Childhood wounds

&
Self-esteem

Free booklet
@[Link]
Hello! I am Jafet Lillo, a clinical psychologist.
Thank you very much for your constant support, it's my way of
to return the love you give me <3

This booklet will provide you with a space for

self-knowledge <3, of course.. it doesn't replace a
psychotherapy, but for the little people who cannot
accessing therapy can help with a pimple of
arena.
First, let's understand the types of attachment:

SECURE ATTACHMENT
People with secure attachment have
a positive image of themselves and of
the others, and they have the ability to
establish interpersonal relationships
healthy and satisfying. They seek support
emotional and are capable of providing
emotional support to others.

ANXIOUS ATTACHMENT
people with anxious attachment have an
negative self-image but one
positive image of others. They tend to
constantly seeking validation and the
emotional support from others, and they can be
perceived how needed o
dependents. They often fear
rejection and the loss of the relationship.

AVOIDANT ATTACHMENT
People with avoidant attachment have a
positive self-image but an image
negative from others. They may seem
emotionally distant and rejecting support
emotional of others. They can have
difficulties in establishing intimate relationships
and committed due to their fear of being
vulnerable and dependent on others.
 DISORGANIZED ATTACHMENT
Disorganized or disoriented attachment, which
characterized by behavioral patterns
contradictory and confusing in relationships
interpersonal. This type of attachment is associated
commonly with traumatic experiences in the
childhood, such as abuse or neglect by
the primary caregivers.

Regardless of whether you have a certain tendency,

you can have a different attachment style with
different people. Although it has not formed
a secure attachment with their attachment figures, yes it
you can develop with your best friends or with
your adult partner. That is why a
a person can have a secure attachment in their
relationship but not with his family, friends or
work colleagues.
 REFLECTIVE PAUSE
If you take a moment to think a little
What was your inner child like?

Depending on the type of experiences and how they

we internalize, the inner child can be:

Or on the contrary, someone

a cheerful "little person"
fearful of life,
optimistic and sensitive.
angry and irritable.

At the bottom of every adult lies an eternal child,

in continuous training, never finished, which
requires care, attention, and education
constants. This is the part of the personality
a human that aspires to develop and to achieve
fullness.
C.G. Jung
 IMPORTANT!
In our childhood, we formed an idea of
ourselves and of life from the
reactions of the adults around us. By
for this reason, many people have an idea of
themselves that do not belong to them, of the same
ways that do not belong to us many of the
rules that tell us how we should live. If
you have lived with people who felt
unfortunate, furious, scared or guilty,
so then..

What will your beliefs about yourself be?

And what about the world or others?

If we choose to believe that we are responsible for

our experiences, both the good and
from the supposedly bad ones, then we will have
the opportunity to overcome and leave behind the
effects of the past
 GOODBYE LABELS
Note everything you don't like about yourself, the 'labels'
negatives with which you usually define yourself, or that have
positioned from abroad and with which you agree.
Now let's reflect...
Does this really define me?
Who told me this?
When have I done the opposite? (for example, if one of the
thoughts say "I am lazy" think about when you have been
active)

After the reflection, write those

labels on a separate paper, for
afterwards break and throw away.
 So...
How would you like to define yourself instead of the one that
Does it currently appear on your list?
 That is true....

A family pattern is a model of thought,

of emotion, of behavior that is generated at a level
ancestral and it is repeated from generation to generation
generation, generally in an unconscious manner.

A belief or an idea that the family lives by, that is

convince that it is true and that the replica
intensely for generations. An emotion
intense that occurs from some trauma or from
any extreme situation that leads us to develop
a complex emotional system. A behavior that
it keeps repeating.

Do I identify any?
 WOUNDS
Wound of rejection.
He/she deeply believes that nothing is worth anything or what is worth.

not much.
He feels constantly dissatisfied with what he is.
It is considered a nullity and is judged as someone of
low worth. He/She has very low self-esteem. He/She is
convinced that if he did not exist, he would not suppose
a big difference.
He/she feels different from the rest of his/her family. He/she feels
isolated from others and misunderstood by them.
Easily isolates itself from the outside world
refuge in their own imaginary world or
being "in the moon"
When he is alone, his emotions overwhelm him, about
all their fears.
He/She has a very fertile imagination although,
misfortune, she uses it to create, with great ease,
rejection scenarios.
I believe, consciously or unconsciously, that the
happiness lasts a short time.
Wound of Abandonment

He/She has difficulty managing by himself/herself.

and loneliness terrifies him. He seeks presence and the
Attention. It needs, above all, to be supported by
its environment.
Unconsciously provokes dramas or
diseases to get attention.
Easily empathize with others. You ...
identify with their emotions and their suffering.
When in a group, he loves to talk about himself.
same. He/she always takes everything to his/her own territory

He/She has difficulty doing or deciding something.

solo. Ask for advice or the opinion of others.
people
When they do a favor or take care of someone, they are
with the hope that they take care of him to
change.
He/She has difficulty ending his/her relationships.
He juggles to avoid being alone.
She believes that a test of love is that the other is there.
always with him.
Wounded by humiliation
He has a beautiful missionary soul, but often
the manifest out of fear. She believes that God (or the guardian of
the morality of the family - super ego - social consciousness) him
observe and judge him without rest.
He does everything to be worthy of God (parents - super ego -
etc.) or those whom he loves.
Believes in the duty to serve all those he loves,
those who put themselves first.
He doesn't want to acknowledge either his sensuality or his love for the
pleasures associated with the senses.
Reject the impulses linked to the senses: it has
fear of crossing the line and feeling ashamed.
He has the gift of making people laugh by mocking himself.
same, humbling himself.
They are attracted to or only small things are allowed, because why not?
see the greatness of his soul.
He manages to not be free since, for him, "being
"free" means "having no limits and feeling too much"
pleasure.
This way, it limits his freedom by placing the
others' needs to their own, for what they lack
time to enjoy life.
He knows their needs, but he never listens to them; he believes that
one must sacrifice to earn heaven.
Wound of betrayal
He does everything to convince others that he has
a strong personality.
He uses his qualities as a boss to impose his will.
He is not in touch with his own vulnerability and
seeks to appear strong.
He wants others to know what he is capable of. He does
efforts to be considered a person
responsible.
Seek to be special and important. Seek honors and the
titles, and captures a lot of attention within a
group.
Forget being cautious and, if it disappoints him, he becomes
suspicious.
His reputation is very important, and if he feels that he is
threatened, will not hesitate to stain another one's
person.
Lie effortlessly to get out of a situation
committed, but cannot stand being lied to.
He expects a lot from others and is demanding.
When delegating, he/she demands that everything be done his/her way and
his pace to show himself as superior and important.
Continuously check for lack of trust. It
I like to have everything planned out to control better.
He cannot stand for someone to come and undo his plans.
it is difficult to accept the unforeseen.
Wound of Injustice
He wants to appear lively and dynamic, even though he is exhausted.
He rarely admits that he has problems or that something bothers him.
If he admits a problem, he will immediately add that it is not
for that, he manages well on his own, or he'll tell how
he solved the problem by himself.
He is a great optimist who always wants to appear positive.
It is controlled to appear perfect and to correspond to the
ideal that has been set or that one believes others have of
he.
Do what is necessary to control your anger – that which you have
conscious – out of fear of losing control
He may seem controlling with others but he is just being
defending why his own has been questioned
perfection
Although he wants everything to be perfect and fair, in
sometimes he is the first to exaggerate a fact or a
accusation.
The rigid one does not want to feel. Occasionally, it shows its
feelings because he/she does not know how to manage his/her great sensitivity.

It is controlled to seem perfect and to correspond to

ideal that has been set or that one believes others have of
he.
Do what is necessary to control your anger – the one of which you are
conscious - out of fear of losing control.
 EXERCISE
Find a picture of when you were a child (it ’s okay if you don ’t have it)
you find) and, looking at her and thinking about your childhood, respond to the
next questions:

What do you see in that child? What emotions do you see in him/her?
2. What gestures, words, actions, or attitudes marked you?
negatively about their environment?, how did they feel?, and how do you
Do you feel it now when you think about it?

3. How can you now address your child's needs?

interior from your adult self? What can you give and tell yourself?
same?
Letter to your inner child: At first, it may seem like an exercise
very easy to carry out, but it is an activity filled with emotion (with
all the sincerity in the world) and tell him everything you feel and with everyone
the possible details (you can include anecdotes, names of people
who were there with you supporting you, the absences, dates, days
special... everything that comes to you). Give that girl your affection and
understanding
 SELF-ESTEEM

Self-esteem is the value that the individual attributes

to his person and to his abilities. It is a way
to think positively, a motivation to
to experience different perspectives of life,
to face challenges, to feel and act, which implies
that individuals accept, respect, trust, and
they believe in themselves.

SELF-CONCEPT

The self-concept is related to the degree to which

the beliefs about oneself are defined by
clearly and reliably, they are internally consistent and
they tend towards stability. An expert in this topic is
Pilar Saura; for her, the self-concept is built upon
interacting with others. The self-concept includes:
Ideas, images, and beliefs that we have about ourselves.
How do I look?
What do I think about myself? How do I believe I am?
Images that others have of us. How do they see me?
the others? What do the others think of me? How do they believe
What am I?
Images of how the person thinks it should be. How
me
Would you like to be?

Images that the person would like to have of themselves.

How would I like to see myself?
 FAREWELL LETTER TO EVERYTHING THAT IS NOT
I WANT IN MY LIFE...

As we saw earlier, 'the labels they pointed out to me' and not me.
they belong... it is time to take the first step.. to say goodbye to them
<3!
Because no, you are not angry, silly, or everything they made you believe...
 LET'S ANALYZE WITH NATURE JIJI

What do I have to do? (template on the following page)

Draw a tree on a sheet of paper that is oriented
vertically, or fill in the drawing that is after
from this explanation.
3. Write your qualities on the trunk of the tree.
(positive characteristics of your personality) and
skills (tasks or activities that you are good at)
to do). It is your identity, the engine that makes you succeed
certain goals and set new ones for yourself.
2. Write the name of the roots of the tree,
people you consider most important. They are your
support and foundation.
4. Write, on the fruits of the tree, the achievements and successes that
you have achieved throughout your life. To help you
Can you reflect on your areas (family, work...)
Every effort bears its fruit.
5. Write your goals on the branches of the tree.
short-term goals (grades, your physical health, mental health, etc.)
medium and long term. For this, you can also
to help you by reflecting on the main areas. That
goals, like branches, never stop growing and
to make you great.
DRAW THE TREE HOWEVER YOU WANT
EXERCISES TO MANAGE THE LOW
MOOD

Be aware of my thoughts
negatives, what they are and to register them.
Identify the types of thoughts
negatives (DISTORTIONS IN THE
NOTEBOOK 1).
To put thoughts to the 'test'
negatives.

Once those steps are completed, we can already

discuss them and put them to 'test'. To do this,
we will think about what we can do to
check them and to create new data that
they contradict negative thoughts
automatics and reaffirm beliefs
rational.

YOU CAN WORK ON NOTEBOOK 1

 List of your achievements or successes (does not have to be something 'big',
Is there something you feel proud of having achieved?
the completed:
Family:.....................................................................................................
..................
....................................................................................................................
................
....................................................................................................................
................
Couple/friends: .........................................................................................
...............................
....................................................................................................................
................
....................................................................................................................
................
Friends:......................................................................................................
................
....................................................................................................................
................
....................................................................................................................
................
Leisure:...........................................................................................................
.................
....................................................................................................................
................
....................................................................................................................
THANK YOU FOR GETTING THIS FAR <3!
HERE COMES MORE HEHE

I SEND YOU A HUG