Some people think that the government should strictly control the supply of fresh water,
as it is a limited resource, while others think it should not be regulated.
Discuss both sides and give your opinion.
Intro:
Body: Yes
● Rich people wasting fresh water as the fee is not considered as expensive to them,
causing waste of resources
● Who determines the limits of fresh water usage
Body: No
● Everyone should have the freedom to access clean fresh water as long as they pay
for it
● cannot solve the problem of wasting fresh water
Some believe that the government should exclusively control the supply of fresh water, while
some believe it should not be controlled. There are pros and cons towards both stances, and
they will be discussed in this essay.
The reason that fresh water supply should be strictly controlled is because people do not
cherish these limited resources, a huge amount of fresh water is being used unnecessarily. An
obvious example will be fountains or fish pools. In this case, fresh water is used for
decoration instead of supplying the basic needs of humans. However, the limited supply of
fresh water could lead to possible illegal activities, such as trading of fresh water in black
markets or stealing of fresh water. Therefore, it may damage the stability of the social
well-being of the country.
Even though there will be a wastage of water if it is freely supplied,
Even thoughItwaste
should be
of fresh granted
water will occurto every
when citizen.
the supply is not strictly controlled, the
freedom of using fresh water should be granted to everyone. The cost of fresh water is equal
to each consumer and therefore water usage will be reflected on their water bills, as long as
the consumers are financially capable of covering the bills. Moreover, the quota on fresh
water will damage the living standard of most people, such as limiting shower time.
Conversely, social equality will be lowered, rich people can access unlimited fresh water as
they can afford the water bills. However, the lower class do have to restrict the use of fresh
water due to the costly fees of fresh water. Leading to a low satisfaction on living standard for
a proportion of the society.
Even though the problem of unnecessary waste of fresh water can be solved if supply is
strictly regulated, this essay strongly believes that the government should not limit the supply,
as people should have the right to access unlimited supply of fresh water from nature.
ENG2000 IELTS Five-Day Workshop
Writing Paper – Comment Sheet
Name: Group: L
Task 2
Task response:
Partially addressing the question
Logic problem / unclear stance
Elaboration and support: clear/ lack
Using own research ( quoting real data, faking data)
Copying directly from the question
Word limit: under-length/ over-length
Structure:
Lack topic sentences / Lack effective signposting
Poor structure within the paragraph
Ineffective conclusion ( repetitive ideas with no insights or message)
Poor paragraphing ( intro combined with body; one sentence as a paragraph)
Vocabulary:
Lack synonyms Awkward vocabulary (awk.)
Lack / Misusing signposting words Lack high-level vocab
Grammar:
Wrong use of punctuations / abbreviations Conjugation of verb
( ( ) ? : ; … ! “” — e.g. etc. i.e.) they has
Wrong tone they have
Personal pronouns: I think, as we know Missing plural ‘s’
Contractions: there’s, won’t, it’s, that’ll Articles (a, an, the)
Starters: So, Because, That’s why, It means Prepositions (on, at, in...)
Spelling errors (s.p.) Part of speech (POS)
Wrong tenses (t) [important (verb); importance
Sentence fragment (SVO) (missing subject / (noun)]
verb, incomplete thought) Chinglish
Overusing determiner “this / there” it will easy people
Unclear subject “it / they / we” people are easy to...
Run-on sentence it will be easy for people
Wrong use of conjunction ‘and’ to...
Verb + verb repetition (V²)
make it move; move it
Other remarks:
2
Some think that governments should tax unhealthy foods to encourage people to eat
healthier.
To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Body 1. Dis, reduce the demand of unhealthy food, would cause unemployment
Body 2, reduce living standard by increasing the cost of groceries, as usually health food
such as veggies and fruit are more expensive than unhealthy foods
Some believe that the government should impose taxations on unhealthy food in order to
promote a healthier diet. This essay strongly disagrees with the statement, due to the concern
of unemployment and the reduction of living standard.
As the demand of a product is highly related to the price, the imposition of indirect tax on
unhealthy food will cause the demand to plunge. As the demand for unhealthy food drops, the
producers will have to release a portion of employees due to the fall of profits, causing
unemployment, which reduces their household income and therefore the living standard.
Nevertheless, high unemployment in society will increase government spending on transfer
payments such as unemployment benefits, this will create an opportunity cost on government
spending towards other necessities, such as school and infrastructures.
Furthermore, healthy food such as fruits and vegetables are most likely to be more expensive
than unhealthy processed food. When a tax is being implemented on unhealthier food, people
are somehow forced to buy healthier food as a replacement. This is going to increase the
average cost of groceries for the households, this will increase stress and also reduce living
standard. With the extra cost of groceries, some households will have to reduce the food they
consume, leading to imbalance and insufficient intake of nutrients, causing further health
issues.
To summarize, this essay believes that the government should not impose taxations on
unhealthy food, instead they should encourage citizens to have a healthier body through
working out.
ENG2000 IELTS Five-Day Workshop
Writing Paper – Comment Sheet
Name: Group: L
Task 2
Task response:
Partially addressing the question
Logic problem / unclear stance
Elaboration and support: clear/ lack
Using own research ( quoting real data, faking data)
Copying directly from the question
Word limit: under-length/ over-length
Structure:
Lack topic sentences / Lack effective signposting
Poor structure within the paragraph
Ineffective conclusion ( repetitive ideas with no insights or message)
Poor paragraphing ( intro combined with body; one sentence as a paragraph)
Vocabulary:
Lack synonyms Awkward vocabulary (awk.)
Lack / Misusing signposting words Lack high-level vocab
Grammar:
Wrong use of punctuations / abbreviations Conjugation of verb
( ( ) ? : ; … ! “” — e.g. etc. i.e.) they has
Wrong tone they have
Personal pronouns: I think, as we know Missing plural ‘s’
Contractions: there’s, won’t, it’s, that’ll Articles (a, an, the)
Starters: So, Because, That’s why, It means Prepositions (on, at, in...)
Spelling errors (s.p.) Part of speech (POS)
Wrong tenses (t) [important (verb); importance
Sentence fragment (SVO) (missing subject / (noun)]
verb, incomplete thought) Chinglish
Overusing determiner “this / there” it will easy people
Unclear subject “it / they / we” people are easy to...
Run-on sentence it will be easy for people
Wrong use of conjunction ‘and’ to...
Verb + verb repetition (V²)
make it move; move it
Other remarks: