Life Orientation

Grade 11
Chapter 1 Summary
Development of the self in society

Name: __________________________________

LO Teacher: ____________________________

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Sourced from: Botha, L et al. (2012). Life Orientation for the Real World Grade 11. Florida: Vivlia Publishers and Booksellers (PTY) Ltd.
 Chapter 1: Development of the self in society
In this chapter you will learn about:
• Planning and achieving life goals: Applying various life skills as evidence
of an ability
• Relationships and their influence on own well-being: Different types with
different people/groups and their changing nature

In grade 10 you learnt the following:

• Understand self-awareness, self-esteem and self-development, and examine strategies to enhance
these aspects of your life.
• Strategies to build confidence in yourself and others; successful completion of tasks or projects;
participating in life or your community and making good decisions.
• Acknowledge and respect the uniqueness of yourself and others and respect differences.
• Understand concepts such as power, power relations, masculinity, femininity and gender.
• Be able to respect the differences between a man and a woman, and be aware of the stereotypical
views of gender roles and responsibilities.
• Understand the influence of gender inequality on relationships and general well-being.

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Sourced from: Botha, L et al. (2012). Life Orientation for the Real World Grade 11. Florida: Vivlia Publishers and Booksellers (PTY) Ltd.
Unit 1: Planning and achieving life goals: Applying various life skills

The start of a new year is usually an exciting time in most people's lives. It is an opportunity to make a fresh
start, to hope for better things and to work harder to achieve what you want in life.

Think about your New Year's resolutions. What do you want to achieve, build on or improve? Are there any
bad habits you want to quit, or any good habits you want to start pursuing this year, this term, this week?

You can start now. What do you want to achieve this year as far as academics go? Would you like to up
your fitness levels? Eat more healthily? The best way to start is by writing these things down. Then check
whether your goals are realistic — will you be able to achieve everything you want to this year

If you are able to visualise what you want to do this year, you can start setting your goals. Goals help map
out the path towards what you want to achieve. You will learn what goals are, how they are set, and how to
work on achieving them. In addition, you will learn to tackle problems you may encounter in trying to reach
your goals.

You will also learn about life skills. In short, life skills are problem-solving
abilities to help organise your personal affairs. Such skills are 'tools' to handle
problems and questions that you encounter daily. Your life skills improve as
you grow up and get more 'hands-on' life experience.

To achieve anything worthwhile, you first have to plan for it. The secret is to
know how to do your planning in such a way that you end up with practical
things that you can do every day — things that will help you turn into reality
those things you've planned in your head.

Reaching your goals

We each have a life dream about
what we would like to achieve.
But to each that dream, we need
a map to map out the way
forward. Think of your goals in
terms of a GPS (Global
Positioning System), mapping
out your path to the future. Have
you activated your GPS to the
future?

This is what having goals

means:

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Sourced from: Botha, L et al. (2012). Life Orientation for the Real World Grade 11. Florida: Vivlia Publishers and Booksellers (PTY) Ltd.
Having goals thus means to be geared for life, following your GPS to the future. Goals also have a setting:
• It can be personal, such as reaching a healthy weight, getting fit, or doing better at school.
• It can go for groups, such as a team working towards winning an important game.

Both individuals and groups set themselves certain goals to achieve. This means they have to remain
focused and invest enough time and energy, otherwise they won't succeed.

Goals and values

There are things you view as important in your life. These are based on your view of what is acceptable or
not. This helps form your values.

Where do values come from? Answering these two questions will help you establish
your values:
• What motivates you most in life?
• Who has had the biggest influence in your life so far?

Values are the dynamo, or driving force, for your goals. Your needs and dreams are
strengthened by your values, and together these produce your life goals.

It is important to set clear and realistic goals. Then you can monitor your progress and become motivated to
work towards even bigger goals.

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Short-term, medium-term and long-term goals

It is not enough to be goal-oriented in your thinking. The question is,

how do you achieve your goals? The best way is to break these goals
that map out your future into smaller units. These you can tackle
handson one step at a time. Then it will become easier to reach the
bigger goals.

When you set your goals, you take small leaps forward — into your
own future. Where do you see yourself in ten years' time? Within
three years? Next week? You do this by setting your GPS for the
future to map out three stages: short-, medium- and long-term
periods. Each has different benefits and they should fit together to
work towards the future you would like to have.

Visualising as a life skill

In your mind's eye you move forward in time. Then you 'visit' stages in your future life as you foresee them
now. Visualising is a unique life skill. Think of it as time travel. Imagine you are an astronaut travelling to a
distant planet to collect data and space rock samples and bring it back to earth to analyse.

When you visualise, you collect images of dreams about your future — 'dream samples' — which you relate
to your life at present. The secret of doing this 'time travel' is:
• Fast forward as far into the future as you can see in your mind's eye. That is your long-term goal,
leading to your dream. Long-term goals may take many years to achieve.
• Then rewind to a few weeks from now. This is the short term — you may achieve these goals in one
to six months, helping you on your way. Therefore, they are also called enabling goals.
• Thereafter fast forward to a year or two, three from now. You are now 'visiting' your medium-term
future. These goals are the intermediate steps where you map out the path to achieving your dream.

Remember that there is a difference between dreams and long-term goals. Dreams may be unrealistic and
'out of bounds'. But they act as a force that pulls you towards your future.

Time travel

Input: Sipho has decided that it is important for him to achieve more in life than just be
a good sportsman. He needs to broaden his options from just making a living from sport.

Time travel: This is Sipho's visit into his future to collect 'dream samples'. He is
envisaging how his life will be playing out in the different stages:
• Fast forward to the long term —touching the dream.
• Then rewind to the short term — starting the journey.
• Fast forward with the GPS set to map out the medium-term steps to get to the end goal.

Start: It is important to visualise one's goals by writing them down in full detail. You could also find
pictures or photos that relate to your goal. This will make it more real.

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Sourced from: Botha, L et al. (2012). Life Orientation for the Real World Grade 11. Florida: Vivlia Publishers and Booksellers (PTY) Ltd.
Steps in planning and goal setting

Before planning to reach your goals, you need to know exactly what they are. There is a difference between
dreams and goals:
• Dreams can be the final destination of your goals. But they could also go beyond your goals — and
they could even be unrealistic and unreal.
• Your goals lead you toward your dream. Your long-term goals take you the closest to this dream.

To accomplish this 'time travel' into your future, you need to plan your journey first. Use a step-by-step
goal-setting strategy to bring your dreams to life. This is like a To Do list, but much more: thinking and
planning after you have already 'visited' your dream in your mind.

It is important to make your goals more real by writing them down in full detail, and/or by finding pictures
that relate to your goals. Also make a visual presentation of your 'dream material ' — such as a poster on
your door or where you study.

SMART goals

Astronauts collect space rocks to analyse. In the same way, you collect 'dream samples' from 'visits' to your
future, and then you analyse this 'data' from the future. This is still raw material. You haven't reached your
goals yet. Therefore you need to process the data to make sense of what you are planning on doing today —
here and now.

You want to ensure that your goal setting is successful and realistic. You do this by
analysing the 'dream material' from your visualising exercise, using the SMART
formula. In this way you can test all your goals and see whether they will lead up to
that dream or the ultimate goal.

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Sourced from: Botha, L et al. (2012). Life Orientation for the Real World Grade 11. Florida: Vivlia Publishers and Booksellers (PTY) Ltd.
SMART is an acronym (or a word made up of letters) meaning:

Follow the process of SMART goal setting.

• SPECIFIC: The more specific your goals are, the clearer your path towards achieving your dream
will be.

• MEASURABLE: You must be able to measure your progress and see how far or close you are to
achieving your goal. You can keep track of your strategy and will quickly realise if your methods are
not working, and you begin to slide. Keep measuring your progress as you go along. Are you on
track? Or do you need to do more?

• ATTAINABLE AND REALISTIC: Ensure that your goals are attainable (possible or achievable)
and realistic, with a realistic time frame. Huge steps will not work. It will probably just discourage
you from trying again

• TIMELY: Be sure to set a deadline for your goal. Without a deadline you will not have enough
motivation to work hard to achieve your goals. If you see that you will not be able to achieve your
goal within the defined time, maybe it is time to work on your goal-setting plan and make it more
realistic, or maybe you have to change your approach or strategy.

Goal setting for a fitness regime

A healthy environment

If you want to answer the question of "How are you?" truthfully, you need to know whether you are leading
a healthy, balanced lifestyle and that you are making responsible choices.

Make healthy, responsible choices in your personal life and your environment. Go for regular walks instead
of sitting in front of the television watching videos and playing games. Invite friends to go dancing or hiking
with you — stay active.

You are at the start of a new year— a good time to make a resolution to work at your fitness levels. Get a
training partner to help you stick to your resolution; pick a good time of the day for you both to exercise; set
yourself some goals; and then go for it.

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Sourced from: Botha, L et al. (2012). Life Orientation for the Real World Grade 11. Florida: Vivlia Publishers and Booksellers (PTY) Ltd.
Here are some thoughts to help you make the right lifestyle decisions.

Eating right:
• means choosing from a variety of foods, especially fresh fruit and vegetables
• ensures that your body gets the nutrients it needs so it performs well
• includes drinking at least eight glasses of water per day
• means limiting fizzy drinks, which contain too much sugar.

Exercise:
• helps you control your weight by burning calories during and even
after exercise
• builds and maintains healthy bones, muscles and joints
• builds lean muscle
• reduces your risk of heart and other diseases
• helps prevent high blood pressure
• is a powerful anti-depressant
• helps you sleep better
• releases natural pain-killing chemicals called endorphins, which make you feel good
• improves your self-esteem.

Sleep and rest:

• are essential for getting energy to attend classes, study, exercise and socialise
• help you cope better with stress
• are important for maintaining a healthy weight.

A healthy environment is free from:

• illness
• fighting
• abuse
• pollution
• unhealthy food
• refuse lying around
• smoke — cigarette smoke as well as smoke from fires or industry

Starting a new fitness programme

Before starting a new fitness programme, you should first assess your current fitness level. You will do so in
your Physical Education class. Then work from there to set yourself realistic goals to work towards within a
month, six months and a year.

Physical fitness can be broken down into two parts:

• general fitness — a state of health and well-being, and
• specific fitness —the ability to perform a specific task or action needed for sport or work.

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Sourced from: Botha, L et al. (2012). Life Orientation for the Real World Grade 11. Florida: Vivlia Publishers and Booksellers (PTY) Ltd.
Physical fitness is generally achieved through correct nutrition and enough rest. There are five components
of physical fitness. All need the same amount of attention to make you physically fit. These components are:
1. Cardio-respiratory exercises
2. Muscular endurance
3. Muscular strength
4. Flexibility
5. Body composition

It has been proven that keeping a record of your activities tends to motivate you in
achieving your goals in following a healthy lifestyle. Keep a record of your progress
on a daily, weekly and monthly basis.

Case study
Sindy has decided to join Megan when she jogs in the morning before school. In the beginning it's hard to
get up so early, though; sometimes Megan has to SMS her more than once to get her going. But after three
weeks, it starts going much much better. Sindy actually finds she's starting to look forward to the jogging
session with Megan!

Then a strange thing happens... Sindy discovers that she's developed an appetite for more healthy foods.
Yay! She can control her appetite better and feels more like eating fruits and vegetables. She decides to
check exactly how much of each food group she's supposed to be eating, so she can make sure she gets in all
the necessary vitamins and minerals.

Not only does Sindy feel more in control of what goes into her mouth, but she feels more in control of her
life overall. She has more energy during the day, which means she can study better. Things are looking up...

Case study
Sipho is fit, but he wants to make sure that he keeps his current level of fitness, while improving his muscle
strength. He decides to build an extra half hour of weight-lifting exercises four times a week into his weekly
planner.

Unit 2: Problem-solving skills

When you set and pursue goals, you can expect that you will encounter some problems along the way.

You can choose how to handle these problems. By acquiring the right skills you will be able to deal with
such obstacles better. Anyone can learn effective problem-solving skills. You need to have a good process to
use when approaching a problem. Actually, there is a problem- processing plant available: your mind. Learn
to apply your mind.

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Sourced from: Botha, L et al. (2012). Life Orientation for the Real World Grade 11. Florida: Vivlia Publishers and Booksellers (PTY) Ltd.
Five problem-solving steps to follow

To process a problem in your mind, follow five basic steps:

1. Identify the problem
Ask yourself: "What is the problem really?"
Make sure that you are dealing with the actual problem, and not the symptoms or results of the
problem.
2. Explore information and create ideas/think of alternatives
Ask yourself: "What can I do to fix the problem?"
Write down ideas, possible solutions, or alternative ways to approach the goal.
3. Evaluate alternatives and select the best idea
Ask yourself: "Of all the ideas or solutions I thought about, which is the best way to solve this
problem?"
Think logically and practically. Then write down what the best and most realistic solution or
alternative would be.
4. Build and test the idea
Ask yourself: "How can I build on and improve this idea? How can I get the idea to work?"
Work out the finer details about your idea, and test if the idea will work if you try it this way.
5. Evaluate the results
Ask yourself: "Does this idea I tried work for me? Does it solve the original problem?" Check if
these results really solved the problem in the best way. See whether this solution requires you to
rethink your strategy for the rest of your goals.

Keep practising these skills. Problems will always be a part of your life experience, and you need to know
how to deal with them. Concentrate on step-by-step challenges and tiny victories at first. This is the way you
teach yourself to taste success. Reward yourself for each victory.

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Sourced from: Botha, L et al. (2012). Life Orientation for the Real World Grade 11. Florida: Vivlia Publishers and Booksellers (PTY) Ltd.
Perseverance and persistence

Without perseverance and persistence, nobody would ever achieve anything in life.
Add to this another P word: Positive.

Perseverance: You keep on trying, even if it seems a hopeless case.

Persistence: You never give up because you are truly committed.
Positive: You will not let anybody, or any situation prevent you from visualising the achievement at the end.

These three aspects of a healthy mindset for tackling problems are all about:
• pushing forward,
• trying harder, fighting the odds that might be against you,
• trying new ideas and moving on, and
• keeping your dreams and goals close to your heart.

Important life goals and prioritising: Family, marriage, parenting, career choices and
relationships

There are many different people and areas in your life. They all require your attention to some extent. When
you get older, different aspects, family, marriage, parenting, career choices and relationships will require
your attention on a daily basis.

To enjoy well-being, you need to maintain a healthy balance between the different areas in your life. All
goals are not equally important. You must plan and prioritise your goals. An important principle is: Put in
the hard yards now and enjoy the extended benefits later. Or you can turn it around: Play now and pay the
extended fine later.

Sometimes your goals and priorities may clash. If this happens, you have to take some time to figure out
why. Maybe your goals are not in your own best interests, or in the best interests of the other people in your
life. Learn the skill of picking out the priorities.

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Sourced from: Botha, L et al. (2012). Life Orientation for the Real World Grade 11. Florida: Vivlia Publishers and Booksellers (PTY) Ltd.
An American, Abraham Maslow, provides good guidelines on which needs are more important than others
when we want to put the right things first in life.

• The physical needs are at the bottom of the pile.

• In between the layers you’ll find the social needs and interaction, such as sport and achievements,
and safety and security
• On top are the spiritual needs that feed our inner life – self-actualisation.

Your goals should be aligned and balanced with your priorities, natural strengths and talents. In this way you
will also feel calmer and have peace of mind, and you will be able to give the right weight to the different
sectors in your life.

The relationship between personal values, choices and goal setting

If you know your priorities in life, you can establish your personal values. These values help you make
better choices in life. You will spend your time on those of your personal needs that matter.

If you know your values, you can find the connection with your inner self and with others:

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Unit 3: Relationships and their influence on your well-being

We all have different types of relationships with different people. Every different type of relationship means
different things in your life. All of these relationships are important. People need other people.

However, we cannot invest the same time, attention and energy in every relationship. You spend different
'airtime' on these relationships. Some are personal, some family and others are 'business' relationships.
Follow this wise rule: Be friendly with everybody but choose your friends.

Changing relationships

Relationships also change because you yourself are

developing and go through changes. How you experience
and value your relationships will be influenced by:
• your parents
• your peers
• your culture and belief system.

To maintain healthy relationships, remember to keep a balance. It starts from within yourself and your
attitude to change. There are two RC factors that can lead to a bad life experience:

Resistance to Change: One can be against change out of habit. Then you will pile up the excuses and faults
to be found. You are not handling change well and actually fear it.

Rebel Child: One can go for change just to rebel against what was laid as a foundation by your elders or
society. You are not handling change well, in that change becomes your way to hit out at others.

Knowing when relationships are good or bad for you

Relationships and well-being

The word 'relationship' means that you relate to other people. You also share your inner self with someone
else. Therefore, relationships keep you healthy and happy. They are necessary for your well-being in
different stages of your life.

However, certain factors can lead to bad relationships. Such relationships are not good for your health and
can cause 'bad-being' rather than 'well-being'. There are two danger signs to look out for:

Communication breakdown
You need to be on the same wavelength as someone else to relate to that person. Sometimes people do not
say directly what they mean or misunderstand each other. This could lead to relationships turning ugly.

Complaints turning into criticism

In a relationship, partners or friends have the licence to be frank with each other. Sometimes this could spare
the other person real embarrassment. There is, however, a big difference between a complaint and criticism.
How you approach a problem will affect how the other person will react to it.

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 • A complaint is specific, about one thing that troubles you. Start by stating your own feelings (using
the 'me' word): "It upsets me when ...
• Criticism is vague and breaks down the other person, rather than just dealing with the issue at hand.
It also places the focus on the other person (using the 'you'-word): "You are ..."

When you experience 'bad-being' in a relationship, things tend to become worse and worse. Such a
relationship can make you feel physically ill. It can also affect how you perform at school or in a team.

To be able to build good strong relationships with all the people in your life, you must have respect for the
individuality of each person you come into contact with. Other people will make mistakes; you as well.

Learn to work on the problem areas in your own attitude.

Remember: RELATIONSHIPS rhymes with RESPECT

Without respect, trust, support and forgiveness, no relationship will work.

Rights and responsibilities in relationships

It is easy to list the things you want in a relationship. Each of us carries a TO HAVE list for our
relationships.

However, it is easy to forget that it takes two people to make a good relationship work. Relationships require
constant work and commitment from both people involved. Your TO HAVE list must be connected to a TO
GIVE list. You have the right to a healthy time together. Remember, rights always go with responsibilities!

In a healthy relationship both of you have to keep this balance. You should be clear beforehand on what
these rights and responsibilities entail. Rights are granted, while responsibilities are given.

Social and cultural views influence relationships

Remember: Relationships let other people into our lives. Modern society and the
cultural beliefs and views of others will have an effect on the types of relationships
you have. By opening yourself up to other people from different backgrounds, you
will learn to become a world citizen.

Positive contact with people from different backgrounds can help you understand other cultures better.
You can build on a new life experience with people different from you.

Negative contact with people from different backgrounds will lead to misunderstandings and suspicion.
This could lead to 'bad-being' in relationships or could damage relationships.

For healthy relationships, remember to keep the balance: Measure other people's beliefs and habits against
those of your culture and community. Be open for new understandings that can build your own life
experience.

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Relationship qualities

Daily we stand in different relationships. We connect with different individuals and share our views on life.
However, there are constants in all relationships. There are some qualities that are important to ensure long
and healthy relationships. This goes for friendship, love, family or business relationships. One can view
these constants as the gemstones of all relationships.

The core element of these gemstones is the secret of all relationships: do to others as you would have them
do to you. Or, put differently: Don't do to others what you don't want to be done to yourself.

Individuality

In any mature and healthy relationship, the two individuals will have room to be themselves, even when they
are together. How you relate to others starts at the innermost circle of a relationship: yourself. This is your
ME-zone, how you choose to participate and your attitude. Unhealthy relationships impact negatively on
your ME-zone, and often involve fear and/or a poor self-esteem.

Fear: You are afraid the other person wants to leave. Therefore, you do things to buy their friendship (such
as giving presents, or agreeing to activities that you would not do out of your own). This relationship
becomes unhealthy and can lead to emotional blackmail.

Poor self-esteem: You do not value yourself enough to receive your relationship rights on an equal basis.
When you don't invest your values and viewpoint into a relationship, the other person could begin to take
control. It could even lead to demands that you change your personality or who you are to become
acceptable.

Can vou be together with someone and still be yourself?

Are you still yourself when in a group?

Some people act differently when they are in a group from when you interact with them on their own.
• A group provides false safety and confidence that some people do not have on their own. But the
cost is: the group prescribes the rules of the relationship.
• However, it takes only one person standing up for what he or she believes to change the direction of
the group as a whole.

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Impact of the media on values and beliefs about relationships

There are many different types of media:

• Press or printed media (such as newspapers, magazines and books)
• Audio media (radio)
• Audio-visual media (such as television and the Internet)
• Social media (social networks on the Internet and cellphones)

All of these media have an impact on our lives — sometimes positive, sometimes negative. For each type of
media we need a different approach.

The different forms of media play a script for our relationships. In a certain sense, the media provides a
superficial or virtual environment where other values are acted out. This creates a world that seems real, but
teaches expectations that are not realistic. Scientists who study relationships and behavioural patterns among
people refer to this virtual world as hyperreality. It is as if there is a reality out there that controls us and
processes our lives to make us fit like modules in a machine. The world we live in has been replaced by a
'copy world' in which we look for things that are not real. This 'copy world' stimulates us to believe it is the
true life, though. We can learn valuable life lessons through the scenarios presented to us, but we have to
remember that this is not real life.

Overload: We are bombarded with so many media images that we have come to
view them as real and true. We experience infinite choices and options, and are not
only taking in new information, but help distribute it ourselves through the world-
wide web. While this means we have a wealth of information to enrich ourselves
with, it has to be carefully managed.

Over-easy: The issues of real life are often skipped over.

• Violence is portrayed through action scenes without real consequences; violence becomes a means to
solve problems or get what one wants.
• Sexual relations are quick and easy; women are hot and willing and have stepped out of a fashion
magazine.
• Life choices are polished and easy stuff: romantic dreams come true — on screen.

Then we expect that life will be the same for us in our relationships. There may be some comical turn, but
things will turn out perfect at the end. When this is not the case, people feel disappointed and manipulated.

Social media is also changing the way we communicate and connect with people. There are new portals for
our relationships:
• We connect with a lot more friends through Facebook, Twitter, etc., we like and comment on
people's most intimate and personal issues, but we never meet them.
• We are, however, a lot less personal. Face-to-face interaction is exchanged for Facebook chats or our
cyber lives. People spend more time on social networks than with real friends and with their family.

In the end people carry the style of online company into their direct contact with others. They want to fast
forward their relationships without wanting to invest: they want to like and unlike. Or when teenagers are
together, they shy away from real contact and rather continue their cyber relationships. Have you heard
about today's social slumber?
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