wife.
42

HUMAN FIONA: Shrek?

FAIRY GODMOTHER: You couldn't just go back to your swamp and
leave well enough alone.
HUMAN SHREK: Pinocchio! Get the wand!
PINOCCHIO runs for the wand but gets zapped along the way. His
‘PINOCCHIO’ nose is gone.
PINOCCHIO: I'm a real boy!
The WOLF barges in and blows the wand out of FAIRY GODMOTHER’s
hand, GINGYpicks it up and accidentally zaps PINOCCHIO, his wooden
nose appears again.
PINOCCHIO: I'm a real boy. Aah! Oh.
FAIRY GODMOTHER: That's mine!
PUSS and HORSE enter.
HORSE: Pray for mercy, from Puss...
PUSS: and Donkey!
FAIRY GODMOTHER: She's taken the potion! Kiss her
now! CHARMING kisses HUMAN FIONA.
HUMAN SHREK: No!
CHARMING and HUMAN FIONA look at each other longingly, HUMAN
SHREK is heart broken.
ALL gasp.
HUMAN FIONA: (headbutting CHARMING) Hya!
43

HUMAN SHREK: Fiona.

HUMAN FIONA: Shrek
HUMAN SHREK and HUMAN FIONA embrace.
FAIRY GODMOTHER: Harold! You were supposed to give her the
potion!
KING: Well, I guess I gave her the wrong tea.
CHARMING: (Crying) Mommy!
HUMAN FIONA: Mommy?
FAIRY GODMOTHER: I told you. Ogres don't live happily ever after.
FAIRY GODMOTHER tries to zap SHREK but KING grabs the wand.
They both disappear.
HUMAN FIONA: Oh, Dad! (sobbing)
PINOCCHIO: Is he...?
GINGY: Yup. He croaked.
Croak sound can be heard. HUMAN FIONA picks up a
frog. QUEEN: Harold?
HUMAN FIONA: Dad?
FROG KING: I'd hoped you'd never see me like this.
HORSE: And he gave you a hard time!
HUMAN SHREK: Donkey!
FROG KING: No, no, he's right. I'm sorry. To both of you. I only
wanted what was best for Fiona. But I can see now... She already has
it. Shrek, Fiona... Will you accept an old frog's apologies... and my
blessing?

QUEEN: Harold?
FROG KING: I'm sorry, Lillian. I just wish I could be the man you
deserve.
QUEEN: You're more that man today than you ever were... warts and
all.
Clock chimes.
PUSS: Boss! The Happily Ever After Potion!
HUMAN SHREK: Midnight! Fiona. Is this what you want? To be this
way forever?
HUMAN FIONA: What?
HUMAN SHREK: Because if you kiss me now... we can stay like this.
HUMAN FIONA: You'd do that? For me?
HUMAN SHREK: Yes.
HUMAN FIONA: I want what any princess wants. To live happily ever
after, (SHREK leans in to kiss her but she stops him) with the ogre I
married.
PUSS: Whatever happens, I must not cry! You cannot make me cry!
(sobs)
Clock chimes. Flashing lights, as the crowd gathers round and reveals
the ogre SHREK and FIONA.
SHREK: Now, where were we? Oh. I remember.
45

FADE OUT: Spotlight on DONKEY.

DONKEY: Hey! Isn't we supposed to be having a fiesta?

CUADRO 6TO GRADO LIVING LA VIDA LOCA

FANFARE THE END.