WISDOM IN A NUTSHELL
Destination Success
A Map For Living Out Your Dreams
By
Dwight Bain
Revell; 2003
ISBN 971-789-098-0
240 pages
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The Big Idea
Have you ever wondered why you aren’t more successful? Or why others find
success more easily? Do you feel that you have not lived out your hopes and
dreams and are about to give them up? Have you caught a glimpse of a better
life but failed to go after it?
Don’t let your life slip away day by day without even taking a step towards your
dream of a better life. Destination Success by Dwight Bain shows that you need
not give up on your hopes and dreams just yet. By revealing the Seven Secrets
of Success, Bain describes how everyone can be successful and live the life one
wants.
Success Secret Number 1: Define What Success Means
To You
What does it mean to be successful? Many people never achieve success simply
because they don’t know what it is, because they don’t know what success
means for them. So the first secret to success is to define what success means
to you.
Success means different things to different people. It can mean financial wealth
and security, having a comfortable life, a great career, fame, owning the right
house, car, and other luxuries, having as much leisure time as you want, being
healthy, having happy relationships.
To define what success means to you, you first need to let go of the self-
destructive mentality that stops you from picturing a better life. Start thinking like
a champion.
Picture your dream. Ask yourself what your most important, heartfelt dream is
and start from there.
Your Success Map
Describe what success means to you by writing down what the following mean to
you:
• Physical Health
• Emotional Health
• Spiritual Health
• Financial Stability
• Career and Professional
• Social Support
• Closest Relationships
• Time and Schedule
• Learning and Personal Growth
• Recreation and Fun
Success Secret Number 2: You Can Find Success
Anywhere
You were created to accomplish great things – it is your destiny. We can have
success in spite of everyone else and in spite of any circumstance. This is
because success is not an “out there” concept; it is inside you. You can rewrite
the script of your life to start right now to have a better time in every area.
Success is a mental resolve to keep growing through any circumstance. Stop
thinking of yourself as average and that “success will never happen to you.” This
means breaking away from the “normal” or what is expected. Be abnormal. Live
beyond what is average. Maximize your potential and get ready for even better
things in the future.
Success Secret Number 3: Get Past Your Self-Imposed
Limits
When you create limits in your mind, you can never get past them. When you
believe something to be impossible, you will leave it alone. Imposing limits on
yourself are your biggest roadblocks to a successful life. This may include
thinking you’re not smart enough, or beautiful enough, or good enough.
Facing and moving beyond those limits are going to be the greatest challenges to
the life you want. Consider: thousands of things once thought impossible are now
commonplace – airplanes that fly, the four-minute mile, etc.
Imposing limits on yourself is self-sabotage. This is the most dangerous part of
yourself that you need to watch out for and move beyond. This is the part that
lives in your deepest fears and doubts.
To overcome this part of you, you will not only need to give up on some of your
false beliefs, but you will need to burn the bridge leading back to them as well.
Instead, you start the journey across the bridge to a better life.
How do you break through the barriers of your fears, self-imposed limits and self-
destructive tendencies? Search your heart. Try to uncover any hidden areas of
weakness limiting you from the life you desire to live. Identify active and passive
self-destructive behavior.
Active self destructive behavior include:
• Alcoholism
• Drug addiction (prescriptive or illegal)
• Sex addiction
• Gambling addiction
• Food addiction
• Rage (explosive disorders)
Passive self-destructive behaviors include:
• Media addiction
• Procrastination
• Irresponsible behavior
• Immaturity
• Perfectionism
• Critical whining
• Workaholism
• Escapism
• Materialism
• Consumerism
• Infatuation (romantic and lustful daydreams that could lead to sex
addiction)
• Past abuse and trauma
After you have identified what self-destructive behavior you have, you need to
deal with these issues. Dealing with self-sabotage begins with an awareness that
you alone are ultimately responsible for your future. Remember, you can go
forward in any direction if you deal with your personal roadblocks.
Success Secret Number 4: Develop Personal Discipline
To Discover Your Destiny
Remember, successful people take the responsibility to build a better life. A
successful life is your responsibility, no one else’s. This secret will help you
transform your thinking, because it is directly linked with the power of your own
potential. Thus, you need to take ownership of your life.
Lasting success is available, but it waits on you to show up and claim it. You
have to keep growing and developing. You have to desire it and work at it. You
have a responsibility to live out the destiny of a better life.
Growing into the man or woman you were designed to be is one of the most
important things you can do today. It means that you will be reading books,
listening to tapes or CDs, and partnering with people who can help you on your
journey to lasting success.
It means you will take the responsibility to face your personal issues and develop
a daily discipline for living better. It is time to feel completely alive, to live life fully,
and celebrate the blessings you have been given by God.
This means you will need to learn some new skills and apply some new insights
to make disciplined personal development happen and set a new course to
capture your destiny.
Paradigm Shift- From Disappointment To Delight
People who achieve and hold on to lasting success follow this formula:
-- Distractions, dead ends, and detours lead to disaster – a life filled with
disappointment!
-- Discipline, development, and direction lead to destiny – a life filled with
delight!
Thus, learn to discipline yourself daily to practice skills that will drive you closer to
your lifetime destiny.
Success Secret Number 5: Belief Is Your Hidden Source
Of Inner Strength
The success formula begins with your belief system. Your core beliefs are the
foundation of the important things in your life. Priorities, values, and convictions
are established from early childhood experiences as well as exposure to positive
or negative role models.
What you believe about education, marriage, hard work, money, reading, travel,
politics, and religion, as well as a thousand other subjects, ultimately will be
reflected in how you live. You need to examine these beliefs to gain personal
insight on what you really believe in.
What you believe about your life will make it better or worse. Belief is your hidden
power. Belief can become your greatest strength or your greatest weakness. If
you believe that you will ultimately win at an event, you have a hidden source of
power in your performance. If you believe that you are going to lose, you are
dragging an anchor that will limit, if not destroy, your chances.
Believing differently will help you to behave differently. You can instantly reshape
your belief about a problem or difficulty with this hidden power. For instance, if
you are financially discouraged, considering another perspective will give you the
power to change your feelings.
Author David Schwartz said, “Where success is concerned, people are not
measured in inches or pounds, or college degrees, or family background. They
are measured by the size of their thinking. How big we think determines the size
of our accomplishments.”
Thus, in terms of belief, the formula is: Belief – Behavior.
If you know your beliefs and live them, your behavior will match. You will feel the
power of living out what you believe. This correlation of belief and behavior will
help you live more consistently on the journey to the life you want.
Here’s how the belief formula works:
• If you believe it, you live it.
• I believe I can make a difference. = I work hard.
• I believe I should act responsibly. = I act responsibly.
• I believe reading is a key to lasting success. = I read.
• I believe in the value of people. = I treat others with respect.
• I believe I should help others. = I help people in need as I can.
• I believe I should manage money wisely. = I don’t waste money.
• I believe body care is important. = I eat, sleep and exercise well.
• I believe family relationships are important. = I spend time with my family.
• I believe God is an important part of my life. = I worship God regularly.
• I believe my opportunities increase as I network. = I network in my
business.
• I believe in saving money for emergencies. = I save money and don’t
touch it.
• I believe life is short and should be filled with meaning. = I don’t waste
time.
• I believe communication is the key to better relationships. = I
communicate.
• I believe I am a person of great worth. = I value my life and manage it
wisely.
• I believe I am a success. = I live like a success.
How do you experience the hidden power of a personal belief system? There are
three steps to doing this:
1. Direct awareness. Open your mind to the possibility that you can change
your belief about a situation and that this can cause you to change how
effectively you deal with the situation. Becoming aware that a better life or
situation is possible will stretch your thinking to a higher level.
2. Honest assessment. Focus on what you believe about every significant
part of your life by listing short statements beginning with, “I believe..”
3. Aggressive action. Once you establish what you believe, take immediate
action. Don’t let another day slip by without focusing on what you can do
to improve your situation in life and to add value to others. When you
know what to do, get up and do it.
Success Secret Number 6: Opportunity
Some of us tend to think that we could have been successful, but we never had
the opportunity. But successful people have discovered how to find opportunity
regardless of the circumstances. Albert Einstein said, “In the middle of difficulty
lies opportunity.”
In 1931, Charles Darrow lost his job along with countless others because of the
Great Depression. But instead of becoming depressed, Darrow used his
unemployment to unleash his creative ability and created the game Monopoly
right on his kitchen table. He pitched the game to the company Parker Brothers
and was rejected. So he decided to market the game himself, and amidst the
depression, managed to sell it to people on the streets. So successful was he
that in the end, Parker Brothers did buy his game. Darrow earned millions from
the sale and the royalties.
So you can let the challenges of life bring out your best and creatively find
opportunities for success, or you can curl up in bed and pull the covers over your
head. You can also wait around for opportunities to come by, but it might never
show up, or failure will.
Successful people know about opportunity. They know how to find it, and more
importantly, what to do with it. Thus, no matter what is going on around you, you
must learn to pinpoint and then ‘lock in’ on activities that will lead you to
accomplish your goals.
To find opportunity, try thinking differently and innovatively about situations, to
look for creative opportunities that open new doors to success. You can search
for opportunities; sometimes they will find you. Learning the power of this secret
will help you every day, because you will be utilizing what I call a “success
magnet.”
The bigger the magnet, the bigger the things you can pick up. Likewise, the
bigger your opportunity magnet, the more you will attract the right people and
situations to help you toward your destination. One successful thing always leads
to another. It’s a law of the universe.
Begin to view life as a series of wonderful opportunities, and you will see things
that absolutely amaze you. You will see opportunities and possibilities that you
never knew existed. Difficulties in life could steal this vision and focus, but you
have the choice to not let this happen. To protect your opportunity magnet from
losing energy for finding positive answers, use this strategy:
Potential Level
----------------------------
Problem Level
Stay above the problem level of life by viewing the potential level. As you get
above the problems, you will see the unique opportunities and options for solving
those problems.
What To Do When Opportunity Comes
When you do find opportunities, you need to be prepared to take them up and
follow them through. Discovering and managing opportunity take insight, skill,
patience, and a clear vision to see thing the way they can be.
Success Secret Number 7: Excellence
The dictionary is the only place where success comes before work. The effort to
achieve excellence is part of the joy of living a life of meaning and fulfillment.
Success doesn’t arrive when you are handed the trophy. Success is when you
get up early and take the right steps to live like a winner.
Therefore, learn to view success like an iceberg: the tip shows at all times but
represents just a fraction of what is underneath. As you discipline yourself to live
a life of hard work that is focused on your destination of success, you will do
hundreds of things no one will ever see. An insightful person knows that true
success is bigger than most people realize and that it requires a daily discipline
to move forward to achieve goals.
Successful people live differently because they believe that achievement comes
in proportion to their commitment to hard work and personal excellence. Oliver
Wendell Holmes said, “It is effort that makes the inevitable come to pass.”
Successful people achieve results because of their extraordinary effort.
Become a person known for achievement and you will find that success begins to
show up more and more often. This is true in business, family relationships, and
personal health. Push yourself to achieve your best, not just sometimes, but
every time. Remember, if you skip work, success will skip you.
Personal excellence will enhance professional performance. As you implement a
commitment to quality in everything you do, you will notice two things. First, your
successes will come much more often and usually be greater than you imagined.
Second, you will notice how poorly others follow this success strategy.
The commitment to personal excellence is a way of life that doesn’t require luck
because it’s all about work – continual research, focus groups, beta testing,
benchmarking, practical application, testing, retesting and learning from every
failed attempt.
Striving for excellence is tough sometimes, but working to reach the goal is part
of the satisfaction. Success requires a complete commitment to excellence.
Final Insight: Success Is A Mindset
In the end, success is a mindset. It is managing your moods and motivations.
Managing your moods requires discipline to control your impulses while keeping
a positive attitude no matter what happens. Mastering your motivations is
discovering and harnessing the powerful drives in your soul. It is understanding
the reason you were born. It is living a life of meaning, of being on a mission to
share success with others.