INTERPERSONAL COMUNICATION

INTRODUCTION:
Interpersonal communication is the process by which people exchange information,
feelings, and meaning through verbal and non-verbal messages: it is face-to-face
communication.

Interpersonal communication is not just about what is actually said - the language used -
but how it is said and the non-verbal messages sent through tone of voice, facial
expressions, gestures and body language.

When two or more people are in the same place and are aware of each other's presence,
then communication is taking place, no matter how subtle or unintentional.

Without speech, an observer may be using cues of posture, facial expression, and dress
to form an impression of the other's role, emotional state, personality and/or intentions.
Although no communication may be intended, people receive messages through such
forms of non-verbal behaviour.

Elements of Interpersonal Communication

Much research has been done to try to break down interpersonal communication into a number of
elements in order that it can be more easily understood. Commonly these elements include:

The Communicators

For any communication to occur there must be at least two people involved. It is easy to think about communication
involving a sender and a receiver of a message.

However, the problem with this way of seeing a relationship is that it presents communication as a one-way
process where one person sends the message and the other receives it. While one person is talking and another is
listening.

In fact communications are almost always complex, two-way processes, with people sending and receiving messages
to and from each other simultaneously. In other words, communication is an interactive process. While one person is
talking the other is listening - but while listening they are also sending feedback in the form of smiles, head nods etc.
 The Message
Message not only means the speech used or information conveyed, but also the non-verbal messages exchanged such
as facial expressions, tone of voice, gestures and body language. Non-verbal behaviour can convey additional
information about the spoken message. In particular, it can reveal more about emotional attitudes which may underlie
the content of speech.

Noise
Noise has a special meaning in communication theory. It refers to anything that distorts the message, so that what is
received is different from what is intended by the speaker. Whilst physical 'noise' (for example, background sounds or
a low-flying jet plane) can interfere with communication, other factors are considered to be ‘noise’. The use
of complicated jargon, inappropriate body language, inattention, disinterest, and cultural differences can be
considered 'noise' in the context of interpersonal communication. In other words, any distortions or inconsistencies
that occur during an attempt to communicate can be seen as noise.

Feedback
Feedback consists of messages the receiver returns, which allows the sender to know how accurately the message has
been received, as well as the receiver's reaction. The receiver may also respond to the unintentional message as well
as the intentional message. Types of feedback range from direct verbal statements, for example "Say that again, I don't
understand", to subtle facial expressions or changes in posture that might indicate to the sender that the receiver feels
uncomfortable with the message. Feedback allows the sender to regulate, adapt or repeat the message in order to
improve communication.

Context
All communication is influenced by the context in which it takes place. However, apart from looking at the situational
context of where the interaction takes place, for example in a room, office, or perhaps outdoors, the social context also
needs to be considered, for example the roles, responsibilities and relative status of the participants. The emotional
climate and participants' expectations of the interaction will also affect the communication.

Channel
The channel refers to the physical means by which the message is transferred from one person to another. In a face-to-
face context the channels which are used are speech and vision, however during a telephone conversation the channel
is limited to speech alone.

Uses of Interpersonal Communication

Most of us engage in some form of interpersonal communication on a regular basis, often many times a
day, how well we communicate with others is a measure of our interpersonal skills.

Interpersonal communication is a key life skill and can be used to:

1. Give and collect information.

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2. Influence the attitudes and behaviour of others.
3. Form contacts and maintain relationships.
4. Make sense of the world and our experiences in it.
5. Express personal needs and understand the needs of others.
6. Give and receive emotional support.
7. Make decisions and solve problems.
8. Anticipate and predict behaviour.
9. Regulate power.

Four Principles of Interpersonal Communication

These principles underlie the workings in real life of interpersonal communication. They
are basic to communication. We can't ignore them

Interpersonal communication is inescapable

We can't not communicate. The very attempt not to communicate communicates

something. Through not only words, but through tone of voice and through gesture,
posture, facial expression, etc., we constantly communicate to those around us. Through
these channels, we constantly receive communication from others. Even when you sleep,
you communicate. Remember a basic principle of communication in general: people are
not mind readers. Another way to put this is: people judge you by your behavior, not
your intent.

Interpersonal communication is irreversible

You can't really take back something once it has been said. The effect must inevitably
remain. Despite the instructions from a judge to a jury to "disregard that last statement
the witness made," the lawyer knows that it can't help but make an impression on the
jury. A Russian proverb says, "Once a word goes out of your mouth, you can never
swallow it again."

Interpersonal communication is complicated

No form of communication is simple. Because of the number of variables involved, even

simple requests are extremely complex. Theorists note that whenever we communicate
there are really at least six "people" involved: 1) who you think you are; 2) who you think
the other person is; 30 who you think the other person thinks you are; 4) who the other
person thinks /she is; 5) who the other person thinks you are; and 6) who the other
person thinks you think s/he is.

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We don't actually swap ideas, we swap symbols that stand for ideas. This also
complicates communication. Words (symbols) do not have inherent meaning; we simply
use them in certain ways, and no two people use the same word exactly alike.

Osmo Wiio gives us some communication maxims similar to Murphy's law (Osmo Wiio,
Wiio's Laws--and Some Others (Espoo, Finland: Welin-Goos, 1978):

If communication can fail, it will.

If a message can be understood in different ways, it will be understood in just that way
which does the most harm.

There is always somebody who knows better than you what you meant by your message.

The more communication there is, the more difficult it is for communication to succeed.

These tongue-in-cheek maxims are not real principles; they simply humorously remind us
of the difficulty of accurate communication.

Interpersonal communication is contextual

In other words, communication does not happen in isolation. There is:

Psychological context , which is who you are and what you bring to the interaction. Your
needs, desires, values, personality, etc., all form the psychological context. ("You" here
refers to both participants in the interaction.)

Relational context , which concerns your reactions to the other person--the "mix."

Situational context deals with the psycho-social "where" you are communicating. An
interaction that takes place in a classroom will be very different from one that takes
place in a bar.

Environmental context deals with the physical "where" you are communicating.
Furniture, location, noise level, temperature, season, time of day, all are examples of
factors in the environmental context.

Cultural context includes all the learned behaviors and rules that affect the interaction. If
you come from a culture (foreign or within your own country) where it is considered
rude to make long, direct eye contact, you will out of politeness avoid eye contact. If the
other person comes from a culture where long, direct eye contact signals
trustworthiness, then we have in the cultural context a basis for misunderstanding.