Why Some People Call Themselves
“Incels”
Brandon Sparks · Alexandra M. Zidenberg · Mark E. Olver
Some young men today call themselves incels. The word incel means involuntary celibate. It
describes a person who wants to have a romantic or sexual relationship but cannot find one,
even if they try. They feel rejected by others and think that love and dating are only possible
for people who are very attractive or popular.
How the term started
The word was first used by a Canadian woman named Alana in the 1990s. She created a
small website to talk about loneliness and rejection in dating. At that time, it was a friendly
space where men and women could share their experiences. Years later, the meaning changed
when online groups of young men began to use the word in a negative and angry way.
Feelings and beliefs
Many incels feel sad, angry, confused, and lonely. They believe that society is unfair, and that
only “perfect people” – called Chads (handsome men) and Stacys (beautiful women) – can
find love easily. They also use the word normies for people who are average and live normal
social lives. Incels often see themselves at the bottom of this social ladder, which makes them
feel invisible and hopeless.
Because of these feelings, some incels think that women only want rich or good-looking men.
This idea is called hypergamy. It means that women, in their opinion, always “date up” –
choosing men who have more money, beauty, or power. However, this is a stereotype, and
many researchers say it is not true for most people.
Life online
Incels spend a lot of time on internet forums and social media. They write about their
experiences, their emotions, and their opinions about love. Some of these online spaces can
become toxic because people repeat negative ideas about women and relationships. Others,
however, use these spaces to support one another, share stories, or simply feel less alone.
Mental health and loneliness
Studies show that most incels are not violent, but they often struggle with mental health
problems such as depression, anxiety, and low self-esteem. They feel rejected, isolated, and
sometimes think they will never have a partner. Many have very few friends or social
connections. They may believe they are not good enough or that they can never change,
which increases their sadness.
Some incels talk about trying to improve themselves — for example, by exercising or
changing their style. In online language, this is called “looksmaxxing”. But others lose hope
and think that nothing will ever work, which leads them to feel desperate or hopeless. A small
number of incels have done violent things and hurt other people, but this is very rare. Most
incels do not support violence. Unfortunately, the angry words that appear online can make
the whole community look dangerous. It is important to remember that feeling lonely or
rejected does not mean being violent.
The article explains that many incels need help, not hate. They need to talk about emotions,
friendship, respect, and communication. Therapists and teachers can help them learn how to
build healthy relationships and how to manage rejection without anger. By listening and
showing empathy, society can help them feel part of the community again.
Glossary
Term Definition
Incel (Involuntary Celibate)
Misogyny
Red Pill / Blue Pill / Black Pill
Chads / Stacys / Normies
Looksmaxxing / Gymmaxxing
Hypergamy
Hope / Cope / Rope
Echo chamber
Attachment
Self-blame / Externalization of blame
Loneliness
Sexual entitlement
Radicalization
Classroom Tasks
1. Comprehension questions
○ What does “incel” mean?
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○ Who created the first “incel” website?
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○ Why do some incels feel angry or sad?
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○ What is hypergamy?
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○ How can society help people who feel lonely?
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1. Vocabulary review-SUMMARY OF FINDINGS
● Severe mental health issues:
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● Extreme loneliness:
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● Rejection sensitivity:
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● Problematic coping:
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● Negative view of women:
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● Dual role of forums:
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● Violence is rare:
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2. Follow-up writing
○ Write 5–7 sentences describing how people can show kindness or
understanding to someone who feels lonely.
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