REALLY on your mind.

You skipped through the fluff talk and got straight to

the point with me. It was alarming at first, but damn! (she giggles) It was
actually a huge turn-on.”
Me (smiling): “Good to hear.”
Her: “What you did was … you said what most women WANT TO HEAR out of
man’s mouth, but rarely EXPECT TO HEAR. You said the truth of what you
were really thinking and what you really wanted to do with me, which was to
fuck me. Again, most men simply do not have the confidence or courage to talk
that way to women.”
Once this young lady expressed that last comment, my mind became totally
distracted . It was unbelievable. I went from thinking about having sex with this
woman to thinking about that comment of hers, “What women WANT TO
HEAR, but usually DO NOT EXPECT TO HEAR.”
LIGHT BULB ON TOP OF THE HEAD TIME
That comment she made about me telling her “what she wanted to hear , but
would not normally expect to hear ” intrigued me. After about 20 minutes of
kissing and making out in the car, my mind once again became totally distracted.
Much to her disappointment, I told her that my mind was too consumed with
distracted thoughts and that I did not want to continue making out with her. She
was agitated by my decision. She said, “You did all of that straightforward
talking to me … and now, you don’t want to fuck me?!?” I replied, “Maybe
tomorrow or the next day, but not right now. I need to get home and put some
stuff down on paper.” She was responded, “Yeah … whatever.” She then wrote
down her phone number and told me to feel free to come by her place the next
day (Friday) or Saturday.
When I arrived at my parents’ home that evening, I was like a man on a mission.
I was so excited that I had once again overcame my temptation to give in to my
social programming & cultural conditioning, and that I had also conquered my
fear of risking and possibly losing my “Mr. Perfect Well-Mannered Gentleman”
image and reputation, that I did not know how to contain my excitement.
Beginning with that night, and on through the weekend, I began readingmagazine
articles on male-female relationships, books on what men and women
found appealing and arousing in each other, and listening to men and women on
television talk shows talk about good and bad first date experiences. I began to
think about all of my own experiences with women, as well as some of the
experiences of most of the males who I was close friends with.
After days of thought, I finally concluded that all of men’s verbal
communication with women (at least, with the women who they want to be
involved in a long-term romantic relationship with or a short-term ‘casual sex’
relationship with) generally falls into one of four categories:
Verbally communicating to women what women generally WANT TO
HEAR , but for the most part, DO NOT EXPECT TO HEAR (primarily,
because women assume that most men do not have the courage to express
themselves in a bold, upfront, specific, and straightforwardly honest
manner); I categorized this behavior as “Mode One Behavior .”
Verbally communicating to women what women generally WANT TO
HEAR , and what they generally EXPECT TO HEAR (primarily, because
men to give in to their desire to be cautious about what they say to women,
and generally want to be perceived as ‘polite’ and ‘well-mannered’); I
categorized this behavior as “Mode Two Behavior .”
Verbally communicating to women what women generally DO NOT
WANT TO HEAR , but what they typically EXPECT TO HEAR
(primarily, because everything a man is discussing with a woman in this
instance is very dishonest, disingenuous, misleading and manipulative, or
timid and cliché); I categorized this behavior as “Mode Three Behavior .”
Verbally communicating what women generally DO NOT WANT TO
HEAR , and also what they DO NOT EXPECT TO HEAR (primarily,
because the man that they are listening to is being blatantly insulting, crass
and crude, antagonistic and misogynistic, and blatantly ignoring the fact
that this woman has already expressed to the man that she has absolutely no
interest in sharing his company in any sort of romantic and/or sexual
manner); I categorized this behavior as “Mode Four Behavior .”
And thus, THE FOUR MODES OF VERBAL COMMUNICATION™ were
Because it’s fun, and because I can. If I am successful, I will exploit them for
everything they have to offer until I get bored. If I cannot manipulate a man, and
I am very attracted to him, then I will pursue him relentlessly until he agrees to
become my next lover.” A woman offering a confession of her highly
manipulative tendencies with men in the popular magazine for African-American
women, ESSENCE
Generally speaking, there are only three types of relationships that men and
women will ever engage in with other over the course of their lives. Those
relationships are:
1. A series of strictly non-sexual interactions
2. A series of strictly sexual interactions
3. A series of interactions that involve spending time with a member of
the opposite sex in both a sexual and non-sexual manner
We generally refer to the relationships that fall under category #1 as a “purely
platonic friendship” or “platonic business relationship.” We generally refer to
the relationships that fall under category #2 as a “casual sex relationship” or a
“fuck buddy relationship.” A man or woman who is married and cheating on
their spouse would also fall into category #2. We generally refer to the
relationships that fall under category #3 as “marriage,” “a long-term romantic
relationship,” or a “friends-with-benefits relationship.”
If every man and woman on Planet Earth were to express their desire to engage
in one of those three types of relationships with a member of the opposite sex in