ACT TWO ENTR’ACTE CD Track 14 Lewis Carroll After watching the Cheshire Cat slowly

vanish, Alice set off once more. She had not gone much further before she came in sight of
the house of the March Hare. She thought it must be the right house because the chimneys
were shaped like ears and the roof was thatched with fur. There was a table set out under a
tree in front of the house where the March Hare and the Hatter were having tea. A
Dormouse was sitting between them, fast asleep. (Alice approaches table) Hare & Hatter No
room! No room! Alice There’s plenty of room! (Alice sits down) Hare Have some wine. Alice I
don’t see any wine. Hatter There isn’t any. Alice Then it wasn’t very civil of you to offer it.
Hare It wasn’t very civil of you to sit down without being invited. Alice I didn’t know it was
your table. Hatter Your hair wants cutting. Alice You should learn not to make personal
remarks – it’s very rude. Hatter Why is a raven like a writing desk? Alice I believe I can guess
that. Hare Do you mean you think that you can find the answer to it? Alice Exactly so! Hare
Then you should say what you mean. Alice I do. At least I mean what I say. That’s the same
thing you know. Hatter Not the same thing a bit! You might just as well say that “I eat what I
see” is the same as “I see what I eat”. Hare You might just as well say that “I like what I get”
is the same as “I get what I like”. 18 Dormouse You might just as well say that “I breathe
when I sleep” is the same as “I sleep when I breathe!”. Hatter It is the same thing with you!
(They sit silent for a minute) What day of the month is it? Alice The fourth. Hatter Two days
wrong! I told you butter wouldn’t suit the works! (Looking angrily at the Hare) Hare It was
the best butter. Hatter Yes, but some crumbs must have got in as well. You shouldn’t have
put it in with the breadknife. Hare It was the best butter, you know! Alice What a funny
watch! It tells the day of the month and doesn’t tell what o’clock it is! Hatter Why should it?
Does your watch tell you what year it is? Alice Of course not, but that’s because it stays the
same year for such a long time together. Hatter Which is just the case with mine. Alice I
don’t quite understand you. Hatter The Dormouse is asleep again. (Pours tea on his nose)
Dormouse Of course, of course; just what I was going to remark myself. Hatter Have you
guessed the riddle yet? Alice No – I give up. What’s the answer? Hatter I haven’t the slightest
idea! MAD AS A HATTER (Song and Dance) CD Track 15 HATTER CHORUS I’m mad as a hatter!
I’ve never felt better, It’s hard to believe that I’m out of my mind, But I’m mad as a hatter! So
pass me the butter, ’Cause life is a tea-party all of the time! ALL He’s mad as a hatter! He’s
never felt better! Etc … HATTER DORMOUSE & HARE (or ALL) Ravens are rather like desks. (A
riddle! A riddle!) 19 Tell me if you think it’s true. (Tell him, do tell him!) You won’t be able to
guess. (He’ll have to tell you!) I’ve really not got a CHORUS He’s mad as a hatter … It was the
middle of March, (The middle! The middle!) I had a quarrel with time. (Yes we remember!)
Now he does nothing I ask, (He never listens) He was a good friends of CHORUS He’s mad as
a hatter … Hatter I want a clean cup! Let’s all move one place on! HATTER I find it hard to
explain, (A puzzle! A puzzle!) Thoughts that go round in my head. (No rhyme or reason)
Dormouse you’re sleeping again! (Yawn. Twinkle twinkle) You’d better go back to (Hatter
stuffs dormouse into teapot!) CHORUS He’s mad as a hatter … CHORUS I’m mad as a hatter
… © 1997 & 2006 Out of the Ark Music, Surrey KT12 4RQ Alice (As she walks away) I’ll never
go there again! It’s the stupidest tea party I ever was at in all my life! Lewis Carroll Just as she
said this, Alice noticed that one of the trees had a door leading right into it. Curious indeed –
but in she went. She found herself at last in the beautiful garden, among the bright flower-
beds and the cool fountains. A large rose-tree stood near the entrance of the garden. The
roses growing on it were white, but there were three gardeners there, busily painting them
red. Two Look out now Five! Don’t go splashing paint over me like that! Five I couldn’t help
it! Seven jogged my elbow! Seven That’s right Five! Always lay the blame on oth