Sit-down Questions
Sit-down Questions
Character / personality / mental-health / life-style questions
What does patience look like in your eyes?
Would you consider yourself someone who is openminded ?
Are you protective and how do you show you are protective?
Would you consider yourself someone who had self control over nafs/desires ?
Are you disciplined?
Are you helpful in general and around the home?
Do you consider yourself to be thoughtful ?
Are you gentle ?
What does empathy look like to you
How would you show your wife empathy during a hard difficult time
Can you take criticism if so how would you prefer that being done by your wife ?
How do you react when someone insults you?
How do you react when you're at your lowest ?
- what do you do to bring you back up from your lowest moments ?
Tell me a time where you behaved in a way you didnt like and how you rectified it?
Tell me about a time where you were really proud of yourself and how did you reward/treat yourself?
How are you with mental illness?
a. Do you suffer from anxiety/depression/bi-polar disorder/psychosis/ schizophrenia etc
b. Have you ever dealt with someone with mental illness if so how did you deal with them ?
c. How do you feel about therapy ( individual therapy by a licensed therapist or a marriage
therapist ?
If you could name 5 of your strengths what would they be ?
If you could name 5 of your weaknesses what would they be?
What makes you angry or upset?
How do you like to be treated when you're angry?
a. Do you need space ? silence? To go on a walk, pray etx
Are you someone who raises your voice often?
What are your pet-peeves?
What makes you happy , hobbies simple things etc
How do you like to receive love?
a. What are your love languages?
Do you find communicating in times of difficulty challenging or easy?
How do you utilize your free time outside of work?
What are some of your daily hobbies?
Are you introverted, extroverted or a combination of both?
What does controlling or possessive look like
To you , would you consider yourself any of those ?
Do you have any trust issues?
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people you dont personally agree with
How would your friends describe you, what characteristics would they use to describe you
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How do you handle disagreements?
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disagreements
Are you comfortable if needed seeking marital counseling by a marriage therapist who may perhaps be
muslim
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Are you comfortable with premarital counseling before marriage.
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Would you consider yourself someone who is confident?
Do you suffer from any insecurities if your comfortable explaining a few feel free?
Do you consider yourself someone who gets along well with others?
Do you have a-lot of friends?
How do you interact with your friends and how often do you see them / how often are you spending
time with them on the phone throughout the week or spend time gaming.
What are your thoughts on the age of consent? AND How young of a woman/girl would you consider
marrying if the age of consent was different ( 11 - 16 years old )
What are your thoughts on manipulating people to do good
What are your thoughts on manipulating your wife to do what pleases you
Are you comfortable making large life changing decisions with out consulting your wife or talking to her
about how she feels about xyz.
What do you consider physical abuse
What do you consider emotional/psychological abuse
What do you consider spiritual abuse
Would you consider yourself someone who has good hygiene
a. Oral health
b. Do they istinjaa
c. Basic Body cleanliness etc
Do you have any issues getting a STD/HIV/HPV/HERPES test? A FULL PANEL Sexual wellness check
( this requires urine and blood work done at a clinic )
This is REQUIRED becore proceeding with nikkah.
Are you celibate?
How is your relationship with non-mahram women?
What are some things you struggle with that may affect me directly?
Do you love yourself?
Do you find it hard to express yourself?
Finances / housing
Are all of your sources of income halaal ?
Do you own your own home / apartment
Are you willing to relocate or do I have to move to your location?
a. If I would have to relocate, when would you expect me to move?
Are you financially prepared to take care of your wife?
a. Provide for your wife etc.
Do you expect your wife to pay any household bills?
What is your range for a Mahr/dowry?
If long distance is an option are you financially prepared to take over some/all of my major bills?
a. Car note, phone bill, rent, utilities etc
Do you pay for health insurance?
What is your main source of income?
a. Do you have other sources of income?
b. What is your income per month and per year. Before taxes.
What are some of your short-term and long-term financial goals
Do you save money
a. Do you find it easy to save money?
How much of my money do you intend on utilizing?
If we get married how much do i have to spend on myself?
How much money do you spend on yourself?
What's the most expensive thing you own?
Are you a miser?
Do you consider yourself frugal?
Do you consider yourself a big spender?
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How do you think that your use of money will change after marriage?
Do you have any debts now? If so, how are you making progress to eliminate them?
Do you use credit cards?
Do you support the idea of taking loans to buy a new home?
Do you support the idea of a working wife?
If so, how do you think a dual-income family should manage funds?
Family life / children / chasity
A deal breaker for me is if you were intimate with anyone outside of marriage within the last 12 months
if this is applicable to you. I am no longer interested in marriage. You do not need to disclose your past
sins to me personally, this is a dealbreaker and you may excuse yourself if this is applicable to you.
Moving on
Are you Married or were you married before?
- If so What was the cause for divorce and what do you feel like you learned from your last
marriage.
- What are areas you havr improved on since your divorce
Do you want to practice polygyny anytime soon or further down the line?
If so explain how you plan to go about seeking another wife, considering your wifes feelings, and
making sure her emotional state is taken care of
What are your thoughts on nikkah contracts and are you willing to sign one?
What are conditions you are not willing to sign in a nikkah contract.
If your wife struggled with fertility how would you go about supporting her and handling that situation?
What is your ideal method of raising children?
a. Islamic
b. Academics
c. Sports
d. College etc
When would you want to start having (or more ) children?
a. Are you in a rush ?
b. How many children do you want
What is your opinion of homeschooling / islamic school for children
Do you agree with spanking or hitting your child?
a. Physical discipline?
Do you have an issue with your children being vaccinated?
What is your relationship with your family?
Who can i talk to in your community to get confirmation on the information you have shared with me,
Men from your local masjid and women in your family mothers/aunts/sisters.
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