Chapter 4

Classification
In this chapter we will explore the mode of rhetoric
that divides and defines. Think of the topic as a pie and you need to cut
into equal pieces and then show why you divided it that way.

Fall Winter
clothes clothes

Summer Spring
clothes clothes

The pie above seems like a simple way to define different types of clothes
by the time they are worn. These four divisions, however, do not fit well in
the traditional five-paragraph essay which calls for three body paragraphs.
How could we change this diagram and divide clothes into three categories?

Summer Winter
clothes clothes

Transitional
clothes

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Now we can have three body paragraphs and the scheme we have chosen
does not overlap. What do I mean by overlap? Well, let’s do the same
paper and talk about three types of clothing: winter, summer and shoes.
Well in this example there is overlap. Shoes belong in both summer and
winter categories. You can NOT have overlap. Each of the groups needs to
be mutually exclusive. Therefore, it is essential that you check to make
sure you have a solid scheme and that there is no overlap before you start
writing the paper.

Schemes (Principle of classification)

The scheme is the quality that sorts your topic into three distinct groups (or
more). It is the organizing principle. It therefore needs to be your first
thought when embarking upon a classification. Once you have the scheme,
your classification will take care of itself. The scheme must be significant or
people will not learn from your classification. An example of a trivial
scheme is to classify children by nose size. Yes, it can be done, but what do
you hope to understand from the classification? If I were grading it, I would
say that something stinks about the paper (olfactory humor kills in my
classroom).

Some effective schemes might be: age, size, duration, intensity, color,
craft, level, shape, or purpose. Choose one and one only when you start
your classification. You should not classify students by age and size at the
same time. You should start with something simple, so let’s classify the
hairstyles in class. The scheme I will use is by how cool they make people
look.

The first group is the conservative cuts. These make look

people look the least cool.

The second group is the stylish cuts. These people look cool,
but not totally wild.

The third group is the wild cuts. These people look cool; their
coolness is unquestioned.

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I could have done this same classification using length of hair, but what do I
learn of people by hair length? Is it really interesting? I could interview
people about their hair and how it represents them. I could find out why
they chose their style and get information that might be interesting to the
class. Do you think the same information would be available for hair
length?

Exercise 4.1
IN-CLASS EXERCISE Learn to scheme the class.

Classify people in your classroom by their work,

their ambitions, their majors, or their attitude.
See if you can narrow the broad scheme and find an interesting angle.
For example, take attitude and narrow it to “attitude by interest intensity
in English Comp” Why is this interesting? Well instructors are always
fascinated as to why people take their classes!

Scheme: Work
Narrowed Scheme:
Three Groups:

Scheme: Ambitions
Narrowed Scheme:
Three Groups:

Scheme: Majors
Narrowed Scheme:
Three Groups:

Scheme: Attitudes
Narrowed Scheme:
Three Groups:

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GROUPS
Get into groups and share your classification Exercise 4.2
principles and groups. Help each other refine Make it a group activity
the groups. Note the overlap between your
ideas – did someone else express the same
idea that you had in a better way? Did you
articulate your groupings in a clear way that everyone else liked? It is
important to notice what is common in ideas because collaboration pushes
you to higher levels. Also, it should make you question the interest-level of
your content – was your idea overly obvious? Is that why three others in the
group had the same groupings?

CLASSIFICATION PARAGRAPH PRACTICE 1

Take the thesis you wrote above and write a paragraph of
about 450 words developing it. Use specific examples and
detailed support to validate your groups.

THESIS
Choose one of the classification groups and write a thesis dividing your class
into three classes or groups.

Useful Classification Terms

The first kind An interesting type
Another kind A final type
Another group One category

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 EMAIL OR WEB SPECIAL
Pair up in class and then email your partner three pictures
that you believe have a similar theme but are different. For
example you could send three pictures of celebrities on the
red carpet, or three pictures of dairy farms of different sizes.
Your job will be to write a thesis statement that covers the first three
pictures and then add two more pictures to each category. Find two more
celebrity pictures that belong in each category and then bring them to
class.

Let’s say you divide Oscar dresses into elegant, risqué and odd. Populate
each group with three pictures then bring them to class (or if this is an
online class post them in the correct forum). Be prepared for questions
about your scheme and whether there is any overlap in your content. Can
risqué be odd too? Oops. Maybe I should go with elegant, beautifully risqué
and ugly.
This is the kind of exploration that can only be done with solid examples.

PLEASE READ
This can be a very difficult exercise because students tend to want to write
an example paper. Three examples of questions, instead of three types of
questions is a common mistake. There are three examples of Oscar dresses
rather than three types of dresses. If you can’t start your body paragraphs
with the sentence One type, or One category – you might be in the middle
of a paper that doesn’t really classify. The first obligation of this text is to
present ample examples to get you started. The obligation of the student is
to work until you understand the assignment. Don’t write a full essay
without a complete understanding of what your goal is.

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 Real world example
The following is an
example of an
essay. The assignment was to classify voters. There are
instructor comments in parenthesis.

Gore Vidal said: “Half of the American people have never read a

newspaper. Half never voted for President. One hopes it is the same

half.” (good opening quote) This statement points to one of the biggest

problems with the American voter, a lack of knowledge about the issues

and candidates. When it comes to deciding how to caste their vote voters

fall into one of three types; those that vote based on the issues, those that

vote based on the candidate’s personality, and those that vote with the

crowd. (might the crowd voters not overlap with the personality voters?

Otherwise a clear thesis)

The first type of voter selects a candidate based on that

candidate’s position on an issue. (good topic sentence) This voter usually

feels very strongly about one particular issue and looks to the candidate

who supports their view. An issue that has always polarized issue voters

is that of abortion. In his article regarding one-issue politics John Piper

shows how strongly a voter can feel about the issue when he states that a

person that endorses the right to kill unborn children should never be

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allowed to hold office. In the 2008 Presidential election an example of

this type of voter would be a voter that feels strongly about ending the

war in Iraq. This person would be more likely to vote with a democrat.

The BBC News Election Issues Guide compares the candidates on the issue

of the war in Iraq. Hillary Clinton is for the phased redeployment and the

end of the surge strategy; while Barak Obama backs a phased withdrawal

of troops. (this says little about the how the voters see them) On the

opposite side all three republican candidates support the war and the

continuation of a military presence in Iraq for as long as it takes. Another

type of issue voter would be the farmer who cares about issues that affect

the farm such as climate changes and the environment. The farmer would

be more likely to vote for a candidate that strongly supports clean energy.

(give specific support, quote a farmer if you want to use this example)

The unfortunate thing about issue voters is that they may not look beyond

the one issue that is the most important to them. The issue voter may find

that they have voted for someone that they do not agree with on most

issues. To make a wise choice, one must look at all the issues and find a

candidate that agrees with the majority of them.

The personality voter castes their vote based on the charisma and

personality of the candidates. (there is some repetition here.) This voter

tends to be a more emotional voter, often feeling a strong like or dislike

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for particular candidates. John Kennedy, as the first president of

the television age, utilized his personality to great advantage

against his opponent Richard Nixon and won the election easily.

Erika Tyner Allen describes how during the 1960 Kennedy-Nixon

Presidential debates, people that just listened rated Nixon as having done

better than Kennedy. Those that watched the televised debates

overwhelming rated Kennedy as having won. According to Jill Lawrence of

USA Today, during the first months of the 2008 primary election many

people felt that Hilary Clinton not only lacked personality but that she was

“chilly.” (do they not still vote for her?) This rush to judgment hurt Hilary

in the polls even though her campaign strategists immediately responded

by making Hilary more approachable. The more charismatic the

candidate the more likely they are to appeal to the personality voter

however, personality does not a President make. Voters of this type may

be terribly disappointed in their candidate’s performance once in office as

they did not understand where the candidate stood on the issues. Making

an informed decision is always a better decision.

The last type of voter is the voter that votes with the “crowd.” (clear

topic sentence again.) The crowd voter relies on the opinions of others to decide

how to caste their vote. A celebrity endorsement appeals to this kind of voter.

When Oprah Winfrey gave her endorsement to Barak Obama, she took many of

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the crowd voters to his camp. Obama’s ratings in the polls went up immediately.

(give exact numbers here, this is the place for research) On his bloggingstocks

site, Tom Barlow notes that Oprah’s support tends to lend legitimacy to Obama’s

prospects. More recently Senator Edward Kennedy has joined the Obama camp.

As reported by [Link] reporters Anne E. Komblut and Shailagh

Murray, Senator Kennedy indicated that he felt that Obama has extraordinary

gifts of leadership and character. This endorsement gives Obama a big boost in

the polls just before the “Super Tuesday” primaries. (did it help him win the

Mass.?) Crowd voters keep a close eye on the polls, changing their opinions based

on the latest results. This voter is strongly influenced by their family and

associates many times asking them their opinions on candidates and issues. They

may also vote straight down their party lines, thus depending on the party to

make their decision for them. (find a stat on how many voters always vote for

their party regardless of candidate.) Crowd voters lack an opinion of their own,

therefore not feeling any responsibility for their vote. They may end up feeling

disappointed in the end, but will blame someone else for that disappointment.

Three different types of voters, those that vote by issues, those

that vote based on personality and those that vote based on the “crowd”,

three different approaches to the selection of a candidate, none of them

good on their own. A good democracy not only requires participation, it

requires informed participation. Plato said: “One of the penalties for

refusing to participate in politics is that you end up being governed by

your inferiors.” No matter what voter type, voting without knowledge is a

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waste of a vote. To make an informed decision each voter must research

the issues involved, research the candidates to establish how they stand

on the issues and talk to people whose

opinions they respect. Once all the Exercise 4.3

Analyze real-world examples.
information has been gathered then one can

make an informed decision. Make a

difference, don’t just vote, vote with knowledge.

ANALYSIS
Now that you have read the sample essay, read it again and identify the
following parts.
 Thesis Statement
 The three groups of voters
 Body Paragraph One Topic Sentence
 Support used
 Body Paragraph Two Topic Sentence
 Support used Exercise 4.4
Make it a group activity
 Body Paragraph Three Topic Sentence
 Support used
 Conclusion

IN-CLASS EXERCISE
Share your analysis with a partner or group. What observations do you have
that are similar and what do you have that are different? Share your
impressions on the quality of the content as well. If you have any areas of
uncertainty or disagreement, ask your professor.

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POSSIBLE CLASSIFICATION ESSAY TOPICS
1. Research and write an essay classifying community college students
into three interesting and original groups.

2. Research and write an essay classifying voters in the last general

election.

3. Research and write an essay classifying Wal-mart Shoppers

4. Research and write an essay classifying America’s friends

COMMON CLASSIFICATION PITFALLS (ROOKIE MISTAKES)

PITFALL ONE
Not naming your groups. This is part content and part grammar. Your thesis
needs to be parallel. That means that if your first thing is an adjective, you
shouldn’t then switch to a noun. For example,

INCORRECT: Jennifer Aniston is popular because she is kind, honesty, and

funny.
CORRECT: Jennifer Aniston is popular because she is kind, honest, and
funny.

In addition to being grammatically parallel, giving your groups names will

help provide shortcuts throughout your essay. For example:

Parents can be divided into three groups: the parents who are always
giving their children what they want, the parents who never listen to their
children, and the parents who are constantly negotiating with their
children in the pursuit of fairness.

Imagine having to refer to these groups throughout your essay? Are you
going to repeat those long clauses each time? Not only would that not be
good style, it wouldn’t be very efficient. Contrast that with this:

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Parents can be divided according to their parenting styles into the
autocrats, the democrats, and the permissives.

Now you have three simple terms that you can work with throughout a
paper.

PITFALL TWO
Lack of support for the three classes is a common mistake. If you only have
one person with a wild haircut, does that really make the classification
relevant? Find groups that are populated by enough individuals that they
are seem important. If everyone in class in highly motivated to take English
Composition then my classification scheme needs to be modified. Make
sure you have enough examples for each group, and that’s what we’ll work
on next.

PITFALL THREE
Another hazard of classification is overlapping among the members of the
class, that is, not making a sharp enough distinction among the members. If
you classify types of dogs as mongrels, thoroughbreds, and house dogs, you
have made a mistake. The third category is so large as to embrace the other
two because both mongrels -and thoroughbreds can be house dogs also. You
should seek another way to classify types of dogs. Yes, this was mentioned
earlier, but it is still a common error and warrants being placed in here
twice – just so you remember!

PITFALL FOUR
Another danger is setting up categories that lend themselves to simplistic
treatment. If you classify dogs as long-haired, medium-haired, and short-
haired, you have made a rather nonproductive distinction among types of
dogs. This classification lends itself only to a discussion of hair length, the
results of which will not be particularly profound or informative. Yes, this
was touched on earlier, too, but it is still a common error and warrants
being reinforced!

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