40 Qur’anic Advices For

A Blissful Marriage

Compiled by: Darul Ihsan Humanitarian Centre

South Africa

First Edition: June 2024

Published by: Darul Ihsan Humanitarian Centre

70 Joyce Road
Sea Cow Lake
Durban

Tel: 08611 IHSAN (44726)

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Published By:
 Contents

Foreword 1
Don’t be a perfectionist in marriage 9
Be positive 10
Your partner is ordained 11
Accept diversity 12
Recognize diversity in temperament 13
Do your duty to forgo one’s rights 14
No person is perfect 15
Make a from commitment 16
Be considerate 17
Be grateful 18
Be reasonable and objective 19
Avoid suspicions 20
Give opportunity 21
Avoid justi cation 22
Suppress your anger 23
Make up quickly 24
Listen attentively 25
Good communication 26
Compromise 27
Consultation with each other 28
Balance rights 29
Humour 30
Romance 31
Be polite 32
Forgive and overlook 33
Forget the past 34
Show respect 35
Assist each other 36
Take interest 37
Beware of abuse 38
Maintain con dentiality 39
Spend time away 40
Free time 41
Adopt piety 42
Money matters 43
Medical checkups 44
Black magic and misinformation 45
Introspection 46
Accountability 47
Supplication 48
 FOREWORD
Mufti Zubair Bayat (Ha zahullah)
Ameer of Darul Ihsan Humanitarian Centre
Durban - South Africa

Marriage is an injunction of Allah Ta'ala, a great Sunnah of the

Ambiya u and the very foundation of family life and indeed
human life on earth.

Every means must be adopted to strengthen marriages and to

remove possible factors of disruption to the harmony of marital
life.

Education relating to the factors of success in marriage is

absolutely essential. Marital counselling for couples experiencing
marital con ict is imperative.

Over the years, I had to mediate in many cases of marital dispute

between couples. Relevant advices were given to the couples to
help and guide them overcome their challenges. ese were then

1
published in the form of a lea et titled, '40 Secrets for a Blissful
Marriage'. Subsequently, Moulana Muhammed Ameer
(Ha zahullah) developed this lea et into a booklet, embellishing
it with appropriate verses of Qur'an Shareef and supplications
from Qur'an and Sunnah.

May Allah Ta'ala accept this effort and make it very bene cial for
the Ummah.

Was Salam
Zubair Bayat
1 May 2024 – 21 Shawwal 1445

2
 FOREWORD
Moulana Yusuf Patel (Ha zahullah)
Secretary General of United Ulama Council of South Africa

Marriage is a Skilled Based Relationship

Marriage can be a source of enormous tranquillity, and self-

ful lment, yet can become the root of the greatest heartbreaks,
pain, and sorrow. e very bond that is meant to provide joy and
happiness, can also produce the deepest hurt and sorrow. A
marriage certi cate, a grand wedding, or a sparkling diamond ring
is no guarantee of everlasting bliss. It takes more than money and
dreams to make a marriage work.

Human beings are neither perfect nor perfectly matched. e

quest for zero defect in our spouses is therefore neither practical
nor possible. A prosperous union has less to do with forging
compatibility and more to do with how we deal with
incompatibility. Even the most trying moments in marital
relations can be overcome by following this one piece of prophetic

3
advice. "No believing man should totally detest a believing
woman (who is his wife). If he dislikes something in her, there
would be something else in her that he would like." (Sahih
Muslim)

We often tend to overlook the ninety-nine good qualities in our

spouses and focus on the one bad quality or habit of our spouse.
What we see in our spouses depends on what we look for. If we
consciously look for the good in our spouses, we will nd a
reservoir of good!

e dominant need of the male in marriage is to feel respected;

whilst the dominant need of the female is to feel loved. ' e 40
Qur'anic Advises for a Blissful Marriage' is meant to help couples
nurture the twin pillars of respect and love in their marriage. It
provides a formula to personify the Qur'anic verse that says:”
... ey are your garments and you are their garments." (2:187)

A garment offers comfort, warmth, dignity and beauty. It conceals

our shameful parts and gives us respectability. e topics covered
in this short treatise is to help us harness skills so that we may
serve as 'garments' to our spouses. Garments are not held together

4
by a few big knots, but by thousand little stitches of thread.
Likewise, it is the continuous thread of small words and acts each
day of our lives that 'weave' us together. May this compilation
serve a beacon of hope and guidance for both married couples and
those contemplating marriage. It is an invaluable summation of
the years of experience in the eld of counselling and
psychotherapy of our respected Mufti Zubair Bayat. (May Allah
prolong his life and reward him for his services)

Was Salaam
Yusuf Patel
5 May 2024 – 25 Shawwal 1445

5
 FOREWORD
Moulana Abdus Samad I. Daya (Ha zahullah)
Lecturer, Author and prominent Scholar - South Africa

‫ﻧﺤﻤﺪه وﻧﺼﻠﻲ ﻋﻠﻲ رﺳﻮ ﻟﻪ اﻟﻜﺮﻳﻢ‬

Alhamdulillah, I am humbled and honoured to be given this

opportunity to pen a foreword for this booklet. I have perused
through this insightful booklet on marriage, a timeless institution
that has been the cornerstone of human society for centuries. In
an era marked by rapid change and evolving norms, the essence of
Nikah remains steadfast - a union of hearts, minds, and souls,
bound by love, commitment, and mutual respect.

In the ensuing pages, you will embark on a journey through the

myriad facets of marriage, with pertinent corroboration from the
Noble Qur'an and Ahadith, exploring its joys, challenges, and
profound signi cance in our lives. Whether you are embarking on
this journey for the rst time or re ecting on years of partnership,
this booklet offers wisdom, guidance, and encouragement for the
various stages of the marital adventure.
6
Nikah is not merely a legal contract or social convention; it is a
sacred covenant between two individuals, a promise to journey
together through life's triumphs and tribulations, to support each
other's dreams, and to grow together as individuals and as
partners. It is a bond forged in the crucible of shared experiences,
laughter, tears, and the everyday moments that de ne our lives.

Marriage is an evolving dynamic that requires nurturing,

communication, and a willingness to embrace change. In these
pages, you will nd practical advice on communication, con ict
resolution, and a myriad of ingredients that contribute to a
ful lling and enduring marriage.

As you immerse yourself in the wisdom contained within these

pages, may you nd inspiration, encouragement, and a renewed
appreciation for the sacred bond. Whether you are embarking on
this journey, deepening your commitment or celebrating a
lifetime of love, may this booklet serve as a guiding light,
illuminating the path to a marriage lled with joy, ful lment and
love.

7
I wish to express my profound gratitude to Darul Ihsan Centre for
this enlightening booklet. May it be a source of spiritual bene t to
the Ummah and may it nd acceptance in the Court of Allah.
Aameen.

Ml. Abdus Samad I. Daya

09 May 2024 – 29 Shawwaal 1445

8
 #1
DON'T BE A PERFECTIONIST
IN MARRIAGE

Qur’anic Guidance

َ ْ ُ َ ْ ُ ‫وإﻟ ْ ََﻴﻨﺎ‬
‫ﺗﺮﺟﻌﻮن‬ ً َ ْ ِ ‫واﻟﺨﻴﺮ‬
ِ ◌َ ،‫ﻓﺘﻨﺔ‬ ِ ّ َّ ِ ‫وﻧﺒﻠﻮﻛﻢ‬
ِ ْ َ ْ َ ‫ﺑﺎﻟﺸﺮ‬ ْ ُ َُْْ َ
And we will test you with difficulty and goodness as a form a trial,
and you shall return to us (to give accountability)
(Surah Ambiya - Verse 35)

No marriage is perfect. All marriages could have some problems,

till the end. is should be regarded as a test from Allah which
requires Sabr (patience), tolerance and forgiveness.

Supplication
ِ ِ ‫وﻓﻲ ا‬ ِ َ ِ ‫رﺑﻨﺎ‬
‫اﻟﻨﺎ ِر‬
َّ ‫ﻋﺬاب‬ َ ِ َّ ‫ﺣﺴﻨﺔ‬
َ َ َ ‫وﻗﻨﺎ‬ ً َ َ َ ‫ْﻵﺧﺮة‬
َ
ِ َّ ‫ﺣﺴﻨﺔ‬
َ ْ ُّ ‫آﺗﻨﺎ ﻓﻲ اﻟ‬
ً َ َ َ ‫ﺪﻧﻴﺎ‬ َ َّ َ
Our Lord! Give us in this world [that which is] good and in the
Hereafter [that which is] good and protect us from the punishment
of the fire.
(Surah Al Baqarah - Verse 201)

9
 #2
BE POSITIVE

Qur’anic Guidance
ِ
‫رﺣﻴﻢ‬ َّ ِ ،‫ﺗﺤﺼﻮﻫﺎ‬ ِ َ ِ ‫وإن َﺗﻌ ُّﺪوا‬
ِ
ٌ ْ َّ ‫َﻐﻔﻮر‬
ٌ ْ ُ َ ‫إن ا َﻟ‬ َ ْ ُ ْ ُ ‫ﻧﻌﻤﺔ ا َﻻ‬
َْ ْ ُ ْ َ
And if you try to enumerate the favours of Allah, you will never be
able to count them (due to them being innumerable). Indeed, Allah is
most forgiving, most merciful.
(Surah An-Nahl - Verse 18)

Always focus on the positive aspects of marriage and regard it as a

blessing from Allah Ta'ala which requires Shukr (gratitude).
Many only realise when its too late.

Supplication

َ ِ َ َ ِ ‫وﺣﺴِﻦ‬
‫ﻋﺒﺎدﺗﻚ‬ ْ ُ َ ، ‫وﺷﻜﺮك‬ َ ِ ْ ِ ‫ﻋﻠﻰ‬
َ ِ ْ ُ َ ‫ذﻛﺮك‬ ِِ َ َ
َ َ ‫َﻋﻨﻲ‬
ْ ّ ‫اﻟﻠﻬﻢ أ‬
ُّ
O Allah, help me to remember You, to give You thanks, and to
perform Your worship in the best manner.
(Abu Dawood)

10
 #3
YOUR PARTNER
IS ORDAINED

Qur’anic Guidance
ٍ ِ ٍ ْ ّ‫ﺧﻠﻘﻜﻢ ِﻣﻦ ﻧ‬
ِ َ َ َ َ ‫واﺣﺪة‬ ِ ُ َ ‫اﻟﻨﺎس اﺗّ َُﻘﻮا‬
‫ﻣﻨﻬﺎ‬
َ ْ ‫وﺧﻠﻖ‬ ّ َ َّ ‫َﻔﺲ‬ ْ ّ ْ ُ َ َ َ ‫اﻟﺬى‬ْ َّ ‫رﺑﻜﻢ‬
ُ ّ َ ْ ُ َّ ‫ﻳﺎﻳﻬﺎ‬ َ ُّ َ ٰ
‫ﺗﺴﺂءﻟﻮن ِ ِﺑﻪ‬
َ ْ ُ َ َ َ ‫اﻟﺬي‬ َِ ِ ِ َ ‫رﺟﺎﻻ‬ ِ َ ُ ْ ِ ‫وﺑﺚ‬
َّ َ َ ‫زوﺟﻬﺎ‬
ْ ّ َ ‫َﻘﻮا ا‬ْ ُ ّ‫ َواﺗ‬،‫وﻧﺴﺂ ًء‬
َ َّ ‫ﻛﺜﻴﺮا‬
ً ْ ً َ ‫ﻣﻨﻬﻤﺎ‬ َ َ َْ
ِ ُ َ َ ‫ﻛﺎن‬
‫رﻗﻴﺒﺎ‬ َّ ِ ،‫واﻻرﺣﺎ َم‬
ً ْ َ ‫ﻋﻠﻴﻜﻢ‬
ْ ْ َ َ َ ‫ان ا‬ َ َْ ْ َ
O mankind, fear your Lord, who created you from one soul and
created from it its partner and dispersed from both of them many men
and women. And fear Allah, through whom you ask one another, and
the wombs. Indeed, Allah is ever watching over you, all Observing.
(Surah An-Nisa - Verse 1)

Regard your partner as someone ordained for you by your Creator,

so accept His decree willingly.

Supplication
ِ ِ ّ ُ ‫وﺑﺎرك ِﻟﻲ ِﻓﻴﻤﺎ‬ ِِ َ َ
َ ِ َ َ ِ ‫ارﺿﻨﻲ‬
‫ﻟﻲ‬ َ َ ْ ْ ْ ِ َ َ ‫ﺑﻘﻀﺎﺋﻚ‬
ْ ‫ﻗﺪر‬ ْ ْ ‫اﻟﻠﻬﻢ‬
ُّ
O Allah! Grant be contentment with your decisions and bless me in
what has been ordained for me.
(Tabarani)
11
 #4
RECOGNISE DIVERSITY
IN TEMPERAMENT

Qur’anic Guidance

ٌ‫درﺟﺔ‬
َ َ َ ‫ﻋﻠﻴﻬﻦ‬ ِ َ ِ َِ
َّ ِ ْ َ َ ‫وﻟﻠﺮﺟﺎل‬
ّ
Allah Ta'ala has granted man a rank (of responsibility) above
woman.
(Surah Al-Baqarah - Verse 228)

Realise that Allah has made man and woman different; man is to
be the kind and compassionate protector of a woman, not her
tormentor. Don't expect the traits of men in women and vice-
versa.

Supplication

‫اﺑﺪا‬
ً َ َ ‫اراك‬ ِّ َ َ ‫اﺧﺸﺎك‬
َ َ َ ‫ﻛﺎﻧﻰ‬ ِ
َ َ ْ َ ‫اﺟﻌﻠﻨﻲ‬
ْ ْ َ ْ ‫اﻟﻠﻬﻢ‬
َّ ُ َ
O Allah! Make me from those that fear You as if I see You.
(Tabarani)

12
 #5
ACCEPT DIVERSITY

Qur’anic Guidance

ِ
‫ﻛﺜﻴﺮا‬ ِ ِ ْ َِ
َّ ُ ْ ُ ُ ْ ِ َ ‫ﻓﺈن‬
ً ْ َ ‫ﺧﻴﺮا‬
ً ْ َ ‫وﻳﺠﻌﻞَ ا ُ ْﻓﻴﻪ‬
َ ْ َ َّ ‫ﺷﻴﺌﺎ‬
ً ْ َ ‫ﺗﻜﺮﻫﻮا‬
ْ ُ َ ْ َ ‫ﻓﻌﺴﻰ أ َْن‬
َ َ َ ‫ﻛﺮﻫﺘﻤﻮﻫﻦ‬
If you dislike them (your spouse) for some reason, perhaps you dislike
some aspect, whereas Allah has kept a lot of good in in it.
(Surah An-Nisa-Verse 19)

Realise that people are different in temperament, habits and

background. e challenge of marriage is learning to accept and
adapt. Don't force one's ways on others.

Supplication

ِ
‫َﺑﻘﻴﺘﻨﻲ‬ ِ ِ ِ ‫ارﺣﻤﻨﻲ‬
ِ
ْ َ ْ َ ْ ‫اﻟﻤﻌﺎﺻﻲ أ َ ًَﺑﺪا َّﻣﺎ أ‬
ْ َ َ ْ ‫ﺑﺘﺮك‬
ْ َ ْ ْ َ ْ ‫اﻟﻠﻬﻢ‬
َّ ُ َ
O Allah, have mercy on me by abandonment of sins forever
(Tirmizi)

13
 #6
DO YOUR DUTY AND
FORGO ONE'S RIGHTS

Qur’anic Guidance

ٌ‫ﺧﺼﺎﺻﺔ‬
َ َ َ ‫ﺑﻬﻢ‬
ِ
ِ َ َ ‫َﻧﻔﺴﻬﻢ َوﻟَﻮ‬
ْ ِ ‫ﻛﺎن‬ ْ ْ ِ ُ ‫ﻋﻠﻰ أ‬ َ ْ ُِ ُْ َ
ٰ َ ‫وﻳﺆﺛﺮون‬
ey give them preference over themselves, even if they themselves
are needy.
(Surah Hashr - Verse 9)

Each partner must try to ful l rights of the other and forgo
his/her own rights; one partner must not ght for and demand
rights. Both must be willing to compromise.

Supplication
ِ ْ َ ‫ﺑﻚ ِﻣﻦ‬ ِّ ِ ‫اﻟﻠﻬﻢ‬
‫اﻇﻠﻢ‬
َ َ ْ ُ ‫اﻇﻠﻢ َ ْاو‬
َ ْ َ ‫ان‬ ْ َ ِ ُ‫اﻋﻮذ‬
ْ ُ َ ‫اﻧﻲ‬
ْ َّ ُ َ
O Allah! I seek refuge in You from oppressing or being oppressed
(Abu Dawood)

14
 #7
NO PERSON IS PERFECT

Qur’anic Guidance

‫َﻧﻔﺴﻜﻢ‬ ْ ُّ َ ُ ‫ََﻓﻼ‬
ْ ُ َ ُ ْ ‫ﺗﺰﻛﻮا أ‬
So do not acclaim your own virtue.
(Surah An Najm - Verse 32)

Accept that no person is perfect; all have some faults. Focus on

one's own faults; not on next person's faults. Do not look for faults
or highlight the next person's faults all the time.

Supplication

ِ ِ َ ‫ﻋﻴﻨﻲ‬
ِ ِ َّ ‫وﻓﻲ أ َْﻋﻴِﻦ‬
‫ﻛﺒﻴﺮا‬ ِ ِ ‫اﺟﻌﻠﻨﻲ‬
ِ
ً ْ َ ‫اﻟﻨﺎس‬ ُ ْ َّ ‫ﺻﻐﻴﺮا‬
ً ْ ْ ْ َ ‫ﻓﻲ‬
ْ ْ ْ َ ْ ‫اﻟﻠﻬﻢ‬
َّ ُ َ
O Allah make me small in my own eyes and great in people's eyes.
(Musnad Al Bazzar)

15
 #8
MAKE A FIRM
COMMITMENT

Qur’anic Guidance

ً ْ ِ َ ‫ﻣﻴﺜﺎﻗﺎ‬
‫ﻏﻠﻴﻈﺎ‬ ً َ ْ ِّ ‫ﻣﻨﻜﻢ‬ ِ َ ْ ََ
ْ ُ ْ ‫واﺧﺬن‬ َ
And they have taken a strong pledge from you
(Surah An-Nisa - Verse 21)

Make a rm commitment to make marriage work; affirm this by

word and deed. Do not say or do things that may damage the
marriage. Do not take the institution of marriage lightly.
Marriage is not a disposable commodity.

Supplication

ِ ْ ِ ّ َ ‫اﻫﺪﻧﻲ‬
‫وﺳﺪدﻧﻲ‬ ِ ِ ْ ‫اﻟﻠﻬﻢ‬
َّ ُ َ
ْ َ ْ
O Allah guide me and make me adhere to the straight path.
(Muslim)

16
 #9
BE CONSIDERATE

Qur’anic Guidance
ِ َّ ُ ْ ُ ِ َ َ
ْ ُ ْ َ ْ ِ ‫وﻋﺎﺷﺮوﻫﻦ‬
‫ﺑﺎﻟﻤﻌﺮوف‬
And live with them (your wives) with kindness.
(Surah An-Nisa - Verse 19)

Be considerate of one's partner and be sensitive to one's partner's

likes and dislikes. Do not hurt feelings.

Supplication
ِ ِ ِ ‫ﻣﺜﻨﻴﻦ‬ ِ
ِ َ ِ ِ ِ ‫ﺷﺎﻛﺮﻳﻦ‬
‫ﻋﻠﻴﻨﺎ‬
َ ْ َ َ ‫َﺗﻤﻬﺎ‬ َ ْ ِ َ ‫ﺑﻬﺎ‬
َ َّ ‫ﻗﺎﺑﻠﻴﻬﺎ َوأ‬ َ ْ َ ْ ِ َ ‫اﺟﻌﻠﻨﺎ‬
َ َ ْ ْ ُ ‫ﻟﻨﻌﻤﺘﻚ‬ َ ْ َ ْ ‫اﻟﻠﻬﻢ‬
َّ ُ َ
O Allah, make us from those that are thankful to your bounties,
praisers and accepters of it, and complete it (bounties) upon us.
(Abu Dawood)

17
 #10
BE GRATEFUL

Qur’anic Guidance

‫َﻜﻢ‬ َ ْ ِ َ َ ‫ﺷﻜﺮﺗﻢ‬ ِ
ْ ُ ّ‫ﻷزﻳﺪﻧ‬ ْ ُ ْ َ َ ‫َﺌﻦ‬
ْ ‫ﻟ‬
If you are grateful I will surely increase you.
(Surah Ibrahim - Verse 7)

Appreciate each other and express it now and then. Do not take
the next person or favours for granted. Be grateful for every good
act.

In a Hadith it is stated, whoever is not grateful to people has not

shown gratitude to Allah. (Tirmizi)

Supplication

َّ َ ِ َ ‫وﻋﻠﻰ‬
‫واﻟﺪي َوأ َْن‬ ِ َّ ‫ﻧﻌﻤﺘﻚ‬ ِ ‫َﺷﻜﺮ‬ ِ ْ ِ ‫رب أ‬
ِ
ٰ َ َ َ ‫ﻋﻠﻲ‬
َّ َ َ ‫َﻧﻌﻤﺖ‬
َ ْ َ ْ ‫اﻟﺘﻲ أ‬
ْ َ َ َ ْ َ ُ ْ ‫أ‬ ‫َن‬
ْ ‫أ‬ ‫َوزﻋﻨﻲ‬
ْ ْ ّ َ
ِ ِ َ ِ ِ ‫ﺑﺮﺣﻤﺘﻚ ِﻓﻲ‬
‫اﻟﺼﺎﻟﺤﻴﻦ‬ ِ ِ ِ ْ ِ ْ ‫ﺗﺮﺿﺎهُ َوأ‬ ِ
َ ْ َّ ‫ﻋﺒﺎدك‬ َ ْ َ َ ْ َ ‫َدﺧﻠﻨﻲ‬ ْ َ ْ َ ‫ﺻﺎﻟﺤﺎ‬
ً َ َ‫َﻋﻤﻞ‬ َْ‫أ‬
My Lord, inspire me that I should be thankful for Your blessing with
which You have blessed me and my parents, and that I may do good
works that will please You. Admit me, by Your Mercy, among Your
righteous servants.
(Surah An Naml - Verse 19)

18
 #11
BE REASONABLE
AND OBJECTIVE

Qur’anic Guidance

ٰ َ ْ َّ ِ ‫َﻗﺮب‬
‫ﻟﻠﺘﻘﻮى‬ ْ ‫أ‬ ِِْ
‫ﻫﻮ‬،‫اﻋﺪﻟﻮا‬
ُ ُ
ُ َ َ ْ
(O Believers) Be just for the sake of Allah, it is closer to piety.
(Surah Ma'idah - Verse 8)

Always be objective, not emotional; be rational, balanced and just.

Don't be unreasonable and uncompromising.

Supplication

َ َ ْ ِ َ ‫وﻳﺨﺎف‬
‫وﻋﻴﺪك‬ ُ َ َ َ ‫ﻣﻘﺎﻣﻚ‬
َ َ َ َ ‫ﻳﺨﺎف‬
ُ َ َّ ‫ﻣﻤﻦ‬
ِ ِ ْ ‫اﻟﻠﻬﻢ‬
ْ َّ ‫اﺟﻌﻠﻨﻲ‬
ْ َ ْ َّ ُ َ
O Allah make me from those who fears your position and fears
your caution.
(At Targheeb)

19
 #12
AVOID SUSPICIONS

Qur’anic Guidance

‫إﺛﻢ‬ِ َ َّ ِ ِّ َّ‫ﻣﻦ اﻟﻈ‬ ِ ‫ﻛﺜﻴﺮا‬

ِ َ ‫اﺟﺘﻨﺒﻮا‬
ِ ‫اﻟﺬﻳﻦ آﻣﻨﻮا‬ ِ َّ ‫ﻳﺎ أ َُﻳﻬﺎ‬
ٌ ْ ‫ﺑﻌﺾ اﻟﻈّ ِّﻦ‬
َ ْ َ ‫إن‬،‫ﻦ‬ َ ّ ًْ ْ ُ َ ْ ْ ُ َ َ ْ َّ َ
“O Believers, abstain from suspicion, verily some suspicion is a sin.
(Surah Hujurat - Verse 12)

Avoid assumptions, suspicions and a negative perception of one's

partner. Always give bene t of doubt. Verify facts before jumping
to conclusions or making accusations. It is stated in a Hadith,
Beware of suspicion (Muslim)

Supplication
ِ َ ‫اﻟﻠﻬﻢ ِ ِﻗﻨﻲ‬
‫ﻧﻔﺴﻲ‬
ْ ْ َ ‫ﺷﺮ‬
َّ ْ َّ ُ َ
O Allah! Save me from the evil of my Nafs
(Nasai)

20
 #13
ACCEPT YOUR
WEAKNESSES

Qur’anic Guidance

ً ْ ِ َ ‫اﻹﻧﺴﺎن‬
‫ﺿﻌﻴﻔﺎ‬ َُِ َ
ُ َ ْ ِ ْ ‫وﺧﻠﻖ‬
And man was created weak.
(Surah An Nisa - Verse 28)

Gradually work towards overcoming one's weaknesses; give the

next person a chance; be accommodating, not harsh, nor hasty.

Supplication

ِ َ َ ِ ‫ﻓﻘﻮ ِﻓﻲ‬
ِ ٌ ْ ِ َ ‫اﻟﻠﻬﻢ ِ ِّإﻧﻲ‬
‫ﺿﻌﻔﻲ‬
ْ ْ َ ‫رﺿﺎك‬ ْ ّ َ َ ، ‫ﺿﻌﻴﻒ‬ ْ َّ ُ َ
O Allah! I am weak (in pleasing you) so grant me strength, lead me
to do good (for your pleasure)
(Tabarani)

21
 #14
AVOID JUSTIFICATION

Qur’ anic Guidance

ِ َ َ ْ ‫اﻟﻘﺮﺑﻰ وﻳﻨﻬﻰ َﻋِﻦ‬
‫اﻟﻔﺤﺸﺎء‬
ْ
ِ ِ ِ ‫واﻹﺣﺴﺎن‬
ٰ ْ َ َ ٰ ْ ُ ْ ‫وإﻳﺘﺎء ذي‬
ِ ِ ْ َ ْ ِ ‫ﻳﺄﻣﺮ‬
َ ْ َ َ ْ ِ ْ َ ‫ﺑﺎﻟﻌﺪل‬ َّ ِ
ُُ ْ َ َ َّ ‫ان ا‬
َ ُ ُ ِ َ ِ ْ ْ َ ‫واﻟﻤﻨﻜﺮ‬
َ ْ ُ َّ َ َ ‫َﻌﻠﻜﻢ‬
‫ﺗﺬﻛﺮون‬ ْ ُ ّ َ ‫ﻳﻌﻈﻜﻢ ﻟ‬،‫واﻟﺒﻐﻲ‬
ْ َ َِ ُْ ْ َ
Allah commands justice, the doing of good, and generosity towards
kith and kin, and He forbids all shameful deeds, injustice and
rebellion, He instructs you, that you may receive admonition.
(Surah An Nahl - Verse 90)

Never be defensive and stubborn; Allah alone is perfect. Avoid

cynicism, pessimism, aggression and negativity and justi cation if
you are wrong. Accept when you are at fault.

Supplication

‫َراك‬ ِ َ َ ْ ‫اﺟﻌﻠﻨﻲ أ‬
َ َ ‫َﻧـﻲ أ‬ ِ
ْ ّ ‫َﺧﺸﺎك َﻛﺄ‬ ْ ْ َ ْ ‫اﻟﻠﻬﻢ‬
َّ ُ َ
O Allah! Make me fear You as if I see You.
(Tabarani)

22
 #15
SUPPRESS YOUR ANGER

Quranic Guidance
ِ ِ ِ ِ َّ ‫اﻟﺴﺮاء‬
ِ ِ
َ ْ ُ ِ ْ ُ ‫اﻟﺬﻳﻦ‬
‫واﻟﻌﺎﻓﻴﻦ َﻋِﻦ‬
َ ْ َ ْ َ ‫اﻟﻐﻴﻆ‬
َ ْ َ ْ ‫واﻟﻜﺎﻇﻤﻴﻦ‬ َّ َ َّ َّ ‫ﻳﻨﻔﻘﻮن ِﻓﻲ‬
َ ْ َ ْ َ ‫واﻟﻀﺮاء‬ َ ْ َّ َ
ِِ
‫اﻟﻤﺤﺴﻨﻴﻦ‬ ِ ِ َّ
َ ْ ْ ُ ْ ‫ﻳﺤﺐ‬
ُّ ُ ُ ‫ َو ا‬، ‫اﻟﻨﺎس‬
ose who spend (generously), whether in prosperity, or in adversity,
who restrain anger, and pardon others, for Allah loves those who do good.
(Surah Al Imran - Verse 134)

Anger is dangerous; it is also Haram. Control it by reading,

drinking water, making wudhu, etc. Work towards the
reformation of the anger.

Anas bin Malik t Narrates, 'I served the Prophet ‫ ﷺ‬in Madina
for ten years. never did He say to me: "Uf " (a minor harsh word
denoting impatience) and never blamed me by saying, "Why did
you do so or why didn't you do so?' (Abu Dawood)

Supplication
ِ ‫اذﻫﺐ ﻏﻴﻆ‬
‫ﻗﻠﺒﻰ‬ ِ ‫اﻟﻠﻬﻢ‬
ْ ْ َ َ ْ َ ْ ْ َّ ُ َ
O Allah! Remove anger from my heart
(Tabarani)
23
 #16
MAKE UP QUICKLY

Qur’anic Guidance

ِ َّ ِ ‫ﺪك‬
‫ﻟﻠﻨﺎس‬ ِ ََ
َ َّ ‫ﺗﺼﻌﺮ َﺧ‬
ْ ّ َ ُ ‫وﻻ‬
And turn not your face away from people with pride.
(Surah Luqman - Verse 18)

Do not walk away out of pride and in anger for more than a few
hours; try to make up as quickly as possible with loving gestures.
e longer the delay, the greater the harm.

Supplication

َ َ ِ َ ْ َ ‫اﻟﻌﻔﻮ‬
‫واﻟﻌﺎﻓﻴﺔ‬ َ ْ َ ْ ‫َﻟﻚ‬ َْ ‫اﻟﻠﻬﻢ ِاﻧَّﺎ‬
َ ُ ‫ﻧﺴﺄ‬ َّ ُ َ
O Allah! I seek from you, pardon and wellbeing.
(Tabarani)

24
 #17
LISTEN ATTENTIVELY

Qur’anic Guidance

‫َﻃﻴﻌﻮا‬ِ
ْ ُ ْ ‫واﺳﻤﻌﻮا َوأ‬
ْ ُ َ ْ َ ‫اﺳﺘﻄﻌﺘﻢ‬
ْ ُ ْ َ َ ْ ‫َﻓﺎﺗّ َُﻘﻮا ا َ َﻣﺎ‬
So fear Allah as much as you are able to and listen and obey.
(Surah Taghabun - Verse 16)

Listen to the next person attentively, calmly, patiently; do not

comment right away; think it over; take time to respond. Do not
sti e the next person.

Supplication

ِ ِ
‫ﻣﻄﻴﻌﻴﻦ‬ ِ ِ َ ْ َ ْ ‫اﻟﻠﻬﻢ‬
َ ْ ْ ُ ‫ﺳﺎﻣﻌﻴﻦ‬
َ ْ َ ‫اﺟﻌﻠﻨﺎ‬ َّ ُ َ
O Allah! Make us obedient listeners to You.
(Al Qowlul Badee)

25
 #18
GOOD COMMUNICATION

Qur’anic Guidance
ِ ْ ْ ‫ﺑﺎﻹﺛﻢ‬
ِ ِ َ َ ‫واﻟﻌﺪوان‬ ِ ُ َ ‫اﻟﺬﻳﻦ‬َِ
‫وﻣﻌﺼﻴﺖ‬
َ ْ َ ُ َ ِ ْ ِ ْ ِ ‫ﺗﺘﻨﺎﺟﻮا‬
ْ َ َ َ َ ‫ﺗﻨﺎﺟﻴﺘﻢ َ َﻓﻼ‬
ْ ُ ْ َ َ َ ‫آﻣﻨﻮا َإذا‬
ْ َ ْ ّ ‫َﻳﺎ أ ُّ ََﻳﻬﺎ‬
‫ﺗﺤﺸﺮون‬ َِ
َ ْ ُ َ ْ ُ ‫اﻟﺬي ِإﻟ ْ َِﻴﻪ‬ ِ ّ ِ ْ ِ ‫وﺗﻨﺎﺟﻮا‬ ِ ُ َ
ْ ّ َ ‫َﻘﻮا‬
ْ ُ ّ‫ َواﺗ‬، ‫واﻟﺘﻘﻮى‬
ٰ ْ َّ َ ‫ﺑﺎﻟﺒﺮ‬ ْ َ َ َ َ ‫اﻟﺮﺳﻮل‬
ْ ّ
O You who believe, when you hold secret counsel, do not whisper for
sinful acts and wrongdoing and disobedience of the Messenger r,
and do whisper for righteousness and Taqwa (piety), and fear Allah
unto Whom you shall be gathered.
(Surah Mujadalah - Verse 9)

Lots of communication is required; communication requires skill,

tact and wisdom. Say the right thing at the right time in the right
tone.

Supplication
ِِ ِ ِ ِ َ ‫رب‬
ِ
َ ْ َّ ِ ‫َﻟﺤﻘﻨﻲ‬
‫ﺑﺎﻟﺼﺎﻟﺤﻴﻦ‬ ْ ْ ْ ‫ﺣﻜﻤﺎ َّوأ‬
ً ْ ُ ‫ﻟﻲ‬
ْ ‫ﻫﺐ‬ْ ّ َ
My Lord! Grant me wisdom, and join me with the righteous
(Surah Shu'ara - Verse 83)

26
 #19
COMPROMISE

Qur’anic Guidance

‫َﺣﺴﻦ‬ ِ ‫ﺑﺎﻟﺘﻲ‬
ِ َّ ِ ‫ادﻓﻊ‬ ِ
ُ َ ْ ‫ﻫﻲ أ‬
َ ْ ْ َ ْ
Repel (evil) with what is best.
(Surah Fussilat - Verse 34)

Compromise is essential; marriage is not a one-way street. Give

and take is necessary. Initially one will need to compromise,
however over time this leads to strengthening the bond.

Supplication
ِ
◌‫اﻟﻮﻛﻴ ُﻞ‬ ِ
ْ َ ْ ‫وﻧﻌﻢ‬
َ ْ َ ُ ‫ﺣﺴﺒﻨﺎ اﷲ‬
َُ ْ َ
Allah is sufficient for us and the best one to depend upon.
(Surah Al Imran - Verse 173)

27
 #20
MUTUAL
CONSULTATION

Qur’anic Guidance

‫ﺑﻴﻨﻬﻢ‬
ْ ُ َ ْ َ ‫ﺷﻮرى‬
َ ْ ُ ‫َﻣﺮﻫﻢ‬
ْ ُ ُ ْ ‫َوأ‬
And Whose Affairs are (settled) with mutual consultation.
(Surah Shura - Verse 38)

Consultation in a friendly manner in all major issues is important.

Do not take unilateral decisions. Mashwarah is a great Sunnah.
Abu Hurairah t said, “I never saw anyone consult his
companions more often than the Messenger of Allah.” (Ahmad)

Supplication
ِ ِ ُ ‫واﻋﺰﻧﺎ ِﻣﻦ‬ ِ َ ِ ُ ‫ﻣﺮاﺷﺪ‬ِ
‫اﻧﻔﺴﻨﺎ‬
َ ُ ْ َ ‫ﺷﺮور‬
ْ ُ ْ َ ْ َ َ ،‫اﻣﻮرﻧﺎ‬ َ ْ ِ ْ َ ‫اﻟﻠﻬﻢ‬
ْ ُ َ َ َ ‫اﻟﻬﻤﻨﺎ‬ َّ ُ َ
O Allah, inspire us to guide our affairs and protect us from the evils
of ourselves.
(Ahmad)

28
 #21
BALANCE RIGHTS

Qur’anic Guidance

‫ﺗﻔﺮﻗﻮا‬ ِ ِ ِ ِ َْ َ
ْ ُ َّ َ َ ‫وﻻ‬
َ َّ ‫ﺟﻤﻴﻌﺎ‬
ً ْ َ ‫ﺑﺤﺒِﻞ ا‬
ْ َ ‫واﻋﺘﺼﻤﻮا‬
ُْ
And hold onto the rope of Allah together and do not be divided
(Surah Al Imran - Verse 103)

Balance the rights of everyone; be co-operative and help one

another to ful l rights. Parents, siblings, in-laws, relatives, all have
rights that must be ful lled along with the rights of the spouse.

Our Nabi r divided his time into three parts, one part for Allah,
one for his family and one for himself.

Supplication
ِ
‫ٱﻟﺮﺣﻴﻢ‬
ُ ْ َّ ‫ٱﻟﺘﻮاب‬
ُ َّ َّ ‫َﻧﺖ‬ َ ّ‫ﻋﻠﻴﻨﺂ ِإﻧ‬
َ ْ ‫َﻚ أ‬ َ ْ َ َ ‫وﺗﺐ‬ َ َ ِ َ َ ‫َرﻧﺎ‬
ْ ُ َ ‫ﻣﻨﺎﺳﻜﻨﺎ‬ َ ِ ‫َوأ‬
And show us our rites [of worship] and accept our repentance.
(Surah Al Baqarah - Verse 128)

29
 #22
HUMOUR

Qur’anic Guidance

‫اﻟﻌﺴﺮ‬ ِ ُ ْ ِ ُ َ ‫ﺑﻜﻢ ْاﻟﻴﺴﺮ َوﻻ‬ِ ُ ُِْ

َ ْ ُ ْ ‫ﺑﻜﻢ‬
ُ ُ ‫ﻳﺮﻳﺪ‬ َ ْ ُ ُ ُ ُ ‫ﻳﺮﻳﺪ ا‬
Allah wants ease and not hardship for you.
(Surah Al Baqarah - Verse 185)

Learn to relax and unwind; be humorous, not tense and uptight all
the time. is is healthy for the body, mind and marriage.

Supplication
ِ َ ِ ‫رب‬
ِ ِ َ ‫ﺗﻌﺴﺮ َو‬
‫ﺑﺎﻟﺨﻴ ِﺮ‬
ْ َ ْ ‫ﺗﻤﻢ‬ َ ْ ّ َ ِّ َ
ْ ّ ْ ّ َ ُ ‫ﻳﺴﺮوﻻ‬
O my Lord! Make (the task) easy and do not make it difficult and
grant completion with goodness.
(Saheeh Ibn Hibban)

30
 #23
ROMANCE

Qur’anic Guidance
ِ
ِ َ ْ ‫َﻧﻔﺴﻜﻢ أ‬ ِ ُ ‫ﺧﻠﻖ ﻟ‬ ِِ ِ
َ‫وﺟﻌﻞ‬ َ ْ ‫ﻟﺘﺴﻜﻨﻮا ِإﻟ‬
َ َ َ ‫َﻴﻬﺎ‬ ْ ُ ُ ْ َ ّ ‫َزواﺟﺎ‬
ً ْ ُ ُ ْ ‫ﻣﻦ أ‬
ْ ّ ‫َﻜﻢ‬
ْ َ َ َ ‫وﻣﻦ َآﻳﺎﺗﻪ أ َْن‬ ْ َ
ٍ ‫ذﻟﻚ‬
ٍ ْ َ ِّ ‫َﻵﻳﺎت‬ ِ ِ ‫إن‬ َ ِ َ ْ َ َّ ً‫ﻣﻮ َّدة‬
َ ْ ُ َّ َ َ َّ ‫ﻟﻘﻮم‬
‫ﻳﺘﻔﻜﺮون‬ َ َ ٰ ‫ﻓﻲ‬ ْ ّ ، ً‫ورﺣﻤﺔ‬ َ َّ ‫ﺑﻴﻨﻜﻢ‬
ْ ُ َ َْ
And of His signs is that He created for you from yourselves mates
that you may nd tranquility in them; and He placed between you
affection and mercy. Indeed in that are signs for a people who give
thought.
(Surah Rum - Verse 21)

Romance is necessary for the marriage. Display loving gestures.

Send loving messages. It is an important Sunnah.

Supplication

َ ِ ْ ُ ُ ‫ﺑﻴﻦ‬
‫ﻗﻠﻮﺑﻨﺎ‬ ِ َ َ
َ ْ َ ‫اﻟﻒ‬
ْ ّ َ ‫اﻟﻠﻬﻢ‬
ُّ
O Allah grant affection between our hearts.
(Abu Dawood)

31
 #24
BE POLITE

Qur’anic Guidance

ِ ْ ِ َ ْ ‫َﺼﻮت‬ ِ َ ِ ْ َ ‫ﻣﻦ‬
َّ ِ ‫ﺻﻮﺗﻚ‬ ِ ُ ْ
‫اﻟﺤﻤﻴﺮ‬ َ ْ َ ْ ‫َﻧﻜﺮ‬
ُ ْ َ ‫اﻷﺻﻮات ﻟ‬ ََ ْ ‫إن أ‬ ْ ‫واﻏﻀﺾ‬
ْ َ
Lower your voice, the worst of sounds is the braying of the donkey.
(Surah Luqman - Verse 19)

Be polite and courteous in speech. Do not be abrupt; do not

scream or shout.

Supplication
ِ
ِ َ ْ َ ْ ‫وﺳﻮء‬ ِ َ ِّ ‫ﺑﻚ ِﻣﻦ‬
ِ َ ِّ َ ‫اﻟﺸﻘﺎق‬ ِِ َ َ
‫اﻷﺧﻼق‬ ْ ُ َ ‫واﻟﻨﻔﺎق‬ َ َ ِ ُ‫َﻋﻮذ‬
ْ ُ ‫إﻧﻲ أ‬
ْ ّ ‫اﻟﻠﻬﻢ‬
ُّ
O Allah, I seek refuge in You from divisiveness, hypocrisy, and evil
character
(Nasai)

32
 #25
FORGIVE AND
OVERLOOK

Qur’anic Guidance

،ِ ‫رﺣﻤﺔ ا‬
ِ َ ‫ﺗﻘﻨﻄﻮا ِﻣﻦ‬ ِ
ْ ِ ُ ‫ﻋﻠﻰ أ‬
َ ْ ّ ْ ْ ُ َ ْ َ ‫َﻧﻔﺴﻬﻢ َﻻ‬ ٰ َ َ ‫َﺳﺮﻓﻮا‬
ِ ِ ِ ‫ُﻗﻞ ﻳﺎ‬
َ ْ َّ ‫ﻋﺒﺎدي‬
ْ ُ َ ْ ‫اﻟﺬﻳﻦ أ‬ َ َ َْ
ِ ِ ِ َ ‫اﻟﺬﻧﻮب‬ ِ َّ ِ
‫اﻟﺮﺣﻴﻢ‬
ُ ْ َّ ‫اﻟﻐﻔﻮر‬
ُ ْ ُ َ ْ ‫ﻫﻮ‬ ً ْ َ ْ ُ ُّ ‫ﻳﻐﻔﺮ‬
َ ُ ُ ‫ إﻧَّﻪ‬،‫ﺟﻤﻴﻌﺎ‬ ُ ْ َ َ ‫إن ا‬
O My servants who have acted recklessly against themselves, do not
despair of Allah's mercy.
(Surah Zumar - Verse 53)

Forgive and forget; everyone makes mistakes. Allah loves to

forgive and loves those who forgive. Be big hearted.

Supplication

‫َﺧﻄﺄﻧﺎ‬ َ ْ ّ‫إن ﻧ‬
َ ْ َ ْ ‫َﺴﻴﻨﺎ أ َْو أ‬ َ ْ ِ َ ُ َ ‫رﺑﻨﺎ ﻻ‬
ِ ْ ِ ‫ﺗﺆاﺧﺬﻧﺎ‬
َ َّ َ
Our Lord, do not take us to task in case we forget or we make
mistakes.
(Surah Al Baqarah - Verse 286)

33
 #26
FORGET THE PAST

Qur’anic Guidance
ِ
‫رﺣﻴﻢ‬ ِ َ ْ ُّ ِ ُ ‫ أ ََﻻ‬،‫وﻟﻴﺼﻔﺤﻮا‬
ٌ ْ َّ ‫ﻏﻔﻮر‬
ٌ ْ ُ َ ُ ‫واﷲ‬،
َ ‫َﻜﻢ‬
ْ ُ ‫ﻳﻐﻔﺮ اﷲ ُﻟ‬
َ ْ َّ ‫ﺗﺤﺒﻮن أ َْن‬ ْ ُ َ ْ َ ْ َ ‫وﻟﻴﻌﻔﻮا‬
ََُْْْ
ey should forgive and overlook, Do you not love that Allah should
forgive you.
(Surah Noor - Verse 22)

Do not bring up the past; look forward, not backward. Let

bygones be bygones. Just as we want Allah to forgive us, forgive
others.

It is stated in a Hadith, 'Anyone who conceals a Muslim's fault,

Allah will conceal his faults on the Day of resurrection. (Muslim)

Supplication

ِ ِ
‫اﻟﺮاﺣﻤﻴﻦ‬ ِ ِ
َ ْ َّ ‫ﺧﻴﺮ‬
ُ ْ َ ‫َﻧﺖ‬
َ ْ ‫وارﺣﻢ َوأ‬
ْ َ ْ َ ‫اﻏﻔﺮ‬
ْ ْ ‫رب‬
ّ َ
"My Lord! forgive and have mercy, and You are the best of the
merciful.”
(Surah Mu'minun - Verse 118)

34
 #27
SHOW RESPECT

Qur’anic Guidance

ِ ْ َ َ ‫ﻟﻜﻢ‬
َّ ُ َّ ‫ﻟﺒﺎس‬
‫ﻟﻬﻦ‬ َ ِ ‫ﻫﻦ‬
ٌ َ ‫واﻧﺘﻢ‬
ْ ُ ْ ُ ّ ‫ﻟﺒﺎس‬
ٌ َ َّ ُ
ey (wives) are garments unto you and you (husbands) are
garments for them.
(Surah Al Baqarah - Verse 187)

Mutual respect is important; never run down one's partner,

especially in front of others.

Supplication
ِ َ ‫ﺑﻚ ِﻣﻦ‬
ِ َ ْ َ ْ ‫ﻣﻨﻜﺮات‬
‫اﻷﺧﻼق‬ ِ ُ ‫اﻟﻠﻬﻢ ِ ِّإﻧﻲ أ‬
َ ْ ُ ْ َ ُ‫َﻋﻮذ‬
ْ ْ َّ ُ َ
O Allah, I seek refuge in You from evil character
(Tirmizi)

35
 #28
ASSIST EACH OTHER

Qur’anic Guidance

‫واﻟﺘﻘﻮى‬ ِ ّ ِ ْ ‫ﻋﻠﻰ‬
َ ْ َّ َ ‫اﻟﺒﺮ‬ َ َ ‫وﺗﻌﺎوﻧﻮا‬
ُْ َ ََ َ
Assist one another in righteousness and piety
(Surah Al-Ma'idah - Verse 2)

Help each other in housework and domestic chores; is is a great

Sunnah. It strengthens the bond of marriage. e wife is not a
servant. Maintain a high level of hygiene. Maintain a neat and
attractive appearance.

Ayesha i narrates that Nabi r used to keep himself busy serving

his family, He r worked as any man works in his house
(Bukhari)

Supplication

‫ﻋﻠﻴﻚ‬ ٍ ِ َ ّ‫ﺗﻴﺴﻴﺮ ُﻛِﻞ‬

َ ْ َ َ ‫ﻋﺴﻴﺮ‬ ِ َّ ِ َ ‫ﻋﺴﻴﺮ‬
َ ْ ْ َ ‫ﻓﺈن‬ ٍ ِ َ ّ‫ﺗﻴﺴﻴﺮ ُﻛِﻞ‬
ِ ْ ِ ْ َ ‫اﻟﻄﻒ ِﺑﻲ ِﻓﻲ‬
ْ ْ ْ ْ ْ ُ ْ ‫اﻟﻠﻬﻢ‬
َّ ُ َ
‫ﻳﺴﻴﺮ‬ ِ
ٌْ َ
O Allah! Make easy for me every difficulty with your special favor
and kindness, for it is easy for you to make every difficulty easy.
(Tabarani)

36
 #29
TAKE INTEREST

Qur’anic Guidance

ِ
‫ﻛﺜﻴﺮا‬ ِ ِ ْ َِ
َّ ُ ْ ُ ُ ْ ِ َ ‫ﻓﺈن‬
ً ْ َ ‫ﺧﻴﺮا‬
ً ْ َ ‫وﻳﺠﻌﻞَ ا ُ ْﻓﻴﻪ‬
َ ْ َ َ ‫ﺷﻴﺌﺎ‬
ً ْ َ ‫ﺗﻜﺮﻫﻮا‬
ْ ُ َ ْ َ ‫ﻓﻌﺴﻰ أ َْن‬
ٰ َ َ َ ‫ﻛﺮﻫﺘﻤﻮﻫﻦ‬
en if you dislike them, it may be that you dislike a thing while
Allah has placed abundant good in it
(Surah An Nisa - Verse 19)

Take interest in the next person's matters. Do not be sel sh and

self-centered. is will impact negatively on the marriage.

Supplication
ِ ِ ‫ﻣﺼﻴﺒﺘﻨﺎ‬
َ ِ ْ ‫ﻓﻲ‬
‫دﻳﻨﻨﺎ‬ ِ
ْ َ َ َ ْ ُ ْ‫ﺗﺠﻌﻞ‬
َ ْ َ ‫وﻻ‬
ََ
And do not make affliction in our religion
(Tirmizi)

37
 #30
BEWARE OF ABUSE

Qur’anic Guidance

‫ﻟﺘﻌﺘﺪوا‬ ِ ِ ‫ﺗﻤﺴﻜﻮﻫﻦ‬ ِ َ
ْ ُ َ ْ َ ّ ‫ﺿﺮارا‬
ً َ َّ ُ ْ ُ ْ ُ ‫وﻻ‬
َ
And do not restrain them, intending harm, to transgress [against
them]
(Surah Al Baqarah - Verse 231)

Physical, mental, verbal, nancial and psychological abuse is

absolutely unacceptable. is is tantamount to Zulm (oppression)
which is a major sin.

Supplication
ِ َ ْ ‫وﺗﺮك‬
‫اﻟﻤﻨﻜﺮات‬ ِ َ ْ ‫َﺳﺎﻟﻚ ِﻓﻌﻞ‬ ِِ َ َ
َ ْ ُ َ ْ َ َ ‫اﻟﺨﻴﺮات‬
َ ْ َ ْ َ ُ َ ْ ‫إﻧﻲ أ‬
ْ ّ ‫اﻟﻠﻬﻢ‬
ُّ
O Allah, I ask You for good actions and for leaving what is
disapproved of
(Muwattah Imam Malik)

38
 #31
MAINTAIN CONFIDENTIALITY

Qur’anic Guidance
‫ﺗﻌﻠﻤﻮن‬
َ ْ ُ َ ْ َ ‫ﻛﻨﺘﻢ َﻻ‬
ُْ ْ ُ ‫إن‬ ِ ْ ِّ َ‫ﻓﺎﺳﺄ ُ َْﻟﻮا أ َْﻫﻞ‬
ْ ِ ‫اﻟﺬﻛﺮ‬ ْ َ
“And ask those who have knowledge if you do not know.
(Surah Ambiya - Verse 7)

Nabi r said: e most wicked among the people in the eye of

Allah on the Day of judgment is the man who goes to his wife and
she comes to him, and then he divulges her secret. (Muslim)

Con dentiality is important. Never discuss your personal life

with unrelated people. Maintain strict con dentiality between
spouses. Consult a pious elder or learned Alim if problems occur.
Go for counselling if necessary.

Supplication
ِ َ َ َ ‫ﺪﻧﻴﺎ‬
‫وﻋﺬاب‬ ِ ْ ِ ‫ﻣﻦ‬
َ ْ ُّ ‫ﺧﺰي اﻟ‬ ْ ‫َﺟﺮﻧﺎ‬
ِ ِ ُ ْ ‫ﻋﺎﻗﺒﺘﻨﺎ ِﻓﻲ‬
ِ َ ِ ‫ وأ‬،‫ﻛﻠﻬﺎ‬
ْ َ َ ّ ُ ‫اﻷﻣﻮر‬
ُْ
ِ َ َ
َ َ َ ِ َ ‫َﺣﺴﻦ‬
ْ ْ ‫اﻟﻠﻬﻢ أ‬
ُّ
ِ ِ ‫ا‬
‫ْﻵﺧﺮة‬
َ
O Allah! grant us a good outcome on all of our affairs and save us
from the disgrace of this world and the punishment of the Hereafter.
(Ahmad)
39
 #32
SPEND TIME AWAY

Qur’anic Guidance

ٍ ْ ُ ‫اﻹﻧﺴﺎن ﻟ َِﻔﻲ‬
‫ﺧﺴﺮ‬ َ َ ْ َّ ِ ،‫واﻟﻌﺼﺮ‬
ِ ‫ان‬ ِ ْ َْ َ
ْ
By the passage of time! Surely humanity is in grave loss.
(Surah Al Asr – Verse 1)

Time away from each other occasionally is healthy for the

relationship. But it should be for short durations only.

It is stated in a Hadith, Travel! and you will gain health. (Tabarani)

Supplication

‫اﻟﻌﺎﻓﻴﺔ‬ َ َّ ِّ ‫َﻟﻚ‬
َ َ ِ َ ْ ‫اﻟﺼﺤﺔ َو‬ ِّ ِ ‫اﻟﻠﻬﻢ‬
َ ُ ‫إﻧﻲ أ َْﺳﺄ‬
ْ َّ ُ َ
O Allah! I seek from You health and wellbeing.
(Tirmizi)

40
 #33
FREE TIME

Qur’anic Guidance

ِِ ِ ُ ‫ﻳٰ ٓﺄ‬
‫اﻟﺼﺎدﻗﻴﻦ‬
َ ْ َّ ‫ﻣﻊ‬َ َ ‫وﻛﻮﻧﻮا‬
ْ ُ ْ ُ َ َ ‫َﻘﻮا ا‬
ْ ُ ّ‫آﻣﻨﻮاْ ٱﺗ‬ َ ْ َّ ‫َﻳﻬﺎ‬
ُ َ ‫ٱﻟﺬﻳﻦ‬ َّ َ
O Believers, fear Allah and be with those who are Truthful.
(Surah Taubah - Verse 119)

Try and spend free time together, especially evenings and most
weekends. Do fun things together. Enjoy each other's company.

Supplication
ِ َ ‫وﻣﻦ‬
‫ﺳﺎﻋﺔ‬ ِ ِ ُ ‫َﻴﻠﺔ‬ ِ ِ ،‫اﻟﺴﻮء‬ ِ ِ َ ِ ُ‫اﻟﻠﻬﻢ ِ ِّاﻧﻲ أ َُﻋﻮذ‬
َ ْ َ ،‫اﻟﺴﻮء‬ْ ّ َ ْ ‫وﻣﻦ ﻟ‬
ْ َ ْ ُّ ‫ﻣﻦ َ ْﻳﻮِم‬
ْ ‫ﺑﻚ‬ ْ ْ َّ ُ َ
ِ ِ ِ ُ ‫ﺻﺎﺣﺐ‬ِ ِ ِ ُ
‫اﻟﺴﻮء‬ ِ َ ‫وﻣﻦ‬
ْ ُّ ‫ﺟﺎر‬ ْ ّ ِ َ ‫وﻣﻦ‬
ْ َ ،‫اﻟﺴﻮء‬ ْ َ ،‫اﻟﺴﻮء‬
ّْ
O Allah! I seek refuge in You from an evil day, evil night, evil time,
evil companion, and from an evil neighbour.
(Sunan Tabarani)

41
 #34
ADOPT PIETY

Qur’anic Guidance
ِ ِ
‫ﻧﺎرا‬
ً َ ‫َﻫﻠﻴﻜﻢ‬
ْ ُ ْ ْ ‫َﻧﻔﺴﻜﻢ َوأ‬
ْ ُ َ ُ ْ ‫آﻣﻨﻮا ُ ْﻗﻮا أ‬ َ ْ َّ ‫َﻳﺎ أ ُّ ََﻳﻬﺎ‬
ْ ُ َ ‫اﻟﺬﻳﻦ‬
'O believers, save yourselves and your families from the re of hell.’
(Surah Tahreem - Verse 6)

Come onto Deen fully. Perform Salah, Zikr, Tilawah, etc. Attend
Deeni programmes. Read an Islamic book at home even for a few
minutes. Avoid sins. Adopt a Sunnah lifestyle. Connect with
pious personalities. Follow their advices.

Supplication

َ َّ َ ‫ﻣﻦ‬
‫زﻛﺎﻫﺎ‬ ِ َ ْ ‫ أ‬،‫ﺗﻘﻮاﻫﺎ‬ ِ ِ َ َ
ْ َ ‫وﺧﻴﺮ‬
ُ ْ َ َ ،‫وﻣﻮﻻﻫﺎ‬
َ َ ْ َ َ ‫وﻟﻴﻬﺎ‬
َ ُّ َ ‫َﻧﺖ‬ َ َ ْ َ ‫ﻧﻔﺴﻲ‬
ْ ْ َ ‫اﻟﻠﻬﻢ آت‬
ُّ
O Allah! Grant my soul piety. You are its Guardian and Master,
and the best to purify it.
(Muslim)

42
 #35
MONEY MATTERS

Qur’anic Guidance

ْ ِ ْ ُ ْ َ ُ ‫رزﻗﻪ‬
َّ ِ ‫ﻓﻠﻴﻨﻔﻖ‬ ِ َ َ ‫ﻗﺪر‬ ِ ِ ‫ﻦﻓﻖ ُذو ﺳﻌﺔٍ ِﻣﻦ‬
ِ ُ ‫ وﻣﻦ‬، ‫ﺳﻌﺘﻪ‬ ِ
ُ ‫آﺗﺎه ا‬
ُ َ ‫ﻣﻤﺎ‬ ُ ْ ِ ‫ﻋﻠﻴﻪ‬
ْ َ ْ َ َ َ َ ْ ّ َ َ ْ ْ ِ ◌ ْ ‫ُﻟﻴ‬
And every person should spend according to his ability, and who
nds his wealth less, should spend whatever he can.
(Surah Talaq - Verse 7)

Money matters must be done with consultation. Save and be

thrifty, do not be extravagant nor miserly. Take the middle path.
Spend generously on one's family.

Supplication
ِ َِ ِ ِ ‫َوأ‬
‫ﻣﻌﺎﺷﻲ‬ َ ْ ِ ‫اﻟﺘﻲ‬
ْ َ َ ‫ﻓﻴﻬﺎ‬ ْ ّ ‫دﻧﻴﺎي‬
َ َ ْ ُ ‫ﻟﻲ‬
ْ ‫َﺻﻠﺢ‬
ْ ْ
And rectify for me the affairs of this world wherein is my sustenance.
(Muslim)

43
 #36
MEDICAL CHECKUPS

Qur’anic Guidance

‫ﺣﺬرﻛﻢ‬ َِ
ِ ُ ُ ‫اﻟﺬﻳﻦ آﻣﻨﻮا‬
ْ ُ َ ْ ‫ﺧﺬوا‬
ْ ْ ُ َ َ ْ ّ ‫َﻳﺎ أ ُّ ََﻳﻬﺎ‬
“O Believers be on your guard.”
(Surah An Nisa - Verse 71)

Have a medical checkup for hypertension, diabetes, etc. which can

cause anger and frustration. Go for counselling to deal with
psychological issues, if required. In some cases, even psychiatric
assessment may be required. Drug abuse is a serious problem that
requires intervention and rehabilitation.

Supplication
ِ
‫ﻓﻲ‬ِ َ ِ َ ‫اﻟﻠﻬﻢ‬
ْ ‫ﻋﺎﻓﻨﺎ‬ َّ ُ َ ،‫اﺳﻤﺎﻋﻨﺎ‬
َ َ ْ َ ‫ﻓﻲ‬ ِ َ ِ َ ‫اﻟﻠﻬﻢ‬
ْ ‫ﻋﺎﻓﻨﺎ‬ َ ِ َ ْ َ ‫ﻓﻲ‬
َّ ُ َّ َ ،‫اﺑﺪاﻧﻨﺎ‬ ِ َ ِ َ ‫اﻟﻠﻬﻢ‬
ْ ‫ﻋﺎﻓﻨﺎ‬ َّ ُ َ
َ ْ ‫ َﻻ ِإﻟَﻪَ ِ َّإﻻ أ‬،‫اﺑﺼﺎرﻧﺎ‬
‫َﻧﺖ‬ َ ِ َ َْ
O Allah grant us wellbeing in our bodies, in our hearing and in our
sight, there is no deity besides You.
(Abu Dawood)

44
 #37
BLACK MAGIC &
MISINFORMATION

Qur’anic Guidance
َّ َ َ ْ َ ِ ‫وﻋﻠﻰ ا‬
‫ﻓﻠﻴﺘﻮﻛِﻞ‬ َ ُ ،‫ﻛﺘﺐ ا ُﻟ ََﻨﺎ‬
َ َ ْ َ ‫ﻫﻮ‬ َ ِ َ ِ ُّ ‫ﻟﻦ‬
َ
َ َ َ َ ،‫ﻣﻮﻻﻧﺎ‬ َ َ َ ‫ﻳﺼﻴﺒﻨﺎ ّإﻻ َﻣﺎ‬
َ ْ ْ ّ ‫ُﻗﻞ‬
َ ُِْ ُْ ْ
‫اﻟﻤﺆﻣﻨﻮن‬
Say nothing shall afflict us but what Allah has decreed for us.
(Surah Taubah - Verse 51)

Do not attribute all problems to Sihr ( Jadu). Avoid doubts and

suspicion. If necessary, consult only an authentic Aamil. Read
Manzil for protection. Resign oneself to Allah's decree with
dignity.

Supplication
ِ ِ ِ ِ َ ‫ ِﻣﻦ‬،‫اﻟﺮﺟﻴﻢ‬
ِ ِ ْ َ ‫وﻧﻔﺨﻪ‬
‫وﻧﻔﺜﻪ‬ َ ْ َ َ ‫ﻫﻤﺰه‬ ِ ِ َ َّ ‫اﻟﻌﻠﻴﻢ ِﻣﻦ‬ ِ َ ِ ‫اﻋﻮذُ ِﺑﺎ‬
ِ ْ ‫اﻟﺴﻤﻴﻊ‬
ْ ْ ِ ْ َّ ‫اﻟﺸﻴﻄﺎن‬
ْ َ ِ ْ َ ِ ْ ّ ُْ َ
I seek refuge in Allah, All-Hearing and All-Knowing from the
accursed devil, from his evil suggestion, from his puffing up, and
from his spitting.
(Tirmizi)

45
 #38
INTROSPECTION

Qur’anic Guidance
ِ
‫ﻳﻜﻔﺮ‬
َ ّ َ ُّ ‫رﺑﻜﻢ أ َْن‬
ْ ُ ُّ َ ‫ﻋﺴﻰ‬ ً َ ْ َ ِ ‫ﺗﻮﺑﻮا ِإﻟَﻰ ا‬
ً ْ ُ ّ‫ﺗﻮﺑﺔ ﻧ‬
ٰ َ َ ،‫َﺼﻮﺣﺎ‬ ْ ُ ْ ُ ‫آﻣﻨﻮا‬
ِ
َ ْ َّ ‫َﻳﺎ أ ُّ ََﻳﻬﺎ‬
ْ ُ َ ‫اﻟﺬﻳﻦ‬
ِ ِ ُ َ
‫ﺳﻴﺌﺎﺗﻜﻢ‬
ْ ُ َ ّ َ ‫ﻋﻨﻜﻢ‬ ْ ْ
O believers, turn to Allah in sincere repentance, Your Lord may well
remove from you your misdeeds.
(Surah Tahreem - Verse 8)

When things go wrong, always ask: Where have we gone wrong?

Rectify wrongs, give up sins, repent, seek advice. Allah's help is
near for those who are dear.

Supplication

ْ ِ ّ َ َ ‫ﺣﺠﺘﻲ‬
‫وﺳﺪد‬ ِ ِ
ْ ِّ َ َ ‫دﻋﻮﺗﻲ‬
ْ َّ ُ ‫وﺛﺒﺖ‬ ْ َ ْ َ ‫َﺟﺐ‬
ِ ِ
ْ ‫ﺣﻮﺑﺘﻲ َوأ‬
ِ ْ ‫ﺗﻮﺑﺘﻲ‬
ْ َ ْ َ ْ‫واﻏﺴﻞ‬ َ ْ ِ َ ْ َ ْ‫ﺗﻘﺒﻞ‬ ِّ َ
َّ َ َ ‫رب‬
َ َ ْ ِ َ ْ‫واﺳﻠﻞ‬ ِ ِ ْ َ ‫ﻟﺴﺎﻧﻲ‬
ِ ِ
ْ ِ ْ َ ‫ﺳﺨﻴﻤﺔ‬
‫ﺻﺪري‬ ُ ْ َ ‫ﻗﻠﺒﻲ‬
ْ ْ َ ‫واﻫﺪ‬ ْ َ
My Lord, accept my repentance, wash away my sin, answer my
supplication, clearly establish my evidence, make true my tongue,
guide my heart, and draw out the malice in my chest.”
(Tirmizi)

46
 #39
ACCOUNTABILITY

Qur’anic Guidance
ِ ِ ْ ‫أﺟﻮرﻛﻢ ﻳﻮم‬
‫ٱﻟﻘﻴﺎﻣﺔ‬ ِ ْ ‫ذآﺋﻘﺔ‬
ِ َ ،‫ٱﻟﻤﻮت‬
َ ْ َّ َ ُ ‫وإﻧّ ََﻤﺎ‬ ِ ٍ ْ َ ُ ‫ُﻛﻞ‬
َ َ َ ْ َ ْ ُ َ ْ ُ ُ ‫ﺗﻮﻓﻮن‬ ْ َ ُ َ َ ‫ﻧﻔﺲ‬ ّ
“Every sole shall taste death, and indeed you will be given your
recompense for the Day of Judgement for what you did.
(Surah Al Imran - Verse 185)

Each one will go to one’s own grave and stand alone before Allah
Ta'ala to answer for oneself, not for others. With this in mind, do
one's duty and leave the rest to Allah.

Supplication

‫ﻳﺴﻴﺮا‬ِ ِ ِ َ ‫اﻟﻠﻬﻢ‬
ً ْ َّ ‫ﺣﺴﺎﺑﺎ‬
ً َ ‫ﺣﺎﺳﺒﻨﺎ‬
َْ َّ ُ َ
O Allah! Grant us an easy reckoning
(Tabarani)

47
 #40
SUPPLICATION

Qur’anic Guidance

‫َﻜﻢ‬ ِ ِ
ْ ُ ‫َﺳﺘﺠﺐ ﻟ‬
ْ َ ْ ‫ادﻋﻮﻧﻲ أ‬
ْ ْ ُ ْ ‫رﺑﻜﻢ‬
ُ ُ ُّ َ ‫وﻗﺎل‬
َ ََ
And your Lord says, supplicate to me and I shall answer your prayer.
(Surah Gha r - Verse 60)

Never underestimate the power of Dua. Ask Allah for His help at
all times, especially when things are not going well.

Supplication
ِ ِ ْ َ ‫َﻋﻴﻦ‬ ِ ِ
ً َ ِ ‫ﻟﻠﻤﺘﻘﻴﻦ‬
‫إﻣﺎﻣﺎ‬ َ ْ َّ ُ ْ ‫واﺟﻌﻠﻨﺎ‬ َ ِ َ ْ ‫ﻣﻦ أ‬
َ َّ ِّ ُ َ ‫َزواﺟﻨﺎ‬
َ َ ْ ّ ٍ ُ ْ ‫وذرﻳﺎﺗﻨﺎ ُ َّﻗﺮةَ أ‬ ْ ‫ﻫﺐ ﻟ ََﻨﺎ‬
ْ َ ‫رﺑﻨﺎ‬
َ َّ َ
And those who say, “Our Lord, grant us from among our wives and
offspring comfort to our eyes and make us an example for the
righteous.”
(Surah Al Furqan - Verse 74)

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