Writing and Editing 111

Unit 3: Writing and Editing

Notes
Structure
3.1 Introduction
3.2 Essentials of Writing
3.3 Headline Writing
3.4 Caption writing
3.5 Writing from Press Releases
3.6 Basics of Editing
3.7 Rewriting
3.8 Style Guides
3.9 Writing for Web Journalism
3.10 Summary
3.11 Check Your Progress
3.12 Questions and Exercises
3.13 Key Terms
3.14 Further Readings

Objectives
After studying this unit, you should be able to:
 Understand the Essentials of Writing.
 Discuss the Headline Writing and Caption writing.
 Explain the Basics of Editing.

3.1 Introduction
Writing a news script for television seems so simple until you try it for the first time.
Experts in English or print journalism often struggle with turning stories into tight scripts
that are meant to be heard, not read. While you'll spend your entire career perfecting
your TV news writing style, mastering the basics of how to write a news script will
provide a foundation for success. These news writing tips help you create strong
content for TV news with every single script:
1. Write for the Ear: Read your script out loud. Is it easy to understand just by
hearing it one time only? Unlike in print, a TV news audience has one shot to get
the story.
That's why words that sound alike but have different meanings create stumbling
blocks for the ear. Words such as "cite", "site," and "sight" should be avoided if
possible. Short, punchy sentences are easier for the ear to digest than long,
complicated sentences that are full of dependent clauses.
2. Avoid Passive Voice: Passive voice writing jumbles up the usual sequence of
subject, verb, object in active voice writing. This sounds like a lesson from English
class, but it really makes a critical difference in broadcast news writing.
An active voice sentence is, "The robber fired the gun." You see the subject, verb,
and object. A passive sentence is, "The gun was fired by the robber." The object
and verb came before the subject.

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Viewers have to wait until the end of the line to know who did what. Then their brain
has to process that information while trying to keep up with what the newscaster is
Notes saying.
Beware of the "by" in a sentence. That's usually a giveaway the sentence has been
written in passive voice.
3. Use Present Tense Where Appropriate: TV news is designed to sound like "now."
That's another big difference between broadcast and print news writing.
A 6:00 p.m. newscast needs to sound fresh as if the news is just now unfolding.
But the mayor's news conference you covered happened at 2 o'clock. The natural
tendency is to write, "The mayor held a news conference earlier today."
By shifting the focus of the sentence to the subject of the news conference, you can
put the sentence in present tense and give it extra punch. "The mayor says he
wants to slash taxes by 20 percent. He made the announcement at a news
conference..."
That example starts out in present tense for the hook, then shifts to past tense. It's
important not to simply force the present tense into every sentence you write. It
would sound awkward in a 6 p.m. newscast to say, "He makes the announcement
at a news conference that happens at 2 o'clock."
4. Write Stories about People: This seems obvious, but it's easy to allow a script to
veer away from focusing on the people who are watching your newscast. If viewers
sense your stories don't directly affect them, they will turn away.
So when the state department of transportation announces a huge infrastructure
improvement project that involves replacing bridges around your city, you may be
presented with institutional information.
But transform it into something personal and meaningful to the people at home.
"Your drive to work or school will soon be safer and easier, thanks to a big project to
make our city's bridges better." You've taken the information and told viewers how it
could change their lives. Dissect press kits, graphs, and data before you start
writing to determine why your viewers will care about it.
5. Action Verbs Add Verve: In news writing, you can't do much to the subject or
object of your sentences, but you can spice up your verbs. They are the part of
speech that can bring life to your stories.
Look at a story to see whether you can switch a sentence that says "Residents are
requesting information..." to "Residents demand answers." That easy change adds
urgency and action.
Before you get carried away, remember your story still has to be accurate.
"Demand" may be too strong. Try, "Residents want to know."
Using "is, are, was, were" weakens the impact of the action. "Residents want
answers" sounds better than "Residents want answers."
6. Be Careful with Numbers: Numbers are hard on the viewers' ears, especially
when there are a lot of them. Make your point with a number or two, then move on.
Instead of, "The company's profit was $10,470,000, then fell to $5,695,469 a year
later," you can simplify the line to be, "The company's profit was about 10 and-a-half
million dollars, then fell to about half that the next year." The viewer gets the idea
without having to hear every last digit.
It's ideal to take big numbers and translate them into something meaningful for the
audience. Besides pointing out that the electric company is raising rates by $3.5
million, take the time to say that the hike means a typical customer will pay $200
more a year. That's the number that affects people the most.
7. Skip Cliches and Journalese: Even experienced news writers fall into a trap of
writing the same tired words and phrases. Powerful storms always "wreak havoc",

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political candidates "throw their hat into the ring" and the moments after a crime has
happened "details are sketchy."
Those empty terms make your news writing seem shallow. Replace them with
Notes
words that normal people would actually use in conversation.
Reporters often use journalese when they are confronted with the clichés of other
professions and merely repeat what they hear. A police officer may say a shooting
suspect "fled on foot". It's a TV news writer's job to change that to "ran away". The
law enforcement, government, and health care industries have their own way of
speaking, which shouldn't be repeated on the air. Otherwise, your news writing
sounds like it came straight from a press release.
8. Write to Video: Many TV news stories are read as the audience watches video
playing on the screen. Connect the words to the video as if you were leading a tour
group.
That requires you to know what is going to be on screen as the viewers hear the
script. Once you have that information, the rest is easy.
If you're talking about an embezzlement suspect while the video shows that suspect
walking down the street with his lawyer, say, "The suspect, seen here on the left
walking to the courthouse with his lawyer." That reference to the video keeps the
viewer from wondering which of the two people is the suspect while missing out on
the rest of the story.
A line like, "Watch what happens when firefighters try to get the kitten out of the
tree," forces the viewers' eyes back to the screen. Remember, some people have
the news turned on while reading the newspaper or cooking supper. Get their
attention riveted to the television.
9. Sell the Story: Print journalists may groan at this basic aspect of TV news writing.
In most cities, there's one newspaper but several TV stations providing news. That
means in television, a news writer also has to sell the product as something
different and superior to the competition.
"When the school board said there wasn't any money for classroom computers, we
decided to dig for answers." A line like that demonstrates that the news team is
aggressive, and is taking action to get to the truth.
"We are the only station with video of the brawl inside the college cafeteria." A TV
station uses its scripts to combat the perception that all newscasts in a city are the
same.
While this isn't pure journalism, this is a basic part of news writing that is common at
most TV stations. Realize that a newscast is also a television program that not only
competes with other newscasts but also all TV shows that are on the air in the
same time slot. Sell the coverage as something special.
10. Move the Story Forward: A TV news story doesn't have a "the end" at the bottom
of the script. The end of your script should usually tell the audience what will
happen next to the people involved.
"The school board will take a vote on whether to cut teachers' pay at its next
meeting," lets the audience know what developments to expect next. Leaving that
fact out leaves the audience hanging.
"We will be at that meeting and tell you the outcome of the vote," is good to add so
that your viewers will return for updates. That line reinforces that your news team
will stay on top of the story and not just drops it.
That's a lot of effort to put into a 30-second script. Even though TV news would
seem to be all about video, crisp news writing will put you above others in your
newsroom and could be the key to building your career faster than you thought
possible.

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3.2 Essentials of Writing

Notes News writing follows a basic formula; there are key elements every news story follows.
While styles can diverge more dramatically depending on the kind of story -– a feature
story may look and sound very different than a hard news one -- all news stories are cut
from the same mold. The first element of news writing is, of course, to deliver the news.

The Basics of News Writing: The 5 W’s

Most people have heard of the 5 W’s, even if they’ve never taken a journalism class.
The W’s in question, as you probably know, refer to the Who, What, When, Where
and Why that every story should address. Depending on what the story is, how and
when you answer those W’s may change. If, for example, you’re reporting on a drive-by
shooting in a city, you’ll likely start with where the crime happened (what street or area
of town for the local paper) and who was involved (if you don’t have names or the
people are regular citizens, you might refer to notable affiliations if, say, the victim and
presumed perpetrator were gang members).
Figuring out what details to give a reader, and when, is key in constructing a story.
The answer, of course, depends on the facts. If you’re working on the above story, and
the murder happens to be one of a string of similar crimes, that may be the point you
open the story with. If, however, the above story revolved around someone of note
being shot, that might be what you start your piece with.
(A story about a notable name being shot is a very different story than one about a
private. The latter might speak more to ongoing local violence while the former is a story
in and of itself -- X person has been killed and here’s what X person was known for.)

Crafting a Lede
A lede, which is a journalism slang term for the first sentence or two of a story (i.e.
lead), is an incredibly important part of the process.
You need to hook readers with your lede and, in some cases (as discussed above),
relay the important parts of your story. You need to draw a reader in while telling him
why the story matters.
Like all forms of writing, there’s no hard and fast rule about what makes a great
lede. A good lede changes depending on the story you’re writing. One of the best ways
to get familiar with what a good lede is to read. Read lots of different stories. Read
breaking news stories. Read features. Read reviews. Ledes vary wildly but, you’ll start
to notice patterns and, more importantly, what kinds of ledes you like and feel are
effective. You can get more basics from this piece from the University of Arkansas on
ledes, but I suggest following it up with lots of reading.

Getting Your Nut graf

A nut graf, another journalism slang term, is the summarization of what the story’s
about. A nut graf (also written with as “nut graf”) can be a sentence or a paragraph and,
sometimes, may also be your lede.
Nut grafs are incredibly important. Some might argue they are the heart of a story
because they relay why the story matters. A nut graf needs to address why the story is
being written, whether the piece is about something like the aforementioned murder, or
a profile of a famous celebrity.
Like ledes, nut grafs vary wildly from story to story. Nut grafs can also be harder to
identify than ledes so a good exercise to read lots of different stories and try to find the
nut graf. (If you do this outside of a classroom setting, it might be a good idea to find
someone who can go over your findings with you.)

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How Style Comes Into Play
The basics outlined above apply directly to all stories but, most obviously, to your Notes
classic news story. That said all stories have ledes and nut grafs, no matter what they’re
about or where you find them. These elements are applied differently, and often more
subtly, in long-form journalism and feature stories, but they’re still there. All (good)
stories have ledes and nut graf.
I’ve said elsewhere on this site that the best way to become a better writer is to read
more.
I’ve gotten this piece of advice and I know others who’ve given it. One of the best
ways to see how the basic elements of news writing can be applied to wildly different
stories is to read, back to back, three very different pieces. For this exercise, I suggest
reading the lead story in any major paper. The front page of a paper (online and in print)
offers the biggest news stories of the day and there you’ll find straight, hard news. It
might be local, it might be international. Then hit the features section of the paper.
Check out: The Arts section of the Times or, say, the Washington Post’s Arts & Living
section, and read a review, then another trend story. Then read a piece of long-form
journalism in a magazine like The New Yorker or Esquire. (In The New Yorker nearly
every article, save the reviews and pieces from Talk of the Town, is an example of long-
form journalism.)
Now think about how different each piece reads. Find the nut graf in each story and
pay attention to how much each lede varies. Notice that some stories have nut grafs
that appear well below the lede, and others begin with the nut graf. Notice how the nut
graf is more obvious in the news stories, than in the features or the magazine stories.
All these stories rely on the basic elements of news writing but do so in different styles.
This exercise is good for giving a sense of the breadth of journalism, and how differently
the rules of news writing can be applied.
There are two kinds of people: Those who think they can write, and those who think
they can't. Very often, both are wrong.
Most of us fall somewhere in the middle: We are capable of producing good writing
or, at least, better writing.
Why does good writing matter? Isn't the best content marketing something short,
snappy, and non-text? Like Skype's Born Friends video, Lowe's Vines, or Chipotle's
haunting video commentary?
Sometimes, yes, but here I'm not just talking about content in a marketing context;
I'm talking about content, period.
Text is the backbone of the Web, and it's often the backbone of any content you
watch or listen to, as well. That Born Friends video started with a story and a script.
Words matter. Your words (what you say) and style (how you say it) are your most
cherished (and undervalued) assets, yet they are so often overlooked.
Think of this way: If a visitor came to your website without its branding in place
(logo, tagline, and so on), would he or she recognize it as yours? Are you telling your
story there from your unique perspective, with a voice and style that are clearly all
yours?
Here, in no particular order, are things I've learned about the necessary qualities of
good writing (or content, in our digital vernacular), based on my own 25 years'
experience as a writer and editor-and my even longer career as a reader.
1. Good writing anticipates readers' questions. Good writing serves the reader, not
the writer. It isn't indulgent. "The reader doesn't turn the page because of a hunger
to applaud," said longtime writing teacher Don Murray. Rather, good writing
anticipates what questions readers will have as they read a piece, and (before they
ask them) it answers them.

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That means most good writers are natural skeptics, especially regarding their own
work. They relentlessly think of things from their reader's point of view: What
Notes experience is this creating for the reader? What questions might they have?
(I did this before listing the qualities of good writing: I thought, "Why does good
writing even matter to you? Why should any of us care?")
George Orwell said the "scrupulous writer" will ask himself at least four questions in
every sentence: "What am I trying to say? What words will express it? What image
or idiom will make it clearer? Is this image fresh enough to have an effect? He or
she will probably ask himself two more: Could I put it more succinctly? Have I said
anything that is avoidably ugly?"
Here's where marketing can really help add value in a business context, by the way,
because "simple" means "making it easy for the customer." It means being the
advocate for them. As Georgy Cohen writes, "The marketer should be identifying
(and ruthlessly refining) the core messages and the top goals, then working with the
web professionals to create a website supporting them."
2. Good writing is grounded in data. Data puts your content in context and gives
you credibility. Ground your content in facts: data, research, fact-checking, and
curating. Your ideas and opinions and spin might be part of that story—or they
might not be, depending on what you are trying to convey. Content that's rooted in
something true—not just your own opinion—is more credible.
Said another way, “data before declaration”. If you are going to tell me what you
think, give me a solid reason why you think it.
3. Good writing is like good teaching. Good writing strives to explain, to make
things a little bit clearer, to make sense of our world, even if it's just a product
description.
"A writer always tries… to be part of the solution, to understand a little about life and
to pass this on," says Anne Lamott in Bird by Bird.
4. Good writing tells a full story. Good writing roots out opposing viewpoints. As
Joe Chernov says, "There's a name for something with a single point of view:
It's called a press release." Incorporate multiple perspectives when the issue lends
itself to that. At the very least, don't ignore the fact that other points of view might
exist; to do so could make readers distrust you.
5. Good writing comes on the rewrite. That implies that there is a rewrite, of
course—and there should be.
Writing is hard work, and producing a lousy first draft is often depressing, but the
important thing is to get something down so you can start chipping it into something
resembling a coherent narrative.
As Don Murray said, "The draft needs fixing, but first it needs writing." Or Mark
Twain: "Writing is easy. All you have to do is cross out the wrong words."
6. Good writing is like math. I mean this in two ways: First, good writing has logic
and structure. It feels solid to the reader: The writer is in control and has taken on
the heavy burden of shaping a lumpy jumble of thoughts into something clear and
accessible.
It might not follow a formula, exactly, but there is architecture to it. Good writing has
more logic to it than you might think.
Second, good writing is inherently teachable—just as trigonometry or algebra or
balancing a balance sheet is a skill any of us can master. Journalism professor Matt
Waite writes in his essay, How I Faced My Fears and Learned to Be Good at Math:
"The difference between good at math and bad at math is hard work. It's trying. It's
trying hard. It's trying harder than you've ever tried before. That's it."
I think the same is true about writing. Ta-Nehisi Coates, a senior editor at The
Atlantic, spent a year teaching writing to MIT students. He later wrote: "I felt that the
rigor of math had better prepared these kids for the rigor of writing. One of my

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students insisted that whereas in math you could practice and get better, in writing
you either 'had it' or you didn't. I told her that writing was more like math then she
suspected." Notes
7. Good writing is simple, but not simplistic. Business—like life—can be
complicated. Products can be involved or concepts may seem impenetrable, but
good content deconstructs the complex to make it easily understood. It sheds
corporate-speak and conveys things in accessible, human terms. A bit of wisdom
from my journalism days: No one will ever complain that you've made things too
simple to understand.
"Simple" does not equal "dumbed-down." Another gem from my journalism
professors: Assume the reader knows nothing, but don't assume the reader is
stupid.
If you think your business-to-business concept is too complex to be conveyed
simply, take a look at the very first line of The Economist's style guide: "The first
requirement of The Economist is that it should be readily understandable. Clarity of
writing usually follows clarity of thought. So think what you want to say, then say it
as simply as possible."
8. Good writing doesn't get hung up on what's been said before. Rather, it elects
to simply say it better. Here's where style can be a differentiator—in literature and
on your website.
Mark Twain described how a good writer treats sentences: "At times he may indulge
himself with a long one, but he will make sure there are no folds in it, no
vaguenesses, no parenthetical interruptions of its view as a whole; when he has
done with it, it won't be a sea-serpent with half of its arches under the water; it will
be a torch-light procession." He might also have said: "Write with clarity, and don't
be indulgent." But he didn't use those words.
That doesn't mean you have to be a literary genius, of course. It only means you
have to hone your own unique perspective and voice.
9. A word about writers: Good writers aren't smug. Most of the really good writers I
know still feel a little sheepish calling themselves a "writer," because that's a term
freighted with thick tomes of excellence. But like many achievements in life—being
called a success, or a good parent—the label seems more meaningful when it's
bestowed upon you by others.
"Most of the time I feel stupid, insensitive, mediocre, talentless, and vulnerable—like
I'm about to cry any second—and wrong. I've found that when that happens, it
usually means I'm writing pretty well, pretty deeply, pretty rawly." —Andre Dubus III,
in "House of Sand and Fog"
 Bonus Good writing has a good editor. Writers get the byline and any glory, but
behind the scenes, a good editor adds a lot to the process.
Remember what I said about there being two kinds of people? Those who think
they can write, and those who think they can't—and that very often, both are
wrong? A good editor coaxes the best out of so-called writers and non-writers
alike.
The best writing—like the best parts of life, perhaps—is collaborative.
By the way, is it odd that I'm seeding what's essentially business advice with insight
from artists? If so, why is that odd?
In a world where we have an opportunity and responsibility to tell our stories online,
we should find not just the right words, but the very best ones.

3.3 Headline Writing

On the average, five times as many people read the headlines as read the body copy.
DAVID OGILVY

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If you talk to enough copywriters, you’ll eventually hear that headlines are critical for
your copy’s success. David Ogilvy summarizes this quite well in the quote above. The
Notes greater majority of people who read your headline won’t continue reading. Only the
ones drawn in by an attention-grabbing headline will continue on to read the first
sentence of your copy.
So your headline matters a lot. A great headline convinces more people to read
your copy while a poor one sends potential customers searching for somewhere else to
spend their money. This leads us to another famous Ogilvy quote:
“It follows that unless your headline sells your product, you have wasted 90 percent
of your money…”
Ogilvy believed headlines were so important that he viewed them as being worth
90% of the money invested in advertising. Can this be true?

Why Headlines are Worth 90% of the Advertising Dollar

Headlines are so important that a single word can impact a campaign dramatically.
We’ve seen e-mail subject lines where a one word change increased click-throughs by
46%.
Open rates were nearly identical and the e-mail creative was exactly the same for
both versions, but click-throughs went up by 46% in the second. If the ad was sent to
2,000,000 e-mails, the winning version would lead to 17,000+ more clicks, all from
changing a single word. That’s a measurable difference that significantly impacts the
bottom line.
So why are headlines so important? It’s because they’re the first lines of your copy
that customers read. They create an initial impression that either draws readers in or
pushes them away. Even if the rest of the copy is amazing and would convince 3 out of
10 people to buy, if the headline puts them to sleep, only a fraction of the customers
who would have bought something will read your copy and make a purchase.
The headline alone can make or break an ad, homepage, or e-mail subject line. It
sets the tone for the rest of the copy. If the headline pulls readers in, you’ll make more
sales; if not, you’ll be left wondering what happened.
And that’s why we’re devoting an entire chapter to headlines. By following the
points in this chapter, you’ll learn how to write attention-grabbing headlines that convert
readers into buyers.

How to Write Attention Grabbing Headlines that Convert

The first thing you need to know is the #1 rule for headline writing:
The primary purpose of the headline is to get the first sentence read.
If you hang around copywriting circles long enough, you’re sure to read this rule at
one point or another because most copywriters’ view getting potential customers to
continue reading as the number rule of headline writing. Convincing your customers to
keep reading means the time or money you invest in your copy won’t go to waste. So
first, focus on writing a headline that pulls your customers in and compels them to read
the first sentence.
Here are four more rules of thumb to keep in mind. They’re taught as the “four u’s”
of headline writing by a number of copywriters.
The four u’s:
 Your headline should be unique.
 Your headline should be ultra-specific.
 Your headline should convey a sense of urgency.
 Your headline should be useful.
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You can rarely accomplish all four in a single headline, but if you can at least
include one or two then you’re bound to write a headline that’s more likely to compel
your prospective customers to continue reading. Notes
Let’s talk about each in more detail.

Tip One: Your Headline Should Be Unique

The first thing you want to consider is how to make your headline unique. If yours is just
like everyone else’s, then your company won’t stand out. Your customers won’t have
any reason to think you’re different than your competitors, which means they won’t have
any reason to buy from you than from someone else.
Today’s consumers are more savvy than customers of the past. They’re used to
being bombarded with commercial after commercial that says the same thing. We can
all remember watching a commercial with lines like, “Buy now with three low payments
of $24.95. That’s right. Only $24.95 per month. If you buy today, you’ll get a free carrot
peeler valued at $19.95.”
Businesses use commercials like this because they work, at least on a subset of
customers, but many people are turned off by commercial wording they’ve heard over
and over again. As soon as they hear, “Three equal payments of $24.95,” they tune out
waiting for something that seems more credible.
If you sound the same as everyone else, you’re automatically going to put
customers to sleep, but if you do something different, you’ll stand out, your message will
be refreshing, and you may delight your customers enough to get them to buy from you.

Here’s an example from Copy Hackers

Technically this is a tagline, but really, taglines are headlines of sorts.
What’s so great about this “headline”? For starters, it’s unique. It’s not a boring
tagline that reads the same as the thousands of other taglines that copy each other. It’s
also brazen. It shows personality. It stands out. It gets customers’ attention.
To write headlines like this you have to be willing to take risks, but the benefit of
doing something unique that stands out means you won’t be placed in the same bucket
as your competition. You’re more likely to connect with customers who are looking for
businesses that don’t speak like boring corporate robots.
It works first and foremost because it has personality. People like to do business
with people they like, and the same is true with businesses. If people like your business,
they’re more likely to want to do business with you. We’d rather give our money to
someone we like than someone we don’t.
Butchers and other local service providers used to differentiate themselves by being
more personable, and you can differentiate yourself by giving your business a
personality that appeals to customers. Gary Vaynerchuk did this with Wine Library TV,
and Brian Clark did this with Copy blogger. Mail Chimp is another great example of a
business that wins customers over with a unique, approachable personality that stands
out from the competition.

Tip Two: Your Headline Should be Ultra-Specific

In addition to being unique, your headline should be ultra-specific. It should provide
enough information to let customers know whether or not the offer you're presenting is
interesting to them. If your headline isn’t specific enough, customers won’t know
whether or not what you’re selling is something they’re interested in.

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Here’s an example:

Notes A while ago I visited a blog with this headline: “You’ll Be Missed.” I had no idea what it
was about. Did the owner lose a family member? Did her dog pass away? Did
something else terrible happen? I felt bad for her, but I had no idea what was going on.
When I clicked through, I found out it was a post about Steve Jobs. He had just
passed away in the past couple of days, and the author was writing about how she
would miss Mr. Jobs. It ended up being a well-written post, but as a reader, I had no
idea what it was about until I clicked through to read.
In cases like this, it’s much better to provide enough specific information to compel
readers to continue reading than to write something “clever” that doesn’t give readers
adequate information to decide whether or not they’re interested. Here’s another
example:
With this homepage headline, Rejoiner conveys a specific benefit and singles out
who they’re selling to. They get the attention of e-retailers with “abandoned carts” while
letting them know they’ll get “15% more sales.” It’s clear, it’s specific, and it’s effective.
If it wasn’t this specific, e-retailers may not know the offer is targeted to them. They
could read the headline, not know they’re the ideal customer, and then move on.
Headlines should be specific enough to get the attention of the company’s target
customers.

Tip Three: Your Headline Should Convey a Sense Of Urgency

When possible, your headline should convey a sense of urgency. It should include
something that compels readers to continue reading so they don’t miss out. This isn’t a
rule that can always be used, but when it can, it works really well.

Here’s an example:
This post ended up doing well on the KISS metrics blog. It’s titled “Are You Losing
Sales by Giving Customers Too Many Choices?” So why was it so successful?
One of the reasons is that it conveys a sense of urgency. When business owners
read it, automatically they think, “Hmmm...maybe I am losing sales. I need to read this
article to find out.” And then they click through to read. The urgency of losing sales
compels them to read the post.
Whenever possible, it’s good to write headlines that convey a sense of urgency to
convince people to continue reading.

Tip Four: Your Headline should be Useful

This may be the most important tip of all. If your headline isn’t useful and doesn’t
convey a benefit, then it may not give people a reason to continue on past the headline.
People want to know what benefit they’ll receive from reading what you’ve written.
This also happens to be one of the rules that companies break the most. They end
up writing something clever because for some reason most people think that’s the point
of writing a headline. In doing so they fail to communicate a benefit and fail to give
readers a reason to continue reading. Eventually, they end up with disappointing sales
because no one pays attention to their copy. That’s a mistake you don’t want to make.

Here’s an example of a good headline that conveys a benefit:

What benefit is Bidsketch promising? They’re promising that you can create
professional client proposals in minutes, which ultimately means you’ll land more clients
and save time in the process. What’s not to like?

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Writing Your First Headline
Now that we’ve talked about four tips for writing attention grabbing headlines that Notes
convert, let’s practice writing a headline for your business.
First, start a document titled “Copywriting — YOUR PRODUCT NAME.” The sample
project will be titled “Copywriting — Simple Survey Tool.”
Next, write down the first headline that comes to mind. We’ll use the following for
the sample project:
 Headline 1: Easy-to-Use Surveys for Website Owners
This headline isn’t very good on purpose so we can learn what’s not good about it.
For starters, it conveys a vague benefit. Being “easy-to-use” is a benefit, but it’s
expected that tools like this would be easy to use.
It’s also very general. It describes the tool as “easy-to-use surveys.” Instead, it
should stand out from other survey tools by mentioning how this one is made
specifically for surveying website visitors. There are plenty of other tools for doing
general surveys. This one is special because it allows site owners to survey their
visitors.
Finally, it isn’t targeted. It mentions that it’s for “website owners,” but we previously
defined our target audience as startups and marketing agencies. Speaking to
general website owners means that our offer won’t stand out to our target market.
They won’t realize our product is targeted specifically for them.
Let’s work on improving this headline by opening our product description document
titled “Product Description — Simple Survey Tool.” Scroll down to question three —
What big benefit does it provide? — and read the answer. Here’s what it says:
Let’s write a few more headline variations based on this.
 Headline 2: Learn More about Your Visitors and How They Interact with Your Site
 Headline 3: Find Out Which Questions Visitors Are Asking and What’s Important to
Them
 Headline 4: Optimize Your Site by Learning More about Your Customers
 Headline 5: Gain Insights That Increase Conversion Rates and Sales
These headlines are an improvement over variation one since headline one
describes the product but doesn’t convey a benefit. These headlines focus on the
actual benefit the product provides instead of merely describing the product.
Of these four options, number five seems to be the best because it goes beyond the
surface level benefit and describes what people really want which is to increase
conversion rates and sales. Learning more about customers is good, but the point
of that is to increase conversions and sales.
It’s impossible to know which of these is the best without testing, which we’ll need to
do at some point, but let’s go on to see if our survey results can help us to improve
even more.
Go back to your folder and open the document titled “Survey Responses — YOUR
PRODUCT NAME.”
Next, look at the first question — How would you describe our product to a friend or
colleague. Here are the sample answers:
Let’s write a few more headlines based on these answers:
 Headline 6: The Easy Way to Survey Customers and Know What Questions to Ask
 Headline 7: The Easy Way to Come Up with Actionable Survey Questions
 Headline 8: The Easy Way to Survey Website Visitors and Learn More about Them
These are three good headlines we can glean from the answers. Out of these
options, #8 seems to be the best because #’s 6 and 7 convey more of a side

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benefit. The real benefit of using the survey tool is learning about site visitors and
improving the site. A secondary benefit is knowledge of which questions to ask.
Notes Thus, we’ll add #8 to our list of finalists.
Another survey question we can look at is number four — What did you hope to
accomplish by using this product? Here are the answers:
And here are some headlines we can write:
 Headline 9: Increase Sales Online by Learning More about Your Customers
 Headline 10: Write Better Copy and Increase Sales with Actionable Customer
Insights
 Headline 11: Optimize Your Site by Understanding Your Visitors
 Headline 12: The Best Way to Find out Who’s Visiting Your Site
Out of these four, #’s 9 and 10 appear to be the best since they communicate a real
benefit of using the survey tool. Optimizing your site and finding out who’s visiting it are
both nice, but the point of those is to increase sales and write better copy. Thus, we’ll
add 9 and 10 to our list of finalists.
Here’s a screenshot of the twelve headlines with the finalists in bold:
We’ll save these for now and come back to them later.

So what did we learn in this section?

First, we learned it’s not good enough to merely describe the product in a headline. It’s
much better to convey the big benefit the customer will receive by using the product.
Second, we learned that survey responses can be a good source for headlines
because they reveal the words customers use to talk about your product. By paying
attention to survey answers, you’re less likely to use words that aren’t in your
customers’ vocabulary while highlighting a benefit that actually matters to them.
Now that we’ve written some practice headlines of our own, let’s look at a sampling
of headlines around the internet to see what we can learn.

Example Headlines

Example #1: Ginzametrics

One of the things Ginza metrics does well with this headline is start with two words in all
caps — GET FOUND. This causes the headline stand out since every other headline
online is somewhere between eight and fifteen words long. It gets points for being
unique while effectively communicating a benefit using two simple words.
It also gets points for mentioning two specific benefits in the next line — driving
more traffic and increasing revenue. Right away, customers know how they’ll benefit
from using the product.
The headline (or sub-headline if you want to get technical) is even more specific in
that it mentions the traffic and revenue is derived from SEO. They don’t just make a
general claim but show specifically how the benefit will be generated. They also get the
attention of anyone interested in improving their SEO.
Finally, they have a broad target where they mention “improving your brand’s
findability.” This is ok if they’re targeting any and all brands, but it could be improved if
their customers were specific like enterprise-level clients or startups. If not, a brand is
just fine.

Example #2: Indochino

This is an example of a headline that’s not very good (sorry Indochino). It’s very vague
and doesn’t communicate much to customers. The two lines say “ULTIMATE TECH

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COLLECTION” and “NOTHING STANDS IN THE WAY OF STYLE” but neither of those
communicates anything of value to customers. They could be considered clever, but
really they just come off as confusing and borderline meaningless. Notes
However, once you click through, you find a more meaningful sub-headline.
This headline helps to explain what the Ultimate Tech Collection is and what it
means for nothing to stand in the way of style, but without the explanation, customers
are left scratching their heads trying to figure out what’s on the next page.
It’s possible we’re wrong and that Indochino gets more click-throughs with the
vague headline and sub-headline on the homepage, but we’re pretty sure that the more
specific sub-headline would generate more click-throughs and sales.

Example #3: Quicksprout

QuickSprout uses the above headline in a HelloBar to direct people to a sales page.
Why does it work so well?
For starters, it’s very specific. Not only does it mention the benefit of working with
Neil — increasing traffic — but it shows a very specific amount in a specific period of
time — 30% in 60 days. Specific results are always more impactful than general claims.
Next, it mentions a well-respected website that a lot of businesses look up to —
TechCrunch. Many companies would like to generate as much traffic as TechCrunch,
so by mentioning them, it’s implied that other companies can drive traffic numbers like
TechCrunch’s.
The specificity of this headline makes it unique since most companies only make
general claims, and it makes it effective because people respond better to specific,
measurable, factual results.

Example #4: Crazyegg

This is a great example of why it’s important to test headlines and any other website
changes. On the surface, it may not seem like the most impressive headline, but
Conversion Rate Experts used it to increase conversions by 30%. Why does it work,
you ask? Great question.
The primary reason it works so well is that it communicates the real value of using
CrazyEgg. Paying $50 per month for a heat map tool seems expensive until it’s
compared to eye-tracking technology which costs thousands of dollars. Thus, the
headline quickly communicates the value of using CrazyEgg by comparing it to
something that costs much, much more.
It’s also a unique headline that doesn’t follow the template that most websites use.
By doing something different, CrazyEgg stands out from the competition.

Example #5: Trunk Club

This very well may be the best headline online at the moment. It goes well beyond
describing the service. An amateur would write a descriptive headline like “Get a Trunk
of Designer Clothes Delivered Directly to Your Doorstep.” A better copywriter would
write something like “Get a Trunk of Clothes That Will Make You Look Great.” This
headline goes so much further.
Instead of just describing the service or conveying a simple benefit, it digs down to
the core of what men want from a service like this. It connects on an emotional level by
appealing to their vanity. It doesn’t merely describe what the service does or how it
works; it communicates what every man wants which is to be the best-dressed guy in
the room.
Your goal should be to write a headline like this that goes beyond a simple
description or a surface-level benefit. You want to figure out what customers really want

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to get out of using your product and communicate that in your headline. In a lot of ways,
Trunk Club’s headline is the standard you should be striving for.
Notes
3.4 Caption writing

A supercell thunderstorm rolls across the Montana prairie at sunset. (Photo and
caption by Sean Heavey) Click on photo to see more National Geographic Photography
Contest winners.

By Rob Melton
Notice what you just did? You looked at the featured photo, then you looked under the
photo for the words to help you understand what you just viewed. Then you looked back
at the photo to fully appreciate what you know now that you didn’t know just a few
seconds before that.
The photo and caption complement each other. The caption tells the reader what,
where and when while the photo provokes a visceral, emotional reaction. The loop, as
we call it, satisfies your curiosity, and compels you to read the story and sidebars.
Every single photo must have a caption (newspaper people like to call them
cutlines), and each must quickly tell the reader what the picture itself cannot say:
Names, stories, dates, places, significance. The 5W’s and H. Some stories can be told
exclusively through pictures and captions.
When it comes to copywriting, captions are the one-two punch that delivers. While
how to write great stories is a topic for another article, there are a few simple techniques
you can use to consistently write great captions.

Captions that tell and intrigue

When someone looks at a picture, they’ll look at the caption for the specifics (name,
place, context), but every caption should also intrigue in a way that makes them look
back at the picture because they just learned something they didn’t know before they
read the caption. If the picture and caption work well together, they’ll look at the
headline and then the story.
National Geographic captions are excellent examples. As a strategy, the captions
work from either specific to general, or general to specific. They intrigue you, and make
you want to read the story. BINGO! People look at the photograph first, then the
caption, then back to the photo as they become intrigued, and then to the story. And the
story better be ready to reward them immediately for taking a chance and glancing at
the first paragraph or two.

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Finish the Picture Story with Words
You have an opportunity with every caption you write to complete the picture. There are Notes
some things a picture is great at showing (at its best, action/reaction), and some things
it can’t tell you (the 5W’s and H) such as listing names, grades, classes, teams, titles,
places, dates, significance of event, context. Great pictures deserve great copy, but
they complement each other. Each has a role to play, and together the overall effect of
the combination is what’s important. Also, use captions and texts to extend the basic
story.

PORTLAND, OREGON — November 17, 2011 — A police officer deployed pepper

spray at SW Yamhill, between the JP Morgan Chase bank and Pioneer Courthouse
Square. The photo was taken from the southeast corner of the square, looking toward
the intersection of 6th and Yamhill after a day of marching through downtown Portland,
Ore., by Occupy Portland participants. People gathered on the east side of the Steel
Bridge earlier in the morning to demonstrate in support of the Occupy movement, on the
day known as N17. Several people were arrested and the march continued over the
lower span of the bridge into downtown, where a rally was planned. Later in the day
people were arrested in a Wells Fargo branch downtown. Photo by Randy L.
Rasmussen/The Oregonian [Link] 11/
occupy_portland_n17_protesters.html

Strip the Story

Strip the story down to its essence by moving story elements not essential to the
immediate story to the captions and sidebars. Make the cutline work for a living. Use
prepositional phrases, and recast the lines until you have picture nouns and action
verbs. Let caption information move the story forward. Focus on the action, and keep
the action going with each new phrase, clause and sentence. Captions are great places
for those bits and pieces that got left on the cutting room floor during editing, or that are
not essential to the primary narrative.

Intrigue the Reader

Cutlines should inform, surprise, delight and intrigue readers. Here’s what readers do:
They look at the biggest picture on the page, then look under it for a caption and read it.
So far so good. The caption should be written to offer tantalizing insights that make the
reader look back at the picture to completely understand it. At this point, they have
invested a little effort and been rewarded with some intriguing information. Now they

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want to know more, so they look at the headline, then the first couple of paragraphs to
see if the rewards will continue. If you don’t start with your best material, you’ll lose
Notes them before they get into the story, sidebar elements, or even other photos. Reward
readers by revealing new insights and information with every few paragraphs. When
they finish the spread, they’ll know they’re smarter than the average bear, because they
know the inside story.

Writing Captions
 Do not begin with the words a, an or the.
 Use present tense to describe action in a photo.
 Give readers information they cannot get from just looking at a photo.
 A caption should complete the photo. The reader should not have to look at the
story, but should want to look at the story.
 Write captions so they go from specific to general or general to specific.
 Do not begin a caption with names.
 When identifying members of a group, write “from left,” not “from left to right.
 “Above” and “pictured here” are unnecessary.
 Captions should not repeat information contained in the lead.
 Name people only if they are important to the picture.
 Vary the way you begin captions:
 prepositional phrases
 infinitive -phrases
 participial phrases
 adjective phrases
 questions
 exclamations
 play on words

3.5 Writing from Press Releases

Making it Pop
1
Write a genuine headline. It should be brief, clear and to the point: an ultra-compact
version of the press release’s key point. Plenty of PR professionals recommend writing
your headline at the end, after the rest of the release is written. If you follow that
instruction, continue on and come back to writing the headline once the rest is done.
The headline is known as the eye-catcher and is very important to the whole release.
WikiHow recognized as most reliable information source. See how that works?
Now you want to know more! News release headlines should have a "grabber" to attract
journalists, just as a newspaper headline is meant to grab readers. It may describe the
latest achievement of an organization, a recent newsworthy event, a new product or
service.
Headlines written in bold! A bold headline also typically uses a larger font size
than the body copy. Conventional press release headlines use the present tense and
exclude "a" and "the", as well as forms of the verb "to be" in certain contexts.
First word capitalized. As are all proper nouns. Most headline words appear in
lower-case letters, although using a stylized "small caps" font style can create a more
graphically news-attractive look and feel. Do not capitalize every word.

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Extract important keywords. The simplest method to create the press release
headline is to extract the most important keywords from your press release. From these
keywords, try to frame a logical and attention-getting statement. If including a summary Notes
sentence after the headline, the same rules apply. Using keywords early will give you
better visibility in search engines, and it will be simpler for journalists and readers to get
the idea of the press release content. Look at the actions in this first step, and notice
how every one of them could be a press release headline.
2
Write the body copy. The press release should be written as you want it to appear in a
news story. And remember this: most journalists are very busy, and don't have time to
research your company's big announcement, so much of what you write for your press
release will be what the journalists use in their write-up of your big event. Whatever you
want them to say, this is where you put it.
Start with the date and city in which the press release originates. The city may be
omitted if it will be confusing –– for example if the release is written in New York about
events in the company's Chicago division.
The lead, or first sentence, should grab the reader and say concisely what is
happening. For example, if the headline is "Careen Publishing releases new WWII
novel," the first sentence might be something like, "Carpren Publishing, Ltd., today
released their first World War II novel by celebrated writer Darcy Kay." It expands the
headline enough to fill in some of the details, and brings the reader further into the
story. The next one to two sentences should then expand upon the lead.
The press release body copy should be compact. Avoid using very long sentences
and paragraphs. Avoid repetition and overuse of fancy language and jargon. Strive for
simplicity, and no wasted words.
The first paragraph (two to three sentences) should sum up the press release, and
the additional content must elaborate it. In a fast-paced world, neither journalists, nor
other readers, would read the entire press release if the start of the article didn't
generate interest.
Deal with actual facts –– events, products, services, people, targets, goals, plans,
projects. Try to provide maximum use of concrete facts. This is news. A simple method
for writing an effective press release is to make a list of following clarifications: Who,
what, when, where, why, and how.
3
Communicate the "5 W's" (and the H) clearly. Who, what, when, where, why ––and
how–– should tell the reader everything they need to know. Consider the checklist in
context with the points below, using the example above to generate our press release:
 Who is this about? Carpren Publishing.
 What is the actual news? Carpren Publishing is releasing a book.
 When does this even happen? Tomorrow.
 Where does this even take place? In all major markets, tomorrow.
 Why this is news? It was written by renowned author, Arcy Kay.
How is this happening? The main event is at a book signing in Chicago, followed by
a book tour to all the major metropolitan areas.
With the basics defined, fill in the gaps with information about the people, products,
items, dates and other things related with the news.
If your company is not the main subject of the news, but is the source of the press
release, make it clear in the body.

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Keep it short and to the point. If you are sending a hard copy, the text should be
double-spaced.
Notes
The more newsworthy you make the press release copy, the better the chances of it
being selected by a journalist for reporting. Find out what "newsworthy" means to a
given market and use this knowledge to hook the editor or reporter.
4
Make it clean, crisp, and applicable to your audience. Odds are whoever you sent
your press release to has a dozen just like it in his/her inbox just waiting to be ignored. If
you want yours to be chosen, it's got to be good. Not only does it have to be good, but it
has to be as close to "ready for press" as possible.
When an editor looks at your piece, he/she is thinking, from the first second, about
how long it's going to take them to get it to print. If your work is full of errors, lacking
content, or just needs to be revised, they're not going to waste their time. So make sure
you have good grammar, all the basics, and have something to write about.
Why should these people care what you have to say? If you're sending it to the right
audience, it'll be obvious. If you're not, well, why are you wasting your time? Give the
right people a piece of news (news, not advertising) and you're on the right track.
They'll care more if you send it in the morning. That gives them time to pad your
piece into what they're already working on. Be considerate.
5
Tie it together. Provide some extra information links that support your press release.
Does the company you're selling have additional information online that readers may
find useful? Great. Add it in.
If you're nervous about what you've got, do some research on what's already out
there. Someone probably wrote something on an event just like the one you're covering.
PR Web and PR Newswire are good places to start.

Mastering the Format

1
Get the basic structure down. All right, now that you've got the meat of it together,
how do you put it onto paper? Well, for starters, cut it to length. It should be a page long
at most, if that. No one's going to waste time on 5 paragraphs unless you're covering
WWIII. Here's what you need (some of which we've already covered):
For Immediate Release should go at the top of the page, on the left margin.
If the release is embargoed, put "EMBARGOED UNTIL..." with the date you want
the story released. A release with no release date is presumed to be for immediate
release.
The headline, usually in bold, should be centered below that.
If you'd like, put a subhead in italics (briefly elaborating the headline).
First paragraph: Most important information. May be quite news-like in that, it
starts with a date or where the news is coming from.
Second (and probable third) paragraph: Secondary information should include
quotes and facts.
Boilerplate information: More on your company. Who are you, really? What
achievements do you have? What's your mission?
Contact information: More on the writer (probably you!). If you grab someone's
interest, they'll want to be able to find out more!

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Multimedia: In today's day and age, there's always some Twitter handle to be had.
2 Notes
Write a boilerplate underneath the body of your release. That means it's time to
include information about your company. When a journalist picks up your press release
for a story, he or she would logically have to mention the company in the news article.
Journalists can then get the company information from this section.
The title for this section should be "About [XYZ_COMPANY]."
After the title, use a paragraph or two to describe your company with 5 or 6 lines
each. The text must describe your company, its core business and the business policy.
Many businesses already have professionally written brochures, presentations,
business plans, etc. That introductory text can be put here.
At the end of this section, point to your website. The link should be the exact and
complete URL without any embedding so that, even if this page is printed, the link will
be printed as it is. For example: [Link] not Click here to visit the
website.
Companies which maintain a separate media page on their websites must point to
that URL here. A media page typically has contact information and press kits.
3
Add your contact information. If your press release is really newsworthy, journalists
would surely like more information or would like to interview key people associated with
it. If you are comfortable with the idea of letting your key people be contacted directly by
media, you can provide their contact details on the press release page itself. For
example, in the case of an innovation, you can provide the contact information of your
engineering or research team for the media.
If not, you must provide the details of your media/PR department in the "Contact"
section. If you do not have dedicated team for this function, you must appoint somebody
who will act as a link between the media and your people.
The contact details must be limited and specific only to the current press release.
The contact details must include:
 The company's official name
 Media department's official name and contact person
 Office address
 Telephone and fax numbers with proper country/city codes and extension numbers
 Mobile phone number (optional)
 Times of availability
 Email addresses
 Website address
4
If possible, include a link to an online copy of the same release. Its good practice to
keep a log of all of your press releases housed on your own website. This can make
providing such a link easier to produce, as well as keeping a record for historical
purposes.
5
Signal the end of the press release with three # (hash) symbols. Center these
directly underneath the last line of the release. This is a journalistic standard. It may
look like you're over-tweeting, but you're not. This is how it's done.

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Tips

Notes Research actual press releases on the web to get the feel of the tone, the language, the
structure and the format of a press release.
Avoid using jargon or specialized technical terms. If accuracy requires the use of an
industry-specific term, define it.
Craft each release to target a specific media outlet and send it to the specific
reporter who covers that beat. This information can usually be found on the outlet's
website. Blasting the identical press release to multiple outlets and multiple reporters at
the same outlet is a sign that you are taking shortcuts rather than targeting a specific
market.
The timing of the press release is very important. It must be relevant and recent
news, not too old and not too distant.
A follow-up call can help develop a press release into a full story.
Include the company name in the headline, any subhead, and in the body of the first
paragraph for better visibility via search engines and for news professionals and other
readers. If you're mailing a hard copy, you may put it on company letterhead.
Include a "call to action" in your release. This is information on what you want the
public to do with the information that you are releasing. For example, do you want
readers to buy a product? If so, include information on where the product is available.
Do you want readers to visit your website to enter a contest or learn more about your
organization? If so, include the website address or a phone number.
Do not waste time writing the headline until the release is done. Copy editors write
the real headlines in newspapers and magazines, but it is good to come up with a
catchy title or "headline" for the release. This headline may be your only chance. Keep it
concise and factual. It's a good idea not to write it until after you finish the press release.
You don't know yet exactly what you—–or those you interview, will say. When you have
finished a draft of the release, you may decide to revise your lead—or not. Then, and
only then, think about the headline.
Use your headline as the subject line of the email. If you've written a good "grabber"
headline, this will help your message stand out in the editor's email inbox.
Send your release by email, and use formatting sparingly. Giant type and multiple
colors don't enhance your news, they distract from it. Put the release in the body of the
email, not as an attachment. If you must use an attachment, make it a plain text or Rich
Text Format file. Word documents are acceptable at most outlets, but if you are using
the newest version (.docx), save down a version (.doc). Newspapers especially, are on
tight budgets now, and many have not upgraded. Use PDF files only if you are sending
a full media kit with lots of graphics. Don't type a release on letterhead, then scan it and
email a jpeg of the scan––that's a waste of your time and the editor's. Just type the
release straight into the email message.

Warnings
When emailing a press release, do not make the subject line of your email "press
release." You will only blend into the crowd. Get the editor's attention by making the
subject line your "grabber" headline, for example, "Brand Co. wins $30 billion
government contract."
Always include a quote—–ideally from the lead individual involved in the subject
matter of the release. The text need not be an actual quote but it should be plausible.
Either way, it is essential to check that the person being quoted is happy with it. A quote
allows a busy journalist to prepare a complete article without doing a follow-up
interview.

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Always remember that many editing teams are overworked and understaffed. If you
can make life easier for them, you're more likely to get coverage. If you write a press
release that's close to the way the editor will actually publish it, it may see publication Notes
with minimal editing. But if you fill it with fluffy advertising copy, don't use proper AP
style, etc., the editor will surely delete this kind of fluff. Everybody says they're the
leader. Don't waste the editor's time. The place to put a description is in the company
information section of the release. But keep it accurate and factual.
Articles should be as up-beat and positive as possible. Avoid phrases like "following
the resignation of the previous chairman" or "after a period of inactivity." A journalist
could decide to investigate those matters instead of reporting what is in the press
release and—–even if the circumstances were completely innocuous, for instance if the
chairman had resigned due to ill health—–the resulting copy might not be to your liking.
Do not include other people's contact details without getting their agreement. In
addition, they must be available at all reasonable hours in the days following the
release.

3.6 Basics of Editing

Editing is sometimes confused with Revising, or with Proofreading. After you feel you've
revised the draft as much as is needed, editing comes into play. Editing involves a
number of small changes in a draft that can make a big difference in the draft's
readability and coherence. Editing can happen at several points in the drafting process--
not just at the end to "fix" things that are wrong. When it comes to writing, it isn't so
much about making mistakes that you have to correct. No, there is always an
assortment of options, many of which are right. Experienced writers learn which choices
fit together well for them, and luckily for you, the secret to becoming an experienced
writer is to practice. You can do that.
So, what kinds of things happen when editing? Here are a few.
 word changes
 minor sentence rearrangement
 added transitions
 changes for clarity
 minor deletions

What should I edit for?

Three main areas that should be addressed in editing are: Content, Structure, and
Mechanics.
When editing the content of your writing, it is important to make sure your work has
a clear focus or main idea. By asking yourself a few questions, you can avoid
incomplete thoughts and/or irrelevant material. The following is a checklist you can use
in editing your content:
 I have discovered what is important about my topic.
 I have expressed the main idea clearly.
 I have removed material that is unnecessary, confusing, or irrelevant.
Editing for structure ensures that your ideas are presented in a logical order. A
single idea should be represented in each paragraph. Transitions serve to make the
relationships between ideas clear. The following checklist is helpful in editing structure:
 My ideas are logically connected to one another.
 Each paragraph deals with only one major idea.
 I have included appropriate transitional words or phrases.

Amity Directorate of Distance & Online Education