Transactiona

l Writing
IGCSE Specifications
Paper 1 - Non-fiction and transactional
writing
Worth 60% final mark
Section B - Transactional Writing (30%)

AO4 18% AO5 12%

Communicate effectively and Write clearly using a range of
imaginatively, adapting form, vocabulary and sentence structures,
tone and register of writing for with appropriate paragraphing and
specific purposes and accurate spelling, punctuation and
audiences. grammar.
Transactional Writing = Non-fiction
writing for a purpose
The six types are:

- To inform
You will be given a choice of two tasks: You
- To explain only choose one.
- To review
- To argue Normally you will write:
- To persuade - An article
- To advise - A letter
- A speech
- A leaflet/brochure
- A review
Typical topics: school life, transport and travel, leisure activities, media.
Typical questions for a letter
A young person from another country is coming to spend a term at your
school. Write a letter to inform them about your school and what happens in
an ordinary day here.

Tips:
- Consider audience
- Write 4-6 paragraphs with clear connectors.
- Include letter beginning and ending.
- Make it interesting
Typical questions for an article
Write an article for your school newspaper or magazine explaining how you
make your decisions with regard to your IGCSE subjects.

Tips:

- Make sure your conclusion reminds the reader of the question.

- Write in a lively style
- You may add sub-headings
- Consider your audience
- Make your start engaging
- Short paragraphs are good.
Typical question for reviews
Think of a film or book that you have enjoyed recently. Write a review of it
for a magazine for teenagers.

Tips:
- Try to engage the reader. Start with a bang.
- Your language may be teenager friendly
- Describe the overall quality and effect of the film/book, not a summary
- Give reasons for your opinions
- You may add a rating
- You may add sub-headings
 ‘The Da Vinci Code’ by Dan Brown
Having been told by friends about this ‘amazing new book’ they had just read I
thought it was time to read it. After months of telling everyone I would pick up the
book the next time I was in Waterstones, my sister handed her dog-eared copy to me
with the simple instruction ‘Read it.’
And thank God I did. This book really deserves all the hype it gets. A truly exciting
and unpredictable mystery plot combined with believable characters and lots of riddles
left me eager for more. I was also feeling pleased with myself as I found myself sussing
out the final two codes before the main characters did, not to speak of having
completed a six hundred page book. I even started telling all around me everything I’d
learned from the book, some of which may surprise the devout Christians among you (if
you choose to believe it of course).
My one moan about the novel is that it is too long. I’m not saying this out of sheer
laziness. This is coming from someone who read the new Harry Potter book in under
seven hours, and that was a monster of a book. It’s just that the book itself (hardback
copy anyway) is so heavy I ended up with wrist ache trying to hold the thing up. Having
said that you get a great sense of satisfaction when you’ve finished it.
Would I recommend it? Certainly. I loved this book, and while Mum and Dad
moaned at me ‘Do some revision’ as I read it, I could claim to be revising R.E. in the
process. Use those expiring book tokens Aunty Mabel sent you for Christmas and go
out and buy it. You’ll thank me for it later (and your wrists will be much stronger too).

Rating: 8/10
Typical questions
Writing to argue
Some experts believe that a school uniform creates more problems than it
solves, and should be abolished in schools.
Give your views on the topic, arguing either in favour or against school
uniform.
Tips:
- Present reasons with examples
- You don’t have to write your true opinion
- Make your arguments as convincing as possible
- You are giving one side, not a balanced arguement.
Writing to persuade
Write a speech persuading the school governors to redecorate your school.

Tips:
- Use persuasive language
- Use connectors
- Use evidence to support your points
- Persuade with intelligent use of language
- Ensure your tone is appropriate for your audience
- Keep thinking about the purpose of your speech
- Greet your audience and end with a farewell.
Writing to advise
Imagine you are an expert answering questions on a website. How would you
answer the following question?

- My fourteen year old daughter seems to spend all her time on social media. I
am really worried about her. How can I help her?

Tips:

- Choose words and phrases that to influence your reader

- Give examples to support your main points
- You may answer in a letter format.
 Writing to advise/inform - Leaflet or
brochure
LANGLANGUAGE OF A LEAFLET:
When leaflets provide instructions, they’ll often use imperatives and the
personal pronoun ‘you’.

As always, the language used will be suited to the audience, and generally
straightforward to make the information accessible to the widest possible
audience.

The tone is often enthusiastic and reassuring, to inspire confidence in the

information it contains.
LEAFLET WRITING KEY POINTS

Easy to read with heading and subheadings

A colorful and bold presentation style
Makes an offer of product or service (or provides information)
Often uses persuasive language
Use of bullet points
Short, snappy sentences
May contain details on directions, map, opening
times, price, phone no., etc.
Writing a speech
You have been asked to speak to younger pupils at your school about how to
cope with exams.

Tips:

- Consider your audience

- Give examples to illustrate points
- Include persuasive language
- Start and end with a bang.
Tips in general
- Use ambitious vocabulary
- Vary sentence starters
- Can you include some different punctuation?
- Give your beginnings and endings a punch
- Make a quick plan
- Proofread your work
Mark Schemes
Markschemes
 Language, Tone and Register
‘Hammered’, ‘drunk’ or ‘intoxicated’? Mate’ versus ‘friend’
‘Chilled’ versus ‘relaxed’

‘Could’ve versus ‘could have’ ‘Cannot’ or ‘can’t’?

‘Ace’ or ‘excellent’?
‘Would’ve’ or ‘would have’? ‘Don’t’ or ‘do not’?

Thanks to the person who posted the

“Since I know your name…”
mnemonic on the internet!
 The following explanation of register (how formal or informal the
type of English used is) is from the Cambridge Dictionary website
at [Link]
grammar/types-of-english-formal-informal-etc/formal-and-informal-
language.
“We use formal language in
situations that are serious or that
involve people we don’t know well
[such as business related
situations.]
Informal language is more
commonly used in situation that are
more relaxed and involve people we
know well.
However, there are times where writing can be very
informal, for example, when writing postcards or
letters to friends, emails or text messages.

There are also examples where

spoken English can be very formal,
such as in a speech or a lecture.”
Slang Formal

Informal Semi
Formal
 11 Kitty Mews, ‘Hi’- a casual and friendly
Bradford,
greeting
BD56 2BQ
01/09/2016.
• ‘Love from’- an affectionate
signoff.
• 34 Ginger Lane,
Calling the recipient ‘hon’ and wishing
her/his family well gives the letter a
•Hi hon, Leeds, personal and affectionate tone.
• Hope you’re
LS62all1ZY
OK.
I’m glad you enjoyed your holiday in Cornwall ‘Hope you’re all OK’- the subject of
(wish I could have joined you- sounds a lot the sentence (I) is dropped to shorten
more fun than staying here and working in it and ‘you are’ is contracted to
‘you’re.’ This sounds more casual and
‘Sunny Bradford’!)
The letter contains personal details
friendly.
and conveys the writer’s
We’re OK and looking forward to the excitement. This shows that the
festival at the weekend- the line-up’s fantastic writer and recipient are friends
this year and I can’t wait to see Maiden live! because they are evidently
I’ll ring you on Mon evening for a interested in each other’s lives and
proper catch-up. families/friends.
 Ana Conda,
1 Serpent Street,
Recipient’s address Writer’s address (on BRADFORD,
the right) BD1 2SK.

Date 28th November

Peter Rachman,
91–93 Westbourne Grove,
LONDON,
W2 4UL. Subject
Formal greeting
Re. Unacceptable housing.

Dear Mr. Rachman,

I am writing to complain about the condition of the property I am renting from your agency. The building is damp
and there is mould growing on the walls of the upstairs rooms. Furthermore, the boiler is broken and two of the
bedroom windows will not shut properly, so the house is unbearably cold and we have no hot water.
Formal language
Formal
I telephoned your office last week sign
and your off (“since
receptionist I know
told me that you were in a meeting, but would contact me
with no contractions
afterwards. However, I am still waiting to hear it’s
your name, fromsincerely”)
you and whenever I have tried to call again, the line is cut off.
I feel that this is completely unacceptable and, if these issues are not resolved within the next few days, I will
contact Environmental Health about
Signature & this [Link]
printed
I look forward to your response.

Yours sincerely,
Tone and Language
Along with the register, the tone (mood) and language of the
text help you to identify the intended audience of the text
and how the author wants the reader to feel.
For example, the tone of the letter to the friend is friendly,
personal, informal and conversational- or ‘chatty’.
In contrast, the letter of complaint is formal and business
like. Although it is polite, it is impersonal, direct and ‘to the
point’.

Formal English also tends to include specialist language

and terms that relate to the subject.
Winston Churchill: ‘We Shall Fight on the
Seriously, the Brits and French are gonna
Beaches’ speech (1940) have to stick together on this ‘un and go
“The British Empire and the French Republic, linked full out against them Nazis, or we’re all
together in their cause and in their need, will defend screwed.
to the death their native soil, aiding each other like
good comrades to the utmost of their strength. They might’ve got their grubby mitts on
half o’ Europe, but there’s no way they’re
Even though large tracts of Europe and many old and takin’ over us or France- Hell can freeze
famous States have fallen or may fall into the grip of over first!
the Gestapo and all the odious apparatus of Nazi
rule, we shall not flag or fail. I don’t care where we have to fight ‘em-
and we’ll fight them with the butt ends of
We shall go on to the end; we shall fight in France;
Formal
we shall fight on the seas and oceans…”
broken beer bottles if we have to, but they
won’t beat us…

Versus
Non
Formal
 Sample examination questions
Writing an article – exam tasks:
‘In our busy twenty-first century lives, hobbies and interests are more important than ever.’ Write an
article for a newspaper expressing your views on this statement.
Your article may include:
• what hobbies and interests you enjoy
• the benefits of hobbies and interests, especially in today’s world
• any other points you wish to make.
Your response will be marked for the accurate and appropriate use of vocabulary, spelling, punctuation and
grammar.
Write your article. [45]
Sample
A magazine is inviting readers exam
to send questions
in articles with the title ‘My hopes and ambitions for the
future’. Write the article that you would submit.
Your article may include:
• your personal hopes and ambitions
• your hopes for the wider world
• any other points you wish to make.
Your response will be marked for the accurate and appropriate use of vocabulary, spelling, punctuation and
grammar.
Write your article. [45]
 Planning an answer
A travel magazine is inviting readers to submit articles on places for a good day out for all
the family.
You may write about
- a place that you know well, describe location.
- What activities do you recommend
- Any other information you think would be helpful.
Write your article.
Ask yourself the following questions to help you plan your answer:
• Who is the audience for the writing?
• What is the topic of the article?
• Do any of the words in the tasks suggest the tone for your writing (‘good day
out’)?
• How can you appeal to the audience?
• What is a travel magazine?
• Can you think of any features of an article?
• Can you think of any techniques that you might like to include?
 Planning an answer
A travel magazine is inviting readers to submit articles on places for a good day out for
all the family. You decide to write about a place that you know well, where there is a lot
to do for everyone in the family.

A Write your
place for article.
a good day out for the family…
[20]
Introduction: establish where you are writing about. Try to grab the reader’s attention. Set the tone for the article.
Include a brief overview of the day out.
Paragraph 1: Select an aspect of the day out that will appeal to the reader – for example, the location. Describe the
location and include details that appeal to the family.
Paragraph 2: Select another aspect of the day out that will appeal to the reader – for example, the activities.
Describe what you can do and give advice, for example: time, price, fun.
Paragraph 3: Select a final aspect of the day out that will appeal to the reader – for example, eating out. Include
anecdotes, advice and suggestions.
Conclusion: Summarise the day out. Give a few final points to persuade the reader. Make it personal!
 Article writing – sample extract
A travel magazine is inviting readers to submit articles on places for a good day out for
all the family. You decide to write about a place that you know well, where there is a lot
to do for everyone in the family.

Write your article.

]
Look at the opening paragraphs
then look back at the plan on the
previous page. Can you see how
the plan has helped the student
to write this answer?
 Making your article effective
If you want to produce a successful article, you So, what’s going on in the world of….MUSIC?’
might like to consider:
I’m certain that most of us, at one point or another,
• techniques to engage the reader – confide in have experienced a complaint from irate parents
them about our tastes in modern music. Be it a harassed
shout to ‘Turn that racket down!’ or a wistful ‘We
• write about shared experiences – look at the didn’t have lyrics like that when the Beatles were
details about the parents around’, it seems that adults today are generally
unimpressed with the new generation of pop
• don’t be afraid to stereotype - the reader will be culture.
able to appreciate the point you are making To be fair, not all adults have lost touch with the
latest developments in music. However, I’ve given
• choose interesting verbs/words to make the up hope for my own parents. Watching my mum
writing more interesting tapping her foot enthusiastically to Harry Styles was
• don’t be afraid to have a sense of humour – you enough to put me off watermelons for life. When
she turned to me, gave me a knowing wink and
can lightly mock others or even yourself claimed he was headed ‘straight for the top’, I was
• be very specific in the details you include – lost for words.
Parents may not like loud music (or swear words),
include place names, proper nouns, titles but at least they should be grateful that the
• using subordinate clauses (asides) to add more majority of us are intuitive enough to avoid the
colourful, plastic grasp of ‘pop’ music. It is in this
details area of music that the worst crimes are most
• carefully consider the use of punctuation for commonly found: repetitive tunes, cliched lyrics,
dubbed vocals and an absence of real music.
effect.
 Features of article writing
Dress to Impress? Picture of fashion Do not waste time
Include a heading. If you can, icons drawing pictures,
try to think of something Haven’t found your style yet? just write down
catchy. You could use a pun, a Not sure what’s ‘in’ and what’s not? what you would
question or even something Don’t worry, because help is at hand! have a picture of.
controversial. It’s difficult these days to keep up
with trends and fashions. Even
keeping up with your friends is hard enough! What’s ‘hot’ Appeal to your
Always organise your writing and what’s ‘not’ changes as often as Kylie Jenner’s hair! Not reader. Use
into paragraphs. It will help to mention the money issues. pronouns, be
you to make your ideas clear We’ve all been there. Your mates have decided to go ‘punk’ friendly, empathise
and easy to follow. this month and you’ve just gone out and bought your new and use asides.
gear. You’re chuffed with the fishnet tights, and still getting
Vary your punctuation, where over having your nose pierced, when quicker than you can
relevant. Different sentence say ‘I’m a punk chick’, the trend has changed and you are
types can make your writing so five minutes ago (and broke)!
Use language to
more engaging and effective. The latest fashion hot spot has got to be the mini, mini
appeal to the
shorts. You know, those teeny little denim things you’ve
reader. Try to use
seen that gorgeous, leggy girl next door wearing. Well, do
topic specific
not despair! If, like most of us modest females, you
language too.
absolutely hate your legs….and all the rest of it. Then don’t.
Just because Victoria Beckham does, and your best mate
says you’ve just got to, it doesn’t mean you are going to be
the only one not flashing your thighs. My advice to you is
wear what you like. Wear what you feel comfortable in and
what makes you feel like a million dollars!
 Practise the opening
● Engage or 'grab your reader's
Is the onesie the perfect gift this attention straight away - involve
and interest them at the outset.
Christmas? ● Welcome your audience– show
the examiner you know this is an
article with the correct phrasing
December has arrived and in true – good evening, welcome ladies
and gentlemen etc.
Christmas fashion, the onesies ● Involve your reader by using
have taken over the 'you', 'we - if appropriate!
supermarkets. Will you buy one ● State why you have the
authority to write on this topic
this Christmas? Maybe your dad and that you are reasonable and
will rock a Batman onesie, or your trustworthy.
● Forge common ground between
nan will adorn a sassy sheep you and your reader - mention
onesie. Are they really the best gift an outcome both of you would
endorse.
idea? ● Use a rhetorical question to
hook them into your topic.
Complex sentences
⮚ Begin with an adverb ● Place the sub-ordinate clause at the
beginning of the sentence.
Unsurprisingly, many Remember, it is hard being a
teenagers feel the way you teenager.
● Place the sub-ordinate clause in
do. the middle of the sentence.
⮚ Begin with a connective Then, for the last two minutes, check
there are no errors.
Also, you have to remember
● Place the sub-ordinate clause at the
that many teenagers feel the end of the sentence.
way you do. Being a teenager is tough, although
working with them is much tougher!
⮚ Begin with a simile

Like volcanoes, teenagers are

always ready to erupt.
 A Recipe for an Article
Ingredients (five of everything) Recipe
1. Creative ideas a) For the first two minutes,
2. Paragraphs pour five creative ideas into
3. Persuasive/language techniques your plan.
4. Adverbs b) Mix in a sensible amount of
5. Adjectives
persuasive/language
6. Punctuation marks
7. Sentence structures
techniques.
8. Complex sentences c) Carefully add punctuation.
9. Connectives/linking phrases d) Bake for at least twenty five
minutes (checking
occasionally).
Optional e) Whizz in an imaginative
Structure: heading.
✔ Begin and end with the same sentence.
f) Then, for the last three
✔ Use an extended metaphor.
✔ Add a line or two of humour.
minutes, check there are no
errors.
 Past Paper Questions
SECTION B: Transactional Writing (June 2019)

Answer ONE question in this section. You should spend about 45 minutes on your chosen question.

EITHER

6 Your local newspaper has published an article with the headline ‘Young people today

lack any desire for adventure’. Write a letter to the editor of the newspaper expressing your views on this topic.

Your letter may include:

• the reasons why you agree or disagree with the statement

• what opportunities there are for young people to be adventurous

• any other points you wish to make.

Your response will be marked for the accurate and appropriate use of vocabulary, spelling, punctuation and grammar.
(Total for Question 6 = 45 marks)
OR
7 ‘The key to success in anything is being prepared.’

Write a section for a guide giving advice on the importance of preparation.

Your guide may include:

• what is meant by ‘being prepared’

• how preparation can contribute to success

• any other points you wish to make.

Your response will be marked for the accurate and appropriate use of vocabulary, spelling,

punctuation and grammar. (Total for Question 7 = 45 marks)

 June 2018
EITHER
6 ‘In our busy twenty-first century lives, hobbies and interests are more important than
ever.’ Write an article for a newspaper expressing your views on this statement.
Your article may include:
• what hobbies and interests you enjoy
• the benefits of hobbies and interests, especially in today’s world
• any other points you wish to make.
Your response will be marked for the accurate and appropriate use of vocabulary, spelling,
punctuation and grammar. Total for Question 6 = 45 marks)

OR

7 ‘We are harming the planet we live on and need to do more to improve the situation.’

You have been asked to deliver a speech to your peers in which you explain your

views on this statement.

Your speech may include:

• what harm peop le might be causing to the planet

OR
7 ‘We are harming the planet we live on and need to do more to improve the situation.’
You have been asked to deliver a speech to your peers in which you explain your
views on this statement.
Your speech may include:
• what harm people might be causing to the planet
• what is being done, or should be done, to improve the situation
• any other points you wish to make.
Your response will be marked for the accurate and appropriate use of vocabulary, spelling,
punctuation and grammar. (Total for Question 7 = 45 marks)
June 2020
EITHER

6 ‘Important lessons I have learned in my life.’

You have been asked to deliver a speech to your peers on this topic.
Your speech may include:

• what lessons you have learned

• how the things that you learned have affected or influenced you
• any other points you wish to make.
Your response will be marked for the accurate and appropriate use of vocabulary, spelling,

punctuation and grammar. (Total for Question 6 = 45 marks)

OR
7 Your local/school library wants to encourage young people to read more. Write the
text of a leaflet explaining the benefits of reading.
Your leaflet may include:
• the different ways in which reading can help people
• the reasons why young people may not spend much time on reading
• any other points you wish to make.

Your response will be marked for the accurate and appropriate use of vocabulary, spelling,
punctuation and grammar. (Total for Question 7 = 45 marks)
 What is a Review?
A review is where someone writes to inform other people
about a product, service or event. It might be:
[Link]

A product they have bought

A holiday they have been on
A restaurant they have visited
A film they have seen or book they have read
A company they have dealt with
An event they have attended

Reviews usually have a star rating out of five, and the tone
 Why are they useful?
Many people find reviews useful in deciding whether or
not to buy a product or visit a place. Hearing several
opinions helps them to make a more informed decision.

Reviews can be trusted more easily than a company’s

marketing and helps people feel more confident.

Well-written reviews can be very entertaining; some

people are now even paid money by companies just to
write reviews for them.
 What do they include?
Although a review takes a slightly different tone to a speech, many of the
literary techniques we looked at in speeches may prove useful for adding
impact to your review.

Here’s a reminder and some examples…

 Writing Techniques
Alliteration Repetition Personal Pronouns
The food was simply stunning… Brilliant graphics, We all loved Despicable Me, so
brilliant soundtrack… we are sure to love the

Triplet
Just brilliant! Fact Minions movie…
This phone is 200g lighter than the previous model…
It was dull, pointless and a waste of time…
s s
Think about how to use these in your own work…
Rhetorical Question Exaggeration
How could anyone not want this in their house?
I’ve had more fun watching paint dry…

Imperatives
You have to avoid this at all costs… Emotive language
Opinion I am thrilled and delighted
I thought the book was dreadful… with this new release!
[Link]
Top Tips
With nearly 75 percent of all customers seeking out product, business and service
reviews online before making purchases, it’s essential that your reviews be
truthful and informative.

Every good review should include a few things, including the Who, What, Why,
When, Where and How of your experience.

It’s also important to keep other customers in mind when you sit down to write
your review. Think about what you look for in online reviews and write in a similar
manner.

Be as specific as possible in your online reviews; it shows you cared about your
experience.

Companies also want to know what made your experience worthy of a review. Say
so in your review! They can sometimes overlook things like this, which is why it’s
important to let them know.
 Practice
You went to a restaurant with your family last weekend.
It was either the best meal you have ever eaten or the worst.
Decide which, then see if you can come up with an idea for each of
these techniques… 30 seconds for each!
Repetition Triplet
Alliteration s
Rhetorical Question
Exaggeration

Opinion Imperatives
Emotive language
[Link]

Model Review – what features can you see?

The menu is inviting, the service polished, the dishes attractively presented. The man
staging and conducting the show is José Andrés, the celebrated chef behind some of the
area’s most exciting restaurants.

The mission? To celebrate the rustic simplicity of regional American cookery. A small
fortune was lavished on the space… It ought to add up to something special. Or at least
something interesting.

But America Eats Tavern is contrived where it should be inspired, stiff where it should be
lived-in, and tone-deaf to the spirit of what it aspires to capture.

You’ll search in vain for any signs of passion. Or joy. But not for incongruities. Emblazoned
above the open kitchen are the first words of the Constitution: “We the People.” We the
people who charge $25 for a burger.

The remarkable thing is that America Eats has actually improved since it debuted two years
ago as a pop-up at the old Café Atlántico in Penn Quarter.

It’s a huge step up, after all, from “laughably awful” to “disappointingly bad.”
 Your Turn!
You went to a restaurant with your family last
weekend.

It was either the best meal you have ever

eaten or the worst.

You are to write an article for a London

newspaper about the restaurant.
 What did you learn?
What skills have you used in writing this
piece that you might not have done usually?

How are you going to apply this skill in future

[Link]

to make your writing more powerful and

effective?
 Remember…
A review is one of seven tasks that you could be asked to complete for your
GCSE Exam, so it’s important to get as much practice as possible.

tp://[Link]/wp-content/uploads/2014/01/[Link]
[Link] [Link]

Homework
Go on the internet and review something. Anything…
As long as you have one or have been there.

Print it out and bring it to me next lesson. We will use this to improve.

Sites such as Amazon are good to use.

Some
Funny
Reviews
of the
Hutzler
571
Banana
Slicer…
 Finally!!! I can quickly slice bananas without getting smashed banana
all over my tennis racquet. And the wheel-like shapes look so much
more appetizing than the mushy yellow rectangles you get from the
racquet. I don't even have to put my racquet in the dishwasher
Ianymore! Thanks
was an outsider. Hutzler!No
No purpose. What would
direction. I doclassmates
While without fostered
you? talents and
refined skills that would blossom into lucrative careers, I couldn't even eat paste
without choking. I was desperate. Alone. That is, until I found the ancient discipline
of banana slicing. The great unwashed masses sliced their bananas with a blithe
indifference. For me, the existential joy of a proportionally sliced banana had been
uncovered, laid bare before my disbelieving eyes. I had been reborn. Decades I
spent, training in the banana underground with banana masters of South America,
Southeast Asia and India. A patient student of the banana, I was meticulous.
Discipline. Dedication. Focus. These forged a master bananaman. I returned
stateside. The goal: A Banana Slicing Empire, built one evenly bite-sized banana
nugget at a time. ALAS! CURSED HUNTZLER 571 BANANA SLICER! My life's pursuit
lost to a safe and economical tool that slices bananas perfectly and is easy to clean!
Again I drift, guided only by the hope of turning my skill upon the unchecked
For decades I have been trying to come up What can I say about the 571B Banana Slicer
with an ideal way to slice a banana. "Use a that hasn't already been said about the wheel,
knife!" they say. Well...my parole officer won't penicillin, or the iPhone.... this is one of the
allow me to be around knives. "Shoot it with a greatest inventions of all time. My husband
gun!" Background check...HELLO! I had to and I would argue constantly over who had to
resort to carefully attempt to slice those cut the day's banana slices. It's one of those
bananas with my bare hands. 99.9% of the chores NO ONE wants to do! You know, the
time, I would get so frustrated that I just old "I spent the entire day rearing OUR
ended up squishing the fruit in my hands and children, maybe YOU can pitch in a little and
throwing it against the wall in anger. Then, cut these bananas?" and of course, "You think
after a fit of banana-induced rage, my parole I have the energy to slave over your damn
officer introduced me to this kitchen marvel bananas? I worked a 12 hour shift just to come
and my life was changed. No longer consumed home to THIS?!" These are the things that can
by seething anger and animosity towards destroy an entire relationship. It got to the
thick-skinned yellow fruit, I was able to point where our children could sense the
concentrate on my love of theatre and am tension. The minute I heard our 6-year-old girl
writing a musical play about two lovers from in her bedroom, re-enacting our daily banana
rival gangs that just try to make it in the world. fight with her Barbie dolls, I knew we had to
I think I'll call it South Side Story. make a change. That's when I found the 571B
Banana Slicer. Our marriage has never been