English Drama Assignment

XB
April 2008

Red Riding Cap

based on untrue story

Cast:
Pratama Eka Dharma as Red Riding Cap
Ryan Swaine as Wolvie
Tonny Sutiono as the Woodsman
Kevin Giovani as Grandpa / Narator
Cecilia Setiawan as Mommy / Narator

Plot:
Once upon a time, in a far away village, Grandpa was ill. So Mommy urged her son, the
boy known as Red Riding Cap, to travel across the Forbidden Forest to bring poor
Grandpa some food… A very special fruit. Unbeknownst to the boy, the Forest was
enchanted, and it was content with unspeakable terror and danger awaited in the form of a
hungry Wolf… But was the beast the only threat along the way? Would Red survive the
day? Who would come to the rescue? Well, would anyone even care to rescue them?
 Act I

Fairytale Or What?

(Setting: Red’s Home)

Narator : Once upon this time, in a far far away village called, well, the Village,

lives a boy who loves wearing a red cap so much, all the time, and so he

earned the name Red Riding Cap. He lives with his mother in a tiny cozy

hut. This tale begins on one fine morning…

Mommy : (gasps) Gracious goodness me! The sky must have fallen! (from “Chicken

Licken”)

Red : (screams and runs) Kyaaa! Run and save your lives!

Mommy : Huh?

Red : But you said the sky has fallen?

Mommy : That’s just an idiom, stupid. Look, I’ve just received an sms from your

Grandpa, that lousy grumpy useless old man. He’s ill, and he got no more

food left.

Red : Oh, then should I bring him some?

Mommy : I was considering leaving him starving to death, but since you’re willing

to go to his house, that would be excellent.

(Mommy prepares food basket)

Narator : It so happens that Grandpa lives in the woods, half an hour from the

village. So…
Mommy : Here you go, Son. This is a poisonous apple… (grins evilishly) I mean,

nutritionous apple for my father-in-law. Remember one thing: Grandpa

must eat this apple immediately! Do not leave the pathway, or you’ll get

lost.

Red : Okay Mom. (leaves)

Mommy : Ihihihihihihi.

Narator : Poor Grandpa! I know, I know, that’s the legendary poisonous apple from

the Snow White fairytale! This evil woman will use it to kill the poor old

man in order to get his inheritance! Anyone please help Grandpa!!!

Mommy : (to Narator) Shut up! Don’t mess up with my brilliant plan! I’ll be rich!

Narator : (to self) Hmm, I wonder what the poisonous apple is doing here in this

story…

(Setting: Forbidden Forest)

(Red enters, breakdances while listening to iPod)

Narator : Well, unacknowledged by Red Riding Cap, this Forbidden Forest is full of

terrifying creatures and nasty beasts, and the meanest, wickest, ugliest

among them all is… The Wolf.

(Wolf howls)

Red : (shivers) Yikes! What’s that? Scooby-Doo, where are youuu?

(Kunti jumps in)

Red : (screams girlishly) Kyaaaa! Syaitan! (peeks through his fingers)

Director : Cut! Cut! Wrong actor! This is the production of Red Riding Cap, not

Dunia Lain! Get out!

(Kunti walks out, Wolvie jumps in)

Narator : Red Riding Cap has never met a wolf before, so he isn’t scared at all. And

the Wolf speaks…

Red : (to Narator) Wait a second! What year is it now?

Narator : (checks the script) Er, supposedly 18th century.

Red : Nah! According to every encyclopedia and historical documents, there has

never been any case of an animal speaks! Wolves can’t speak! (Wolvie

sobs) So would anyone explain to me why this Wolf can speak?

Narator : Er, because this is just a fairytale?

Red : Oh.

Narator : What a moron. So, the Wolf speaks…

Wolf : Good day to you boy, you’re the Red Riding Cap, aren’t you?

Red : Yes I am. Good day to you too, [Link].

Wolf : I’m not a dog! I’m a wolf!

Red : Yes, [Link], I think you’re a very cute dog.

Wolf : Aaaargh! Where are you going so early, Red?

Red : To Grandpa’s house. I’m bringing him some food from my mom.

Narator : The Wolf thinks to himself…

Wolf : (to self) Now that sounds yummy. (counts) A grandpa, a little boy and

some fruit for dessert.

Wolf : (to Red) Where does your Grandpa live, Red Riding Cap?
Red : (innocently takes out a map) Not far. (Wolf takes notes / draws on the

whiteboard) We’re in the middle of the Forest, so walk straight north for

50 metres, then turn west, then walk 87 steps to your left, then take a bus

to the nearest McD, then walk north for 90,35 centimetres ahead. For

further information you can send an e-mail to

grandpa_cute_and_lonely@[Link].

Wolf : (looks at drawing/notes) That’s just the same as if you tell me to walk

straight north from here!

Red : Oh, I love reading maps.

Wolf : (sighs) Nice to speak to you, Red Riding Cap.

Red : Yeah, me too, [Link]. Have a nice trip.

Narator : And it so happens that the Wolf knows a shortcut to Grandpa’s house,

thanks to a new busway route by Fauzi Bowo. But unfortunately this

shortcut leads him to the Woodsman’s place.

Woodsman : Baaa! Where are you going so hurrily, Wolvie?

Wolf : (surprised) Kyaaa!

Woodsman : Hmm, you look suspicious.

Wolf : I-I-I’m going to Grandpa’s house!

Woodsman : A house? Is there any house around here?

Wolf : Y-y-yes! A few metres ahead!

Woodsman : (to self) Hmm, I would really like a house. I’m homeless and these days

apartments are so expensive!

Woodsman : (to Wolf) What are you going to do at Grandpa’s house?

Wolf : Umm, have supper!

Woodsman : Have supper with Grandpa or have Grandpa as supper?

Wolf : Aih.

Woodsman : I won’t let you! Banzaaai! (attacks)

(Wolf and Woodsman fight ala Matrix)

Who would win? Would Grandpa lose his life or his house? Who would come to rescue

them all? Who was the real mastermind behind everything? Would cute and lonely

Grandpa receive an e-mail from the Wolf?

Act II

To Eat Or Not To Eat

(Setting: Forbidden Forest)

Narator : And back to the ring, the Wolf is in the red corner and the Woodsman is in

the blue corner, punch, punch!

Wolf : Eat this! (Wolverine’s ultimate attack)

Woodsman : Nooooo! (faints)

Wolf : Yay! (girls applause and screams)

Narator : Kyaaaa! Wolvie! Ai lap yu! Ehm. Well, thanks to the advantage of the

busway shortcut, the Wolf manages to reach Grandpa’s house faster than

Red does.

(Setting: Grandpa’s Hut)

Wolf : (arrives) Finally! Meal time! Wehehehehe. (produces fork and knife)

(Wolf crashes in)

Grandpa : (on bed) Gracious goodness me! A very big dog! The sky must have

fallen! I must go and tell the King!

Narator : No, wait, that’s not the correct line!

Wolf : Besides, I’m not a dog!!! Can everyone please stop calling me a dog?!

Grandpa : (pulls script out from beneath pillow) Ow, okay, I see.

Director : Cut! Cut! Let’s start over, everyone! Camera, roll… Action! Star Mild!

Wolf : Finally! Meal time! Wehehehehe. (produces fork and knife)

(Wolf crashes in)

Grandpa : (on bed, with a binocular) Yikes! An evil Wolf is coming! I must hide!

(Grandpa hides under the bed)

Wolf : (creepy voice) Grandpa… Delicious old Grandpa… Come out, come out,

wherever you are. Bruakakakak.

Narator : But all of a sudden…

Red : (arrives) Yo! Grandpa! I’m coming Bro!

Wolf : Whot?! That boy! What must I do? Oh, I’d better pretend to be Grandpa.

(Wolf jumps onto bed)

Red : Granddaddy! I have some food from Mommy!

Wolf : (clears throat) Ehm. (with silly voice) Aww, sweetheart, come here.

Red : (approaches) Oh Grandpa, what big ears you have!

Wolf : All the better to hear you with.

Red : What big eyes you have!

Wolf : All the better to see you with.

Red : What big hands you have!

Wolf : All the better to grab you with!

Red : What a horribly big mouth you have!

Wolf : All the better to eat you with! (growls)

Red : Kyaaa! Help!

(Woodsman suddenly breaks in)

Woodsman : (to Wolf) We haven’t finished yet! (produces a light-saber)

Wolf : (also produces a light-saber) May the Force be with you.

(Wolf and Woodman fight ala Star Wars)

Woodsman : (stabs on Wolf) Ha! The Force indeed is with me!

(Wolf dies, out of scene)

Woodsman : (to Red and Grandpa in a very cool way) Do not fear, the monster has

been defeated.

Red & Grandpa: Aaaaw. (wink) (girls applause and scream)

Red : Oh the mighty Woodsman, as a gift for your bravery, please have this

nutritionous apple my mother has prepared for my grandpa. (gives apple)

Grandpa : Wait, isn’t that supposed to be my meal?

Red : Shut up, old man! He deserves a gift more than you do!

Grandpa : (sobs) I’m hungry…

Woodsman : (to self) Hmm, okay then. I will eat this apple first to please them, and then

kill them both and then rule this house forever.

Woodsman : Well thank you. I’m honored. (eats apple)

(Woodsman chokes, then dies)

Red & Grandpa : Whot?!!!

Red : (to Narator) What the [censored] is happening?

Narator : (checks script) Er, it turns out your mother has poisoned the apple to kill

your Grandpa in order to get his house and his money.

Grandpa : That little [censored] ! I knew it!

Red : Huh, my mom? What a [censored]! What a stupid story!

Woodsman : (wakes up) Yeah, so stupid! This [censored] house is supposed to be mine!

Wait a second, this house is ugly! I don’t even wanna have it!

Grandpa : That script is so pointless! I don’t have any important lines besides,

“Aww!”

Red : Yeah, and what the [censored] with this thing! (throws cap away) I don’t

even like red! I love pink! Can’t I be the Pink Riding Barbie instead?

Wolf : (suddenly enters) And I will never ever eat him! (points at Grandpa) I’m

not Sumanto! That son of a [censored] doesn’t look delicious at all!

Red : (points at Wolf) Plus that [censored] dog should not speak!

Wolf : How many times I have to tell you [censored] idiot people! I’m not a

[censored] dog! I’m a [censored] wolf!

Narator : Shut up! Everyone, stop swearing!!!

Wolf : Why the [censored] What the [‘censored’ keeps beeping]

Narator : Yaaah, error!

(Everyone kills Narator)

Grandpa : (grabs script) And so without the Narator, we all live happily ever after!

The end!

-The End-