1.
Acknowledge the Situation
Start by showing that you understand why others might see you as distant or quiet.
“I understand that some may have noticed I’m quiet or seem distant at times, especially when
I’m with the senior seminarians or even among my propaedeutic brothers.”
2. Express Your Personal Experience
Explain what you're going through—not to excuse, but to help others see your perspective.
“The truth is, I’ve been feeling shy and unsure of myself in this new environment. Everything is
new—people, routines, expectations—and sometimes that makes me feel like I don’t belong or
that others might not want me around.”
3. Clarify Your Intentions
Make it clear that you're not avoiding others out of disrespect or lack of interest.
“It’s not that I don’t want to be part of the community. In fact, I really want to belong. But
sometimes, my own doubts and fears get in the way of connecting with others.”
4. Show Growth and Openness
Let them know that you're trying and open to change—with their help.
“I’m trying to grow in this area, and I truly appreciate it when my brothers, especially the
seniors, take the time to talk to me. It helps me feel more welcome and builds my confidence
little by little.”
5. Ask for Understanding and Patience
Invite others to walk with you in the journey.
“All I ask is a little understanding and patience as I adjust and find my place here. I believe with
time and with your support, I’ll grow into the community more fully.”
Final Thoughts:
This approach shows maturity and humility. You're not blaming anyone, you're not making
excuses—you’re just being honest. That builds trust and opens the door for stronger relationships
in your community.
🗣 Prepared Statement You Can Use or Adapt:
“I want to share something from my heart, and I hope it will help you understand me better.
Since coming to the seminary, I’ve had moments where I feel like I don’t really belong. I
sometimes feel uncomfortable, especially when senior seminarians ask me how I’m doing or
how I’m adjusting. I know they’re trying to be kind and welcoming, but sometimes I get nervous
or unsure how to respond.”
“Even with my propaedeutic brothers, I sometimes feel like isolating myself. It’s not because I
don’t want to be with them—I actually do—but sometimes I overthink things and worry that
maybe they don’t really want me around. It’s more about my own insecurities than about them.”
“I’m sharing this not to make excuses, but to let you know that I’m still adjusting. I'm trying my
best to open up, and I’m grateful to those who reach out to me. It helps more than you realize. I
hope that in time, with your patience and continued support, I’ll grow more confident and feel
more at home in this community.”
🔑 Key Points You’re Communicating:
You’re aware of how you appear to others.
You’re not being distant out of disrespect—you're just shy and still adjusting.
You want to belong and are trying to grow.
You’re thankful for those who make the effort to connect with you.