I've titled this uh theme as Gita for life because I'm taking themes based on

bhagavad-gita um but they are for life as in um we are going to take those
themes which have a lot of practical relevance in our lives because interestingly
the the Gita is a book which is called by several commentators as both um as
well as so in Sanskrit Moksha means for Liberation and we have ahara means
how to live in this world we say in Hindi right we have a heart so because it is as
well there are several themes in the Gita which have a lot of practical application
in our day-to-day life and one such thing that we are going to start with today is
called as Duality okay so the theme is called as duality in Sanskrit that term used
is duality right so what is this Duality how does it impact us in our daily life and
so on that is what we are going to see today so I'll begin with this verse from the
second chapter of bhagavad-gita this is from the second chapter text number 14
I put the text on the screen as well so Krishna speaks this to Arjuna where he
says o son of kunti the non-permanent appearance of happiness and distress and
their Disappearance in due course are like appearance and disappearance of
winter and summer seasons they arise from sense perception or scan of bharata
and must one must learn to tolerate them without being disturbed okay so what
Krishna is saying here in this particular text is that uh life in general is about
these dualities

Duality means what like you see in this verse Krishna is saying happiness and
distress okay so there is happiness there is distress and sometimes even the
happiness is not pure happiness that happiness also has some distressed
component
when you say happiness and distance it doesn't mean two different things if the
same thing the other is also there in happiness there is distress and in distress
also you know there is some pleasure one could get so this is like winter and
summer so the the example of winter and summer is given because there are
some things about summer that all of us like maybe we get mangoes to eat so
we all like summer for that ice cream and so on but then there are some things
we may not like so much it's so hot and you know in some places it may be very
humid as well always sweating and so on uh similarly winter one may like winter
for some reasons and you know so you can digest more food Etc um however it's
kind of uh chill so we tend to be a little lethargic sometimes we don't want to
move out we don't want to get up so easily and so on so the point is whether it is
summer or winter both these seasons have their plus and their miners correct so
okay it's not that summer is everything is good about summer and everything is
bad about winter no it's not like that there are some advantages here some
disadvantages there so this is called duality okay and as a solution Krishna
mentions in this verse in Sanskrit means to tolerate okay so Krishna is giving an
advice to all of us that one could try to tolerate this Duality so let's uh try to see
more about this today okay so so this is these are the different points that we
are going to discuss in the next 40 minutes in Sanskrit Duality is called and as I
have put a picture on the top right of the screen you can see uh as they say in
English part between a rock and a hard place okay so it's very it's a this is a
phrase in English which indicates that both the options are slightly difficult so
what we are going to do today is
we are going to start with the definition of Duality what is duality then we are
going to see the gita's context what was arjuna's Duality before the war other
example from Indian epics medieval times even current political times you will
see what do you mean by Duality our personal lives as well then I will talk about
qualities how even qualities have Duality that's the fourth topic how to deal with
it so from the fifth onwards we are going to talk solution perspective how to deal
with duality what are the pitfalls when we are unable to handle Duality and the
take-home message for today okay so so this is what is the theme for today I'll
try to keep it uh as I said by 8 45 you should be done so that uh you know I don't
extend it too much right yeah so

1 Definition of Duality

Let's start with the first point uh definitions of Duality so first let's try to
understand a basic definition okay so there are several definitions but the first
one is

Duality can be defined as a flip side to anything in life okay so this is some this is
a definition that you can always remember everything in life comes with a flip
side anything you
மறுபக்கம்

you chose a career right uh you

you took a particular branch of engineering you chose a particular College okay
you choose a particular company where you work uh
maybe later in life you will choose a particular spouse when you get married any
decision
you take that will have a flip side okay it's it's never going to happen in life that
you can take a decision where everything is Rosy and good that never happens
okay that happens only in Bollywood one may say where they you know they
show that yeah they show all these unrealistic things right sometimes in terms of
how life is but in reality life is never like that there is a flip side to anything that

2
இன்பம் துன்பம்
another definition is anything we do there is pain just like we gave the example
earlier of summer and winter in both the seasons there are some things good
there are some things troublesome okay any job you take any carrier you take
some things will be very nice in it some things will not be good in it it is not going
to happen that something some option is there where there is only pain or there
is another option where there is only pleasure no that doesn't really happen in
life it's it's a mixed bag okay that's a second definition and

முடிவு & விளைவு

the third definition I'm giving here is the gap between decision and consequence
you take a decision and there is a consequence and there is a gap between
these two generally we imagine that any decision I take I will get consequence
exactly as I imagine okay that means we imagine Duality to not exist in our life
but that does not happen there will always be a gap the bigger the Gap The More
The Duality you know between the consequence and the decision right well I
mean I just to give a simple example you know someone falls in love and uh you
know kind of elopes with the lover goes away somewhere they take a decision
thinking that oh everything will be so nice it was my lover after all so we're going
to have a good time in life but the consequences you cannot imagine how it
could be you know so it's never going to be picture perfect and Rosy for sure uh
at
best it can be uh you know something close to what you imagine but with some
uh differences but in the worst case it could be something that you never
imagined will happen right because the Gap is too much in that case we say that
The Duality was very high you know so this is how we would say so this is these
are some basic definitions so going next right uh no so

2 Examples of Duality

2.1 Arjuna’ confusion

what was arjuna's Duality so so let's uh go into the bhagavad-gita itself because
we are looking at that as our text I'm sure all of you know the basic story in

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Mahabharata so you will be able to appreciate uh you know this particular point
about uh arjuna's duality in this particular situation just give me a second um
okay so in the bhagavad-gita so historically uh since uh everybody may know the
story but still I'm just going to briefly talk to you that the Mahabharata is the
story of this war between you know the pandavas and the kauravas so the
pandavas are the five brothers whose kingdom has been usurped by duryodhana
and all his friends all his companions and uh you know they do various tricks to
ensure that the pandavas don't get their Kingdom back and at one point of time
when it becomes very clear to the pandava Kingdom there is a you know there is
a war that's about to take place and when the war is about to take place both
the armies the armies of the pandavas and the armies of the kauravas come
together in this place called kurukshetra and at that point of time what exactly
happens is Arjuna when he sees bhishma and so the war is about to begin but
just before the war begins Arjuna sees his relatives on both sides when he sees
his relatives on both sides especially when he sees bhishma and drona okay so
you need to understand the historical context of the Mahabharata that bhisma
was the teacher of uh was the grandfather of Arjuna whom Arjun really loud very
much and uh grona was his teacher so these two people Arjuna loved a lot so
what was happening is um okay so Arjuna was very much attached to his
grandfather and teacher so he is very reluctant to fight okay so this is the
background of the bhagavad-gita correct so the duality of Arjuna is that in the
beginning of bhagavad-gita he tells Krishna that how can I fight my grandfather
how can I do that how do you expect me Krishna that I should shoot arrows at
my grandpa okay so you see these verses from the second chapter that I've put
up he says they are worthy of My Worship how do you expect me to throw
arrows at them so okay so so this is Duality right because there is a decision
Arjuna has taken initially the decision he has taken is to come and fight but when
he is about to begin the war he suddenly becomes conscious that oh this war
means I would have to shoot at my grandpa and my teacher which is going to be
very difficult for me so I would rather not do it okay so so this is The Duality that
means if Arjuna has to fight the war then he has to kill or attack this okay so that
is a flip side are you understanding so I said earlier right Duality means anything
as a flip side so the flip side for Arjuna to fight this war is that he has to shoot at
his grandfather integer that is a flip side and this Arjuna feels is very difficult for
me that's exactly what he's saying correct and if you look at the other verse I
cannot fight this war and he puts his weapons down okay so so please try to
understand so if Arjuna fights the war he has to fight this point which is painful
for him so this is the flip side of fighting okay but now what is happening is
Arjuna has apparently taken a decision not to fight but he is not exactly clear
about the consequence of not fighting okay so please try to understand this
when you fight there are certain consequences when you fight as in when Arjuna
fights what are the consequences he has to fight his grandfather and teacher but
if he doesn't fight there are another set of consequences are you getting it which
are also going to have its own pain on flip side that is what Krishna tells Arjuna
later in the Gita okay so if you see the verses have put up 35 36 these are from
the second chapter where Krishna is telling hey Arjuna you are thinking that you
will just run away from the you will not fight and you will go away from the
battlefield and all your problems will be solved but krsna says I will tell you that
by not fighting this battle some other set of problems are going to come are you
aware of that Krishna is asking okay and Krishna is suggesting that those
problems will be bigger than this problem okay so current problem of Arjuna is if
I fight I have to fight my grandfather and teacher but if I don't fight then what
will happen that Arjuna is not immediately conscious but

4
Krishna is telling him so look at the point with krsna's krsna says you know you
were afraid of this battle that means you are afraid of this battle and that is why
you went away from here and whatever High estimation they had about your
greatness will all be reduced to ashes that's what everybody will say because
people will not say that you left the battle because you had love for your
grandfather and teacher they will say that you are such a coward which is why
your anime and then you hear that you will be very much paint in your heart
because the fact of the matter is you're not a covered you're a brave person
okay but if you give up the battle right now and go away people are not going to
think very high about you so I hope all of you are able to understand the duality
of Arjuna which is captured in this particular slide correct I'm just repeating the
point again please try to understand this if Arjuna fights the war there is a
problem what is the problem he has to fight his grandfather and teacher which is
painful what if Arjuna runs away from the war that is also a decision what is the
consequence of that the consequence of that is everybody is going to call him a
coward everybody will say he got frightened looking at this big army and that is
why he ran away and all his reputation will be in ashes and ultimately that will
give you more pain right why Krishna is saying this will give you more pain
because it is a fact right because Arjuna is a brave man if you call a brave person
a coward then it is very painful for that person right so so so so so this is so I
hope you are able to appreciate here the example of Arjuna what anjuna is
facing okay so this is what it means by saying caught between a rock and a hard
place and this is going to happen this this with each of us in our life right and
every juncture of our life same thing happens either you do this then there are
these these problems or do you do this then there are some other set of
problems right anything you take anything you take in life that you do okay there
is okay there is a flip side to it right and uh we are all in in that way we are
caught in the similar predicament like Arjuna so generally

what happens is we are only thinking about the option that we are
currently chosen we are thinking in line with that so at that time we are
conscious only about the pitfalls of that but we are not conscious of the
pitfalls of the other thing you know which is not in our mind like for
example here Arjun he was thinking about the pitfalls of fighting the battle he
was not thinking about the pitfall of not fighting the battles which Krishna
reminded see these are the pitfalls of not fighting are you understanding this
point so similarly with all of us similarly with all of us

any decision you take suppose let's say you are in a particular job okay you want
to leave that job and you go to another job okay so currently you may be only
conscious about the pitfalls of the current job because you are in that job so you
may be thinking about this job has so many problems I'm having to work so
many hours a day it gives less money or whatever you are thinking only about
the cause of the current job but then what about the other option which you are
going to take later that is also it is nothing is a bed of roses in life so the Gita
that's why I'm saying that Gita presents life the way it is because life is not uh
you know a bed of roses a romantic experience a pure romantic experience
without any sorrow it doesn't happen like that right so the other option is also
going to have its own set of problems which we are not conscious when we take
a decision sometimes and that's exactly what is happening with Arjun here right
so we are going to

5
so let's see some more examples before we elaborate this particular thing so
there are there are so many examples we could take but I will take some
examples from uh tenderly either ramayan or Mahabharata and then speak
about examples uh you know which are in our daily experience or life okay so so
let me start with the ramayan you know one story which uh

2.2 Sita sent to forest by Rama

which brings pain or doubt to many people in their life is how Ram dealt with Sita
okay so we all know if you know the basic story of Rama and you would know
that Ram he wins back Sita from Lanka after defeating ravana and then he
brings Sita back to ayodhya but when they come back to ayodhya what happens
is and RAM is coordinated as a king and Sita is pregnant as well so at that time
as a king what RAM does is he sends spies into the kingdom regularly to find out
what people are talking about him because that's very important for the king to
get a feedback about what people are talking so it turns out that people in the
Kingdom were gossiping about Ram they were saying that what is this King you
know he has got his wife was staying in another man's house for 10 months and
he has brought her back to his home husband like this you know Ordinary People
want all this stuff at that time Ram takes a decision to send Sita to valmiki Muniz
ashram okay he tells lakshman that take her and drop her there and come back
and then onwards in the story RAM and Sita are actually separated right Sita is
awesome and there she give birth she gives birth to the twins love and push-ups
okay so this is a story now when you hear the story at one level it looks very cool
how could Ram take a decision like this to banish his wife to the Forest right just
because somebody was saying something what is
The Duality here see Ram was caught again between a rock and a hard place
what is a rock and a hard place either you live happily with your wife or you be a
king where people will respect you okay unfortunately for Ram both were not
possible because if he was going to stay with his wife people would constantly
criticize okay and if he had to ensure that nobody criticizes him or most people
stop criticizing him then it means that he has to you know sacrifice his own
personal family life it was not possible that he can have both this became The
Duality program so what did he choose he chose the option of being away from
Sita which was painful for him as well because it's not that he just sent Sita to
valmiki's argument when he got remarried and he was having a Gala time, no he
lived single for the rest of his life and Sita also lived like that uh but but then
people at least understood that oh our King is someone you cannot just gossip
about him and uh you know I expect that he will not do something so so let's be
careful about it so the point here is so this is okay
there are two options in life both options have its own issues with it
correct so giving some other examples so there are so many examples we
could go on and on I'll just take one or two more examples to highlight this point
so

2.3 Kunti and Karna

if you see in Mahabharata there is the story of kunti okay kunti is a character in
The Mahabharata very fascinating character okay she gets uh a blessing so to
speak from a sage for durvas that she can chant a mantra and invite any devata
any God and obtain a son from him so can you imagine it looks quite amazing
gift you know you can call any devatha and get a son from that person okay now

6
this is a benediction or a wound that kunti obtained okay now at the face of it it
looks very exciting and that's what kunti also felt so she immediately saw the
sun in the sky and she thought why not call the sun god Surya and let us see
what happens and Surya indeed comes in the story and as a result of that as her
son okay so that benediction which was there that Moon which was there that
blessing which was there which kunti got it did not come without a flip side are
you getting it the flip side of that benediction was that karna was born and if you
see kunti's life entire life she was always thinking about this Mission but
unfortunately both of them don't know each other and they are fighting with
each other okay so but on the other side that Boon also helped kunti in life
because later in the story you see in the Mahabharata that pandu her husband
her later when she gets married to pandu she is unable to have children with her
for some reason is only due to due to this particular was indeed useful there's no
question about it but it did not come without a flip side the flip side was Karana
who was born can you imagine so so anything you know anything you use in our
life so so nowadays people talk about technology right we all have our
mobile phones devices Etc none of it comes without its flip side okay we see
that people's screen time so they are so everyone is getting so many benefits
using technology they are having this class because of Technology only but at
the same time it is this technology comes with its flip side correct it comes with
its own flip side where people get addicted to it spend so many hours on the
screen you know their sleep patterns get Disturbed and so on so anything
anything even nice in the world which you get you know something
which is very nice you like it that also has its own challenge okay so

2.4 Dasharatha and his sons

giving another example from the ramayan the story of the birth of the four sons
of dasharata okay so the Sarita had four Sons so they were all born at the same
time to his three queens of course Ram was Elder among them slightly bharata
was younger generally one will think that you know if when children are born in
your home then you are very happy and indeed the Sarita was happy but can
you imagine that even at the time of birth of his children had an anxiety in his
mind what was the anxiety the anxiety was that he had promised keiki's father
that he will make a son the king in future okay this was at the time when none of
the children were born and uh had no clue that Ram is going to be born in his
house as the son of his first wife kaushalia had given this promise at that time he
didn't think about the consequence but when all the children were born suddenly
he thought oh my God I gave a word to my father-in-law like his father that I will
make her son the king but Ram is indeed Elder among all of them not only his
Elder he's clearly uh you know as per his astrology charts and everything um
kind of uh the best among all the four so how is it possible that I will fulfill that
promise so can you imagine there are there is birth of children in your family it is
giving you pleasure at the same time it is giving some doubts and pain in
your heart so this is called any event in life it brings both sometimes right so it is
it's not good it's never going to be easy again if you

2.5 Gambling match

go to the Mahabharata the story of the gambling match gambling in itself you
know when you play dice I'm sure I mean we may not gamble per se as per but
I'm sure all of us would have played the game of ties sometimes so when you

7
throw dice it is basically don't go you don't know what's going to come and you
cannot imagine the consequence of that right and that's exactly what happened
to you this day he started playing the game of dice and they started putting so
many things as a bet and slowly but surely everything went away right uh but
then but but at each step in the game he was not it was not that this year was
exactly aware what's going to happen in the future he always had a hope I want
to get something back but it never happened okay eventually he he lost
everything right and uh so so this way if you see now if you see there is in in so
many stories that you know we read

2.6 Other examples – Shivaji maharaj, Vikram batra,

now let's come to some Modern Times political times to understand the
relevance of this topic so I want to begin with this as an example so if you take
medieval times if you take shivaji maharaja's history there is this famous story of
tanaji right when shivaji Maharaj asked tanaji to conquer this fort which is now
known as synagar Fort right and we all know that is actually busy with the
wedding of his son raiba okay so the point is there is so there are there is a
decision to be made are you going to continue with the wedding of your son
raiba if you do that then this project of winning pontana will get delayed and we
don't know what will happen when you delay too much sometimes some
decisions military decisions have to be done immediately to delay too much then
maybe the enemy will become more stubborn and it will become even more
difficult to win over pontana okay so but if you go to fight and try to obtain
pondana for back from the mughals uh from udayban who was stationed there
there is a likelihood that you can lose your life and when you lose your life you
may miss your son's wedding are you are you able to appreciate this point both
decisions you do this you do that you're again caught between a rock and a hard
place okay there is nothing that is uh that that's why it's actually difficult to
make decisions how they made decisions we will talk about it later but I hope
you are able to appreciate the Dondo or The Duality in tanaji's mind but but of
course he took a very straightforward decision saying that driver's betting can
wait I will go to fight pondana okay so please try to understand this is this this is
going to keep happening again and again so I was you know reading the life of
this Vikram batra you know who was one of the heroes in the Carrigan War if you
read his life you will see that uh when he was fighting that last battle of his life
there were some soldiers who were wounded who were far away from him okay
so he actually tried to save their life now now you just try to picture yourself in
Vikram batra's position it's very difficult to picture but try to imagine that uh you
know you're in a place and someone is injured some other Soldier is injured if
you help him if you try to help him there is a chance that you can also die but if
you don't help him and you just walk away from there protecting your life whole
life you can have a regret that array I could have helped my fellow Soldier but I
allowed him to die are you able to appreciate this point helping that wounded
soldier has a challenge the challenge is you can you also die not helping him has
also a challenge if you don't help him he will surely die but you may suffer if you
are a very uh conscientious Soldier you may suffer the pain in your heart
thinking that I could have helped my fellow Soldier but I did not and that pain
can overwhelm a very sincere Soldier right and we all know that Vikram batra
took the step of helping that Soldier he lost his life in the process right he was
shot at that particular time that's the story okay so this is caught between a rock
and a hard place

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it's a very difficult choice to make at that time because both options come with a
flip side okay so so that's why you will see sometimes that even great people in
their life also they take some decisions which apparently seem very difficult to
justify okay just like if you see shivaji Maharaj is going back to shivaji's times
took the step of raiding Surat if you know the story correct he raided Surat and
he and he and the maratha soldiers they looted the gold jewels everything from
the various merchants in Surah now many people today uh or many people
historians they sometimes feel that shivaji is such a nice King he's a very famous
dharmik Raja why did he do the act of uh looting a city so you need to
understand that see even a noble King sometimes has to take cruel decisions in
life it's it's not possible that you can be you know you can have you will do
everything that is perfect picture perfect in life you have to take some decisions
Which history may sometimes criticize you but at that time that is the right thing
to do since time you know they really needed wealth at that time so you may say
that array but then how can you loot like that so that looting which they did was
not did not become shivaji maharaja's habit they did that in one instance
because without that hindavi swaraj would have never got established okay so
they had to do that but at the same time they made some rules that okay we will
not kill anybody so on and so forth but looting they had to do because without
that they were at a serious disadvantage because without money they couldn't
continue their without wealth they couldn't continue their fight against the
Mughal Rule and if they had not fought then today perhaps you know India
wouldn't itself exist you know we would all be part of a large Pakistan only right
so so the point is that uh even sometimes a good person a good King has to take
decisions like these which seem very harsh or cruel because that is everything
comes with a flip side you can't be a king and think that you will only do goody
goody things you will have to take harsh decisions you will have to take
decisions that seem cruel you may have to take decisions that history may
criticize you for but there's no choice right so just like
even if you take today's India you know just imagine just hypothetically imagine
in in the if you are in the footstep of the Prime Minister of India or the
government how difficult it is to take these decisions just like India took the
decision of ensuring a complete lockdown during Corona was it an easy decision
I mean just think about it because they enforced a lockdown you know maybe
the spread of Corona at least got limited it's it was it was still progressing but
slowly it uh the corona was spreading but by that time the government could
come up with vaccination program Etc on the other hand that lockdown brought
so many challenges to people so many people had to walk distances right so
many people had so many challenges that decision came with the flip side but
still they they had to bite the bullet they took the decision okay or if you consider
the farmers protest and you know the bills with the farm laws that the
government undertook a couple years ago they did that with good intentions of
Market free economy Etc but then there was a backlash and the backlash was
such that it seemed that there can be so many security challenges to the country
because of which they would do it okay so we drew the bills okay so that
withdrawing also had some consequences even today if you see our agriculture
setup which is there it is caught up in some uh 19th century ideas which the
British had instituted in India okay so modernization has not been possible so
easily okay so this is a challenge anything you do there is a challenge you do it
there is a challenge you don't do it there's a challenge okay similarly like so
many marriages for example end in divorce so it's never an easy decision okay
so sometimes living with a person has some problems but then breaking the
marriage has a different set of problems which people aren't actually conscious

9
at that particular time right anyway so at this point I think I have given sufficient
examples to tell you that don't do or Duality is going to be part of our life in any
event now

3 Qualities in individual (Duality)

I want to bring you you bring your attention to another Point okay before we go
into the solution part that what about quality sometimes you know we are we
look for certain qualities in individuals so some qualities seem very attractive to
us let's say somebody is determined you know we generally glorify
determination as a very nice quality right he is determined in life that's
something great we may say but the point is the same determination can
sometimes become like stubbornness the determination that is the flip side of
determination okay determination is a very Noble quality but suddenly it could
appear as if this person's determination is more like uh stubbornness and and
stubbornness clearly isn't something great so what I want to say is even a good
quality can simultaneously have a flip side okay
like another good quality innocence like we all like people who are Innocent by
Nature simple and innocent we say oh this person is so simple and innocent yeah
right but then that innocence could also mean that that person is foolish it can
be exploited easily and so on that's a flip set of being innocent
on the other hand we say that somebody is very flexible in life so that's
something great but flexibility sometimes can mean very watered down as in no
principles only you know no firms stand on any issue so flexibility may seem
good at one level but the same flexibility can have a problem also so much so
the same
Love can translate into possessiveness or offense right like if you know in drama
in the story of when Ram is allured into the forest due to marriage the deer at
that time what happens is Sita so we know if you if you know the story uh you
know when Ram goes in search of that deer which Sita wanted Ram tells
lakshman to take care of Sita and when Ram goes behind the deer the deer who
is actually marriage and disguise when he's about to die he starts shouting in a
loud voice in the voice of ram okay so here Sita suddenly hears that Ram is
calling for lakshman so she tells lakshman that go and help him who's doing all
these tricks so so Sita at that time she starts speaking very very well words she
tells me and I know why you came to the forest in the first place you came with
us to the forest thinking that one day Ram will die and then you can enjoy me
but I'm not going to allow you to enjoy me I am going to immediately kill myself
he thought oh my God what are you talking you know I had no such intention I'm
not even thinking anything like that so the point is it was sita's love for Ram

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that made her offend the lakshmana right offend as in speak such things
to him okay so loud can be a very good quality but it can have a flip side okay so
the point I'm trying to say here is any good quality can also have a flip side right
so this is so so I I hope we have emphasized on this so now the solution the point
is

4 How to deal with Duality

I'll need another 10 minutes to complete okay so uh the first thing which Krishna
says is tolerate tolerate the flip side that means any quality any individual any
situation any decision in life will have a flip side and what do we need to do
tolerate it means you have to tolerate who cannot escape from right so so
basically most of the time life is about choosing the lesser of the two even so
please try to understand this so when we say means there is a flip side or there
are two options it doesn't mean that you can take any option and tolerate you
have to choose the lesser of the two units going back to arjuna's story you one
may say Okay fighting the war was painful for Arjuna giving up the war also
could have been more painful for Arjuna anyway Virginia has to tolerate only why
not give up the war and tolerate the answer is you have to choose the lesser of
the two units the lesser of the two evils is actually to fight the war okay and
tolerate fighting grandfather and teacher not fighting the war means for Arjuna
whole life is going to be criticized and scorned by people which would be more
painful so that is what Krishna is saying that means not fighting the God would
be a bigger evil for Arjuna than fighting them okay so this is what it means by
saying choosing the lesser of the two the lesser of the two evil goes to tolerate
the pain of having to kill your grandfather rather than tolerate the pain of being
insulted your whole life where people will call you covered okay so similarly in
every situation okay you have to choose between the lesser of two evils in life
more importantly there is something called path of Dharma which one has to
be conscious of now this Dharma itself is a very big term uh in fact we would
have a session or you know we will have to talk a lot about it but Dharma means
in short what I want to use it here is Dharma the right thing to do at
every step in life is called as them okay in any situation in life
there is something which is what is called as the right thing to do as per your
nature now going back to the story of Arjuna Arjuna is a chatriya he is meant to
rule he is meant to be part of politics he can't give that up and go to the forest
and sit okay so he has to choose the option which is in line with Dharma okay
and to and the option in line with his Dharma as a chatriya was to fight the battle
it was not a run away from the matter okay so that is why that option has to be

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chosen even if it is painful tolerated don't use the other option because that is
not in line with Dharma now if you go to Ram's example the choice of ram was
either to stay with your wife and Sita and he can be happy or he has to you know
sacrifice being with Sita but then that would help him being the king now the
point is for Ram at that point of time in his life the Dharma of being a king
became very important okay because that was a role he chose to take on when
he came to this world he had had a good time with Sita for so many years and he
would certainly love to have that as well but for a king his public life becomes
more important than private life so that becomes Dharma at that time similarly
for tanaji the Dharma towards shivaji Maharaj towards swarajya was higher and
more important than the marriage of his son the marriage of his son was a
personal matter driver's wedding okay but this was something that couldn't be
sacrificed so Dharma that means the more important among the two something
that will have larger consequence okay so that is how you are supposed to take
decisions yes either decision you take there is going to be something but choose
a decision which in the larger context of life is going to align with Dharma
similarly going back to shivaji maharaj's life attacking Surat would have certainly
got infamy or criticism but then if you don't attack Surah and you try to be
satyavadi Harish Chandra then it basically means you will never have any wealth
sufficient to fight the Morgans which basically means you have to give up your
dream of him which basically means that the mughals will take over everything
and that's it okay so some hard decisions have to be taken at that particular time
right so the lesson so at that time for shivaji Maharaj actually maybe you could
say that looting Surat was a lesser evil than not rooting although it seems how
can it be possible because if we did not then perhaps his whole swaraja would
have been finished at that time itself okay so so
the point is you deal with by choosing the lesser of the two evils but
thinking about consequences by thinking about which is more in line
with Dharma and
Dharma means what my own nature my contribution to the world the
world itself okay the bigger picture of you know my contribution to the
world Etc and how that is going to play out so these are some things
that one has to keep in mind when we are dealing with Duality

5 What if we don’t handle or take action

and this is going to apply in each of your legs at you know every step now one
may say okay what happens if I do not handle carefully okay so please try to
understand on one hand we must handle and if you don't there are some
problems first thing is you can become very frustrated or indecisive in life if you
don't know how to handle Duality that's exactly what was happening to Arjuna
he was getting very frustrated when he was standing over there when the war

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was about to begin thinking that how can I fight and that was leading to
indecision and uh this indecision or frustration in the worst case it can become
depression it can lead to suicidal thoughts and so on where a person thinks that
it's better to end my life and so many people if you see world over kill
themselves each day I'm sure as we were giving this talk today so many people
would have died by suicide in the world that is the way the statistics are right so
it basically means that there are so many people who are unable to handle the
pressure of the flip side of their decision and they end up being frustrated
depressed and taking away their life so this is

What happens when you are unable to handle duality

- you become very restless in your life and
- sometimes you get carried away by other strategy and decision making
process
please remember this was happening to Arjuna right if you go back to the story
of Arjuna Arjuna was thinking it is better to be like a Brahman in a forest rather
than a chatriya because he was thinking then I have to fight my grandfather but
if I live life like a Brahman I can nicely sit in the forest or you know I can be a
teacher I don't have to fight my grandfather but the point is that is another
person's strategy being a teacher has its own who cannot think that you will be
friends no because your nature is to be a chatriya you are as in in this case
arjuna's nature it is so he cannot get carried away by another fellow strategy in
decision making process similarly each of us you choose a particular career as
per your nature primarily not according to another's nature you can't think that
all other those job is so nice I'll take it no you may not be able to handle the
consequences of that right and

Another important thing is we if we are unable to enter we end up praying to

God to remove duality in our life instead of asking for strength to deal
with this thing okay so ideally our prayer to God should be please give me
strength to handle my challenges rather than asking God to rule challenge
because that's a foolish prayer it can never happen that

6 Conclusion

The Duality will go because the world is like these things keep coming right and
that brings us to the last point for the day okay so what is actually the take home
message okay so the first thing is taking decisions in life is always a challenge
for each of us because of this concept of duality it is always like that it's never
going to be easy it was never easy for Arjuna it is never easy for you and me

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ever right but still we have to take a decision because not taking a decision also
has its own set of consequences while taking decision okay so a relationship
somebody got married in every marriage there is going to be a problem it is
never going to happen that you know you get married to someone in life and
everything is good in that marriage but but it doesn't again mean that for petty
things or we forget to tolerate and for petty reasons one takes the path of
divorce okay if it is really unavoidable and if it is too painful that may be a
different thing but many times it is observed in society that even for petty issues
people they're separate without thinking about the consequence of Separation
okay so just like staying together as a consequence in a marriage separating also
as a consequence and not remaining marriage is not getting married also as a
consequence so each thing comes with a consequence so that is why the Gita
urges us to consider Dharma of the various roles we play okay so there
is something called Dharma every role we play as a Dharma as a king
Ram as a Dharma shivaji had a Dharma so we have to think about that because
that will help you I identify the bigger picture and no matter what never
forget to tolerate the consequences of your action your decision you
have to you cannot give up life you cannot you can nobody can be a coward right
uh becoming depressed thinking suicidal Etc you cannot do that you have to
tolerate learn to tolerate the consequences of action and the last
but most important one has to work towards becoming a yogi to fulfill one
spiritual purpose of it as in life has a very important purpose which is
basically the spiritual growth of the individual okay so human life is very
valuable because it is going to help you and me in our spiritual Quest and
everyone so so the Gita talks about this concept of becoming a yogi a yogi
means a spiritual Seeker because a spiritual practitioner and uh so our routine
life which is there
in our daily life if we are going to get too disturbed by it then we cannot
actually practice yoga you know because to be a yogi one needs to have
some stability of mind and body and such a stability cannot come if I
am going to get too overwhelmed and too affected by small small
things in life and if I don't tolerate it okay so so basically since life's bigger
purpose is the spiritual need of the person and I need to give that a priority I
have to understand that I have to tolerate whatever inconvenience is small or big
may come in my life and continue this fight

7 Question & Answer

okay so this is the first thing which I wanted to take which is related as I said to
Glenda right so at this point uh I I think I'm done I exceeded about 10-15 minutes
whatever I planned if anyone has any question you could actually raise your
hand and I can ask you to unmute and we could have a discussion anyone with
any question on this theme that we discussed uh yeah so yeah one second yes
yes can you hear me yes so first of all this is very app topic you have chosen and
it is like very realistic so I have a question like uh this dilemma comes into life
like every time for like small decisions and large decisions and when you said
that we have to think of a larger picture of life so at that time there comes like at
what time we should stop analyzing I mean there comes the picture of unknowns
like as we do more analysis of both like positives and negatives if when decision
and other decision uh as with keep one thinking the unknowns keep on reducing
but still there is a number that few unknowns will be there I mean if we like if we
take examples of example of origin like Gita itself that in the beginning he didn't

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know anything but as soon as uh that they keep on going increasing then he like
the nodes are getting reduced so if like if we relate to in our real life uh for any
particular decision then when is it the right time to um like take a decision and
stop analyzing and how many unknowns are good amount of Finance yeah yeah I
understood the point it's like this um taking a decision either way and remember
not taking a decision or postponing something is also a decision okay which has
its own consequence yeah I have to take an example I'll just say I don't know uh
I'll just take an example there's some hypocritical example I'll take to illustrate
the point let's say someone is thinking about marriage some XYZ person okay so
if you're thinking about marriage then let's say again there are two three things
whether to get married okay whether to get married right now or push it to
another two three years so that also becomes a decision correct either you get
married now that as a consequence if I postpone it has some consequences okay
if I post one indefinitely that is another set of consequences okay so the thing is
so so in this particular example of marriage itself and then again as proposals
come for a person for marriage so let's say someone is trying and arranged
marriage is registered on he or she has registered on some [Link] or
whatever so many proposals are coming each proposal will have a flip side right
because life is never going to be such that one proposal will have everything that
we ever dreamed of in life that is only a movie they show like that in real life it
will never happen every case that comes for a proposal that comes for marriage
comes with its own bag of plus and minus okay so the thing is okay right so it is
important certainly it is important to analyze okay certainly it is important to
analyze because one cannot simply jump in mindlessly like that but at the same
time how long okay so yes so depending on the particular Point under
consideration one may give a particular time for it okay so so when it is marriage
then yes one may take a couple of years maybe to decide who is whom should I
marry or whatever but some decisions have to be done very quickly imagine you
are applying for a job there are two jobs and you are getting both jobs and uh
you know you have to answer by Monday okay so today is Friday let's say or
today is Wednesday or something by Saturday you have to confirm whether
you're joining X company or Y company so there the window to analyze is less
okay so life is and for arjuna's case the window was even less everybody had
already come in the battlefield and the war is about to begin at that time this
guy is thinking whether I should fight or no so for him the window is even less he
cannot say that I will decide by tomorrow whether I want to fight yes you decide
in that next 10 minutes or whatever right either he fights or equates it's not that
he is even going to have two days so life is going to be such that for some events
you can analyze maximum 10 20 minutes half an hour like arjun's case some
decisions like job maybe you'll have a week to decide before you analyze and
come to the conclusion some other decisions like marriage maybe a person may
take one or two years to decide but again that cannot be that you are deciding
for one or two decades right so so my point is depending on the nature of that
event the amount of time available for us to analyze can vary from 10 minutes to
a couple of years or more or whatever right or it can even be more if you take
some other example okay but the point is there will be a a deadline okay
everything has a deadline it cannot happen that you are endlessly analyzing
because the thing is you're endlessly analyzing it means you are unconsciously
searching for a hypothetical ideal situation which never happens in the world
foreign so if somebody is analyzing some event or some decision Beyond a
particular amount of time that it should take it means that you are
subconsciously searching for an ideal that doesn't exist which is fundamentally a
problem which means that you are not willing to tolerate some gaps that will be

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there in every decision so that is why the tolerance becomes important okay any
job I take any husband or wife I get married to any uh you know any government
I have in the center everything will have some flip side some challenges with it
and that part I have to tolerate does that make sense yes yes totally like I have
one more follow-up question like for that uh so you have mentioned um The Evils
like the lesser of evils so like labeling something as an evil is also a relative term
I mean if we take example of switching a company or choosing between Ms or
MBA then like if we if we write down pros and cons then at that time what is an
evil so any points on that no no evil means the flip side we will use the negative
of that if you are going to switch a company see every company has an evil evil
as in something negative is there now and everything yeah yeah that's what I'm
calling as the even the evil is the negative thing or I would say the evil is also in
terms of the consequence in a larger sense if you go back to the situation will be
the king the king so both some evil is there correct the evil is pandavas have to
become king they have to kill bhishma in the order okay so that's like an evil you
can say because they were nice people but unfortunately they were on the
wrong side but if these fellows don't fight then Guru then will repent okay so
that's the point here so so even the other examples that I took everything has
some evil right the government decides Farm laws if the farm laws are
implemented not implemented there is because you are stuck in some old uh
100 year old system but if it is trying to implement it then people are afraid what
will happen is that so there is protest there are so many things okay so so it's
like that life is always like that whether it is an individual level or at Big level any
level it is like that yeah yes yes okay yeah yeah so who is that who yeah Anish
go ahead I think you can unmute yourself uh so so my question is uh you told us
to while dealing with uh we have to think of a bigger picture but uh I have a
question that how much bigger picture uh like in terms of this time of people we
have to think of like for example uh there are placements coming uh so you
don't take mock interview of cop students when companies going to come to vit
or uh when the interviews of 2023 batch we don't consider 2026 batch so while
thinking of the bigger picture uh like what should be the time as times or how
much people should we consider see I would put it like this since you took the
example of job I'll take that example only and tell you the bigger picture as in
let's say you have two career opportunities so basically it's I mean the whole
thing of Duality comes only when you have two options if you don't have two
options then Duality doesn't come into the picture but let's say there are two
types of jobs that you're about to get the bigger picture as in that case you have
to think which job is something which is more suitable to your own nature and
where you see a better long-term career path okay so please try to understand
in short term something may seem more nice so let's say one job is in your own
City or the city you like and another job is in some Far Away place which you
don't like to go okay but maybe that job has or or sometimes it also happens I'll
tell you honestly that some job offers more money but the role and the career in
it is not that great but another job may be offering slightly less money I have
seen like that sometimes there are companies that offer 15 lakhs some job but
that role isn't too good action but there's another company that may be offering
only 8 or 10 lakhs but sometimes a role can be very good the experience in that
can be very good right so one point I'm saying here is look at the bigger picture
now in this case because we are giving the example of company this is related
bigger picture is related only to your carrier that becomes the bigger picture it is
not you are not thinking about how the country or the world can be saved correct
so in this context the bigger picture becomes your career so you'll have to think
from the bigger picture perspective does that make sense yes yes I got it about

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the job but like uh about job we have uh like placement of a sauce for guidance
of for Arjuna to think of bigger picture there was Krishna but uh in some kind of
duels there is no one to guide us about the bigger picture we have to analyze on
our own itself so at that time how much bigger it's a good point good point
actually this is another important lesson we can take from today's message that
we should always have some people whom we can confide with and discuss our
problems I think that's very important Arjuna had Krishna we may not have krsna
himself but it may be our mother it may be a teacher it may be a mentor you
know a mentor or a coach is very important in life sometimes you need a coach
or a mentor yes sir no who can sometimes because what happens is when we
think ourselves at times it can happen that we don't think about the other side
very carefully a neutral Observer may be able to say better you know they say in
a neutral Empire third third Empire neutral Empire was then it doesn't belong to
both countries so he is able to take a more balanced uh he's able to give a more
balanced picture to the solution so I think it is important that all of a mentor or a
coach in our life and let me tell you that can even be your family member it can
be your mom it can be your dad it can be a brother it can be your neighbor it can
be someone who has uh who has some kind of maturity at least slightly more
than you and who can help you with the vision and if that person is in alignment
with Dharma that's even better like in this case Arjuna had Krishna who was you
know the best of all uh among dharmic people because he was Supreme Dharma
param Dharma right so because because then that person he's not only going to
give the bigger picture in terms of just money or something which again
becomes small in relation to life itself you know which where all aspects whether
it is as I was telling you in the last part of my session even spirituality uh is
something that that person may consider like that so a mentor or a coach always
helps that's my bottom okay okay any last question we'll take and then
something on the chat [Music] is there anything on chat okay okay so there's the
last question Anjali so with that Anjali we will stop yeah Anjali go ahead yeah sir
Emma audible yeah yeah very much yeah uh so so whenever we make a
decision let's say I have two choices and I I need to make a decision of choosing
one among them so um even after analyzing properly and you know after
making the right decision you will always have a regret of not making another
decision so how do we deal with that yeah and if you have the strong regret um
especially when things go wrong with another decision then um things have
been much better at this moment so how do you deal with that very good very
good yeah Anjali thank you for that very good point in fact that's exactly what
happens Arjun see at the end of hearing bhagavad-gita Arjuna decided he will
fight but do you think it was easy for him to kill bhishma in drona no it wasn't
repeatedly when he had to actually kill them he was crying again he was crying
not only in the beginning okay later also he was crying array why I had to do this
as you are saying you know why did I become a chatriya in the first place I
should have given up this profession long back how can I kill like this my
grandfather so my point is even when you take a decision that still remains in
your mind that array that option was there that option was there I could have
done that but then in arjuna's case he knew that he had to move on see that's
what life is you know you take a decision and you go ahead in that okay this
whole thing you you know this uh you first of all even practically most of the time
you cannot retract decisions made in life just like you have joined a college for
your joined the course okay now that you have joined a college it's not easy to
think that oh I could have gotten another college now you may say that okay I
can leave the college even after first year of engineering let us say and join
another College it's possible but then that comes with its own flip side you lose

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one year and so on and so forth so my point is um see see again this this is also
again happening sometimes because we are not tolerating these are all you
know the after effects in in one point I wish to tell you that because we are
unable to tolerate the consequence of our decision we are forced to think and
because of that what is happening your performance in the current option also is
reducing you know as in like you take a job or you join a college or you get
married and then you're thinking oh I had the other option also to get married
why did I marry this person okay what happens is you're not focusing in your
current relationship and unnecessarily you are thinking about something which is
now not existing only literally and then breaking this up and going to that other
decision is again very complicated and it comes with even bigger set of duality
so I think that you know uh decision making process ideally should be such at
least in major decisions in life where we we are you know able to move on with
the decision that we have taken and try to find newer options from that path so
let's say college or career you took one option later you may be thinking that oh I
should have taken another option now don't think about that rather think from
now how you will go to that as in you know how you will progress in a way which
will make life more meaningful so see at the at the last what I wish to say the
last point I wish to make certainly in Life One goal of life is to reduce Duality
please try to understand reduce Duality means what reduce the gap between
decision and consequence so that you are very comfortable with what you're
doing this is indeed a goal of life but practically Duality will never become zero it
can reduce that is life okay so as we go ahead in life we keep making Dynamic
decisions we need to see how it is so much in alignment with my nature that that
Gap is minimal so that's why you know the Gita focuses on some Concepts which
we're going to talk next week called Dharma means means take any decision
that is in maximum alignment with your nature so please try to understand as
Anjali you have a particular nature take decisions in life which is in alignment
with that because when you do that because any any activity that you do is in
alignment with your nature when you do that activity you don't feel so much
pressure are you understanding my points suppose let's say I like mathematics
and suppose my teacher is I choose mathematics as my major and my teacher
has given me 100 mathematics problems to solve but because I like
mathematics by my own nature solving 100 problems of mathematics is not a
pain in my neck because I like doing it so there is less don't do it you understand
but if I don't like mathematics only in the first place you know I like history and I
am forced to do mathematics because my father or mother told me to do it now
mathematics 100 problems yeah even 10 problems look like a big mountain
because it is not in line with my nature so one thing again the bhagavad-gita
teaches us is that we choose decisions in line with your nature and that your
nature is called swadharma that is also part of Dharma so if you remember I
mentioned earlier right take decisions in alignment with Dharma that Dharma is
not just some religion or something it is your so Dharma also that means your
own nature when you do that then at least that Gap will be less and when the
Gap is less tolerating becomes easy see even if I like mathematics if I have to
solve 100 100 problems of math every time I will not be very excited I may also
even as a mathematician I may get bold I may feel that I don't want to solve so
much but it is easy for me to tolerate it because it isn't my nature but if I am a
history person I like history only and I have to solve all this integration then then
the Gap becomes too much and then tolerating becomes almost impossible okay
so we have to also be realistic with thousands and tape decisions where our our
need to tolerate is within tolerable limits and not to the extent where it becomes
too difficult I hope that answers yes sir thank you okay thank you everyone we

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will meet tomorrow at eight o'clock we have our second session tomorrow we
have another topic called diversity which we will see tomorrow okay so I hope I
didn't uh I did exceed my time I thought I will cover in one hour but it I just
overshot okay thank you pretty much for your kind attention

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