DEPRESSION
Clinically significant depression is marked by persistent sadness, a depressed mood,
diminished interest in previously enjoyable activities, and other symptoms that interfere
with the ability to function in daily life
1. Relationships With Depression: 10 Ways to Support a Partner Who’s
Depressed
What does depression feel like for my partner?
What can I do to help support them?
How can I take care of myself?
Will their symptoms impact our relationship and, if so, how can we navigate any
issues together?
There are many myths about depression. For example, depression is not simply the result
of laziness or weakness. Your partner's pain may not "just be in their head." Depression
doesn't need a reason.
It's especially important to validate your partner's feelings and experience of this very
real and biologically based illness. Know that just like any other illness, it can be treated.
Suicide is also a very real risk of depression, so it's important to keep your loved one's
environment safe (such as removing any alcohol, drugs, or guns) and to take it seriously
if your loved one is feeling suicidal.
a. Practice Self-Care
b. Seek Therapy
c. Be There for Your Partner
d. Don't Take Your Partner's Depression Personally
Recognize Changes in Behavior
o Depression can cause anger, irritability, or withdrawal.
o Your partner may lose interest in activities and sex.
Don't Take It Personally
o These changes are not a reflection of their feelings for you.
o Understand that these are symptoms of the illness needing treatment.
e. Help Out With Chores
f. Encourage Your Partner to Seek Treatment
g. Offer Hope
Remind Them of Reasons to Keep Living
Personalize the Encouragement
h. Demonstrate Your Love
Express Love and Support
Acknowledge Their Feelings
Provide Reassurance
2. How Does Social Media Play a Role in Depression?
Research suggests that people who limit their time on social media tend to be happier
than those who don’t. Studies also indicate that social media may trigger an array of
negative emotions in users that contribute to or worsen their depression symptoms.
In May 2023, U.S. Surgeon General Dr. Vivek Murthy released an advisory to call attention
to the effects of social media on youth mental health. He notes that at crucial periods of
adolescent brain development, social media use is predictive of decreases in life
satisfaction, as well as additional concerns around body image, sleep issues, and much
more.
A Lancet study publbished in 2018 found that people who check Facebook late at night
were more likely to feel depressed and unhappy. Another 2018 study found that the less
time people spend on social media, the less symptoms of depression and loneliness they
felt. A 2015 study found that Facebook users who felt envy while on the networking site
were more likely to develop symptoms of depression
A landmark study—“No More FOMO: Limiting Social Media Decreases Loneliness and
Depression”—was published in the Journal of Social and Clinical Psychology in [Link]
study found that the less people used social media, the less depressed and lonely they
felt.
Taking in the photos or posts of people with seemingly “perfect” lives can make social
media users feel like they just don’t measure up. A 2015 University of Missouri study
found that regular Facebook users were more likely to develop depression if they felt
feelings of envy on the networking site.
Social media can also give users a case of FOMO, for example, if they were invited on
their friend’s beach vacation but couldn’t go for some reason. Or if the friend didn’t ask
them on the trip at all, users might feel hurt and left out to see that others in their social
circle were. It can lead them to question their friendships or their own self-worth.
Social media users who visit an ex’s social media page and see pictures of their former
partner wining and dining a new love interest can also experience FOMO. They might
wonder why their ex never took them to such fancy restaurants or lavished them with
gifts.
Ultimately, limiting one’s time on social media can mean less time spent comparing
oneself to others. This can extend to not thinking badly of oneself and developing the
symptoms that contribute to depression.
Prior to social media and the internet, children only had to worry about bullying on school
grounds, for the most part. But social media has given bullies a new way to torment their
victims.
3. 4 Reasons Depressed People Might Not Understand That They're
Depressed
Depression often develops in ways that make it hard to recognize.
The negative bias of depression can feel like an accurate view of oneself rather than a
symptom.
Ongoing mental health stigma leads some individuals to seek explanations that don't
include depression.
Early diagnosis means less suffering and impairment
a. Self-Loathing
Depression often leads to an extremely negative view of oneself, and even to self-hatred.
These feelings and beliefs can interfere with recognizing them as a symptom of
depression because they seem so true. In the grip of depression, the person believes the
problem is not that they think they're worthless, but that they are worthless. Other
symptoms of depression may be chalked up to one's "shortcomings" for similar reasons;
for example, excessive sleep may be seen as "laziness," increased appetite and
consumption of sweets as "poor self-control," and low motivation as a "lack of discipline."
b. Dark Outlook
A negative view of the world often accompanies depression, and can feel as true and
right as a negative view of oneself. The pessimism and hopelessness that attend low
mood may seem accurate to a person who's depressed. Accordingly, they may blame
their low mood not on depression but on a correct discernment of the miserable state of
the world. This perspective prevents them from realizing that they're seeing the world
through depression-tinted glasses.
c. Internalized Stigma
There is still considerable stigma against mental health diagnoses, including depression.
Those who experience depression might be seen as "weak" in some way, or not good at
tending to their mental health. Others might deny the reality of depression, seeing it
instead as an excuse for personal failings. These negative perceptions can lead many
people with mental health challenges to feel bad about themselves because of their
struggles. When depression symptoms appear, a person might be motivated (consciously
or unconsciously) to seek an explanation that avoids the stigma of mental illness. For
example, they might attribute their low energy and motivation to poor sleep. (Sleep
problems are also a common depression symptom.)
d. Clouded Thinking
Being depressed often leads to difficulty thinking clearly and making decisions. For this
reason, it can be hard to connect the dots to see that the symptoms taken together spell
depression. If you've been feeling down a lot lately and/or feel much less interested in
things than you normally do, consider seeing your doctor or a mental health professional
to discuss the possibility that you're experiencing depression.
4. 3 Things Not to Say to Someone Experiencing Depression
Sometimes we can inadvertently say things that worsen the situation for someone
facing depression.
Telling someone with depression to "snap out of it" implies that their condition is a
matter of choice.
Encouraging someone with depression to "just be positive" oversimplifies the
complexity of the condition.
a. "Just Snap Out of It": Emily's Struggle
Why it's harmful: Telling someone with depression to "snap out of it" implies that their
condition is a choice or a matter of will. It isn't. Depression is a complex mental health
issue influenced by various biological, psychological, and environmental factors. Such
comments dismiss the severity of the illness and invalidate the individual's struggles,
making them feel misunderstood and unsupported. Alternative approach: Instead of
minimizing the person's experience, offer empathy and understanding. You could say,
"I'm here for you, Emily. It's OK to feel this way, and I want to support you through it.
Let's find ways together to help you feel better."
b. "You Have Nothing to Be Depressed About": Alex's Dilemma
A lot of research supporting how depression doesn't discriminate based on external
circumstances. Even people with seemingly perfect lives can struggle with it. Invalidating
someone's feelings by suggesting they have no reason to be depressed can amplify
their guilt and shame. It may also deter them from seeking help, fearing they will not be
understood or believed. Alternative approach: Acknowledge that depression can affect
anyone, regardless of their life situation. Offer your support by saying, "I understand that
depression doesn't always have a clear cause, Alex. You don't have to go through this
alone. I'm here to listen whenever you need to talk."
c. "Just Be Positive": James' Experience
Why it's harmful: Encouraging someone with depression to "just be positive"
oversimplifies the complexity of their condition. Depression is not a choice, and simply
changing one's mindset cannot alleviate its symptoms. Such comments can intensify
feelings of inadequacy and failure, reinforcing the belief that the individual is somehow
responsible for their suffering. Alternative approach: Express your concern and
willingness to support without imposing unrealistic expectations. You could say, "James,
I've noticed you've been having a tough time lately. I'm here to listen if you ever need to
talk or if there's anything I can do to help lighten your load."
5. Am I Depressed or Lazy?
Depression and laziness have a lot in common, which is why many people are mislabeled
as lazy. Depression and laziness both affect motivation, concentration, energy levels, and
the quality of work produced.
The difference is that depression affects one's mental health and mood, while lazy people
are just unmotivated by things outside their control because they lack self-awareness or
insight into what motivates them. You will notice that it is difficult to get out of bed in the
morning. Not because you're so relaxed and enjoying your cozy time, but because you're
sad, dejected, and feeling hopeless.
Laziness is more of a situational experience. Some days you may feel lazy because
you're tired from a busy week. On the other hand, depression can last for weeks or
months regardless of how much rest you get.