SETTING THE LEADERSHIP STANDARD
8 Ways toWinWith People
How to Make People Feel Like a Million Bucks
Dr. John C. Maxwell Volume 9, Number 8
Winning With People Thesis: Most people can trace their successes and failures to the in their lives. The Five Levels of Relationships Level One: Level Two: Level Three: Level Four: Level Five: Are we prepared for a relationship? Are we willing to focus on others? Can we build mutual trust? Are we willing to invest in others? Can we create a win-win relationship?
MONTHLY MENTORING LEADERSHIP GROWTH SERIES
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The 25 People Principles THE READINESS QUESTION ARE WE PREPARED FOR A RELATIONSHIP? The How We See Others The Examine Is Ourselves Principle: Who We Are Determines Principle: The First Person We Must
The Principle: Hurting People Hurt People and Are Easily Hurt By Them The Principle: Never Use a Hammer to Swat a Fly Off Someones Head The Principle: We Can Lift People Up or Take People Down in Our Relationships THE CONNECTION QUESTION WE WILLING TO FOCUS ON OTHERS?
ARE
The Principle: The Entire Population of the World with One Minor Exception Is Composed of Others The Principle: Instead of Putting Others in Their Place, We Must Put Ourselves in Their Place The Principle: Each Person We Meet Has the Potential to Teach Us Something The Principle: People Are Interested in the Person Who Is Interested in Them
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The Principle: Believing the Best in People Usually Brings the Best Out of People The Principle: Caring for People Should Precede Confronting People THE TRUST QUESTION CAN WE BUILD MUTUAL TRUST? The Any Relationship Principle: Trust Is the Foundation of
The Principle: Never Let the Situation Mean More Than the Relationship The Principle: When Bob Has a Problem with Everyone, Bob Is Usually the Problem The Principle: Being at Ease with Ourselves Helps Others Be at Ease with Us The Principle: When Preparing for Battle, Dig a Hole Big Enough for a Friend THE INVESTMENT QUESTION ARE WE WILLING TO INVEST IN OTHERS? The Cultivation Principle: All Relationships Need
The Principle: Find the 1 Percent We Agree On and Give It 100 Percent of Our Effort The Principle: The Journey with Others Is Slower Than the Journey Alone
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The Principle: The True Test of Relationships Is Not Only How Loyal We Are When Friends Fail, But How Thrilled We Are When They Succeed The Principle: We Go to a Higher Level When We Treat Others Better Than They Treat Us THE SYNERGY QUESTION CAN WE CREATE A WIN-WIN RELATIONSHIP? The Help Ourselves Principle: When We Help Others, We
The Principle: All Things Being Equal, People Will Work with People They Like; All Things Not Being Equal, They Still Will The Principle: Working Together Increases the Odds of Winning Together The Principle: In Great Relationships, the Joy of Being Together Is Enough The differences between Winning With People and The 25 Ways to Win With People: WWP to understand people. to help you win with people. of
25 Ways WWP Is a
learning about others. 25 Ways Is an connecting with them. 4 of
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WWP Is a relationship book that requires . 25 Ways Is a relationship book that requires . WWP Will give you a with people. 25 Ways Will give you an with people. Good News: You can and the principles and practices of relating successfully with others! One Year Growth Plan for Developing Better Relationships with Others: 25 Weeks reading Winning With People: Take one week to read one People Principle and relate what you have learned to people you know. After 25 weeks you will have read and thought about all 25 People Principles. This will increase your relational understanding about yourself and others. 25 Weeks reading 25 Ways to Win With People: Take one week to read one way to win with people and practice it during that week. After 25 weeks you will read and practice the 25 Ways to Win With People. This will increase your relational skills with others. return return
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1. Let People Know You The greatest compliment that was ever paid to me was when someone asked me what I thought and attended to my answer. Henry David Thoreau I Have a Dream History tells us that in every age there comes a time when leaders must come forth to meet the needs of the hour. Therefore, there is no potential leader who does not have an opportunity to better mankind. Those around him also have the same privilege. Fortunately, I believe that God has surrounded me with those who will accept the challenge of this hour. My dream allows me to Give up, at any moment, all that I am in order to receive all that I can become. Sense the invisible so I can do the impossible. Trust Gods resources since the dream is bigger than all my abilities and acquaintances. Continue when discouraged, for where there is no faith in the future, there is no power in the present. Attract winners because big dreams draw big people. See myself and my people in the future. Our dream is the promise of what we shall one day be. Yes, I have a dream. It is greater than any of my gifts. It is as large as the world, but it begins with one. Wont you join me?
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When the dream is bigger than you, you really only have two choices: (1) (2) 1. People need to be 2. People need to 3. People need to know that they . they are needed. . , or
Good leaders make people feel that theyre at the very heart of things, not at the periphery. Warren Bennis 2. Create a and Visit It Memory is the treasury and guardian of all things. Cicero How to Make a Memory (1) Make Something Happen Its a poor sort of memory that only works backward. Lewis Carroll (2) (3) Set Aside Time to Make It Happen Plan For Something to Happen Most people dont lead their life, they accept their life.
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(4) (5) Happen Together Memories compound when you share them with someone you love. (6) Show That Something Happened Almost anything you do today will be forgotten in just a few weeks, says John McCrone. The ability to retrieve a memory decreases exponentially unless boosted by artificial aids such as diaries and photographs. (7) Talk About What Happened 3. Give Others a Find a Way to Make Something Happen Make Something
Treat a man as he appears to be and you make him worse. But treat a man as if he already were what he potentially could be, and you make him what he should be. Goethe How to Give Others a Reputation to Uphold (1) Have a of People.
Dr. J. Sterling Livingston, formerly of the Harvard Business School and founder of the Sterling Institute management consulting firm, observed, People perform consistently as they perceive you expect them to perform.
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(2) Back Up Your High Opinion of Others With . (3) Look Past their Past and Give Them a Reputation for Their .
(4) Give a Person a New Name or Nickname that Speaks of Their 4. Share a . with Someone Conceal a secret from your friend and you deserve to lose him. Portuguese Proverb A Sicilian proverb says, Only the spoon knows what is stirring in the pot. When you allow another person to know what is stirring within you, giving them a taste of a plan or idea, you instantly make a meaningful connection with them. Note: Sharing a secret with someone person in your journey. 5. Do for Others What They Cant Do for You have not lived today until you have done something for someone who can never repay you. John Bunyan (1) Introduce Others to on Their Own. They Cant Know that
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(2) Take Them to Their Own. (3) Offer Them Their Own. (4) Share With Others Possess on Their Own. Les Parrott: When you do something for others that they cant do for themselves, you are fostering a relationship with that person that is sure to be meaningful. Studies on what researchers call the self-determination theory have shown that supporting other peoples goals cements the relationship since you are ultimately helping them to align their goals with themselves. 6. Find the to Their Heart They Cant Go on They Cant Reach on They Dont
Coaches who can outline plays on a blackboard are a dime a dozen. The ones who succeed are those who get inside their players and motivate them. Vince Lombardi How to Find the Keys to Their Heart (1) Accept the Fact that People Are (2) Find the Keys to Their Heart By . .
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What do you about?
You can learn about peoples minds by looking at what they have already achieved, but to understand their hearts, look at what they dream of becoming. What do you about?
When you understand peoples pain, you cant help but to understand their heart. What do you about?
What brings people joy is often a source of their strength. What are your ?
When people give you access to their values, know that you have entered the most sacred chambers of their heart. What are your ?
Whatever people perceive as their strength makes their hearts proud. What is your ?
Learn that, and you often discover the way to their heart. (3) Establish Our English word communication comes from the Latin word communis, which means common. Effective leaders, communicators, and people persons always find something they have in common with the people they are speaking to. It is on common ground that they connect with others.
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7. Practice the -
The 30-Second Rule Within the first 30 seconds of a conversation, say something encouraging to a person. Suggestions for following the 30-Second Rule: (1) Give Others the Treatment. A A A A gossip is one who talks to you about A bore is one who talks to you about A brilliant conversationalist is one who talks to you about . (2) Remember that the 30-Second Rule Gives . (3) The 30-Second Rule Instills (4) Practicing the 30-Second Rule . . . .
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Benjamin Franklin realized this truth when he wrote the following note to John Paul Jones: Hereafter, if you should observe an occasion to give your officers and friends a little more praise than is their due, and confess more fault than you can justly be charged with, you will only become the sooner for it, a great captain. Criticizing and censuring almost everyone you have to do with will diminish friends, increase enemies, and thereby hurt your affairs. Those who add to us, . Those who make us feel less, . (5) Spend Time Creating an Encouraging Thought for Everyone You Know. Every time before I meet with people, I pause to think about something encouraging I can say to them. This practice isnt complicated, but it does take some time, effort, and discipline. And the reward for practicing it is huge. Too many people, when in the presence of others, search for ways to make themselves look good. The key to the 30-Second Rule is reversing this practice. When spending time with people, search for ways to make them look good.
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8. of Encouragement The power of words is immense. A well-chosen word has often sufficed to stop a flying army, to change defeat into victory, and to save an empire. Emile De Girardin Why Write Notes of Encouragement (1) Encouraging Notes Have a . (2) Notes Represent an by the Writer.
In his book, The Power of Encouragement, my friend David Jeremiah says, Written encouragement comes directly from the heart, uninterrupted and uninhibited. Thats why its so powerful. Havent you known that to be true? Nineteenth century writer Walt Whitman struggled for years to get anyone interested in his poetry. He became very discouraged. Then he received a note that read: Dear sir, I am not blind to the worth of the wonderful gift of Leaves of Grass. I find it the most extraordinary piece of wit and wisdom that America has yet contributed. I greet you at the beginning of a great career. It was signed by Ralph Waldo Emerson. (3) Notes Are Them. Long After the Writer Has
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Dr. John C. Maxwell and Dr. Les Parrott have joined together to author 25 Ways to Win With People. Each brings his own unique perspective to winning with people one as a seasoned communicator and leadership authority, the other as a professor of psychology and relationship expert. Dr. Maxwell shares practical examples of how he wins with people in everyday life. Dr. Parrott backs up those insights with evidence from recent psychological research. Together, they show how anyone can win with people by making others feel like a million bucks.
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Answers: Relationships; Readiness; Connection; Trust; Investment;
Reward; Lens; Mirror; Pain; Hammer; Elevator; Big Picture; Exchange; Learning; Charisma; Number 10; Confrontation; Bedrock; Situation; Bob; Approachability; Foxhole; Gardening; 101 Percent; Patience; Celebration; High Road; Boomerang; Friendship; Partnership; Satisfaction; Principles; Practices; Lifetime Process; Immediate Action; Study; Practice; Lifetime; Immediate; Learn; Teach; Need Them; Give Up; Get Help; Needed; Know; Helped; Memory; Often; Initiative; Time; Planning; Creativity; Shared Experiences; Mementos; Re-live the Memory; Reputation to Uphold; High Opinion; Action; Future; Potential; Secret; Includes; Themselves; People; Places; Opportunities; Ideas; Keys; Different; Asking Questions; Dream; Cry; Sing; Values; Strengths; Temperament; Common Ground; 30-Second Rule; Triple A; Attention; Affirmation; Appreciation; Others; Himself; Yourself; Energy; Motivation; Helps You; Draw Us To Them; Cause Us To Withdraw; Write Notes; Personal Touch; Investment; Remembered; Forgotten
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