Exposed

Posted originally on the Archive of Our Own at [Link]

Rating: Mature
Archive Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Category: Gen
Fandoms: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man - All Media Types
Relationships: Peter Parker & Tony Stark, Avengers Team Members & Tony Stark
Characters: Tony Stark, Peter Parker, Steve Rogers, Clint Barton, Natasha Romanov
(Marvel), Thor (Marvel), Bruce Banner, Pepper Potts (mentioned)
Additional Tags: Post-Movie: Avengers: Infinity War (2018), Tony Stark Acting as Peter
Parker's Parental Figure, Dead Peter Parker, Pre-Avengers: Endgame
(Movie), Canon Compliant, Angst, Hurt No Comfort, Warning: So much
angst I cried writing it, Tony Stark Loves Peter Parker, Post-Thanos's
Snap (Marvel), Not Clint Barton Friendly, Tony Stark Needs a Hug,
Tony Stark-centric, Not Civil War Team Captain America Friendly, only
cause it's from tony's perspective
Language: English
Series: Part 1 of Post IW Angst
Stats: Published: 2024-02-22 Words: 1,404 Chapters: 1/1
 Exposed
by Multi_Fandom_Feels

Summary

"You lost nothing. I lost everything, everyone. You have no reason to be moping around like
you’ve lived through tragedy.” Clint said, anger and envy dripping from his every word.

Tony looked up, pain and anger burning in his eyes. “You have no idea what I lost.”

When Clint returns to the compound after the Snap, tensions are high. Tony is grieving, and
no one knows why. No one knows what Tony lost that day, and Clint takes an issue with
Tony.

Notes

This takes place after that scene when Tony and Nebula get back from space but before Tony
and Pepper move to the lake house, in case it isn't clear

See the end of the work for more notes

He’d scrubbed his hands, over and over and over, but he couldn’t get rid of the feeling of the
dust in his skin, under his fingernails. It felt like Titan had followed him home, and wouldn’t
leave. The orange of the clouds haunted his mind, the browns and blacks of the landscape
haunted his nightmares.

At least May was also dusted, he thought. He didn’t think he could’ve handled telling her
what happened to her nephew. Then he cursed himself, because what kind of sick thought
was that?

He thanked his lucky stars (ha) that Pepper and Rhodey were alive. They were his lifeboat in
the ship wreckage his life had become. He knew the rest of the team didn’t understand his
actions. None of them knew what he’d lost, and Tony wasn’t inclined to share.

Clint had arrived last night, but Tony had only spared him a quick hello. He couldn’t bear to
look into the eyes of his old teammates, not anymore. Unfortunately for him, Cap wanted
them to meet to discuss their options moving forward. Pepper practically had to force him out
of bed to go to the meeting.

As Tony walked the halls of the compound, he couldn’t help but remember the memories that
seemed carved into every wall. Memories of a time long past, when he could rely on and trust
every single member of the team, no matter what. When he had a family beyond him, Pepper,
and Rhodey. He could see the team dinners in every table, the movie nights in every couch,
and family in every old photograph he hadn’t had the strength to take down, even after
Germany and Siberia.

He took a deep breath before walking into the conference room, the long table seeming
empty compared to years past. With a strange sense of déjà vu, he sat on Cap’s right like he
had for many years. Steve was sitting at the head of the table, as he always had. On his left
was Natasha. Next to Nat was Clint, and on Tony’s other side was Bruce. Next to him was
Thor. The similarities ended there. Long gone were the days of Clint’s teasing jokes, of
Thor’s weird Asgardian mannerisms, of Natasha’s soft laughter. Gone was Cap’s strong but
kind leadership, of Bruce’s science anecdotes during meetings, and his own immature jokes.
Everything was different, yet the same.

“Thank you for joining us, Tony.” Steve said, and Tony didn’t have the energy to decide if the
comment was malicious or simply a greeting. It didn’t matter to him either way. He nodded
his acknowledgement, but didn't speak a word. He could feel multiple sets of eyes on him,
but he didn’t bother to see whose.

Cap began to drone on and on, repeating information that was already seared into Tony’s
brain. The numbers lost, the crumbling infrastructure, and countless other anecdotes of the
Decimation. Tony zoned out, hardly present in his own life. (He was like that a lot these
days.)
“-ony? Tony!” He snapped to attention, Cap calling his name.

“Yeah? What?” He said, eyes unfocused and bleary.

“Did you hear any of what I just said?” Steve replied.

“No.” Tony didn’t have the heart for a witty comeback.

Steve sighed with disappointment. (At least that wasn’t new.) “I was asking if you had any
ideas. Anything, at all. I know you’re grieving, we all are, but we can’t just sit back and let
this happen.”

As Tony was about to reply that, no, he did not have any ideas, when Clint scoffed.

“Something to add, Barton?” Tony said.

“Yeah, actually, I do. Why do you get a pass to mope around while we’re all trying to figure
out a way to undo this? Pepper lived. Rhodey lived. You lost nothing . I lost everything,
everyone. You have no reason to be moping around like you’ve lived through tragedy.” Clint
said, anger and envy dripping from his every word.

Tony looked up, pain and anger burning in his eyes. “You have no idea what I lost.”

Barton scoffed. “Really? I lost all three of my kids. You don’t even have one to lose.” He said
with a sneer as he stood from his chair, hands planted on the table.

“Clint!” Natasha said, her tone shocked. There was a warning in her eyes, but Clint ignored
it.

“What? Nat, I’m not gonna let him off the hook. He’s pouting around like he’s lost someone.
He has no reason to act like this, and frankly, it’s insulting. Tell me, Stark, while the rest of
them were fighting for their lives, fighting for Vision’s life, what were you doing up in space?
Huh? You did nothing .”

Nat turned to him, fire in her eyes, ready to defend him. As she was about to speak, he
interrupted. “No, Nat. Stop.” Tony’s eyes were pointed down at the table, so he didn’t see her
reaction, but she didn't speak. “Thanos was on Titan, before he went back down to Wakanda.
He creamed my face with a goddamn planet.” He paused, sucking in a breath. “Tell me, when
your family disappeared, Clint, what was it like? Physically, what was it like?”

“I turned around for a moment, and when I looked back, they were dust in the air.”

“He was enhanced. He felt his body be torn, atom from atom.” Tony said, voice shaking with
tears. “No one else felt when they were dusted, but he did. He felt his healing factor try to
stitch himself back together. He knew he was going to die, and he turned to me and told me
he didn’t want to go, that he didn’t understand what was happening to him. He died, in my
arms, asking me to save him. Begging me to save him, and I couldn’t do a damn thing. I had
to watch the boy I loved as my own, die, because of me.
“To everyone else, he was Spider-Man, but to me, he was Peter. Nerdy, little Peter Parker.
Who loved having lab days with me after school. Who’d leave me voicemails after every
patrol, telling me about the people he helped. Peter, who I loved. And he trusted me, he
followed me to space , and I got him killed. He died, and I couldn’t do a damn thing to help
him, no matter how much I wanted to. Tell me, Clint.” Tony said, tears flowing freely, voice
shaking as he stood to stare Clint in the eyes.

“Did you see the fear in your son’s eyes as he felt himself die ? Did you see the pain in his
eyes as his body fell apart? Did you hear him say, ‘I’m sorry,’ as he died, because he knew
you’d blame yourself for it?” The room was quiet, and no one said a word. “I didn't think so.
Don’t talk to me about loss, Barton. Don’t talk to me about pain. You might’ve lost everyone,
but you can’t begin to feel my pain.”

Clint looked taken aback. “Tony, I’m sorry. I didn’t-”

“Save it. I don’t want to hear it.” Tony left, the door closing behind him the only sound in the
deadly quiet room.

They sat in silence for a moment, absorbing what they’ve just heard, until Natasha spoke up.
“Spider-Man was a kid. He was Tony’s kid.” She brought a shaking hand to cover her mouth,
tears threatening to spill. “He watched his kid die .” She turned on Clint, hurt and fire in her
eyes. “And you made him relive that.”

“Nat, I didn’t know.”

“You didn’t need to know. Tony didn’t owe an explanation to you, but you’re so in your own
head that you didn’t give a damn. He told you to back off, and you kept pushing. What the
fuck, Barton?” She said, using his last name. She hadn’t done that in a very long time. Not
like this.

“Nat, I’m sorry. I don’t know what else to say. I fucked up, I know.” He said, hoping to quell
her growing anger.

“Do you?” She said, before following after Tony and leaving the room. When he looked for
sympathy in the eyes of the others, he found none.
End Notes

There will be a part two to this, but I'm not really sure when. Might be a while.

Have a good day/night/afternoon/morning/existential crisis :)

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