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CJ's Farewell: A Tribute in Whitby

The document recounts a heartfelt farewell to CJ, detailing the day of his memorial in Whitby, North Yorkshire. The author describes their visit to St Mary's Church and the surrounding graveyard, where they honored CJ by lighting a candle and placing a dedication on a Christmas tree. The day culminated in scattering CJ's ashes at Tate Hill beach, symbolizing a poignant goodbye.

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willtphone
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0% found this document useful (0 votes)
90 views3 pages

CJ's Farewell: A Tribute in Whitby

The document recounts a heartfelt farewell to CJ, detailing the day of his memorial in Whitby, North Yorkshire. The author describes their visit to St Mary's Church and the surrounding graveyard, where they honored CJ by lighting a candle and placing a dedication on a Christmas tree. The day culminated in scattering CJ's ashes at Tate Hill beach, symbolizing a poignant goodbye.

Uploaded by

willtphone
Copyright
© All Rights Reserved
We take content rights seriously. If you suspect this is your content, claim it here.
Available Formats
Download as TXT, PDF, TXT or read online on Scribd

Hallie.

I won’t bore you with my excuses, or try to justify myself to you with a list of
excuses why it has taken me so long to send this package to you. My problems are
not your problems, and all I can do is apologise to you, and hope that you can
forgive me my delays. In any case, attached are details of the day CJ was laid to
rest in Whitby, North Yorkshire, England.

We knew that we wanted to make CJs last day with us special, and so a couple of
days after Christmas, we drove him up to Whitby Abbey headlands, and parked a short
walk from the famous ruins.

As you can see, the day was slightly overcast. There was also a bite in the air, as
though it might snow later, but there was no frost on the ground.

Walking around the field to get to the churchyard, we had to duck under an absurdly
low arch. I don’t know how tall CJ was, but I’m 6’, and if I hadn’t ducked, the
arch cones up to the bridge of my nose



Through the arch, as turn right, there’s a shirt diet track, which delivers us to
the rear of a large Manor House, which has in the past served as apartments, but is
now the Abbey visitors centre.


Passing the visitors centre, we come to a large cobbled courtyard, from which the
Abbey ruins are clearly visible.




Turning left out of the courtyard, away from the Abbey we are greeted with the
entrance to an ancient gothic graveyard, and the site of St Mary’s Church.



I’m not a religious person, but it’s not difficult to be impressed by the graveyard
and it’s tiny church - one of the oldest still in use; built in around 1110 (with a
“new” interior from around 1850) the graveyard which surrounds it was an important
location in Bram Stoker’s “Dracula”.


As I have indicated, I’m not religious, and I don’t know if you are, or CJ was, but
never the less my partner and I brought him here, on his last day with us, for a
very specific reason.


Every year, the church hosts a Christmas tree exhibition.












At the front of the church, near the Pulpit, is a rack of candles, which the public
may light in exchange for a small donation, in order to offer prayer or remembrance



Having lit a candle for CJ, we looked around the trees. Until we found one we knew
would be there; one on which you are invited to fill in a cardboard decoration in
memory of someone who has passed.

Sadly they were out of the paper baubles, and a few people had taken to leaving
scraps of paper instead. Looking through my pockets for something to use, I found
the card you had sent me with CJs ashes. I carefully removed the front of it and,
using a pen from the gift shop at the front of the church, my partner wrote a brief
dedication, before I placed your card in the tree.



One more “interactive” tree before we headed to say goodbye to CJ; a tree which
invites you to select and tie a ribbon.





You’ll see that this tree is bellow and left of an image of a Christmas tree made
for stylised poppies; this seemed very apt as in the UK, these poppies are used to
show respect or thanks to members of the armed forces.

Near the prayer tree was a basket of knitted “Tree angels” hand made by the
congregation, with an invitation to take one for either yourself, or to give as a
gift. Sadly I neglected to photograph the basket of angels, but we picked one up,
and that evening placed it o our own tree at home. That angel is enclosed. We hope
that you take some comfort in owning this part of CJs last day with us here in
Whitby.

Leaving the church, we noticed the poppy motif again, this time hanging over the
doorway.


Turning right out of the church, we are mere feet away from the famous one hundred
and minty nine steps which will take us almost all the way to Tate hill beach,
where we plan to scatter CJ.

As an aside, this is the reverse of the journey taken by Dracula when he first
landed in the UK - his boat shipwrecked on Tate hill, and he (in the form of a
black dog) ran up the 199 steps towards the abbey).

The 199 steps have a landing every 30 steps or so, this is because back in. The
day, funeral precessions should carry a coffin up the steps - the landings were to
give the Paul bearers a rest where they could stand on a level.

A short trip down a side alley




This is the short pier which frames the beach, to the right are the steps down to
the sand.

The overcastness and wind had all but gone at this stage, so when we walked to the
waters edge, I was able to pout CJs remains into my hand, before saying goodbye and
casting him into the river mouth.

After the video I turned the bag inside out and washed it in the river to ensure
that every part of CJs remains were commuted to the water, then returned home and
placed his Crocheted Angel on our own tree, where it spent the rest of the
holidays.

Common questions

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The narrative interweaves personal loss with historical and cultural elements by situating the farewell to CJ within the storied location of Whitby Abbey, renowned for its connection to "Dracula." The choice of this location allows the personal act of remembrance to be enriched with layers of historical and literary significance. The mix of activities—lighting candles, using a Christmas tree for memorial decorations, and acknowledging the armed forces through poppy imagery—reflects a blending of personal memory with broader cultural practices. The environmental and architectural setting underscores a connection between past traditions and current expressions of grief, creating a multifaceted commemoration .

The farewell narrative reflects broader themes of peace and transition through its journey from the somber, introspective environment of Whitby Abbey to the serene act of scattering ashes at Tate Hill Beach. The processional nature of the narrative from one symbolic place to another emphasizes a gradual emotional transition. Activities like participating in candle lighting and tying ribbons serve as emotional checkpoints, facilitating connection and peaceful remembrance. The physical journey, paired with cultural and natural symbolism (such as the Abbey's storied past), underscores a smooth transition from mourning to acceptance, encapsulating themes of closure and continuity within a culturally enriched framework .

The individuals personalized their farewell for CJ by engaging in activities that allowed for personal expression and remembrance. They lit a candle at the church, attempted to fill in a cardboard decoration in memory of CJ, though they had to use the card that came with CJ's ashes due to no available baubles, and placed it on a tree. They also participated in a tradition involving tying a ribbon to a tree, and took a knitted 'Tree angel' from the church, which they later placed on their own Christmas tree .

Natural and man-made structures in the Whitby Abbey area played significant roles in setting the scene for the farewell ceremony. The overcast sky and the bite in the air contributed to a somber, reverent atmosphere. Man-made structures like the Abbey ruins, the gothic graveyard, and the church with its Christmas trees and candles provided a solemn backdrop for the activities. The 199 steps, with their historical purpose of being resting points for pallbearers, added to the introspective journey, marking the transition from the spiritual to the natural as CJ's remains were scattered at Tate Hill Beach .

The environmental conditions, like the overcast sky and the cold bite in the air, contributed significantly to the emotional tone of CJ's farewell, instilling an atmosphere of somberness and introspection. The threat of snow without visible frost added to the sense of quiet anticipation and reflective peace, aligning naturally with the emotional weight of the farewells. As the ceremony progressed and the weather shifted, the absence of wind and cold at the beach provided a calm and serene setting for scattering CJ's ashes, suggesting a metaphoric release from the emotional and physical burden of perceived weather adversity, thus amplifying the poignancy of the moment .

The use of objects such as the knitted "Tree angel" and actions like lighting candles serve as effective conduits for capturing and conveying memories during the farewell process. These symbolic objects and actions allow mourners to externalize and ritualize their grief, providing focal points for memory and reflection. The "Tree angel," a hand-made, tangible item, encapsulates care and the physical connection to CJ's last celebrated moments. Similarly, the act of lighting candles represents illumination and eternal remembrance, enabling participants to engage actively in the ritual, thereby internalizing the experience. These items and actions enrich the memorial process by providing shared symbols that express complex emotions in a universally understood manner .

The narrative conveys a sense of community and shared experiences through the use of public and participatory elements in the commemoration rites. Activities such as lighting a communal candle, writing messages on a shared tree decoration, and engaging with elements like 'Tree angels' provided by the congregation emphasize collective participation. The reference to poppies, a symbol of respect for armed forces, and interactions with historical sites attended by many, create a shared cultural framework for private mourning, connecting the individuals' personal loss with public symbols of memory and respect .

Implicit emotions such as reverence, love, and a desire for closure are inferred from actions like choosing to scatter CJ's ashes at such a culturally significant and peaceful site as Whitby. Values of remembrance and continuity are evident in their efforts to leave a physical token (card and ribbon) and in the use of communal church activities like lighting candles. The narrative suggests a respect for historical continuity and an appreciation for sites loaded with cultural memory, signifying a desire to contextualize CJ's memory within a larger tapestry of human experiences .

Whitby Abbey holds significant cultural context as it is prominently featured in Bram Stoker's "Dracula." The graveyard and church at Whitby Abbey are known as important locations in the novel, where Dracula first makes his appearance in England by shipwrecking on Tate Hill Beach and subsequently running up the 199 steps towards the abbey in the form of a black dog .

The exposure to varied historical contexts, such as the "Dracula" reference, deepens the perception of the farewell ceremony by adding layers of meaning and historical resonance. Knowing the Abbey's association with "Dracula" injects an element of gothic mystique and legacy into the narrative, making the simple act of scattering ashes a part of a broader cultural narrative. This connection elevates the ceremony from a personal farewell to an intersection with literary history, imbuing the moment with enhanced cultural gravity and enriching the personal experience through historical storytelling .

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