COncordia University

Final Reflection Paper

By

Waqas Ahmad

Student ID: 40295445

AHSC 230 – Wednesday

Interpersonal Communication Skills

1 Dec 2024
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"BRIDGING CULTURES AND BUILDING CONNECTIONS: THE ART

1. Over the span of this course, I have developed a deeper understanding of the skills

necessary to communicate effectively in personal and professional contexts. Raised in a

conservative Eastern culture where respect for elders, religious influences, and the value of

harmony shaped interpersonal interactions, I have come to realize the impact of my upbringing

on my communication style. I regret not getting a hand on this book in my early years of

adulthood. This course has encouraged me towards self-reflection and has helped me identify

weaknesses, strengths, and areas for growth. This paper focuses on four key concepts I have

learned—active listening, communication and technology, self-disclosure, and emotional

expression—and their impact on my relationships.

2. Active Listening. Active listening emerged as one of the most transformative of

skills I have developed during this course. It involves giving full attention to the speaker,

accurately interpreting their message, and responding appropriately. Being a male member of the

society it is ingrained in our masculine dominated nature that does not allow us to be a good

listener. According to Devito et al. (2016), active listening comprises attending, understanding,

responding, and remembering. In my personal life, active listening has allowed me to bridge

misunderstandings and build stronger connections. For instance, during a disagreement with a

cousin about domestic politics in our country, I initially felt defensive and dismissed his

concerns. However, as the conversation progressed, I began paraphrasing his statements, seeking
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clarification through open-ended questions, and using verbal affirmations like “I understand what

you mean.” This shift not only calmed the discussion but also allowed me to empathize with his

perspective – and like in a tit-for-tat situation that immediately put him in a more understanding

role as well.

3. Growing up, emotional restraint was implanted in my upbringing, making active listening

a challenging skill to master. In my culture, engaging deeply in conversations was often seen as

unnecessary if it risked creating tension. This mindset limited opportunities to connect with

others emotionally, if not socially. Through active listening, I have begun to challenge these

norms, fostering meaningful relationships and avoiding unnecessary conflicts. It has taught me

that listening is not just hearing words but understanding emotions and intentions – a powerful

trait to acquire.

4. Communication and Technology. The role of technology in modern communication

cannot simply be ignored. It has revolutionized how we interact, enabling instant connections

across distances. However, wise use of technology is critical in maintaining meaningful

communication. Koyuncu and Lajunen (2017) emphasize the importance of choosing the

appropriate medium for the message and being mindful of tone, language, and cultural

differences.

5. In a professional setting, I experienced the value of this concept myself. A recent

discussion with my team highlighted the inefficiency of email for collaborative tasks. Something

like Koyuncu and Lajunen’s recommendations, I proposed quarterly video conferences to

enhance dialogue with our overseas colleagues and clients. These meetings allowed for real-time

feedback, improving productivity and rapport. However, my conservative upbringing sometimes

makes digital communication feel impersonal. In my culture, face-to-face interactions carry

significant weight, as they demonstrate respect and commitment. Balancing this traditional value

with modern technological practices has been a learning experience. For instance, I consciously

avoid relying solely on text messages for sensitive discussions, opting for video calls to convey

sincerity through tone and facial expressions.

6. The course also highlighted the ethical considerations of digital communication, such as

respecting privacy and avoiding misinterpretations. For example, I realize since the reading of

non-verbal communication in Chapter 6 of our course book, I began to rely more on emoticons

in an effort to convey meanings more effectively. These insights along with others have

enhanced my ability to go through the complexities of digital interaction, ensuring that

technology complements rather than replaces meaningful communication.

7. Self-Disclosure. Self-disclosure is the deliberate sharing of personal information,

fostering intimacy and trust in relationships. As Devito et al. (2016) explain, self-disclosure

allows individuals to deepen connections, receive social support, and enhance self-awareness.

Despite its benefits, this concept posed a significant challenge for me, shaped by cultural norms

emphasizing emotional restraint.

8. In my family, sharing personal thoughts or feelings was rare, as maintaining harmony

often took precedence over individual expression. For example, when facing academic pressures

or emotional struggles, I internalized my feelings rather than seeking support. This habit carried

into adulthood, leading to misunderstandings in relationships. Partners often perceived my

silence as indifference, though it stemmed from a reluctance to burden others. Reflecting on the

Johari Window model during the course revealed the size of my “hidden self”—aspects of me

that others did not know. This realization challenged as well as encouraged me to take small

steps toward vulnerability. Sharing my academic challenges with my better half recently was a
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turning point. Her empathetic response reinforced the value of self-disclosure, fostering a

stronger bond akin to working towards a shared goal.

9. While self-disclosure involves risks like rejection or betrayal, I have learned that its

benefits outweigh these fears. As Tamir and Mitchell (2012) highlight, sharing personal

information is intrinsically rewarding, enhancing self-awareness and emotional well-being. By

embracing this practice, I am gradually dismantling the barriers built by cultural conditioning

and enriching my relationships.

10. Emotional Expression. Emotional expression—the ability to convey feelings effectively

—is another vital component of wise communication. Devito et al. (2016) emphasize that

emotions are adaptive, helping individuals respond to various situations. However, cultural

norms significantly influence how emotions are expressed.

11. In my conservative Eastern upbringing, emotional restraint was viewed as a virtue.

Respect for elders and the desire to maintain harmony often meant suppressing feelings. For

instance, during family gatherings, any expression of frustration or disappointment was

discouraged, as it might disrupt the atmosphere. This mindset shaped my behavior, leading me to

avoid emotional vulnerability.

12. Through this course, I recognized the limitations of this approach. Suppressing emotions

can lead to misunderstandings, as others may misinterpret silence as apathy. A recent interaction

with my sibling highlighted this. After a disagreement, I chose to express my frustration calmly

rather than withdrawing. This openness not only resolved the conflict but also strengthened our

bond. Learning about the role of emotional intelligence in communication has been eye-opening.

It involves recognizing, understanding, and managing emotions in oneself and others. Practicing
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this skill has allowed me to deal with conflicts more effectively, fostering empathy and mutual

respect. In a broader cultural context, balancing traditional values with the need for emotional

expression remains an ongoing journey. By embracing this concept, I am learning to honor my

cultural heritage while adapting to contemporary communication norms.

13. Overall, the journey through this course has been transformative, equipping me with the

tools to communicate more effectively and authentically. Active listening, the mindful use of

technology, self-disclosure, and emotional expression have been particularly impactful in

shaping my interpersonal skills. These concepts have not only enhanced my relationships but

also allowed me to reconcile my cultural upbringing with modern communication practices. By

continuing to apply these principles, I hope to build deeper connections, foster understanding,

and navigate the complexities of interpersonal interactions with greater confidence and wisdom.

References

DeVito, J. A., Shimoni, R., & Clark, D. (2016). Messages - Building Interpersonal

Communication Skills (Fifth Canadian ed.). Toronto, ON: Pearson Canada Inc.

Koyuncu, M., & Lajunen, T. (2017). Investigating the factors influencing the wise use of

communication technology. Computers in Human Behavior, 73, 527-534.

Tamir, D., & Mitchell, J. (2012). Disclosing information about the self is intrinsically rewarding.

Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences, 109(21), 8038-8043.