Emerging from the Daddy Issue:

A Phenomenological Study of the Impact of the Lived Experiences of Men Who

Experienced Fatherlessness on Their Approach to Fathering Sons

A Dissertation

Submitted to the Faculty

of

Drexel University

by

David Ricardo Inniss

in partial fulfillment of the

requirements for the degree

of

Doctor of Education

October 2013
 © Copyright 2013
David Ricardo Inniss. All Rights Reserved
 Abstract

Emerging from the Daddy Issue:

A Phenomenological Study of the Impact of the Lived Experiences of Men Who

Experienced Fatherlessness on Their Approach to Fathering Sons

David Ricardo Inniss, Ed.D.

Drexel University, October 2013

Chairperson: W. Edward Bureau

Perceptions about fatherhood and the importance of the father role have changed
significantly over time. This phenomenological study explored how experiences of father
absence or paternal apathy impact behaviors among men and exert influence over their
ability to effectively father their sons. It examined participants’ views on the meaning of
transitioning to manhood in a father-absent household, the intersection between
fatherhood and masculinity, and the impact of their history of fatherlessness on their
approaches to fathering. The researcher drew on the phrase “Daddy Issue” to describe
the “lack of emotional and psychological balance” (Gibbs, Blackman, Painton, &
Willwerth, 2007, p. 3) and depression of cognitive performance (Chapman, 1977)
associated with the experience of fatherlessness, the abuse of a paternal relationship, or
paternal undependability.
Existing studies on fatherlessness are predominantly quantitative with few
qualitative studies investigating outcomes of resiliency and restoration of those who
experienced fatherlessness. The researcher’s worldviews as a pragmatist, social
constructivist, and advocate (Creswell, 2007) place importance on the youth experience
that may shape men’s adult lives. The thoughts and feelings of 36 adult males were
evaluated through the theoretical lens of Paternal Involvement, the Masculinity-
Fatherhood Linkage, and Resilience.
Thirteen of those men participated in semi-structured individual interviews, while
24 participated in two separate focus groups. Analysis of the data captured yielded
thematic clusters that led to textural descriptions of participants’ experiences. From these
textural descriptions, a structural description of the essence of fathering sons after
experiencing fatherlessness was derived. The key findings in this study centered on the
modeling of fatherhood, the perceived impacts of father absence, beliefs about the
transition to manhood, the intersections between masculinity and fatherhood, and the
pursuit of emotional closure. These findings were the foundation of practical
recommendations as well as suggestions for future exploration into tangential
phenomena.
This Ed.D. Dissertation Committee from The School of Education at Drexel University
certifies that this is the approved version of the following dissertation:

Emerging from the Daddy Issue:

A Phenomenological Study of the Impact of the Lived Experiences of Men Who

Experienced Fatherlessness on Their Approach to Fathering Sons

David Ricardo Inniss

Committee:

____________________________________
Dr. Ed Bureau

____________________________________
Dr. Holly Carpenter

____________________________________
Dr. Michael Marion

____________________________________
Date
 Dedication

This work is dedicated to my sons, Jalen Omari Hinman-Inniss and Nico Ajani
Khalil Hinman-Inniss. Upon your birth, I wrote a personalized father-son contract
outlining all I committed to being for you. My only prayer is that I fulfill these words to
you and that someday you will grasp the extent of my efforts to provide you with a model
worthy of emulation.

This work is also dedicated to Louis Wardell Johnson, my father-in-law, who

passed away before he could witness the completion of this research and the only man to
ever hug me and utter the words, “You have done well, Son!”
Finally, this work is dedicated to the boys and men who are still dealing with the
aftereffects of paternal abandonment or paternal apathy. My only hope is that this work
may alter the course of life for one fatherless boy that he may someday stand up and
declare that fatherlessness in his family will stop at him!

iv
 Acknowledgements

I would like to first thank my immediate family: my mother Melanese Lashley,

Akwai, Clarissa, Jalen, and Nico. The irony of this research was in the guilt I felt being
pulled away to study or write. Thanks for your patience, tolerance, and unconditional
support.
To my close network of childhood friends who continued to check in with me
throughout this journey: Corrie, Allan, Randy, Kevin, Samora, and Brian. Words cannot
express the value I place on your friendship and continued encouragement. I would also
like to thank Dr. Addie Lucille Ellis for first leading the way and showing how this
journey is navigated gracefully. Your willingness to read or re-read drafts and your
contributions in pushing me through the valleys that inevitably came did not go
unnoticed.
A special acknowledgement is reserved for my dissertation committee Dr. Ed
Bureau, Dr. Holly Carpenter, and Dr. Michael Marion for your encouragement and for
holding the standard high. Dr. Bureau, thank you for matching my intensity and then
some. Your willingness to listen and your “do-whatever-it-takes” attitude were
inspirational.
To Claudia Dias, I refer to you as my Life Advisor. You believed in me when I
was at my lowest low and you practically saved my life. Your legacy in this city is
immeasurable. Thank you!
I would also like to thank all the participants in this study who really displayed
strength through their vulnerability. The candor and richness of the way you described
your experiences were nothing short of amazing.
Finally, I would like to acknowledge Winston Carlisle Inniss, my father and the
person who imbedded in me a burning desire to better understand the complexities of
fatherhood. This study has given me more understanding of your journey and for that
reason alone, it was a success. My only prayer is that it is the first of many steps toward
the emotional closure that, like the participants in this study, I seek.

v
 Table of Contents

ABSTRACT ....................................................................................................................... iii

LIST OF FIGURES ......................................................................................................... viii

1. INTRODUCTION TO THE RESEARCH ....................................................................1

Introduction to the Problem ...........................................................................................1

Statement of the Problem to be Researched ..................................................................6

Purpose and Significance of the Problem ......................................................................6

Research Questions Focused on Solution Finding ......................................................11

The Conceptual Framework .........................................................................................11

Definition of Terms......................................................................................................17

Assumptions and Limitations ......................................................................................19

Summary ......................................................................................................................20

2. LITERATURE REVIEW ............................................................................................22

Introduction to Chapter 2 .............................................................................................22

Literature Review.........................................................................................................27

Summary ......................................................................................................................72

3. RESEARCH METHODOLOGY.................................................................................76

Introduction ..................................................................................................................76

Research Design and Rationale ...................................................................................77

Site and Population ......................................................................................................80

Research Methods ........................................................................................................82

vi
 Ethical Considerations .................................................................................................89

4. FINDINGS, RESULTS, AND INTERPRETATIONS ................................................92

Introduction ..................................................................................................................92

Findings......................................................................................................................102

Results and Interpretations .........................................................................................176

Summary ....................................................................................................................186

5. CONCLUSIONS AND RECOMMENDATIONS ....................................................187

Introduction ................................................................................................................187

Conclusions ................................................................................................................189

Recommendations ......................................................................................................204

Summary ....................................................................................................................212

LIST OF REFERENCES .................................................................................................214

APPENDIX A: INDIVIDUAL INTERVIEW PROTOCOL ...........................................226

APPENDIX B: CONSENT TO TAKE PART IN A RESEARCH STUDY ...................228

APPENDIX C: FOCUS GROUP PROTOCOL ..............................................................233

vii
 List of Figures

1. Annotated conceptual framework ................................................................................14

2. Conceptual framework .................................................................................................27

3. A heuristic model of fatherhood by Cabrera et al (2007) ............................................38

4. The resiliency model ....................................................................................................70

5. Focus group participant demographics ......................................................................102

6. Inductive analysis of codes to derive horizons and themes .......................................103

7. Participants’ relationship with sons’ mother..............................................................116

viii
 1

Chapter 1: Introduction to the Research

Introduction to the Problem

As of 2011, approximately 24.7 million children, the equivalent of 33% of all

children living in the United States, resided in homes without their biological father. Of

these 24.7 million, 20.3 million resided in homes without any male figures—biological,

adoptive, or step—in the home at all (National Fatherhood Initiative, 2011b). In African

American families, 57.2% of children are in father-absent households – compared with

30.3% of Hispanic children, 21.6% of Caucasian children, and 12.3% of Asian children

(U.S. Census Bureau, 2005).

Perceptions about the father role have changed significantly over time. In the pre-

19th century era, fathers were the primary parent and served as “the provider, moral

guide, disciplinarian, companion, and teacher in the family unit” (Nord, West, &

Brimhall, 1997, p. 3). The urbanization and industrialization that characterized the 19th

century generated several dramatic shifts in how fathers and fatherhood as a whole were

perceived. Gibbs, Blackman, Painton, and Willwerth (2007) referred to the 19th century

as the era most responsible for the “marginalization of the father as a parent” (p. 2). Two

centuries later, contemporary research acknowledges the role of father as one of the

world’s most important leadership roles in the world (Rohner & Veneziano, 2001). Its

importance has re-emerged in spite of the historical misrepresentation of fatherhood and

anti-father rhetoric that infiltrated the discourse in American culture and institutions

(Gibbs et al., 2007).

 2

Industrialization created a major shift in work demands outside the home for

men. As a negative consequence, the role of father as the primary parent suffered.

Fathers were relegated to arbiters of discipline within the family (Pleck, 1998) and the

paternal role was increasingly viewed as “the chairman of the board…of the enterprise

called the family” (p. 355). Fathers’ disconnection with the family unit was manifested

through both physical separation due to employment obligations and reduced time spent

parenting. The separation, coupled with the burgeoning perception of the father role as

that of family breadwinner created a family situation conducive to the rise of paternal

apathy—a scenario in which the father is physically and financially present but

emotionally absent to his children.

Perceptions about the role of father continued to shift throughout the 20th century.

The post-industrial and post-world war periods were marked by worldwide economic

phenomena like globalization and increased flow of information on an international scale.

In the 1970s, 1980s, and 1990s, the importance of the father as the purveyor of “dutiful

bread-winning” (Gillis, 2000, p. 231) resurged. These periods also evoked the social

construction of a non-familial, transnational, business-focused masculinity. Through this

new, pervading view of masculinity, a declining importance was placed on the role of

fathers. Men were increasingly egocentric and demonstrated a declining sense of

responsibility (Connell, 1998).

The declining perceptions about fatherhood and paternal responsibilities were

reflected in the body of research conducted during the latter two decades of the 20th

century. At this time, much of the research focused on the development and well-being

of children. Initially, disproportionate attention was placed on the dynamics of the

 3

maternal relationship with little attention paid to the relationship between fathers and

their children. The near omission of issues related to fatherhood reflected a research bias

that mirrored perceptions about the relative roles of mothers and fathers. The paternal

role had declined to the point where fathers, by the turn of the 21st century, were

considered to be peripheral, with little or no bearing on child development (Lamb, 1997).

By the turn of the 21st century, stimulants for deeper research into the roles of

fathers surfaced. Increased participation of women in the work force, along with

pervasive viewpoints about father-absence and its role in societal moral decay (Gillis,

2000) resulted in burgeoning literature as the 20th century closed and the 21st century

commenced. Early research resulting from the increased scrutiny took on a rather binary

view of fathering and posited that fathers were either good or bad (Furstenburg, 1985).

Moreover, the initial exploration of father issues levied a disproportionate amount of

attention toward negative examples of fatherhood, father-absence, and the popularized

notion of the deadbeat dad (Gillis, 2000).

The increased focus on the nuances of fatherhood was further emphasized when

President William Clinton issued an executive memorandum emphasizing the importance

of fatherhood programs, policies, and research among government agencies (Clinton,

1995). Fatherhood studies circa 1995 revealed compelling correlations between father

absence and financial stability (U.S. Census Bureau, 2003), substance abuse (U.S.

Department of Health and Human Services [DHHS], 1993), emotional health (Gong-

Soog & White-Means, 1993), educational achievement (Sandefur & Sandefur, 1994),

involvement in crime (DHHS, 1988), and pre-mature exposure to sexual activity (DHHS,

1988). With time, more sophisticated studies on the negative consequences of

 4

fatherlessness surfaced, providing greater support for the assertion that father absence

was related to poor educational performance, early childbearing, and unemployment

(National Center for Fathering, 2007; National Fatherhood Initiative, 2011a). The beliefs

that fathers were necessary to avoid such consequences and that “fathers…contributed to

the development of their children in a unique way” strengthened and became known as

the essentialist view of fatherhood (Marsiglio & Pleck, 2005, p. 252).

Blankenhorn (1995) was one of many authors who took an essentialist stance and

attributed much of societal moral decay to the issue of fatherlessness. He described

fatherlessness as a “harmful demographic trend” that drove the “most urgent social

problems, from crime to adolescent pregnancy…to domestic violence against women” (p.

1). Blankenhorn (1995) predicted a post-2000 American society in which working adults

would be classified into two divergent groups along the lines of patrimony—the fathered

and the fatherless. The former group consists of those who grew up with the “daily

presence and provision of a father” (Blankenhorn, 1995, p. 2). They possess the benefits

of psychological, social, economic, educational, and moral preparedness. On the other

hand, members of the latter group demonstrate a paucity of development in these areas.

The disadvantages believed to be encountered by the patrimonial have-nots spurred the

emergence of fatherlessness as an issue of equity (Blankenhorn, 1995). Several scholars

scrutinized the stance taken by Blankenhorn, challenging his narrow definition of father-

absence as a purely physical concept (Marsiglio & Pleck, 2005). His disregard for

psychological father-absence also constituted a major flaw upon which social scientists

and child development intellectuals placed significant criticism. Other researchers

further refuted the studies upon which essentialist claims were rooted, asserting that
 5

simplistic comparisons between father-absent and father-present groups without

accounting for the effects of other circumstances only served to trivialize a rather

complex issue.

The increased volume of research into topics of fatherhood that occurred in the

late 1990s continued into the early 2000s. However, as the body of research grew and

policy implications became more apparent, concern with the phenomenon of

fatherlessness reached parity with that of fatherhood itself. Marsiglio and Pleck (2005)

emphasized the need for continued attentiveness among the research community on “the

social construction of knowledge about fathering” as a means of further “promoting

father-relevant social policies” (p. 250).

For the purpose of this study, fatherlessness is defined as a combination of

physical and emotional distance between fathers and children. Such distance results from

a continuum of paternal behaviors ranging from paternal apathy – which creates

emotional distance from children – to outright paternal abandonment, which combines

physical and emotional distance between a father and child. In this investigation, an

individual is considered to have experienced fatherlessness if one’s father was

emotionally and physically absent for five or more years when the individual was

between the ages of 8 and 16. Exposure to fatherlessness is a human experience with a

highly personal impact on individuals regardless of race or socioeconomic class,

ultimately affecting their ability to father. The personal impact is often lost in the

shadows of the consequences of fatherlessness primarily considered on a macrolevel.

Indeed, some researchers still question whether the criticality associated with father-

absence is warranted, asserting that it was merely a reflection of the historically cyclical
 6

changes to the role of men in the family (Gillis, 2000). Regardless of the macro

consequences, numerous men are products of father-absent households. Despite their

experiences, they must still navigate the many complex dimensions of being an adult,

being a father, and being male in a highly demanding society.

Statement of the Problem to be Researched

The experience of fatherlessness among men generates highly differentiated

behaviors that exert influence over their ability to effectively father their sons and halt the

generational perpetuation of fatherlessness.

Purpose and Significance of the Problem

The following segments describe the purpose statement driving this study and the

significance of the problem of fatherlessness.

Purpose Statement

The purpose of this phenomenological study was to explore the lived experiences,

attitudes, and perceptions about masculinity and fatherhood among men who experienced

father-absence. The investigation sought to understand how these experiences enabled or

hampered the participant’s ability to break trends of father-absence in their family. It

pursued broad, deep inquiry into the lives of unfathered men, some of whom appeared to

have risen above the negative outcomes typically associated with not having a father and

others who have struggled to cope with the consequences of father-absence in their lives.

An analysis of factors like participant career progression, educational achievement,

familial stability, emotional closure, and active fathering may provide insight into the

lives of men who experienced father-absence. This study also explored the attitudes and
 7

activities impacting the development of men who experienced fatherlessness into

models of effective fathering and positive male citizenship (Renshaw, 2005) for their

sons.

Significance of the Problem

Paternal modeling is critical in teaching boys and young men the behaviors

necessary for good fathering and responsible male citizenship in society (Renshaw,

2005). Men who experienced father absence lack such modeling and are prone to

negative effects ranging from external behavioral impacts manifested in the form of anger

and violence to internal impacts in the form of depression, low self-esteem, and lack of

self-assurance. Renshaw (2005) suggested that the father-son bond is one that has been

“neglected, understudied, and often undervalued” (p. 7), with the father role being “rarely

consciously taught by a father to a son” (p. 7). Such father-son modeling requires almost

daily interaction and close observation of both positive and negative behaviors.

(Renshaw, 2005).

Successful emergence from the plight of living without a father or living with

poor paternal relationships benefits the subject and also has significant impact on future

generations. The “reproduction of fatherhood” (Townsend, 1998, p. 363) is a concept

suggesting that fathers typically father in the way they were fathered. In other words, the

model of fathering or the lack thereof to which an individual is exposed can significantly

impact the type of father they themselves become; this is a crucial concept supported by

numerous other authors. The lack of a father creates a “hole in the soul” (Jampolsky &

Jampolsky, 1996, p. 85) – a yearning for the absent father that impacts every aspect of a

man’s life (Jampolsky & Jampolsky, 1996). Often, men who experience life without a
 8

father attempt to address this by placing extreme effort into trying to be different from

their fathers. Invariably, they attempt this with little success. As a result of the

“reproduction of fatherhood” (Townsend, 1998, p. 363), failure to address this “hole in

the soul” (Jampolsky & Jampolsky, 1996, p. 85) may result in the transference of

negative outcomes to the lives of those in subsequent generations.

Most of the literature to date focuses solely on the numerous negative outcomes

originating from father-absence (Larcher, 2007). Researchers in various disciplines such

as psychology, sociology, ethnic studies, education, and anthropology have contributed to

the contemporary assertion that fatherhood is an essential subsystem of the family and of

society as a whole. As alluded to earlier, much of the existing research on fatherlessness

emphasizes the hopelessness and despair associated with father-absence. The body of

research is somewhat skewed toward quantitative studies from which generalizations are

made about fatherlessness as it relates to crime; violence; social, cognitive, and emotional

impairment; and sexual promiscuity (Larcher, 2007). Notwithstanding the potential for

tragic outcomes from paternal absence, relatively few studies have discussed outcomes of

resiliency and restoration of those who successfully emerged from the grip of

fatherlessness to become models of male citizenship. One does not have to look very far

to find numerous examples of men who have beat the proverbial odds and have risen to

levels of prominence and notoriety despite their experiences with paternal absence.

President Barack Obama and former President William Clinton are two of the more well-

known examples, but there are numerous others who succeeded in turning around the

potential catastrophe of the unfathered experience into lives generally accepted as

productive.
 9

Relatively few qualitative studies have been conducted that highlight the

feelings, thoughts, and perceptions of fatherless males. The lack of qualitative insight

precludes a thorough understanding about the life experience of these unfathered men,

leaving a gap in the collection of information that could influence policy generation,

program creation, or the direction of research on issues of fatherhood or fatherlessness.

Also, whereas previous literature primarily focused on the differences between men who

come from father-absent homes and those who come from father-present homes, very

little has been done to gain a deep understanding of the differences present among those

who were commonly exposed to father absence. This study uncovers key contributors to

the highly differentiated behaviors and outcomes among the unfathered and sheds some

light on the factors and circumstances enabling the necessary elements of a healing

process. The norms, perceptions, beliefs, and approaches to fathering are assessed to

identify how the perpetuation of fatherlessness can be halted at the current generation.

In addition to supplementing the existing literature and gaining an understanding

of the generational downstream impact of unaddressed fatherlessness, the justification for

this study also lies in the pervasiveness of father-absent families throughout the U.S. The

telling statistic that 20.3 million children in the U.S. lived in households that were void of

any male figure (National Fatherhood Initiative, 2011b) indicates the risk of continuation

of the fatherless phenomenon beyond this generation of fatherless children. The findings

from this study may provide qualitative insight that can inform and influence the design

of programs and policy to address both the needs of adult males who experienced

fatherlessness and those of children currently living in father-absent households.

 10

Another important contribution of this study will be its potential to influence

how adolescent males who experienced paternal absence can best be served in the

education system. Some potential education system beneficiaries of the findings of this

research include mothers, extended family, counselors, administrators, teachers, and

coaches. Additionally, policy makers at the local, state, and federal levels may perceive

this research as a means of gaining access to the mindsets of those impacted by

fatherlessness. Findings may influence changes in how single mothers and extended

family interact with fatherless sons, how counselors address any possible behavioral

shortcomings observed in fatherless boys, how administrators levy disciplinary action

toward fatherless male students, how policy makers structure educational guidelines

affecting fatherless adolescents, and how youth program providers structure their services

and delivery of benefits to fatherless recipients.

Adolescent boys experiencing fatherlessness are more likely to become teenage

parents, play truant from school, perform poorly in school, leave school by age 16, and

experience adjustment problems when transitioning to adulthood (National Fatherhood

Initiative, 2011a). The potential contribution of this study to address the factors

contributing to these quantitative indicators enhances its importance. Understanding the

qualitative differentiating factors among those unfathered men who benefit society,

model good fathering, and exemplify positive male citizenship and those who become a

draw on society can assist in halting the perpetuation of fatherlessness while opening up

several avenues for further research.

 11

Research Questions Focused on Solution Finding

The primary research questions for this study are as follows:

 What does the experience of transitioning from boyhood to manhood in a

father-absent household mean for males?

 How do men who experienced fatherlessness describe the intersection

between masculinity and fatherhood?

 How do men describe the relationships between their history of fatherlessness

and their attempts to father their own sons?

The Conceptual Framework

Researcher Stances and Experiential Base

This exploration of fatherlessness and its impact on parenting is built on the

researcher’s ontological, epistemological, and axiological stances. An ontological stance

refers to “the nature of reality” (Merriam, 2009, p. 8) from the viewpoint of a researcher.

To that end, this researcher acknowledges that the experiences of the unfathered are

highly differentiated and present a different reality to each individual who has been

exposed to fatherlessness. Epistemology defines a stance on the “nature of knowledge”

(Merriam, 2009, p. 8) and describes the researcher’s personal desire to increase the

breadth and depth of knowledge about the experiences and perceptions of the unfathered.

In conducting this study, the researcher attempted to close the gap between his own

experience and the phenomenon of fatherlessness (Creswell, 2007). The researcher

acknowledges an axiological stance in this research as a result of long-held values of

loyalty, family unity, and support for the development of youth which clash significantly

with the notions of father abandonment or paternal apathy. Lastly, the researcher brought
 12

to this research a bias against fathers who abandon their offspring and empathy toward

those who have endured paternal abandonment and the challenges associated with

exposure to apathetic fathering.

The researcher’s worldviews as a pragmatist, social constructivist, and advocate

are important to his positioning within this study (Creswell, 2007). His pragmatist

worldview places significant value on the outcomes of this investigation and the

exploration of how the youth circumstances shape the adult life experiences of American

men. The researcher anticipates that this research will uncover some deeply embedded

perceptions about the social and historical contexts of father-absence. This study is also

influenced by the researcher’s stance as a social constructivist who seeks to understand

the meanings and significance of the experiences of fathers who were previously exposed

to fatherlessness. Such meanings are shaped by the interactions, beliefs, and experiences

from the transition from boyhood to manhood (Creswell, 2007). As an Afro-Caribbean

man, the researcher recognizes that differences between his cultural upbringing and

perceptions about the family unit and those of the participants in this study may influence

the meanings he constructs from the data gathered. The researcher’s view of critical

aspects of fathering like discipline and father-child interaction are a product of his

cultural experience and must be taken into account as he assembles the data necessary to

address the research questions posed. Additionally, the researcher’s personal experiences

as a father who experienced paternal absence and his perceptions about the history of the

phenomenon of fatherlessness must be appropriately accounted for as he analyzed and

drew conclusions from the participant data gathered in this study.

 13

The fears, insecurities, and emotional consequences of exposure to

fatherlessness are a significant disadvantage that fathers must overcome. Faced with the

lack of modeling from an emotionally and socially present father, unfathered men are

often left to derive their view of masculinity from the media (Hanke, 2006), work

environments, society, and the power relationships (Creswell, 2007) in which they are

involved. It was this researcher’s intention to provide a voice for the participants in this

study, bringing awareness to their journey as it relates to the long-term generational

effects of father absence and paternal apathy while “freeing them from the constraints”

(Creswell, 2007, p. 22) of masculinity as defined by distant, disconnected informers. The

researcher draws on the phrase “Daddy Issue” to describe a “lack of emotional and

psychological balance” (Gibbs et al., 2007, p. 3) and depression of cognitive performance

(Chapman, 1977) associated with the experience of fatherlessness, the abuse of a paternal

relationship, or paternal undependability. The desire to give a voice to fatherless fathers

originates in an advocate or participatory world view built on the “essentialist” premise

(Marsiglio & Pleck, 2005) that fathers are important to the development of their children

and the researcher’s own mental model of father as the most critical leadership role men

will play in the 21st century and beyond.

Conceptual Framework of Three Research Streams

Some men are able to develop vital behaviors that help them overcome the

negative consequences associated with father-absence. On the other hand, others struggle

with identifying and ultimately practicing the behaviors leading to positive outcomes in

spite of their experiences. One such outcome is the ability of men who experienced

fatherlessness to engage in vital behaviors leading to healthy domestic relationships and

 14

highly engaged fathering. The differentiated behaviors among the fatherless may

originate from many sources. Nevertheless, the variation in behaviors and the personal

nature of each one’s experience may indicate that there are inherent experiences,

behaviors, acquired attitudes, and practiced activities contributing to one’s propensity to

withstand or succumb to the negative effects of fatherlessness. The three research

streams forming the lens through which the issue of fatherlessness is viewed are: (a)

Paternal Involvement and Issues of Essentialism, (b) the Social Construction of the

Masculinity-Fatherhood Linkage, and (c) Resilience and Competence Theory.

Figure 1: Annotated conceptual framework.

Paternal involvement and issues of essentialism. Men who have exposure to

“emotionally distant or physically absent fathering, or with destructive fathering in an

abusive family situation” (Pickhardt, 2007, p. 1) may lack the confidence or the

conception of how not to reenact the agonies and chaos that typified their experiences.

Such fathers, though intimidated, must “commit to profit from the negative example that
 15

they were so painfully given” (Pickhardt, 2007, p. 2) if they are to succeed in not

reproducing the fathering or lack thereof to which they were exposed.

Lamb, Pleck, Charnov, and Levine (1985) asserted that the achievement of

positive outcomes in a father-child relationship depend on a high level of paternal

involvement. They further stated that paternal involvement comprises three core

components: paternal engagement, paternal availability, and paternal responsibility. Each

of these components is invaluable in building strong paternal relationships, and a

significant deficiency in any may lead to perceptions of low father involvement—a key

ingredient for the range of behaviors that lead to paternal apathy or paternal

abandonment.

Fatherlessness, competence, and resilience theory. A thorough understanding

of the “events, trends, systemic structures, and mental models” affecting the

“contemporary reality” (Senge, Smith, Kruschwitz, Laur, & Schley, 2008, p. 174) of

fatherlessness must precede the pursuit of any systemic changes necessary to modify that

reality. This study pursues immersion into the differentiated behaviors among men who

experienced fatherlessness and encourages thorough reflection on mental models guiding

one’s perceptions about fatherhood. The systems thinking approach to understanding

variations in the long-term effects of fatherlessness among American men requires

inquiry into some “below-the-surface” factors. One such factor is the influence of

resilience on the paternal competence of participants in this study. The foundational

judgments of resilience include an exposure to threat, risk, or severe adversity, and the

achievement of positive adaptation and competence in the face of such adversity (Luthar,

Cicchetti, & Becker, 2000). It is important to acknowledge the risk exposure and explore
 16

the lived experiences and meaning of male adaptation to fatherlessness and the

achievement of competence in the area of fathering and the modeling of positive male

citizenship.

Social construction of the masculinity-fatherhood linkage. Masculinity is a

socially learned body of perceptions, beliefs, and norms that guide the behaviors,

expectations, and values of men. In a historical analysis of masculinity, Kimmel (2012)

asserted that “the quest for manhood—the effort to achieve, to demonstrate, to

prove…masculinity—has been one of the formative and persistent experiences in men’s

lives” (p. 3). The social nature of defining masculinity is further emphasized by the

notion that different cultures prescribe varying definitions of masculinity (Kimmel,

2012). The definition is somewhat impacted by “one’s class, race, ethnicity, age, and

sexuality” (Kimmel, 2012, p. 4).

Often, the sources of instruction for these learned perceptions of masculinity

include media, history, culture, and various father figures. Father figures include

biological fathers, adoptive fathers, and other social roles driven by institutions or

activities. Unfathered men may be disadvantaged by the absence of a father to model and

teach them about masculinity. Void of this influence for long stretches of their lives,

these men are forced to build definitions of masculinity from multiple sources. The

perception of masculinity that may be formulated in men who experienced paternal

absence, though potentially tainted, can ultimately be passed on to their sons, thus

expanding its impact. The perceptions of masculinity held by unfathered men are a

product of their own experiences of fatherlessness. Invariably, some of these perceptions

 17

are unhealthy and, if allowed to feed on themselves without intervention, can further

propagate the attitudes and actions that led to paternal absence in the first place.

This study attempted to uncover the essence of the linkage between masculinity

and fatherhood. Understanding how unfathered men perceive manhood and how they

navigate the man-experience, as seen through their lens, will be invaluable to

understanding differentiated outcomes among this population.

Definition of Terms

The following key terms and definitions will be used throughout the study:

Daddy issue

A lack of emotional and psychological balance and/or depression of cognitive

performance rooted in the experiences associated with the absence of a father

Disruption

The stressors, adversity, and life events individuals face that threaten the status

quo

Father absence

The spectrum of absence ranging from emotional disconnection to physical

absence of fathers

Fatherlessness

A combination of physical and emotional distance between fathers and children

resulting from a continuum of paternal behaviors ranging from paternal apathy to

outright paternal abandonment

 18

Paternal absence

The spectrum of absence ranging from emotional disconnection to physical

absence of fathers

Paternal apathy

Emotionally distant fathering, referring to fathers who are physically present but

emotionally disconnected from their offspring

Paternal undependability

A lack of reliability among fathers with respect to the father-child relationship

Reintegration

The behaviors demonstrated by individuals to adapt to life adversity (Richardson,

2002)

Reproduction of fatherhood

The assertion that fathers primarily father in the manner in which fathering was

modeled for them. Inherent in this definition is the notion that reproduction of

fatherlessness also exists, capturing the assertion that fathers who experienced

fatherlessness may be prone to enact or repeat the behaviors resulting in father-

absence or paternal apathy.

Resiliency

The “dynamic process encompassing positive adaptation within the context of

significant adversity” (Luthar et al., 2000, p. 543)

Social construct

A term whose definition is sensitive to the social, cultural, racial, and economic

context in which it applies

 19

Systems thinking

The process of understanding how things influence one another within a whole

Assumptions and Limitations

This study is built on several assumptions about fatherlessness and its impact on

those who experience it. The following list depicts the assumptions and limitations of

this study:

1. An assumption of this study was that the impact of fatherlessness on an

individual cannot be necessarily separated from issues of race and

socioeconomic status. A corresponding limitation was this study did not

take into account the racial, socio-economic, and cultural effects on the

development of vital behaviors enabling men to overcome their

experiences of being fatherless.

2. Another key assumption made in this study was that fatherlessness results

from a continuum of paternal behaviors ranging from paternal apathy—

emotional absence—to physical absence. It was further assumed that

paternal emotional absence and paternal physical absence are equally

impactful on the development of a child. One related limitation was the

inability of this study to concretely assess where paternal behaviors fall on

this continuum.

3. This study limited its investigation of fatherlessness to the impact on

males who ultimately become fathers of their own sons; this assumption

must be accounted for when making generalizations about trends observed

during this study.

 20

4. To understand the differentiated behaviors of men who experienced

fatherlessness, this study considered perceptions about educational

achievement, societal expectations, career progression, and stability of

familial relationships as valuable in the assessment of paternal behaviors.

An associated limitation was the fact that these issues may occur for

reasons other than the fatherless experience.

5. Many unfathered men have varying routes to fatherlessness which may

impact their level of traumatization. Individuals’ exposure to

fatherlessness may have been the consequence of divorce, death,

emotional disconnection, or abandonment. These routes to fatherlessness

impact the level of traumatization and may influence how men perceive

fatherlessness. One limitation of this study was it did not draw a

distinction between the routes to fatherlessness.

6. One assumption in this study was that a two-parent family referred to a

household with both a male and female parent. One limitation of this

study, therefore, was it did not take into account the advent and increasing

popularity of dual-parent, same-sex households (i.e., households in which

both parents are male or both parents are female).

Summary

Over the past two decades, increased nuances of fatherhood research have

resulted in greater visibility on issues related to fatherlessness. The body of research is

replete with claims, assertions, and viewpoints that sit on both sides of the essentialist

fence. Those who believe in the value of fathers proffer that they are invaluable to
 21

positive child development while proponents of the alternative view question whether

paternal absence is indeed an important and pressing social issue. Most of the existing

research focused on quantitative measures of the negative behaviors associated with

experiences of fatherlessness. Moreover, the bulk of existing research places significant

emphasis on comparative analysis of behaviors of those from father-present or father-

absent households, with little exploration of the highly differentiated behaviors among

those who experienced father absence. Few studies have investigated the actual thoughts,

feelings, perceptions, and attitudes of those who experienced the “Daddy Issue.”

Qualitative exploration of this phenomenon could offer deeper insight into why some

American males who experienced fatherlessness transition into adulthood and are

perpetually trapped in the negative behaviors and outcomes typically associated with

father absence. These men struggle to become effective parents and models for their

children. On the other hand, there are others who are able to grow beyond their fatherless

experience, become competent fathers, and participate in positive adult relationships.

This study leverages a conceptual framework of paternal involvement, resilience and

competence theory, and the linkage between masculinity and fatherhood to answer the

key research questions and ultimately deliver findings that may alter educational policy

for fatherless adolescents, encourage the creation of programs that benefit the unfathered,

and create an awareness of the deeper perceptions about fatherlessness. Ultimately, this

study will be important in breaking the generational perpetuation of father absence and

contributing to a sustainable society for future generations.

 22

Chapter 2: Literature Review

Introduction to Chapter 2

The impact of paternal absence on society is one of the topics at the center of

discourse among family structure intellectuals, social scientists, and gender theorists who

assess issues of fatherhood through the lens of the family unit, social construction, and

the gendered society respectively (Kimmel, 2000). Rohner and Veneziano (2001)

asserted that the role of father is a substantially important one that thrusts men into one of

the most significant leadership roles in the world. The importance of fatherhood – and by

extension fatherlessness – transcends geographical, ethnic, religious, and cultural

boundaries (Rohner & Veneziano, 2001).

Senge et al. (2008) asserted that a path toward societal sustainability takes into

account the needs of future generations and assesses social issues using a systems

thinking approach. One school of thought on issues of fatherhood suggests the presence

of fathers is highly important. Father presence, from this perspective, is essential to the

development of today’s children into tomorrow’s adults, who will invariably be

tomorrow’s parents. This school of thought also contends that an uptick in the levels of

fatherlessness in a society leads to several negative externalities transferable from

generation to generation. If father presence satisfies a societal need for future

generations, it can be proposed that the perpetuation of father absence potentially impacts

sustainability. The passage of behaviors leading to physical and psychological father

absence from current generations to future generations has become increasingly crucial.

Gaining a deep understanding of the perceptions, attitudes, and behaviors facilitating the
 23

perpetuation of or emergence from the impacts of father absence can help in catering to

the needs of future generations.

Rohner and Veneziano (2001) emphasized that future generations need fathers

who are present and actively involved in the development of their sons and daughters.

Blankenhorn (1995), Horn and Bush (1997), and Levine and Pitt (1995) all commonly

pointed to the need for responsible fatherhood as a necessary stimulant for government,

social service, grassroots, and community interventions. While asserting the need for

responsible fatherhood that was both financial and emotional, these researchers claimed

that compromised developmental outcomes for children from female-headed homes

pointed to children’s significant need for their fathers (Curan, 2003). This viewpoint

represents the “essentialist” school of thought (Marsiglio & Pleck, 2005, p. 251),

supporters of which would proffer that societal sustainability requires significant

attention to issues of fatherlessness (Blankenhorn, 1995; Popenoe, 1996; Silverstein &

Auerbach, 1999).

The essentialist viewpoint was highly criticized by contemporary researchers as

an intellectual leap (Marsiglio & Pleck, 2005). Marsiglio and Pleck (2005) questioned

whether “the simple dichotomy of father presence or absence” (p. 253) can account for

the numerous negative outcomes principally attributed to physical and psychological

paternal absence. Curan (2003) described the findings of some social scientists who

embraced the notion that it is not “paternal absence in itself, but the compromised

socioeconomic status of female-headed households” (p. 220) that is primarily responsible

for the majority of troubling developmental outcomes among men who experienced

fatherlessness. Perloff and Buckner (1996) expressed yet another viewpoint that places
 24

equivalent value on the quality of an interactive father-child relationship as was

previously placed on paternal absence as influencers of effective child development.

Regardless of the school of thought upon which a perspective is built, analysis of

the current reality of issues related to fatherhood or fatherlessness is best undertaken via a

systems thinking lens (Senge et al., 2008). Such an approach encourages researchers to

be “willing to step back” and develop a “shared understanding of the…four factors that

influence any situation: events, patterns and trends, deeper systemic structures or forces,

and the mental models…that shape these structures and forces” (Senge et al., 2008, p.

173). Senge’s (2008) Systems Thinking Iceberg Model indicated that a historical

summarization of the events and patterns that shaped father absence provides an

introduction to the habits of mind and systemic forces that ultimately contribute to this

phenomenon. A review of the existing literature on the impact of paternal involvement

on individual development – resilience theory as it relates to fatherlessness and

perceptions about masculinity – provides a broader, deeper view of the systemic

structures and mental models impacting the reproduction of fatherhood.

The role of the father in American society has undergone numerous changes over

time. Starting in the colonial era, fatherhood in America took different forms for

different ethnic groups. Dudley and Stone (2004) wrote that Euro-American fathers and

Latino fathers from the southwest were viewed culturally as patriarchs. In both these

ethnicities, fathers were seen as “primary and irreplaceable caregivers” who were

expected to teach their offspring “moral and religious values” (p. 6). On the other hand,

African American fathers were enduring slavery and, despite their desire to protect their

families, were often forcibly separated from their offspring depending on the needs of the
 25

plantation (Billingsley, 1992). A similar experience of being stripped of their

manhood and ripped from their families was shared by the colonial age American

Indians.

The 19th century brought with it a shift in the economy from an agrarian one to

one in which young men had significantly more opportunities to work in industries,

factories, and offices that were often at great distances from their homes (Fliegelman,

1992). Consequently, the 19th century is credited with being the era that began the

separation between fathers and their families. The close paternal relationships that

typified the colonial era became increasingly rare (Dudley & Stone, 2004) during the 19th

century.

During the 20th century, voluntary desertion by fathers became more prevalent.

Industrialization, urbanization, and wars were the social phenomena behind the steady

increase in paternal irresponsibility. By the 1970s, other social phenomena impacting the

role of the father in the family arose. The feminist movement of the 1960s and 1970s and

the liberal divorce laws of the 1970s and 1980s were just a few such social occurrences

that further threatened the role of the father in the family. The latter resulted in a

climbing divorce rate and a rapid increase in unmarried-couple families (Dudley & Stone,

2004).

From caregiver and moral guide to breadwinner to superfluous, the role,

relevance, and relationships of fathers in the family have fluctuated, forcing many to

recognize a need for action and call into question the true societal impact of father

absence. The sons of these fatherless families are left to navigate through the effects and

outcomes of father absence. One such impacted outcome is the ability of men who
 26

experienced father absence to appropriately model the behaviors necessary for good

fathering and responsible male citizenship for their sons (Renshaw, 2005). Some of these

men are able to gain the perceptions, attitudes, and experiences enabling them to emerge

from father absence and adequately fulfill their role as fathers to boys. Fathering boys

requires these men to practice and model sound familial interactions, relationship-

building skills, and positive forward-looking views of masculinity.

Conceptual Framework

To effectively grasp the essence of fatherlessness, understand its impact, and

identify the qualitative factors contributing to its passage from generation to generation,

this study explores both theoretical and practical research streams. Collectively, these

streams provide a framework through which one can assess the scholarly commentary

offered in the literature about the factors contributing to highly differentiated outcomes

among men who experience fatherlessness. Particularly, the framework provides a

comprehensive lens through which one can analyze issues of father absence and

enumerate their contribution to the ability of those who experienced it to in turn model

effective behaviors for their sons (Renshaw, 2005). The three research streams upon

which this research is built are: Paternal Involvement and Essentialism; Resilience and

Competence Theory; and the Masculinity-Fatherhood Linkage.

 27

Paternal
Involvement &
Fatherlessness

The
Resilience &
Masculinity-
Competence
Fatherhood
Theory
Linkage

Figure 2. Conceptual framework.

The confluence of these three research streams and the intersection of the

scholarly discourse in these three areas are potentially a compelling source of some

theoretical grounding and practical insights on the issue of fathering sons without a

model father.

Literature Review

Existing research provides valuable insight into how socioeconomic, societal, and

political factors have influenced and are in turn influenced by paternal absence. There is

a significant body of research that looks beyond the “simple dichotomy of father presence

or absence” (Marsiglio & Pleck, 2005, p. 253) to identify other factors that intensify the

effects of fatherlessness. A thorough synthesis of previous findings in fatherhood studies

along with other tangential subjects is essential to understanding how some men who

experienced physical or psychological paternal absence are able to overcome and thrive
 28

in their own parenting and familial responsibilities. Exploration of the literature may

also provide valuable insight into the factors contributing to the inability of some men to

move beyond the cognitive, emotional, and psychological damage resulting from their

own exposure to father absence. Somehow, this latter group finds difficulty in leveraging

opportunities to become more engaged, nurturing fathers who effectively model what

fathering looks like to their sons.

While there are many vantage points from which to view the issue of

fatherlessness, one lens of utmost importance is paternal involvement and essentialism.

This perspective of fatherhood considers the factors affecting paternal involvement and

seeks to understand the inherent differentiating factors between fathering and mothering

that support the uniqueness of fathers’ contributions to their children. A second research

lens that elucidates the phenomena of father absence and the reproduction of fatherhood

explores fatherlessness via resilience and competence theories. Luthar et al. (2000)

suggested that research on resilience as a theoretical construct has burgeoned in recent

years. Inquiry and study in this area deepens the understanding of processes affecting at-

risk individuals and provides significant insight into factors that contribute to developing

the capability to emerge from hardship; this parallels the focal point of this research,

which seeks to understand factors affecting men who may be deemed “at risk” as a result

of their experiences with father absence. A third perspective of fatherlessness and the

differentiated outcomes it sparks takes into account what Kimmel (2000) refers to as the

gendered society—a society founded upon assumptions of gender difference and the

politics of gender inequality. Kimmel (2000) emphasized that there is a clear delineation

between being male—a physical attribute—and being masculine. He further contended

 29

that masculinity is a socially constructed entity that means “different things to different

people” (p. 3). The relationship between masculinity and fatherhood is a necessary

consideration relevant to how the perceptions of unfathered men influence their

interaction with their sons.

Individually, each of the streams reveals some key learning about an aspect of

father absence. When considered collectively, however, they form a conceptual

framework providing a holistic view of the thoughts, perceptions, beliefs, and feelings

associated with paternal absence. Synthesizing the contributions of several key theorists

and exploring the findings of previous studies via the prescribed conceptual framework

allows for a deep understanding of paternal involvement and the many sides of what

Marsiglio and Pleck (2005) described as a “highly politicized issue” (p. 251). It also lays

the foundation for the exploration of how both negative and positive behaviors are passed

to subsequent generations via a father-son relationship in which the father himself lacked

a solid model of effective fathering.

Examining the literature put forth by resiliency theorists is also important in

understanding the role of resilience in enabling some fathers to move beyond their

fatherless experiences and demonstrate competence at fathering and modeling positive

male citizenship (Renshaw, 2005). Pickhardt (2007) stated that unfathered men have a

lack of confidence in their ability to not “reenact the agonies and chaos of their fatherless

experience” (p. 2). Such characterization parallels what Luther et al. (2000) referred to as

“significant adversity,” a core circumstantial element in their definition of resilience (p.

543).
 30

Marsiglio and Pleck (2005) asserted that a gendered, critical view of fatherhood

can expose how model-less fathering is impacted by and “contributes to gendered

inequalities within and outside the family” (p. 250). The highly gendered nature of

society impacts both inter-gender and intra-gender social relations and has a significant

impact on how men perceive their roles as fathers and the related behaviors they

demonstrate (Kimmel, 2000; Marsiglio & Pleck, 2005). The opportunities and struggles

men face as they attempt “to think and act as male parents” (Marsiglio & Pleck, 2005, p.

250) originates in the notion that a traditionally singular definition of masculinity is being

replaced by the perspective that there are multiple social constructions of masculinity

impacting men’s approach to fathering. Circa 2005, the literature addressing the

relationship between these two socially constructed entities—fatherhood and

masculinity—was limited but has increased significantly as more researchers continue to

explore issues of masculinity.

Father Involvement and the Reproduction of Fatherhood

Father involvement has been one of the focal points of family research over the

last two decades. With the increased scrutiny placed on this topic, researchers have shed

light on several factors that were believed to influence the levels of paternal involvement

observed within families. The societal demands placed on fathers today reflect a myriad

of expectations historically considered to be contradictory or conflicting. Renshaw

(2005) asserted that the expectations of the contemporary father include “being a good

provider; an aggressive workplace competitor; a fearless protector; and a wise, gentle,

and sensitive” (p. 7) support for the family system during difficult times. Father

involvement is still limited by many to that of the breadwinner or sports coach function,
 31

with “fathers bringing home the money to take care of the families” or “seeing that

kids toe the line and follow the rules” (Renshaw, 2005, p. 7).

Socioeconomic and global concerns like industrialization and international

conflict were the primary causes of fatherlessness in the mid-20th century. During this

period, fathers were increasingly viewed as unnecessary, superfluous, and a luxury – with

single motherhood often taking place in a multi-generational setting (Renshaw, 2005).

This view of fathers is countered by the essentialist viewpoint, which asserts that father

involvement is an important influencer in child development (Allen & Daly, 2007; Lamb

et al., 1985). Key findings of a study conducted by the National Center for Fathering

illustrated that 70% of the population surveyed agreed that father absence from the home

is the most significant challenge facing families in America (National Center for

Fathering and Families, 2009). Additionally, almost 97% of respondents in the study

indicated that fathers needed to be more involved in their children’s education while only

50% thought that fathers knew what was going on in their children’s lives.

Several researchers have investigated models of the determinants and outcomes

associated with paternal involvement. Lamb (1981) proposed that nurturing and involved

fathers who were supportive of the mother were more apt to facilitate the development of

positive attributes among children. Such views align with the contention by Lamb et al.

(1985) that father involvement is important in developing “achievement motivation,

cognitive and social competence, psychological adjustment, and sex-stereotyped role

attitudes and attributions, particularly in sons” (p. 112). The achievement of such

positive outcomes, according to Lamb et al. (1985), depended on three core components

that together constituted a model for paternal involvement. The model, later referred to
 32

as the Lamb-Pleck construct (Pleck, 2010), became a foundational element in father

involvement research with numerous researchers expanding upon each of its components.

Understanding the components of paternal involvement and relating them to the

positive outcomes suggested by Lamb et al. (1985) is valuable in understanding how a

paucity of or complete removal of any aspect of paternal involvement can adversely

impact children. The first component of paternal involvement is paternal engagement,

defined by Lamb et al. (1985) as the “direct interaction with the child, in the form of care

taking, play leisure” (p. 125), and other shared activities. Marsiglio (1991) described the

achievement of paternal engagement as when fathers “develop more fully the expressive

dimension to their parental role…establish close and intimate bonds with their

children…and provide nurturance and affection” (p. 973). Volling and Belsky (1991)

proposed that paternal engagement refers to “direct one-on-one interaction” (p. 462)

between a father and child. Each of these descriptions of engagement supports its

importance in the Lamb-Pleck construct. However, Pleck (2010) suggested that

engagement has been given disproportionate attention by researchers as the core driver of

father involvement.

The second component of paternal involvement is paternal availability and

accessibility (Lamb et al., 1985). Lamb et al. (1985) measured father accessibility as the

percentage of time that fathers are both available and accessible to their children. Volling

and Belsky (1991) agreed with the importance of paternal availability to the father

involvement construct but clarified that the time measures proposed by Lamb et al.

(1985) included time spent in proximity to the child and not necessarily actual interaction

with the child. In their discussion of paternal availability, Kelly and Lamb (2000) stated
 33

that healthy father-child relationships are built upon high accessibility. Moreover,

such strong filial relationships between fathers and children present ample opportunities

for fathers to become sufficiently available and promote deeper interaction with their

children, thereby developing the ability to differentiate, interpret, and respond to

children’s signals.

The third component of paternal involvement is paternal responsibility. Lamb et

al. (1985) defined responsibility as “the role a father takes in making sure that the child is

taken care of” (p. 125). Additionally, they stated that responsible fathers are deeply

involved in “planning and arranging resources to be available to the child” (Lamb et al.,

1985, p. 125). Stueve and Pleck (2003) proposed that paternal responsibility is an aspect

of paternal identity which in turn influences the meaning an individual associates with the

role of father.

Palkovitz (2002) built on the Lamb-Pleck construct by representing paternal

involvement as three overlapping domains—the cognitive domain, the affective domain,

and the behavioral domain. Palkovitz (2002) stated that paternal involvement can be

assessed according to the three domains through simultaneously occurring measures of

the continua of time invested, the degree of involvement, observability of the

involvement, the salience of the involvement, and the directness and proximity of the

involvement. He further suggested that the level of paternal involvement can also be

assessed by looking at 15 dimensions of paternal behaviors: communicating, teaching,

monitoring, engaging in thought processes, providing, showing affection, protecting,

emotionally supporting, running errands, caregiving, engaging in child-related

 34

maintenance, sharing interests, being available, participating in planning, and sharing

activities (Palkovitz, 2002).

Pleck and Masciadrelli (2004) explored each component in this model to

characterize the validity of studies and the measures used as proxies for paternal

engagement, availability, and responsibility. In their review, Pleck and Masciadrelli

(2004) identified more detail and a few shortcomings of the Lamb-Pleck construct. The

bulk of the criticism levied on this model is that it is based on the experience of white,

middle-class fathers and is, therefore, less relevant to fathers in other demographics and

in other socioeconomic strata (Pleck & Masciadrelli, 2004).

Further advances in fatherhood research and the need to solidify its theoretical

basis encouraged Pleck (2010) to re-conceptualize the “operationalization of father

involvement” (p. 59). For the most part, research built on the Lamb-Pleck construct used

father involvement as a synecdoche for paternal engagement and placed very little

attention on the availability and responsibility aspects of the model. Pleck (2010)

advanced the Lamb-Pleck model of paternal involvement by first refining the

engagement component to reflect positive engagement in a narrowly defined set of

activities. He asserted that the majority of the studies of engagement were heavily

influenced by the focus placed by the Lamb-Pleck model on the total amount of time

spent in activities. Such focus resulted in a skew in the research toward quantitative

characterization of paternal involvement (Pleck, 2010), prompting several researchers to

advocate for the inclusion of more qualitative measures in a revision of the paternal

involvement theoretical constructs (Carlson, 2006; Hofferth, 2003; Pleck, 2010). The
 35

qualitative view of paternal involvement included additional factors like paternal

warmth and responsiveness to children (Pleck, 2010).

Pleck (2010) also included two auxiliary domains in his revised father-

involvement construct: indirect care, defined as “activities undertaken for the child but

not involving interaction with the child” (p. 65); and process responsibility, defined as the

fathers’ initiative in determining what is needed in the household (p. 65). Pleck (2010)

suggested that these two elements were combined under the responsibility component in

the Lamb-Pleck construct, “obscuring how conceptually distinct the two phenomena

were” (p. 67). The increasingly frequent inclusion of qualitative dimensions of paternal

involvement in the research are representative of the desire to better understand the

factors that qualify and influence good fathering and in turn may be used to draw

conclusions about father absence.

The Pleck revision of the Lamb-Pleck construct aligns with recent research

conducted by Hawkins, King, and Amato (2007). Using national data from the 1995 and

1996 segments of the National Longitudinal Study of Adolescent Health (Harris et al.,

2003), Hawkins et al. (2007) conducted a study “to examine the associations between

nonresident father involvement and adolescent well-being” (p. 991). Hawkins et al.

(2007) considered father involvement by drawing a distinction between “social contact

and instrumental contact” (p. 992). Instrumental contact is father-child interaction

directly related to children’s educational and social development. Examples include

working on school assignments, conversing with children about problems, and attending

religious services together (Hawkins et al., 2007). Hawkins’ view supports Pleck’s
 36

(2010) narrowing of the activities used to gauge paternal engagement to those he

deemed as positive activities.

In addition to investigating the father effect on adolescent well-being, Hawkins et

al. (2007) also explored the child effect—attitudes and behaviors by adolescents that

“contribute to the weakening or strengthening of the father-child relationship” (p. 993).

In conducting their study, Hawkins et al. established a four-part hypothesis. They

hypothesized that longitudinal data would show that active fathering was a predictor for

several dimensions of adolescent wellbeing—the father effect. Additionally, they

postulated that adolescent well-being was in turn a predictor of active fathering—the

child effect. The sample in the Hawkins et al. (2007) study included 3,394 adolescents –

with non-resident fathers – between grades 7 and 12 and their parents. Additionally, the

study also included a sample of 3,394 adolescents from households with a resident father.

To assess the impact of active fathering on adolescent well-being, Hawkins et al. (2007)

used three latent variables—externalizing problems as indicated by delinquency, violent

behavior, and substance abuse; internalizing problems as indicated by depressive

symptoms, negative outlook, and low self-esteem; and academic achievement as

indicated by grades in English, math, social studies, and science.

Hawkins et al. (2007) concluded, in congruence with prior literature, that active

fathering by non-resident fathers—modeled as contact, activities, communication,

closeness, and child support—is generally associated with positive outcomes among

adolescents. Contrary to their hypothesis, however, they found “there was no support for

the father effects perspective” but adequate statistical evidence “supporting a child effects

perspective” (Hawkins et al., 2007, p. 1004). The findings indicated there was no
 37

statistically significant relationship in the study between active fathering and

adolescent wellbeing in terms of the three latent variables observed. Moreover, there is

support for the notion that non-resident fathers “maintain relationships to well-adjusted

adolescents and disengage from troubled adolescents” (Hawkins et al., 2007, p. 1004).

The comparison of these findings among non-resident fathers and those gathered from

resident fathers is rather compelling. Hawkins et al. (2007) found evidence of father

effects with active fathering among resident fathers contributing to a lowering of

internalizing behavior and improved academic achievement. There was also evidence of

child effects with resident fathers indicating “reciprocal patterns of influence” (Hawkins

et al., 2007, p. 1004).

Although compelling, the study by Hawkins et al. (2007) is limited by the narrow

selection of variables used to assess father involvement and adolescent outcomes. The

omission of several other variables in the survey data eliminates the ability to establish a

causal direction between variables. Nevertheless, Hawkins et al. (2007) used several

variables to represent father involvement and child wellbeing, enhancing its relevance to

this study. Additionally, the novel view of father involvement via the father perspective

and child perspective lens also informs how father involvement contributes to the study

of paternal absence and paternal apathy.

Cabrera, Fitzgerald, Bradley, and Roggman (2007) concluded – after analyzing

the models put forth by Lamb et al. (1985), Palkovitz (2002), and a few other researchers

– that even collectively, the body of work on father involvement does not contribute

toward a comprehensive view of fathering that identifies the father behaviors central to

children’s development. Tamis-LeMonda and Cabrera (1999) identified a few of the

 38

factors that may predict or obstruct positive father involvement: “mental health,

expectations about fatherhood, family relations, support networks, community, culture,

the characteristics of the child or children, and public policies” (p. 9). Cabrera et al.

(2007) also provided some additional predictors of father involvement including

biological health as it relates to substance abuse; father characteristics like employment,

education, parenting style, attitudes, and motivation; contextual factors like mother-father

relationship and community connections; and child characteristics. Cabrera et al. (2007)

proposed a heuristic model of father involvement depicted in Figure 3.

Source: Cabrera et al. (2007)

Figure 3. A heuristic model of fatherhood.

The model provides a comprehensive view of fatherhood by systematically

organizing the study of fathers and closely relating it to the wellbeing and development of

children (Cabrera et al., 2007). According to Cabrera et al. (2007), factors influencing

the relationship between father involvement and outcomes in children include both father
 39

characteristics and child characteristics. Their views align with the research conducted

by Hawkins et al. (2007), in which it was observed that there is some salience to both the

father effects perspective and child effects perspective as it relates to influencing paternal

involvement. The predictors put forth by Cabrera et al. (2007) are individual, contextual,

and family-centric, reflecting the complex nature of this topic. The multidimensional

influences on paternal involvement were corroborated by Belsky (1984, 1990). He

asserted that the quality of fathering is dependent on the personal characteristics of the

father, the social-contextual influences on the father, and the personal characteristics of

the child being fathered. Belsky (1984) proposed that each of these determinants exerts

unequally distributed influence over the quality of fathering.

Grossman, Golding, and Pollack (1988) conducted a longitudinal study in which

they assessed the salience of a number of predictors of fathering. Grossman et al. (1988)

considered “direct effects” described as “aspects of the men's own characteristics and

adaptation that predicted their parenting” (p. 83). They also considered indirect effects

that also “influenced the quality and quantity of men’s parenting” (Grossman et al.,

1988). The sample in the study comprised 23 families who were recruited when they

were expecting their first child and were studied for a five-year timeframe. Data were

collected from the families periodically during the five year period via multiple means

including semi-structured interviews and observations.

Grossman et al. (1988) identified a father’s psychological health, freedom from

anxiety, and sex role identification as strong influencers on child outcomes. Specifically,

they found that men who possessed healthy autonomy and affiliation had greater capacity

to develop these two important developmental dimensions in their children (Grossman et

 40

al., 1988). In terms of indirect effects, Grossman et al. (1988) found that

“sociocultural variables played a significant role in predicting paternal involvement” (p.

89). The overall autonomy of the mother, characterized via the number of years of

education and the status of her occupation, were negatively related to paternal

involvement.

Barnett and Baruch (1987) conducted a qualitative study to assess the

determinants of paternal involvement in family work. They discovered statistical

significance in the relationship between paternal interaction time and the “quality of

fathering that fathers received as youngsters” (Barnett & Baruch, 1987, p. 35). The

Barnett and Baruch (1987) study was limited in terms of diversity of the subjects.

Nevertheless, it significantly reflected that paternal involvement can potentially be

perpetuated, whereby attitudes toward fathering are influenced by the experience

associated with being fathered.

Close analysis of the numerous proposed predictors of father involvement,

however, led to a greater understanding of the factors that can potentially lead to

fatherlessness. The influence of family of origin from the Cabrera et al. (2007) model of

father involvement is of utmost relevance to this study. Cabrera et al. (2007) captured the

potential for the generational perpetuation of father involvement or fatherlessness by

representing “rearing history” as a determinant of father characteristics that in turn

influence paternal involvement, essentially the concept of reproduction of fatherhood (p.

186). How does a father’s childhood and experience with his own father affect his own

relationship with his sons? Tamis-LeMonda and Cabrera (1999) suggested that the

“origins of fatherhood begin in a boy’s experience with his own father long before
 41

biological paternity occurs” (p. 29). Cowan and Cowan (1987) and Volling and

Belsky (1992) corroborated these findings in their own research studies, finding that

fathers’ childhood experiences affected their involvement with their children and the

security of the father-child relationship. Williams, Radin, and Coggins (1996) found that

fathers who had poor paternal role models or fathers who had very low levels of

engagement or availability struggled with paternal involvement themselves, even if they

had every intention of actively participating in their sons’ lives.

Perspectives on paternal involvement shed some light on the overall phenomenon

of fatherhood and by extension father absence and paternal apathy. Another lens

providing even more clarity to the issue of fatherlessness is the social constructs of

masculinity and the linkages between masculinity and fatherhood. Coltrane (2004), in his

assessment of determinants of paternal involvement, referenced studies conducted by

Cabrera, Tamis-LeMonda, Bradley, Hofferth, and Lamb (2000) and Hofferth (1998) who

all asserted that “fathers are more involved and show more warmth if they believe in

gender equality” (Coltrane, 2004, p. 232). The notion of gender is an integral aspect of

the intellectual conversation on fatherhood. The important linkage between perceptions

about gender, more specifically masculinity, and fatherhood is the second stream in the

conceptual framework upon which this study is structured.

The Social Construction of Masculinity and Fatherhood

Paternal involvement and resilience are both elements in a complex subsystem of

factors impacting men who experienced father absence. Similarly complex are the

considerations to be taken into account when analyzing these men’s ability to halt the

passage of negative consequences of fatherlessness from their generation to that of their

 42

sons. Acknowledging and understanding the complexity of this intricate network of

determinants, outcomes, risks, and adaptations are a necessary precursor to implementing

any systemic change addressing the issue of fatherlessness, paternal modeling, and –

most importantly – the perpetuation of father-absence. A key consideration is the conflict

men experience between being male, a physical characteristic; being masculine, a

socially defined characteristic; and being fathers, another socially defined entity. White

and Perez (2010) suggested that the multidirectional emotional and social tugs resulting

from such conflict can lead to feelings of confusion, inadequacy, and fear among men.

The fears, insecurities, and emotional consequences of exposure to fatherlessness

are a significant disadvantage that men in a parenting role must overcome (Pickhardt,

2007). Hanke (2006) emphasized that when faced with the lack of modeling from an

emotionally and socially absent father, unfathered men are often left to derive their view

of masculinity from the media, work environments, society, and the power relationships

in which they are involved. Some men who experience fatherlessness are somehow able

to escape the “grim outcomes” (Larcher, 2007, p. 2) they are often expected to endure.

Since some are able to avoid such negative outcomes indicates that, potentially, there are

other experiences, inherent behaviors, acquired attitudes, and practiced activities

contributing to one’s ability to prevent the perpetuation of the consequences of

fatherlessness.

This review of the existing literature introduces some of the key contributions on

the topic of masculinity with specific attention targeted at socially defined masculinities

as an increasingly relevant focal point of contemporary research. Additionally, focus in

the literature reviewed is levied toward the research community’s transition from
 43

accepting a singular dominant masculinity to embracing what Marsiglio and Pleck

(2005) described as “alternative constructions of masculinities that give meaning to

men’s everyday lives in diverse situations” (p. 250). Despite the fact that the study of

masculinity is relatively new, identifiable masculine norms grouped in terms of multiple

masculinities have emerged and are rapidly gaining acceptance. Connell (1995, 2000,

2005) shared a similar viewpoint to that of Marsiglio and Pleck (2005), emphasizing

contemporary acceptance that masculinities are plural and contextual.

The emergence of alternative forms of masculinity brings with it associated

expectations of conformity with widely varying definitions of what it means to be

masculine. Constant pressure to align with the behaviors and norms of a given

masculinity places significant pressure on men that may ultimately hamper their ability to

perform adequately as fathers (Uhl, 2011). The literature relevant to this discourse may

be categorized in terms of the following: the historical evolution of masculinity, the

multiplicity of socially constructed masculinities, and the impact of masculinity and

paternity on individual cognitive and social development. Within each category, the

relationship between the socially constructed entities of masculinity and fatherhood shall

be highlighted.

Gardiner (2005) stated that “the most important accomplishment of 20th-century

feminist theory is the concept of gender as a social construction” (p. 35). With deep

exploration into feminist theory dominating early gender-based research, inquiry into

concepts associated with masculinity have recently followed suit. The notion of social

construction suggests that masculinity is “loosely defined and historically variable”

 44

(Gardiner, 2005, p. 35), contrasting significantly with traditional assumptions that

separated men and women based primarily on physical attributes and sex roles.

Gillis (2000) also applied a loose and historically driven meaning to fatherhood as

he urged fellow researches and proponents of essentialism, circa 2000, to consider the

relevance of the ever-changing linkage between masculinity and fatherhood to sweeping

assertions about the impacts of father absence. Gillis (2000) provided a historical

summary of the linkage between fatherhood and masculinity to demonstrate the cyclic

historical pattern of issues of fatherlessness. He emphasized that fatherhood and

masculinity are both “socially and culturally constructed” (p. 227) and that the linkage

between the two has undergone numerous shifts throughout history. In describing post-

patriarchal fatherhood of the 1700s, Gillis (2000) cited the work of Ozment (1983),

noting that this era was the first time that paternity and masculinity were linked. He

described a period during European colonization in which economic circumstances, not

paternity, were the key factor that “qualified a man for social fatherhood” (Gillis, 2000, p.

228). At that time, fatherhood was primarily the calling of the privileged male,

emphasizing patriarchy and the near irrelevance of paternity with respect to fatherhood.

Gillis (2000) also argued that through pre-industrial, industrial, post-industrial,

and post-world war periods, the masculinity-to-fatherhood relationship was redefined on

numerous occasions. He described the industrial revolution as an event that had a

different impact on the masculinity-fatherhood relationship in the middle class than it did

among the aristocracy. Among the middle class, fatherhood seemed to become a thing of

the past as fathers were drawn out of the homes and into the firms. Among the upper

echelons of society, however, domestic husbanding as the sole mark of masculinity

 45

served to drive a wedge between fathers and their children (Gillis, 2000). Griswold

(1992) shared a similar view and described society as one marred by “the politicization of

motherhood and the marginalization of fatherhood” (p. 13).

Up to post-World War II, the positioning of masculinity as a set of practices that

diametrically opposed femininity was prevalent, with men constantly being challenged to

prove their manhood (Uhl, 2011). A wartime period that featured an increased number of

women operating outside the household gave way to a post-war environment in which

there was an enthusiastic rejuvenation of the separation between masculinity and

femininity. Masculinity was suitable for the economic, political, and public realms of

responsibility while femininity was again relegated to the domestic realms of society

(Kimmel, Hearn, & Connell, 2005). Also, the post-World War II era was characterized

by the creation of the “New Fatherhood” approach to fathering and the “Good Family

Man” masculinity (Gillis, 2000, p. 231). These two constructions were linked by

significant social efforts to increasingly domesticize masculinity and uphold the dutiful

breadwinner as the appropriate intersection of fatherhood and manhood. Ironically, the

pursuit of the breadwinner masculinity resulted in men who were “increasingly absent

from day-to-day interaction with their families” (Uhl, 2011, p. 10). The conflict between

breadwinning and domestication highlighted the importance of the masculinity-

fatherhood linkage in understanding how physical, emotional, or psychological father

absence can be impacted by perceptions about masculinity and vice versa. Moreover, the

contextual nature of fatherhood and masculinity became even more apparent. Connell

(1998) described the “transnational business masculinity” (p. 16) as one characterized by

egocentrism and lack of familial loyalty. Gillis (2000) agreed and attributed the issues
 46

with father absence at the turn of the 21st century as a “revival of a non-familial

masculinity…suitable to the context of a global age” (p. 234).

The evolution of perceptions about masculinity was also illustrated by Kirkman,

Rosenthal, and Feldman (2001) who conducted a phenomenological study exploring

traditional masculinity and its contradiction with involved fatherhood. Study participants

included 51 people from 19 Caucasian families in Australia who were interviewed to

understand how parents, especially fathers, communicated about issues of sexuality to

adolescent children. To analyze the data from the individual interviews of each

participant, Kirkman et al. (2001) categorized and elaborated popular themes.

Kirkman et al. (2001) found that fathers predominantly used humor to

communicate about sexuality—a means of coping with the “competing discourses”

(p.395) of traditional masculinity and the involved father. They also discovered several

barriers to fathers’ communication of sexuality: a traditional masculinity characterizing

men as strong, aggressive, unemotional, and heterosexual (Levant, 1997); covert male-

female double standards regarding sexuality; and male difficulty displaying affection or

intimacy.

The tension between traditional masculinity and involved fatherhood is a source

of struggle for men, who are challenged to maintain a paternal involvement that conflicts

with a traditional characterization of manhood (Kirkman et al., 2001). Kirkman et al.

(2001) highlighted the challenge men face in balancing being male and being an

involved, active father. The struggle described here parallels the struggles represented by

other authors as a known effect of traditional masculinity (Uhl, 2011; White & Peretz,

2010).
 47

At the core of the evolution of masculinity theory is the work on hegemonic

masculinity (Connell & Messerschmidt, 2005). Hegemonic masculinity is a concept

originating from a study conducted by Kessler, Ashenden, Connell, and Dowsett (1982)

at an Australian high school in which findings empirically supported “multiple

hierarchies of gender” (Connell & Messerschmidt, 2005, p. 830). The conclusions of

their study formed the basis for extensive critique of male sex-role theory, which had

gained some traction circa 1980 but was being questioned for its homogenizing effect and

its failure to account for differentiated power within the sexes (Kimmel, 1987). As the

notion of hegemonic masculinity took root, there were also several ethnographic studies

(Cockburn, 1983; Herdt, 1981; Hunt, 1980; Willis, 1977) demonstrating the plurality of

masculinities, the complexity of masculine gender construction, and the intra-gender

dominance connoted by the term hegemony (Connell & Messerschmidt, 2005). The

focus on multiple masculinities and the dominance of a single masculinity is well

represented by the following quote from Connell and Messerschmidt (2005):

Hegemonic masculinity was distinguished from other masculinities, especially

subordinated masculinities. Hegemonic masculinity was not assumed to be
normal in the statistical sense; only a minority of men might enact it. But it was
certainly normative. It embodied the currently most honored way of being a man,
it required all other men to position themselves in relation to it, and it
ideologically legitimated the global subordination of women to men. (p. 832)

With its emergence over two decades from a conceptual model with little

empirical basis to being regarded as a seminal concept in masculinity studies, hegemonic

masculinity has remained central to research efforts on men and masculinity, displacing

sex-role theory and patriarchy approaches to inquiry. Valdés and Olavarría (1998), Ishii-

Kuntz (2003), Higate (2003), and Uhl (2011) demonstrated the international and
 48

institutional applicability of the plurality tenet of hegemonic masculinity while

Guntman (1996) illustrated the social construction of a single masculinity, the hegemonic

masculinity that is dominant over all others.

The definition of hegemonic masculinity prescribed by Connell and

Messerschmidt (2005) alludes to the existence of a masculinity to which many men strive

but very few achieve. White and Peretz (2010) offered a narrative study that investigated

how emotions “transformed perceptions and practices of masculinity” (p. 404). The

participants in their study were two heterosexual, African American pro-feminist men.

Both participated in four-to five-hour-long, semi-structured interviews targeting 25 topics

related to masculinity, pro-feminism, and emotional expression. Independent judges

coded the interviews and categorized emotions described by the participants as either

negative or positive (White & Peretz, 2010). The emergent negative emotions included

anger, fear, sadness, and frustration while the positive emotions identified included

happiness, empathy, and hopefulness.

White and Peretz (2010) found that the pro-feminist posture among participants

originated from an awareness of injustices to women. The increased awareness of blatant

gender inequality evoked negative emotions within both participants and inspired their

active participation in feminists’ activities that embraced uninhibited emotional

expression. White and Peretz (2010) concluded that the pursuit of hegemonic

masculinity hampers emotional expression among Black men and depicts real men as

those who do not feel pain, cry, or reveal fear—myths that can lead to inadequacy and

anger. Their findings illustrate that a redefinition of masculinity can create a positive

emotional culture celebrating open expression of emotions.

 49

The conclusion by White and Peretz (2010) that the pursuit of hegemonic

masculinity results in a lack of emotional authenticity is similar at the outset to the

viewpoints expressed by Collier (1998). Collier (1998) strongly criticized the notion of

hegemonic masculinity, claiming the concept had evolved to the point that it was

primarily associated with negative characteristics and excluded positive behavior by men.

He stressed that these characteristics depict men as being “unemotional, independent,

non-nurturing, aggressive, and dispassionate” (Collier, 1998, p. 19). Connell and

Messerschmidt (2005) countered this viewpoint by reiterating that hegemonic

masculinity is a practical concept enabling men to protect male dominance over females

and, as such, there are a mixture of negative and positive actions.

The plurality of masculinities and the relationship that an adopted masculinity has

with fatherhood are important to the discourse on the negative externalities associated

with father absence. White (2006) offered a narrative study to explore how African

American feminist fathers challenge traditional patriarchal models of masculinity. She

acknowledged the construction of a dominant ideal of masculinity and agreed with

Connell’s (1995) stance that its perpetuation is particularly dependent on the patriarchal

dividend afforded to even the most marginalized male populations. White (2006) shared

a similar stance as Collier (1998) and described hegemonic masculinity as a

predominantly negative conception built on “rigid notions about what is manly…and the

repression of anything that seems feminine in men” (White, 2006, p. 45). Such rigid

definitions of manhood place pressure on men to conform to hegemonic forms of

masculinity and denounce nurturing fathering behaviors requiring development of

 50

associated emotional and psychological skills (Dowd, 2000; Newton, 2005; Risman,

1998; White, 2006; White & Peretz, 2010).

White (2006) cited several feminist scholars who all concur that assessing African

American fatherhood goes beyond hegemonic masculinity and the upkeep of patriarchal

models. For example, Roberts (1998) and Dowd (2000) stated that the institutional and

structural barriers placed before African American men, coupled with a blind acceptance

of hegemonic perceptions of masculinity, discourages African American men from

pursuing alternative approaches to fathering that are less rooted in traditional notions of

masculinity.

In her study, White’s (2006) stated purpose was to identify aspects of fathering

that challenge “traditional conceptualization of manliness, contest the narrow view of

father as a breadwinner, promote gender equity, and questions the use of corporal

punishment” (p. 49). The 14 participants in the study were self-identified feminist fathers

between 23 and 58 years old, representing a variety of marital statuses and sexual

orientations.

White (2006) captured the stories of participants via a single four-hour-long semi-

structured life history interview, and through her findings she identified five themes that

were important to feminist fathers. All narratives emphasized fathering as a relational

experience and rejected myths that men could not be nurturers, “cry, comfort children, or

admit vulnerability” (p. 55). White (2006) also found from the narratives that all

participants raised their children to be politically aware and prepared to counter effects

and perceptions of racism, sexism, and heterosexism from influences external to the

household. With respect to corporal punishment and its prevalence in African American
 51

homes (Strauss & Stewart, 1999), White (2006) found that feminist African American

fathers avoided any use of physical discipline, opting for more nurturing and redirecting

alternatives.

White (2006) concluded that African American feminist fathers reject norms of

hegemonic masculinities and traditional gender-role prescriptions without absolving

themselves of financial responsibility for their children. Another interesting conclusion

was the observation that “when fathering is tied to traditional definitions of manliness

that focus on the proof of virility through the production of a child, caretaking and

nurturing becomes irrelevant” (White, 2006, p. 62). The study showed how traditional

masculinity may unintentionally encourage paternal apathy and father-absence by placing

undue pressure on men to conform to a dominant masculinity which in turn induces

stress, fear, and feelings of inadequacy (White, 2006; White & Peretz, 2010).

The link between masculinities and fathering is impacted by other institutional

and structural factors that either enhance or impede men’s ability to adopt alternative

approaches to fathering not necessarily aligned with those typically prescribed by

traditional masculinity. Williams (2009) conducted a phenomenological study

investigating the lived experiences of fathers with respect to gender and ethnicity. A

purposive sample included 13 experienced fathers between the ages of 27 and 48 from a

city in the United Kingdom. There were seven Caucasian and six Afro-Caribbean men,

each of whom participated in two semi-structured interviews.

Williams’ (2009) findings aligned with assertions by Lupton and Barclay (1997)

as he found that participants in the study celebrated paternal involvement and

championed expressions of love and affection. The study also revealed that ethnic
 52

identification and racism had significant influence on men’s approaches to fathering,

further evidencing the claims by earlier feminism theorists about the impact of structural

and institutional factors on the relationship between masculinity and fathering (Dowd,

2000; Roberts, 1998). Williams (2009) concluded that while all fathers benefit from

presumed leadership and unequal domestic roles, minorities experience marginalized

masculinity where racism or expectations of racism play a significant role in their

fathering (Williams, 2009). The findings in the UK-based study parallel the predominant

finding by researchers in the U.S. that African American fathers struggle to perform the

provider role (Bowman & Forman, 1997; Cochran, 1997) due to systemic racism and

socioeconomic disparities (Collins, 2004) influencing the context of masculinity and

fatherhood.

Williams (2009) found that the most significant difference between the Caucasian

and Afro-Caribbean groups in his study was the impact of ethnicity on Afro-Caribbean

participants and the discovery that ethnicity had no bearing on the lived experiences of

Caucasian fathers in the study. Both groups shared a similar stressor as they both

referenced the conflict between domestic life and the demands of paid work. The Afro-

Caribbean linkage with ethnicity and the conflict between fathering and work are

representative of American patriarchal norms. These norms characterize good fathering

as being an economic provider, despite the multi-decade disparity between African

American unemployment rates, wage levels, and education and those of their Caucasian

counterparts. The disparity has been upheld since slavery and continues to impact the

self-perception of marginalized elements of the Black male population (Oliver & Shapiro,

1995).
 53

The conclusions drawn by Williams (2009) indicate participants took liberty in

rejecting some tenets while remaining bound by other aspects of hegemonic masculinity.

Williams’ (2009) findings supported the contentions by Connell (1995, 2005) about the

dynamic and contradictory nature of masculinities. They also placed the spotlight on

existing literature that identified a paucity of emotionality as a concern of contemporary

masculinities (Seidler, 1994; 1997). Although the study was conducted in the United

Kingdom, Williams (2009) claimed it was relevant to the American experience and

context. His assertion is evidenced by the similar sociocultural and contextual

implications to masculinity and fatherhood, as well as the existence of similar findings in

U.S.-based studies performed by researchers like White (2006).

The social construction of both fatherhood and masculinities and the perceived

linkage between the two indicate that “any redefinition of fatherhood simultaneously

redefines notions of masculinity…and shapes what are considered appropriate manly

behavior among fathers” (White, 2006, p. 45). Furthermore, Connell and Messerschmidt

(2005), key supporters of the notion of hegemonic masculinity, conceded that the plural

“masculinities are not simply different but are also subject to change” (p. 835). A

consequence of the changeability of masculinities and the impact of changes in the social

construction of fatherhood on masculinity is increased research in the creation of

masculinities considered more appropriate to fathering and more beneficial to children.

Gavanas (2004) offered an ethnographical study of the culture of the Father

Responsibility Movement (FRM)—a network of fatherhood organizations focused on

paternal marginalization, feminization of the family, and re-masculinization of

parenthood. Gavanas (2004) leveraged empirical data from “interviews and ethnographic
 54

fieldwork” (p. 248) conducted from 1997 to 1998 but provided very little detail on the

participants in the study. The key research question Gavanas (2004) investigated was the

feasibility of domesticating masculinity while simultaneously masculinizing domesticity.

A domesticized masculinity contradicts some of the tenets of hegemonic masculinity as it

disrupts the inequality in domestic roles between men and women (Williams, 2009).

Galvanas (2004) found that the FRM was split into two factions. The “fragile

families’ faction” embraced masculinity and fatherhood through breadwinner-capabilities

and focused on improving the “marriageability” of poor, minority men (Gavanas, 2004,

p. 250). Their focus was synonymous with reversing the plight of marginalized men so

they could become deserving beneficiaries of “patriarchal dividend” (White, 2006, p. 45).

The “pro-marriage faction” reinforced “notions of gender difference in parenting that are

cemented in the institution of marriage” (Gavanas, 2004, p. 250). Gavanas (2004) found

that the FRM pursued tenets of hegemonic masculinity and a masculinity-fatherhood link

rooted in heterosexuality and constructed via differentiation from women at its core.

Gavanas (2004) concluded that attempting to embrace many of the behaviors and norms

associated with hegemonic masculinity dramatically eroded the feasibility of

domesticized masculinities. Primarily, Gavanas (2004) emphasized that attempts to re-

masculinize fatherhood through the exclusion of alternative masculinities and separation

from femininity are futile and only serve to embolden the challenges associated with

simultaneously masculinizing domesticity while domesticating masculinity.

In their rebuttal to the numerous critiques of hegemonic masculinity, Connell and

Messerschmidt (2005) pointed to widely accepted plurality and diversity of masculinities.

Such diversity is institutionalized in organizations like the military (Higate, 2003). The
 55

notion of multiple masculinities combined with the belief that these masculinities are

contextual and subject to change (Connell & Messerschmidt, 2005; White, 2006) is

clearly observed as members of the military leave the profession of arms and adapt to

civilian life again (Uhl, 2011).

Uhl (2011) presented a narrative study to investigate the role of masculinity in the

lives of ex-navy SEALs and the transformative experiences as they transitioned “from

extreme warrior to a satisfying civilian life” (Uhl, 2011, p. 78). SEAL training embraces

hegemonic masculinity and builds on the assumption that true men were strong,

aggressive, risk-taking, emotionally distant, and dominant over women. Participants in

the narrative study included 11 former Navy SEALs who spent less than 10 years on

active duty. In this study, Uhl (2011) alluded to four key factors contributing to

hegemonic masculinity: separation from one’s mother to build a masculine identity

(Connell, 2002); objectification of others as things to be competed against;

externalization of emotions as a form of subduing internal feelings; and task orientation,

which encourages dominance as a problem solving approach (Kilmartin, 2007).

All participants in the study were involved in multiple semi-structured interviews

aimed at capturing their stories. Uhl (2011) found that participants transitioning from

warrior to civilian life “had expanded…and had found new ways to express their own

concepts of being a man” (p. 155) differing from the hegemonic masculinity they once

embodied. He also concluded that hegemonic norms and traditional masculinities built

out of opposition to femininity are limiting and place significant pressure on men to

constantly prove their manhood (Uhl, 2011). Uhl’s conclusion was also supported by

White and Peretz (2010) who stated that the chase for patriarchal power hampers
 56

expressivity among Black men and ultimately results in feelings of inadequacy and

fear as they pursue a hegemonic masculinity that is predominantly white and inherently

unreachable by them. Uhl (2011) contended that the insights from the participants in this

study “open new ways to explore what is expected of men today” (p. 155).

The contextual nature of contemporary masculinities was further explored by

Gottschall (2009) who offered a hermeneutic study aimed at exploring mediated images

and representations of masculinity and fatherhood. The study included an empirical case

targeted at infusing practicality into the predominantly theoretical discussion undertaken

throughout the study. By using content analysis as the methodology, the researcher

analyzed magazine images to identify trends in expectations of masculinity. The sample

included issues from Esquire, Ladies Home Journal, Maclean’s, and Today’s Parent

magazine for the years 1960, 1965, 1970, 1975, 1980, 1985, 1990, 1995, and 2000.

Gottschall (2009) provided a comprehensive discussion of critical masculinity

theory in the last 50 years framed through three lenses. One lens on masculinity was the

socially constructed sex-role framework (MacKinnon, 2003). This framework celebrated

male dominance, a competitive spirit, career success, sexual prowess and a limited

display of emotion as traits of a real man. Trait-based and role-based masculinity was

rejected by Connell (1995, 2000, 2005) on the grounds that it depicted a singular

masculinity and lacked “ethnographic realism” (Connell & Messerschmidt, 2005, p. 832).

To supplant sex-role theory, Connell (1995; 2000; 2005) developed the early notion of

hegemonic masculinity and built on it to create a second lens of critical masculinity

theory that positioned masculinity as plural and contextual. The third lens on critical
 57

masculinity theory views it as in flux, contingent, multi-disciplinary, and affected by

media.

Gottschall (2009) anticipated that there would be a slow, steady movement of ads

overtime with broadening portrayal of men as nurturers and increasingly eroticized

representations of the male body. Contrary to his hypothesis, Gottschall (2009) found

there was no “sustained increase in depictions of men in the domestic realm” (p. 274).

Instead, images increasingly represented men in terms of little responsibility,

consumerism, and self-absorption and not in terms of “hard work, family, and

commitment to gender equality” (Gottschall, 2009, p. 275). Gottschall’s view aligns with

what Connell (1998) described as the emergence of the transnational business

masculinity, which he characterized as a declining sense of responsibility with

burgeoning egocentrism.

The literature reviewed thus far has considered the plurality of masculinities and

their susceptibility to change even though the hegemonic ideals of masculinity have

remained intact. By assessing the major critiques of hegemonic masculinity, Connell and

Messerschmidt (2005) identified elements of the concept that were eroding in relevance

in contemporary American society. It is also important, in the context of this study, to

understand how masculinity, and hence fatherhood, impacts the development of children.

Oransky (2011) provided a descriptive, quantitative study investigating the relationship

between endorsement of traditional masculinities and aggression among adolescent boys,

after accounting for the “general belief that aggression is normal” (Oransky, 2011, p. 63)

In the study, there were 213 predominantly white participants from sixth to eighth grade

from six schools in New Jersey and New York.

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To assess endorsement of traditional masculinity, Oransky (2011) utilized a 26-

item survey instrument– Meaning of Adolescent Masculinity Scale (Oransky & Fisher,

2009). Five other survey instruments were employed to measure proclivity toward

reactive aggression, tendency toward proactive aggression, the extent to which

participants believed aggression was normative, adolescent self-assessment, and peer

conflict. Oransky (2011) found the relationship between endorsement of traditional

masculinity and reactive aggression was significantly negative, after accounting for the

belief that aggression is normal. Oransky (2011) made a similar observation about

proactive aggression. He concluded there are some components of traditional male

norms that deter reactive aggressive behavior.

As with most correlational studies, there were significant limitations on

establishing causality among the variables considered in Oransky’s (2011) study.

Moreover, the homogeneity of the sample limited its generalizability, especially toward

lower social classes or minority populations. Nevertheless, the study showed that

traditional masculinity may not necessarily imply a bias toward more aggressive

behaviors. These findings are rather interesting and go against the viewpoints captured

by Kimmel (2000), who described violence as a consequence of hegemonic masculinity.

Kimmel (2000) stressed that men use violence as a means of proving their masculinity.

Kilmartin (2007) concurred and proposed that hegemonic masculinity encouraged

violence among men in 10 distinct ways (as cited in Uhl, 2011, p. 63). Foremost on

Kilmartin’s (2007) list was the idea that boys are forced to separate from their mothers to

build their masculine identity.

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The adoption of a male identity as part of a man’s personality development is a

critical aspect of masculinity studies. Considering the linkage between masculinity and

fatherhood, the process via which the adoption of a male identity takes place is

significantly important to the social construction of fatherhood itself. Hatcher (2011)

conducted a mixed-method study to investigate the relationship between perceptions

about African American adolescents’ male identity and student achievement. He

explored whether there was a statistically significant relationship between perceived

identity development status, high school GPA, and Standard of Learning (SOL) scores

among African American adolescent males. Hatcher (2011) also performed a qualitative

investigation of how African American adolescent males perceived their identity and its

impact on achievement.

Hatcher (2011) retrieved quantitative data from the student performance database

and a standard 14-question survey referred to as the Multi-group Ethnic Identity Measure

(MEIM-R). In the study, there were 127 participants from an urban high school in

Virginia. Hatcher (2011) conducted a semi-structured interview of 12 participants from

the sample to probe further into participants’ perceptions about racial identity. Of the 12

participants, Hatcher (2011) selected two who obtained the most extreme MEIM-R scores

for a follow-up interview.

From this research, Hatcher (2011) determined that there was a statistically

significant and practically valuable positive correlation between perceived ethnic identity

and student achievement. He used cumulative GPA and mean SOL scores as a proxy for

student achievement. Hatcher (2011) concluded that African American adolescent males

struggle to reconcile their perceptions of themselves with the predominantly negative

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perceptions others share of them. He deduced that parental involvement with African

American youth is important to identity development and student achievement within this

demographic. Interviewees with the lowest perceptions of identity were all from father-

absent homes, lending credence to the claims by Hrabowski, Maton, and Greif (1998)

about the importance of the father’s role in identity development and student

achievement.

Hunt and Hunt (1975) also conducted a quantitative correlational study to explore

how structural circumstances alter the effect of father absence on orientation toward

achievement and personal identities among Black males and White males. Although

their study was conducted more than two decades ago, the findings by Hunt and Hunt

(1975) are effective at guiding the discourse on structural circumstances and the adoption

of masculine identities among adolescent boys. For their study, 445 juniors and seniors

from the Baltimore public school system participated. Hunt and Hunt (1975) classified

the sample in terms of family structure and social class. The family structure

classification identified groups as being from a father-present or father-absent household.

They measured achievement orientation by assessing academic performance, educational

goals, and proclivity to marriage (Hunt & Hunt, 1975) and derived measures of esteem

and sex role identification.

Hunt and Hunt (1975) found that among the white participants, father-absence

significantly impacted educational achievement, orientation toward post-secondary

education, and orientation toward marriage. In contrast, father-absence had no important

impact on the same three measures among Black participants. Additionally, self-esteem

and sex role identification were negatively impacted by father absence among White boys
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while father-absence positively impacted sex role identification and self-esteem among

the Black boys. When including social class, Hunt and Hunt (1975) found that father

absence does not impact any one social class more than others for Black boys while it

disproportionately impacted identity among lower class White boys. At all class levels,

Black father-absent boys indicated higher self-esteem and sex role identification.

Hunt and Hunt (1975) concluded that father absence negatively impacts

achievement and identity among White boys but positively impacts these measures

among Black boys. The findings proved Hunt and Hunt’s (1975) “high-status

hypothesis” (p. 39) that father absence has a negative impact on achievement and identity

when “there are few extra-familial barriers to achievement” (p. 47). Furthermore, the

negative consequences of father absence are greater felt when fathers have the capacity to

be positive role models and effectively “perform the breadwinning function” (Hunt &

Hunt, 1975, p. 47). Thus, according to these findings, father absence perpetuated by

marginalized poor African American men who are placed at a significant breadwinning

disadvantage due to institutional barriers (Oliver & Shapiro, 1995) may not have as

significant an impact as it would among a demographic void of such barriers. In

situations where there are several other extra-familial barriers to achievement, like

dealing with social inequities, father absence does not have as significant an impact. The

findings from the study contrast with those from Hatcher (2011), who concluded that

adolescents from father-absent homes had a lower perception of masculine identity.

While the findings from Hunt and Hunt (1975) are strikingly different from those in other

studies, they are indicative of masculinity and fatherhood as loosely defined, historically

variable concepts (Connell & Messerschmidt, 2005).

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The influence of fatherhood on the self-image of adolescent boys provides

another lens through which the influence of masculinity on development may be gauged

and assessed. Beaty (1995) provided a descriptive quantitative study to investigate the

impact of father absence on adolescent males’ peer relationships and their “masculine

self-image” (p. 873). Participants belonged to a sample of 40 13- and 14-year-old boys

from a midwestern suburban area middle school. The sample included 59% Caucasian,

30% African American, and 11% Hispanic participants. Half the participants had

experienced father absence before five years old. Each participant rated other boys in the

study in terms of perceived masculinity and peer adjustment.

Beaty (1995) found that father absence had a profound impact on the sex-role

development and socialization of boys, a finding aligned with numerous previous studies

(Biller & Bahm, 1971; Hetherington, 1966; Lynn & Sawrey, 1959; McCord, McCord, &

Thurber, 1962). He utilized quantitative, socio-metric analysis to determine that father-

absent boys had a significantly lower masculine self-image and peer adjustment than their

father-present colleagues. Father-absent boys exhibit tendencies to be “dependent on

peers” and are “more ambiguous about masculinity” (Beaty, 1995, p. 878).

In a similar vein, Mandara, Murray, and Joyner (2005) offered a descriptive

quantitative study investigating how perceptions of masculinity among African American

adolescents are impacted by father-absence, family functioning, family income, and self-

esteem. There were 106 15-year-old participants of whom 25 were father-absent boys,

25 were father-present boys, 27 were father-absent girls, and 29 were father-present girls.

All participants came from high schools in four school districts in Southern California.

Mandara et al. (2005) leveraged pre-existing survey instruments: the Multi-Dimensional

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Self-Esteem Inventory (O'Brien & Epstein, 1988) to assess self-esteem, the Family

Environment Scale (Moos & Moos, 1986) to assess family functioning, and an Adjective

Q Sort adapted by the researchers to measure African American perceptions about

gender.

Mandara et al. (2005) found that father-absent boys had lower perceptions of

current masculinity than father-present boys. Also, results indicated that while income

was negatively related to perceptions of masculinity, family functioning had no effect.

From this, Mandara et al. (2005) concluded there was “something unique about everyday

presence” (p. 216) of fathers that influences their sons’ perceptions about masculinity.

Despite limited generalizability and the standard issue of causality attribution associated

with correlational studies, Mandara et al. (2005) confirmed the findings of similar studies

that preceded theirs. The relevance of their study to the issue of fatherlessness is the

conclusion that “the lack of everyday socialization from fathers place father-absent boys

at risk for not developing traits such as independence and assertiveness” (p. 218).

Fatherlessness, Competence, and Resilience Theory

The corroborated findings of several researchers indicated that the “reproduction

of fatherhood” is a valid construct (Townsend, 1998, p. 363). It embodies the notion that

key antecedents to father involvement are the attitudes and memories a father has about

his experience as the beneficiary of paternal involvement. Research shows that a high

level of paternal involvement has significant positive impact on the social, emotional, and

cognitive development (Lamb, Chuang, & Cabrera, 2005). High levels of academic

achievement, social maturity (Gottfried, Gottfried, & Bathurst, 1988), high levels of

sociability (Mosley & Thompson, 1995), fewer behavioral problems, and advanced
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personal maturity (Amato & Rivera, 1999) are just a few of the positive outcomes

research has shown are influenced by positive paternal involvement.

Conversely, fatherlessness has an overall deleterious impact on a wide range of

child and young adult outcomes (Allen & Daly, 2007). Academically, children

experiencing fatherlessness have a lower chance of satisfactory performance in school

(Hetherington & Stanley-Hagan, 1997; Kelly, 2000) and a greater chance of behavioral

struggles (Hetherington & Stanley-Hagan, 1997; Kelly, 2000) with paying attention,

disobedience (Mott, Kowaleski-Jones, & Mehaghan, 1997), and truancy (Allen & Daly,

2007). The impact of paternal absence lingers well into adulthood, as evidenced by the

fact that those who experience fatherlessness are more prone to be out of school or out of

work in their mid-20s (McLanahan & Sandefur, 1994).

The literature suggests a correlation between a lack in moral judgment (Hoffman,

1971), emotional adjustment, psychosocial adjustment (Hetherington & Stanley-Hagan,

1997; Kelly, 2000; Painter & Levine, 2000), and father absence. Boys are more apt to

develop unhappiness, sadness, depression, high levels of dependence, and hyperactivity

(Allen & Daly, 2007) when forced to grow up without a biological father, while girls tend

to develop challenges with anxiety and depression (Kandel, Rosenbaum, & Chen, 1994).

They are both prone to poor decisions with respect to peers (Mott et al., 1997) and are

more at risk of involvement in substance abuse during adolescence (National Fatherhood

Initiative, 2004).

Early exposure to sexual activity increases the probability of a greater frequency

of teenage pregnancies and early fatherhood among fatherless young women and men,

respectively. Furstenberg and Weiss (2001) found that young fathers who grew up in a
 65

residence without their father are less likely to live with their own children, while the

National Fatherhood Initiative (2011a) reported that those unfathered individuals are five

times more likely to be poor in their adulthood.

The evidence from the research strongly indicates that fathers who enter

adulthood having experienced a lack of paternal involvement or father absence are at a

marked disadvantage over their dual-parented peers. Void of a solid paternal model of

effective practices for a socially, emotionally, and cognitively healthy adult life, these

fathers are in turn prone to perpetuate the negativity of their experience on to their sons.

When a father’s attitudes and memories originate in an experience dominated by paternal

apathy or abandonment, he must overcome his experiential influence to be engaged,

available, accessible, and responsible with his own sons. Overcoming a lack of positive

paternal modeling and avoiding the negative outcomes accompanying fatherlessness are

both challenging and complex. Several factors are at play, but a man’s capacity for

resilience is one key determinant of successfully overcoming these challenges.

Luthar et al. (2000) described resilience as the “dynamic process encompassing

positive adaptation within the context of significant adversity” (p. 543). Hines,

Merdinger, and Wyatt (2005) offered another definition of resilience as “the process by

which individuals achieve adaptive functioning in the face of adversity” (p. 381). Masten

and Powell (2003) looked at resilience as “patterns of positive adaptation in the context

of significant risk” (p. 4), while Masten and Coatsworth (1998) referred to it as “how

children overcome adversity to achieve good developmental outcomes” (p. 205).

In recent years, there has been an emergence of resilience as a topic of interest to

researchers. Richardson (2002) asserted, “resilience has emerged as an intriguing area of

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inquiry that explores personal and interpersonal gifts and strengths that can be accessed

to grow through adversity” (p. 307). Richardson (2002) further emphasized resiliency

theory represents a deviation from the “problem-oriented theory” (p. 307) typically

discussed in psychology and represented a theoretical paradigm shift that “incorporated

post-modern thinking (p. 307). While many definitions of resilience as a theoretical

construct have been proposed, resilience, in general, refers to manifested competence in

the context of significant challenges to adaptation or development. Masten and

Coatsworth (1998) suggested there are two fundamental conditions that must exist when

identifying resilience as a deterministic factor of competence. First, the individual must

be in the presence of, or had exposure to, a significant threat typically characterized by an

at-risk status. Second, the individual must achieve high levels of positive adaptation

and/or development (Masten & Coatsworth, 1998) despite “major assaults on the

developmental process” (Luthar et al., 2000, p. 543).

Research on resilience in children and adolescents considered to be “at-risk”

primarily looks at youth who show academic, emotional, social, and cognitive

competence despite adversity and stress. Researchers in both popular and scientific

sectors are attracted to the odds-defying, adaptive quality of individuals who face “major,

often chronic, life stress” (Cowen et al., 1997, p. 565). By studying individuals’ capacity

for positive adaptation and by methodically “identifying pathways to resilient outcomes”

(Cowen et al., 1997, p. 565), the fields of psychopathology and social science stand to

benefit from enhancements in the body of theoretical work on resilience. Additionally,

understanding the factors that create the need for adaptation—the stressors, adversities,

and risks—as well as the factors promoting resilience and healthy adjustment are crucial
 67

in the development of preventative measures from a practical and policy standpoint

(Cowen, 1994).

Historically, the research on resilience focused on identifying the factors that

prescribe resilient outcomes and providing answers to “the ‘what’ questions about

resilience” (Masten, Best, & Garmezy, 1990). More recent research, however, deepens

the inquiry by searching for “mechanisms and processes that promote and maintain

resilient outcomes under stressful life conditions” (Cowen et al., 1997, p. 566). Masten

(2007) contended that developmental psychopathologists and social scientists alike

“recognized that understanding the processes involved in competence and

resilience…held the promise of informing interventions to promote better development

among high-risk” (p. 32) individuals in the future.

How does the concept of resilience, along with all its development outcomes,

overlap with the concept of fatherlessness and its outcomes? As mentioned above, the

foundational judgments of resilience are (1) exposure to threat, risk, or severe adversity;

and (2) the achievement of positive adaptation and competence in the face of such

adversity (Luthar et al., 2000). Considering these two conditions separately and testing

their applicability to fatherlessness provides a holistic view of the role resilience can play

in coping with father absence.

The National Fatherhood Initiative (2011a), in its report entitled The Father

Factor, demonstrated the universal impact of paternal absence. It highlighted the

assertion that nearly all the social issues facing America today (National Fatherhood

Initiative, 2011a) are directly or indirectly impacted by fatherlessness. The report

illustrated with empirical data how father absence and a lack of paternal involvement
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impacts issues of poverty, maternal health, child health, incarceration, crime, teen

pregnancy, child abuse, substance abuse, education, and childhood obesity (National

Fatherhood Initiative, 2011a). In the context of resilience, each of these factors presents

significant risk that could hamper the wellbeing and normal development of the

unfathered. Findings in existing research show that family and, in particular, parental

support are key factors associated with positive social, emotional, and cognitive

outcomes (Nettles, Mucherah, & Jones, 2000), further emphasizing the risk to which the

fatherless are exposed.

The second condition for resilience is positive adaptation in the face of adversity.

Researchers have found evidence from longitudinal data to suggest individuals who are

exposed to the same kind of risks can have highly differentiated outcomes (Masten,

2007). Masten (2007) noted that individuals from disastrous backgrounds were able to

develop high levels of competency and become emotionally, socially, and

psychologically healthy adults while others failed to positively adapt as they continually

faced challenges during their developmental process. The same holds true for individuals

who have experienced paternal absence and this is the fundamental premise upon which

this study is built. As the study of resilience evolved, researchers widened the scope of

study from being purely rooted in the science of mental disorders to a more cross-

disciplinary approach. Moreover, recent research on resilience advanced the need and

importance of studying positive life patterns as well as negative ones (Masten, 2007).

Richardson (2002) described the evolution of resiliency theory as occurring in

three waves. The first wave of inquiry into resilience centered on the paradigmatic shift

from looking at the negative factors contributing to psychosocial problems, to a

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strengths-based approach assessing how people dealt with adversity (Richardson,

2002). Richardson (2002) asserted that most of the early studies of resiliency sought to

provide some insight into the internal and external characteristics that marked people who

“thrived in the face of risk factors as opposed to those who succumbed to destructive

behaviors” (p. 308). A second wave of studies of resiliency theory focused on the

discovery of the process via which individuals achieve resilient qualities like self-esteem

and self-efficacy. Richardson (2002) stated that the final wave of research into resilience

theory positioned it as “a motivational force within every person that drives them to

pursue self-actualization and reintegration after life-disruptions” (p. 308). Each of the

themes from the waves of resiliency research is applicable to men’s response to their

experience of fatherlessness. Particularly, individual characteristics that may enable

some men to better deal with father absence and the process via which some men acquire

those characteristics are instrumental in understanding the differentiated behavioral

responses to the lack of a paternal model. Moreover, a thorough analysis of the factors

serving as motivational forces enabling reintegration after the experience of

fatherlessness may shed light on some key insights into the drivers guiding behavior

among men who experienced paternal neglect.

Richardson, Neiger, Jensen, and Kumpfer (1990) proposed a resiliency model

illustrating that individuals who are experiencing disruptions or reacting to life events

have the opportunity to consciously or unconsciously choose the outcomes of such

disruptions. Figure 4 shows the key components of the resiliency model defined by

Richardson et al. (1990).

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Figure 4. The resiliency model.

According to the model, one achieves a state of bio-psycho-spiritual homeostasis,

also referred to as the comfort zone, when one has adapted to one’s life situation.

Individuals continually face stressors, adversity, and life events threatening the status

quo. Richardson et al. (1990) asserted that repeated exposure to disruptions results in the

formulation of resilient qualities as individuals naturally attempt to deal with disruptions

and protect their state of homeostasis. Richardson (2002) stated that such “chronic

stressors befall people when they do not develop resilient qualities or have not grown

through the disruptions in their life” (p. 311).

In the proposed resiliency model, Richardson et al. (1990) illustrated

differentiated behaviors that individuals may demonstrate to achieve reintegration after a

disruption has taken place. To adapt in the face of adversity, individuals may exhibit
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behaviors of resilient reintegration. When this occurs, individuals develop some

insight and experience growth through an introspective process of identifying and

strengthening their collection of resilient qualities (Richardson et al., 1990). Some

individuals, on the other hand, may opt to simply move beyond the disruption and avoid

any adaptive changes to return to the status quo. Another response to disruption is to cut

one’s losses, while yet another is dysfunctional reintegration. According to Richardson

(2002), this latter response is replete with disruptive behaviors. The responses to

disruptions represented in The Resiliency Model inform the highly differentiated

behaviors displayed by men who experience the disruption of father absence. The

spectrum of behavioral responses ranges from “positive adaptation” (Luthar et al., 2000,

p. 543) resulting in growth—referred to in the model as resilient reintegration—to

behaviors like paternal neglect or abandonment of offspring—represented in the model as

reintegration with loss—to behaviors including substance abuse, crime, and violence—

depicted in the model as dysfunctional integration.

The research questions that this researcher seeks to answer will further the

qualitative understanding of the adversity and risks encountered by the unfathered. In

recognition of the need for positive life patterns expressed by resilience researchers, this

study will also derive a set of factors collectively contributing to positive adaptation and

achievement of high levels of competence among those who have emerged from father

absence. The literature suggests there may be a relationship between the factors

presented by Cabrera et al. (2007) in their model of father involvement and the factors

influencing resilience and competence among individuals exposed to adversity.

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Summary

The three streams for which the literature was reviewed included Paternal

Involvement and Essentialism, Resilience and Competence theory, and the socially

constructed Masculinity-Fatherhood Linkage. Each of these is closely tied to the issue of

fatherlessness. Paternal involvement, described in terms of the levels of engagement,

availability, and responsibility (Lamb et al., 1985) that fathers demonstrate to their

offspring determines the extent of father absence a child experiences. The literature

reviewed supports the assertion that the rearing history of a father can significantly

influence his own capacity for high levels of father involvement (Cabrera et al., 2007).

Such an influence constitutes the “reproduction of fatherhood” (Townsend, 1998, p. 363),

a construct connoting that fathers tend to father in the manner in which they were

fathered. From this construct, one can derive another entitled the “reproduction of

fatherlessness” which refers to fathers’ susceptibility to pass on the negative

consequences of father absence to their sons.

The literature also indicated that resilience theory was rooted in two conditions:

the exposure to adversity or risk and the ability to achieve positive adaptation and

development (Masten & Coatsworth, 1998) despite “major assaults on the developmental

process” (Luthar et al., 2000, p. 543). The statistics published by the National

Fatherhood Initiative (2011b) presented significant empirical evidence enumerating the

risks to which individuals who experience fatherlessness are exposed. Men exposed to

father absence meet the risk exposure pre-conditions for resilience. Primarily, this risk

lies in exposure to poverty, maternal health, child health, incarceration, crime, teen

pregnancy, child abuse, substance abuse, education, and childhood obesity (National
 73

Fatherhood Initiative, 2011b). Most importantly, the risks also include a lack of

paternal modeling of effective fathering and positive male citizenship (Renshaw, 2005)

between fathers who experienced father absence and their sons.

While a significant percentage succumb to these predispositions and experience

the associated negative outcomes, there are some who, despite their exposure to the same

risks, are able to achieve resilient outcomes with high levels of competence in the areas

of fathering and familial relationships (Masten, 2007). The positive adaptation achieved

through resilience may be indicative of a father’s ability to achieve adaptive change in his

life and in the lives of his offspring. The extent to which those who dealt with father

absence are able to resiliently reintegrate (Richardson, 2002), assimilate, and

accommodate (Glover, Friedman, & Jones, 2002) will determine their ability to maintain

alignment with their environment and drive sustainable systemic change (Senge et al.,

2008) into their families and fathering as a whole.

Many researchers concede that levels of father involvement, ranging from highly

engaged, available, and responsible dads to absent fathers, directly or indirectly

influences social, emotional, and cognitive outcomes in their children (Townsend, 1998).

Particularly with sons, low paternal involvement levels leave them prone to early

exposure to sexual activity which in turn places them at greater risk of early fatherhood

and a higher likelihood of being absent from their own children. This study sought to

deeply understand the lived experiences of men who experience father absence to shed

some light on how their transition to manhood and, more specifically, parenthood is aided

or hampered by the lack of paternal modeling. The study of resilience gives some insight
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into why there are highly differentiated outcomes for those who face similar risks

associated with father absence (Masten, 2007).

From the literature, the linkage between fatherhood and masculinity proves to be

a rich source of perspectives on the impact of shifting masculinities on fatherhood and

vice versa. The plurality of masculinity and the maintenance of the hegemonic ideal

indicate that fathers face intense external pressure to conform but have the ability to

leverage recently accessible opportunities to adopt alternative masculinities and different

approaches to fathering. While there are several flaws on both sides of the essentialism

assertion, both viewpoints celebrating the importance of a father in identity formation and

those questioning the need for a father who espouses elements of hegemonic masculinity

are valid in their own rights.

For this study, the systemic forces impacting issues of fatherlessness spanned

paternal involvement, resilience theory, and masculinity. They included the elements

constituting paternal involvement: engagement, availability, and responsibility. Other

key contributors to the patterns outlined in the literature include the factors presented in

the heuristic model of father involvement proposed by Cabrera et al. (2007). In this

model, researchers provided a complex network of factors playing a role in father

involvement. The forces of adversity, positive adaptation, and competence – all from the

Resilience Theory theme – are also a part of the systemic structures.

At the base of the Iceberg Model for accessing a current reality that was proposed

by Senge et al. (2008) are mental models. In the context of this study, this segment of the

model refers to core beliefs about fatherhood and its linkage to masculinities. It

represents the aspect of the analysis where there is the greatest opportunity for learning to
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take place. A systems view placing issues of fatherhood as a subsystem in a greater

system reveals more about the complexity of paternal absence. That which seems at the

outset to be a problem with isolated effects on a son of a father who experienced father

absence can quickly evolve, with deep inquiry, into something that goes beyond familial

concerns and impacts issues of masculinity on a far larger scale.

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Chapter 3: Research Methodology

Introduction

Understanding the differentiated behaviors of men who experienced

fatherlessness and the impact of their experiences on their approaches to fathering is a

crucial first step in addressing the passage of negative paternal behaviors through the

father-son relationship. Moustakas (1994) suggested that qualitative research provides

the ability to assess the “wholeness of the experience while searching for essences of the

experience rather than measurements and explanation” (p. 21). Gathering the meaning of

the experience of fatherlessness via descriptions from those who have lived through it is

imperative for gaining insight into the differentiated behaviors and outcomes among

them. Specifically, phenomenology captures the meanings and essences of individuals’

exposure to a phenomenon, which in this study is fatherlessness. This study sought to

capture the essences of men’s experiences with fatherlessness. It investigated their

transition from boyhood to manhood, their perceptions about masculinity, and the impact

of their fatherless experience on their own fathering responsibilities.

The three research questions this study sought to answer were as follows:

 What does the experience of transitioning from boyhood to manhood

in a father-absent household mean for males?

 How do men who experienced fatherlessness describe the intersection

between masculinity and fatherhood?

 How do men describe the relationship between their history of

fatherlessness and their attempts to father their own sons?

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This chapter describes the design and methodologies chosen for the conduct of

this study. It provides insight into the target population and the sampling method used to

select a sample of participants for the study. Thorough descriptions of the data gathering

methods are given, along with clear explanations of how the data were analyzed. The

chapter concludes with a summary of the ethical considerations taken into account as data

were retrieved from the participants and subsequently analyzed.

Research Design and Rationale

This study was conducted as a transcendental phenomenological study

(Moustakas, 1994). Creswell (2007) defined a phenomenological study as one that

“describes the meaning of several individuals’ lived experiences of a phenomenon” (p.

57). Van Manen (1990) described phenomenology as a means of “reducing individual

experiences with a phenomenon to a description of a universal essence” (p. 177). Farber

(1943) outlined the strengths of the phenomenological approach by describing it as the

“first method of knowledge” and a “logical approach…that identifies pre-suppositions”

(p. 58) and limits their influence on the research. Moustakas (1994) summarized

transcendental phenomenology as follows:

Phenomenology is a scientific study of the appearance of things, of phenomena

just as we see them and as they appear to us in consciousness. Any phenomenon
represents a suitable starting point for phenomenological reflection. The very
appearance of something makes it a phenomenon. The challenge is to explicate
the phenomenon in terms of its constituents and possible meanings, thus
discerning the features of consciousness and arriving at an understanding of the
essences of the experience. (p. 49)

This researcher captured participants’ first-person account of their life

experiences precipitated by their exposure to fatherlessness. The phenomenological

approach included three primary processes: epoche, phenomenological reduction, and

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imaginative variation. Each of these processes was a crucial element incorporated into

this study to ensure its reliability and the robustness of the analysis conducted.

Epoche is a process conceptualized by Husserl (1970), who is regarded as the

proverbial father of the phenomenological approach. He defined epoche as conducting a

study of lived experiences by first setting aside all suppositions and prejudgments.

Moustakas (1994) stated that epoche “is preparation for deriving new knowledge…by

setting aside predilections, prejudices, predispositions and allowing things, events, and

people to enter anew into consciousness, and to look and see them again, as if for the first

time” (p. 85). The process of epoche was of utmost importance as this researcher

bracketed his own experiences as a father of sons, who himself experienced

fatherlessness. The reality that the researcher supposedly knows as a result of mental

models and past experiences were appropriately “put out of action” (Moustakas, 1994, p.

90) as the researcher “openly received whatever appears in consciousness” (Moustakas,

1994, p. 90) through the communicated first-person lived experiences of participants. To

enhance the bracketing process, the researcher engaged in repeated episodes of reflection

that enabled him to suspend the influence of habits of mind, routines, expectations, and

preconceived notions and “perceive things with an open presence” (Moustakas, 1994, p.

89). The effective practice of epoche provided this researcher with a new vantage point

and a readiness to accept potentially new perspectives on the essence of fathering by

those who experienced fatherlessness. It set aside for this researcher the numerous

societal, scientific, governmental, parental, educational, and career influencers on

thoughts about fatherhood.

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Phenomenological reduction is a process that begins with a textual description

of the experiences gathered from the participants. Through this process, all comments

provided by the participants were treated with equal value and later reduced to

horizons—data elements relevant to the topic and research questions (Moustakas, 1994).

Further reduction consolidated horizons into themes and themes into a “coherent textual

description of the phenomenon” (Moustakas, 1994, p. 97) of fatherlessness. The process

of phenomenological reduction was crucial to the analysis of the data captured from

participants in this study. The initial placement of equivalent importance on all

participant statements was important for capturing the true essence of the fatherless

experience to the men in this study. This researcher, having put aside his own

preconceived notions, used this process to gain new insights into how participants

described their experiences with father absence or paternal apathy. Additionally, the

phenomenological reduction process includes a reflective process in which the researcher

connected the various perspectives captured through his “conscious experience”

(Moustakas, 1994, p. 93), ultimately unifying the disparate vantage points into a

comprehensive view of the phenomenon of fatherlessness.

Moustakas (1994) described the imaginative variation process as the mechanism

via which a researcher “derives structural themes from the textual descriptions captured

during phenomenological reduction” (p. 98). This researcher considered the phenomenon

of fatherlessness from “divergent perspectives” to adequately represent the factors

contributing to participants’ experiences with fatherlessness. To effectively perform this,

this researcher looked at fatherlessness from the vantage point of multiple stakeholders.

The mother in a father-absent household, the son of an absent father, and the son of an
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apathetic father are a few of those roles through which this study considered the

phenomenon of fatherlessness.

The primary reason for employing the phenomenological research design was the

desire to derive knowledge about fatherlessness primarily from the life experiences of

those who lived it. There is significant value in the stories and first-person accounts of

men who have navigated life, with varying outcomes, void of positive paternal influence.

The emphasis on bracketing the experiences of the researcher that is inherent in the

transcendental phenomenological approach is also an influential factor in the choice of

approach for this study, especially critical given this researcher’s own life experiences

with father absence. Researcher openness and suspension of any prejudgments of the

participants enables them to provide candid descriptions of their experiences.

Participants’ empowerment to share their lived experiences with this central phenomenon

led to the derivation of the essence of their experiences and further understanding of the

impact of fatherlessness on men’s parenting abilities.

Site and Population

Population Description

Creswell (2008) defined a population as a group of individuals who have the same

characteristic. For this study, the population comprised adult males who experienced

fatherlessness for five or more years when they were between the ages of 8 and 16 years

old. Aside from common exposure to fatherlessness, being fathers to sons was another

characteristic shared by the population. Creswell (2008) indicated that narrowing the

population by filtering based on selected criteria yields the target population for a given

study. For this study, the target population identified and actually studied included
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residents of the continental United States. There were no restrictions on race,

ethnicity, or socioeconomic status of participants.

From the target population, this researcher selected a sample of 36 participants via

a purposeful sampling mechanism (Patton, 2002). Merriam (2009) asserted that

purposeful sampling is a nonprobability sampling method allowing the researcher “to

discover, understand, and gain insight” (p. 77) into issues Patton (2002) described as

being “of central importance to the purpose of the inquiry” (p. 230).

Accumulating “information-rich cases” (Patton, 2002, p. 230) is imperative to

effectively addressing the research questions in this study. As a result, this researcher

employed two forms of purposeful sampling: maximal variation sampling and snowball

sampling. Creswell (2008) described maximal variation sampling as a “strategy in which

the researcher samples individuals that differ on some characteristic or trait” (p. 214).

Analyzing the widely varied instances of men who experienced fatherlessness and were

fathering sons of their own captures the core experiences and “central shared dimensions”

of fatherlessness (Patton, 2002, p. 234).

Consequently, the purposive sample included men who emerged from

fatherlessness and established healthy familial relationships, valued educational

achievement, experienced career progression, and were active fathers. On the other hand,

the purposive sample also included participants who struggled in the family setting, had

unstable careers, or underachieved educationally. Some participants were already

engaged in paternal behaviors that perpetuated fatherlessness through their own apathetic

fathering or abandonment of their sons.

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This study also incorporated the snowball sampling method. Through this

sampling method, this researcher leveraged participants and prompted them to identify

and refer any other men who they knew met the criteria for participation in this study.

Creswell (2008) suggested that the snowball sampling method is advantageous through

its ability to recruit a large number of participants.

Site Description

This study was not limited to participants located at a particular site or affiliated

with a given institution or organization. The purposive sampling mechanisms described

above—maximal variation and snowball—yielded participants for this study who had a

breadth of lived experiences that this study sought to explore. Interviews, observations,

and any interactions with participants took place at various locations that were selected

primarily at the discretion of the participants. Video-conferencing and teleconferencing

technology were employed to support data gathering from participants who were in

remote locations.

Site Access

With no designated site for the study, the researcher leveraged a rich professional

network as a starting point for soliciting participants. Additionally, invitations to

participate in the study were distributed in local community centers, churches, social

organizational meetings, and via social media.

Research Methods

Description of Method Used

Multiple methods of data collection were employed to capture the experiences of

the participants in this study. In addition to the verbalized experiences of the selected
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participants, the reliability and accuracy of their first-person accounts were enhanced

through the use of multiple data sources. The following sections provide detail on the

methods used for data collection in this study. To adequately assemble these stories, the

following methods of data collection were employed:

1. Semi-Structured interviews of participants,

2. Participant focus groups,

3. Researcher notes and reflections.

These approaches were crucial in capturing the lived experiences of the participants.

They also served as a means of triangulating the data captured to enhance its reliability.

One-on-one semi-structured interviews. One-on-one semi-structured

interviews were the primary mechanism used to collect the first-person accounts of

participants’ experiences with fatherlessness and its impact on their father-son

interactions.

Instrument description. Kvale and Brinkmann (2009) stated that the interview

conversation allows the researcher to learn about the “experience, feelings, and attitudes”

(p. xvii) of participants. In this phenomenological study, the researcher used one-on-one

interviews to question and listen to what participants described as their lived experience

with respect to fatherlessness (Kvale & Brinkmann, 2009). The interview participants

were encouraged, through open-ended questions, to expose and expand upon their

“dreams, fears, and hopes,” while sharing “their views and opinions in their own words”

(Kvale & Brinkmann, 2009, p. xvii) about how their life experiences affected their own

approaches to fatherhood.
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Each participant participated in a single semi-structured interview that lasted

between 50 and 90 minutes. During the interview, participants were prompted to recall

memories, emotions, and influential experiences from various segments of their lives.

Also, participants were asked to respond to open-ended questions targeted at eliciting

insight into their experiences with paternal apathy or paternal absence during their

adolescent years (see Appendix A). The researcher introduced questions to ascertain how

the participants perceived fatherhood and/or fatherlessness during this period of their

lives and what life experiences they believed could have been avoided or enhanced by

increased paternal involvement. The interview included prompts asking participants to

explore their adult life and how fatherlessness continued to impact their lives. The

researcher probed with questions aimed at capturing a deep understanding of how

familial relationships, parenting relationships, and professional relationships suffered or

were enhanced by participants’ experiences without a biological paternal influence.

Moreover, participants were asked to delve into the feelings they developed about

masculinity, self-worth, and personal ambitions that were impacted by the central

phenomenon in this study.

Participant selection. Thirteen interviewees were selected via the purposive

sampling methods—maximal variation sampling and snowball sampling—to cover a

wide range of experiences with fatherlessness and its life impact. Solicitations for

interviewees were circulated to local community centers, churches, social organizations,

and via social media. Selected participants were also asked to refer other men who met

the participant criteria.

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Identification and invitation. Upon selection, each participant for this

phenomenological study was invited to participate in a one-on-one introductory meeting

via telephone. During this meeting, participants were reminded of the purpose of the

study and the key research questions. Additionally, this meeting included a thorough

walkthrough of the consent letter to ensure each participant was aware of the limitations

and ethical considerations this study entailed. An interview was scheduled for a time

convenient to the participant.

Data collection. At scheduled interviews, participants were again oriented to the

consent form (see Appendix B) and asked to provide a signature to indicate their

understanding of the guidelines governing their involvement in the study. All interviews

were audio recorded. The researcher took copious notes during the interviews to capture

non-verbal cues indicative of the emotion of the participants at various stages throughout

the interview. Immediately upon completion of the interview, the researcher entered into

a reflective session during which he wrote a summary of the interview and noted his

overall perceptions about all that was witnessed during the interview.

Focus group, semi-structured interviews with participants. Two focus groups

comprising approximately 8 and 15 participants, respectively, were conducted. These

two-hour focus group interviews were used to collect further data about the lived

experiences of men who experienced fatherlessness and were fathers of sons. The focus

groups primarily focused on commonalities and stark differences among the experiences

described by the participants.

Instrument description. Focus group participants were prompted to respond to

similar questions to those posed in the individual interviews. One key difference was the
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addition of prompts asking focus group members to reflect on some of the comments

made by others and contrast them to their own individual experiences (see Appendix C).

The capture of these comparative perceptions added a dimension of richness to the data

gathered during the focus groups.

Participant selection. The two focus groups were assembled with participants

who responded to the solicitations on social media, local community centers, churches,

and social organizations. The grouping of participants into Focus Group A and Focus

Group B were primarily driven by convenience and availability of the participants.

Identification and invitation. All participants who responded to solicitations

were prompted to provide convenient dates when they could participate. Immediately

prior to the actual focus group interview session, the researcher reserved 15 minutes

during which participants reviewed and signed the consent letter (see Appendix B) and

the researcher addressed any ethical concerns voiced by participants.

Data collection. All focus group interviews were audio recorded. The researcher

took copious notes while conducting the focus groups to capture non-verbal cues at

various stages of the interview. Immediately upon completion of the interview, the

researcher reflected on what transpired and recorded a summary of the interview, noting

his overall perceptions about all that was witnessed during the interview.

Data Analysis Procedures

Moustakas (1994) and Creswell (2007) emphasized that phenomenological

studies require specific and highly structured methods of analysis. Moustakas (1994)

suggested the Stevick-Collaizi-Keen approach to analyzing phenomenological data. The

first step in analyzing the data captured in this study included the practice of epoche,
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during which this researcher’s experiences with fatherlessness and a personal account

of how it impacted his ability to father effectively were fully captured. Epoche was

performed as a means of “setting aside” (Creswell, 2007, p. 159) the researchers’

personal experiences so the focus during data collection was on the experiences described

by the participants.

Once all data were collected from the one-on-one interviews of participants, the

audio/video recordings were organized by participant. The recorded interview data were

professionally transcribed verbatim and checked multiple times for accuracy and validity

against the researcher’s written notes and the original recordings. Participants’ non-

verbal mannerisms during the interviews, which were captured in the researcher notes,

were clearly annotated in the transcripts, allowing the researcher to relive the experience

of interviewing each participant and enabling the recognition of subjects’ emotional

responses that were not obvious from the transcripts alone.

Transcripts were read multiple times to ascertain a “general sense of the data”

(Creswell, 2008, p. 250). After each reading, the researcher reflected and wrote a brief

summary of the experience of reading or re-reading the transcript. This reflective process

aligns with the process Moustakas (1994) referred to in his description of

Phenomenological Reduction as “looking, noticing, and looking again…to grasp the full

nature of a phenomenon” (p. 93).

Analysis of the transcribed interviews and focus groups utilized the process of

“coding” (Saldana, 2009, p. 2) the data. Saldana (2009) stated, “a code is a label that

symbolically assigns a summative, salient, essence-capturing…attribute for a portion of

language-based data” (p. 3). Three coding approaches were used to apply labels to the
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interview and focus group transcripts. The first approach to applying labels to the

transcripts was “structural coding.” Participants’ responses were appropriately labeled in

terms of relevance to a research question or element in the conceptual framework for this

study. Another coding approach was “descriptive coding” (Saldana, 2009, p. 70), which

was used to capture, “in a word or short phrase, the basic topic of passages throughout the

transcribed text” (p. 70). The third approach to codifying the data captured utilized the

“in vivo” (Saldana, 2009, p. 74) approach, in which each label consisted of “a word or

phrase from the actual language” (p. 74) found in the interview or focus group transcripts.

While manual coding was employed, the Dedoose software package version 4.5.98 was

utilized to categorize and identify horizons and themes from the transcriptions; this

allowed for comparisons of the codes derived, while adding further reliability to the

coding process.

The creation and application of the codes allowed the researcher to categorize the

labels applied and analyze these broad categorizations for the emergence of

comprehensive themes from the data. The data were reduced to a list of unique

statements relevant to the description of participants’ experiences with fatherlessness.

These unique statements, referred to as “horizons or meaning units,” were further

clustered into themes (Moustakas, 1994, p. 122), which were in turn used to derive

textural descriptions of “what the participants in this study experienced with

fatherlessness” (Creswell, 2007, p. 159).

With the themes established and the textural description created, this researcher

reflected on the textural descriptions emerging from the analysis to craft a “structural

description” (Moustakas, 1994, p. 122) of participants’ experiences. Finally, the textural

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descriptions and the structural descriptions were combined to provide a comprehensive

description of the “meanings and the essences of the experience” (Moustakas, 1994, p.

122) of fathering sons after fatherlessness. The steps taken to analyze data captured from

one-on-one interviews were applied to the data captured in the focus groups as well.

Ethical Considerations

As with all qualitative research, this study had numerous considerations requiring

the researcher’s vigilance for potential violations of ethical standards. The ethical issues

that may have arisen fell into the following categories: risk assessment, privacy and

confidentiality, informed consent, and researcher influence.

With a central phenomenon that is a sensitive issue, this study of fatherlessness

had the potential to evoke highly emotional responses among participants. Most likely,

the participants in this phenomenological study had strong passions regarding the topic as

they revealed deeply “intimate details and experiences of their lives” (Creswell, 2008, p.

239). There was a significant likelihood that reaching back into their pasts may have re-

opened wounds and caused pain that might have led to highly emotional responses.

Acknowledgement of this risk was absolutely necessary, especially given that this

researcher was not able or qualified to offer any advice or provide psychological

counseling. A mitigation step to address this concern was the stated assurance to

participants that they could withdraw from the interview at any point in time.

Additionally, participants were made aware of such risks via the consent statement and

were advised to seek professional counseling if they experienced an overwhelming

emotional reaction.
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Participants shared some experiences that were personally touching and

painful. Many of these experiences were private and some of them could be damaging to

the reputations of the participants. The protection of participants’ privacy and

confidentiality was therefore an imperative in the conduct of this study. Anonymity of

participants was a primary objective during the data collection and data analysis phases

of this study. Use of aliases and removal of identifying factors was performed to protect

the confidentiality of participants and their families.

All data captured during interviews were stored electronically on a password

protected disk. Upon completion of the study, all data will be stored for the period of

time mandated by the Drexel IRB policy. Similarly, any digitized version of artifacts

provided by participants will be destroyed.

Given the sensitivity of the central phenomenon in this study and the potential for

exposure to areas of emotional pain, informed consent by participants was of utmost

importance. It was absolutely crucial that the participants were fully informed as to the

purpose and key research questions for this study. Full disclosure was central to the

conduct of this study to ensure participants understood the importance of their

contributions. Such transparency was also valuable in earning the trust and support of

study participants while strengthening their passion for the value this study could bring to

the body of academic research and policy decisions.

Another important ethical issue that could have arisen in this study revolved

around this researcher’s influence on data collection and analysis. Having experienced

fatherlessness, this researcher has an intense passion for the topic that could influence the

relationship and bonds formed with participants (Patton, 2002). The formation of such
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bonds had the potential to influence respondents during interviews to introduce

inconsistencies or to neglect mention of critical parts of their story for fear they may

disappoint or impress this researcher. On the other hand, such researcher-trust was

critical in creating a safe and comfortable environment. To navigate this thin line

between researcher trust and unwanted researcher influence, participants were provided

with a clear definition of the researcher’s role in data collection. Additionally, a

comprehensive description of the researcher’s experiences with the central phenomenon

of fatherlessness was written to force reflection on the issue and set aside the researcher’s

viewpoints. Since the researcher’s perceptions could not be set aside in totality,

participants were made aware of the boundaries in the researcher-participant relationship

that were to be upheld during the data collection phase of the study.

A key step in ensuring the ethical compliance of this study was the completion of

the Drexel University IRB process. The process involved a complete and detailed

proposal to the IRB. The process ensures there was no threat of harm to the human

participants with whom this researcher interacted.

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Chapter 4: Findings, Results, and Interpretations

Introduction

The purpose of this phenomenological study was to explore the lived experiences,

attitudes, and perceptions about masculinity and fatherhood among a sample of men who

experienced father-absence in their formative years. The investigation sought to gain a

better understanding of how these experiences enabled or hampered participants’ ability

to model positive elements of manhood and fathering for their sons. It also examined

how the lived experiences of unfathered men contributed to their propensity to either

perpetuate generational fatherlessness or break trends of father-absence in their family.

This study included in-depth analysis of the differentiated behaviors that may be

demonstrated by men who experienced fatherlessness as they attempt to be positive

models for their offspring. The researcher believed that deep qualitative insight into the

phenomenon of fatherlessness among men would allow policy makers, educators,

program designers, members of the legal community, and social services providers to

operate from a more informed standpoint with respect to issues of masculinity,

fatherhood, and response to father absence. This chapter presents the key findings

captured from 13 in-depth, semi-structured individual interviews and two focus groups

comprising 8 and 15 additional participants, respectively. Copious notes taken by the

researcher were used to identify perceived emotions among participants during interviews

and focus groups, adding another dimension to the rich data retrieved. The data captured

in this study was voluminous, yielding numerous important insights into the lives and
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experiences of adult males who experienced fatherlessness for at least five years

between the ages of 8 and 16.

This chapter first introduces the reader to the participants in this study. After the

participant introductions, there is a summary of key findings supported by participants’

direct commentary on their lived experiences. The chapter culminates with

interpretations of the findings that establish potential meanings derived from participants’

perceptions and beliefs about their experience of fatherlessness.

Participants

All names used throughout this chapter are aliases chosen by the participants.

Participant 1 – Armando. Armando was a 40-year-old Caucasian man and

father to one son and one daughter. He recalled his exposure to father absence began at

the age of five years old when his parents divorced. He relayed the immediate

significance of his father’s absence and how it thrust him into a period of withdrawal and

introversion. Armando cited his father’s absence as a significant contributing factor to

his role as the male leader in his household from his early adolescent years. Obligated to

work to support his family from an early age, Armando indicated that his forced

maturation in the absence of his father caused him to formulate several perceptions of

masculinity and fatherhood. In spite of a challenging transition to manhood, Armando

was married and achieved a graduate level degree. He proudly described how he has

shaped his multi-job career as a college professor and corporate executive to

accommodate his family time, as opposed to shaping his family time to accommodate his

career. He insisted, “he did not want there to be any doubt that he was doing everything

he can for his family.”

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Participant 2 – David. David was a 52-year-old African American man and

father to two sons. David did not recall ever meeting or seeing his father throughout his

childhood or adolescent years. In fact, David painfully acknowledged that his first

physical encounter with his father was when he was 42 years old—a meeting in which he

stated to his biological father, “I’m not here looking for a father. I’m just looking for the

rest of my identity.” This event culminated a tumultuous period in which David

experienced extreme low periods of financial struggles, coping with rejection, and intense

drug abuse. He raised his teenage sons as a single father upon separation and ultimate

divorce from their mother. David earned a vocational certification and is a highly

acclaimed documentary and film maker.

Participant 3 – Hancock. Hancock was a 29-year-old African American man

and a father to two sons and two daughters. When Hancock was just two years old, his

father was incarcerated and he never saw his father again until he was 13 years old.

Incidentally, his mother was also absent during this period, and so Hancock was, as he

described, “in different foster care group homes and around a whole lot of different

random people.” His recollection of his childhood and adolescent years without a father

were summed up as a period filled with missed opportunities and a lack of direction,

limitations, or rules. Having fathered his first son at age 16 and his second son at age 17,

from two different mothers, Hancock described being desensitized to the issue of

fatherlessness and cited this nonchalance about being a father as a key contributor to his

own abandonment of his sons. Thirteen years after his first son, Hancock had two

daughters for whom he was present and available but still maintained minimal to no

contact with his sons. As a self-confessed member of the Bloods gang and a drug dealer,
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Hancock vehemently expressed his disdain and distrust of men when he stated, “I don’t

like dudes.” Hancock was convinced that the presence of an active father would have

been the key to an alternative path for his life that may have featured a college level

education and a career as a professional athlete.

Participant 4 – Jeban. Jeban was a 39-year-old African American man and the

father of two teenage boys. He described having only seen his father on fewer than 10

occasions in his entire life. Jeban grew up in an environment in which father absence

was a prominent phenomenon. As a star football player and Junior Olympic track athlete,

Jeban expressed the intense disappointment he felt as a teenager when his father was

never present at his sporting events. The disappointment and emptiness has stuck with

him even into manhood. Jeban described the transition from boyhood to manhood as a

series of phases that required the guidance of a father to “push you into the next phase of

your life.” Jeban mentioned a lack of guidance from a present father as key to his

ineffectiveness at dealing with females or resolving household conflict. Jeban was at one

point incarcerated and cited this period as one in which he discovered his spiritual

identity. Jeban divorced the mother of his boys and had a fiancé with whom he was

involved for three years. Despite his early academic challenges, Jeban successfully

completed his undergraduate degree. He acknowledged that his sons lived in another

state but was adamant that he was present and available to them through his daily phone

conversations and bi-weekly trips to visit them.

Participant 5 – John Q. John Q was a 36-year-old Afro-Caribbean. He was a

naturalized U.S. citizen who was the father of a seven-year-old son. John Q’s exposure

to fatherlessness began at the age of five years old when his parents separated. The
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immediate significance of his experience of father absence was rooted in the sudden

shift in his family structure from two constantly present parents to one in which only his

mother was present. John Q lauded the efforts of his single mother at teaching him about

being a man but, despite her efforts, he described an intense unfulfilled desire for the

male view. He indicated he would have been better able to internalize the many lessons

about being a man if the lessons were given from the perspective of a male who has

endured similar experiences. In his adulthood, John Q described a struggle with

resentment and anger. He discovered this struggle through professional therapy and

identified it was rooted in his fatherless experience. A college trained mechanical

engineer, John Q gave up his lucrative career as an engineer in the construction industry

to become a stay-at-home dad in order to be heavily involved in every single aspect of his

son’s life.

Participant 6 – Johnny Bee. Johnny Bee was a 42-year-old African American

man who was a father to five sons. Johnny Bee had only slight memories of his father

who abandoned their family to start another family elsewhere when Johnny Bee was just

five years old. Johnny Bee described a roller-coaster life that, without a father, led to

stints in juvenile detention centers and early exposure to sexual activity. The latter

resulted in his first son at age 17. Despite this unfortunate start to his manhood, Johnny

Bee took advantage of an opportunity to attend college and, in so doing, he too became

an absentee father. An epiphany toward the end of his college tenure forced him to

question the legacy that was left for him about fathering and contemplate the one he

would leave for his offspring. His epiphany brought a new focus to his life, allowing him

to begin repairing the relationship with his first son. Since then, Johnny Bee successfully
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pursued a graduate level education and developed a highly successful career. He is

married and, with his current spouse, fathered three more sons. As of the publication of

this study, his oldest son from a previous relationship was a senior, set to graduate from

college with an undergraduate degree.

Participant 7 – JP. JP was a 35-year-old Pacific Islander, originally born in

Guam, and was the father of two sons. JP recalled that, from the age of five until his

early teen years, his father was physically absent due to work obligations. He described

his father as emotionally distant though physically present during his teenage years. JP

described the longing he had for some affirmation from his father, who was never

forthcoming with any displays of affection, encouragement, or emotional support for JP.

JP sought that acceptance outside the home and ultimately became a member of the Crips

gang. He developed significant animosity for his emotionally disconnected father and

this led to anger issues. JP was divorced from his first wife, who was the mother of one

of his sons. He was engaged to the mother of his youngest son. After the birth of his first

son, JP’s lifestyle of drugs and violence led to his incarceration. At the time of this

research, JP was on parole after a five-year stint in prison. JP outlined how he learned

many life lessons from prison. Particularly, he described “learning the man code from

being in prison and jail…what a man’s supposed to be.” Due to his imprisonment and

travel restrictions, JP had little to no contact with his first son. He painfully stated, “I

think I’m gonna have a lot of footwork to do in that relationship with my older son

because all he knows is his mom, and I’m pretty sure he’s got a lot of questions about

me.” JP acknowledged that he shut down emotionally as a result of all the pain he

endured and had tried without success to become more emotionally expressive.
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Participant 8 – Luis. Luis was a 37-year-old Hispanic man who fathered six

children, three of whom were sons. Luis’ experiences with fatherlessness commenced at

the age of five when his parents divorced. His father died tragically in an oil tanker

explosion three years after the divorce, but Luis admitted he “had lost his father long

before” his death. He described adolescent years during which he missed the

companionship of a male figure and ended up using illegal drugs. Luis was divorced,

with three of his six children—two daughters, one son—being products of his first

marriage. He shared that he had little to no contact with any of his three eldest children.

He described being rather resigned to the paucity of communication with his first three

children and aptly described his fathering experience when he nonchalantly stated, “I lost

three, but I got three [more].” Luis admitted he was guilty of committing physical

violence similar to that which he witnessed his dad exact on his family.

Participant 9 – Malcolm. Malcolm was a 47-year-old African American man

who was father to four sons. He described the unfortunate experience of witnessing the

murder of his mother at the hands of his father at the age of 12. The loss of his mother,

which in turn resulted in the incarceration of his father, represented a sudden change to

Malcolm that has been a central incident in his life ever since. Malcolm described his

adolescence, transition to manhood, and unusual path to fatherlessness as experiences

that caused him to have numerous unanswered questions, as he could not fathom “why

my father did what he did, and I could not…I could not, uh…I couldn’t get it.” He

described an intense fear of fatherhood and “being like my father.” As he transitioned

into adulthood, Malcolm developed an intense passion for a concept he described as

“reconciliation.” He ardently described this term as true forgiveness that occurred when
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one sought to gain an understanding of something or someone he rejected. The

crowning moment of Malcolm’s journey as a father was when he was able to walk his

sons’ “grandfather through the front door for them to see him.” He expressed absolute

pride at his ability to model forgiveness of extreme order for his sons to follow. Malcolm

divorced his first wife with whom he had two of his four sons. He was a college graduate

and acclaimed film maker who dedicated his talents to developing an understanding

about fatherhood and reconciliation.

Participant 10 – Que. Que was a 52-year-old African American man and father

of a seven-year-old son. His father abandoned him at the age of four years old after the

relationship with Que’s mother ended. Que described a rather turbulent adolescence

during which he lacked the direction and guidance he needed. As a student athlete, he

described having no male figure present to assist him through his decision making about

college. Que joined the military at age 18 and had a lengthy career. He acknowledged

that the exposure he gained in the military was really what he envisioned would be

provided by a father. Que described a transition to adulthood involving struggles dealing

with females and approval-seeking tendencies. He attributed both to the absence of a

male model to actively teach him how to interact with ladies and provide the affirmation

necessary to build self-confidence. Que divorced the mother of his son but served as the

primary caregiver for his seven-year-old boy.

Participant 11 – Rich. Rich was a 38-year-old Filipino man who was a father to

three sons. Rich’s father abandoned his family upon hearing the news that his girlfriend,

Rich’s mom, was three months pregnant and expecting a son. Consequently, Rich had

never in his life seen or spoken to his father. He painfully recalled the profound
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collection of emotions he experienced as an adult during a conversation with his

mother in which she stated, “I love and appreciate you and I do not regret the decision not

to abort you or give you away. Your dad wanted to have an abortion, but I said no. You

know, I stuck to my guns.” The feeling of being unwanted was the primary emotion Rich

attributed to the relationship with his father. Rich described his adolescent years as

“being a loner” and considered the lack of affirmation from his father as one of the

biggest disadvantages in his transition into manhood. To gather the knowledge and what

he cited as the “attributes that…define a man,” Rich joined the United States Marine

Corps and suggested that the Corps taught him many of the lessons he would have

expected to learn from his father. Rich was married and divorced twice, and at the time

of this study was set to be married for the third time. His younger sons—three-year-old

twin brothers—were from his current fiancé, while his eldest son was from a previous

marriage. Although there was a relationship, Rich spoke regretfully and was visibly

disturbed by his lack of presence in his first son’s life. Driven by his views of

masculinity, his belief in a man’s role as a provider, and his constant search for approval

and recognition, Rich admitted he was a workaholic who hoped someday to achieve the

balance he thought would make him far more successful as a father.

Participant 12 – Robert. Robert was a 36-year-old African American man

whose father abandoned him at the age of seven when his parents divorced. He recalled

the significance of his father’s absence taking root at age 11 and described periodic

sightings of his father between the ages of 6 and 12 years old. Robert also experienced a

trying adolescent period as he navigated the entry into manhood with questions about the

departure of his biological father. However, Robert had an outlet. As a star athlete, he
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had an entity that absorbed most of his focus. Despite this, he still had a few

encounters with the law and was labeled a juvenile delinquent. Robert was now father to

a seven-year-old son but shared custody with his son’s mother, with whom he was no

longer involved. He claimed to be an active father who vowed “never to leave this kid’s

side no matter what happened” in the romantic relationship with the mother. Robert

pursued education at the graduate level, was very active in his local community, and had

a successful career in the pharmaceutical industry.

Participant 13 – Tony. Tony was a 57-year-old African American man who was

the father of three sons. He recalled seeing his father no more than three times

throughout his entire life. Tony spoke with admiration about his mom, who did the best

she could to teach him about becoming a man. Despite his gratitude for the efforts of his

mother, Tony admitted that she could never provide the male perspective, something he

sought outside the home and through the media. He mentioned that his fatherless

experience forced him to step up as the leader of the household during his adolescent

years and direct his siblings and act as a source of discipline. Tony also turned to the

military which “helped show me pretty much how to be a man.” Tony married only once

and has had a long, healthy relationship with his wife. He described the household in

which he fathered his children as one allowing for emotional expression and exposure to

multiple experiences.

Focus Groups

This research study also involved the conduct of two focus groups. Both focus

groups were diverse, comprising 8 and 15 participants, respectively. Figure 5 shows the

breakdown of focus group participants.

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East Indian

Pacific Islander

Asian

African…

Hispanic

Caucasian

0 5 10 15

Figure 5. Focus group participant demographics.

Findings

The perceptions, fears, and emotions about parenting held by fathers who were

previously exposed to father absence or paternal apathy are significantly impacted by

their own experiences of fatherlessness. Men who endured significant portions of their

youth without the continuous presence of the biological father are left with numerous

unanswered questions about their own worth, the part they played in paternal

abandonment, and self-doubt about their approach to fathering. Indeed, an overwhelming

majority of the participants in this study were abandoned by their biological fathers at

rather tender ages and left with a single mother. One participant was actually abandoned

by both parents and was absorbed by the foster care system for most of his years as a

minor. A thorough inductive analysis of the data captured from the participants allowed

for the emergence of eight main themes. Figure 6 illustrates the formation of horizons

and themes from the data captured.

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Figure 6. Inductive analysis of codes to derive horizons and themes.

Participants’ communicated experiences were distilled into themes capturing the

essence of how fatherlessness impacted their transition from boyhood into manhood

without a father, their perceptions about masculinity and fatherhood, and their experience

of fathering boys. The eight emergent themes are:

1. The overwhelming majority of participants expressed the perception that the

impact of fatherlessness as an adolescent was at the core of prolonged life

challenges.
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2. All participants indicated their experience of fatherlessness led to an intense

resolve to be more effective at fathering.

3. An overwhelming majority of participants described the experience of

fatherlessness during their transition from boyhood to manhood as one that left a

void that could not be filled by substitutes.

4. Participants indicated the fatherless experience was instrumental in shaping their

development as an emotional being.

5. A majority of participants communicated their lived experiences made them more

susceptible to behaviors that repeated elements of their fatherless experience for

their sons.

6. All participants communicated the belief that the most important role of a father is

that of teacher and model.

7. A majority of participants shared a personal discomfort with the expression of

emotion but believed they had to teach their sons to be comfortable with

expressing their feelings.

8. The majority of participants sought or desired emotional closure from their

experience of fatherlessness through a re-established relationship with their

fathers.

The following sections provide an in-depth discussion of each of the fore-

mentioned findings and form the evidentiary foundation upon which cogent

interpretations of the findings were constructed. The researcher utilized “rich, thick

description to enable the transferability of the findings” (Merriam, 2009, p. 227). Such

rich descriptions provide context for a vast array of lived experiences described by the
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research participants. Excerpts from interview transcripts introduce the voice of the

participants and offer insight into their emotions, opinions, fears, and deep-rooted

perceptions about their exposure to fatherlessness. Moreover, the highly descriptive

representation of the findings enables the reader to empathetically experience the richness

of the participants’ realities as they relate to transitioning from boyhood into manhood.

Researcher notes are seamlessly interwoven into the discussion to augment it, strengthen

its validity, and enhance the importance of contextual factors.

Finding One: The overwhelming majority of participants expressed the perception

that the impact of fatherlessness as an adolescent was at the core of prolonged life
challenges

One of the primary findings of this study was the perception by participants that

fatherlessness was a significant contributor to prolonged life challenges they encountered.

While participants indicated that fatherlessness was far-reaching and continually

impacted multiple aspects of their lives, there were six significant types of lifelong

challenges that surfaced. The first challenge, as expressed by the majority of participants

(9 of 13 [69%]), was the perception that they were thrust into adulthood rapidly and, as a

result, were forced to deal with adult challenges from a rather early age.

Early exposure to adult challenges. One participant, Tony, described the

scenario in his household in which he was forced to play the role of father:

I had to pretty much step up as an adolescent, especially being the head of the
household as the oldest son. I felt like I had to take the role of, uh…I guess being
the dad that wasn’t there. I mean, in a sense…I would always correct and,
uh…try to direct my younger siblings. (Tony)

He further described how, in his early boyhood, he had to accept the domestic role

typically perceived as that of the adult male in the household. He stated:

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So I always kind of took that role on early, because I was growing up, uh...we
had like a coal stove. I would go out in the winter and shovel coal. I would clean
up, you know, things around the house. I became really good with my hands. So
I learned those things early on. And that was just being responsible…It made me
more responsible knowing that there wasn’t a dad there. (Tony)

Johnny Bee shared the similar experience of being the eldest child in a fatherless

household and carrying the burden of the role of father figure. As he described his

experience, his body language and tone conveyed his feeling of regret about his

experience. His conversational engagement noticeably faded for a brief moment as he

was mentally taken back to this period in his life—his early teens—when his siblings and

mother depended heavily on his leadership in the household.

I guess maybe just having to be the man of the house at a very, very early age,
you know…Having four siblings…Four of us in the house. Somebody’s got to
step up and be that man role. You know, for my younger siblings, for those
outside of the household, me being the protector, being the fighter, um…So it just
makes you have to be a little stronger…than you probably would be…makes a kid
grow up faster than he should. (Johnny Bee)

Some participants, in describing the increased role they played as leaders in the

household, outlined their experiences of having to make significant financial

contributions to their family unit at a rather tender age. Armando indicated that even in

his pre-teen years, his fatherless household relied on his ability to provide financially and

materially. Given his intentionality in his own presence for his household, Armando was

visibly disgusted by the thought of an 11-year-old having to work and support his family.

I didn’t have a role model, but also I felt from my personal perspective that I had
to assume a role not unlike that of a parent in my household very early on. Just
anecdotally, due to a variety of circumstances, I was working and providing my
family with money to pay bills when I was 11 and that was true every summer
through high school…I literally had to have money to give to my mom and
stepfather to do things like pay the mortgage, pay the car payment. I had to buy
us a refrigerator. We had one that was broken for, gosh, I think the better part of
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two years, and we didn’t get a new one until I came up with the money
working in the summer and said, “That’s it. I’m done. We need a refrigerator.”
(Armando)

In addition to being thrust into the role of father and leader in the household at

rather early stages of their lives, participants also described the experience of having to

seek knowledge on their own. They outlined how the void in male guidance created by

fatherlessness was another factor that thrust them into making adult choices they were ill

prepared to make. JP displayed his frustration and aptly captured this concept in this

statement:

Even with two older brothers in the picture, it’s like they didn’t wanna be there to
guide me or nothing like that, so it’s like the only one that was really a guide in
my life was myself. So like I said, I really had to put the pieces together myself,
figure it out, and I had to grow up as a man at an early age. So I was
really…fending for myself when really I shouldn’t have…making adult decisions
at a time when I should have just been footloose and fancy free as an adolescent.
(JP)

Que shared his experience of having little direction in the face of important life-

changing decisions. He shook his head and flailed his arms as if to ask, “what am I

supposed to do?” Que expressed how the lack of adult male guidance and direction

impacted one critical decision in his life that may have changed the entire trajectory of

his adult life—that of college selection. When prompted to describe his experience as an

adolescent without his father, Que provided the following response:

No direction! No direction! It was like, okay, I was an athlete, and I was getting
letters as a 10th-grader from colleges—UCLA, Xavier, Occidental—on track,
specifically, because they were recruits wanting to come out and see me. And so
I asked my mom, “What do I do? All these people are coming out and watching
me…I don’t know nothing about college.” And she was like, “I don’t know.
Figure it out.” And so I was like, “if I had a dad”…because my father was a star
athlete too…in track. I found that out through relatives and stuff. And he
was…you know, basically like me, or I was like him. So I thought if I could
talk…if I could just talk to him, he would know what to do. And I couldn’t and I
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didn’t. And so it was like, I’m going into the military then because even
though I had these colleges wanting to see me, wanting to talk to me, coming to
the house…and sending me stuff…it was overwhelming because I didn’t have the
exposure…or the experience. So, it was like…missing that direction in my life.
It felt like a stumbling block. (Que)

The perception among participants that they were forced to grow up quickly as a

result of fatherlessness was also reflected in their recollection of their experiences of

prematurely becoming fathers themselves. Some participants (3 of 13 [23%]) recalled

adolescent years when their involvement in sexual activity led to the conception of a

child. Armando described this scenario as one of the lowest points of his life and one

during which he believed his father’s presence would have made a significant difference.

I think in my life up to this point, probably one of the low points for me that I
really felt like I needed a father around was when I got my girlfriend pregnant
when I was 16. She ended up having an abortion. That was not my choice, but I
certainly respected hers…I felt very, very alone. And I really felt as if I needed
some sort of guidance or counsel that I was not going to get from my mother.
Nothing against my mother, of course. (Armando)

Hancock, a 29-year-old man, fathered his two sons when he was 16 and 17 years

old, respectively. When prompted by the researcher to identify how the presence of a

father during his teenage years may have altered his life, he cited several ways in which

he perceived that his life would have been different if he had a strong paternal influence.

In his response, he included matriculation from a four-year university and the pursuit of a

professional career as an athlete. Hancock also responded, after some deep thought, that

“if I had had kids, they would have been one, two, or three right

now…toddlers…toddlers only.” He strongly believed that a father’s presence would

have precluded him becoming a teenage father.

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Another participant, Johnny Bee, spoke passionately of early fatherhood and

how the absence of his father contributed to his lack of understanding about the value of

his own presence as a father. He stated, “In high school, I wound up having my first

child…And not having a man in my life and…not understanding the value of being there

and the importance of being there.”

Coping with difficult times. The prolonged life challenges participants

perceived to have resulted from the absence of their father also included their views on

coping with hard times. More than half the participants (7 of 13 [54%]) indicated that

father absence meant a lack of direction which in turn translated into the lack of someone

to model how to navigate difficult periods in their lives. Luis described his own

indecisiveness in the face adversity:

It was a mess not having my dad. It was a mess because…my dad was more
strict. I think if he would have been...around, I would be different. I think I
would be successful. Look at how my life is right now. I’ve gone to jail twice,
made bad decisions, but my wife…It’s not her fault. It’s my fault...I blame
myself because I allow her to be around me. If I get in trouble again, it’s not her
fault, it’s my fault…I know what I need to do, but I don’t do it. (Luis)

The researcher observed that while making this statement, Luis was noticeably disturbed

and flustered by his perceived inability to deal with the complex challenge before him.

Another participant, Rich, contemplated the lack of direction he experienced in a

fatherless household, stating:

When you don’t have a reference or baseline to go off of…you’re going to

fail…When you have a father figure who sometimes guides you in a certain
direction…you’re a little bit fast-tracked. So I would say, like, um, I would have
been more fast-tracked. Life probably would have been a little bit easier for me.
But the fact that I wasn’t fast-tracked and I always took the bad path, [laughs] the
wrong path, it made my journey a lot harder, a LOT harder. (Rich)
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Participants also highlighted that the perception of having no direction not

only impacted their adolescent years but also went on well into their adulthood. David

expressed his awareness of his potential but also his lack of preparation for advancing

through a difficult period during his adolescent years when he was trying to determine

what the next steps in his life would be:

The Superman that was in my mind of who my biological father was, even, even
if he was there…because I felt inside there was a lot of potential in me. But I
didn’t know where to go. I didn’t know how to get where I was trying to go. And
education wasn’t pushed and forced or even talked about in my home. (David)

Other participants stated that in dealing with challenging times, they ended up

hurting others around them and suggested that a father’s presence would have taught

them to navigate adversity in a healthier manner. Johnny Bee strongly believed he would

have benefited from his father’s advice during challenging times and expressed this in the

following manner:

I think I would have hurt a lot less people in life. I think I’ve had to learn way too
many lessons the hard way. And I think if I was fortunate enough to have had a
father there, I probably would have learned those life lessons early on, without
having to learn them the hard way...the value of money…the value of respect…I
had no consequences to my actions. I could do whatever the heck I wanted to,
because there was no one there to reprimand me. I think if I would have had that
earlier on, I think I probably would have...maybe been…a better friend to others.
I think I probably would have been a more model citizen at an earlier age…And
not to say my mother couldn’t have taught me some of those things. I just didn’t
get those. (Johnny Bee)

The ability to cope with hard times transcended the adolescent and manhood

phases of some participants’ lives. Jeban captured the viewpoint shared by several other

participants when he described how father absence impacted how he approached

challenges in his life. When prompted to describe how father presence would have

changed his life, he energetically responded with the following:

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I don’t know about you, but sometimes I want to talk…just about issues that I
deal with as a man. And when you don’t have that, that person to confide in, uh, a
person that understands what you’re going through…And I think that’s the
biggest issue. I was talking about them steps to becoming a man. And, and even
in one of those steps is being a man and being an old man. And a lot of times,
men are 30, 40, before they get older men, we always tend to seek wisdom from
older people. And I never had that, that man that could teach me stuff that I can
draw from. I never had that. And so men would come in and out of my life in
seasons. And that’s the struggle in my life at times. And so I never had that
consistency of a man to be there. No matter how much I wanted it, it was never
there. And so when you don’t have it, and you want to talk to somebody about it,
it’s so hard. (Jeban)

Armando recalled an incident during his early adulthood when he sustained a

terrible back injury whilst at work. He described the difficulty of working with workers’

insurance and the emotional toll it took on him when he believed his integrity about his

injury was being questioned:

I was injured on the job when I was…about 23…and it screwed up my back

enough that I was not working full-time for over six years, and during that whole
process, there’s this back and forth in the worker’s comp industry about “Can we
prove that this is broken or is he lying? Is he just trying to get drugs for his
back?” or whatever. It’s just this extended period of time where I really felt as
though, on a pretty regular basis, people were questioning my integrity,
mistrusting me, and it would have been nice to have somebody around to say,
“Hey, you’re not these things they suspect you are.” Things like that.
During that period of time, I felt…very, very lost and adrift and just
looking for reassurance…not necessarily to fix something. I didn’t feel I needed
anybody to fix anything, but just…I felt like I was questioning myself, like, you
know, “Does my back really hurt? Yes, it does. This is why I can’t walk,” and
things like this. So it would have been nice to have some sort of parental council
in that regard from someone I respected. (Armando)

Another participant, Hancock, provided a rather profound perspective when asked

what his father could have provided that would have changed his life and helped him deal

with difficult life situations in a more effective manner.

Just their presence! You gotta…like…you can’t…you can’t plant a flower if you
don’t watch it grow. You know what I’m saying? You gotta go out and water it
from time to time, you’ve gotta go out and switch it a little bit, make sure it gets
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sunlight [gestures moving a plant around]…You’ve got to do…feed it every

once in a while…You’ve got to do what you’re supposed to do…Same thing for a
child as for a plant. (Hancock)

Involvement in deviant behaviors. A significant majority of participants (8 of

13 [62%]) indicated they were at some point involved in deviant behaviors that were a

product of and contributed to their progression through their adolescent years and into

adulthood. These participants perceived that the absence of a male figure in the

household they could depend on for guidance was a primary reason why they ended up in

legal predicaments. Robert candidly described the efforts of his mother and his

perception of a lack of credibility in her attempts to provide guidance:

The biggest disadvantage during those years was just not having somebody there
that I could bounce ideas off of and get it from a male perspective. Um...When I
was 11 and 12, I was a juvenile delinquent. I mean, I was getting into a lot of
trouble. My mom tried everything in the world to help me, but it was
just…hearing it come from your mom that you're not supposed to do this, and
this, and this, um…in my head, it was...“what do you know, Mom? You're a
female. You don't know what it's like to be a man or a boy at this point. You
never went through this. So I love you, but you can't relate...I can't really relate to
you.” And it was really tough then, at that point in time in my life. (Robert)

The deviant behaviors were also prominent among participants even in their

adulthood and, interestingly, they still attributed their involvement in such behaviors to

the lack of guidance. When prompted to describe his experiences while transitioning

from adolescent into manhood, Jeban stated:

Just a lot of dumb mistakes…One thing that I learned about being a man and
becoming a man is you get stuck in situations where…And I can give you an
example. When you’re a teenager, you’re supposed to act a certain way. But a
lot of times, men get caught in that teenage stage well in their 20s, because no one
has pushed them into that 20s stage…that young man stage. And a lot times, we
could be 21, 22, 23, and we’re still acting like a teenager. And we hear women
say, “Grow up.” How? Teach me! Show me how to grow up! Or the words that
most woman say, “Be a man.” How do I be a man? No one has taught me! And
so with that, I was making mistakes as a young man, and no one had ever taught
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me how to be one. They tell me to be one, but no one ever taught me, showed
me how. And so when I made the mistake, no one showed me how to fix it.
That’s the form of daddylessness that I had to endure. (Jeban)

Jeban later admitted that this lack of guidance led him to a period of incarceration,

stating, “I went to jail for a few months in my life. And not having guidance…just

making stupid mistakes and partying all the time and hanging around the wrong group.”

Other participants (5 of 13 [38%]) explained how the absence of a father figure

was at the root of their involvement with illegal drugs. One participant stated:

I tried drugs. I think I was not concentrating 100% in school. I didn’t listen to
my mother how I wanted to listen to her. I think I would listen to her better
because my dad used to be more strict, and I think it would have a big impact in
my life if he would be around us. (Luis)

Luis described his longing for his father as a guide and influence during his teenage years

and further relayed how his absence may have influenced his involvement in drugs:

Discipline. I didn’t have no discipline. I was not…You know…I was begging for
my father to guide me through my life. I think I would have a better future right
now. I did good, but I think I should have done better. You know, when I was in
high school, I totally would start, you know, using with my friends. (Luis)

Another participant, Hancock, concurred, asserting that his father, had he been

present, would most likely have stopped him from participating in some of the negative

activities in which he was involved.

You learn, every decision that you make, and everything that you do, you learn.
So the things I went to jail for, I didn’t go back to jail for them again…except for
domestic violence. So for selling drugs…I wasn’t going to stop, because that’s
how I made my money, so…If my dad was around, I probably wouldn’t have did
that, because he would have stopped me. (Hancock)

As mentioned earlier, the deviant behavior participants attributed directly or

indirectly to father absence was not limited to their boyhood years. Some participants

painfully described episodes well into their adulthood when the struggle of father absence
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resulted in poor choices on their behalf. David described a scenario he endured

during his 20s when he was trying to arrange his first meeting with his father:

He said, “Well, you know, I’m doing a conference in San Francisco. And you
know, maybe we can meet then.” And I remember I was living with a lady, and I
was moving out. And I was broke. You know, early 20s broke. And I’m trying
to buy a little bit of furniture for my house, for my apartment. And I’m like, what
if he comes, where are we going to sleep? So…I had to buy this couch, and to
have the pull-out sofa was $100 more. And I’m like, but I don’t have this $100.
But if he comes, we’ve got to have somewhere to sleep. So long story short, I buy
this pull-out couch, and I never heard from the guy. The date he said he was
coming and was going to be in town came and left, and I never heard from him.
And I…Right around that time, I started doing drugs. I started doing…cocaine
was big then, and I…that’s my low point, I started doing drugs. And I…was in
the dark for two years, just kind of out there. (David)

The challenges with deviant behaviors described by several participants

highlighted their beliefs about the need for the acceptance and guidance of a father during

the critical adolescent years and even into adulthood. Some participants saw such

behaviors as another approach to gaining the attention they sought and were unable to get

from their fathers. Some also engaged in such behaviors as a means of rebellion and this

was well reflected in a statement by one of the participants when he recalled a scenario

with his emotionally distant father. JP reported that instead of encouraging him after a

positive report card, his father simply continued to berate him with negative comments.

The researcher observed that JP was still, at the time of the interview, noticeably angered

by this situation. JP stated:

There’s nothing that I can do to get any kind of positive affirmation from this man
because everything is negative, so that’s when I said, “If they want negative, then
they’ll get negative,” and that’s just when…I developed that attitude. That’s
when I started tail-spinning at that age and into my manhood, you know. (JP)

As with several other participants, JP confirmed that the root of his involvement

in deviant behaviors was the lack of affirmation from a father who was either physically
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absent or emotionally disconnected from them. Johnny Bee captured a similar

perspective as he pondered how father absence affected his transition from adolescence to

manhood. In his profound description, he questioned the reason for his fatherless

situation, outlined its emotional impact, and detailed how it manifested in defiance and

deviant behaviors on his part.

I guess at some points like, what did I do wrong? Why do I not have a dad? You
know, that was one of the things. We just kind of doubt….And maybe having a
little bit more tougher skin than most, you know…I think even being a smaller
child, I think I really became kind of a tough shell and kind of a bully of sorts. I
had a lot of disciplinary issues, um, as a kid. I wound up getting kicked out of
school at one point, having to transfer to another school. And it’s not like I came
from a bad household. I think I was just really deeply moved and upset by the
fact I didn’t have a father in my life, maybe. And maybe having…thicker skin or
a façade of having thicker skin…because I didn’t have one, I think. (Johnny Bee)

Adult spousal relationships. Another lifelong challenge outlined by participants

was their marked difficulty at having healthy romantic relationships. An overwhelming

majority of interview participants (12 of 13 [92%]) described having significant

challenges in establishing and maintaining healthy romantic relationships. Figure 7

illustrates the relationship status of participants with the mothers of their sons. If a

participant had sons from multiple relationships, then he was categorized as either

“Separated” or “Divorced” respectively, even if he is married to the mother of his other

son(s).
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Relationship with Sons'

Mother
Divorced

Separated

In relationship

Married

0 2 4 6 8

Figure 7. Participants' relationship with sons' mother.

The chart shows a significant majority of participants (10 of 13 [77%]) are no

longer in a relationship with the mother of at least one of their sons. Even those who

were indeed married to the mother of all their children expressed their struggles at

maintaining adult relationships. The above illustration clearly represents these struggles

in adult relationship that were further supported by the perceptions and experiences

expressed by the participants.

One commonality among interviewees was the viewpoint that during their

childhood and adolescent years, they witnessed and experienced poor models of healthy

adult relationships. They stated that these poor models impacted their preparation for the

complexity of forming and maintaining a long-term romantic relationship resilient

enough to counteract the gender-related, cultural, and experiential-based barriers they

encountered. A common assertion among participants was that this lack of preparation

for adult relationships was a byproduct of the absence of an emotionally connected father

figure who modeled effective behaviors conducive to relationship longevity and success.
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Moreover, they cited the belief that they grew up without access to the lessons

learned and experiences of a man and, as a result, were prone to make poor choices in

their relationships.

When prompted to identify the periods in their lives they perceived as low points,

a majority of participants referred to their struggles with marriage. John Q, a participant

who was married to the mother of his son, described his relationship struggles as a low

point in his life.

Navigating my marriage and having some difficulties with my spouse over the
years. You know, fights and arguments, etc…I feel again that if my dad had been
around in my formative years, I feel that I would have been better equipped to
deal with situations that came up in my marriage, and I would have been able to
deal with my wife better and avoid some of the low points that were because of,
you know, conflict in my marriage…I think that’s significant because it definitely
had an effect on me. And I feel like I would approach my wife in a different way,
had I had a good example set by a dad that wasn’t there. Now of course, you can
have a dad that’s present in the house, and sets a BAD example, and does not do
anything to positively influence how you deal with women or how you deal with
your spouse or what have you…I feel like I was robbed of the opportunity to have
that, right? Whereas some people might have had that a little bit bad, I did not
even have the opportunity to see an example, either good or bad…because a bad
example, I might have been able to say, “Oh, wow, wow. That is not how you
deal with a spouse.” And a good example, I would have been able to say, “Yeah
that is definitely how you deal with a spouse.” So I feel like the experience of
having the dad there, um, is still a good learning experience, even if the specific,
um…dynamics of that father/mother relationship is not a positive one. (John Q)

Another participant outlined the poor model of a wholesome relationship that he

witnessed. David’s biological father left his family before David was even born. So not

only was David subjected to the abandonment of his biological father, but he also had a

stepfather who was emotionally distant. David described this experience as doubly

difficult to navigate, especially considering the flawed model his stepfather provided in

some areas. With respect to relationships, he expressed his disgust at the promiscuity and
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infidelity present in the adult relationships he saw, primarily on the part of the men.

He described the relationship behaviors that were modeled for him as follows:

And then when it came to women and girls, it was basically girls like a bus – you
miss one, catch another one. You know, or get as many notches on your belt as
you could. And I struggled because I still had some spiritual connections then.
And I just felt like it didn’t feel right inside of me to have, you know, sex with a
lot of women…And then my dad was very promiscuous…So everyone knew, but
my mom pretended she didn’t. And you know, I remember having friends tell me
in high school, “Man, why don’t you tell your dad to park his car somewhere
else? Everybody can see where he goes to park.” And it was just like…What do
you say to that?…And then I know, at home the marriage seemed very rocky at
times. So I just felt like, man, what if you were different at home, maybe your
marriage would be better. So it…you know, it made me just completely different
from the ‘have them all’ player mode to “man, what about getting the right person
and treating her special.” (David)

Given their shared perceptions of poor models of effective adult relationships,

participants also acknowledged their failures at relationships as well. Robert labeled

limited relationship competency as one of the biggest disadvantages of paternal

abandonment. He described his difficulty in grasping the concept of love when his own

biological father chose to abandon him when he said:

It was difficult for me to grasp that, you know, my real dad didn't want to be there
for me, didn't love me, I did something wrong. So growing up…and going
through teenage years, going through my early 20s, I struggled a lot with
relationships, I struggled with, um, just trying to figure out who I am and what I
want to become. It was pretty tough for me…and in just communication as
well…how to communicate properly...your feelings and ideals. It was pretty
tough for me to do that, at those ages. (Robert)

The majority of participants spoke of challenges with conflict resolution within

spousal relationships, a necessary skillset for longevity. One participant described how

his lack of effective conflict resolution skills and infidelity ultimately led to his divorce.

I wasn’t good at making choices, and I’m still working on that. Um, even in my
last marriage…we would go from, you know, make up to break up, to separation,
and then get back together, and…you know, conflict resolution…was just a
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means of keeping the marriage together. There wasn’t an emotional

connection tied to it…but it just got to the point to where, you know, to where my
mischievousness and, you know, just trying to lead a double life caught up to me.
And, you know, my ex-wife got tired of it, and we were constantly butting heads
and, you know, it was never a good thing. (JP)

Upon further reflection, the same participant connected the dots from his experience in a

household with an emotionally disconnected father to his own behaviors as an adult.

Growing up…it was just normal in the household to be wanting to try to take your
head off, and then, you know, all of a sudden, here comes, you know, mom and
dad, and they be like, “You’re not supposed to do that. You’re brother and
sister...” and blah, blah, blah. But it never meant anything to us because we were
just like, we didn’t want to get our asses kicked by our mom and dad. So we were
like, alright. But I mean, we didn’t even have no tools growing up or skills,
uh…as kids or in the family, like, to even deal with conflict resolution. (JP)

One factor commonly cited as a manifestation of poor relationship skills was

infidelity. One participant described feeling constantly “in the chase” and the intense

doubt in his ability to have a wife and a strong family unit. When asked to reflect on the

root of this self-doubt, Johnny Bee recalled an environment in which he never saw a

healthy relationship modeled to him. He provided the following explanation for his early

relationship deficiencies as he transitioned into manhood:

In my younger days, I was what we consider a womanizer, I suppose. Not

understanding the dynamics of a man and a woman and commitment. I had zero
commitment in my life…I’ve had lots of quality girlfriends. I’ve been engaged. I
still had this burning desire to chase, you know, something else. And feeling kind
of like a caged tiger…I felt like I had to go out there and see and do it. And
maybe it was a self-destructive personality, because I see that in my
brother...same background. He’s never figured it out. So I think we battled the
same type of emotions growing up. He’s never got out of it. So he’ll be with a
woman, he’ll leave. He’s got six illegitimate children from six different moms.
It’s, um…You know. That’s just kind of how…it was as we were kids, it’s how
the people in our neighborhood, there were lots and lots of single moms, lots of
people on welfare. Unfortunately, there were no real solid family foundations.
And so, unfortunately, he’s never found that. (Johnny Bee)
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According to the participants, the behaviors that led to the dissatisfaction and

struggles in their adult relationships included, but were not limited to, infidelity, the

inability to resolve conflict amicably, and the selection of partners who were not “good

picks.” Participants highlighted the lack of a positive relationship model as a key

influencer on their challenges with sound relationship practices to date.

Finding Two: All participants indicated that their experience of fatherlessness led to
an intense resolve to be more effective at fathering

The second major finding that emerged centered on the deep-rooted desire

expressed by an overwhelming majority of participants (12 of 13 [100%]) to provide a

different father-son experience for their sons. Interestingly, this intense resolve to be a

more effective father was expressed by participants even if they had already in some way

replicated their own fatherless experience with their offspring. Almost all participants

shared the perception that the fatherless experience may be perpetuated along

generational lines and, as a result, were somewhat committed to trying their utmost to

avoid passing on the trend of fatherlessness in their family. Participants cited the sheer

pride in being a father, a desire to break the trend of fatherlessness, the drive to enable

their sons to “tell a different story,” willingness to try alternative approaches to fathering,

and belief in the mantra “imperfect but present” as factors contributing to their intense

resolve to be more effective at fathering.

Desire to break the trend of fatherlessness. The topic of breaking trends of

father abandonment and/or paternal apathy in their families evoked some of the most

passionate responses among participants. As stated earlier, 12 of 13 participants

expressed the desire to make a difference in their sons’ perceptions of a father-son bond.
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Incidentally, the one participant who did not refer to a commitment to fathering his

sons differently was a 29-year-old man whose two sons were conceived when he was 16

and 17 years old, respectively. He expressed concern over his immaturity at the time and

how his perceptions influenced him about the role of a father:

Once I was out of the picture, me and her wasn’t dealing with each other no more,
I reverted back to basically when I was a kid and I could do whatever I wanted to
do, but I just made money and then I just buy my son things, and then just stay
there for maybe a day, and then be gone for six or seven days. (Hancock)

Hancock’s comment depicts the attitude toward fathering that this participant developed

over his life experience thus far. Another participant, Johnny Bee, expressed a similar

experience in which his early foray into fatherhood included misguided perceptions about

what it meant to actively father.

In high school, I wound up having my first child. Um…And not having a man in
my life and, you know, not understanding the value of being there and the
importance of being there…I allowed myself to have a child and let her take full
responsibility for the first couple of years, cause not really knowing, because, you
know, that happened to me and it happened to other people that I knew, and the
people who were in my environment who had no dads were kind of the same
thing. Young parents, big deal…their mom or the grandma will take care of the
child and, you know, it’s no big deal. (Johnny Bee)

Despite this early demonstration of paternal apathy with his own son, Johnny Bee

described a “light switch that went off” as he reflected about his behaviors as a father.

He emotionally detailed his thought process:

It was like, okay, it was kind of an eye opener one day…You have this child
whose life you’re absent in. You’ve got this beautiful young man who is growing
and who’s going to go in the same footsteps you did if you don’t get your act
together and move him in the right direction. And so, even though I initially felt
that his mom was doing an okay job of making sure he had everything he
needed…And I was there financially. I wasn’t there for him emotionally and
helping him grow into a better person…and it was like, okay, I’ve got to get my
act together, you know. And so, um, I can’t tell you exactly why or what it was,
but it was like an overnight switch, you know. I just wanted to make sure that I
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was there, I was part of his life, and rather than just being a financial
contributor, you know, that I was there as much as his mother was. (Johnny Bee)

The realization that a father’s actions could potentially preclude the perpetuation

of the thoughts, feelings, and actions associated with father absence is one that drove

several other participants. One participant described a rather vivid scene in which he as a

father took his newborn son to the ocean and reenacted a scene from the popular Disney

movie The Lion King. He described making a strong commitment never to fail his son as

his own father had failed him:

I guess it was a week out of the hospital…and The Lion King had just come out.
So I lifted him and I said, “Simba, this is all you see….” And I was playing
around joking, saying, “Everything you see is yours.” And I was holding him,
and I looked at him, and he was just looking at me, and…I told him, “I’m not
going to fail you. No matter what, I’m not going to fail you.” (Jeban)

Another participant described a similar commitment he made never to fail his

sons as a “hardening.” His expressiveness when providing this description connoted for

the researcher an impenetrable protective shield that he placed around him and his son in

order to protect his father-son bond.

It hardened me toward the fact that when I became a father…um, I would want to
do things a little bit differently, and was aware from a young age that this is not
how I would want my offspring to come up in life. And I made up…my mind
from a very early age, even before, you know, the thought of having my own
children…I was able to make a firm [decision]…I was going to be a different type
of father. I was going to be present in my child's life. I recognized that there was
something that was missing. I recognized that it was something that was
important and that…I would make sure that I would be there in their lives,
definitely. And so that's what happened there…I had a resolve from an early age
that I would not repeat the quote unquote "cycle" of not having a dad in the
household when I became a dad myself. (John Q)

Rich shared his view of breaking trends of fatherlessness but described a rationale

of living vicariously through his sons’ experiences. He first shared his determination to
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be the absolute opposite of his biological father. He desperately wanted to provide

his sons with experiences he wished he had, while being present to create memories with

them. He stated:

Right away, immediately…the moment that I knew…okay, she’s pregnant…I

thought about me…okay, my mom was pregnant. So…you do a quick…rewind
and you think, okay…You think of yourself and the flaws or the gaps that you
had. Um…So I thought, okay, my dad wasn’t there. Okay. I’ve got to be there.
I’ve got to own up. He didn’t own up. Basically, whatever…opposite of
whatever my biological dad, you know…He wasn’t there, but anything that I
didn’t have when I was growing up, I mean, that’s what I thought a man would
be.
I wanted to be a father, um, to…cause then I can practice what I thought
should have been done with me. It’s just actually something to look forward to
like, man, my dad didn’t take me to a baseball game or to little league…I get to
do that. So to me, I imagine myself living vicariously through my children in
raising them. That’s why it’s so important for me…I’ve got to be there. I’ve got
to see them growing up. I’ve got to interact. I want to make sure that they have
memories of them growing up with me in their life that…you know…I
participated…you know…I was a good father…I was there for them. (Rich)

In breaking the generational trend of fatherlessness, participants also recalled how

their own experiences of father absence or paternal apathy made them work even harder

at modeling what an active, involved father looked like. Some participants also

expressed the notion that their father-absent experience placed an added responsibility on

them to make up for the poor job their fathers had done. Here are some of the

descriptions of this increased responsibility:

Um, I think it affected it in a way where it made me want to work even harder to
show and express how to be a father. And, uh, what it takes to be a father,
because of a lack of me not having mine. (Tony)

I was also determined to do a phenomenal job of being a dad to kind of make up

for the job…the poor job that I felt my own father had done in being, um, present
in my life, of being available, um, for me, through my formative years. (John Q)

The thing that drove me was…I don't want to be like my real dad. How he did
me. And, uh, I think that's...to this day, and it'll continue the rest of my life, that's
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what drives me, man, is that I don't want my kid to feel the way I did growing
up with their real father not being around. No matter the parents split, the parents
are together...it doesn't matter. That kid is number one, should be number one for
the father. And that's what I do for my son. I think I might spoil him a little bit
too much as far as with the love and the coddling maybe sometimes, but I think
that's just me wanting to make sure that he's okay, that he doesn't feel that
emptiness like I did. (Robert)

I don’t wanna do the things that my dad did to me. Especially not being
around…you know…I want to be a good example to my kids, not a bad example.
(Luis)

And I think that the drive for constant improvement is fueled by the fear of being
a bad dad, or…I guess not wanting to be like what my dad did. I wanted to
change that, wanted to make that change, and you know…not to use a cliché term,
but break the cycle and not do it how my dad did. (John Q)

My biological father made me know that I would never do to them what he did to
me. And the way I said it then was, if there’s breath in me and breath in them,
they’ll always be able to get to me. They’ll never have to wonder where their
father is and if he loved them and why he would leave them. (David)

Malcolm provided a rather poignant and riveting description of his desire to break

the generational trends and debunk some of the superstitious beliefs he had about his

destiny as a father. His story was one of immense pain as he described the emotional

impact of the murder of his mother at the hands of his father:

Like a lot of young men would say about their fathers, I was going to be a better
father. And ironically, my father never knew his father, and he was always telling
me as a little boy how lucky I was to have a father. He was always telling me
that. “You’re lucky. I never had a father,” that was his line. And it always left
me with this confusion around why this guy who beat my mom on a pretty regular
basis would think that I was lucky to have him. I couldn’t get that. So after he
ultimately killed her, it became that much more confusing for me…And I
remember very clearly, um, wanting to do for him what my father didn’t do for
me. There was a clear generational connection that I was experiencing internally,
because now I was in between a father and a son. So I was the middle guy now. I
was the connection between two generations now. And I remember looking at my
son, and holding my son, and saying to myself, and maybe whispering to him, that
this is going to be different…And I just remember, I kept thinking I’m not…going
to fail this boy. I’m not going to hit his mom. I’m not going to do this to him.
And it was always, I’m not doing this to HIM. He became the center of my
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actions…He was the reflection for me…He was my barometer. Everything

was about him. (Malcolm)

Create a different reality for sons. In addition to their desire to break trends of

father absence, almost all participants (12 of 13 [92%]) also expressed the need to create

a different reality for their sons. Some expressed rather emphatically that their sons

would benefit from hearing about both the positive and negative experiences their fathers

endured. The elements of the different story they wanted their sons to be able to tell

included the creation of a nurturing environment where paternal availability was of

utmost importance. Such environments, some participants asserted, led to sons who were

far more confident and self-aware than they themselves felt growing up fatherless.

Participants described how they went about shaping a different reality for their

sons and how it manifested in their sons’ outlook.

I think the levels of confidence my children have are different than my

confidence. For me, mine was maybe a façade of…having to put up that fake
wall and be tougher than I really probably was. You know. Whereas my children
have a confidence of, you know, they’re loved, they’re nurtured, they’re smart.
Um…And you know, they’re going to do well. And if they don’t, they’re going
to learn from it and, you know, their mother and I will get together and we’ll
figure out, you know, solutions that will help them move to the next level, without
them having to figure it out themselves. (Johnny Bee)

In expressing the different experience his sons will have, one participant captured

his sheer excitement at the prospect of being a father, while another participant relished

helping his son be strong in areas in which he was deficient.

Being a father? I, uh…I love every second of it…I mean, being a dad is just
like…everything to me. What I do today may affect generations. My sons, I
want them to know what it feels like to be held, to be loved, to be told “I love
you,” you know, wrestle with them, to discipline them, to watch them grow into
young men. (David)
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I think trying your best in anything that you do, realizing that it’s okay to have
expectations placed upon you, and it’s also okay to fall short of those. That’s a
lesson I haven’t quite learned, so I would hope that my son would. I think that
it’s always easier to not finish something or to not be part of a group than it is to
finish something and to be part of a group. And I want him to, as I mentioned
earlier, be better than me in that regard. I feel as though I didn’t have someone
that pushed me to do anything at all. And I would hope that when my son is old
enough, he could acknowledge that I had helped him and pushed him but in a
constructive way. I don’t want him to be one of those fanatical sports parents or
anything like that. I want him to see in our relationship that we’re both better as
people because of that relationship, because of our level of communication,
because we keep trying at anything, at everything, and that along the way, we
acknowledge and talk about the mistakes. (Armando)

Two participants reflected on their level of participation in almost every aspect of

their sons’ lives and commented on the impact it would have on their sons in the long

term.

I’m not saying I’m the best dad…by no means. But I mean, I coach my kids’
sports, I show up to their classrooms, you know, I do everything that I think a
father should do or could do. I don’t think there’s anything outside of my
ability…you know…that I should be doing that I’m not at this point. (Johnny
Bee)

Um, I’ve been heavily involved in every aspect of my son’s life from the time he
was born. Um, I had an opportunity to, um, be a stay at home dad for a number of
years, and that has helped me as well, too, because I have been able to be
available and be present for everything in my son’s life – good things, bad things,
all of his life experiences. And I think that that overall is positive, because when
my son gets older now, and he now takes the baton, and he is ready to have his
own kids, he has, um, he can look back, and he will be able to always draw from
his experiences of having his dad around when he has similar challenges in life or
he has similar situations to face in his life, he will have something to draw from.
So I think that just being around, I’m setting my son up for success in life,
because at minimum, he will at least have, um, history to draw from when faced
with various situations in life, and he will have, um, he will have some type of
precedent that he can use in his own life. (John Q)

Participants also shared their concern that their sons would not have to endure

some of most painful aspects of their fatherless experience. Jeban recounted his

disappointment at not having his father attend his sports events and stated:
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I don’t ever want him to say what I said. And I told him that, and I told my
youngest that. I told them, “I want you to say, ‘when I had a great game, or I did
something, my daddy was there.’” (Jeban)

Armando, on the other hand, shared his desire for his son to have the experience

of being a boy without having the overwhelming responsibility of providing financial

security for the family at a tender age.

Security…both financial and emotional…I felt as though I did not have those
growing up. I didn’t, for example, want my child to have to earn money to pay
bills for our house when he was 11, as an example. I wanted my son to know
what it was like to be loved, to have a father that was affectionate, but most
importantly was there. I would rather be there and make mistakes every day than
not be there at all. But I think one of the things that I really tried to do in the half-
dozen years that my son has been around relates to that affection and
communication, knowing that your parents love you and give you a kiss and give
you a hug. I just think that it means the world to a child to know that. (Armando)

The imperfect but present father. Throughout the conduct of this research, a

majority of participants captured the concept of the imperfect but present father; this

concept, they explained, takes into account that their experience of father absence or

paternal apathy inflicted some unforgettable emotional wounds. They acknowledged that

the fears and emotions resulting from the lack of a relationship with their fathers would

continually influence their behaviors and inhibitions. Participants suggested the need to

overcome these challenges and address the personality development deficits rooted in

their experiences were sometimes overwhelming, consuming a significant amount of

their time and effort. The idea of the imperfect but present father indicated that, over

time, participants developed the perception that being a present father should be fathers’

highest priority.

In commenting on some of the low points of his life and how fatherlessness

contributed to them, Armando described the lack of affirmation from his father and the
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emotional scars he had from the constant pursuit of his father’s love and affection.

He described what that meant for him as he acknowledged his imperfections:

He does not express affection toward me. He’ll use the sort of “proud of you,”
kind of in-passing, sort of terms, but I think there’s a big part of me that has kind
of given up on trying to get whatever I think I need from him: that validation or
that acceptance. And I’ve gotten to a point where I said, “You know, I’m
imperfect. I am as imperfect as anyone else, but I am here, and I am participating
in my family and my life.” And I love my family. And there is very little about it
that I would change of any substance. (Armando)

Tony concurred, and as he discussed his concerns about becoming a father after

growing up without one, he quipped:

I may be different than most guys, but no, I wasn’t really, because I was there.
And I always feel like if a parent is there, a man or a woman, if they’re there with
their children, they’re going to give them the best, as long as they’re there. So I
didn’t have that fear of what it was going to take…I just did it. (Tony)

David provided a rather succinct but poignant response when prompted to

indicate the key lessons he wants to pass on to his sons. He stated “that it’s not about

perfection, but it’s about presence. And that they have an obligation to their children to

be there for them.” Que also mentioned his determination to be engaged with his son

despite his own imperfections, indicating that “if I have a relationship with my son,

relationship means that you’re going to see my strong points, you’re going to see my

vulnerabilities, and you’re going to see my imperfections, and in it all, we’re going to get

through it.”

Both Johnny Bee and John Q prioritized father-presence as one of the factors

about fathering they perceive as the key to providing a different experience for his sons.

Here are the viewpoints of these two participants:

A father should be somebody who gives you unconditional love and

support…cause kids are going to mess up, they’re going to do great, they are
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going to do not so great. You know. You need somebody who is going to be
there to support you…So now, it’s just making sure that I’m there to nurture, to
love them, to make sure that whatever needs they have, that they’re met and that
they learn stuff. (Johnny Bee)

I’ve been heavily involved in every aspect of my son’s life from the time he was
born. Um, I had an opportunity to be a stay at home dad for a number of years
and that has helped me as well, because I have been able to be available and be
present for everything in my son’s life- good things, bad things, all of his life
experiences. And I think that that overall is positive, because when my son gets
older now, and he now takes the baton, and he is ready to have his own kids…he
can look back, and he will be able to always draw from his experiences of having
his dad around when he has similar challenges in life, or he has similar situations
to face in his life. He will have something to draw from. So I think that just being
around, I’m setting my son up for success in life…because at minimum, he will at
least have history to draw from when faced with various situations in life, and he
will have, um, he will have some type of precedent that he can use in his own life.
(John Q)

Finding Three: An overwhelming majority of participants described the experience

of fatherlessness during their transition from boyhood to manhood as one that left a
void that could not be filled by the substitutes they sought out

All interview participants acknowledged that paternal absence and/or paternal

apathy created a void in their household and ultimately in their upbringing. Participants

perceived that having no father figure around or having an emotionally disconnected

father during key developmental periods of their lives resulted in numerous foregone

opportunities. Despite the presence of multiple substitutes, participants all described the

sheer longing they experienced for the presence of their father.

The void. Participants in this study described key elements they missed during

their transition. The elements they considered valuable, which they did not experience

themselves, they also perceived as “simple things” like having someone to talk to,

support at sporting events, and lessons on social interaction with peers.

It’s crazy because you want to talk to somebody about everything, and you want
people to be at your games and your sporting events and help you make decisions.
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And you want to just…you know what I’m saying…have a blueprint of what
you’re supposed to do with your life…you don’t have that person to do that.
(Hancock)

When I was in high school, it became more significant because, uh, I was a star
athlete. So…And I would look at everybody else and they would have their
fathers, and I would look into the stands and I would see nobody. And I wished,
man, what do I have to do to win the affections of my father…And you always
kind of dream…man…I wonder what my life would be like if my father was here.
(Que)

I really felt like, in terms of how to interact with my peers and, ironically enough,
in terms of how to interact with them, in particular in sports settings and small and
larger group settings, I had no anchor. I had no one to bounce things off of about
how do I handle this situation, and so I think that quite often, I didn’t handle those
situations very well. (Armando)

You know, being a father now, and really being able to look back and see, you
know, what I missed. I mean, you miss so much not having a father in place.
You know, teaching you the rights from wrongs, how to throw a ball. You know,
just being there for guidance, and just somebody to talk to you and, you know,
teach you how to be a man. You don’t have that with a mom, you know. (Johnny
Bee)

A common thread among participants’ perceptions about the void created by

father absence was the emotionally stressful experience of fathers missing important

activities like sporting events and not being present to push them academically. Jeban, a

former Olympic junior athlete and football player, described how valuable the presence

of his father would have been. As he shared this, the researcher noted his discomfort as

the memories of his pain surfaced.

We were like ranked in the country individually. And so when we got…to the
finals, and I look up again, and I’m a junior in high school at this time; look up.
He’s not there. But he told me he was going to be there. So again, that failure.
Even though we won, I still had that empty feeling. They were like missed
opportunities, where I wanted my dad to be there.
I was empty. Because even though my mom was there, even though my
family came from everywhere to see it, he wasn’t there. I kept looking up, and I
remember crying during halftime…And we ended up losing the game. But I
remember halftime, I was crying and sitting in a corner, and they’re asking me
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what’s wrong, and I wouldn’t tell them. And I never talked about it until now
with you. I never told anyone. Because…I didn’t want to make it seem like I was
being selfish. But I remember looking up in the stands, looking for him, and he
was not there. (Jeban)

Other participants spoke of not having their father to provide the guidance and

motivation they thought necessary for them to achieve academic success. Rich explained

his perspective as follows:

I think at that point, when you’re a junior, it’s probably when you need your
father the most. You have these decisions. Life impacting decisions like college,
what are you going to do in life?…That’s probably when I needed the most
mentoring because, you know, at that point you are about to become a man…So
the closer I got to 18…scholastically, uh…I lost my drive. I lost that push. And I
think that if I had my biological father, OR a father figure with me at that point, I
would have been a lot more successful. (Rich)

John Q shared as a similar view as he detailed what he considered to be the

biggest aspects of his development that he believes were foregone as a result of his

father’s abandonment.

Navigating the really important milestones like getting my driver's license, having
girlfriends, dealing with sex, navigating my, um...matriculating myself through
school, and getting into college. I saw those as important milestones...And,
um...those are events that I think I would have benefitted from having the advice
of a dad, having a dad present to be able to support me through those things. And
encourage me through those things...or advise me well through those things
…And then, um, also, things like being able to handle…oneself in situations
outside of the house where you had to deal with…people…who are not your
family members, strangers, and how to handle oneself in public as a man in
society. Um, those are the things that I feel like I missed out. Those are things
that I feel like a dad in the household would have been able to either show me,
you know, explain to me, or show me by his example that this is how a man is
supposed to operate within the house or the society. This is how a man is
supposed to treat a woman, a spouse, or whatever. These are the things that a
man is supposed to do. I feel that those are the things that I can point to that I feel
were missing and that I missed out on or that were missing. (John Q)

Several participants also poignantly described their adolescence without a father

as one void of several benefits they perceived as available when a father is present. Que
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captured this when he stated, “You just feel this void, it’s missing, because Dad isn’t

there. And so that was the, that was the, uh, baseline. But then the absence of what you

perceive that you’re missing was there, along with…I didn’t know what it looked like.”

Luis provided a similar viewpoint when asked what he thought he missed most as a result

of his father’s absence, stating, “Discipline. I didn’t have no discipline. I was not…you

know…I was begging for my father to guide me through my life. I think I would have a

better future right now.”

Substitutes. All participants described their pursuit of substitutes to replace the

missing father figure from their household. Substitutes often took the form of people—

without any limitations on gender, age, or familial affiliation. Other substitutes described

included various activities and organizations that participants perceived as providing

some of the guidance, presence, and advice they referred to when outlining the void

created by their absent dads. The following sections represent some categories of

substitutes unveiled during the discourse with the participants.

Other male figures. A majority of participants described building relationships

and pursuing interactions with other male figures. Here are some of the ways participants

described what they sought in other male figures. John Q outlined what he derived from

relationships with other male figures:

I was able to seek out and identify other strong… male role models…I was able
to, um…align myself with, um…older males who I could emulate, who I could
get advice from, who I could talk to, etcetera, and you know, basically it was a
process of filling the gap, filling the void that was left by my dad with, you know,
other males that I identified…that would be good as role models. (John Q)

Tony described the relationship he built with his maternal uncle who provided

some of the benefits he perceived would originate from his biological father:
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I had an uncle that was a…uh…a good man. And, uh…a couple uncles that
were good men. Yeah. And I would turn to them growing up. And they would
give me good advice, you know. But, um…again, it was temporary, because they
would come in, and they didn’t live there. So I would see them maybe a few
times a year. So, you know, and when they did come in, they spoke some
wisdom…So those were some of the other male figures that I had in my life. And
you know, uh, it was a blessing to have them. Because I do look back sometimes
and think about some of the things that they had said to me, and places they had
taken me to get experiences in life that were very, uh, inspirational. And if I had
really, uh, taken a lot of things to heart, um, I believe it would have made me just
that much more of a better man. (Tony)

Jeban also captured his thoughts about the importance of other male figures with

whom he interacted by providing a succinct description of what he deemed as the most

benefit of their presence.

They gave me what I needed. When a man doesn’t have….when a boy doesn’t
have…or a young man doesn’t have that man around to…how can I say…make it
be okay to mess up but still show me how to fix it, and that was…I think that was
the biggest issue…I was making mistakes along the way, and I didn’t know how
to fix them. (Jeban)

Que shared how various different male figures were influential on his own

development and aspirations in the area of education.

I will say that I had an uncle…a couple of uncles that would talk to me. And my
uncles were kind of like my mentors kind of guys. And, uh…They were in
prison. So, so I would go to the prisons, visiting them, and, uh…They would tell
me what not to do, but at the same time, what I needed TO do. And, uh, they got
me excited about you know, some of the most oddball stuff, like, I love science
because I could sit there and talk to my uncle about the heart and how the
bicuspid and tricuspid valves open and close and how the left ventricles, right
ventricles, and you know, all that kind of stuff worked…And then I had a
professor, or a teacher, that…noticed potential…and I had another history teacher,
and he talked about…Well actually, he was a poly-sci teacher, and he talked
about the preamble and he talked about the Bill of Rights, you know, the
amendments, and what those things really meant and how we need to look at
those things. So he made it alive. His enthusiasm made me want it. So seeing
those men made me think, “that’s a man!” (Que)
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Johnny Bee described the guidance of one of his athletic coaches as a key

contributor to his progression through his adolescent years.

I had a wrestling coach…He was an amazing father. He was a good coach, and
he was a good role model for me. So, as I’m out screwing around and some of
my friends are gang bangers and into doing, you know, stupid stuff they weren’t
supposed to be doing…You know, him being able to pull me aside and look me in
the eye and say, “Hey, you’re going down the wrong path”…and talking to me
like he would to his own child. You know. And so, people like that, whether it’s
college professors or some of my older college fraternity brothers, you know,
then, you know, teachers….just professional people that I’ve seen, you know, in
my early adulthood. (Johnny Bee)

Upon the tragic loss of his mother to murder at the hands of his father, Malcolm

painfully recalled the presence of his extended family when he stated, “So my

uncles…The presence of my maternal grandmother, um, my maternal uncle, my maternal

aunt, it was a constant reminder that my father was not around, and they had replaced

him.” JP explained the emotional wedge that existed between him and his father and

described his longing for a father figure, which he sought outside the home:

I felt that I just had no connection with my father ‘cause I’ve looked at other
people, my friends and how they had relationships with their fathers, even looking
on the TV and what the perception of what the media or the perception of
Hollywood gives what a father and son relationship’s supposed to be. I found that
wasn’t the case in my household with my father, so I was like…I kind of felt it
really made me feel empty inside because it was like, there’s no way I can really
have a connection or a bond with him so it led me to…Well, basically, it led me
to looking outside of my family for that connection or bond with other people on
the streets or other people who I felt could give me that connection which my
father couldn’t. (JP)

Mothers. A majority of participants shared their experiences in a single-parent

home and suggested, sometimes unequivocally, that their mother—a single woman—was

their substitute father. According to participants, mothers in their homes fulfilled some

of the roles of their absent or emotionally distant partners. John Q captured this concisely
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when he acknowledged, “my mother was a good mother. My mother tried to do all

the things that were necessary to ensure my development.” Tony’s brief description of

the role his mother played in his fatherless household was rather profound:

She kept everyone together. She made sure we were always together. We did
things together. We were exposed to different things in life. And I think that was
one of the biggest things that my mom, um, could have done for us growing up,
for me especially, is giving that exposure.
It made me more responsible knowing that there wasn’t a dad there. And I
didn’t really, like I said, have anyone to really teach me that other than my
mother. She was the, I guess, the man and the woman in the house…I believe I
gained a lot of my knowledge from my mother, as being the stronghold in the
family. (Tony)

The experience of friends and peers. Some participants (4 of 13 [31%])

described seeking life lessons from the experiences of their friends. After a moment of

deep thought, Rich described his experience of looking toward his friends’ experience as

a means of learning about the world:

Um, without having a father figure, you know, you have your friends, really. You
sort of gauge what they’re doing, what their experiences are, and you try to relate.
So you do look for mentors, or…sort of a guide. Um, I think you’re a little bit
more hypersensitive, um, to the fact that you don’t have a father figure. So for
me, I was actively looking and comparing myself with my friends…you know,
what they were doing, what they were doing in their life…You know, their
interest, their likes…Because, again, I had nothing really to relate to or use as a
baseline…that a mentor would tell you. (Rich)

The military. Five participants spoke emphatically about the sheer importance of

their decisions to join the military. A common theme among their perceptions about the

military was its role in helping them transition into manhood.

I was fortunate. I went into the military. And the military helped show me pretty
much how to be a man. It teaches you certain responsibilities. And they say
Uncle Sam wants you, he’s pretty much being the dad when he gets…when
you’re enrolled in the military. Because once you’re enrolled in that, your life is
in their hands.
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The military really helped me with the transition, because it taught me

responsibility. I had to do things and figure things out on my own. And it
showed me how to do those things and how to figure those things out on my own.
And, um, it gave me a sense of leadership and direction and a sense of pride in
being a man. And realizing…and it also taught me that you can succeed in
anything that you try and you work hard for. And I feel that if I hadn’t gone in,
um, God only knows where I would have been…on the streets, hanging out,
getting in trouble, doing the wrong thing. (Tony)

Rich described a similar experience, highlighting that while he originally joined

the military to gain exposure to the world, he gained several other lessons he would have

expected to receive from his father:

I joined the Marine Corp for five years. One of the reasons why I actually joined
the Marine Corp was, uh, I wanted to travel. I wanted to get out and travel, see
the world. Um…I was informed that you’re in the military…um...you learn
discipline, leadership…a lot of, you know, attributes that sort of define a
man…um, you know, those ads. But they tell you, they promote, they advertise
that, you know, you learn not only occupational skills but things in life that no
other person would.
When you’re in the military, you know, they have a course, a strict course.
They have an outline of how to…a code of conduct. And you know honor,
integrity, leadership, things that I never learned as a man, you know. So they
definitely filled that gap, um…because in order to be successful in the military
you have to learn the fundamentals of life…you learn to interact with people
better. Um…You learn how to be subordinate or be a leader. (Rich)

Malcolm provided a riveting description of the early impact becoming a father

had on his life. He recounted how the traumatic absence of his father created in him

paranoia about leaving the side of his newborn son and resulted in his inability to

maintain employment. Even though he was well into his adulthood—23 years old—he

perceived the military as a stabilizing force on his life.

I went into a tailspin of really bad employment skid for about three months. And
I skidded right into a Naval recruiter’s office and was recruited and regained some
stability through enlisting…regained some economic stability, regained probably
some mental stability… suddenly I was able to provide something more stable for
him. (Malcolm)
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Que recalled how the military allowed him to trust other men:

So it was, uh…it was, uh, scary, cause it’s like you’re leaving school, going into
the military, and you know you’re not coming back home. So this is manhood.
And I have to trust other men to get me through this next 12 weeks of basic
training. (Que)

The media. Several participants gathered some of the key lessons, which they

perceived should have come through a rich relationship with their fathers, from various

forms of the media. When asked from where he gathered his knowledge about being a

man, Armando provided the following intriguing response:

Oddly enough, I think that a big part of what helped me to form this idea in my
mind of what a man should be actually came from comic books. I immersed
myself in comic books and the whole idea of good guys and bad guys and very
sort of black and white terms at a very early age, and I think that made an
impression on me in terms of actions speaking louder than words and supporting
what your mind and your heart are telling you to do by taking that step, taking
those physical actions. Don’t just say, “I wanna be a good father.” Be a good
father. Don’t just say, “I wanna be a good husband.” Be a good husband. Don’t
just get married because you’re supposed to. Get married because it’s the person
that you want to spend the rest of your life with. Things like that. (Armando)

Rich also expressed how he constructed his personal notion of manhood from the

examples and storylines provided in television shows:

You know, it’s not something that you, that I’ve read. It’s something that
you…you watch and observe. And I think it’s things that you watch on TV…It’s
a little bit more passive, but you know…And then, you know, you sort of create
this ideal person…his ideal man. (Rich)

Johnny Bee quipped that father absence impacted his transition from adolescence

to manhood since he never experienced a father-son relationship. He stated, “when you

don’t have that, you don’t know how it’s supposed to be. You see it on TV…you see it

on Leave it to Beaver but you realize that’s very far from your reality.” Tony pondered
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the sources from which he gathered his knowledge of manhood and highlighted how

the media guided his perceptions.

I was always looking outside of the home for the male figure. It was either on
television or I’d hear voices on the radio, male figures…The media played some
part in it, because when I was growing up there were a lot of innocent shows on.
And when I say innocent, it wasn’t any swearing, uh, there wasn’t a whole lot of
sex being shown. So those things kind of helped me out, uh, as an individual and
as a man to realize and see that, hey, this is how a man should conduct himself at
home, again, around his family and around, you know, his peers, his community.
(Tony)

Spirituality and church. Some participants indicated they leveraged spirituality

and their affiliation with a church as a mechanism to fill the gap left by paternal absence.

A couple participants rationalized their experience of father absence by suggesting they

had a spiritual father. The strong bond they developed with their spiritual father inspired

them to confront any challenges they faced as a result of the failures of their earthly

fathers. Tony captured his perception of the role of his spiritual father as follows:

I ended up accepting God as my Father. So when I didn’t have, early on, when
you asked me what was my other figures that I could….I used God as that one. I
look for his guidance, his direction, and where a man should go. So I studied; I
read the Bible and I studied the Bible and got an understanding of how a godly
man would live. (Tony)

Que aligned with Tony, reconciling the absence and shortcomings of his father

with the all-powerful perfect nature of a deity. Que shared about his relationship with a

spiritual father:

I say it like this, I remember when I would vicariously look at the, like my
mentors. Um, like some of the pastors and stuff. And they would talk about the
Father God and all that kind of stuff. And so in my mind, I said, well, I may not
have a physical father, but I have a spiritual father. And so God is my father. So
since God is my father, then I’ve got everything. I’ve got everything. And so
now, I’ve just got to go out and get what he wants me to have. Mentally…And so
it was kind of like, because the world that I was living in physically didn’t seem
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real, I would, I guess in my own way, took what was in my head, spiritually,
and make that real…because that seemed to be a better place. (Que)

While other participants concurred on their experience of spiritual fulfillment as a

replacement for their absent biological fathers, a few identified the presence of active

male leaders in their church as a key source of guidance in their lives. These substitutes

provided participants with advice and the benefit of learning from their past experiences.

Jeban described his perceptions of the impact of male church leaders on his life by

stating, “thank God, since I’ve been here there have been men who have stepped into my

life who have taught me how to be a man, how to be a dad, how to be a Christian, how to

be a man of god.”

Que particularly recalled the influence of a mentor from the church who

introduced him to a young men’s support and mentorship group. Despite his noted

mistrust of encounters like this, Que was receptive to the guidance and the benefit of

learning from the experiences of others.

So Ron took me under his wing. And they had this Brotherhood every Saturday.
And so, he was like, “Come on out, come on,” you know how they would kind of
egg you on a little bit. Went out there, and saw that the brotherhood was good.
So they talked about very practical life issues. And you had a lot of men there
that brought some of their kids. They talked about relationships, they talked
about their wives, how to deal with that, and related that to scriptures. And you
had the older people, you had young people. And in that, it was a good
fellowship—Real stuff—And so it made me a student. (Que)

Sports. Participation in organized sports was yet another commonly expressed

substitute through which participants sought to gain some insight into masculinity and

effective life skills. Several participants (6 of 13 [46%]) self-identified as superb athletes

during their adolescent years and passionately shared some of their perceptions of how

participation in athletics provided them with important lessons that propelled them into
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adulthood and offered stability at times when they struggled with the absence of their

fathers. Robert, a top-tier college basketball player who ultimately played professionally,

provided a poignant description of his participation in sports as a key contributor to his

personal development and a mechanism through which he learned how to cope with

paternal abandonment:

I learned through basketball, playing basketball. Because in basketball, you've

got to go through trials and tribulations. You're going to have where things just
aren't going right for you at all. And you can't pout, throw your head down, and
just walk off the court. You've got to sit there and figure out how to...how to do
something else. If your shot is not going, I've got to do something else. I can't get
angry about it. I've got to figure something else out, and move on from there.
Uh, if I'm having a bad game, just doing nothing, and you get put on the bench,
you don't sit on the bench sulking and being mad. You cheer on your teammates,
because they cheer for you when you're doing well, you cheer for them. Um, I
learned a lot of those kind of [clears throat] intangible items through basketball. I
learned a lot through basketball, actually. Basketball was a…good safe haven for
me growing up, was playing basketball. (Robert)

Gang affiliation. Two participants indicated that one mechanism for coping with

the rejection they felt at the hands of their fathers was affiliation with a local gang. Of

the two participants, Hancock experienced fatherlessness via outright abandonment while

JP described a present but emotionally abusive father from whom he constantly sought

affirmation.

I was hanging around a bunch of guys which I thought were friends but really
weren’t my friends, but they were a part of a local neighborhood gang, so they
made me feel welcome of course because they saw I was a loner. And so
basically, I was looking for that acceptance which I couldn’t find in my father, so
basically I joined a local neighborhood gang and basically looked upon my
friends and my peers for that connection which I found. (JP)

Hancock spoke with an element of disdain about his biological father’s involvement in

gang activity. When prompted about some of his lifestyle choices that may have been

influenced by his absent father, Hancock pointed to the fact that his father was a “gang
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banger.” The researcher observed that during this response Hancock seemingly

questioned whether his father was even good at being a respected “gang banger,” while

lauding his own commitment to the gang. Hancock candidly spoke of his affiliation with

a local gang:

He could have changed my lifestyle because, even though my father was a gang
banger…If that’s what you want to call it. You know what I’m saying? Cause to
me, I don’t see how he was a gang banger, because I don’t see how…I mean, I see
how…I mean, I’m connected to him, but I don’t see how, like…I look at myself
as being a Blood from [XX], but at the end of the day...how can I really say that,
and I’m not doing that every day? But as they say, it’s for life! (Hancock)

Substitutes fall short. Despite their seemingly constant search for activities and

people to fill the vast void left by paternal absence, the overwhelming majority of

participants described these substitutes as falling short. They indicated that although they

valued the lessons learned from their “fill-ins,” they acknowledged that they did not even

remotely compensate for the emotional toll and experiences foregone as a result of the

physical and emotional separation they experienced with their fathers. Participants aptly

described how many of these substitutes, in spite of their value, were not enough.

Robert held the efforts put forth by his mother in high regard but acknowledged

how there were certain elements she could not fulfill. He stated:

She tried everything she could to make sure I was on track and good to go. But
she just...that father, having that male figure around that really cared about you,
lacked...A boy needs that physical, get back in line, boy. You know. And I
wasn't getting all that.
The biggest disadvantage during those years was just not having
somebody there that I can bounce ideas off of and get it from a male
perspective...When I was 11 and 12 I was a juvenile delinquent. I mean, I was
getting into a lot of trouble. My mom tried everything in the world to help me,
but it was just…hearing it come from your mom that you're not supposed to do
this, and this, and this, um, in my head, it was...what do you know, Mom? You're
a female. You don't know what it's like to be a man or a boy at this point. You
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never went through this. So I love you, but you can't relate...I can't really
relate to you. And it was really tough then, at that point in time in my life.
You know, I didn't have my real dad there to show me how to play catch,
show me how to talk to girls, show me, you know, right from wrong from a male
standpoint. And so you know, I was a little bit lost. Uh...lost there as an
adolescent. And you know like I said, my mom was always there. My mom
played mom and dad. BUT...even though she played mom and dad, you know,
she still lacked some of the male...I couldn't go to her for some things that you can
do with a man. (Robert)

Tony and Armando shared a similar viewpoint indicating that as they became

older and faced male-oriented challenges, they recognized the credibility of their mothers

in delivering a male perspective was somewhat limited.

My mother tried the best she could to teach us those things, but as boys growing
up, after we got, after I got to a certain age in my life, I didn’t look at her as that
strong person to get the male side from. (Tony)

Armando stated, “I really felt as if I needed some sort of guidance or council that I was

not going to get from my mother. Nothing against my mother, of course.”

John Q described the realization that mothers simply were not equipped with the

relevant experiences to teach some life lessons. These were important shortcomings that

precluded a mother completely filling the hole left by his father’s abandonment.

However, later, I came to realize there are certain things that you…there are
certain experiences, certain learning experiences or certain developmental
experiences, ranging from simple things like tying a tie and shaving, to more, um,
significant things like dealing with females and dealing with the opposite sex.
And there were certain things that just were more, would be more….that I would
be able to digest better coming from a male perspective as opposed to a female
perspective, and these are just examples of things that I observed that my mother
would not be able to teach me in the same way a dad that was around would be
able to teach.
And I think that, um, that guidance and that leadership, and that
authoritative, if you will, presence in the household, um…there is something to be
said for that. And it cannot be duplicated by a woman-only household. And,
um…there was just a difference. And like I said, this was very obvious when I
visited the households of my friends that had a dad that was present. It was
clearly different. The household still was successful, the household still ran,
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everything that needed to get done was still done, but there was that element
of authoritative leadership that was missing. (John Q)

In addition to the commentary on mothers falling short as substitutes for absent

fathers, participants also disclosed their perception that some of the male figures they

adopted as mentors, advisors, and fill-in fathers were not completely upstanding citizens.

Put out on his own as soon as he became 18 years old, David described the hardship he

faced and the men who came to his rescue when he needed a male guide the most:

For me at the time, I think it was very dark. Because I was then in survival mode,
because I turned 18 and the words never changed, so I had to leave home. So I
moved to, went to a technical school. And I only knew one guy there. I left home
with $300, and this school, and then I kind of…there it was…let me just say it…it
was pimps who started kind of…kind of, uh…taking care of us…helping us get
through school. So, so now…then it just was about hustling, just trying to eat.
Because I didn’t have money, didn’t have money coming from home for support.
So it was just survival. (David)

Other participants described how the male figures who stepped in to fill the void

left by paternal absence were in some cases negative examples. Particularly, these male

role models were, in some cases, imprisoned.

I had an uncle…a couple of uncles that would talk to me. And my uncles were
kind of like my mentors kind of guys. And, uh…They were in prison. So, so I
would go to the prisons, visiting them, and, uh…They would tell me what not to
do, but at the same time, what I needed TO do. (Que)

The guy who I was looking up to as a dad is the one who ended up getting 50 to
life. I looked at him as a dad. And even though he was doing wrong, I okayed it
in my heart because he treated me…he treated me like a dad. I didn’t call him
dad, but I looked, in my own eyes, up to him as a dad…because he was always
there when I needed him. He always gave me money. He always…whatever
[gesturing to indicate he always did anything]. And so when he did wrong, I
made the wrong right in my mind, because I okayed it. (Jeban)

The person that told me don’t get in trouble, his name was Will [XX]. Something
like that. He was my foster mom’s husband, or something like that. But he was
in jail. (Hancock)
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Participants responded candidly about whether the substitutes to which they

gravitated compensated for the absence of their fathers. Robert was reflective as he

described the impact of the presence of his stepfather:

He didn't fill the hole...I would say he probably filled the hole probably 75%, but
that 25%? I still wanted, yearned for my father, my real father, to be there for me.
And I, like I said, going through my teenage years and my early 20s, my
stepfather was around; he was giving me that guidance. Still I was having
problems, just because that hole, that 25% wasn't there. So I wasn't a whole
person, for lack of a better term. And it was tough. (Robert)

Que also shared how his mother tried diligently to introduce him to other male

figures. His mistrust for their intentions and his viewpoint that they were not genuinely

interested in his welfare led him to an attitude of cynicism when dealing with these

inserted male figures. Que pensively recalled his perceptions about these individuals:

My mom would have some of her friends…some of her girlfriends’ boyfriends or

husbands, whatever, kind of, uh, try to spend some time with me and say, “Hey,
why don’t we go to Baskin Robbins and go for a talk?” And the reality of it is, I
appreciated that they tried, but they really didn’t know. So it’s like: you don’t
know me, I don’t know you. You ain’t around enough for me to share, so let’s
just cut it. Let’s just keep it real. You know, you’re cool, I’ll tell you
about…yeah…you know…my schooling is good…I’m getting good grades, you
know…because I have to…because if I don’t get good grades my mom’s not
going to let me play. So…Y’all don’t come to my games, y’all don’t know me. I
don’t know you. I’m not going to see you…probably another two or three
months…So…But I appreciate the effort. So thank you. (Que)

When prompted to share his perceptions on whether his uncles filled the hole left

by his father, Tony stated:

No. They didn’t fill the hole. It’s, it’s…I don’t think it’s something that someone
can just fill. You know, I think it’s either you’re there….A child sees his mother
and his father...Even if he never sees his dad, he knows he has a dad…So for them
to…for you to ask me that, I would say no, they didn’t fill that gap. It’s not
something that anybody can just fill. (Tony)
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Overall, all participants expressed their belief that there was a void left in their

lives as a result of father absence. Whether consciously or unconsciously, participants

acknowledged they attempted to fill the gap by seeking other individuals or activities

offering the lessons and developmental tools they perceived they would have received

from their fathers. In spite of the significant value placed on the substitutes, a majority of

participants conceded that none were enough to replace the empty feeling created by

father absence or paternal apathy.

Finding Four: Participants indicated that the fatherless experience was

instrumental in shaping their development as an emotional being

A significant number of participants shared how fatherlessness impacted their

emotional wellbeing. A majority of participants indicated they perceived deficiencies in

their emotional development affecting their transition into manhood and were key

contributors in shaping the men they became. A common perception among participants

was the viewpoint that fathers play a significant role in teaching their sons to be

comfortable with emotionality and tolerant of the expression of emotion among those

with whom they interact. The following sections outline the commonly expressed

participant views on various aspects of their emotional health and development.

Fear. A majority of participants admitted fear was a major factor driving their

approaches to fathering. They shared how decision making and interactions with their

sons often centered on a fear originating from their experience of being abandoned by

their fathers, from the treatment they received from a father figure, or from the emotional

distance that existed between them and apathetic fathers. One fear expressed by an

overwhelming majority of participants was that of failing as a father or not being “good
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enough” to father their boys. Below are some of the ways participants described their

fear. Malcolm shared the intense experience of fear that he would follow the path of his

father and that the relationship he initially attempted to build with his son was beyond his

control:

I guess my biggest fear was I was, somewhere deep inside me, that I WAS my
father, and I was going to fail. That I was going to implode at some point, against
that…that…against everything that I had tried, that I was just going to snap,
implode, and crash, burn to the ground. That was my biggest concern, that there
were forces that were at work against my father and mother, these forces had
targeted me also. And that, you know, it was…generational, that it was out of my
control. That was my biggest fear…that my relationship with my son was not in
my control. (Malcolm)

Armando had similar perceptions about his own predestination of being like his

father. He aptly described his concern about his propensity to repeat some of his father’s

behaviors that he perceived wounded him during his childhood and adolescent years:

I think that if someone like myself that comes from a dysfunctional or broken
home wants to make a change, the best way that they could make that change is
by being a man and by living up to their commitments and their responsibilities
while at the same time not settling for less in anything for himself or in selecting
his spouse or for his children. It’s very easy to do less, but I grew up with parents
that did…nothing is perhaps an overstatement, but not by much. And I was
extremely reluctant to have children. I was scared of having children for a long
time because I felt as though I was, in some respect, predestined to repeat the
cycle. (Armando)

A significant majority of participants identified the feelings they experienced

when they first learned they were going to be fathers. Robert cited fear as one of the

primary emotions he felt when he discovered he would have a son:

I didn't want to repeat what my father did, that I do not do it. So it's easier said
than done. And I was scared. I didn't know what to do. I didn't know how to do
it, how to take care of a kid, how to be there for the kid, how to drop the things
that, you know, you like to do for fun, because you have a kid and the kid needs
your attention. (Robert)
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When asked what his primary feelings were upon discovering he would father

a son, David’s prompt response was, “if I would be good enough. I was afraid.” He

elaborated by stating:

I just…I didn’t trust me yet. I just didn’t know if I was going to be good enough.
And I knew, I knew what being hard and being a disciplinarian was like, but I
didn’t know if I was going to be smart enough to navigate them, navigate…HELP
them navigate through and give them things that they needed to become good
men. (David)

Participants also expressed that their fear of failure went beyond the perceptions

of not being good enough for the role of father into their situational awareness and ability

to deal with the numerous scenarios they would encounter as they attempted to father

their sons. John Q cited the lack of exposure to his father as a factor in his feeling of

being ill prepared for some of the situations he would face as a father:

My biggest fears were that I would not be able to, um…I would not be able to
handle certain situations that could potentially arise, because I did not have the
experience from when I was a child. Umm…My biggest fear was not being able
to perform some types of role that I would normally be expected to perform as a
dad, through ignorance of not having the experience as a child. (John Q)

Some participants described a pseudo-paralysis that they perceived as a result of

the fears they developed about fulfilling the role of father, having never witnessed great

positive models of fathering. The researcher observed that Luis was markedly flustered

as he pondered on the crippling effect of his intense fears on his ability to effectively

father. He stated, “It affects me by doing nothing…because I’m here. I want to do this,

but I can’t do it. I can’t. I don’t know why.” JP described how intense fear of the

inability to provide financially for his family was so paralyzing that it drove him toward

negative behaviors:
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My biggest fear was just…being able to support them through their lives
financially, but also being there for them in their lives to support them throughout
what they’re going through. I always grew up with this idea that I’m always
gonna be like the hero in a situation, and so that’s the way I wanted it to be with
my sons, or even in my first marriage, where I’m gonna be the hero. If there was
someone bothering my ex-wife or my sons and I needed to play the hero, here I
come. Or there was something going on financially and my ex-wife didn’t have
the money to do it, then I was gonna play the hero and fix that and this and that,
but unfortunately I wasn’t able to do that because I just kinda fell apart. I would
be there for, like, if I needed to be there to protect my family, I would be there,
but as far as like the other aspects of it, it was too much pressure I put on myself
‘cause every day I would worry. Like, what if I get fired from my job? What if I
can’t provide food on the table for my kids or for my ex-wife? Or what if I can’t
put…It was just every day with just constant stress. And like they say, pressure
busts a pipe, and that’s what happened. When my pipe burst, it was like to the
point where I just started reverting back to the streets or reverting back to my old
ways, and it ended up landing me in prison and taking me away from my kids and
my family. (JP)

Some participants described the trauma associated with being abandoned by their

father. David was noticeably shaken as he recollected the feelings he associated with

abandonment. He poignantly represented the impact his experience of both paternal and

maternal abandonment had on him:

I think because not only did I deal with the abandonment of my father in my
early, early years, I was abandoned by my mom as well. And I think that’s what
made me decide to spend the 4 ½ years seeking counseling and therapy. So I
think I’ve always had this huge fear of women leaving me, because my mom was
all I had, and then I was living with my grandparents, and she would come in on
the weekends, some weekends she would come see me. And then leave. And
every time she left, I’d cry. (David)

Trust. Participants also indicated that another aspect of their emotional make-up

involved their ability to trust others—particularly men. Malcolm described his feelings

toward other men as a result of the experiences that he had with his father:

I was suspicious of other men during that period of time. I went to a Catholic
school. And while I never experienced any challenges with priests—you know a
lot of things have happened with priests and children over the years—I never
experienced any of that. Um, and then there was my uncle as well. I never had
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any challenges with, with the priests or with my uncle, but I was always very
suspicious of men, authority figures that were in my life. And I didn’t have a lot
of trust for men who were in authority. Having to call the priests “father,” as we
do in the Catholic Church, was equally difficult for me. Having to say that word
over and over again, was, was difficult for me. So the anxiety and the fear, and
the distrust was always present for me. (Malcolm)

The mistrust that Malcolm harbored for other men altered his interpersonal interactions.

He elaborated on this when he stated, “I am certain that….for a very long time, I shackled

myself, or protected myself, in a way that made me unapproachable to both men and

women.”

Armando also shared how his experiences impacted the trust he had in other men.

He outlined how his interactions with men were often conducted with skepticism and an

expectation of disappointment:

I think I operate under the premise that people in general can’t be trusted. And
certainly when it comes to men, my experiences with men have been much more
confrontational than anything else. And so that has been my sort of default
perspective when it comes to that kind of a relationship. It’s not, “Oh gee, here’s
my buddy that I can confide in.” (Armando)

Jeban poignantly described his general mistrust of adults, even those who were

rather close to him:

Until probably four years ago, I had an issue with trusting men. I had a big issue
with it. I didn’t trust people. Male, female…I didn’t trust my ex-wife…even
though she didn’t do anything to me. I didn’t trust her. I didn’t trust that she was
going to be there forever. (Jeban)

Resentment. Several participants expressed the value of fathers in providing the

guidance necessary to navigate life’s challenges. As a result, they acknowledged that

they perceived themselves as significantly disadvantaged by their experiences of father

absence. Feelings of resentment were common among these participants, particularly

toward their fathers. JP described the point during his adolescent years when the
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frustration at the apathy and emotional distance characterizing the relationship with

his father peaked:

My father…just a real cold temperament in his approach to me, so for that, I

couldn’t make heads or tails of it as a kid because I kept beating myself up
because I kept looking at myself, “Well, there’s something wrong with you.” So
whenever I kept reaching out, it was like they kept pushing my hand away. So I
just…It kinda really crippled me mentally and emotionally.
That’s when I started to really get a lot of animosity toward my father
because it’s like, you wanna sit there and you wanna tell me how to be this way or
that way, but you’re never there to really show me or be by my side step-by-step
to really guide me in that process. I’m the one left to figure it out. (JP)

The pain of abandonment and the resentment it created was shared by Luis. He

mentioned that his father had ample opportunity to be present for his children but gave up

this opportunity in lieu of his participation in his new family.

I feel like we got abandoned. Like, instead of my dad having us be with him
because he got married, he put us with his brother somewhere else, like, six or
seven hundred miles away. You know? Like, hours away driving. And see, I’m
thinking, “Well, if my dad really loved me…” He’d only come see us every six
months; one time every six months. And that was…It got stuck in my head why
my dad did it, you know. It was me and my sister. (Luis)

John Q’s description of his feelings of resentment was comprehensive. He

criticized the inability of his father to prioritize the wellbeing of his children above the

issues taking place in his marriage:

My attitude toward my father now is one, um….I am…I would say it’s very
complex. I have, um….I do not have any anger toward my dad. I bear some…I
bear a lot of resentment because I feel like what he did is comparable to
abandonment. So I do still harbor a lot of resentment, because I feel like, um,
regardless of the issues that you may have with your spouse, it should not affect
your interaction with your children. My dad allowed his, um, problems with my
mother to affect my relationship with him and his relationship with me. So I have
a little bit of…I have a lot of resentment, because I feel like he could have put in a
lot more effort in trying to establish a relationship with me, or what have you. I
also, some of that resentment comes from the fact that after I got older in life, and
I tried to establish myself, you know, educationally and career, etcetera, then he
was more than happy to come around and share in those successes. And I bear
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resentment because I feel like he did not contribute in, um, he did not
contribute in harvesting the grain, but yet, um…he wanted to partake in the eating
of the bread, to use an analogy. (John Q)

Emasculation and inadequacy. Participants also shared the belief that father

absence resulted in feelings of emasculation and inadequacy. They perceived that these

feelings of inadequacy sometimes manifested in the form of self-doubt and a lack of

identity. Here are some of the ways in which participants expressed this perception.

First, after expressing frustration at his father for not being there, Jeban shared his

feelings of never being comfortable with his identity:

That was a lack of not knowing who I was, not being okay…Cause I used to be,
uh, angry about being dark, because my brother and my sister are very light
skinned. And I was the only dark one. So I dealt with issues growing up all my
life, being a middle child, being the only dark one, being, um…not good…feeling
like I wasn’t good enough, no matter what I achieved in my life, I felt like it
wasn’t good enough. It never was good enough. (Jeban)

Robert expressed the similar experience at struggling to discover his identity well

into his manhood:

It was difficult for me to grasp that, you know, my real dad didn't want to be there
for me, didn't love me, I did something wrong. So growing, growing up and
going through teenage years, going through my early 20s, I struggled a lot with
relationships, I struggled with, uh, um, just trying to figure out who I am and what
I want to become; it was pretty tough for me. And in just communication as well,
how to communicate properly, um...your feelings and ideals. It was pretty tough
for me to do that, at those ages. (Robert)

Malcolm recalled feelings of uncertainty and a lack of confidence as he grappled

with his own fatherless development.

And I was always concerned about being like my father, and being like my father
to my son. That always concerned me. So I had…As I went to those…those
benchmark moments in life, graduation, having my first child…I just remember
being uncertain…not having a lot of confidence, you know. I was very smart.
Intellectually, I was…I could always talk with the best of them. But internally, I
always felt very unsure of myself. (Malcolm)
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Participants also indicated their feelings of inadequacy when comparing

themselves to what they perceived a man to be. Jeban was one who perceived himself as

falling short; he stated, “So you know, I try my best to…I know I’m short. I fall short in

a lot of areas in my life…I haven’t…I don’t think I’ve met all the criteria, but I strive

daily to make the right decisions to do the right thing.” Rich stated:

I’m far from it. I mean, my ideal man would be…It’s almost too perfect. I don’t
think it’s achievable. Um…I think that I’m like halfway there. Um, the fact that I
don’t live with my firstborn is primarily why I feel like I’m failing.

Unloved and misunderstood. Most participants acknowledged that their feelings

of inadequacy referred to above were rooted in their own perceptions of feeling unloved.

JP provided a rather profound description of his feelings of neglect and how they

centered on the lack of affirmation and expressions of love from his father:

I felt that they kinda gave up loving me or wanting to care for me because I would
remember…I don’t know how old I was, but I was pretty young. I was looking
for them to reach out to me to maybe give me a hug or console me and say, “Hey,
I love you and you’re my son,” and stuff like that, and when I couldn’t get that,
then pretty much I would dwell on it, and…You know as a little kid, you’re not
supposed to be thinking about that type of stuff. You’re not supposed to be
thinking about, “Well, how come my parents…” or in this case, my dad…“How
come they don’t love me like that?” or “How come they neglect me like that?”
That stayed on my mind as a kid, I mean, all the way up until my teenage years
and even my early years as a man because it just kinda like left me emotionally,
mentally deficient because I…It just kinda confused me. (JP)

Que reflected on never hearing his father express love for him, stating, “If I would

have heard those words when I was a young kid, when I needed it, man. It would have

been wonderful.” The perception of being unloved impacted Que well into his

adulthood. Rich also described a conversation with his mother when he learned that his
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father had asked for him to be aborted. He described how that knowledge has

impacted his entire life thus far:

I think my feelings would be, uh…you know, being unwanted, um…I felt like,
okay. I always had this inclination that I wanted to seek my father and meet him.
Say like, “Hey, look how I’ve developed. Look how I’ve turned out. Look how
much…look what hard work, effort to be successful at work and my family.
(Rich)

David painfully recalled the feelings of rejection he endured well into his

adulthood. He described a scenario in his 20s when he reached out to his biological

father:

I called him. And I think I was early 20s or something. And, um…when I called,
he, you know…I did the uncomfortable, “I think I’m your son” thing, and…He
asked me, um…did I have a degree? Cause all of the men in his family had
degrees. So…You know. And at the time, I had just come through what I felt
like was a hell for me, just surviving, trying to go through this technical school.
So basically what he was telling me is, “you’re not good enough.” And then he
somewhat implied that…“and I’m not necessarily sure you’re mine, because your
mom was kind of seeing more than just me.” (David)

The majority of participants perceived that their experiences of physically and

emotionally distant fathers left them with numerous unanswered questions. The lack of

resolution was a significant factor as they attempted to rationalize their self-worth with

the behaviors of their fathers. Participants described several examples of how the lack of

closure continued to impact their lives well into adulthood. David recounted that prior to

meeting his father for the first time at age 41, the pain of not even knowing his father

haunted him. He outlined the numerous questions he faced on a daily basis:

My pain lived with me daily…I would think about what he looked like, what he
sounded like, how he stood, how he walked. I would think about everything
about him. I would literally look at strangers sometimes and wonder if that
person was my father, and that was until I met him at the age of 41. It was just
like I have to go find this guy. I can’t live like this anymore. Just to look at him.
(David)
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Finding Five: A majority of participants communicated that their lived experiences

made them more susceptible to behaviors that repeated elements of their fatherless
experience with their sons

The responses from participants in this study suggested that fathers play a

significant role as teacher and guide (see Finding 6). Behaviors among participants’

fathers that precluded their ability to provide models of positive male citizenship to their

sons were prominent. Faced with either no model or negative models of fathering,

several participants perceived that their readiness for the role of father was compromised

and they faced an increased proclivity toward negative approaches to fathering over their

peers from dual-parent households. These negative fathering behaviors described by

participants included actions that highlighted fathers’ unavailability, lack of involvement,

lack of emotional support, and failure at being present to teach their sons.

Negative perceptions of fathers. A fundamental element of participants’

perceived susceptibility to repeating such behaviors was the negative perceptions they

developed about their fathers as a result of the physical or emotional distance they

experienced. The unavailability of participants’ fathers was captured in their expressions

of not really knowing their fathers. Tony stated, “I didn’t really know the man that

well…at all, really. Cause like I said, I only see him around like three times in my life.”

Que also described his perception of his father as just “another dude” when he said, “I

didn’t really know him. But you know…We talked a little bit. And it was kind of like

just talking to another dude. Yeah, you’re my biological dad, but you’re not a father.”

Participants also cited traumatic experiences with their fathers as the impetus for

the aforementioned negative perceptions. Some participants (3 of 13 [23%]) described

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the horrific experience of watching their fathers physically and emotionally abuse

their mothers. Malcolm provided a poignant and profound description of his path to

fatherlessness as he stated, “I was physically separated from my father….physically

separated from my father after the death…the murder of my mother. My father murdered

my mother, at the age of 12, and it began a long period in fatherlessness.” Malcolm

proceeded to describe the immeasurable fear and anxiety this event created during

subsequent years after this traumatic incident.

I was actually afraid of my father after he killed my mother. And I always felt
that my father was going to appear out of nowhere …It was difficult to look
around the environments where I played or competed and not expect for him to
show up at some point. So it was...just a high level of anxiety when he was not
around. And because I was instrumental in him being sent to prison, I was always
concerned that he would come back and hurt me. (Malcolm)

Environment of desensitization to fatherlessness. A majority of participants

expressed the viewpoint that the environments in which they grew up were ones

condoning father absence as the norm, creating desensitization to the seriousness of the

phenomenon. One participant, Johnny Bee, described his neighborhood as one where

there were very few families with present fathers.

Maybe it was a self-destructive personality, because I see that in my brother. You

know, who…same background. He’s never figured it out. So I think we battled
the same type of emotions growing up. He’s never got out of it…He’s got six
illegitimate children from six different moms. That’s just kind of how it was as
we were kids, it’s how the people in our neighborhood, there was lots and lots of
single moms…Unfortunately, there were no real solid family foundations.
(Johnny Bee).

Tony described an environment in which he perceived that African American men

were conditioned to abandon their families.

So it becomes almost like, it is understood…This is what we do, exactly. We are

so conditioned to leave our families behind…because it was previously done and
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it was so easy to do in our minds, that I can do the same thing. If I don’t like
what I see and I don’t like how it feels and how things are going, I can bail out so
easily. (Tony)

Hancock shared his experiences from when he had his first sons and how he held

the misguided belief that financial support was all that was necessary from a father.

When I had my kids, I’m thinking if I provide my kids with money, then I really
don’t have to be there a lot like I’m supposed to be there. I just…It’s just
like…Um…Like…I thought eventually money was going to surpass me being
there. And now I see I should have been there versus having the money or trying
to make money. (Hancock)

Some participants, in commenting on the influence of their environment,

described their perceptions, derived from their own exposure, that mothers and

grandmothers were the ones who took care of children and fathers were not as necessary.

Johnny Bee described his experience of having his first child in high school:

I allowed myself to have a child and let her take full responsibility for the first
couple of years, cause not really knowing, because you know, that happened to
me, and it happened to other people that I knew, and the people who were in my
environment who had no dads were kind of the same thing. Young parents, big
deal…their mom or the grandma will take care of the child and, you know, it’s no
big deal. (Johnny Bee)

Perpetuation of father absence. One participant, Rich, provided a poignant

reflection of how he believed father absence contributed to his own propensity to repeat

the absence he experienced. He was a father of three sons but no longer lived with his

oldest son as a result of a failed relationship with his first wife. He spoke of the

independence he was forced to develop as a result of father absence.

The fact that, you know, you’re not dependent means like you…you really…If
you want to give up, you can give up. I think part of growing up, when you have
your father or your mentor, uh, tell you like, “don’t give up. Keep trying. Get
up”….And for me, if I didn’t think that it was worth it, I’d just simply give up. I
just…I think that’s something that’s taught to you. But if no one tells you, “Don’t
give up, keep trying,” you don’t use that, you know…how you apply it in life. So
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I, I easily gave up on things that may or may not have been important, but you
know…I think that if my father was there…I had my father participating in my
life, he probably would have told me, “Hey, don’t give up on your marriage.
Don’t quit. Keep trying.” (Rich)

Several participants expressed disappointment at having perpetuated

fatherlessness onto their own sons. Rich described the dreaded realization that he

repeated the behaviors of his father upon discovering his wife was pregnant with his first

son:

I’m pretty ashamed because we were actually in the process of separating.

Um…And I didn’t want to be with her anymore. I was like, what should we do?
Is, you know, abortion an option? I…I’m really ashamed to even say that that
was a thought in my mind. Um…but it was. And that…the fact that I thought
about it, I was like, “Oh my God, I’m doing exactly what my biological dad did.”
You know. He had the notion of doing the abortion and so did I. (Rich)

Hancock regretfully admitted he never spent time with his firstborn son. He

stated, “I have never had a conversation. Like, I’ve seen him, when he was a baby. Like,

six, nine months old…less than a year.” He also described how he created the same

physical and emotional distance from his second son—a similarity to the relationship he

shared with his father. He painfully disclosed that he saw a lot of the rebellious

behaviors in son that he displayed himself as a result of father absence.

My son right now…he’s so angry with me, he feels like I’ve never been there.
It’s really hurting me, because I really have to go through my son like this…So
now it’s kind of like, I’m…mad that I waited this long, because I feel like my
son’s not supposed to be doing things like he’s doing right now. And it’s because
I wasn’t there. And I just see myself in him, and I see all the decisions I started
making at that same age. (Hancock)

JP also described how he passed on father absence to his offspring. He first

shared about the moment when he realized he was inflicting the same pain under the

guise of discipline that his emotionally distant father inflicted on him.

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I know there’s something wrong here, but I couldn’t stop it, because every
time my stepson would mess up, I would discipline him the same way that I was
disciplined…I couldn’t stop myself. It was the only way I knew how to
discipline. It was like, what I said I would never be, I am…because I am a
reflection of my father…how he disciplined me. It was brutal. And the cold
thing with it was I didn’t have a problem doing it. (JP)

JP went on to painstakingly describe the devastating impact it had on him as he

realized he was becoming the kind of father he dreaded as he was growing up:

But the ugly side of that, I turned out just like my father. I did the same exact
thing that my father did and…I talked to him in the same way that my father did
with this kid. My ex-wife told me, “Hey, you’re affecting this kid. He’s always
in his room, and he’s crying and he thinks you don’t like him or he feels the
things that you say to him are true.” My father used to say “You’re stupid and
dumb, and I wouldn’t amount to nothing.” So I called this kid the same thing
when he would mess up or when he wouldn’t listen. I knew that I was repeating
history just like how history happened to me. So I definitely told myself growing
up I didn’t wanna be like my father but, unfortunately, the ugly side of that
was…My father’s imperfections became my imperfections. (JP)

Luis also described how he demonstrated behaviors very similar to what he

witnessed in his father. When prompted to describe his level of involvement with his

sons, Luis described having zero interaction with his first son and minimal contact with

his second son. He was rather candid as he characterized his paternal involvement.

I’m not there 100%. I guess I’m scared of showing him love. I think I guess I’m
scared to be attached to them because I know how this relationship is going. It’s
like I’m gonna lose him…I’m tired…going to court back and forth…You want to
have my kids, you can have my kids. I’m at the point… [Gestures washing
hands] I wash my hands. You deal with them. (Luis)

Referring to his frustrated outburst about washing his hands of his children, Luis

acknowledged that simply giving up on his children because of relationship difficulty was

contrary to his own values but reminiscent of the behaviors demonstrated by his father.

He stated:
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To be honest with you, I don’t think that’s the right way to do. That’s not
right. I think the right way to do it is just, you fight for your kids, you be
responsible with your kids, but the bad thing is that I’m not doing it. I’m
comprehending what’s going on. It’s just I’m not doing it. Why? I don’t know.
(Luis)

Robert shared about the moments in his life that he perceived to be high points

and low points. He hesitantly spoke of the broken relationship with his son’s mother that

resulted in him no longer living in the same residence as his son. Robert described this as

follows:

And then low points would be, uh, probably, probably not being able to see my
son every day. That's a low point for me. His mother and I split. So not being
able to see him every day, not being involved in his life everyday kind of sucks a
lot…so what it makes me feel about me is that I failed him a little bit…I feel like I
failed him.

The majority of participants perceived that their experience of father absence or

paternal apathy hampered their readiness for fathering but also increased their penchant

for behaviors that repeated their experience for their sons. The responses provided by

participants showcased how fatherlessness contributed to their negative perceptions of

fathers and how their environments growing up may have desensitized them to the

importance of fathers. Both of these factors in turn contributed to participants’ reluctant

demonstration of behaviors resembling those of their fathers.

Finding Six: All participants communicated the belief that the most important role
of a father is that of teacher and model

Participants shared candidly about their own perceptions of how fathers contribute

to the emotional, social, and cognitive development of their sons. Several roles perceived

as the role of the father in a household were brought to the fore. One particularly popular

perception described by the majority of participants was that a key role for fathers was to
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provide affirmation for their sons. Two participants provided analogies profoundly

capturing the importance of fathers affirming their sons. Jeban described how

photographs are taken to capture moments and compared this to the mental photographs

fatherless men take throughout their life journey that capture only moments in which

there is no father in the picture.

We take pictures for moments. And those pictures that we take inside our mind,
when we take that picture and fathers are not there…it’s a key component
missing. Because when I do good…I want to hear my father say, “That was good,
son.” Um…I think that’s important. And that’s why I’ll always go out of my
way for my sons. Because when they take those mental pictures and talk about
events in their life, I want them to say, “Mom AND my daddy stood there.”
(Jeban)

David, on the other hand, shared a biblical example he believed confirmed the

need for paternal affirmation. When prompted to describe what he perceived would have

been different had his father been in his life, David unequivocally responded,

“Validation…validation.” He went on to provide the following explanation and biblical

imagery:

Let me say it this way. I believe in God…and I got a revelation one day. When
Jesus was baptized…and he rose from the water and then the heavens opened up,
and then the spirit of God came down in the form of a dove. And God’s own
voice says, “This is my beloved son, in whom I’m well pleased.” And I read that
and read that, just thinking…Oh…God’s telling the people watching Jesus be
baptized, “Listen to my son, because he’s my son.” And my thought was, so what
is God doing? He’s validating Jesus, right? You’re my baby boy. I’m proud of
you. And my thought was, if Jesus, a perfect man, needed to be validated by his
father, then how much do our imperfect children need the same validation?
(David)

Although the latter example was rooted in the respondent’s personal spirituality, it

aptly captured the importance shared by several other participants about the confidence-

building role of an affirming father. Nevertheless, an overwhelming majority of

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participants indicated that despite the numerous roles fathers play, the most important

one is that of teacher and model to their sons. Tony actually stated, “I believe that men

are, uh, gifted with teaching or giving that instruction of being responsible.” From the

responses captured, there were several aspects of the teacher role played by fathers.

Fathers model being a man. Fathers teach their sons the fundamental aspects of

being a man. John Q described this perceived responsibility of fathers, indicating that

even though mothers may be able to relay these lessons, the teachings were more

“digestable” coming from a father.

There are certain experiences, certain learning experiences or certain

developmental experiences, ranging from simple things like tying a tie and
shaving, to more, um, significant things like dealing with females and dealing
with the opposite sex. And there were certain things that...I would be able to
digest better coming from a male perspective as opposed to a female perspective,
and these are just…things that I observed that my mother would not be able to
teach me in the same way a dad that was around would be able to teach.

Johnny Bee also spoke of the importance of fathers teaching the basic skills

associated with being a man after pensively reflecting on what he thought was the biggest

disadvantage of not having his father around.

Being able to look back and see you know, what I missed. I mean, you miss so
much not having a father in place. You know, teaching you the right from wrong,
how to throw a ball. You know, just being there for guidance and just somebody
to talk to you and, you know, teach you how to be a man. You don’t have that
with a mom, you know.

He further commented:

A father should be somebody who gives you unconditional love and support. You
need somebody who is going to be there to support you…and no matter what you
do…being there to teach you…whether it’s teaching you to tie your shoes or ride
your bike, how to do your mathematics, shaking hands, looking people in the
eye…all the little things that you don’t necessarily get from a mom. You
know…chin up, chest out. These are things that resonate with me as I speak to
my children.
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Fathers teach from their experience. Participants also suggested that

another key aspect of fathers being models and teachers was their ability to draw on their

own experiences to guide their sons. Some participants identified the lack of access to

their fathers lived experiences as a key factor contributing to their challenges in

transitioning from adolescence into manhood. Without the experience of a father

providing guidance based on his life experiences, participants spoke either hypothetically

or described their experiences with their son(s). Que captured his perception of the role

of father by stating, “A father begets into his son…that is, a father takes the essence of

who he is and transfers that into his child.” John Q shared a similar concept of a father’s

responsibility as a teacher and model to transfer his full experience to his son. When

asked to describe his perceptions about being a father to a son, John Q provided the

following commentary:

[It means] I would be able to transfer the full experience to the child. If I had a
female child first, then I probably would have been a bit hesitant…but as far as a
male, I think that I was happy, because I thought that I had being a male under
control at that point and I would be able to, um, successfully raise my son and be
able to convey to him all of the values that I gained over my years,
and…encourage all the positive experiences that I had, and also the negative
experiences I had.

Participants spoke about using their prior experiences, both positive and negative,

with intentionality. Tony shared leveraging the lessons he has learned and his life

experiences to inform how he provided guidance to his children, extended family, and

loved ones. Jeban described how he approached guiding his sons through his life

experiences and how he built the trust of his sons by challenging them to describe a

scenario they could possibly endure that he had not.

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I tell my son, “Son, there’s nothing you could ever do that I ain’t done. Name
it…I promise you, I can tell you when I done it, where I done it, how I done
it…name one scenario that you’ve been through that I ain’t been through yet.” I
say, “don’t be afraid to talk to me about something, because I’m not going to tell
you what to do, but I’ll tell you how it affected me, making the wrong decision, so
you can make the right one.” (Jeban)

Fathers teach/model responsibility. One term an overwhelming majority of

participants associated with fatherhood was the word responsibility. Participants

predominantly believed the main characteristic an effective, active father must possess

was responsibility. They characterized responsibility in multiple forms including

responsibility for one’s actions, responsibility for one’s household, and responsibility to

the external community among others. Regardless of how they described the

responsibility a father should model, participants overwhelmingly thought a father must

model or teach this concept of personal responsibility to their sons.

Johnny Bee thought of responsibility in a rather literal sense of “doing what you

say and saying what you mean.” He passionately captured the lessons he did not have as

a fatherless youth, which he tries desperately to impart in his sons. While sharing the key

lessons he would like to pass on to his sons, he stated:

Take responsibility for your actions, first and foremost. I mean, you own it, you
know. I see so many people just walk away from something, whether it’s your
kid or a project. If you start something, you finish it. That’s the big thing with
me and my kids. I don’t care if it’s a puzzle, if it’s, you know, food on your
plate…whatever it is, you started it, you finish it. You know. Do what you say,
and say what you mean at all times. (Johnny Bee)

Tony readily expressed his view that responsibility was a key component to

fatherhood and described the role of fathers in teaching lessons about personal

responsibility to their sons. He shared about the complexity of transitioning through

adolescence without a father figure to teach him about being responsible.

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As an adolescent, I think that’s where a father really comes into play to help a
child realize their responsibilities…It was very difficult. Because in our society
we’re supposed to be an adult once we graduate from high school. So it was
just…about learning to be responsible. And at that time, not having a father
figure, it’s really difficult because you don’t have someone, again, to teach you
responsibility. Especially as a man, because growing up, young boys, if they
don’t have that father there to show them that you’re going to be responsible for
taking care of your family, taking care of your children. (Tony)

Armando recalled the depression that his fatherless experienced created and how

he immersed himself in comic books as a place of refuge. Upon reflecting on his fear of

overcompensating for his lack of a father in his father-son relationship, Armando quipped

that he “would much rather be around to teach him about what it means to have moral

responsibility than have him kind of cut adrift on his own and having to figure it out

through comic books.” His statement reflected his own disappointment at the paucity of

guidance in his life and his commitment to actively teach elements of responsibility to his

offspring.

Fathers teach/model effective behaviors for family life. Another way in which

participants perceived fathers as teachers and models was in a family setting. Participants

described some of the key lessons they believe should originate with a father. Often, they

considered how they made the transition to manhood without ever being taught the lesson

of how to interact with one’s family members and how they had to learn these lessons

from other sources or via trial and error. Particularly, participants considered family life

as synonymous with interacting with a spouse.

John Q pondered the aspects of his personal development he perceived were

lacking as a result of his father’s absence.

Those are things that I feel like a dad in the household would have been able to
show me; you know, explain to me or show me by his example that this is how a
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man is supposed to operate within the house or the society. This is how a man
is supposed to treat a woman, a spouse, or whatever. These are the things that a
man is supposed to do…that I can point to, that I feel were missing. (John Q)

Upon further reflection, John Q also described his lack of exposure to a father

operating in a domestic setting as a significant disadvantage during his transition into

manhood.

I did not have a sense of what the male’s domestic responsibilities were because
my mom performed all of those roles. Whatever she was not able to do, she was
able to…to hire help or get outside help to take care of those things. I was not
able to observe how a man was supposed to relate to or treat his wife, or his
spouse, or his girlfriend. That was not something that I had an example that I
could emulate in my own house, I had to turn to the streets, or to TV, or what I
leaned from observing other people’s households. (John Q)

John Q’s commentary mirrored that of several other participants who believed a

key lesson to be taught by a father, and one they intended to teach to their sons, involved

taking adequate care of oneself and one’s family. Tony captured this rather succinctly

when he stated, “I think the key lessons that I’ve passed on to my sons are being honest,

showing integrity, and showing love for themselves and for their spouses.”

Finding Seven: A majority of participants shared a personal discomfort with the

expression of emotion but believed they had to teach their sons to be comfortable
with expressing their feelings

Fathers in this study overwhelmingly described a personal discomfort with the

expression of emotion. While several admitted experiencing a myriad of emotions, they

were particularly adamant that they were absolutely uncomfortable with any public

display of emotions other than those connoting toughness. Participants sometimes cited

the environments in which they grew up as ones particularly intolerant of excessive

displays of emotion among men. In fact, participants predominantly considered

emotional expression and crying to be synonymous.

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Views on emotional expression. When asked whether father absence

impacted their perceptions about emotional expressiveness, participants provided rather

short and candid responses. Que responded, “Absolutely! Where I grew up, if you cry,

he is a punk! Um, if you hugged, he is a punk! That was weak!” Robert was essentially

dismissive of the thought of expressing emotion and quipped, “Uh, there was none

[dismissive]. No man, never. Girls I dated were like, ‘You never smile,’ [laughs]. Cause

I had no emotion.” Robert emphasized his perception that the absence of his father

played a significant role in his inability to be emotionally expressive. Johnny Bee was

frank in his commentary about emotional expression and the impact of father absence.

He said, “Not allowed. Without having a father myself, and a lot of people I know in that

same environment were taught it was the norm to not cry. Suck it up, don’t cry.” Johnny

Bee went further to describe his beliefs about allowing his sons to see him expressing

emotions. He stated:

I don’t know…..That would probably never happen… So, even like a death in the
family…I’m very, very, very sad, but I feel that I’ve got to be the pillar of the
family, you know. Be the strong one, the rock. And if I’m sad…I just leave.
You know, go and then come back, and give whoever needs hugs, hugs. (Johnny
Bee)

Another participant, Jeban, described how he handled his emotions and mentioned

that in the absence of his father during his adolescent years, he received some advice

from other adults who ushered him to “Grow a spine!” and informed him to never “let

people see you weak. That’s a form of weakness if you cry in front of people.” That

seemingly minor incident, according to Jeban, affected him for many years. He captured

the impact of that advice when he stated, “I kept everything bottled up, and I didn’t show
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my emotions…I didn’t…Because my perception was, a man is strong. He never lets

his family see him weak, because a form of weakness is crying.”

Rich shared his views on allowing his sons to see a display of emotions, stating,

“I don’t think I’m consciously preventing them from seeing me cry. I think I’ve

hardened up. I think when you’re growing up you…have to tough it out. It’s not too

often I can even see myself crying.” JP was by far the most stoic of all participants in

this study and he provided a rather candid description depicting his perceptions about

emotional expression and how he viewed himself:

I’m kind of emotionless and kind of like, uh, you know, like, like cold in my
expressions. Like in dealing with certain situations…when they get a reaction out
of me, it’s kind of like…I have a black heart or, you know, ice runs through my
veins and stuff like that. I’m trying to learn…how to bring emotion back into
myself because, you know, I mean, just what I learned from my father…that you
just don’t show or let your emotions out like that. (JP)

John Q also highlighted his views that expressing emotions, particularly crying,

was a sign of weakness and a poor example for his sons. When asked to describe his

emotional openness with his son, John Q replied:

Um, obviously I try not to. He has probably seen me cry on one occasion. But as
a general rule of thumb, I try not to…And the reason I try not to is because…I
always want him to view me from a position of strength, from that position of
strength. And I think that if I’m the patriarch of the family, if I’m the leader, if
I’m the provider, if I’m all those things…I still believe in…whether it is imposed
by society or what have you, I still believe that me crying does not set a good
example for my son in terms of strength. (John Q)

Teaching sons the value of emotional expression. While an overwhelming

majority of participants shared the viewpoint that emotional expression was a show of

weakness, several still believed the freedom to be emotionally expressive was something

they wanted to teach their sons. Ironically, a significant majority of participants believed
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a primary responsibility of a father was to teach the importance of emotional honesty

and effective emotional expression. Lacking those paternal lessons, they conceded,

placed them in a position where they often struggled with teaching something they found

difficulty in even tolerating. Interestingly, a majority of participants also shared that they

tried their utmost to openly share positive emotions like affection, care, and love to their

sons.

Armando described the value he placed on teaching his son about emotional

expression even while communicating his admission that “there’s so much of that

[emotions] that I internalized for so long.” He further stated:

I think that I have tried to encourage the positive expression…I should say the
expression of positive emotions, and when the expression of negative emotions
has come up, I try to temper that a bit. I try to work with my son and get him to
understand that it’s okay to be frustrated, but not to the detriment of himself or the
people around him. I think that expressing emotion, even if it is anger, is good. I
think if it is less constructive, you need to be more cognizant of how and when
you express it, but I don’t want my son, for example, to wonder about whether or
not he should jump up and down and be happy if his team wins a game or if his
sister does some neat thing or for that matter if his father or mother do some neat
thing. I want him to be excited about that and be okay with being excited about
that. (Armando)

Armando continued to describe how internalization of emotions was a habit that was

characteristic of two generations of men in his family prior to him:

But I think that my father and his father were both quite stoic and internal sorts of
thinkers and how they expressed their emotion was very internal most of the time
until it kind of built up and then, generally, it was kind of…I don’t know if “rage”
is quite the right word but, certainly, I think he could be perceived that way, and I
have certainly done that myself…And so I wanna steer him away from letting
things build up, letting things eat at him. Say that you’re frustrated. Say that
you’re sad. Say that you’re happy. Get that out. Let people know that. I think
that’s just ultimately better for yourself and everyone around you. (Armando)
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Que underscored his relentless effort at trying to outwardly show his love for

his son through continually telling him “I love you” and openly hugging him. He also

described “reading books for him so he can understand his identity as a young man, and

that he can be tough but, at the same time, he can be endearing and feel and enjoy being

or having a gentle nature.” His effort to show his love for his son was matched by his

effort to teach his son about emotional expression. Despite his stated aversion to

excessive or manipulative crying, Que insisted a key aspect of imparting life lessons to

his son was lessons associated with emotional expression. He shared how a part of this

teaching was honing his son’s vocabulary so that he could effectively use “feeling

words.” He adequately described that, stating, “My son, he’ll cry when his feelings are

hurt. He’ll say, ‘Daddy, my feelings are hurt.’ Because I thought it was important to

teach him feeling words. You have to be able to communicate your feelings.” Que

provided more depth to his commentary by explaining his belief that a father-son

relationship is one in which both strengths and deficiencies should be adequately on

display. He described this belief by saying:

I have a relationship with my son. Relationship means that you’re going to see
my strong points, you’re going to see my vulnerabilities, and you’re going to see
my imperfections; and in it all, we’re going to get through it. (Que)

Jeban described a similar viewpoint. Despite his admission that he grew up

“keeping emotions bottled up inside,” was once advised to “grow a spine,” and was told

that emotional expression was a sign of weakness, Jeban was a staunch advocate of

openly showing affection and care to his offspring. He said:

And I let them know that I love them. And I think that’s a key component to a
man, is being emotional and being okay with being emotional, and not someone
telling you “grow up, grow a spine…be a man.” A man is someone who can
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show their kids that it’s okay to cry, it’s okay to fail. But teach them how to
get up. (Jeban)

John Q also provided a rather poignant description of the lessons he believed a

father needs to teach his sons about emotional expression. He used the example of his

father-son relationship to illustrate the value he placed on such expressiveness. First, he

outlined how he taught the importance of emotional openness:

[I have] great resolve in the area of emotional openness with my son.

Specifically, telling him that I love him and just being open about emotional stuff.
I mean being able to have a heart to heart conversation about feelings and things
that are usually not considered to be the macho, masculine type of things that you
want to talk about. But have a really emotional conversation about how you feel
about certain situations, how does that make him feel about stuff. From the time
my son was able to communicate with me in that way, I made sure that I made it a
priority to convey to my son the idea that he can come to me and he can talk to
me about any issue or problem, matters of the heart, matters of emotion. We
would have a quote unquote “open door policy,” and he should be able to share
any of those things with me. (John Q)

John Q provided a self-evaluation of his effectiveness at teaching and allowing his

son to be emotionally free.

I think I’ve done a good job because my son, right now at seven years old, he’s
able to come to me and does not feel any trepidation whatsoever in opening up to
me and telling me something that he feels sad about, something he’s upset
about…I also let him know that I love him every opportunity that I get because I
think that that’s important in a father-son relationship, even though society
sometimes may say otherwise, you know. So I think that because I did not have
it, did not experience [it] with my own dad, I was resolved to make sure at all
costs to have it with my son, And I think it will pay dividends later on in life.
(John Q)

Although John Q conveyed his effectiveness at teaching his sons the value and

necessity for emotional expression, he aligned with a majority of participants through his

admission about his discomfort with his son crying. He described the internal conflict

that arose as a “tug of war” in which there were forces that suggested “I want him to be
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strong…I do not want him to show weakness” operating against other forces that

suggested “I want him to feel free to express his emotions.” This struggle was common

among participants. John Q further expressed how he attributed a significant portion of

his difficulty with managing this internal conflict to the absence of his father. He stated,

“since I did not have my own dad to help me navigate that situation, I find myself having

difficulty…having internal conflict in terms of how best to advise my sons in matters of

crying.”

Finding Eight: The majority of participants sought or desired emotional closure

from their experience of fatherlessness through a re-established relationship with
their fathers

Participants acknowledged that their experience of father absence was a source of

significant adversity, the impact of which was felt well into their adulthood. Several who

were abandoned early in their lives described a lack of emotional closure and their

perception that they had incomplete identities. More than half the participants described

the desire to rekindle a relationship with their fathers as a means of gaining closure and

understanding more about who they were.

Rekindling a father-son relationship. Que indicated that he gained some

emotional closure on a chance encounter with his father well into his own adulthood.

After the encounter, Que’s father called him and left a recorded message in which he

stated, “And I want you to know that I love you.” This message had a profound impact

on Que as he admitted:

I listened to that message probably about 20 or 30 times. And I never thought that
those words would happen…the impact that they did have on me, as a grown
man. But now that I hear them and I’m an older adult, they have an impact on me
still, but [I] don’t know what to do with it, except acknowledge it, receive it for
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what it’s worth, and let the hostility, resentment, perceptions go. Let it go. So
I let him go…that was like five years [ago]. (Que)

Interestingly, although he was capable of “letting it go,” Que expressed a deep

concern about his desire for his son to have a relationship with his grandfather. The inner

conflict was evident as Que recounted his thought process when faced with the decision

to introduce his father to his sons.

The impact…that I think about is, my son knowing his grandfather. And it’s
like…do I want him to know this man as a grandfather? And have this man
disappoint my son? Or do I let him have the opportunity to be a grandfather?
And that’s what I weigh back and forth.

John Q also described his attempts to rekindle a relationship with his father as a

result of the feelings of incompletion.

When I reached a certain age…I started to realize the things that I was missing in
my life from the dad perspective and so I made a concerted effort to reestablish a
relationship with my dad and to…build the foundation for a better relationship
with him…I took it upon myself to reestablish that relationship.

Robert was visibly impacted as he too described the emotional closure he

experienced after having a few conversations with his father.

I kind of don't only think about my experience with my father…much

anymore…I've grown a whole lot, where that's the past. But I know who I am
now, I know what I want to become even more in my life.

When prompted to outline from where he gained this emotional closure, Robert recalled

the immediate anger he experienced when his father called him in an attempt to repair

their broken relationship.

I think it's when my father reached out to me and I was able to unleash all of the
anger I've had on my chest for 20 plus years....almost my whole life. At that
point, man....At that point, it was kind of like, [sighs]...I’m good…I was
extremely harsh, but...it had to be done…I told him how I felt, and he wanted to
see my son. I said, "No, you ain't seeing my son, because this is not the time to
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see him. We have a lot of stuff to go over before I bring him into the picture."
(Robert)

As he described this multi-conversation encounter with his father, Robert recalled more

of the content of the intense conversation he shared with his father:

I'm a father. I don't understand. I can't perceive anybody…doing the things that
you did to me. I will NEVER do that to my kid. I see him as a part of my
heart…and if he was never in my life…a big portion of me is dead. How could
you do that to me? You just didn't care about me. (Robert)

Robert ultimately overcame his reservations about introducing his son to his father. He

further described the process of meeting his father by stating, “When I was able to go

through that process...It was a healing process for me. To go through there and just tell

him how I felt.”

Malcolm also described continuous feelings of emotional turmoil centering on the

circumstances that led to his father’s absence. He discussed his anxiety about the

generational issue of fatherlessness and the thought that the relationship with his son

would simply follow the trends of broken father-son relationships typical in his family.

Malcolm’s viewpoint changed when he reconnected with his father.

That viewpoint…changed in a phenomenal…way. And I can’t say that I don’t

have moments…of just remembering what I used to feel. I don’t have moments
of that level of anxiety and fear, but I do have those moments where I remember
where I’ve come from. My liberating moment was when I did finally go back and
reconnect and reconcile with my father. And then was able to do it, in retrospect,
was able to do it within 18 months of him dying. I feel like I had…accomplished
a mission…that I had beat the demons…that I had settled whatever score needed
to be settled on my family’s behalf.

Malcolm expanded on the emotional closure he experienced when he was able to

introduce his sons to their grandfather.

I remember the resentment. And ultimately, I remember the liberation that I had
when I introduced them for the first and only time to their grandfather…One of
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the greatest moments of my life was not their births, but my symbolic rebirth
the day I brought their grandfather through the front door for them to see him.
(Malcolm)

Let go and move forward. Having endured significant emotional pain as a result

of fatherlessness and its side effects, a majority of participants expressed their desire to

simply let go of the negative feelings they felt toward their father, even if they never met

their fathers. Tony described when he had this realization as a man in his mid-20s.

I realized that…I have to let that go. I have to release that. And it was almost
like a voice saying that in order for you to move forward you have to let the past
go. So I kind of grabbed hold of that, and realized that I can’t sit back and blame:
“Well my dad is not there, this is why this is happening.” Or “My dad is there,
this is why this is happening.” Any time anything was negative, any fear, it was
easy to blame my dad not being there to teach me. (Tony)

Armando described his decision to let go of the past but cited disbelief that the

relationship with his father would sufficiently improve. He stated, “I think there’s also a

big part of me that, at this point, says, “You know, it’s not going to happen. It’s not.

What I’m looking for from my father…isn’t going to occur, and so I need to accept that

and move past that.”

Forgiveness and reconciliation. A majority of participants cited forgiveness as a

key component in achieving emotional closure. Malcolm provided a rather profound

description of forgiveness:

Forgiving is truly transcending your limitations, not allowing what you perceive
as your personality to be so stagnant that you cannot expand. It’s in that forgiving
that we grow…forgiving is not a concession. It’s an expansion. And it’s not a
dismissal of what someone might have done, or what you might have done to
yourself. It’s an acknowledgement. So you focus to expand with knowledge.
And that’s how we grow as men and as fathers.
The quintessential characteristic of being a man is that a man is forgiving.
A man forgives biologically, physiologically, intellectually. People would tell me
all the time, “You’ve got to forgive your father.” But they were not there. They
don’t live inside of here. So they don’t have the experience, they don’t have the
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hurt, they don’t have the trembling…And so…in order for me to become a
better man, forgiving was the price that I would have to make. (Malcolm)

Tony also shared a similar viewpoint on forgiveness and described the scenario in

which he recognized the need to forgive his father:

I came to the realization that I’m human…that my dad was

human…circumstances happen…things happen! Things I can’t explain happen.
And I came to a realization, too, that I have to forgive him, because I didn’t know
all of his circumstances. I don’t know if he didn’t want me or he did want me.
(Tony)

Tony concluded by affirming, “I’ve forgiven my dad for not being there.” One

participant, Malcolm, discussed the notion of reconciliation. Although this concept was

solely shared by Malcolm, its contextual significance was such that this researcher

considered it highly noteworthy. Malcolm highlighted his rejection of his father and his

strong desire to understand his father and what factors contributed to his decision making

and actions.

I didn’t understand that at the same time I was rejecting my father, and also trying
to understand my father, that that was the nature of reconciliation. How do you
integrate what you reject with what you’re trying to understand? (Malcolm)

Having described the concept of reconciliation, Malcolm further explained what

was necessary for him to experience the emotional closure buried in the harsh experience

of witnessing his mother’s death at the hands of his father.

It wasn’t just about forgiving. It was equally about, for me, reconciliation. It was
about getting to the place where, knowing I could not understand, I could not
come up with a reason, I could not wrap my brain around it, and I had to let my
father physically back into my space to get rid of the fear, the anguish. I had to
find an authentic process…And the only way it was going to be authentic was if I
lived through the rage, the hate, the revenge. That was the only way for me that it
was going to work. (Malcolm)
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Results and Interpretations

The findings from this study illustrate the depth and breadth of the perceptions of

men who experienced fatherlessness and the vast impact of these beliefs on how they

approached fathering sons. Participants’ responses evidenced significant differentiation

among their demonstrated behaviors rooted in their lived experiences as fatherless men.

Senge et al. (2008) asserted that tangible events like those described by the participants in

this study provide considerable insight into the current reality of father absence.

However, excessive focus on such events without an understanding of the key influences

can serve as a distraction and preclude a complete understanding of the phenomenon of

paternal absence. While the aforementioned findings captured the participants’

perspectives on events illustrating the fatherlessness phenomenon through their lens,

deeper analysis and interpretation of the findings provided a richer comprehension of the

patterns, trends, and mental models shaping participants’ experiences. Such analysis was

instrumental in converting the raw data captured from participants into information from

which strong recommendations may be gleaned and from which knowledge can be

developed about the topic of fatherlessness.

Several participants indicated that one of the impacts of their experience of father

absence or paternal apathy was their susceptibility to behaviors perpetuating

fatherlessness to their sons. A comparison of participant descriptors and known fathering

behaviors that mimicked their fatherless experience was rather compelling. Participants

varied in highest level of education achieved. When highest level of education achieved

was compared with the frequency of contact with sons, it was interestingly noted that the

frequency of contact with sons was higher among participants who achieved higher levels
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of education. All participants with a Master’s degree or higher indicated they

interacted with their sons at least multiple times per week. Participants who shared they

had no contact with their sons had not pursued education beyond the high school level.

While this is by no means indicative of a causal relationship between education

level and father-son contact among fatherless men and their sons, it is an interesting

pattern that aligns with the commentary of participants. In particular, Johnny Bee, a

participant who admitted having his first son while in high school, left all care-taking up

to his son’s mother for the first two years of his son’s life—essentially repeating his

father-absent experience. He detailed a “light-switch moment” while pursuing his

college education in which he was overcome by the conviction to be far more active and

present as a father. He shared that key components contributing to this shift in thought

were partially the growth he experienced through his educational advancement but also

the positively influential men he was able to interact with while at a higher education

institution. Johnny Bee captured this when he stated, “I got into college…I really learned

what it’s like to really be a man…I realized the importance of…being there for

somebody.”

Notwithstanding Johnny Bee’s perceptions about factors that reversed his initial

propagation of father-absent behaviors to his sons, there are alternative interpretations

that may be applied to the pattern associated with higher education levels and frequency

of contact with sons. Johnny Bee’s comments were indicative that the observed pattern

between education level and contact with sons were potentially a proxy for the impact of

the environment in which fatherless men were immersed. One key finding in this study

was the belief of participants that the environment in which they lived created a
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desensitization to the issue of father absence and conditioned fathers to leave their

parenting role if and whenever they encountered adversity in their families. The response

to such adversity in the participants’ environments, where the desensitization was mostly

emphasized, was typically to abandon the child and leave rearing to the mother and her

family members. Johnny Bee described this abandonment, stating the following:

That happened to me…and it happened to other people that I knew…and the

people who were in my environment who had no dads were kind of the same
thing. Young parents, big deal…their mom or the grandma will take care of the
child…it’s no big deal.

Environments in which men are socially permitted to forego their paternal

responsibilities can shape the beliefs about father absence among boys in subsequent

generations. According to participants, these environments, while downplaying the role

of fathers, implied that nurturing or caretaking were functions to be left for the “mom or

the grandma”—a woman’s thing, lending credence to the conclusions from the study

conducted by White (2006). White (2006) determined that “when fathering is tied to

traditional definitions of manliness that focus on the proof of virility through the

production of a child, caretaking and nurturing becomes irrelevant” (p. 62). The key

interpretation here is that halting the perpetuation of fatherlessness goes beyond the

willpower of fatherless men and must take into account elements of the environment in

which behaviors associated with father absence or paternal apathy may be cultivated or

nourished.

Another result derived from this study involves the characterization of the

qualitative impact of father absence. While many quantitative studies have attempted to

capture the effect of fatherlessness, few have sought to gather a deep description of the
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lived experiences of the sons who were forsaken. Participants in this study readily

acknowledged that their experience of paternal apathy or paternal absence had

considerable psychological and emotional impact. The effects of their lived experience

continued well into their adulthood – shaping their behaviors, beliefs about fathering, and

perceptions about masculinity. Participants expressed exposure to fatherlessness as a

major source of adversity they must overcome, and they actually continued to spend a

significant amount of time combating its effects.

While enduring physical or emotional father absence, the transition from boyhood

to manhood is complex, painful, and filled with uncertainty. Participants sought

substitutes—people, behaviors, and activities—to replace their distant fathers. The

substitutes were valuable to the participants as alternative sources of guidance for

navigating the challenges encountered during adolescence and early adulthood.

Participants in this study overwhelmingly suggested that despite any accolades applied to

them, substitutes never completely filled the void left by a biological father. Even

stepfathers, who were lauded by some participants for their roles in stepping in to lead a

formerly father-absent household, were deemed to have “fallen short” of meeting their

expectations of fathers. The unmet expectations were manifested through the plethora of

unanswered questions that lingered even into manhood and perceptions of an “incomplete

identity” held by fatherless men.

Fatherless men developed perceptions of masculinity and what it means to be a

man from the various influences to which they were exposed. Overwhelmingly,

participants described their perception of masculinity as entailing fulfillment of

responsibilities, guiding households, being well-rounded, demonstrating persistence,

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being principled, and practicing focus. Masculinity, through the lens of the fatherless

male, was considered to be complex, embracing traditional notions of strength and

problem solving but also including factors like availability, comfort with emotional

expression, and the capability to love unconditionally. While the broad definitions of

masculinity may be interpreted as supportive of Conner and Messerschmidt (2005) and

their concept of the plurality of masculinity, they could also add credibility to the

assertion by Beaty (1995) that father-absent boys are “more ambiguous about

masculinity” (p. 878).

Participants indicated they constantly strived to achieve and prove their

masculinity, a quest that according to Kimmel (2012) “has been one of the formative and

persistent experiences in men’s lives” (p. 3). Although participants were somewhat able

to describe their perceptions of masculinity, almost all of them expressed dejection at not

achieving it. Phrases like “nowhere close,” “I’m far from it,” “I fall short,” “I don’t think

I’ve met the criteria,” and “I just barely comprehended being a man” were used by

participants to describe the beliefs they held about masculinity. Participant statements

align with Mandara et al. (2005), who found that father-absent boys had lower

perceptions of current masculinity than father-present boys and that there was “something

unique about everyday presence” (p. 216) of fathers that influences their sons’

perceptions about masculinity. The expressed disappointment at failing to achieve their

perception of masculinity also confirmed the allusions proffered by Connell and

Messerschmidt (2005) regarding the existence of a masculinity to which many men strive

but only very few achieve—hegemonic masculinity. Additionally, the perceived

inadequacy shared by participants supports previous research suggesting that rigid

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definitions of manhood place pressure on men to conform to hegemonic forms of

masculinity (White, 2006; White & Peretz, 2010; Dowd, 2000; Newton, 2005; Risman,

1998).

Previous research asserted there was a linkage between fatherhood and

masculinity, two socially constructed entities. The linkage, according to White (2006),

was such that changes to the definition of either would impact the definition of the other.

The evidentiary base in this study supports such a linkage between masculinity and

fatherhood. However, participants’ perceptions of the linkage was one in which the

primary purpose of the socially constructed fatherhood was to teach what constitutes

masculinity to developing men.

A synthesis of participant’s views on masculinity, their stated beliefs that fathers

teach or model masculinity, and their experience of father absence leads to a logically

cogent explanation for why fatherless men perceive they have not and potentially cannot

meet their expectations of being a man. To combat the lack of teaching resulting from

father absence, a majority of participants described gaining some of these lessons via

institutions like military and prison. Such statements again aligned with Connell and

Messerschmidt (2005), who point to the institutionalization of the plurality of

masculinities in highly rigid settings like the military and detention facilities.

The data captured in this study supports the interpretation that fatherless men have

significant internal conflict. As shown above, this conflict manifested itself for

participants in the form of questions such as “who am I?” versus “who should I be?”

Another source of internal conflict that may be interpreted from the communicated lived

experiences of fatherless men was the emotional clash between innate behaviors and
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cultivated values. The term innate behaviors, in this context, is not intended to

support or debunk any assertion that individuals are born with certain tendencies.

Instead, it seeks to describe expectations and behaviors learned during the early stages of

experiencing physical and emotional distance from a father. The sample in this study

included men who experienced fatherlessness between the ages of 8 and 16. During that

stage of their lives, innate behaviors related to their father-absent experience were

developed. However, the transition to manhood may provide exposure to different

environments, activities, and people who help to reshape previous behaviors and cultivate

newly acquired elements of the man’s value system. Such cultivated values can be

directly opposed to the innate behaviors previously adopted. Herein lies the

aforementioned conflict.

A frequently referenced example of this conflict emerging from this study was the

notion of how discipline was enacted by men who experienced fatherlessness. In

particular, fathers who experienced corporal punishment, referred to as “beatings” by one

participant, described a commitment to using alternative forms of discipline; that

commitment was cultivated as they matured and witnessed other approaches from

partners and other fathering models. Fatherless men, however, have an intense proclivity

to revert to the innate behaviors of spankings and corporal punishments. One participant

effectively captured this as he commented on how father absence impacted his approach

to discipline:

That’s another one I do struggle with…punishment. I grew up in the world of

spanking. And we live in a world of time…It’s just different now. I don’t really
have a good answer for that one because I struggle with that…My wife comes
from the time-out world. I come from you know, beat your ass world. So we’re
in the middle. (Johnny Bee)
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Another example of the internal conflict between innate behaviors and cultivated

values involves fatherless men’s tolerance of emotional expression among their sons.

Participants cited the lack of an engaged model of how to effectively handle emotional

honesty and expressiveness. A majority talked about their own discomfort with crying

but also their commitment to creating an environment enabling their sons to freely

demonstrate their own feelings. However, in practice, this freedom of expression created

significant turmoil as the internal battle raged between the innate behaviors rooted in the

perception that men do not cry and the cultivated values suggesting men should be

allowed emotional freedom. One participant described this conflict as he explained the

impact of father absence on his reactions to his son crying:

I still struggle with how I should approach my son crying. On the one hand…I
want him to be a strong man. And I don’t want him to show weakness by crying.
But on the other hand, I also want him to feel comfortable enough that he can
express his emotions within the comfort of our family…and sometimes that
involves crying. That is something that I continue to struggle with because I still
do not have a good idea of the balance I should strike in terms of advising him to
be strong, be a man, don’t cry, suck it up…and the other side of the coin where
you gotta express your emotions. (John Q)

The conflict between what this researcher termed as innate behaviors and

cultivated values, particularly as it relates to the expression of emotion, was previously

addressed by White and Peretz (2010). They concluded that the pursuit of hegemonic

masculinity precludes emotional expression and depicts men as those who do not cry or

reveal fear. Research by Collier (1998) also suggested the difficulties of emotional

expression among men were rooted in the pursuit of hegemonic masculinity, which he

stated depicts men as “unemotional, independent, non-nurturing, aggressive, and

dispassionate” (p. 19).

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The findings from this study highlighted differentiated responses to adversity.

Participants demonstrated various coping behaviors to reintegrate after the disruption

resulting from father-absence or paternal apathy. Negative adaptive behaviors included

involvement in crime, violence, gang affiliation, substance abuse, and perpetuated

abandonment of children. On the other hand, some men responded by accepting

increased responsibilities, pursuing education, and involvement in sports. Others

acknowledged that as a result of their fatherless experience, they were obsessed with

achievement and had no sense of when they were going too far as they sought the

affirmation they did not receive from their fathers.

The adaptive behaviors demonstrated by participants provided support for the

resiliency model proposed by Richardson (2002). Some fatherless men demonstrate

resilient integration—behaviors illustrating growth and development of insight as a result

of “an introspective experience in identifying, accessing, and nurturing resilient

qualities.” An example of this was seen with several participants admitting to attending

professional therapy to address the emotional deficiencies they faced as a result of their

lived experience. Fatherless men dealing with the adversity of never having a model of

effective fathering may, as with some participants in this study, abandon their own

offspring when faced with relationship challenges and other external factors impacting

their perceived role as father. Richardson (2002) refers to this as “reintegration with

loss” (p. 312). It includes behaviors demonstrating a loss of motivation or hope. The

drug abuse and destructive behaviors like family violence that were shared by study

participants exemplify what Richardson (2002) referred to as “dysfunctional

reintegration” (p. 312) in the face of adversity.

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The final result extracted from the findings in this study was the concept of

need for emotional closure among men who experienced fatherlessness. A key source of

such closure, according to participants, was a rekindling of a relationship with their

distant biological fathers. The value of this rekindled interaction was never seen as a

means of making up for the years of absence but rather as a means of getting answers to

the numerous questions that remained open about their experience. It was also a

mechanism used by participants to gain insights into their own identity and to better

understand factors that impacted their sex-role development and socialization. The

unanswered questions and the perceived incomplete identity participants described

showcased alignment with the findings of numerous previous studies (Beaty, 1995; Biller

& Bahm, 1971; Hetherington, 1966; Lynn & Sawrey, 1959; McCord et al., 1962). As

stated by participants, gaining such closure led to forgiveness and enabled men who

experienced fatherlessness to move forward with their lives unencumbered. The value of

such closure was aptly expressed by one participant who fervently pursued reconciliation

and rationalization for the simultaneous loss of both his parents when his father murdered

his mother. The closure was the only way, in his words, that he would be able to

ultimately accept full responsibility as a father.

I think that the issue around fatherhood, manhood, and forgiving is one that I
really can’t overstate. I think ultimately accepting responsibility as a father
requires whatever I went through to get to this place. But if somebody were to
ask me for the one ingredient in the recipe of manhood, that ingredient would
have to be forgiving…Comprehensive forgiving is what makes us better men and
better fathers. As I said, it’s not a concession, but it’s an expansion into new
stuff. (Malcolm)
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Summary

The findings in this phenomenological study provided powerful insight into

participants’ common experiences with the phenomenon of fatherlessness. The

viewpoints, beliefs, and perceptions expressed by participants highlighted the

commonalities among their experiences but also showcased how the experience of father

absence uniquely impacted their individual life experiences. The captured findings and

derived interpretations from this study supported a linkage between fatherhood and

masculinity identifying the key role of fathers of sons as one in which they teach their

sons elements of masculinity. What constitutes masculinity, however, is variable and

contextually dependent on factors like culture and time in history, corroborating the ideas

of plurality of masculinities asserted by Connell and Messerschmidt (2005).

The perpetuation of fatherlessness was another fundamental question under

consideration in this research. The discovery of social and societal factors, beyond the

shortcomings of the individual, contributing to the propagation of behaviors associated

with fathers’ physical or emotional distance from sons was important. Indeed, the

environment in which fatherless men reside influences their level of desensitization

toward behaviors promoting father absence and the level at which such behaviors are

socially permitted.
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Chapter 5: Conclusions and Recommendations

Introduction

This study sought to describe the lived experiences of fatherlessness among men

who, as of the time of this study, were fathers of at least one son. For the purpose of this

study, fatherlessness was defined as a combination of physical and emotional distance

between fathers and their sons. The fatherless phenomenon was initially considered to be

the result of a continuum of paternal behaviors ranging from paternal apathy, which

creates emotional distance in the father-son relationship, to paternal abandonment—

combined physical and emotional distance between a father and child. At the core of this

study was the problem statement asserting that the experience of fatherlessness generates

highly differentiated behaviors among men that ultimately influences their ability to

effectively father their sons and thereby halt the generational perpetuation of

fatherlessness.

The study was conducted as a transcendental phenomenology (Moustakas, 1994).

In line with definitions proffered by accomplished phenomenologists, the study focused

on distilling the lived experiences of father absence to a “universal essence” (van Manen,

1990, p. 177) via an approach that “identifies pre-suppositions” (Farber, 1943, p. 58) and

neutralizes their influence. The population for this study comprised of men who

experienced fatherlessness for five or more years between the ages of 8 and 16 years old.

There were no restrictions on participants’ eligibility based on race, ethnicity, or

socioeconomic status. The study included a grand total of 36 participants who were

involved in individual interviews and two focus groups.

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Reliability was a primary area of emphasis during the conduct of this study.

They were both achieved through strict procedural adherence to the phenomenological

processes of epoche, phenomenological reduction, and imaginative variation and through

triangulation of data gathered via different methods. Thorough data analysis leveraged

the data management and efficiency multiplying effects of Dedoose—a qualitative data

analysis software tool.

The three research questions for which answers were sought during this study

were as follows:

1. What does the experience of transitioning from boyhood to manhood in a

father-absent household mean for males?

2. How do men who experienced fatherlessness describe the intersection

between masculinity and fatherhood?

3. How do men describe the relationships between their history of fatherlessness

and their attempts to father their own sons?

The derivation of answers to these questions was built on a conceptual framework

that viewed the phenomenon of fatherlessness through the lens of paternal involvement

and essentialism, the social construction of masculinity, and resilience theory. Given this

conceptual framework and the findings gathered during the conduct of this study, there

are several conclusions the researcher can draw. These conclusions provide compelling

answers to the research questions posed in this study.

Descriptions of the impacts of fatherlessness have primarily been documented in

terms of quantitative factors. Prior research associated quantitative measures like drop-

out rates, rates of early exposure to sexual activity, and lower academic grades with the
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absence or presence of a father in the household. This study captured the qualitative

impact of fatherlessness on men and, through their stories, provided deep insight into the

thoughts, feelings, beliefs, and perceptions of individuals who actually experience this

phenomenon. While quantitative—particularly correlational—studies have significant

limitations on establishing causality among variables, the conclusions drawn from this

study originate directly from those who openly attribute several differentiated behaviors

to their experience of paternal absence.

Conclusions

Participants in this study indicated the experience of fatherlessness during key

developmental years in a boy’s life can have far-reaching repercussions well into their

adulthood. The conclusions described in this section culminate a thorough research

process in which the lived experiences of fatherless fathers were explored in depth. Each

conclusion that emerged was categorized in terms of its applicability to the research

questions initially posed by this study. Once synthesized, they represent a comprehensive

response to the research questions and a thorough exploration of the problem statement.

What does the experience of transitioning from boyhood to manhood in a father-

absent household mean for males?

From the findings in this study, it was apparent there were several meanings men

attributed to their experience of father absence. Participants in this study indicated the

absence of a father in the household during their transition from boyhood to manhood

meant: the lack of a male model, a perceived lack of male availability and support,

feelings of inadequacy, lack of paternal affirmation, and an on-going quest to find father-

substitutes.
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Lack of a model. One of the key findings from this study was the viewpoint

that the primary role of fathers is that of teacher and model. Predominantly, participants

indicated that fathers uniquely teach a range of life skills. One such life skill includes

lessons on effective behaviors by men in the familial setting and in the broader society.

Overwhelmingly, participants believed the essence of becoming a man can only be

effectively and credibly passed on by someone who has also endured this transition.

Fathers also model personal responsibility and teach their sons, through example, what it

looks like when men honor their responsibilities.

Given participants’ perceptions about the role of a father as a teacher and model,

it is conceivable that men from fatherless households may perceive themselves as lacking

an effective model of how to navigate the arduous journey from boyhood to manhood. In

several cases, fatherless boys may live in households with dual-role mothers—single

mothers who take on the perceived roles of both father and mother. While some gender

theorists may express some skepticism about the classification of roles by gender, it was

evident in this study that participants believed there were some lessons not suitably

taught by a mother, regardless of her competence. In fact, as participants described their

experiences as adolescent boys progressing toward manhood in father-absent households,

they suggested that throughout their development, there was increasing cynicism about

the value of some teachings originating from their mothers. From their lived experience,

they lacked an effective male model—a crucial element in their emotional, cognitive, and

social development.

Feelings of inadequacy. A home that was void of a father figure or had an

emotionally distant father meant repeated episodes in which fathers missed key
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milestones in the lives of their sons. The absence of a father was prominent at

athletic events, as well as other celebratory moments like graduations. Participants in the

study commented on their athletic prowess and the significant successes they achieved in

the field of sport. However, they constantly alluded to the fact that “when they turned to

the stands,” there was someone missing—their father.

According to participants, the inherent value of highly laudable performances, by

several standards, was diminished as a result of their fathers’ failure to attend.

Continually repeated bouts of high expectations and disappointment were extremely

painful, affecting their performance and ultimately leading to what participants described

as an emotional hardening. The perceptions that their accomplishments were not worthy

enough to encourage their fathers to share in them contributed to the erosion of the self-

confidence and self-esteem of boys transitioning to men in a fatherless household.

The feelings of inadequacy originating in father absence were exacerbated by

other factors. Specifically, the increasing body of questions about self-worth plagued the

psyche of the boys developing into young men. Citing their inability to proudly state the

simple phrase “my dad is at home,” the continuous self-questioning planted the seeds for

a lifetime of doubt and insecurity about self-worth. The metaphorical seeds of the “am I

not good enough” tree were planted and further fertilized with every additional

disappointment that took place. Additionally, having to witness other two-parent families

only served to further the questioning, as fatherless boys tried to put the pieces of their

lives together. To continue the metaphor, the “am I not good enough” tree continued to

grow well into adulthood and was only truly uprooted later in life when participants

actively pursued emotional closure.

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Lack of paternal affirmation. Men from father-absent homes or in

households with significant emotional distance in the father-son relationship seldom

received affirmations of their worth from the source where they most desired it—their

fathers. The common perception among participants in the study was that their peers in

two-parent homes were frequently reminded of their value and were consistently

reminded that they were loved by their fathers. Consequences of seldom hearing “well

done” or “I love you” from a proud father were numerous.

Firstly, the lack of guidance coupled with lack of affirmation fed the inadequacy

previously described. As a result, it contributed to the downward pressure already

exerted on the self-perceptions held by fatherless boys. A second impact of the lack of

affirmation was the belief among some participants that they had no way of gauging

when they were doing well. The result of this inability to “pace oneself,” as one

participant described, ultimately developed into an unhealthy obsession with achievement

lasting well into their adulthood. The rationale behind this, as explained by participants,

was rooted in their lifelong pursuit of a father’s approval—even if the father-son

relationship was still strained.

Continuous quest for substitutes. The absence of a father in the household

creates a void. Young men growing up in a father-absent household search for

substitutes they perceive will fill that void. The substitutes sought may be considered as

positive additions to the lives of fatherless boys or they may be perceived as factors

negatively impacting their lives. Regardless, the boys transitioning to young men

consider these substitutes as sources with the potential to fulfill a need left unmet by

paternal absence.
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One of the substitutes participants identified was other people—a strong

mother, a stepfather, extended family members, and other male models. As they

progressed into manhood, spouses and adult partners were also considered as substitutes

who met some aspect of fathering the developing man missed. Primarily, young men

turn to other people to provide the guidance, support, and aforementioned affirmation

they perceive ought to come from their fathers.

As indicated in this study, boys transitioning to manhood also turn to various

institutions as a replacement for the presence of a father and the significant aspects of a

healthy father-son interaction they missed. One institution frequently identified by

participants in this study was the military. The military provided the discipline,

relationships, structure, exposure, and life skills crucial for preparing young men for

responsible manhood. As boys transition, they also derive value from involvement in

other societal institutions such as church, organized sports, and even prison and gangs all

offered some benefits that were, in the eyes of the unfathered boy, inaccessible.

Commonly cited benefits included attention, time, guidance, and perceived interest in

one’s development.

Despite the value of substitutes and their potential to make significant

contributions to the lives of fatherless boys transitioning from boyhood to manhood, the

common perception was that they never completely filled the void. The unanswered

questions about fatherhood and the experience of father absence persist. The quest for

substitute-fathers continues as these fatherless boys age, enter into manhood, and gain

more experiences while seeking out elements that shape self-perceptions and assist with

identity completion.
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How do men who experienced fatherlessness describe the intersection between

masculinity and fatherhood?

Masculinity and fatherhood are both socially defined constructs embodying the

perceptions, beliefs, and norms that guide the behaviors, expectations, and value system

of men and fathers, respectively. This study confirmed a perceived linkage between

these two entities but also provided some deeper insight into the characterization of this

association. Participants’ perceptions about the intersection between masculinity and

fatherhood were illustrated through their descriptions of the evolution of male leadership,

the emergence of the pro-feminist man, and how fathers shape masculinity.

Evolution of male leadership. Fundamentally, both masculinity and fatherhood

are complex concepts, the construction of which is responsive to both social and

historical considerations. In this study, participants described both as multifaceted but

cited some areas of overlap perceived as significant. Common themes included the

notions of responsibility, leadership, and availability. Interestingly, perceptions of

masculinity as it relates to responsibility go well beyond the household or simply

fulfilling the traditionally perceived role of provider or protector. Responsibility is

viewed in a broader context as men and fathers are now perceived to have a greater duty

to other men and to their communities. With broadened social responsibilities, men and

fathers are expected to operate more frequently in the capacity of coaches and mentors

within their family and in the broader community.

The viewpoint that men and fathers partner with women and mothers to

effectively guide the household was another conclusion derived from the findings in this

study. While participants referred to traditional expectations of fathers and masculinity

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as it relates to “setting the tone” in the household, there were indications of the

expectation that men partner and co-lead with women in setting the direction within

families and in society in general.

Emergence of the pro-feminist man. Another key intersection between

masculinity and fatherhood emerging from this study was the need for men and fathers to

be comfortable with expression of emotion and tolerant of emotional expressiveness in

others. Such a need indicates a potential trend in which the social construction of

fatherhood and masculinity embraces what White and Peretz (2010) referred to as pro-

feminist qualities. Men and fathers are perceived as increasingly comfortable with being

nurturing, compassionate, and gentle.

Traditional constructions of masculinity and fatherhood rejected expressions of

vulnerability or softness. In traditional masculinities, tolerance of emotional expression –

particularly among sons – was discouraged. However, participants in this study

expressed that they experienced an internal conflict when faced with scenarios in which

they had to deal with their sons’ expressiveness—especially as it related to crying. The

conflict centered on the tug they felt between the construction of masculinity prominent

when they were growing up—never show vulnerability—versus the pro-feminist

elements of contemporary masculinity—be a nurturer, encourage emotional expression.

The conflict was evidenced throughout the study as a majority of participants were

adamant about their refusal to allow others see them cry, while stating they teach their

sons about the acceptability of expressing one’s feelings without reprisal. Their

discomfort once emotional expression manifested itself as crying was also further proof

of the conflict.
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Fathers shape perceptions of masculinity. As mentioned above,

masculinity is a socially constructed phenomenon built on the perceptions, beliefs, and

norms guiding the behaviors, expectations, and values of men. A major conclusion from

this study emerged from participants’ assertion that the main role a father plays in the

lives of his sons is that of teacher and model. A father operating in the capacity of guide

and teacher was seemingly most important to participants— even superseding the

traditional concepts of “father as provider” and “father as protector” of the household.

The importance placed on fathers being a model for their sons was apparent. Among the

numerous life skills and behaviors fathers teach are traits of responsibility, resiliency,

tenacity, honesty, self-awareness, and self-confidence. Additionally, fathers are crucial

in passing on lessons on navigating life in a family setting and on effectively integrating

into society as a responsible citizen.

Participants encapsulated all the ways in which they perceived fathers as teachers

by asserting that fathers provide guidance on what it means to be a man to their sons.

Such guidance is by no means trivial. It entails the physical considerations that must be

taught about being male, as well as socially defined considerations about being

masculine. The former may be exemplified through lessons dealing with physical traits

of men such as how to shave or how to deal with the physical aspects of puberty. In

acknowledgement of the plurality and diversity of masculinities, however, the latter

considerations are far more complex. The value of a father to the development of their

sons, as communicated by those who endured father absence, is to teach about being a

man by using his own experiences. Moreover, a father is most effective when he

embraces the concept of multiple masculinities in his instruction to his sons.

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The researcher acknowledges the sensitivity of this conclusion given the

scrutiny placed on issues of gender in contemporary research. Taking into account that

masculinity is a socially constructed entity, the researcher acknowledges there are several

sources beyond the teachings of a father that may influence those perceptions, beliefs,

and norms that in turn guide the behaviors, expectations, and values demonstrated by

their sons. Nevertheless, the findings from this study indicated that fatherless men

perceived that men and their experiences were a more influential and credible source

from which they were willing to emulate behaviors and adopt values.

How do men describe the relationships between their history of fatherlessness and
their attempts to father their own sons?

Men who experienced fatherlessness feel its emotional effects well into

adulthood. Numerous unanswered questions persist. As these men become fathers

themselves, the impact of their exposure to father absence is magnified as they are thrust

into a relationship, albeit as the father, that for them bore a history of pain and

disappointment. The conclusions about the relationship between a history of

fatherlessness and attempts at fathering boys that emerged from this study included: the

disadvantages of the fatherless experience, the perceptions of self-worth among men who

were fatherless, the susceptibility to repeating negative behaviors, the resolve to be

different, and the conflict of learned behaviors.

Fatherlessness men are at a disadvantage. Participants in this study

overwhelmingly believed their history of fatherlessness placed them in a disadvantageous

position as it relates to their ability to effectively father their sons. The absence of a

father – whether physically, emotionally, or both – constituted a lack of a model for how
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to handle the complexities of fatherhood on a daily basis. The concept of a daily

model provides access to learning opportunities that offer insight into what to do in

certain scenarios as a father. Of equal importance is the exposure to fathers’ negative

behaviors and associated outcomes – conclusion aligned with the claims of Renshaw

(2005), who emphasized that the father-son bond was a conduit for the passage of

teachings about the father role and that modeling how to father requires almost daily

interaction and close observation.

There are several areas in which the disadvantage expressed by participants in this

study was more emphasized. One key area alluded to in the study centers on the effective

administration of discipline or punishment. Void of a model, men who experienced

fatherlessness described not having a good gauge on appropriate enforcement of

discipline. Other areas in which a disadvantage was perceived included emotional

transparency, tolerance of emotional expression in sons, and how to navigate adult

romantic relationships. The latter factor was rooted in perceptions among participants

that they were never privy to a demonstration of positive behaviors contributing to

longevity in an adult romantic relationship.

Fatherlessness men question their worthiness. Abandonment by a father or

emotional distance in the father-son relationship took a toll on perceptions of self-worth

among participants. Fatherless boys are continually confronted with questions regarding

why their fathers chose to leave and what was wrong with them that made them not worth

it. The knowledge that their fathers made a conscious decision to leave their sons or did

not see it as valuable to have a close emotional tie to their sons was haunting and a source
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of significant emotional pain. Such pain was common among participants and

formed the foundation upon which several fears about fathering were established.

Describing the biggest fears held upon becoming fathers, participants in this study

overwhelmingly suggested they were concerned they were not good enough to be a

father. The viewpoint that they never had a model is applicable here as well.

Nevertheless, a key consideration was the fact that fatherless men seldom had the positive

affirmations empowering them to achieve whatever they set out to achieve. On the

contrary, some even experienced the emotional abuse at the hands of apathetic fathers

who consistently reinforced that they were incompetent and worthless.

Proclivity to repeat the cycle but driven to be different. The participants in

this study expressed a deep concern that they were susceptible to behaviors propagating

the phenomenon of fatherlessness onto their sons. They outlined the belief that their lack

of exposure to active and involved fathering led to outcomes of emotional turmoil

centered on feelings of emptiness, inadequacy, embarrassment, insecurity, and

heightened anxiety. Additionally, they expressed the periodic sadness associated with

feeling discarded, unwanted, and unloved. Their lived experiences, coupled with the

emotional turmoil, contributed to some negative perceptions about fatherhood. For some,

this manifested itself in an early rejection of becoming a father for fear they would inflict

the same pain they endured on their sons.

Whether they described a lived experience in which there was no father present or

the present father demonstrated paternal apathy, participants shared some factors that

increased the chances they would wound their sons in the same manner they perceived

they were wounded. While several of these factors were rooted in their individual
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experience, participants also cited living in environments that bolstered the tendency

for men in general to perpetuate behaviors leading to fatherlessness and its associated

outcomes. Such environments condoned these behaviors as the norm and contributed to

desensitization toward the seriousness of the fatherlessness phenomenon. A common

belief among participants was that in such environments, there was a deficiency in the

value placed on paternal resiliency as it related to dealing with family issues. Essentially,

men were conditioned to leave when they perceived any difficulty with familial

relationships.

An environment that socially permitted fatherlessness, along with the negative

perceptions of fatherhood from their lived experiences, resulted in participants

identifying their perpetuation of fatherlessness as one of their utmost concerns about

becoming a father. Recognizing their susceptibility fuelled the fear but also resulted in

an intense resolve among participants to create a different reality for their sons. With

views such as “never wanting to be like my father” or “my son must tell a different story”

being primary motivators, the men in this study overwhelmingly cited their drive to be

different. Interestingly, even those participants who had already abandoned one or more

of their sons shared that they had an intense desire to be a present and active father but

succumbed to the pressures of an environment and to the model of fathering they

experienced. They expressed remorse and pain at the thought of their sons having similar

experiences to theirs.

Conflict of learned behaviors. The missing model is a pervasive concept

throughout this study. This study uncovered the perception that the primary role of

fathers in the father-son interaction is that of teacher and model of positive male
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citizenship. Therefore, it is easy to understand how the experience of fatherlessness

can create a void in which negative teachings and behaviors can take root. Participants

mentioned that the father-substitutes they pursued and invariably selected were not

always upstanding and were not always regarded as models of wholesome decision

making. Consequently, participants acknowledged having a poor foundation for being a

man and being misguided about several facets of fatherhood – resulting in their

development of a body of perceptions, beliefs, and actions that shaped their identity as

men and fathers. It encapsulated their approaches to discipline, displays of emotion, and

willingness to demonstrate nurturing behaviors.

As some participants continued in their development and progressed toward

manhood, they described having increased exposure to alternative approaches to

fathering and acceptable behaviors that conflicted with those they had previously

embraced. Their desire to be different for their sons drove their pseudo-acceptance of

these new approaches.

An interesting conclusion emerged from participants’ description of the impact of

gaining new insights and adding to the value system informing their approaches to

fathering. They specified that their natural response in situations with their sons and

family were often rooted in the misguided behaviors initially learned. This natural

response, they admitted, was not always the healthiest response. A common example

cited by participants was their response when faced with the scenario of an emotionally

shaken son crying. They universally indicated that although their upbringing taught that

“boys are tough” and “boys don’t cry,” they had acquired sensitivity toward their sons’

emotional freedom. Hence, their natural response in such a scenario was one of quickly
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and harshly questioning why their son was crying and recommending that it be

stopped right away. However, if they paused and reflected on their reshaped value

system, their response was more measured and focused on nurturing their sons’ ability to

describe emotions.

Participants cited several other examples in which there was a conflict between

the learned values they embraced in the early stages of their fatherless experience and

those they acquired as matured and gained more exposure. They viewed this conflict as

highly important as it significantly influenced their behaviors toward their sons. Patience

and measured responses were commonly cited as mechanisms toward ensuring the

appropriate behaviors were displayed.

Additional Conclusions

The contributions of participants in this study yielded some conclusions that went

beyond delivering answers to the research questions posed. These conclusions are

equally valuable in understanding the issue of fatherlessness and how men who

experienced father-absence describe its impact on how they father sons. Other emergent

conclusions captured participants’ experiences with familial resiliency and the issue of

emotional closure.

Familial adversity and capacity for paternal resiliency. Participants described

their experience of fatherlessness as one that limited their exposure to examples of

paternal resiliency in a family setting. Invariably, families encounter adversity. How

they reintegrate after the adversity essentially defines the longevity and health of the

family unit. Participants in this study repeatedly indicated that their fathers who

abandoned them or were apathetic toward them were hasty and even selfish in how they
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dealt with familial adversity. Some participants expressed they could never

comprehend how the complexities of the adult relationship between a father and mother

could lead to a father’s decision to abandon his son and forego his responsibility to be a

guide.

Those participants who were active fathers committed to providing a different

experience for their sons and described taking an alternative approach to adversity in the

household. They were intent on incorporating resilient reintegration (Richardson, 2002)

into how they handled the familial adversity resulting from household conflict as well as

the internal conflict originating from their experience of father absence. Despite

expressed trepidation about what this required, an overwhelming majority of participants

described seeking professional counseling as a means of developing their capacity to

resiliently respond to adversity within the household and, in so doing, realize their

resolve to create a different reality for their sons.

Emotional closure. A commonly expressed desire among participants in this

study was for the achievement of emotional closure. They cited an emotional

rollercoaster throughout adolescence and well into manhood that was the outcome of not

having an engaged father actively participating in their lives. Such emotional turmoil

was a prolonged impact of the fatherless experience for which they wanted to achieve

closure. They also expressed the need to “complete their identity,” a phrase participants

used to indicate their desire to witness first hand where some of their physical traits and

behavioral tendencies originated.

For participants, this meant rekindling a relationship with their fathers, if possible.

In several cases, it meant meeting an individual for the first time or after multiple decades
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of no interaction. Those who were able to accomplish this described the efficacy of

the experience, indicating that, for them, it put to rest the churning emotions that had

affected them throughout their lives. They used the rekindled relationship to ask the

questions that were, for a long time, unanswered. Interestingly, participants expressed

initial hesitance at allowing the fathers who caused them such pain to meet their

grandchildren but ultimately saw the re-introduction of father to son and the introduction

of father to grandson as a means of destroying the cycle of fatherlessness affecting their

family for decades.

Recommendations

Given the findings of this study and the pervasiveness of fatherlessness in

American society, there are several steps this researcher believes will further elucidate

this issue and provide some redress to its contributing factors. The insight about the lived

experiences of men who faced father absence and paternal apathy during their formative

years, and the increased understanding of how the fatherless experience impacts their

parenting, scratches the surface of a larger system of interrelated phenomena. The

perpetuation of fatherlessness from generation to generation has a far-reaching impact

touching every aspect of society. Education, social services, criminal justice, and

healthcare are a few examples of subsystems that are stakeholders directly or indirectly

affected by issues related to fatherhood. To forge further ahead in curbing the effects of

fatherlessness, the following recommendations are suggested.

Training Programs for School Districts, Counselors, and Administrators

Counselors and administrators are key sources of influence in the education

sector. They are charged with understanding the student population and determining
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mechanisms for improving the efficacy of information delivery in the school system.

With this responsibility, it is imperative counselors and administrators are sufficiently

equipped with the information and tools to effectively work with all students, regardless

of demographic differentiators. The challenges students face that ultimately affect

academic performance are numerous. Also, factors contributing to students’ difficulty

with social adaptation in school are far reaching. The more knowledge officials in

education have about the multiplicity of indicators, causes, and outcomes associated with

problems students face, the better.

Fatherlessness is one of the phenomena of which counselors and administrators

must be aware. The fact that almost one in three children in the United States reside in

households without their biological father indicates there is a significant probability that

school officials will encounter individuals who share the experiences of the participants

in this study. Consequently, it is recommended that school officials are effectively

trained to identify and address some of the negative externalities resulting from the

fatherless experience. Acknowledgement and recognition of the qualitative impacts of

fatherlessness should be central elements of the recommended training curriculum. Other

key segments may include mechanisms for identifying the needs of fatherless boys and

suggested approaches for adequately supporting them.

Accessible Resources for Fatherless Men

According to the findings uncovered in this study, men who experience

fatherlessness lacked a model of effective fathering approaches. The lack of a model

impacted their confidence as they entered into fatherhood and continued to resurface as

they encountered new parenting scenarios. Participants in this study perceived that
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access to resources assisting with parenting and overall life skills are hard to find and

primarily accessible only after being court-ordered. They also overwhelmingly expressed

that the opportunity to verbalize their experience in a safe environment was helpful to

them.

The recommendation surfacing as a result of the perceived lack of resources for

fatherless men is the formation of a network of support services easily accessible via

various media. Subscribers to this learning network will benefit from and deliver

services to other members. Services should include easy access to a core of coaches who

understand the fatherless experience and are available to listen and offer on-demand

assistance to other members of the network. Other services will include access to

publications, webinars, seminars, and electronic feeds with pertinent information about

the fatherless experience and the skills necessary to enable resilient reintegration and

reduce the propensity that the cycle of father absence or paternal apathy is continued.

By leveraging the power of technology and the efficiency of social networks,

accessibility to such a body of resources would be enhanced. Fatherless men can

individually and collectively benefit from the power and therapeutic effect of simply

sharing their experiences among each other. Consequently, it is recommended that

subscribed members of the proposed network should be able to interact with individuals

from various backgrounds who share the common experience of fatherlessness. Such a

recommendation attempts to address the paucity of social services specifically targeted at

understanding the plight of the fatherless man; recognizing the qualitative nature of his

experience; and allowing for open, non-judgmental communication about his journey.
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Enable Resilient Reintegration in Juvenile Justice System

The participants in this study outlined the cognitive and emotional responses to

father absence they experienced. They also described the constant pursuit of substitutes

to fulfill the void left by a physically or emotionally distant father. On some occasions,

the emotional responses and poor choices of substitutes—e.g., gangs, poor models—led

to the unfortunate experience of detention in the juvenile justice system or incarceration

in the criminal justice system. While immersed in these environments, participants

outlined their exposure to various factors leading to further misdirection, increasing their

potential for recidivism. One participant even shared that he adopted a form of

masculinity from his prison experience—the “outlaw” masculinity—a form of

masculinity held and practiced by a man who intentionally breaks the rules but lives by a

strict code of conduct in doing so.

As a result, this researcher recommends that an element of the juvenile justice

system needs to be attentive to the qualitative impacts of fatherlessness among its

population, meaning that key stakeholders in the juvenile justice system—e.g., judges,

counselors, probation officers, and teachers—should be educated about the phenomenon

of fatherlessness and how boys may respond to the experience. The intent of this

recommendation is to ensure the appropriate support and services are made available to

this population and that all stakeholders responsible for counseling or teaching are readily

equipped to help individuals cope with all the challenges they encounter, some of which

may be associated with their fatherless experience.

It is this researcher’s belief that a greater awareness of the thoughts, feelings,

perceptions, and beliefs held by boys experiencing fatherlessness will enable system
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stakeholders to deliver support services more effectively, providing boys with

opportunities to verbalize the intricate details about their experience and share how it

contributes to their current behaviors. Adolescent boys in the midst of the fatherless

experience lack direction—a common complaint among participants in this study about

their adolescent experience. Their placement in the juvenile justice system may be a

manifestation of their misdirection. Stakeholders who, through adequate training, can

relate to fatherless boys’ experiences are better prepared to provide redirection and enable

them to resiliently reintegrate from the adversity they encounter.

Increased Efficacy of Mentorship Efforts

Although findings from this study suggested that mentorship does not completely

fill the emotional void left by an absent father, participants still indicated there is

tremendous value in positive role models. Participants described lessons learned from

positive father-substitutes as invaluable, despite their contention that they would have

preferred many of those lessons to have originated with a present and active father.

There are several organizations nationwide that have developed mentorship programs

targeted at adolescent boys who belong to what are deemed underserved populations or

communities. Often, the term underserved connotes that the targeted group has

significant exposure to risk factors and experiences a lack of access to certain

resources—e.g., economic resources, educational resources.

Rooted in the findings of this study, this researcher asserts that the qualitative

impact of fatherlessness undoubtedly creates significant exposure to risk factors. The

lack of a model, the pursuit of substitutes, the need for direction, and the tendency to be

emotionally closed off creates the perfect storm of risk factors within fatherless boys that
 209

can lead to their detriment. As a consequence, mentorship programs across the nation

should encompass elements that prepare both mentors and mentees to directly confront

the fatherless experience. Among other things, this will lead to a better understanding

among mentees of how their perceptions and beliefs about masculinity and fatherhood

were shaped.

Enable Rekindled Father-Son Relationships

In this study, the need for emotional closure stood out as an important part of the

fatherless journey. A majority of participants shared that their desire for closure and

identity completion led them to engage in efforts to rekindle a relationship with their

fathers. They used this relationship to gain answers to previously unanswered questions

about their experience and about their biological fathers. They sought to satisfy their

thirst for information on the similarities and differences, physical and otherwise, existing

between them and their fathers. They also participated in rekindling these father-son

bonds as a means of introducing previously distant fathers to their grandsons, positioning

themselves as the connection between two generations.

Since this was regarded as highly important among participants, it behooves this

researcher to recommend programs aimed at fostering the rebuilding of these

relationships. As of the compilation of this study, there were only a few examples of

such programs spread across the nation. The intent of these programs would be, where

possible, to locate and reconnect estranged fathers and sons to facilitate the initial

reconnection and harness the potential for further interactions. The desired outcome

would be to enable men who experienced fatherlessness to gain the emotional closure
 210

that participants in this study indicated was highly important to their efforts to break

the cycle of fatherlessness.

Raised Awareness of Qualitative Impact of Fatherlessness

A final practical recommendation emerging from this study centers on the

fundamental task of raising awareness. This researcher sees absolute value in a

nationwide campaign aimed at bringing the issue of fatherlessness to the forefront of

discussions of social issues with which this nation is challenged. Such a recommendation

could potentially manifest itself through a series of nationwide workshops, publications,

and televised discussions that orient the general population to the depth and breadth of

the fatherless experience. The more awareness generated—particularly about the

qualitative affects—the greater chance for recognition of fatherlessness as a primary issue

and widespread efforts at reducing its perpetuation.

Additional Research

This study opens the door for follow-up research on various issues and related

phenomena. Firstly, the fatherless household is only one of many potentially

dysfunctional family structures. Hence, there are opportunities for further exploration

into the phenomenon of motherlessness and how it impacts child development.

Moreover, this study focused only on the effect fatherlessness has on a son. There are

certainly ways in which fatherlessness impacts daughters as well. Consequently, there is

an opportunity to build on this research by investigation of the ways in which

fatherlessness impacts girls and how motherlessness may impact both boys and girls.

An important consideration taken into account as this study’s findings were

synthesized was the concept of essentialism as it relates to fatherhood. Supporters of

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essentialism claim that fatherlessness is at the root of threats to societal sustainability.

As noted earlier, this viewpoint was highly criticized by contemporary researchers with

the main area of contention centering on whether father presence or absence can account

for the numerous negative outcomes principally attributed to physical and emotional

paternal absence. There are admittedly several phenomena actively influencing the

family dynamic in father-absent households. It is, therefore, imperative that future

research is conducted to enable a more systematic isolation of the impacts of

fatherlessness from the effects of other social or familial dynamics. In spite of the

projected value of such additional research, it is imperative the value of participants’

attributions, as it relates to their lived experiences and perceptions about the

fatherlessness phenomenon, is considered and regarded as highly important in the

derivation of further conclusions.

With the burgeoning research on gender-related issues, and increasing societal

attention on alternative household structures, there are opportunities for studies into the

phenomenon of households with same-sex couples and the effects, if any, on the

identities of children reared in these households. The increasing popularity of such same-

sex households—particularly dual female family structures—calls the essentialist

viewpoint into question. As a result, further exploration of the essentialist concept is

required. This researcher also asserts that there is significant opportunity for even deeper

analysis of perceptions of masculinity among sons and femininity among girls given

these various household structures to be considered.

One limitation of this study was the fact that there was no consideration of race or

socioeconomic status among participants selected to participate. Further exploration into

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how the introduction of these considerations may alter the results derived in this study

would be fascinating and serve as a valuable addition to the body of knowledge about

fatherhood and masculinity. Another limitation of this study centered on the working

definition employed for the term “fatherlessness.” For this study, fatherlessness resulted

from a continuum of paternal behaviors ranging from paternal apathy to paternal

abandonment. Refinement of the findings in this study would be achieved if future

research were able to isolate the impact of paternal apathy—a present but disengaged

father—from the impact of no father present at all.

Further research that takes into consideration what this researcher calls “the path

to fatherlessness” would also serve to further enhance the findings in this study.

Participants in this study became fatherless via apathy, abandonment, and even death of

their fathers. Removing the assumption that the same level of traumatization may be

applied to all paths to fatherlessness may reveal some rather interesting findings that

build on those established in this study.

Finally, prior to this study, fatherlessness was viewed, for the most part through a

quantitative lens. This study illustrates that the qualitative experiences of fatherless boys,

and ultimately fatherless men, really adds an element of detail that could be lost in

quantitative approaches to analyzing these issues. Certainly, there is significant value in

the conduct of quantitative assessments of this phenomenon but this researcher asserts

that the depth afforded from a parallel qualitative inquiry should not be foregone.

Summary

Blankenhorn (1995) contributed some rather contentious statements on the issue

of fatherlessness. His statements included a prediction that American society would

 213

someday be divided along the lines of patrimony—those who had the daily presence

of a father and those who did not. Such statements, as asserted by numerous scholars,

were narrow, failing to account for the emotional presence of fathers. Nevertheless, it

captured the notion of the emergence of patrimonial haves and have-nots in society, with

the latter having significant disadvantages in terms of psychological, social, cognitive,

and emotional readiness. This study took into account the entire spectrum of physical

and emotional distance in the father-son interaction. Undoubtedly, participants

overwhelmingly communicated the discomfort they endured as a patrimonial have-not.

The findings and conclusions derived in this study highlighted the perceptions and

beliefs that men who experienced fatherlessness hold about masculinity and fatherhood

and how their lived experiences affected how they fathered their sons. It was evident

from this research that fathers who did not have the fortune of a present and active father

perceived that they were at a constant emotional disadvantage—one they struggled daily

to overcome with limited success but were intent on preventing their sons from

experiencing.
 214

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Appendix A: Individual Interview Protocol

Date/Time: ______________________
Location: _______________________
Interviewee: _____________________
Interviewee Alias: ________________

Research Questions

 What does the experience of transitioning from boyhood to manhood in a father-

absent household mean for males?
 What is the essence of the meaning of the intersection between masculinity and
fatherhood among men who experienced fatherlessness?
 What is the meaning of the lived experiences, perceptions, and attitudes of
unfathered men to their ability to model good fathering and responsible male
citizenship to their sons?

Interview Protocol:

1. Describe in general what it meant to grow up fatherless?

2. At what age did your exposure to fatherlessness begin?
3. Describe when it became significant to you that your father was not present?
4. Describe the biggest disadvantages of not having an active father around?
5. At times during your life, when you thought about your father not being around, what
were the feelings or emotions that arose?
6. Describe the characteristics and behaviors that in your opinion make a man a man?
7. From where did you gather your knowledge about what it meant to be a man?
8. Did you have friends who had their fathers around? Describe what feelings came to
mind as you witnessed your peers who had active fathers in their lives.
9. Think back to the moment you found out that you were going to be a father. Can you
describe the immediate emotions that you experienced when you heard the news?
10. Describe the thoughts you had when you first envisioned yourself as a father?
11. What were your biggest areas of concern or fears about becoming a father?
12. What were the things you looked forward to the most about becoming a father?
13. Describe the characteristics and behaviors that in your opinion make a great father?
14. Describe the characteristics that you envisioned when you thought about the kind of
father you wanted to become.
15. How would you describe the experience of fathering boys?
16. How would you describe your level of involvement with your sons over time?
17. What behaviors, if any, do you consider to be totally unacceptable from your sons?
18. How would you describe your approach to discipline with your children?
 227

19. Describe the key lessons that you imparted or intend to impart into your son(s)
about what it means to be a man?
20. Describe the key lessons that you imparted or intend to impart into your son(s) about
what it means to be a father?
21. Describe how your experiences with being fatherless impacted the following life
experiences:
a. Confidence in making parenting decisions
b. Your ability to form meaningful bonds with other adults
c. Your decision making with respect to education and career
d. Other lifestyle choices
22. Describe what steps you have taken to deal with the challenges you have faced as a
result of not having that biological father figure around.
 228

Appendix B: Consent to Take Part in a Research Study

1. Title of research study

Emerging from the Daddy Issue: A Phenomenological Study of the Impact of the Lived
Experiences of Men Who Experienced Fatherlessness on Their Approach to Fathering
Sons

2. Researcher: David R. Inniss

3. Why you are being invited to take part in a research study
We invite you to take part in a research study because you are a father of son(s)

and you experienced fatherlessness for five (5) or more years between the ages of 8 and

16.

4. What you should know about a research study

 Someone will explain this research study to you.
 Whether or not you take part is up to you.
 You can choose not to take part.
 You can agree to take part now and later change your mind.
 Whatever you decide it will not be held against you.
 Feel free to ask all the questions you want before you decide.

5. Who can you talk to?

If you have questions, concerns, or complaints, or think the research has hurt you,

talk to the research team at Dr. Ed Bureau, web28@[Link].

This research has been reviewed and approved by an Institutional Review Board.

You may talk to them at (215) 255-7857 or email HRPP@[Link] for any of the

following reasons:

 Your questions, concerns, or complaints are not being answered by the research
team.
 You cannot reach the research team.
 You want to talk to someone besides the research team.
 You have questions about your rights as a research subject.
 You want to get information or provide input about this research.
 229

6. Why are we doing this research?

The purpose of this research is to explore the lived experiences, attitudes and perceptions
about masculinity and fatherhood among men who experienced fatherlessness. The
investigation seeks to understand how these experiences have enabled or hampered the
participant’s ability to break trends of father-absence in their family. It pursues broad,
deep inquiry into the lives of un-fathered men some of whom appear to have risen above
the negative outcomes typically associated with not having a father and others who have
struggled to cope with the consequences of father-absence on their lives. This study will
also explore the attitudes and activities that impact the development of men who
experienced fatherlessness into models of effective fathering and positive male
citizenship for their sons.

7. How long will the research last?

We expect this entire study to be complete by December 31st, 2013. However, we

expect that your participation in this research study will be for 90 minutes for individual

interviews or 120 minutes for focus groups.

8. How many people will be studied?

We expect about 30 participants in this research study, 16 of which will be

individually interviewed and the remainder will be in focus groups.

9. What happens if you say yes, you want to be in this research?

Should you participate in this study, you will participate in a single interview or focus
group. Each interview will last no longer than 90 minutes and each focus group will last
no longer than 2 hours. The interview/focus group shall be semi-structured and will
include questions about becoming a man without the guidance of a father and about your
perceptions about how father absence has affected you, especially as it relates to fathering
your sons. There will be no follow up interviews.

10. What are your responsibilities if you take part in this research?
If you take part in this research, it is very important that you provide truthful

responses about your experiences.

11. What happens if you do not want to be in this research?

You may decide not to take part in the research and it will not be held against you.
 230

12. What happens if you say yes, but change your mind later?
You may agree to take part in the research now and stop at any time it will not be

held against you.

13. Is there any way being in this study could be bad for you?
You may share some experiences that are personally touching and painful.

Reaching back into your past may re-open emotional wounds that may lead to highly

emotional responses. Should you be overwhelmed with emotion, please remember that

you can withdraw from the research at any time. It is recommended that you seek

professional counseling if participation in this research causes significant emotional pain.

To mitigate any risks to your privacy or confidentiality, your name will not be

used with this research. There will be no identifying factors within the research.

14. Do you have to pay for anything while you are on this study?
There is no cost to you for participating in this study.

15. Will being in this study help you in anyway?

We cannot promise any benefits to you or others from your taking part in this

research. However, possible benefits include an opportunity to openly share your

personal experience, and express some emotions or feelings that you felt in the past.

16. What happens to the information we collect?

Your privacy and confidentiality of your responses is of utmost importance. To

protect your privacy, no identifying information will be collected from you. Identifying

information refers to any personal data such as addresses, identification numbers, etc.

You will be asked to provide a preferred Alias and all audio responses and transcriptions

will be referred to using your designated alias. The confidentiality of your data will be
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protected through secure storage of recorded interviews and related transcriptions on

a password protected hard drive that is not accessible via the Internet.

While utmost efforts will be made to limit your personal information to people

who have a need to review the data captured, we cannot promise complete secrecy.

Organizations that may inspect and copy your information include the Drexel IRB.

17. Can you be removed from the research without your OK?
The person in charge of the research study or the sponsor can remove you from

the research study without your approval. Possible reasons for removal include discovery

that you are a minor or do not meet key participant criteria.

We will tell you about any new information that may affect your choice to stay in

the research.

18. What else do you need to know?

This research study is being done by Drexel University.
If you become emotionally overwhelmed during this interview or afterwards,

please contact a professional counselor.

Upon completion of the study, you will be informed of the published results at a

designated website for your review.

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Your signature documents your permission to take part in this research.

DO NOT SIGN THIS FORM AFTER THIS
 December 31st, 2013
DATE

Signature of subject Date

Printed name of subject

Signature of person obtaining consent Date

Printed name of person obtaining consent Form Date

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Appendix C: Focus Group Protocol

Date/Time: ______________________
Location: _______________________
Facilitator: _____________________

Interview Protocol:

1. By a show of hands, how many of you either did not have your fathers around at all
or had your fathers around but they were distant?
a. For those of you who DID NOT have your fathers present and active,
when do you remember it becoming significant to you that your father was
not present? (RQ1) (STR3)
b. For those of you who DID have your fathers present and active, when do
you remember it becoming significant to you that your father was there to
support you? (RQ1) (STR3)
2. Describe the experience of being fatherless as an adolescent. What was the biggest
disadvantage? (RQ1) (STR3)
3. Describe your transition from adolescence to manhood.
a. For those of you who DID NOT have your fathers present and active, how
did not having your father impact that transition? (STR2)
b. For those of you that DID have your fathers, describe how his presence
impacted the transition?
4. Describe your perspective of what makes a man? (RQ2) (STR2)
a. From where did you gather your knowledge about what it meant to be a
man?
b. Describe what society tells you makes a good man? (RQ2)
5. Describe the role of father as you see it? (RQ2) (STR1, STR2)
a. What are the things that drove you when you thought about the type of
father you would be?
6. What feelings come to the fore when you think about fathering son(s)? (RQ3)
a. What were your biggest fears about becoming a father of a son?
7. How would you describe your level of involvement with your sons? (RQ3)
a. How has your involvement changed over time?
8. How has your adult life measured up against the man that you described above?
9. Describe how your experiences with being fatherless impacted the following life
experiences. (RQ3)
a. Expression of emotion, nurturing, discipline
b. How you make parenting decisions
c. Resolving conflict in the household and dealing with anger
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d. Forming meaningful bonds with other men/women

e. Decision making with respect to education and career
10. Describe what would be different about your life if your father was more present?
(RQ1)
a. Particularly, what would be different about how you father or have
fathered?
11. Is there anything that I did not address that you would like to mention?