Humorous Bank Robbery Scene
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ScribdTranslationsHumorous Bank Robbery Scene
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ScribdTranslationsBANK ROBBERY
(While they are doing their routine things at the bank, two people with masks
they enter and shout
– The Thief: !!!This is a robbery!!! !!!Hands up, monkeys!!! (The customer and the cashier look at each other confused.
He puts the tip of the gun to his head and looks somewhat thoughtful. No, wait.
– El Gandaya: (He says to him in his ear and in a low voice) It is said, 'Hands up'
– El Pillo: Ah, you’re right! Hands up!!!
(The two react and just begin to get scared)
The Thief: I want you to give me all the money you have! For today!
The Cashier: Very well. Can you give me your account number, please?
– El Pillo: Yes, note it is the... (El Gandaya hits his companion on the head)
– El Gandaya: Don't be stupid, man! (Looks at the manager) Put everything in these bags and quickly!
The attendant: Yes, right away! (She is going to put the money in the bags she gave them).
The Client: But where is the police when you need them!?
(At that moment, the officer comes out of the bathroom; lazy and totally indifferent to the situation)
– The Police Officer: Oh, how delicious! (Turns and sees the Cashier and the Client lying on the ground face down) What
What are you doing there? Is the floor hot or what? (She points her finger at the assailants)
What’s happening? (Turns and sees the gun muzzles in his face) (Gets scared and starts to scream)
!!!Mooooom!!!! (Instantly kneels down and joins hands) Please, don't kill me, I have
wife with two children and maybe others around there!... I don’t know but please don’t kill me for your
pretty little mother!
– The Client: Hey! What kind of police officer are you, that you don't fulfill your duty by apprehending...
Those rascals!?
The Policeman: (Takes the gun from the Thief and shows it to the Client) And what, haven't you seen the size?
What weapon do you have!? (It is returned to the assailant)
The Customer: (Holding their head) And I pay my taxes for this?
– El Gandaya: Get down you too! Quickly!!!
– The Policeman: I'm coming! I'm coming! (He throws himself on the ground, next to the Customer and she says to him)
The Client: (Says sarcastically) "Now that you are by my side, I feel calmer!"
- The Policeman: Oh really? And what do you think? That I'm Superman, that bullets hit me and bounce off?
The Client: Just shut your mouth already!
(The Cashier arrives with the bags of money)
– The Cashier: (Gives it to him/her all scared) Here it is.
– El Gandaya: I hope everything is okay.
The Cashier: If you want, you can count it.
– The Pillo: Let's see… (Opens the bag and, taking out the money, begins to count) 100, 200, 300… (The
Gandaya takes her companion's hand and looks at him with angry eyes) But partner! We have to
to be sure that we lack nothing...
– The Gandaya: Hold… that… now… Okay?
– The Thief: Very well, but then don't come to complain that you've been robbed, okay?
– The Gandaya: If you don't shut up now, you will be on the ground with them.
- The Thief: Don't complain later, no more...
– El Gandaya: Finally!!! (Looks at the Client and the Cashier) Well, well, these gentlemen are taking their time.
Thank you very much for your collaboration.
– El Pillo: Yes, and for any robbery or kidnapping, here is our card (He hands them out while
they look at them with curiosity)
– El Gandaya: This... (Extends his hand towards the card) Can you lend it to me for a moment?
– El Pillo: Yes, I just sent them to be made, do you like it? (He starts to read it and while doing so, the
the expression on his face begins to change
– The Policeman: Unbelievable! Now even the thieves are doing their "cherry"! What's up, people!
– The Client: You shut up, you're a complete useless for a police officer!
The Police Officer: Hey, I don't allow you to insult me! The police deserves respect!
– The Client: "What 'the police deserve respect'! If you only serve to eat and go"
to the bathroom! (The robbers discuss silently about the card)
– El Gandaya: But you spent the money on this!? What were you thinking!?
– The Policeman: A chicken leg. Yes, that's all I could eat. Will you forgive me? But, do you know
What do you look like?
– El Pillo: To 'Aunt Camote', I had her take care of the cards.
– El Gandaya: Look, forget it and let's go (Go to the people) Well, it was a pleasure doing business with
you all, we are leaving (The two are delaying pointing their weapons at them while the others...
they remain on the ground scared, until they left. A few seconds later, El Pillo enters.
quickly and leaves them the card
– The Pillo: (Speaks in a low voice) Right down here is the number, call us (As soon as you leave them the
card, it leaves. Everyone stays looking at him very surprised and puzzled. Then, they get up.
– The Policeman: (All cheesy, takes the floor) You were lucky this time (The Client looks at him with
indignation.
The Customer: Look, it's better for you to be quiet before you upset me (She goes to the Cashier and finds her.
(putting on makeup) And you, what are you doing?
The Cashier: Oh well, with all this, I dropped all my makeup!
The Police Officer: Well, as for me, this fight has made me hungry. I'll be right back, I'm going to eat!
The Client: Hey! And where do you think you're going!?
– The Policeman: What? Do you also want a little sandwich? We have chicken, pork...
The Client: What a sandwich, not even 'eight quarters'! What needs to be done is to investigate this assault.
to catch the robbers!
The Cashier: The only thing this traps is a stuffed potato with salad.
The Policeman: And a little bit of chili.
– The Client: This is the height of insolence! I'm leaving here! (She completely withdraws, annoyed)
The Policeman: Well, I'm going to eat. I'll be right back (He leaves completely unconcerned)
The Cashier: And taking advantage of the fact that there are no customers, I'm gonna go to the bathroom to put on my makeup. (She leaves walking)
like a runway model)
End