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Andes Cycling Journey Journal Entry

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10 views4 pages

Andes Cycling Journey Journal Entry

Uploaded by

p.deborah
Copyright
© All Rights Reserved
We take content rights seriously. If you suspect this is your content, claim it here.
Available Formats
Download as RTF, PDF, TXT or read online on Scribd

Question 3 Model Answer: Journal

For this task, you will be asked to produce a piece of writing in a particular format, based on what you
have read in Text C. You may be asked to write in one of six possible formats (genres):

A letter

A report

A journal entry

A speech

An interview

An article

Text C and Question 3

The following example of Text C is about a travel specialist who goes on a cycling journey across the
Andes mountain range in South America.
Question 3 journal model answer

Based on the above question, the following model answer is an example of a full-mark journal response:

Worked Example
As we are now on our way home, I can reflect on our adventure and what I've learned. We were all so
excited to be cycling through an incredible landscape, and we felt well prepared with our wet weather
gear. I quickly realised that this trip was not going to be easy, as we'd only just reached the top of a
mountain pass when hailstones started to fall! I normally love the thrill of a hill descent, but it was so
cold I lost feeling in my hands, making it hard to control the bike, and the terrain was truly terrifying. I
can't describe how relieved I was when we entered Colquepata and were told it was only 40 minutes
downhill to Paucartambo. Well, it wasn't 40 minutes, but at least the roads were smooth and it started
to feel fun. I got a real sense of everyday life in Peru, and Paucartambo itself was so picturesque, I
started to feel more excited again and what else we would see.

That first day felt tough, especially with another downpour and a flat tyre to deal with. However, my
feelings changed as we got further into the jungle. The heady scents and humid air were the complete
opposite to the high Andes, and I'll never forget cycling through a haze of butterflies. It was like being in
a cartoon! I was a bit disappointed to find out we had to wait a couple of days for a bus out of Pilcopata,
but this turned out to be an unexpected bonus as we were able to really immerse ourselves in Peruvian
life and talk to the locals. It made me think about how we rush around all the time at home, sticking to
schedules and losing the art of conversation. Nobody is in a hurry in the heat of the jungle. I was
especially surprised to find out how little money from tourism actually gets to the people of the town. If
I've taken away anything from this journey, it's to be more environmentally aware of our actions as
tourists, and to buy local when travelling to put money back into the economy.

Even though some of the journey has been really tough, I'm so glad I did it as I feel as though I have
grown as a person. I've been able to work as part of a team and learned more about a part of the world I
knew very little about.

Commentary

The answer starts clearly in the first person and demonstrates an awareness of the purpose of the task

The response gives a clear and convincing account of the main features of the journey

It uses and develops several ideas, both factual and inferential, from the passage

The response clearly focuses on the writer’s thoughts and feelings

A consistent narrative voice is maintained throughout

It picks up on the references to the understanding of a different way of life and the importance of
preserving this and the surrounding environment
The response also demonstrates and develops suggestions about what the writer may have learnt from
their journey

Examiner Tips and Tricks

The suggested word count for this task is a guide, and you are not penalised for writing under or over
250-350 words. However, writing too little can mean that your answer does not have enough
development or detail. Writing too much can mean that you go off topic and lose focus, which again can
be self-penalising. It is therefore a good idea to stick as closely as you can to the word count guidance.

Our model answers are not written in timed, exam conditions. We have therefore shown a range of
points that could be included to answer this question, and provided a model you can use to help with
the structure of your answer.

You can find further guidance on suggested word counts for CIE here(opens in a new tab).

Summary

Remember to read the question carefully and highlight:

The instructions (what you have to do)

The focus of each bullet point

Re-read Text C and highlight the relevant information you can use in your answer

Address each bullet point in order:

Make sure you cover all of the bullet points as equally as possible

Base all of your answer on the ideas and details you find in Text C

Decide on the voice and style you want to create and maintain that in your answer

Do not just repeat details of what happened:

You need to develop your ideas to demonstrate understanding

Common questions

Powered by AI

The journey through the diverse terrains of the Andes, marked by hailstorms and flat tires, symbolizes adaptability and resilience as central themes . The changing environments, from high mountain chills to humid jungles, necessitate rapid adjustments and endurance, mirrored by the author's ability to navigate physical discomforts and embrace unexpected developments, such as the extended stay in Pilcopata . This adaptability fosters growth and an appreciation for the journey's unpredictability .

The author juxtaposes the physical challenges, such as harsh weather and difficult terrains, with reflections on the emotional and intellectual discoveries made during the journey . Descriptions of cold and exhaustion juxtapose moments of cultural depth, like cycling through a haze of butterflies and engaging with locals in Pilcopata . These contrasting experiences highlight the transformative nature of challenges and underpin personal growth and expanded environmental and cultural consciousness .

During the stay in Pilcopata, the writer reflects on the contrast between the hurried lifestyle typical of their home and the unrushed, conversational pace observed in the jungle . This cultural variation in perception of time underscores a broader recognition of valuing presence and interpersonal relations over rigid scheduling, highlighting a significant cultural insight derived from the journey. It prompts an appreciation for a more meaningful, less hurried engagement with the world .

Environmental awareness emerges as a crucial aspect of the author's transformation, as evidenced by reflections on the disparity between tourism's economic impact on local communities and the importance of environmentally conscious travel . The journey prompts the author to advocate for supporting local economies and being mindful of ecological footprints, which signifies a shift towards sustainability and a deeper ethical engagement with the environment .

The journal entry maintains reader engagement by weaving vivid, sensory descriptions with introspective reflections, effectively conveying the multifaceted experiences of the journey . By using a first-person narrative, the entry creates an intimate connection with the reader, encouraging empathy and shared insight. The balance between external challenges and internal growth sustains interest and compels the reader to reflect on similar themes of cultural understanding and personal transformation .

The author's journey highlights the necessity for tourists to be mindful of their environmental impact and economic contributions to local communities . This transformation can encourage future tourists to practice responsible travel by choosing to support local businesses and prioritizing eco-friendly practices. Such shifts could lead to more sustainable tourism industries that benefit local populations and the environment, promoting cultural understanding and preservation .

The journey exemplifies the interconnectedness of personal growth and cultural exchange through immersive experiences that challenge the author's preconceived notions and prompt personal reflection. Interactions with locals and the recognition of tourism's limited local economic impact lead to enhanced cultural awareness . These experiences foster introspection on lifestyle and environmental practices, demonstrating how cultural exchange catalyzes significant personal growth .

The cycling journey across the Andes allows for a firsthand experience of Peruvian culture, providing a real sense of everyday life in places like Paucartambo . Interacting with locals and observing the slow-paced life in Pilcopata encourages reflection on the fast-paced lifestyle of home . This immersion fosters an appreciation for the local customs and socio-economic challenges, like the minimal financial benefit locals receive from tourism, prompting a reconsideration of tourism practices .

The first-person narrative voice enhances the journal's reflective nature by providing personal insights and emotional responses to the journey . This voice maintains a consistent tone that focuses on the writer’s thoughts and feelings, allowing for an authentic depiction of the challenges and rewards of the trip . It effectively conveys personal growth and an increased environmental awareness, linking introspection with broader themes of cultural understanding and sustainability .

The author could have employed qualitative methods such as interviews with local business owners to gain deeper insights into economic challenges posed by tourism. Additionally, participating in local community meetings or engaging in volunteer work would provide practical perspectives. Keeping a reflective journal documenting observations and dialogues would further enhance understanding of the socio-economic landscape and the local community's needs .

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